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I Don't Understand... Hair
39 Plays4 months ago
Is the mullet back? How do you start a business? How do you (I) cover your (my) receding hairline? Why is this naked man in my office? Thank you to the creative and kind @jennyglamazon owner of @tfosalon for helping me understand!
I Don’t Understand… Hair
(full episode out now!!)
#idontunderstand #podcast #hair #hairstylist #hairtutorial #haireducation #hairideas #hairtransformation #hairfashion #hairart #haircolorist #hairbrained #hairextensions #hairvideo #haircolour #hairlove #haircut #hairtrends #hairoftheday #hairjourney #hairdo #hairporn #business #businessowner #businesswoman #businessquotes #businessideas #businesscoach #businessideas #businessmotivation #TFOSALON
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Transcript
Hairstyle Tips for Round Faces
00:00:02
Speaker
My mom wants me to ask you what is good for a round-faced man. Face framing layers. It helps slim out the face. Oh.
Introduction to 'I Don't Understand' Podcast
00:00:12
Speaker
Hi, welcome to the I Don't Understand podcast. I'm Sam Fickman. Welcome to the I Don't Understand podcast, the new standard for masculinity. My name is Sam Fickman, the new standard for masculinity. Have you seen camera? Never.
00:00:29
Speaker
People are always like, and I don't like it, I couldn't understand it. I don't understand anything happening in this movie. I don't want to understand it, I love it. It's got good energy, that's all you need. I don't even understand what's going on.
Hollywood's Worst Hair
00:00:40
Speaker
Wait, who's this guy? Wait, which guy was that? Wait, who is that guy? Wait, who is this guy? She is the owner of TFO Salon, Jennifer LeGrop. Who has the worst hair in Hollywood? Sam. Machine Gun Kelly. What's wrong with it? Cause he's like straight,
Anime-Inspired Hairstyles
00:00:55
Speaker
broccoli. He's like straight haired broccoli.
00:00:57
Speaker
Do people ever come in and ask for, like, making me look like an anime? The Dragon Ball Z guy. That sounds cool, though. Hair is important. It's on our heads. It's what keeps us from God, if you think about it.
Sam Fickman's Name Misconceptions
00:01:09
Speaker
If I walked in with Bart Simpson photo, would you be able to make sense of that? Let's see what we can do here. I want my eye to be little triangles. There's just so many things in life I don't understand. I don't understand my own last name. Sounds a bit too much like Fox Men. What's going on with that? Fox Men.
00:01:27
Speaker
And kids in middle school figured that one out pretty quick. They go, your name's what? I go, Fickman. I got to say that name out loud. I tell people that name. it you know When it's your name, you have to tell people. And you go, Fickman. And they process it. You watch them process it. I go, F-I-C-K. And they're like, well, that sounds like fuck. And then I go, M-A-N. And they go, that sounds like a man. And I don't blame them. Life is hard enough. Why did that have to happen to me?
Navigating Medical Visits and Costs
00:01:51
Speaker
I don't understand what's going on in the doctor. I went to the doctor the other day, i't they they gave me too many rules. Before I went to the doctor, he goes, okay, but by the way, you're not allowed to ask him this or this, or it's gonna be more money. but This is a very specific engagement right now with the doctor. You're allowed to talk about this, but if you ask about this and this, it becomes a different conversation and that's more money. So I ended up not asking him anything and I still don't feel good. It was $537,000? That seems steep, I thought. That checks out.
00:02:24
Speaker
I don't understand where to put anything anymore. Okay, I have a drawer where I put all my bullshit. Does everybody have like that drawer where you put everything? You know about this drawer? You have a drawer like that? I have a drawer where I put everything.
00:02:36
Speaker
That drawer is full now. What am I gonna do? I'm losing my mind. I don't know where to put anything.
Frustration with Targeted Ads
00:02:44
Speaker
I don't understand my targeted ads online. I appreciate them. I like to be sold. Sell me. So I go to look for it because I want to buy this DVD and I see that it costs on Amazon 32.99. That's just way too much money. I can't afford that for a DVD. I shouldn't buy a DVD anyway. So nevermind, I'm not buying this.
00:03:03
Speaker
Good. So I go about my life and you know how these ads work. You're just going about your life and you'll see. Oh, that thing I looked up. Oh, there it is again. Oh, there's the holdovers again. Oh, OK. I click on it. It's more money. It's $35.99. It's more money than it was on Amazon, where I didn't want it because it was too expensive. I didn't like it where it was supposed to be for cheaper. And now it's now I'm in it somewhere else. oh Hey, we got it over here for more.
00:03:29
Speaker
Meanwhile, it's creepy. I stopped thinking about this. I made the decision I don't want to buy this, but the internet kept thinking about it for me if it was a good deal. Okay, the internet's hooking me up. That makes sense.
Time, Aging, and Life's Brevity
00:03:41
Speaker
But to hey, over here for more? It seems... Well, I'm not gonna buy it. Frankly, I'm not gonna buy it. I don't understand. I might be a robot. I keep failing capture.
00:03:52
Speaker
I don't understand time. why Why are we made to be aware of concepts like billions of years? We know that the world was created billions of years ago. We we know that billions of years can't happen. And to be alive for, we only get like 80. Maybe 80. Maybe 80. Who came up with this? I'm not happy. And have you been around old people? That's not good. we get we don't even We're not even good for that long.
00:04:15
Speaker
Why? If you understand that, please come on. Here's the premise
Podcast's Quest for Understanding
00:04:18
Speaker
of the podcast. I don't understand anything. Pudding, I don't understand what's going on with pudding. Sometimes it's creamy and sometimes it's plum. And I want to hood that shit in the trash. And if you understand any of these things, come on and explain them to me, because I'm open. I love when somebody understands something. If you understand time, if you understand where I should put things, come on and help me. I'm just the man asking for help.
00:04:42
Speaker
Humbly, my hat in my hand. Please help me. We're going to just do a little adjustment right here from your hat hair. Yes, there we go. In eighth grade, Jennifer was nice and cool about me wearing my shirt the whole time at a water park. And we've been very good
Shirts at Water Parks and Skin Protection
00:05:01
Speaker
friends ever since. You can trust a person like that. That's a lifelong friend. I'm going to wear this shirt. She nodded. She looked at me in the eyes. she that's fine Thank you. Jennifer, thank you. You might even have a photo of it. I have it. I have a photo. That photo? I do. Do you remember the eighth grade at the bar park? I wore this shirt and a lot of the fellas were like, hey, take it off. And I was like, hey, why? You want to see me? The shirt looks so bad. I'm a very firm believer in wearing a shirt when you swim.
00:05:29
Speaker
It's called a wicking shirt. You wear it, it's comfortable, and it's for, you don't want to get skin cancer. And that's really the only reason. There's no other real reason why you wear a shirt except for you want to protect your body from the sun. It's nothing else. It's nothing to do with any issues with your self-esteem. People think it's a body thing.
00:05:51
Speaker
so Every man should wear a shirt in the pool. It's normal. In fact, it's weird to take your shirt off. Trying to look at all that. You know, I feel like in the everyday rat race, it's good to just escape and do something for yourself that makes you feel amazing. Why are we always racing these rats? TFO has been called Wheelchair Accessible.
00:06:15
Speaker
And they take Walk-Ins as Christopher ever come in. Caroline C. calls it super easy and convenient to book. They're open Tuesday through Saturday. They won Best Hair Salon. Not Monday, not Sunday. Your hair got a, sorry about your hair those days. What's going on? Is it a Jesus thing for Sunday? Ryan D. calls them the best haircuts of his life.
00:06:37
Speaker
but but Wow. What is hair cutting? How do you do it? Compare it to something that I do. You know, geometry. No, compare it to something dumber. Jennifer has been called one of the elusive stylists that can really manage a curl. I would ask for your secret, but I don't feel like you should give it away. No, I won't. Come see me and find out. I can't manage a curl or anything in my life. You can. That's why you see me. How long did it take to perfect the curl?
00:07:01
Speaker
I feel like the day that I think I've perfected it is the day that I stopped growing. There's always going to be tips and tricks to learn. Oh, you are like a Giro dreams of sushi who like every day you get better. Yes. 100%. Yes. Do you ever get the sense that somebody doesn't want to talk or for your salon specifically, they're talking. Y'all are talking. What are the girls talking about these days? Everything. What's going on in the barbershop? You know, that's what happens at the salon stays at the salon. Give me a g glimpse. When did you first get into haircutting?
00:07:30
Speaker
when I realized I wasn't flexible enough to be a stripper. Was that what the original game plan was? You know, there's always chasing the money is what I felt like I wanted to do. And I honestly got into working for like the stock market. Do you remember that whole era? 1929 crash. That was huge. That was me. Oh, that was when you did it.
00:07:53
Speaker
started doing that but then I was just like this is not the right
Challenges of Opening a Salon Pre-COVID
00:07:56
Speaker
way to chase money like I need to enjoy my job like I wanted to be like Robin Hood and like steal from the rich and like give to the poor and I was like this is not the life I want what was the most stressful thing about that world the men that will be an ongoing theme Jennifer you own your own business I do. What's that like? It's exhausting. When did you start your own business? um We opened February 1st, 2020.
00:08:28
Speaker
the week before COVID. Literally I was open for six weeks and then I was shut down for like three months. That's really exactly what I imagined. Was that annoying? Yes, I had spent a year building it and like I was so excited I had like seven stylists and we were ready to just like conquer the world and then COVID hit and I came back with two people, me and one other person. You're sort of like Snow White and the seven stylists. Yes. That was dumb. That rug was just How do you build a customer base during COVID? You just sit up there and you wait. And if you just got one person that day, it was a good day. Yeah, hell yeah. It was cool as hell.
00:09:10
Speaker
So I, you know, just did what I could and ah I would do these little like kits where I would put like color and developer in a little bag and like clients would come pick it up. Were you ever worried that you would have to close right after opening grand opening grand closing kind of deal or were you just like, no, we're doing this? Oh, yeah. I think that's what separates me from like the percent. Yeah.
00:09:35
Speaker
It's like, it's sink or swim and it's always swim. There's nothing else. so you't That's awesome. What's it like to be a boss? Feels good. That's cool. Yeah. I mean, I love having my boss, but that's my specific situation. Many people out here don't. So it's cool that you are your own boss. Yeah. You have employees. That's right.
00:09:53
Speaker
What's the most believable way for an employee to say they're sick to get a sick day? To sound sick or to not sound sick? How sick do you have to sound to believably get a sick day out here? There's no sick days when you're a boss. No, for the employee I mean. Oh gosh. For did I work for you and I'm calling. Ring ring ring.
00:10:14
Speaker
Ring, ring, ring. Hi. Hey, Jennifer. What's up? I know I'm booked to do the haircuts from two to five today. My ass hurts really bad. I don't think I could come in. Do I have to get somebody to cover? Or do I just not come in? What's the vibe? Put a mask on. I'll see you in an hour. No, it's my ass. It's in my ass. OK. That's how the boss handles it. Are you worried the robots are going to start cutting hair?
00:10:45
Speaker
You know, I would employ one. Would you employ a robot? I would. I would employ a robot. Now, what if the robot got crazy with the scissors and went killing a rampage? Would that be bad for the company? Yeah, I'd say at that point I'd probably have to shut it down. Have you ever had to fire somebody? Yes, I have. What's that like? Devastating. How do you do it? Pretend you have to fire them in.
00:11:11
Speaker
Fire my ass. I deserve it. I've deleted your profile. You can no longer have access to any of your clients. You've deleted my profile? That's right. You're gone. That is a Philip K. Dick novel. I don't exist anymore.
00:11:23
Speaker
You've been deleted from the system. I've been deleted from there? Yeah. You know, you can teach talent, but if they are, you know, not like a team player, you know, they're not like, everyone has, there's chores that come with being a stylist, towels, bowls, sweeping. So if you don't want to be a team player, then it's not going to work. I want to sweep it. Because your mom don't work at the salon. Have you ever icked, you're not icked by hair, all that hair on the ground? No, it doesn't bother me. You see money, when that hair is falling, you just see money on the floor, don't you? Yeah, I do. When you're holding those scissors, what's going through your mind? Don't cut your finger. Don't cut your finger. Yeah. Now, if you make a mistake and you cover it, is that a thing you're like, they won't know.
00:12:10
Speaker
but No! God, no! Well, I wouldn't. Well... I mean, I would. Don't do it. No mistakes are allowed. It doesn't matter how many years I've been doing hair, I always cross-check my own work. How do they teach you to cut hair? With mannequins. Really? Yeah. We get mannequins in school. Oh, okay. So you weren't... So, okay, you went to the school for it. Yeah, it's because you technically can't cut hair without a license, so... You can do whatever you want, really. You get scissors. But I never did.
00:12:36
Speaker
Hmm. Are you cutting hair illegal? She's doing illegal haircuts. We got her, folks. That's a felony! He's got a gun! Get your scissors and your shampoo and reach for the blue juice. What is that blue stuff? Is that you? That blue stuff. Is that still happening? Barbers have that blue shit that they put their combs in? Barberside? Of course it is. What is that? That's stuff that disinfect your tools. Why is it blue? You know,
00:13:05
Speaker
I don't know. Should I drink it? um Only if you don't value your life. I guess I won't drink it. Are there training scissors you start with or is it like full-on scissor sharp? Are people cutting their fingers? Yeah. How do you cut your fingers? but Yeah, I literally have cuts on my finger. from But as a good haircut, what are they called? Stylist haircut or hair cutter?
00:13:34
Speaker
Stylus, yes. As a good stylus, you have cuts on your fingers. That's like market-afraid. That's right. I had one stylist. She was working on a mannequin and she dropped her shears and she thought like, oh, let me catch it. So she catchs she catches it on her legs and it just dived right in there and she had to go to the emergency room.
00:13:52
Speaker
Wait, that's the scariest story I've ever heard. What are you talking about? The scissors went where? Into her thigh. Oh, into her thigh? Because, you know, like, when you drop something and you think that you want to, you know, catch it really quick. Yeah. So she dropped her shears when she was, and I guess her instinct was to yeah catch it so it doesn't hit the floor. humans They're very expensive. Are they? Yeah. I'm interested. I want you to guess. Tell me what you think a pair of shears cost. Yeah, when we say shears, you mean scissors, scissors, scissors. We don't call them scissors. Why not? But okay.
00:14:22
Speaker
Cheers. Cheers. I want to ask. I'm on your territory here. I want to be respectful. Thank you. Cheers. Cheers. I think for a pair of shears. Okay. Um, ooh, it's going to probably be more than I think. so I'm going to say a hundred dollars.
00:14:44
Speaker
Wrong. yeah you ra Oh, wrong. Yeah, another guess. 500? Wrong. So I just recently purchased a new pair of shears and they were $1,800. How long does a pair of shears last? Do I not say pair of shears? How long do shears last? Well, so a lot of times who you purchase it from, theyll they give you like a sharpening, like contract. So they come and sharpen it whenever you need. So they they last you a long time.
00:15:13
Speaker
The pair, the shear gets, there's a specific guy who comes to like a pool guy. There's also a shear guy, yep. Is it like a samurai sword that you get your specific one and then like the old master comes to sharpen it? I don't know if that's what happens with samurai. Yep, he does. That's interesting, but everybody's hair cut with the shears and then you put it in that blue shit and then it cleans it. Okay, so you don't put your shoes in the blue shit. Shears don't go in the blue. No, you can like spray them with like other disinfectant.
00:15:41
Speaker
Oh, the shears got a special thing. Yeah, it's like combs and like brushes. You put that in the blue shit. Now, how often are you sharpening the shears? Depends on how often you're cutting. If you're a pretty, you know, consistent cutter, then, you know. How sharp are barter shears? They're sharp. They're super sharp. Have you ever cut your finger on the shears and then bled all over the patient?
00:16:07
Speaker
I don't understand what happened here on the night of ah June 12th, 2013. I took this photo, in and these are my feet. This is actually one of my feet. This is my foot in the past. And I did a reflection thing, and okay, yes, I was on mushrooms when I did this, but I was finding faces in this thing. But look, he has a real energy here, and he looks like he has like antlers that are my feet, looks like his chest, which has some energy, and then go up here, and look, there's little faces in here. I shouldn't have said I was on mushrooms when I discovered this, but It did happen to, i it helped me notice it. It certainly helped point it out. I'm still a little concerned. Do you ever, okay, give me some crazy stories. I gotta hear some crazy salon stories. There is some crazy salon stories we're talking about.
00:16:51
Speaker
What happened last night? What's going to happen the next night? You know. Is there a lot of gossip going on there? Lots of gossip. Is everyone hooking up with everyone simply? Literally. Simply everyone's hooking up with it? It's not that bad, really. No, we're not that cool. We're in Meyerland. Meyerland, next to the bagel shop. That's right. I have crazy stories, whether it's ah being in a brick and mortar business and the things that happen with ah owning a brick and mortar and seeing what happens in the outside world. Brick and mortar? Like, you know, like I have an actual like building that I work out of. So like the, you know, the locals.
00:17:21
Speaker
You know, that there was one time I came to work and some man dropped his pants and pooped right in front of my door. What? Oh, wait. Oh, no. OK, yeah. Yeah. So, you know, there's like when owning a business, you have to worry about the public as well. He know he pooped inside the establishment or outside of i that the establishment? And if it's outside of the establishment, is it yours to clean up or is it more of a call the landlord at that point?
00:17:46
Speaker
So we'll eat the landlords, but after they clean the shit up after, okay. Yeah. We are eating the landlord. Yes. I'm eating my landlord. I don't give a shit. I'm eating them. Yes. Yes. I'm eating them.
00:17:59
Speaker
But that's been
Unusual Salon Requests
00:18:00
Speaker
decided. When I'm going to eat him, we'll figure out once he handles whatever it needs to be handled. Yeah. So when we first opened, this is like in the beginning. So, you know, we also offer waxing. And so ah this gentleman came in and he wanted an eyebrow wax, which we would think no problems. My stylist ah go walks him into the room and he sits down on the table and she's like, I'll be right back.
00:18:27
Speaker
and she comes back into the room. This man is naked with what looks to be his own personal cocktail napkin that he has brought from his house laying right over his business. So she opens the door and she's like, oh, shuts it back and comes and gets me. So then she's explaining to me and I'm having to like comprehend the fact that there was a naked man in my wax room with A home brought in co- Like, where did you even get that cocktail napkin? Was he doing irony with the cocktail? Because it's it's covering, well, a word that's similar. Yes! Was he doing wordplay? Yeah, something. i You know, it's crazy. So I had to, like, open it. No, I think that's normal.
00:19:14
Speaker
The cocktail napkin! That's the crazy part. I literally opened up the door and I was like, why am I looking at your dick, buddy? yeah That's the illegal part. Yes. Police are called or? I shouldn't have looked at a penis today. No, nobody should have. So I was like, get off the table, put your clothes on, get out of here. And he literally was like, well, I thought I could add on a Brazilian. Get you and your cocktail napkin out of my salon, sir. Can you do a little magic trick and where he's like, you just banished.
00:19:41
Speaker
It's cocktail napkin. Look at him up with that word. Cock and tail? What was that about? What were they a thing of? It was on their mind. We got these napkins. I guess it was the drink first. This is delicious. Was there a demon in my foot? And a few things you understand stuff like this. DM me samficken at gmail dot.com. And doesn't this guy, it looks weird, right? It looks like a little penis up here. It looks very demonic, okay? It's very demonic.
00:20:07
Speaker
and the mushrooms didn't help. I had this lady come in at the end of the haircut, you know, normally you pay, but she just all of a sudden told me that she wasn't able to pay. And then she wanted to offer me a piece of paper in exchange that like she had drawn on and was like, this may be worth some money someday. So please, please have this piece of paper.
00:20:32
Speaker
So ah that was like, I was like, well, just please don't ever come back here again, because. You're crazy. You're crazy, and I prefer money. Or was she a genius? That paper doesn't pay my bills. And her name was Pablo Picasso. And here's actually that drawing, and it's just Guernica. You should have taken that. It's about the Spanish Civil War.
00:20:57
Speaker
Meanwhile, what's going on with that horse with the sword through its mouth? That's scary. I don't understand that. I don't understand Guernica. I love it, though. I love things I don't understand. I could look at Guernica all day. They got a horse with a sword in its mouth and a bowl that's half of a bowl coming out of a man. Who would come up with such a thing? Do I need to understand any of that? No. Do I enjoy looking at it? Yes. It's good to not understand. Stop trying to understand so much. But then again, the premise is I'm trying to understand.
00:21:28
Speaker
Don't listen to me. Are you offended as my hairstylist that I chose to wear a hat for my podcast persona brand? No, I'm here for the branding moment. You got a brand. you know I've pitched to you that your company could use your hair would look better on our floor. I like that.
00:21:43
Speaker
Sort of sexual. Actually, I love that. Why haven't you told me that before? I did tell you. We've been friends for a long time. I told it to you. Wait. During a haircut? Like, where's the follow up? I got three cameras on there right now. Where's the follow up? Where's the follow up? TFO, your hair, everyone likes that. Sam Fucksman. Where's the follow up? Why is that my last name? What are your thoughts on hair replacement surgery? Men who get surgically... What are your thoughts on hair replacement surgery? Yeah, your body or choice. I'm here for it. How does it look though? Are we judging these people? Or are we like... No. Do it.
00:22:12
Speaker
So the hair people, you don't care. Hair is hair. No, hair is hair. If you feel better doing it, do it. But what if it it's, they sometimes take the hair from your butt and put it on your head. Yeah. Is that gross for you to have? No. You don't mind that. Don't mind it. I've seen a lot worse. Do they warn you? Like, this is actually a hair from my butt. Watch out.
00:22:30
Speaker
You know, I would probably be like, challenge accepted, let's party. Okay, but they're not upfront about that. No, I would you? I would maybe feel guilty that I never told you. If this was, I would be like, she should probably know where this hair is coming from. But still would you? No, and I haven't yet.
00:22:48
Speaker
ah Can you always tell, are you a hair expert in the sense that you could tell what a guy's got to wig, he's got to toupee, he's got to tran-, whatever they do? Yeah. You could tell. Yeah. You got the eye for it? Yeah. You got the gift. Yeah. A lot of years. And so when you watch like something like the Golden Globes or um the news and look at our politicians and you see them and you say, this man spends a lot of time dying his hair. That's correct. Why are these like 60 year old guys always trying to look like a little boys?
00:23:14
Speaker
Yeah, you know, age gracefully, silver fox it, but again, your choice, your body, your choice. No, you know, it's going to be my choice in a second because I'm tired of seeing this dark hair on like 60, 70 year old man. Your body, my choice. Men.
00:23:31
Speaker
You're not fooling anyone. I remember when I was a little boy and I still want to look at it like that. Why? Psychologically, why? Psychologically, why? That's a good question. Let's unpack that. I would say that he's probably still rocking it natural. Natural? Yeah. So it's not so rare. Yeah. So I'm just being judgmental? Yeah. I think you have like some insecurity there that you need to work through. Oh.
00:23:55
Speaker
Ask her to explain why. Well, I guess she did. I'm gonna go gray one day and bald probably, and I'm gonna be fine with it, right? Yeah. Because that ah that's a good thing to do. a good Yeah. Yeah. But I'll make it easy for you. Thank you. yo I promise. but make I'll make the transition. I have um i've been told that you get your hair from your mother's father. Yes. And he's bald as hell. Yeah. you're It's gonna happen.
00:24:19
Speaker
And you're going to hold my hand through it? I will. I'm going to be a little scared. I know, but I'll walk you through it. I got some tips and tricks. Should I get the butt hair? I mean... Okay, we'll think about that. We'll think about it. We'll marinate on that. Let's shelf that. Which decade of the 20th century? We'll keep it there. Which decade had the best hairstyle? I mean, I love the 80s, but okay. Oh, that's controversial. Why? Well, because they all look insane.
00:24:46
Speaker
But think about it, it's 2025, right? How many of the pop culture references are we following now are from the 70s and the 80s? All the hair, the shag, the mullet, that did not start, it's back. It's back, so if I were to tell you some error in the 20th century, it's all a mimic of what was happening in the 80s. Is that because everything that's bad wins out in the end?
00:25:07
Speaker
A hundred percent. Cause like the mullet is not a good haircut. What? The mullet is so good. Oh, controversial. Oh, nevermind. I grew up, I'm racist. We grew up with Inky Breaky Heart. Who did that?
00:25:21
Speaker
Bullet. Don't break my heart, my icky, breaky heart. Billy Ray Cyrus, that's his name. You can tell my lips to tell my fingertips. What's the most common mistake a guy like me or any guy will make when they're trying to style themselves?
00:25:38
Speaker
over washing. I feel like guys like over wash and then their hair gets like really dry and it's like not easy to manage and that there's just like too much or like the latter of the two you don't wash enough and there's like too much build up so you're not able to like really like get it how you want it to be. And then I also think that guys should not fear blow dryers like. Guys should not. Fear blow dryers. Do not fear the blow dryer. Yeah it's blow dryer.
00:26:02
Speaker
What did I say? I don't know. I thought I went R rated there for a moment. Is there a saying that guys don't like blow dryers because there's like a feminine kind of thing about them? Yeah, I feel like it's like they think women should use blow dryers. But it's just hair. It's intimidated by them. Guys, is it gay to make your hair hot?
00:26:20
Speaker
um No, yes, I agree. I couldn't agree more. How do you hide a receding hairline and other than a hat? A show where you have a hat?
00:26:31
Speaker
ah The best way to hide a receding hairline is switch your part. If you throw the part the other way, you can hide it and give your other side a break so that way it's not as receding. How many times a week am I shampooing? Should I be? Twice. Twice a whole week? Twice a whole week. What about me? I'm doing it every day. We've already had this conversation. It doesn't depend on the hair. I told you, stop doing that. You're going to be thinning.
00:26:54
Speaker
I need to be thinning somewhere. But then on record, don't wash your hair that much, you're gonna thin. Twice as way less than I do it. If I'm doing it every day, that's like five have times less a week, so. I know, but those wonderful natural oils that are on your hair, like, you know. I'm a very greasy, sweaty man, though. I need to get rid of some of that shit. Something tells me that I don't believe that. No, I am greasy and sweaty. What are you doing?
00:27:15
Speaker
Existing, sometimes just breathing, I swear. But you know, your body naturally will produce the oil depending on how dry you make it. So if you're, you know, relieving it of all the oils is going to overproduce, compensate for how dry you make it from shampooing and every single it day. Shampooing dries it. Yes. And drying is bad. Yes. Because... because drying makes it more fragile, more split-endy, you know. What is it? What if it's split-end? I've heard of those. What is that? It's like, you know, where the cuticle starts to break and then it just like travels up and up and up and up. That's why you have to... What is a cuticle? You're a cuticle. What is one? Um, it's your hair strand. Oh. Yeah. What is hair?
00:27:55
Speaker
What is hair? Like literally, what is this shit? It's dead or something. Is it dead skin? What is this? No, it's not skin. Is it dead skin? That didn't happen? Dead skin? What is it? I don't know, it's just hair. That's a good question. Do you ever look at it and you're like, what am I touching?
00:28:10
Speaker
Oh God, no, but it holds all your secrets and I always say you can lie to anyone except for your mom and your hairstylist. I know your secrets. what's the but They'll come in and be like, I don't smoke cigarettes. You smell cigarettes. The second of my blow dryer hits your hair, it smells like nothing about a pack of marbles. yeah You smoke cigarettes. Have you ever had a chef ah get a haircut and you took his chef hat off and you saw a little rat underneath?
00:28:32
Speaker
ah No, thank God I have it. Well, that i would scare me. But I have seen a little head cheese, if you know what I mean. That's gross. What's the grossest shit you see in people's heads? What's the worst thing to do but right before getting a haircut? I guess that can really go many different ways. um The worst thing...
00:28:55
Speaker
I mean, some people show up dirty, but it doesn't really bother me. You don't get bothered by that. No, cause I'm going to wash you anyways. Yeah. So the worst thing would probably be like, no, there's something I can, I'll, I'll take, I love a challenge. You have butt hair at all. I'll do it. I'm a challenge. Yeah. You are a challenge. Do you think that? No, not at all. You're like in and out. You're so easy. With the hair. Yeah. What about as a person? You've known me for an eye on 20 something years. You are a challenge. Have you ever been mad at me before? No. Not once.
00:29:24
Speaker
No, like a little bad. What did I do? Baby pad. You want to talk about it? Yeah, go on. You want to talk about it? Sure, go ahead. yeah Yeah, I would love to. and well you
00:29:40
Speaker
are nope live in a twilight world no friends I'm disappointed in you.
00:29:50
Speaker
So you've never been mad at me before? And it'd be kind of this, where I'm like, that's pretty cool, a whole friendship, or you've never been mad at me. Walk me through starting a business. So it just starts with a dream. I honestly think that I was successful because I didn't believe in failing.
00:30:05
Speaker
Some people I think they get like choked up during the process and I just was like, I don't have any other choice. I'm a literally like, if I had an autobiography, it would literally be titled like, started from the bottom now I'm here. You know, like I didn't- Drake would sue your ass into oblivion. Well, at this point, there's no words that could, you know, really be said about Drake publicly. We like Drake here. Well, Kendrick, he was too mean to Drake. Not like us. What about those other weird allegations against him?
00:30:34
Speaker
Oh, well those I own. I don't know. You're going to stand beside, you're going to stand behind him. I've never met the man. You've never met Aubrey in my life. I've never partied with him. Never even been to Toronto. Speak on, how do you start your own business? All right. Well, first of all, it'd be better if I was a white man. Should I not say that?
00:30:54
Speaker
You could say it.
Starting a Business as a Woman
00:30:56
Speaker
Okay, perfect. But I am a white man and I'm going to cut it. Because I don't want any of us to get in trouble. Yeah. um So I personally struggled a lot with actually getting a loan from a bank because I didn't have collateral. I don't own a home. Like and my car was really my only collateral. It wasn't enough. So I was denied. Even though I had a business plan, I tell you, I had like a 35 page business plan. I went into seven different banks. They never even asked to look at it. They just completely denied me. It just wasn't enough. So I went and got a realtor, showed me the place. I went for it. I was able to get a loan from the landlord. ah They call it allowance. They just basically invest in your business for the payout. So I encourage anyone who's trying to start their own business, especially in a brick and mortar, you can ask your landlord that is negotiable for them to invest in your business and give you that allowance. So don't be afraid to ask it. And that's my biggest like advice. You can also get small business loans through things like square. Square is what now? Have you have you seen square? It's like a problem. Triangle, I've seen. yeah it's a Rectangle and circle.
00:32:03
Speaker
yeah square it's the processing system at most places like that you go to you see like when you check out yeah it's like that oh okay that system okay you know so they give you money they give you money a lot of these processing systems they will support your business there might be small ten thousand fifteen thousand but it makes a big difference And you pay the max, so sorry? Yeah, so as you like make transactions, they take money from the transactions. So they take a little off the top. Oh, OK. So it's nice. Yeah. It's like Shark Tank. It's like Shark Tank? What does that even mean? It's not the same at all. That was dumb. Am I dumb? She's talking about business. I could just talk about TV. That's all I know. I can only relate it to a TV show. That's a great episode. Oh, yeah, it's like Rocko's Modern Life. I don't understand.
00:32:51
Speaker
Do you have any more knowledge you would like to share about this industry? I mean, this is a very specific industry that you're an expert at. and Do you have any tips of the trader? Do you want to keep them on yourself because it's business? I feel like stick to your boundaries and make sure that you know like what you want from your like business, your experience, what the goal is, what your plans are. like I think that boundaries is something that I am learning the most, especially as we evolve each year. Like each year we, you know, try and do something different and do something better, like, you know, instead of just staying stagnant and everything like that. So anything in the industry, like, again, as soon as you stop, like, learning is when you stop growing. Yeah, for anyone who's trying to open up your own business, the best advice I can give you is, as cheesy as it sounds, don't think that failure is an option, because that will trip you up more than anything. Jennifer, thank you so much for being here. Has this been good? Yes. I feel like I should do ASMR on this. Have you seen that? Oh, yes. Wait, that would be actually- I love it.
00:33:56
Speaker
I love that stuff. Should we accidentally get a bunch of views and you just do that? I'm so into it. Should this just be your ASMR channel? You know, don't threaten me with a good time. I'm going to threaten you with a good time right now and ask you some questions that I think will have us all having a good time. Time for a little bit of a game show. That actually leads into our little game show. Time for a game show. It's game show time. Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to play our first installment of heaps or cut.
00:34:24
Speaker
When we look at the haircuts of the time and we decide whether or not in 2025, we will be keeping them or cutting them. When we say cut, we mean we're not going to get these haircuts anymore. and When we say keep, we mean we will keep getting these haircuts. Fashion decisions from our expert hairstylist. You are the show's hairstylist now. I am.
00:34:45
Speaker
It's an honor. The official hairstylist of I Don't Understand. Do you want that title? I do. It's yours. Bob's. Keep. Textured layers. Keep. Pixie cut. Keep. Curtain bangs. Keep. Wolf cut. Keep. Broccoli hair. Cut.
00:35:09
Speaker
Now, this is culturally insensitive to our gen our Gen Z viewers. You're telling them to no more broccoli hair? Grow up. What is this trend with the broccoli hair? Grow up. Do you see it a lot in your salon? All the time. What do you tell them? Would you like it tapered or the same? Adrian Brody. Oh.
00:35:32
Speaker
No. Why? He looks like a pineapple. You don't want to look like a pineapple. No. Is that an industry term for the bad haircut? We got a real pineapple hair coming in here. Yeah, we do too, but yep. I don't know why we love fruits and vegetables when we describe people's hair. Cub cut. What? Cub cut. Cub cut. I'm sorry, can you use that as a sentence? We're just going to say cut because I don't know what the hell that is. Yeah. Who's the current king of hair?
00:36:00
Speaker
I would say Bradley Cooper. Is his hair real? That's to be determined. But it could still be good, even though it's very fake? It's like slightly curly, but it's like non, and you can rock it short and rock it long. He's someone that I mention a lot when guys come in, and they're like, what should I do? And I said Bradley Cooper. Or, or, American Psycho. Christian Bale gets him every time. It's the gentleman's haircut. It's a win-win. Sure to get laid with it. The American Psycho haircut? Yes.
00:36:29
Speaker
Okay. What about the wispy pixie? What about wispy pixie? Keep. Keep? Keep. What about a wavy shag? Keep, that's basically a wolf. I don't know what any of these are. That's a wolf cut. Am I dumb for not knowing what any of these are? is it it's like It's like a language, I just don't speak them. No, I call that job security. You give me the best haircut. Yeah, it's like you are handsome. It's not just because you're my friend. It is, I'm thankful that I have such a talented friend like you. You're incredibly talented.
00:36:55
Speaker
Thank you. Wait a second. But I also just had the talent, because I'm that talented. I just had a thought. Who cuts your hair? I have been at my girls at the shop. Shout out to TT who did my hair tonight. Your hair looks amazing. Thank you, TT. TT!
00:37:13
Speaker
Shout out to you too. Thank you so much, Jennifer. You're one of my best friends in the world. You're the only person who I would trust with a razor blade at my throat. I come to you for haircut, and you give me haircut that I love, and it makes it so I don't have to worry about how to do it, or you take that off my plate in life.
00:37:33
Speaker
That's an honor. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for cutting my hair. Everyone should go to TFO Salon. They're the best in Maryland. You get to eat a bagel at the bagel shop next door, and then you get the best haircut of your life. You make some friends. You offer drinks. It's a good vibe. Yeah, it's a vibe.
00:37:48
Speaker
Just don't shit outside. Just don't poop outside, because then like the landlord has to clean it up. yep And we're going to eat the landlords, as we've already discussed. Speaking of eating, folks, tonight we're going to wrap it up with a little treat. One of our best friends, Brian, made a very interesting... Okay, I'm not going to do that. well Well, tonight, folks, we're going to end with a little... One of our best friends, Brian, moved to Australia. We have a friend... Yeah, why did he do that? I don't know.
00:38:15
Speaker
One of our best friends, Brian, moved to Australia with his family to Perth, which is technically as far from Houston as possible on Earth. So he got away from us pretty far, Brian. So as a little treat, we're going to eat one of their nation's most famous yeast extracts, Vegemite. Oh, God. Or you don't have to. No, I'm going to do it. You're going to do it? Yeah, hell yeah, I'm doing it. So I've been hearing all my life that Vegemite is the most famous thing in Australia.
Tasting Vegemite
00:38:42
Speaker
So my whole life, I've been sort of scared and curious what this tastes like. And for Brian, Donner Heyman, the Koala Bears down there, Kangaroos, all of you watching.
00:38:52
Speaker
This is for you. Alright, so how do we eat it? No, just dip it in there. Dip? Balls deep. So on the first smell, Vegemite... Yeah, it smells salty. You said this was gonna be a salty experience. It's a very salty experience.
00:39:08
Speaker
My fingerprints are on it. That's a lot. That's too much. Brian, this is for you. Yeah, please darling, let me help you. Cheers. Cheers.
00:39:20
Speaker
oh It's not bad. I don't think it's hitting me yet. Is it hitting you? I think it's okay so far. It doesn't really taste like much. Do I like it? Oh god. Uh oh. Do I like it? Am I a weirdo? Do I like it? I need this.
00:39:45
Speaker
I mean, I get it's intense, but you you kind of numb it out. You don't need it like the weirdo, like I'm doing. What does it taste like? It's like salty floor cleaner. Now it's a little bad. Now it's happening where I'm getting why it's not great. No, but i like I get it. You know, they put butter, or you put it on toast. You do you do it, however, the culture, the quality. You know how they do it in all Australia, you're gonna have a great time. Brian, shout out to you, my friend. We miss you, buddy. I hope you were watching this with your family.
00:40:14
Speaker
This actually is now in my mouth and it is, as worn, bad. Well, that was good. I'm glad we wrapped it up this way where you literally are leaving with a bad taste in your mouth. That's so bad. This is the worst idea.