Transcript
Speaker: We're just too funny anyways. yeah Yeah, this is just how the podcast has to start. We'll never fucking start. We should have started like ages ago. We should have been recording for 20 minutes already. I mean, really, because that was our best stuff, really. know. They just all missed out.
Speaker: You guys remember the the OO thing? saw your OOOs, yeah. um Guys, man, I really wish we had. Yeah. You know what? Next time when we get into the call, i'm going to push the record button immediately and then I'll just cut out the parts that don't belong in the podcast and I'll just put this as like an extra mini episode for people or some shit.
Speaker: Please leave out the part where I read out. Like the the ah what do they call it? The bloopers. Yeah, please. What part did you want me to leave out, David? Can you leave out the part where I read out my full address and social security number? Right. David, that's going to go behind a paywall.
Speaker: um I mean, i already took that down and is in the process. Yeah, it's going to be on our Ko-Fi. So if you want to if you want to learn more about David, go to ko-fi.com slash funnest. For only $5.99.
Speaker: Yeah, for only $5.99, that's a good deal. That's American dollars, not euros. Right. Per number. I thought it was dollar-re-do's. Dollar-re-do's. All right, so last time, guys, here's what happened. Real quick run, Dan, as we say in the Berg.
Speaker: um You guys, you found a little gremlin fucking... little elf looking dickhead porcelain guys in the woods. And you went, ah, you dickheads. And they had little cars and they tried to wreck you. And you guys said, fuck you. And then a gravy almost burned down the forest with some black fire, but she fucked up a bunch of those guys in the process, blew up cars.
Speaker: ah a rock jumped into into Bill's arms and he's like oh I'm a scythe boy now and he swung around and cut everything um and then so that was really cool and then ah and then you guys were like ah we saved everything with ice and water and saved the forest from burning down and killed all these little dudes and then you guys got a call Yeah. And Rock picked up a piece of rebar.
Speaker: And then you guys got a call from from ah Buster, who was all like, oh, guys, I got you like a bunch of blue bucks. And Bill's like, oh, dude, fucking blue bucks are worth dog doo doo, bro. And then so then.
Speaker: a woman named Gladys from Oculus tapped into you guys' his little psychic connection. You guys a little like hand phones, essentially. And she was like, I'll pay you guys $3,000 total euros. Even it was euros, right?
Speaker: I have written on dollars. I thought it was like the money that Bill gets in his planet. It was originally. Right.
Speaker: Oh, it was. OK, it was. But then I was like, those suck. yeah ah you knowt get and yet If you wrote down dollars, then you can have then you can have American dollars instead of Euros. They're worth a little bit more, so now's the time to decide what you have.
Speaker: okay So rock got Rock got a thousand dollars. You guys got a thousand euros. So he's a little bit poorer than you than the rest of you.
Speaker: And so Oculus was essentially this woman named Gladys was like, hey, you know what? We can contract with you guys because somehow you guys got to Europe way faster than we could to investigate. So we'll just work through Buster as like your medium.
Speaker: ah your your secretary, essentially, and then he'll do all that stuff. And you guys, okay, cool, great. um And then you guys remembered, oh, shit, it's almost 5 o'clock German time.
Speaker: We need to go and do our side quest at the Olympia Park. And with Farfik Nugent, who is waiting for you to go and model some weapons for a side gig. So at least two of you have to go, but all three of you can.
Speaker: And he's paying you, what, $15? an hour or something to do that. I can't remember. Huh? I think it was 16.
Speaker: $16 an hour. Yes. That's fine. I'm not going to go back and re-listen. So, you know. I think he just haggled us an extra dollar, actually. That's fine. You know what? it's I believe you. I have no reason to not believe you. I'm very trustworthy person.
Speaker: People say I'm gullible and I have no reason not to believe them. So, you know, that's fine. um So you're running towards or walking towards Farfignugan's area at the Olympia Park. I don't know if I describe what this guy looks like and looks like, and i don't think I'm going to.
Speaker: So whatever you think Farfignugan looks like, he's just pacing outside of the Olympia Park grounds, looking at his German watch, noticing it's almost German o'clock, wondering where you guys are.
Speaker: I think he looks like Mr. Bean with glasses. buts All right, but Mr. Bean with glasses, I believe you. $17 an hour? Awesome. So I don't remember what he talks to talked like, but you know what? It's International Accent Day week, so he might sound like whatever comes to mind right now. Mr. Bean didn't talk at all.
Speaker: Exactly. So he now he goes, and he's just pointing you.
Speaker: He's like Mr. Bean's cousin that does talk and has glasses. He's like, yes, I am not allowed to use the accent I was using. And so thus, this is what I sound like now. Bad choice, Adam. That really hurts your throat. and That's terrible. Actually, actually, i will actually, I will sound like this because it hurts Adam's voice a lot less to do it. Happy accent day. God, I could feel every muscle in my neck just go like tightening up. Holy shit. I don't know how he did it all the time. Right.
Speaker: Oh, God, that's why he didn't talk. um Okay, so you guys are at Farfig Nugent, who is just changing his accent constantly because it's the festival season. ah And he says, I say, it's it's almost time.
Speaker: for for its use We only have five minutes to get you all in your garbs.
Speaker: What kind of garbs are wearing? Your garbs, you know, you deep you have to look the part. Oh, you mean like costume? I have one actually. Do you mind if I go change?
Speaker: You have a costume for this job that I just hired you for like four hours ago? Uh-huh. I'm an actress, darling. I am prepared for everything.
Speaker: All right, fine. ah Blue man, do you have your own garb or shall I outfit you? Well, I have my own clothing. I just I don't. I didn't know I needed a costume. All right. you Just give me whatever. Excuse me. It's not a costume. It's a garb.
Speaker: is What is the garb? It's just it's a beautiful, long flowing silver robe. You look dapper as heck. All right, give me it.
Speaker: mont montage you guys are now dressed up bill Bill tries on 50 different silver garbs tight flats what it in five for minutes does Grady have the correct silver garb on that's my question yeah Grady what are you wearing so she essentially looks like the female Rambo And so no silver garbs at all.
Speaker: No, she just literally looks like she's got um like a ah camouflage bikini with like the face paint and everything.
Speaker: Huh. Well, would you like to cover up a little or have more garbs? No, this is fine. Are you... I mean... oh Okay, you know what?
Speaker: It's fine. Do you want to sell stuff or not? of of what Yes, so... ah All right, look, here's the thing, folks. You are about to walk into a gallery filled with weapons, rumored... Now, this is the story. Rumored to have been wielded on the mountains of Olympus.
Speaker: Now, I don't know if it's true, but it's part of the lore. So, I want you to find a section of the room, find a quadrant with weapons that really appeal to you, and just sell the heck out of them. Because the warriors...
Speaker: who are going to be participating in the Aliens Arena will be choosing these weapons. They will be bidding on them to get different buffs and stats and and and advantages. And so you have to really upsell them and you'll get a small commish if you sell them at at a much higher rate.
Speaker: So sell. So tell me again why this wasn't a good idea again, because this bikini will sell. Look, fine, whatever. It's just, just you know, maybe, i don't know, maybe um' maybe don't pander to the ones that have children. You know, to the people who are coming in who might want to show off to their kids that they're the arena. Snore.
Speaker: Whatever, dude. I'll just go sell some stuff and you'll just be happy with what I sell. but Look, I'm just of thought You know, I don't. We're already ah almost almost behind schedule, so ah fine. You, um tall, bald guy. Are you good? Your your robes look very dapper.
Speaker: Your garbs? stretching my neck and I'm saying I'm ready to be modeled. All right, cool. And thank you three. And I turned into his life. Oh, um.
Speaker: Ah, well, yes. Now this is not. So you wish to be sold to. He like just looks perplexively at like you at Gravy and Bill like, am i a Are we selling your?
Speaker: Are you be selling your friend? We're not selling him. Well, he... he tell but We're just doing an advertising gig, so we just want people to come down, right? So, you know... Oh, wait. I'd like to say to Bill, sell me to a guy and when he's not looking, I'll run away. So we have the money, but he doesn't have a weapon.
Speaker: I don't know, are you into... We're scamming people now? Yes. Oh, great. What'd you do to him? him? yeah um You know what? I'm going to pretend I didn't hear any of that. ah Just please. You know what? You're right. I heard nothing. la la la la. la ah He walks away and he opens these two giant double doors and holds them in place.
Speaker: And there's just a big open space riddled with just weapons on the walls hanging from the ceilings inside frames being held by, you know, pieces of like a ah sets of armor in different sort assorted stands. Some are glowing, some are shiny, some are pointy, some are clubs.
Speaker: And so at this point, folks, I'm just going to let you tell me where you go, what you see, what you're selling, and you know and whom you see that you are trying to sell to. Because just imagine, I'm going to give you guys free reign, to which could be dangerous, to just imagine the different kinds of people that may be coming in here to either buy weapons on someone else's behalf.
Speaker: there's There's also other gear. So like there's their shields, there's armor, other things. Just whatever you think would look good to go into a battle with. Um, so you tell me where you're going, what kind of stuff you're trying to sell and who you're trying to sell it to.
Speaker: And then, ah we'll just improvise that shit.
Speaker: All good. Okay. Uh, yeah. Has anyone, this is Adam cutting out for anybody? Yeah. I thought it was just me. Oh no. Am I breaking?
Speaker: Yes. Oh, gosh. care I hope on the recording it sounds good. Do you guys you guys want me know do you want to what you check and then maybe wait a second? Am I good?
Speaker: Hey, yeah, but it just it was kind of like it came and went for a second. You know what? We'll just leave it in. We'll just leave it in. All right, guys, I'm just going to re-say what I just said. So listeners, buckle in. So here's what's going to happen. You guys are going to go into a big room.
Speaker: filled with just whatever weapons, armors, equipment you think would be cool for battle. And I want you to just tell me where you're going, what you're selling, and just let me know what kind of patrons that might be coming by.
Speaker: And then we'll just improvise the hell out of it. Sound good? Sound good. Yeah. Now for people who are hearing this twice, hey, you're welcome. Because I'm not editing this at all. You think I'm going to edit this? That's crazy. What are you talking about?
Speaker: If you were sitting at the table, I couldn't edit out David saying, Adam, I just can't hear your voice anymore. pe um All right. So. i So, Brock, you are just a scythe on the ground right now.
Speaker: Right. Somebody pick me up. Somebody pick me up. All right. Who's picking up? raising up rocket Take him. I'll pick him up. Sell him. big Bill, you're going to take him and sell him or Gravy's going to take him? un so I'm picking him up.
Speaker: Okay. yeah All right. It fits with. Well, I don't know if it fits with your garb now because you're just wearing a bikini and rainbow paint. Everything goes. Oh, trust me. She's making it work.
Speaker: All right. That's true. Yeah. Rambo is famous for being in a bikini and having a scythe. I forgot. And Rambo Fourth Blood. That was like one of the ones that went straight to DVD. um I didn't watch any of them, so I don't give fuck.
Speaker: Yeah. Famous scene where he he finds a scythe and then just says, don't need to wear clothes anymore. And then he does. I knew it. The rest of the movie. I didn't think he really did it first, though, because you could see his man boobies anyways.
Speaker: and They're called. I've just seen posters, guys. OK, Bill, ah while gravy is picking up rock to take him to a section of the room, where are you going? What kind of stuff are you going to try to sell?
Speaker: Is there any... ah I'm looking around and it it's like... Is it all like ah medieval weaponry? Like... It's kind of all over the place, really. ah The world is your oyster.
Speaker: Is there just like a gun that I could advertise or something? Yeah, there's a gun and there's a whatever gun you imagine is there. It says ah like the fill in the blank of Hades or the fill in the blank of Poseidon because they famously use guns. The gun of Poseidon.
Speaker: There's an AR-15 of Poseidon. Yeah, it's It's just like, wow, well yeah, I guess this would be really effective. Yeah, it's it's got like it's it's got like little like waves kind of painted on it and like a shark, like a shark mouth where like the barrel is.
Speaker: um And it has this little symbol of the trident on the on the on the handle. what do you call the handle of where you shoot from? the um What? You mean the grip?
Speaker: You mean the stock? Yes. The stock, maybe. I don't, you know. Yeah, the the the, you know, the one of the one of the legs you hold on to to shoot it.
Speaker: The shaft? The handle. Yes, the shaft. I a shaft. it's the there's a You know, it's the thing that triggers next to. that It hangs in front of that part. The dangle? that No, the trigger is the dangle. I know what that is. You're a dangle dangle.
Speaker: You know, it's the it's the it's the it's the trigger. It's the barrel. It's the blah, bla blah, blah, blah. You know, it's all that stuff that you do. it Anyway, yes, there's the AR-15 of Poseidon.
Speaker: Go on, Bill. where you what it How do you pitch it? i don't I don't need to. i'm just like, look, this thing is... just This is incredibly dangerous. it shouldn't shouldn't be here.
Speaker: shouldn't You shouldn't have this. You see a dwarf, a dwarven man walks up to you and he goes, now why shouldn't I have it? you The way you talk about it makes me think I should want it.
Speaker: Well, it's just really dangerous. could kill somebody. oh How dangerous? Well, it can probably bypass all the armor in here. Really? Really? Yeah. But you say I shouldn't get it, though, even though it would it would do well in well in battle.
Speaker: Yes. Hmm. I can't tell if you're trying to play me or not. aye I would and um be like normally i ask if you want to demo it, but like if I shoot this thing, going be too loud. like Oh, so true. and It's going to be too dangerous to shoot indoors and an and so you know outside of a range. you know It's just going to bounce the bullet, bounce around and go anywhere.
Speaker: Oh, it could hit me? it could hit me. could anybody. could you. ye Yep. you're saying I shouldn't buy this gun? I'm not saying that, but, you know, it's pretty lethal. You know, it's effective.
Speaker: What if I put like a small bit on it just to kind of hold it? Because if it's so dangerous, no one else is going to want it. Yeah, I don't know. I might i might have to bet on this myself. You know, it's just a... Well...
Speaker: Well, I mean, what's a what would you bid on it? um Fifteen hundred dollary dues or whatever.
Speaker: You know, ah we dollary dues is, you know, we call them dollary dues at the festival, but it's just it's just euros here in Germany. OK, 1700 euros, 1700 euros, 18.
Speaker: h Wow, it's already going up. Oh, my God. All right. Roll a manipulate someone. And depending on how well you do, we'll see if he.
Speaker: um Because, I mean, that was some pretty good logic you got there. Well, I should. I wasn't. I wasn't. we At first you weren't. But now it sounds like you just keep ticking up the dollars to make them anxious.
Speaker: right A seven... ah seven or A seven... mix i scroll the high school of seven A seven means that he'll he'll tell take your advice if you really if you convince him that you really mean it and show him that you mean it in some way. so like what What kind of gesture or act or thing do you say? that like Because he's on the fence. He seems like he's anxious that if he walks away, he'll lose it.
Speaker: But you keep jacking up the numbers. So what's something that you can do to convince him that he should... Jump on this now. um I'm going to I want to call my I want to call Buster and ask him for $1,800. You're going to call him like while this guy's in front of you. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: ah Hey, bud, what do you need? $1,800. That's
Speaker: that's it All right. So now I go and you see a lot. You see your hand just close and like you see your account bumps up to twenty eight hundred dollars. Twenty eight hundred euros. Let's see. It looks like i I can get this gun and make sure that nobody uses it. Nobody else takes it.
Speaker: Wait, wait, wait. No, hang on. banon For eighteen hundred. No, yeah hu sir. I was. Ah, it's under my limit. I can't go any higher. So. All right. He he looks at it. He looks he looks at his phone and starts scrolling. He goes.
Speaker: Well, if I and wanted to get and want to get two things today. ah Fine. $1,900 for the AR-15 from Poseidon.
Speaker: I can't afford. i yout know I can't outbid that. He goes, ha ha ha. Yes, quite, of course. Well, damn well you you know, yeah you gotta bring more money, guy. I guess I'll have to bid on AK-47 of Zeus.
Speaker: There's an AK-47 of... Where is that? Oh, it's in my left hand. well What? You've been hiding out this other gun this whole time? That's right, Buster. Is it better than the one of Poseidon?
Speaker: so We don't need to have that argument now. Well, no, because I just put money. I can't take them my bid away. no, no, no. We're not going to have the AK versus AR debate. Well, then what do I... You're saying I shouldn't bid on this one then because I got the... You should bid on both.
Speaker: But you just said that there's one isn't better than the other one. Yeah, you need but you can do it. I dual wield them and I'm like, look, that you can use both of them. Oh, my God. I didn't know you could hold. I thought you could only hold one at a time.
Speaker: You must be terribly strong. No, I'm actually terribly weak. What? How do you handle the kick of of them? they're so There's no recoil. They're so lightweight. The gods have no recoil on their weapons? That's right.
Speaker: Truly, they are but they deserve to be on high. ah Well, how much? Well, you can't bid. You have no more money. so but But if I put $1,800 on this one, someone will try to undercut me on that one.
Speaker: yeah want to get two things. I didn't know I was going to buy two guns. and you should You should wait a second for your internet to restore itself. she reflect Very good. I will wait.
Speaker: I will wait before I decide to to bid again.
Speaker: Good idea. I don't know what to tell you guys. This damn aliens arena and it's stupid, shitty Wi-Fi. Germany is famous for bad Wi-Fi. I know. I heard about that. You guys, you know, you guys have to plug in over here in America and it has to run all the way under the ocean to you guys' houses.
Speaker: Yeah, that's the one thing America has is Internet. um So ah he says, ah, fuck it. And he drops 1800 also on the a k forty seven of zeus right, jobs on here.
Speaker: So you've put eighteen hundred bucks, um but your job's not done because you could try to get other people to bid further on that later if you want to keep trying to make more money or you can just try to sell something else completely.
Speaker: That is up to you. I'll sell Dionysus's Glock.
Speaker: OK, the clock of Dionysus you're trying to sell. um So this guy says he's tapped out. He goes, well, I got the two best guns. So thank you for your service, Mr. um What do I call you? Because I'd like to give you a tip.
Speaker: Bill. Mr. Bill. Yes. i love a Strong name. Strong name, weak man. Yeah, yeah he he's he sends you an additional 100 euros just as a tip.
Speaker: um I sent it back. You sent it back. It's just like its a power move. All right, fine. 200 euros as a tip. I don't I don't work for tips, buddy. It's actually illegal for me to take tips, buddy.
Speaker: It's illegal for you to take tips. I've always hit people at every tournament. I don't I don't need your tips. Fine. 500. That's all I can spare. Here's your tip.
Speaker: Don't into the wind. two You know what? My wife does say I do that too much and ends up getting on her and the kids. um But how else do you kiss your family without putting your lips on them? You know, I don't have a family to kiss.
Speaker: but Oh, that's so sad. Here's a thousand dollars. i Don't watch your fucking money. Fine. I'll go give it to that hot girl in the bikini who clearly looks like sexy Rambo. She needs it. She needs it. She needs to be able to afford clothes.
Speaker: That's right. Yeah, poor girl. She's probably so cold. um So ah he walks away and another person walks up and you see it's just like this really tall, slender woman, ah probably like has like her hair up in that like double ponytail.
Speaker: And she goes, what you got here?
Speaker: Is that the Glock of Dionysus? She talking to me? She's talking to you. Still? Okay. All right. ah Yeah. You said you had the Glock of Dionysus. You overheard. Yeah, this. ah I inspect it. Do I see anything different about it from like a normal Glock?
Speaker: It's just no, it's just the Glock that has paint on it. Shit. It's just so nice on there. Yeah, it just literally just has the word Dionysus. No wine bullets or anything? Nope.
Speaker: is it Is it loaded? Oh, yeah, it's got bullets in it. Why do they get fired? They have loaded handguns out here, man. It's a loaded handgun and it has like a little glass of wine kind of spilling over on the on the, you know, the nub that you hold where the trigger hangs out.
Speaker: That thing. um Yeah, it's on there. The shaft. Yeah, the shaft. Sorry, I forgot on the shaft of the gun. let my hand are on the shaft. Uh-huh. And she goes, oh, boy, that looks like it fits nice in your hand. Maybe I should da put that in mine.
Speaker: yeah My daddy told me not to be afraid of my guns. There are shafts on my guns. I'm trying to reference that fucking call. I'm not afraid of the shaft of a gun.
Speaker: let Let me hold it, see if there's a good weight to it. I gave her the loaded a gun. She she like starts like just pointing it at everything in the room, very not gun safe.
Speaker: Just like, ooh, that's nice. That's loaded. so ah Yes, I know. Do you? Yes, of course. see po She fires it up in the air a couple of times. Oh my god. snatch out of her hands. i snatched out of right i Everybody's clapping. They loved it.
Speaker: I can't hear anything. What? What? Huh? Oh my god.
Speaker: Fuck you all. You fuck what? You what, mate? What did you say? Why are the fucking German-Australians so fucking crazy? it's It's International Accent Day, darling.
Speaker: Oh god. It's International Accent Day week. um Right. I mean, how much... no one's bid on this one yet, have they? ah No, they haven't.
Speaker: I think that's what you're asking. You're asking about bidding? Yeah, yeah. I mean, i want to bid on it so I can win it.
Speaker: You made it look so cool and firing it just felt so right.
Speaker: i e I can't hear you, lady. I said firing it is so right. I won it. I got a bid. You farted on it.
Speaker: Hang on. Let me try my American accent. o Yes, I would like to purchase. Nope. I would like to purchase a ah a bid on the gun from you, sir.
Speaker: You took a shit and it was fun? Yes, i I do enjoy shitting, but that is not what I said.
Speaker: She just sends $2,000 over to the bidding pool and just is like fine, 2,000 wing-wangs on the pistol of the Glock of Dionysus. Sold.
Speaker: That's it. No one else can bid. That's right. Killer. All right, sweet. And so once you say sold, it locks that price in and she gets like a little certificate that just ah prints out nearby from like a little pedestal.
Speaker: And you get a 10 percent commission from selling it for two thousand dollars, two thousand euros. How much is that? That's two hundred dollars, two hundred euros. How much is that in blue bucks?
Speaker: In blue bucks? I don't know. You have the currency. I i forget what you said. Didn't you say like four thousand forty thousand blue bucks was like five dollars or some of shit? I don't know what that conversion rate is, but five dollars is 40,000. So if you got 200, that's five times 40.
Speaker: So that would be 40 times 40, which is 160,000 blue bucks. Something like that. Yeah. Yeah. So you just made 160,000 blue bucks. If I math properly, you may not. Someone checked me in the comments.
Speaker: Yeah. So yeah, well, no way. Yes. Yes, that's correct. I'm right. Yeah. No, no, I'm not. you No. What is it? Yes. That's probably right. You're right. Yes. I used to be good at math and now I'm not. so did i do all You did that better than I would have. I just said it confidently so it sounds correct.
Speaker: i just said it confidently so it sounds correct you're You're right. Let's just agree right now that despite what previous lore might have said, that five five euros, not five dollars, five euros is equal to 40,000 blue bucks.
Speaker: That's what we've learned. Because he said 40,000 is only like five dollars. I think he might have said five dollars, but we're going to say, we're going say five million blue bucks. You have 8 million blue bucks, right? Something like that.
Speaker: Well, if you know what, you will just we'll solve this off camera off mic. well We're done because I don't know what it is now. Adrian, you're from Germany. Figure it out, right? um What am I supposed to do? um how manynnague in He's just a little
Speaker: You're right. You're such a good boy in American. 1.6 million? Because I couldn't remember because I was wondering if it was a couple zeros off. Yeah, you're good. you had a couple zeros.
Speaker: Is it 1.6 million for realsies? Yes. Yeah. All right. and I believe you. That's probably what it is. All right. Yeah. One point is 8000. What? To one, right? Like it's 8000 blue bucks to one dollar.
Speaker: I guess that would be correct. Yeah. So, yeah, 200 times 800. 200 times 800. You can do that kind of math. You're right. Anyway, so let's go on. Let's move on. Anyway, you made a lot of blue bucks today. We know that much.
Speaker: um All right. So while as you're while you're doing that, we'll go over to Gravy, who was doing something with Rock, who is still a scythe. um What's going on over there in your neck of the of the ah the merch place?
Speaker: So she found like the video game area, ah more specifically the, um oh the Borderlands-ish.
Speaker: Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. ah version or side of the I guess booth or whatever and she's all holding um rock on her shoulder you know with the blade coming along on her back and she is just waiting for the first um person to ask her about her Skype The first person to pass by, I penetrate the mind. You need me. You need me. You need me.
Speaker: And you see like a short guy with ah like kind of combed over black hair and a mustache and ah a woman a little bit taller than him with long flowing dark hair.
Speaker: um both kind of wearing sort of kind of very loose fitting clothes, of kind of very vibrant, very hippie inspired. um And they come walking over and um the short guy goes, hey, I don't know why, babe, but I feel like I really need this scythe. It's ah it's really calling me. what do you think, hon?
Speaker: She goes, oh, yeah. um And so you have these guys hanging out in front of you. What do you do? You guys really want this ah beautiful weapon right here that I've got?
Speaker: Yeah, I think I could, umm you know cut a few fools with that thing. What do you what do you say, babe? Yes, I, mm-hmm. Yeah, I've really, i think, we we're yeah, what how much, has anybody started bidding on this yet?
Speaker: Not yet, you're the first so far. Crazy. All right. Well, we we can set the bar here. Now, you know, you are the professional, clearly.
Speaker: um What's a good... really what what What would you say a good starting bid would be? I don't want to go too low, but too high, and then I just blow the wad on one thing, you know?
Speaker: I would definitely say i'd need at least $50,000 for him
Speaker: 50,000, darling. I also screamed 50,000. Everybody at the same time goes 50,000. Well, he is legendary. so you know, and there are these other special features that I cannot tell you until you bid on him. So, you know.
Speaker: You cannot tell me the special features until I bid? Mm-hmm. What if I start? Fine, I'll start at $1,000. I'll start the bidding at $1,000 to learn some more about this legendary weapon you claim to have.
Speaker: don't know if that's going to be enough to start out because that's, I mean, that's just not even like a very big percentage of the ah value of him. So I don't know. I think you need to go a little bit higher on that first bid.
Speaker: What? I just saw that the the the the Glock of Dionysus over there sold for 2,000. You're telling me that 1,000 will get me anything?
Speaker: Oh, you will not even begin to start to know these special features unless you start a at 10,000.
Speaker: 10,000. You see someone else comes over. It's like a real big buff dude with just like no shirt, body paint, like just giant barbells that are just pierced through his nipples.
Speaker: um He comes over and goes, that scythe looks teensy weensy. I want to break it just so you guys can't have it. 2,000. And you just see 2,000 sets up on the on the board, and the the the couple just looks just absolutely appalled that this very gruesome looking like buff dude just outbid them.
Speaker: And they go, oh but will you tell him what the features are? He gave you to two. i said 10,000 is the minimum.
Speaker: All right. Roll manipulate somebody because you do have a crowd showing up now. Probably like I'd say about six, six to ten people are kind of like something like you probably have like about a half a dozen. Other people are kind of like just kind of phasing in and out as the conversation comes Shit. Oh, no. You got a five. Experience point. Can I help out? Even if you roll a help out, you can't bump her up to a seven.
Speaker: Sure, I'll do that. What shall I No, you can't. You can't do that because you can only give her a plus one and you should only give her a six. Right, I forgot. You know what? If you want to roll a help out anyway, I think it'd be funny just that like... Sure. You know what? Tell me first. how you help I'm not there. I hope I can. great ah ah Rock, tell me how you help first. And actually, I think it'd be funny if Bill does see that. you see There screams all over the place. You start screaming?
Speaker: No, like Bill starts screaming all over like the place to help out. Yeah, what do you what do you do? How do you help to show that you're a legendary weapon? also penetrate this man's mind. You don't want to break me. You need me in your life.
Speaker: Okay. You know what? What? How about this? I will have you also roll and manipulate someone and then factor it it into how it bumps up to the help out action for gravy.
Speaker: If you roll a 10 or higher, you'll give her a um a plus one with an extra benefit. And if you roll a seven and nine, you'll just get the plus one. OK. Go ahead.
Speaker: your mom or ah ro You can roll charm for this one because you're talking directly to the guy's brain. It's a nine. That's a nine. So I'm going to say like you see that the the buff guy is kind of like on the fence. He has his phone out. He's kind of swiping a little bit. He looks like um he pulls out his giant glasses and puts them on to read his phone. and You can see in the reflection of the glasses.
Speaker: I guess you can't. don't know if you have eyeballs. uh bill uh how do you help out it's like you've already made several bids other people have come through to to bid for you but it's ah not as crowded as what you see over there and you can see that they're only up to 2 000 and it looks like gravy is really trying to sell this thing you can try to help if you like you are a magic man and you are very convincing um Am I still holding the gun? you saw the lady sold. Well, technically, they don't get the weapon until like everything shuts down. But she got the ticket that says she has it. But yes, you technically still have the gun.
Speaker: It's going to say, could we like could this be happening while the lady like shoots the gun off and. Oh, yeah. it Everybody. I'd say so. Yeah, actually, I think that's fair to say this is happening simultaneously. Sure.
Speaker: So what do you help out? Yes, usually that she shot the guy. I don't know. You know what? Actually, i don't know i I'll tell you what, if you roll just a straight help out roll, if you get a seven or higher, I'll say yes, the gunshot somehow helps.
Speaker: But if it does if you fail, then it actually hurts. All right, you got an eight. so yeah You know what? Yeah, the the gunshots fire out, ah and the everybody wins this except for the buff guy who looks over and tilts his glasses down and sees this woman firing a gun off, and everybody starts to clap, and he goes, well, that's terrifying. Yeah.
Speaker: A woman with a gun? That's unheard of where I come from. oh um And he tips up and he goes, fine, $10,000 to learn more about the scythe. And he taps some buttons on his phone and the screen lights up and you see 10,000 euros is currently up.
Speaker: And you see that the guy and the girl are just like devastated because they look like they don't have that kind of money. um And she goes, now tell me more about this scythe you got.
Speaker: She
Speaker: in her ah well, is she is rock able to answer her in her mind if she asks him a question? Sure. That's up to him. Talk to me, player. yeah So i am I'm wondering which one should we should we just cut this guy's head off? He's kind of annoying.
Speaker: Nah, let's take his money. That's way better.
Speaker: But I feel like these guys would be like really funny to watch them like yield you. You know what I mean? Because like, look at them. They're just like, they're kind of cute. And this guy's obnoxious. And these guys are like, like either way, we're going to get you back and then we could sell it to this guy. Although this guy's kind of obnoxious. So let's just cut his head off.
Speaker: and I think that's not that good by like cutting a Cutting an on set of is not really a good option to anything. Except if they're evil. Okay, but like can I pretend that you have like these crazy buttons and we can just like shoot lasers out of you or something?
Speaker: You can press buttons and I'll, I guess, shoot some thoughts into his brain or like make some noises. Okay, can you vibrate?
Speaker: I can certainly vibrate. Okay, I an idea. Everyone's favorite feature. The vibrating button.
Speaker: Everybody's favorite feature that site. Oh no, I have idea. Okay, what? I can press on this button and you see a button glow up and I can extend.
Speaker: Okay, I remember. Okay, I have an idea. Like a bigger scythe? Did you get the extender? You can extend your shaft. Yeah, it's okay.
Speaker: All right, so tell me what you say to this guy. is He's like, I'm waiting. What are you? Yeah, I paid the 10,000. Sorry, I was speaking to the weapon because you know what? This thing is sentient. It can speak to you in your mind. any Anyone that holds it. I'm sentient. Oh, no.
Speaker: then you see he like like picks up like a big, what looks like kind of a Bowie knife, ah like just off his back. And just like, he goes, I talk to my weapons too. He goes, what's that, baby? Yeah, I want to get you a friend. And he puts it on his back. He all right, tell me more.
Speaker: If I push this button, you can extend the shaft. Oh, God, that's awesome. Show me. She pushes like this red button on the handle.
Speaker: It looks like a ruby. all right. um Rock, can you actually extend further than what you are right now? Yes, I was like thinking about like which like new benefit I want to choose from a weapon. And I thought there's one called Reach at another range. And I thought that would be just a fun idea that I can just extend.
Speaker: So you just like use that rebar to give yourself more length? Right. Okay. So he just gets even longer, like taller than her. And he goes, oh, dang, I'll be like the goddamn Grim Reaper with that thing. Holy shit, that sap is huge.
Speaker: je Then if you push this button and then can she put, uh, like, um
Speaker: Can she like use magic, like oh maybe like do hex or something? To do what? ah Target breaks something precious or important. um So it says that I could break something precious or important with my magic. And she just wants to like shoot like...
Speaker: like, I don't know, something near them that can blow up or break or something, but just like press a button, shoot like a laser out of the top part with her magic and just like break like a statue or something. Hmm.
Speaker: Okay. um Yeah, I'd say roll plus weird to use magic and then see what shakes out. Okay.
Speaker: I dig it. I dig it. That's a nine. That's good. hu Now, Rock, you could help out in this situation to try to make it a 10. So there's no complications. I'll try to vibrate and help out.
Speaker: You're going to try to vibrate to help out. To really give it to show. Okay, this will just be a straight help out roll for roll for vibration. Rolling by vibration.
Speaker: Yeah, this will just be, I think, a cool roll. It's vibrating is cool. well You rolled a six. I'm not really vibrating. I'm trying to vibrate, but I'm vibrating. I'm going to say you didn't you just didn't help. I'm not going to add any extra detriment. You just didn't help at all. Right. um ah So, yeah, I would say...
Speaker: um wait I'd say, we'll just call it, like, it's just a quick fleeting thing since you got a mix success, but that's all you need. So it just fires off a quick little pew, and it just fires up to the to a chandelier instead of, like, at a statue.
Speaker: And just the chandelier just, like, partially turns to ash and just, like, starts to, like, crumble, showering everybody with, like, a bunch of, like, just crumb. And everybody goes, wow! And they all start clapping because they're just obsessed with, like, what all these weapons do.
Speaker: um And you see the little couple goes... Oh, darling. And he goes, yes, yes, yeah, fine. 22,000 euros for the scythe.
Speaker: And the big guy's like, huh. All you want to play ball? 30,000 for the scythe. um And they just look really dejected all of a sudden. They're like, oh.
Speaker: And yeah the woman just like her face is like real plastered. Like she doesn't have a whole lot of emotion in her skin or in her face. She's like, oh, and the guy's like, fine. 30,001 euro.
Speaker: so take it off You see the big guy just has a big smile on his face. He looks like he's about to offer again. She points quickly to the couple and hits sold.
Speaker: and you see a ticket prints out and they rip it and he goes, and the woman, all of a sudden her face just like softens and she has a big smile on face. She goes, Oh yes, finally. ah i knew good things would happen. And I am going to use these last five seconds before my face mutates to thank you so much.
Speaker: um um um And the guy, the the big guy's like, you did that on purpose, you bikini clad jerk.
Speaker: I was about to give you- What on purpose? I was going a bit higher. I was going to give you more money. Well, you know what I said about the weapon being sentient?
Speaker: He wanted to go to them, so he chose them, not me. You know what? That's actually fair. my My knife sometimes tells me that she wants to hang out with other people and we have an open relationship that way. So you know what? Actually, I'm not angry. I'm sorry. You're right. I forgot you said it was sentient.
Speaker: um All right, fine. ah All right. Do you have anything else I could do? You know what? What'd you say? Have a good day as he walks by.
Speaker: He looks behind himself. hm Who said that? Who's talking to me? See, I told you he was sentient. And the that' the short man just like, well, this will come in handy as sometimes um we two like an open relationship, don't we, darling? And they just kind of start to laugh between the two of them.
Speaker: She reaches over and whispers, he vibrates too. And the guy goes, oh, that's excellent for me.
Speaker: And they they skip away, spending pretty much all of their money on that one weapon. And you have made you got 30,000 on the 30,001 on the books. And so you make 10 percent of 30,000, which is 3000 euros for your own personal account.
Speaker: So nice work. She sends it to Bill. She sends it all to Bill. Yeah. it's But you get a name. I said this guy is crazy. We're going to sell you again. and Shut up.
Speaker: Yeah, this guy's trying to at this point, the guy's trying to give you more money and you get a notification on your thing as he keeps trying to give you tips and you give it back. That 3000 euros just pops into your account and it from gravy.
Speaker: I don't notice that it's from gravy. I just send it back. I assume it's from that random. eye Yeah. Yeah. that's back to crazy yeah And I say stop trying to tip me. But I wasn't.
Speaker: You sent me $3,000. Do this crazy. Oh, three. set a What you want, mate? he He just throws his hands up in the air and walks away. He's like, I'm just can't give money away these days.
Speaker: just You want me? You want, mate? um So gravy, you get your money sent back to you from Bill. she And I block her and I block her.
Speaker: you I thought he made a new account. yeah it's got don't know who i know i know a gravy with an IE. I don't know an ah i don't know ah why You saw a gravy with a Y came through? Yeah. don't know who the hell that is. ah All right.
Speaker: And, Rock, you've made no money because you didn't sell anything. No. I will get my money later. Somehow. Fair. From the couple.
Speaker: That's true. was only on an hourly basis. up Bill, do is there anything else that you would like to sell?
Speaker: No, she made you made a couple hundred euros off of your commissions and you're done for the day. Yeah, I thought that wasn't enough. thought that was a lot of money. Sure. That's fair. Hey, listen, if you don't want to, that's totally fine.
Speaker: The tickets are printed out. So you sold three guns. You sold a what was it? The AR-15 of Poseidon, the AK-47 of Zeus and the Glock of Dionysus.
Speaker: um Yeah. and i So actually, people still have people can still bid on those other two guns, though. So um do you do you feel that other people saw those bids and tried to outbid that guy who bid on the two larger guns?
Speaker: Honestly, i don't think Bill cares. He got his money. He's leaving. Well, once those get locked in, because you have to declare when that's over, you also get those commissions. So if he's already got 200 bucks, man, he's good. He's like, i mean, well you'll still get you'll get at least ah a little bit more money once he's closed out. So um at the least say I tell everyone there who's he's working. I'm like, right, you guys sort this out between yourselves.
Speaker: You saw somebody else who's working there. ah He cut out there, Adam. I'm sorry. i No, it's OK. You said you asked someone else who's working there to do it. Oh, not necessarily anybody who's working there, but anybody who's looking at the ah he's looking at the weapons.
Speaker: Oh, just somebody who's shopping, just tell them to sort it out themselves. It was like, oh, wow, it aka looks interesting. And I just I just go, like all right, guys, yeah, just sort this out between yourselves. I'm out. My shift's over.
Speaker: All right, ah Rock, just for funsies, even though you're not there, I just want to see. ah Could you roll for me a D20? Mm hmm. Just since like he just like you guys sort this going to do my own thing. You're all the three, three more people have bid on that on each of those things since Bill has walked away.
Speaker: um And both of them, I think, are at eighteen hundred dollars, if I remember right about now. um So, Brock, I'm going to let you decide. You tell me how much money you think um the AK-47 of Zeus got sold for.
Speaker: a reasonable number based on the the donation that it has right now or the the the bid that it has. Zeus starts with a C and C is the last alphabet in Latinic alphabet.
Speaker: And how many letters does alphabet have? 26. 26. twenty six So that's $2,600. 2,600 Wangs that electronic payment.
Speaker: sells for so bill you get ten percent of twenty six hundred for i send her back it blocks you from sending it back it's a one way it's a one way like electronic payment it It says it'll take five to seven business days to refund that money back to the organization.
Speaker: um All right. And Gravy, for the... for the The ah what was it? The what I just said, not the AK-47 of Zeus, but the AR-15 of Poseidon. ah Three more people have bid bumping it up.
Speaker: ah What is what is a reasonable number that you think that that sells for to outbid that guy who tried to buy it earlier or that he also comes back and rebids? It was eighteen hundred. OK, I would say fifty five hundred.
Speaker: 5,500. You know what? I bet you that guy probably came back when he saw that he lost the other one and bid on that one. So 5,500. fifty five hundred so Bill, you also get of what? $550. I'm retired. retired now. You're retired. Yeah.
Speaker: which i believe was what five hundred and fifty dollars retired i'm retired now you're retired um So you get a bunch of money and then a couple hours pass. um ah gravy bill Gravy and Rock, have you sold anything else? So Rock, you're sold until the battle starts and then you can you can essentially leave and leave those guys mind dry. um But you're not with them yet. They just get a ticket that they cash in once they go to the arena.
Speaker: So you're still there. but um But it shows that you've been sold. um So do you guys want to sell anything else to try to make any extra scratch before we wrap up the. was going to she's selling pictures of herself with people. Yeah.
Speaker: And like yeah when you sell pictures of of yourself with other people, they go, oh, can I hold the scythe? I want to look cool. and they hold the I mean, he's already gone with its new owners, but I'll take a picture with you.
Speaker: He's still there. makes aress Right. Oh, he's still there. Oh, he's still there. They just have a ticket to cash in later, but he's still with you until they cash in the ticket at the arena. Oh, gotcha. ah Oh, yeah, absolutely. You can take pictures with him.
Speaker: um But that's 10 euros. All right. 10 euros per picture. Yes. OK. You know, how about this? Rock, how about um you roll a D 100 for how many people actually came and bought a picture?
Speaker: um to with you and with Randy. 57 people got in line when this bikini-clad Rambo woman with a scythe opened up a line for pictures. And so she has sold one weapon all day for €30,001 and you guys together sold 57...
Speaker: and you guys together sold fifty seven ah 57 pictures at 10 euros each. So you made 570 euros. yeah Yeah. She sends it to Bill.
Speaker: Send it back.
Speaker: ah I block her again. Send me free money. I sent you half. That's good. ah Yeah, I'd say, you know what? We'll say we'll say ah somebody gave a kindly donation of 570 euros as a tip on top of his 10 euro picture for the site.
Speaker: And the guy goes, you know what? I swear if that site were real, I would want to give it some money. So just put it here so you can polish it up real good. This is the Improve the Scythe Fund. um So some guy gives you a $570 tip as well.
Speaker: Hell yeah. Yeah, yeah. He's he's ah he's a guy who has um a bunch of fancy rings, one of which says Super Bowl on it. um And he he just came because he wanted to get a picture with a cool scythe. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. and he said She sends half of what she won from commission, or what she got from commission, and then like the $570 to Rock. Okay. So, Rock, you've made double that, then. You've made 1,640 euros, I believe, if I mathed properly.
Speaker: um i mean, it would be... No, not 1,600. Not 1,600. $1,100.
Speaker: Wait, now I'm questioning my own math. How dare you make me question my own math? Hang on a second. Listen here, listeners. I listen. Shut up. Quit it. This is the math episode. It's 1140 is what I meant to say not It's 1140, 1740. My brain mathed the wrong two numbers together when I was looking at it. 1140 is what I meant to say. Don't at me, okay? Shut up.
Speaker: I'm just human, y'all. Um... So ah you've made a nice little sum of money. And the guy who gives you that tip says, hi, my name is Gronk and I'm a famous football player from the Americas.
Speaker: And I changed my name to just Gronk. And I'm a really big fan of what you guys do. I saw you on the news earlier. And um if you guys need anything when you're back in the States, just give me a call.
Speaker: And um he offers out his hand to you, Gravy, to put his phone number in your hand. So you have it. Okay. So he holds your hand. he goes She pulls out her toy phone and acts like she adds it to it, too.
Speaker: Ah, yes, a woman bit of culture, I see. Yes, I too have purchased a phone like that. That is very humorous. um But anyway, i will I would like to be a benefactor for you back in the States. So and if you ever need a little extra something something or some social sway, just give give your guy Gronk a call and I'll help you out.
Speaker: Sure. you back Send that shit back. it' so that shit back uh he walks over to you as well bill because he recognized you from the news because you talked about oculus and sierra he says hey big fan love your work uh i'd like to offer you my services i was just talking to your friend over there ah i don't need any i don't need a hand job bro a hand job no no no it'd be a grunt job ah People would get gronk. I a gronk job either. i have i have enough jobs.
Speaker: No, really, my job is to gronk you. So you tell me when you need gronk and I'll gronk it up. what Wait, are you a
Speaker: What? I'm a football player, but like I'm very famous um from the American sports team of the one that you know. don't watch soccer. Yeah, that's right. I'm a soccer player.
Speaker: So, you know, I used to play football, but i i now I play soccer. I play European football. What? What?
Speaker: ah Adrian just said in the chat, fun fact, Gronk is one of the most famous German famous german YouTubers, but it's spelled without the H at the end. so
Speaker: Yeah, I also have my own AI that you can use to ask questions. I knew you were going there. so um i You don't have to use it.
Speaker: You don't have to use it. on this guy You're going to roll kick some ass on Gronk. jez Actually, I would love if you rolled kicks of ass on Gronk.
Speaker: I don't want to roll kicks of ass on Gronk. I want to cast a spell on Gronk. What do you want to cast on Gronk? I want to use magic, and I want to put up a wall. Just in front of you? Yeah, I'm not even kidding. Can I do that?
Speaker: Absolutely. I'm not even going to have you roll for it. I just think that you just make a wall of ice in front of you. Adam, Adam. What? Come back. Please come back to the... Please plug in the ethernet cable. My Ethernet is plugged in, guys. It's so bad. You have to edit that. You cannot not edit that. I can hear him totally fine. I'll edit if he needs I think it's you guys. I think I'm fine. It's definitely not. are fine. live like next door to you, effectively. okay so Well, run your Ethernet cord over to my house so I can have it. You're right. I'm going to really long one. Yeah, you yeah come on, you just made so many blue bucks. You can afford it. Help me out.
Speaker: Anyway, and my weird way you rolled 11 anyway, so you put up a wall and that wall is ah it's a wall of ice, I assume. right I want to make it wrap around the guy oh you trap a labyrinth in like make it so that he, you know, gets it's like a maze that he's stuck in for a little bit. And that way he just leaves me the fuck alone.
Speaker: That's fair. And you can't hear him through the maze walls because when something's really cold, it doesn't let sound come through. Well, no, yeah I can still hear him, but I just walk away. But he's just like very muffled. It sounds like a guy who has a shitty Internet when he tries to talk to you. Yeah, he's a like that. Yeah. Because we're robotic. Yeah.
Speaker: You guys just cannot be saved. um OK, then I'm going to say ah that. Yeah, he just gets lost for a couple hours as everybody files out ah and he's just stuck in there when they close the doors.
Speaker: I wouldn't say hours like, you know, I mean, it's ice. I mean, unless you drop the spell, it's going to take a lot of milk. Well, no, it's you know, it's not it's ah it's it's like a.
Speaker: It's not like that difficult of a labyrinth. You know, it's like it's for him. It's like on the you know, like we get like a like a maze on like a like a cereal box. Kids menu at a restaurant, you know, that kind of maze.
Speaker: Yeah. You hear me like, I'm really bad at these. And he kind tries to tackle himself through the wall because that's what he's you know, he's a big boy. um So he says, please take my money. You don't have to use my ai It's so cold in here.
Speaker: And then he dies. it's it's Yeah, he dies. you And then you hear you see a bunch of sparks through the ice.
Speaker: And it turns out he was an AI the whole time. He was just a robot. Thank God he killed him. You killed the AI. Real Gronkowski would wouldn't be caught dead at this event. Yeah.
Speaker: He's too busy doing commercials for, I don't know, Campbell's chicken noodle soup in America. um So which would have melted that ice right away.
Speaker: Did I just miss the joke or something like because this? This was like a real person that you're referencing or. Yeah. Rob Gronkowski. He was a famous football player. It goes by Gronk.
Speaker: Somebody with his last name followed me on Twitter or really, really, no, yeah, on Twitter really, really, really long time ago when I was so active on Twitter. And I thought it was him. And I was like, holy shit, Gronk followed me because it was somebody with like, like I don't know, like 4 million followers or some shit. um And I thought it was Rob Gronkowski, but it was some other guy named Gronkowski. And I was pretty sad about it because i thought...
Speaker: ah But Ron Killings, Ron Killings, R-Truth follows me on Blue Sky. And that is one of my favorite things that's ever happened to me. Oh, fuck. That's awesome. R-Truth, the wrestler, Ron Killings follows me on Blue Sky.
Speaker: What's Blue Sky again? Blue Sky is like woke Twitter. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, um so you guys make your money. ah The place closes down.
Speaker: And as you walk out, you see a guy in a black trench coat is standing at the entrance with a sign that says your names on it, like he's standing at the airport. Does he have pants on underneath the trench coat?
Speaker: Yes, he does have pants on underneath the trench coat. Well, it looks like he has pants. you might be wearing chaps. You can only see some of the pant legs.
Speaker: All right, I'll approach him anyways. Then he goes, you must be built. ah Yeah, Bill, are you wearing pants under there?
Speaker: He flashes you. He opens up. oh No, no, no. No, but when you know, he flashes you all of his wares. He has wares in his jacket um and he has camouflage pants on, which is why you couldn't see it right away.
Speaker: Um, thank God. And then he closes his jacket and he goes, yeah, I'm wearing pants. Quit it, dude.
Speaker: Anyway, you're Bill.
Speaker: Yeah, Bill. And then where's, where's your, ah yeah, yes, there she is. Do you want a long jacket, ma'am? I can give you a long jacket. She doesn't.
Speaker: What? I've already changed. She doesn't need anything from you, brother. Oh, you must be wearing camouflage. Shit. Okay, damn. Wow. You guys are good. You guys are good. Rock, are you still a Are you going to stay a scythe the whole time, buddy?
Speaker: Right now, I'm still a scythe, I think. Do you want to talk to me not as a scythe, though? Don't answer that. You don't need to talk to him as a scythe. What do you want from me? You're like his attorney. You don't have to answer that.
Speaker: yes I'm still supposed to be sold. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Don't tell him that. Don't tell him that. and He pulls out a notebook and starts writing. Yes. science if you Look at this. look at this see All right. We can't trust this guy. Let's go.
Speaker: No, you can trust me. I'm actually here to offer you a place in our tournament. I know I could. I clicked a client of the side quest. Oh, damn.
Speaker: ah Unless you guys want to use my non-existent forms in a press accept. Oh, God. Oh, no, there's a time. I have my name on it, too.
Speaker: Listen, you don't have to take advantage of the side quest, but just everyone knows that you guys are kick ass warriors. Now you guys work through Oculus. Word is spread. OK, and so I run the Aliens Arena Battle Royale and you guys could make a lot of money if you win.
Speaker: The what? The Aliens Arena Battle Royale.
Speaker: Why do you think I'd be interested in that? Because you guys are such great warriors. And you can make a lot of money. I think it's a and think that's a microaggression, guys.
Speaker: Huh? That's a microaggression, bro. A microtransaction? No, an aggression. Microaggression. I don't know what that means. Like I punched you like light? No, you you said aliens.
Speaker: Well, no, it's the... No, yeah that's what it's called.
Speaker: It's a L L I a N C aliens. Okay. It's the aliens arena. No, not for aliens. It's just what it's called. I think maybe aliens put it there or something. I don't know.
Speaker: I think that's the German word for aliens. I'm not from around here. I think so. Yeah, I'm from Argentina. Hmm. ah
Speaker: OK. People can be from other places. You know, I've never been an Argentinian person on the podcast before. I just want to be inclusive. is there person here Fair enough. Yeah,
Speaker: yeah like I'm from Argentina. I'm just I'm touristing here for International Accent Day week. I love it here. I also help run the arena. You sound like you're from America. That's all I'm saying.
Speaker: Because it's International Accent Day week and so I'm trying something out. OK. I might sound different next time you talk to me in a different place. okay All right. All right. You know, Adam's not good at, you know, Latin accents yet. So he's still working on it.
Speaker: Yeah, we don't need to We don't need you to practice that right now either. Exactly. So just this is what I'm doing. Yeah.
Speaker: We're woke over here. So let's let's not go to sleep, guys. Anyway, you don't have to. I just want to put it out there. The arena opens up at 8 p.m. German o'clock.
Speaker: If you guys want to go check it out, it's just big, badass digital arena. And ah everything is just superimposed inside. It's all like CGI, kinda.
Speaker: But it'll feel real to you. No one gets hurt. I mean you'll get hurt a little bit. And it's essentially a kill-with-style arena, where if you fight the monsters and you kill them cooler than other people do, the crowd votes for you when you get onto the next round. And then you can win the $10,000 Euro prize if you win first place. $6,000 on second, $3,000 on third. Either way, not too bad.
Speaker: I don't know what I'll be using the money on, but I want that money. I mean, it's up to you. And, you know, I'm just saying, I know what you guys did, where, you know, you sold yourself and you're not going to actually. No, you don't know that. Oh, I know everything.
Speaker: I can't tell you why yet, but I know. Can i see your notebook? Yeah, dude. you check down I freeze the notebook and then shatter it.
Speaker: Ah, now I don't know anything anymore. That's right. Ah! Why was I talking to you?
Speaker: You were giving us one million dollars. Oh, shit, really? Can you write that in my notebook so I i know that? No, I can't, because destroyed it, but... Oh, do you have, like, a slip of paper or a sticky note or maybe, like, up the back of a napkin?
Speaker: Or a receipt? me write it on your hand. Oh, that's a cool idea. Yeah, yeah, Here, go for it. Yeah, this guy... Six trillion dollars. Trillion? I don't have that kind of money. You better buy one week from now.
Speaker: And then write the date. That's one week from now. All right. I can get you. i can get you 500,000 American dollars now. Deal. We'll just take that. i Fine. Fine. Well, you know what? Then mission accomplished. I did what I came to Germany to do.
Speaker: um And sends $500,000 each American. um You're rich. This is so confusing. i What do you mean? You convinced him.
Speaker: yeah You did it. What do you mean? ah He says, well, that's all my money and my life savings, and um I'm broke now, so I guess I live in Germany forever. perfect All right, well.
Speaker: I mean, you can look. I gotta go get paid minimum wage to do my Aliens Arena job, so I'll see you guys later. um He walks away and you guys all made 500,000 American dollars. um I sent it back to him. You it back to him.
Speaker: You actually send it back to him. I don't. I keep it because I didn't like that guy. All right. Well, well, then listen, you guys are free. The world is your oyster. Side quest over you. Side quest begins because he signed us up for it.
Speaker: Oh, that's true. You did sign us up for it. Rock just clicked accept. All right. Well, so you guys are now signed up to join in the Aliens Arena tournament, and you have already made way more than what the winnings offer for said tournament.
Speaker: And this is not how I thought this was going to go. So now I have to think about what will happen in the next episode. So thank you thanks. Thanks, guys, for all of that. Hey, guys, listeners, make sure to check out David's social security number um no on our... He's lying. He's lying. It's the beginning of this episode.
Speaker: He's lying. yeah Yeah. it's ah I edited it out. But if you go behind the paywall at Kofi.com slash fun installers. product may nine Only $5.99. Only $5.99. You can learn where David lives.
Speaker: um Per number. Yeah. $5.99 per digit of his address and per letter. If you all pitch in, you get David have a bunch of friends by the end of the week.
Speaker: There you go. So other than that, hey, guys, thanks for listening. And I'm just going to turn it over to David. David, do you have any parting words before we sign off? ah Yeah, I do, actually.
Speaker: Go for it. um Whatever Adam said about my i address or my credit card, social security number. it's all true. Roddy number. It's all soft false. It's all false.
Speaker: It's all false. It's all. Yeah, it was a load of baloney. A load of bologna? Yes. And yeah, don't give bologna to your cats or whatever. So I should probably send this money back to you that I already got out of your account?
Speaker: If you want, yeah. Okay. ah But I think the biggest lesson we took away from here today is don't give bologna to your cats. I think that's a valuable lesson. Is it bologna or salami?
Speaker: Well, neither of them are good. Why? i mean, I don't eat them as a... as That's not true. I eat slimy all the time, but... Beloni is full of crap yeah global Don't feed your cats, guys. Don't feed your cats.
Speaker: um Thanks for listening. Please do feed your cats. Don't feed your cats. You're here to hear first. David's advice. Don't feed your cats. Take care of your mind and your heart. Take care of each other. And again, do not feed your cats. No, feed your cats. Cute kitty, kitty, cat, cat, kitty, cat, cat. Feed your cats. Good lunch for
Speaker: Kitty cat cat kitty cat cat, kitty cat cat, kitty pat pat, kitty pat pat, a booby doop doop, a booby doop doop. Kitty kitty cat cat, kitty cat cat, kitty cat cat, kitty pat pat, pat pat, booby doop doop, a booby doop doop.
Speaker: Pizza, pizza, ice cream, ice cream, choo choo trains
Speaker: Pizza, pizza, ice cream, ice cream, choo choo trains
Speaker: Kitty cat cat kitty cat cat, bitty-bitty pat pat, bitty pat pat, a booby-dup-dup, a booby-dup-dup. Kitty kitty cat cat, kitty cat cat, a bitty-bitty pat pat, a bitty pat pat, a bitty pat pat, booby-dup-dup, booby-dup-dup.
Speaker: Garbanzo Beats!
Speaker: A witty witty wot wot wot A mini mini mat mat a mini mat mat A sleepy doop do Pitty pitty pat pat kitty cat cat Slitty slitty slug splot nitty nat nat A loopy doop doop
Speaker: A little little lat lat lat little lat lat Shibba dibba da da shibba da da doop doop
Speaker: Chibi-dibi-nup-nup, shibi-nup-nup, witty-witty-wat-bat liby-lup-nup.
Speaker: Chickpeas and green, chickpeas and green, chickpeas and green.
Speaker: Pizza, pizza, cream, ice cream, pizza trees.
