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S2E5: Week 5 - Clinching to victory
87 Plays2 years ago
Manatee Jackson rebounds with a stellar performance after last week's afterthought ep. Don't miss out!
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Transcript
Introduction and Episode Setup
00:00:15
Speaker
Manatee Jackson coming at you on Friday, October 7th.
00:00:23
Speaker
Good news to report, not an afterthought episode. I figured I needed to redeem myself after squeaking one in there last week. I'm actually head of the game recording on a Thursday. So look at that. Look at me planning ahead. Uh, just for your listening pleasure. Appreciate, appreciate you listening with pleasure. By the way, don't get weird though.
00:00:51
Speaker
Don't get too pleasurable listening. Uh, I got to figure out my intro. Okay.
NFL Week 5 Updates and Betting Insights
00:01:00
Speaker
So October 7th, we're looking at NFL week five. Um, I'm going to own it. I'm going to commit to it. I will have all receipts updated.
00:01:14
Speaker
On Magnificent.com, you can see the four lineups that I did $5 bets on. I'll let you know how I did last week and a little bit here. But first of all, like to talk a little, little bit about what's going on in the NFL. Um, this would have been a really good one for last week in the afterthought episode. Overlooked it didn't have time.
00:01:42
Speaker
But these two headlines that I'm going to pull today, just, they just make me so happy that this, if there is content like this each and every week, this would be like the funnest gig ever.
Amusing NFL Headlines and Fines
00:01:57
Speaker
I mean, for starters, we got Jamal Williams just going nuts. Uh, what was this week three week three?
00:02:10
Speaker
Jamal Williams scored a touchdown and did a little touchdown in zone dance. And I watched it and I counted. He did four hip thrusts. And for four hip thrusts, the NFL decided to find him 13,000
00:02:29
Speaker
$315.25. That's really down to the cent, like the 25 cents. Who is on the accounting side deciding we need to find Jamal Williams?
00:02:44
Speaker
I mean, it's exactly like the key and peel skit that they did way back in the day where you got a referee just staring at the football players hips to see if there's any movement. And if he needs a flag to be penalized, Jamal Williams did this in real life. Um, they're charging him $3,328 and 81 cents per hip thrust.
00:03:11
Speaker
I just don't get it. And it makes me think of a couple of things. It makes me think if I was Jamal, I would pull up every single, like as much video evidence from like Disney channel of hip thrusts.
00:03:28
Speaker
They're not getting fined over there at Disney Channel for hip thrusts guaranteed. There are hip thrusts and way more G rated formats. I'd also, this also makes me think we need a challenge. Like we're setting a bar here. So we got four hip thrusts with a 13,000 just north of $13,000 fine. We can do better than that. How sexual can these end zone celebrations get?
00:03:59
Speaker
And what's the max? Like what is the most like sexual end zone celebration that could happen? And how much would that cost? I wonder.
Unusual NFL Moments: DK Metcalf's Bathroom Break
00:04:10
Speaker
And of course the mind is racing. You just picture a wide open guy getting a, you know, a bomb thrown at him for 50 yards touchdown goes in the end zone. And then there's like a coordinated team celebration.
00:04:28
Speaker
where they're just, just doing nastiness, nasty stuff. Kind of like that. You can't remember what that TV, that movie was called. The one with all the food, the like hot dogs and buns is like CGI movie where they're all doing the hippity dibity going at it in all these weird ways at the end. This is what we need to come together as a nation. You know,
00:04:59
Speaker
maybe even have participants from the other team join in.
00:05:05
Speaker
Get real sexual with those sellies, those celebrations. Apparently sellie is the cool new way to call them celebrations. I guess sellie is easier to say than celebration. Anyway, $13,000 at the bar. Let's see. We got to increase that. We got to have more sexualized end zone sellies.
00:05:31
Speaker
And we want to, we have to see how much NFL is actually in charge for something. I give, I feel like you're just playing with fire at this point. You're going to charge the guy for four hip thrusts. Let's see what happens when someone intentionally does something very sexually suggested. So that's my challenge to the NFL. Go nuts. Literally. Uh, other favorite headline.
00:05:58
Speaker
This is hilarious. It got me, probably got a few of you as well. You know, it was pretty good weekend. Last weekend, fantasy teams were doing good. I saw an update DK Metcalf carted off and my heart sink. I was like, Oh God, my team is doing so good. I got DK out of value when I already had a really good team. So it's like, damn, that's going to hurt. And then like a few seconds later,
00:06:27
Speaker
DK is fine, was updated. Just had to go to the bathroom. Which, how epic. And DK Metcalf spoke on it. Excuse me. They said, hey, why'd you get carted off to go to the bathroom? And he said, that clinch walk would not have made it.
00:06:53
Speaker
He had a shit so bad in the middle of a game, he couldn't walk to the bathroom for fear of shitting his pants. So he asked the medical staff to cart him to the restroom so he could take a massive shit. Mid-game, that's amazing. So my favorite in-game headline I've seen since Antonio Brown just
00:07:19
Speaker
middle of the game, just quit, retired, took his shirt off and like hyped up the crowd. This is what I'm here for. You know, this is what I'm here for. My team's going to do great better than yours. So who cares about that? I want these types of headlines. Let's keep them coming. Thank you for that, NFL. That was a very, very enjoyable, uh, a week.
Fantasy Football Recap: Wins, Losses, and Improvements
00:07:49
Speaker
Some great headlines, let's keep them coming. Which leads me to the week four lineup. I have two weeks to report, and I'm bringing back the throwback intro for this. We're even, baby. We won two, we lost two. We're even.
00:08:17
Speaker
celebratory historic old intro from last season. Maybe I'll keep it going every time I win. Might get sick of it though. You might get sick of it because I'll probably just keep winning and hit a hot streak. Last week's lineup nailed it. Really good week for me and it's funny. I'm gonna tell you these were the two cornerstones for me and I had to build off of these guys.
00:08:45
Speaker
And you're probably going to call me a liar because they were my two best picks, but my two picks were God, I got a tickle in my throat. Probably because I'm so excited looking at this lineup. We had TJ Hockinson at tight end. Everyone was on that, you know, just looking at, I did the massive double up single entry, uh, finished 3,500 plates, which is like top 25%.
00:09:15
Speaker
TJ was about 34% owned. Everyone knows at this point, TJ had a huge game, like 170 yards, ton of catches, two touchdowns, came away with 42.9 points. If you didn't have TJ, that broke the slate, you didn't do good, you lost. And I don't feel bad for you. The other one for me.
00:09:41
Speaker
You know, I love running back matchup against Detroit, which might be a little foreshadowing for next week. So Rashad Penny was super cheap. He was like 4,700 or something. And I see him sitting there and I see him against Detroit and he was an afterthought for me at first, because everyone's thinking about this.
00:10:07
Speaker
Flashy rookie Kenneth Walker and they're afraid to click on Rashad Penny Well, I did a little research and Rashad even with Kenneth You know with a limited slowly growing growing role Rashad got 70% of the snaps last week. So I wasn't afraid that was an auto-click after I saw that He got 31.7 points
00:10:31
Speaker
had another huge day, which holy shit. If I could have, if I could have figured out the rest of this lineup with that base, who knows, who knows how good this would have been. Um, it looked stacked at glance because having those two guys, I had Lamar Jackson at quarterback, one of the top priced quarterbacks who has been killing it, getting like 30 points every week. Thought that was pretty safe.
00:10:58
Speaker
He only had 15 points, so he went below expectation. Then at running back I had Saquon, got 21 points, did okay. Herbert, everyone had Herbert. In this double up, Herbert was 64% owned, and he only got 11 points. It's not gonna help. Then I went with Curtis Samuel.
00:11:22
Speaker
Last year really helped to tack slot the slot cornerback against the Cowboys. And that's what Curtis is. He didn't hit, he hit like every other week, but not this week, 7.8 Rashad Bateman did a little stack that the Buffalo secondary was still beat up, did not work out too well. And yeah, that one sucked dude only got like four points.
00:11:50
Speaker
That stack failed, blew up in my face. So whatever. DJ Moore. I thought, you know what? The time is now for DJ Moore. They're disrespecting this dude week after week after week, putting him in the low fives, and he is playing against Arizona. For whatever reason, after week one, when Mahomes just blew up that defense,
00:12:16
Speaker
Everyone's looking at Arizona and licking their chops thinking Whoever whichever quarterbacks playing against Arizona whichever wide receivers playing against them. They're gonna have a big week I kept thinking that too and DJ more 12.1 points. Okay, not bad Baker Mayfield did not do too good Anyway, so trying to figure out what the hell Those freaking
00:12:47
Speaker
Arizona Cardinals actually are. All right. So moving on, we got, yeah, then I had TJ and Rashad. So, so that's, that's how I hit pay dirt there. Otherwise Seahawks defense really cheap against Detroit.
00:13:05
Speaker
By the way, obviously TJ was the guy. I mean, 33%, everyone knows that high ownership, but like, there's literally nobody else. Think about all of last year. This is speaking to all of the people that didn't pick TJ and doubt him all of last year before Amun-Ra emerged. TJ was the guy.
Future Predictions and Strategy: Patriots vs. Hockinson
00:13:28
Speaker
He was the guy in that passing offense.
00:13:32
Speaker
So this is no surprise to me. Um, I'll give a little tidbit for next week or for this weekend, rather, even though I want you all to lose. I want you to suck. I want to take all of your money and make you feel bad about it. Um, Bill Belichick and the Patriots do a really good job of looking at the game plan every week, seeing what offense they're playing against and saying, who's the best guy?
00:14:01
Speaker
How do we remove that guy? So if there's all these injuries again, which I think is going to happen for the Lions, I have a feeling the Patriots are going to be keyed in on TJ, which scares me a little. I could be way off. I could be wrong. But I'll tell you this. He's not going to get 42. He's going to go under 42 points next week. You've heard it here first on Magnificent. So suck that. All right.
00:14:29
Speaker
So that's the lineup. You know, we got two wins, two losses.
Conclusion and Fantasy Football Rap
00:14:34
Speaker
We're at zero dollars for the year and winnings, which is exactly what I like. I'm going to be kind of weirded out, not going to lie. I start winning a lot and then I don't come out even in the end because that's kind of on brand to be even in the ends and this shitty rap about to play.
00:14:49
Speaker
Well, I'm magnificent, kind of on top of this. So my question before quarters not quite right in the border. Just an average big shoe, gonna be paid. Pack my money that I already made, cause I'm gonna come out even in the end. Keep my money in all my time and I'll spend. Only back, talk, snack, hop, track. We'll snack, get snack, have snacks, free on top.
00:15:25
Speaker
Aye. Aye.