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150th Episode Special: Tackling Trump, Gun Control, & Relationship
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Bruce Anthony hosts the 150th episode of 'Unsolicited Perspectives,' covering current events, presidential roles, political rhetoric, and gun control. He discusses the attempted assassination of former President Donald Trump, exploring its implications. J. Aundrea joins to discuss marriage, faith coaching, and a viral TikTok video about a woman's challenging pregnancy. The conversation delves into the nuances of relationships, faith, sacrifice, forgiveness, and resilience amidst turmoil, offering insightful and candid commentary.
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Thank you for tuning into Unsolicited Perspectives with Bruce Anthony. Let's continue the conversation in the comments and remember, stay engaged, stay informed, and always keep an open mind. See you in the next episode!
Chapters
00:00 Welcome to Unsolicited Perspectives
00:34 150th Episode Special: Current Events and Special Guest
03:48 The Importance of the Presidency
08:03 Gun Control Debate in America
10:59 The Attempt on Donald J. Trump
14:25 Sibling Commentary: Assassination Attempt and More
21:38 A TikTok Marriage Story
33:34 Relationship Dynamics and Divorce
37:21 The Role of Sacrifice in Relationships
41:26 Toxic Christianity and Women's Roles
43:57 Debating Relationship Coaching
56:34 Final Thoughts and Reflections
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Transcript
Welcome and Milestone Celebration
00:00:10
Speaker
Welcome. First of all, welcome. This is Unsolicited Perspectives. I'm your host, Bruce Anthony, here to lead the conversation at important events and topics that have shaped today's society. Join the conversation and follow us wherever you get your audio podcasts. Subscribe to our YouTube channel to watch our video podcasts. Rate, review, like, comment, share, share with your friends, share with your family. Hell, even share with your enemies. On today's episode, it's the 150th episode, and we're going to be talking about current events, and my sister will be popping in and do a segment with me that went long. But, I mean, it couldn't be a 150th episode without my sister joining us. But that's enough of this intro. Let's actually get to the show.
Weekend Event Revelation
00:00:59
Speaker
So, we had something pretty significant happen. this past weekend and I'm going to get into that. There'll be a discussion about it with my sister obviously to get her thoughts and then we'll have some humor at the end but we need to address some real
Blog Reading on U.S. Presidency
00:01:15
Speaker
issues. This wasn't what I had planned for the 150th episode but I feel like this is important. So I actually took the time to write. I haven't done it in a while. i I did say at one point I was going to have a segment called Reading, where every now and then I was going to write because I was writing on a for a blog or our blog on our website. You know, it's up there if you want to read some of my work. But I decided that I wanted to tackle this very important current issue.
00:01:48
Speaker
by addressing several different things. And, hey, y'all know I'm not a great orator. Like, I stumble, I stutter, these things happen. And I know what I want to say at the end. I know that endpoint of everything that I want to say, but sometimes getting to it, I go around the circles and and I may lose you guys from time to time. And I didn't want to lose you guys. I want to remain focused in the point that I'm trying to get off. So I wrote, I wrote that a blog that I'm going to put up that will be on the website when this show airs and releases so everybody can read it and can share it.
00:02:32
Speaker
I'm going to read it to you. It's not going to be word for word. I'm going to throw some ad libs in there. Not a whole lot because I wrote this in a manner of which I'm tackling a serious issue. But I mean, I got to have some jokes in there. I just have to. So this first segment is me reading. And then the second and third segments will be segments with my sister that we filmed, that we're going to be filming. Now, if you want to hear the unsolicited version of what me and my sister think of the current events that we are going to be addressing in this episode, but you want to hear the uncensored version, that came out yesterday. If you go on our Patreon page, patreon dot.com backslash unsolicited perspectives,
00:03:21
Speaker
The after hours uncensored, we talk about, we continue on the conversation of what we're gonna be talking about during this show, but it's uncensored. So some things that we can't say on the main show, we say on that show. So if you're interested, go ahead and join our Patreon page. But let me go ahead and start this reading segment. All right, all right, all right. Gather around, folks, because today we're diving into a wild, wonderful, and often ridiculous world of the President of the United States. Yeah, that's right. The Big Cheese, the head honcho, the commander of chaos. We're talking about the person sitting in the Oval Office making decisions that affect us while dodging scandals like they're in the political matrix.
00:04:10
Speaker
Now, why is this job so important? Let me break it down for you. The president isn't just a figurehead who smells who smiles for cameras and pardons turkeys. No, no, no. This person is the head of the executive branch, the commander in chief, and supposedly the leader of the free world. Basically, they're like the principal of a very dysfunctional high school where half the students are plotting to coop, and the other half are just trying to pass gym class. But hold up, let's rewind. The framers of the Constitution, those powdered, wig-wearing fellas, decided we needed a president and not a king. And why? Because they had just dumped a king. King George III was about as popular as a skunk at a garden party. They didn't want to trade one tyrant for another. Instead, they created a balanced system where no one person could hold all the power and start naming themselves His Majesty and demanding you kiss their ring.
00:05:04
Speaker
Enter the system of checks and balances. Think of it like a game of rock-paper-scissors, but with vetoes, override, and you and judicial reviews. The president can veto laws, but Congress can come back with nah, son, and override that veto with two-thirds majority.
Gun Control Debate
00:05:21
Speaker
The judiciary can declare laws unconstitutional, giving both the president and the Congress the finger if they start acting crazy. It's a beautiful choreographed dance of democracy. And sometimes, as in recent years, it's a political cage match. But let's talk about some of the all-star presidents who have occupied this high pressure office. First up, George Washington, the OG of the White House. He set the stage by creating a cabinet and stepping down after two terms. He's basically like, all right, I'm going to head out. Don't get too comfortable in this chair. Then there's Abe Lincoln.
00:05:59
Speaker
who kept the nation together during the Civil War and emancipated the slaves. Now, some of those s slaves didn't get freedom until two years after the end of the Civil War, but old Abe had gotten taken out like Omar from the wire not too long after the war had ended. So that ain't on him. Fast forward to Franklin D. Roosevelt, who served four terms. That's right, four. Bro is like, three terms? Hold my black and mild. I'm going to run this back one more game. His new deal helped drag the country out of the Great Depression, and he set up Social Security, making sure all grumpy old people have something to complain about every month.
00:06:38
Speaker
But let's not forget Lyndon B. Johnson. That's Baines, if you're nasty. My favorite president. This guy gave us the great society legislation, including civil rights laws, Medicare and Medicaid. LBJ was like, I see your social issues and I raise you comprehensive reforms. His term was like four and a half mic rating from the source. He doesn't get the five mic check because you know that whole Vietnam thing. Now, why doesn't the president have absolute power? Because absolute power corrupts absolutely. And we don't want the White House turning into the next episode of Game of Thrones. The founding fathers were like, let's make sure no one turns this place into medieval fiefdom.
00:07:22
Speaker
They were serious about keeping it democratic. The president's powers are limited by design. We've got this nifty thing called federalism, where power is shared between the federal government and the states. It's like a giant game of tug of war, but instead of mud, we get bureaucratic red tape. But, you know, that just keeps things spicy. And then there's a system of checks and balances. Congress can impeach the president the president. The president can veto Congress. The Supreme Court can tell both of them to take a hike if they start acting up.
Political Violence and Trump
00:07:56
Speaker
It's like a high stakes political soap opera, but with less hair pulling and more filibuster.
00:08:03
Speaker
But I'm gonna take a 90 degree turn and hit another subject. Let's be real, in America today, safety is a full-time job. We gotta talk about the shootings and the mass shootings in this country, y'all. I mean, it feels like every other day there's another tragedy. Columbine, Virginia Tech, Sandy Hook, Las Vegas Strip, Pulse Nightclub, Emmanuel AME Church in Charleston, Top's Friendly Markets in Buffalo, those beautiful babies at Iveda Elementary School. Each time we hear the same thing, thoughts and prayers. We've sent out so many thoughts and prayers we could open up our own Hallmark store. And the whole gun control debate.
00:08:42
Speaker
Man, this country loves its guns. We got more guns than people. You ever meet these gun fanatics, they treat their guns like their own kids. Some of them love their guns more than their kids. Hell, your kids act up, they get grounded. The guns act out, it gets a nice little cleaning. Priorities, right? Let's talk about Republicans. Man, they love guns. They love guns more than Kanye loves Kanye. And that's saying something. They always talking about the Second Amendment rights. Don't take away my guns. All right, man. All right. Nobody's coming for your guns, Rambo. Chill. They always say guns don't kill people. People kill people.
00:09:21
Speaker
Yeah, sure. But you never hear about a man stabbing at a distance, do you? You don't see someone crossing the room like, oh, he's got a knife unless he's Wolverine. But that's a whole separate issue. And then there's the NRA. Well, these guys are something else. They're like, we don't need more. They're like, we need more guns to protect ourselves from bad guys with guns. So let me get this straight. The solution to gun violence is more guns. That's like saying the solution to obesity is more donuts than Popeye's chicken. That's crazy. But you know what's even crazier? These politicians. They send out thoughts and prayers like they handing out candy on Halloween. Thoughts and prayers, like that's gonna stop a bullet. Hey, thoughts and prayers, maybe a bullet will curve. When the founding fathers wrote the Second Amendment, there was no national army. Our defense was made up of militias.
00:10:14
Speaker
We didn't create a national army until after the War of 1812. That's why the Second Amendment talks about a well-regulated militia. That's all we had to defend the country. The Founding Fathers were talking about muskets, y'all. A musket! You had to load that thing like it was a damn IKEA dresser. Ain't nobody going to do a drive-by with a musket. Ain't nobody got time for that. So what's the answer? Hell if I know. But I do know this. We need to stop acting like owning a gun is a sacred right. Start treating it as what it is, a responsibility. Because until we do, we're just going to keep going in circles like a dog chasing its chair.
00:10:53
Speaker
Or, in this case, a politician and NRA donation. Now, this all leads me to the attempt on Donald J. Trump. First and foremost, I want to say that I'm happy he wasn't killed. I disagree with Trump on almost all of his principles in politics and life. However, I would never wish death on anyone. Well, just one of my clients, but that's it, and we ain't gotta talk about that. I think of people that have, I think of the people that would have lost their father.
00:11:26
Speaker
an uncle, a friend. This is not the first attempt on someone running for president, and unfortunately, it won't be the last. What we have to be thankful for is that the attacker did not succeed. I saw so many commenters and politicians saying that we need to tone down the political rhetoric. So let's talk about it, specifically the kind that comes from Donald Trump. Now, if you ever wonder what happens when you mix a Twitter account true social with a megaphone. This is it. This is your guy. This guy takes political language and turns it into a chaotic symphony. First off, Trump has a magical ability to make everything sound like it's the end of the world. He doesn't just disagree with people. He labels them as enemies of the people.
00:12:13
Speaker
I mean, there are folks out there who think LeBron James is better than Michael Jordan. They couldn't be more wrong than flat Earthers. But just because I don't agree with them doesn't mean I call them enemies of the people. Then there was January 6, right? Y'all remember that day? January 6, when folks took storm into capital to a whole new level? They showed up thinking they were going to find some secret stash of democracy or something. And Trump was like, fight like hell. I mean, it's only time that you could say something like that and not be talking about a WWE w match between Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock. January 6 is more like a chaotic game of capture the flag. But the flag was the Constitution.
00:12:54
Speaker
And let's not forget the comments about immigrants. Calling them invaders is like saying your neighbor's dog is trying to take over your house because it barks too much. More specifically, my neighbor's dogs. But as I digress making jokes, I'm not saying that there are issues at the border. But come on, these people are peaceful folk looking for a better life. America loves reality TV. Well, this is the most realistic reality show that there ever could be. It should be called escape from oppression. Or better yet, escape from oppression that the US is caused by its constant interference in political elections. Yeah, these people are escaping from some shit that we started, but y'all don't want to hear me though.
00:13:34
Speaker
Y'all don't want to talk about that. But here's the here's the kicker. Trump's rhetoric has made political violence feel more like an acceptable sport than an act of desperation. I mean, if you go on Twitter or true social and you tell your followers to fight, you better believe someone's bringing a metaphorical sword to that debate. It's like inviting people to a cookout and serving up a side of a potato salad with raises in it. You're creating chaos. I'm making jokes, but let's remember words matter. They have the power to uplift or destroy. And while we can joke about it, it's a fine line we're walking here. Let's hope that we don't end up on the wrong side of history.
00:14:25
Speaker
So as promised, a little segment, a little sibling happy hour on a Tuesday episode to celebrate our 150th. My sister, Jay Andre has gone, has taken the time out of her busy schedule to join us on a Tuesday to tackle three subjects. And as I said, at the top of the hour or the top of the show, if you want to hear our unsolicited perspectives, an uncensored keyword, uncensored perspectives of the assassination attempt on the former president of Donald Trump. Check out our After Hours Uncensored episode on our Patreon page that released yesterday. and You can check it out at patreon dot.com backslash on solicit perspectives. But Jay, welcome. Yeah. umm here yeah I'm Look, 150. We didn't made it.
00:15:19
Speaker
We made it. That's it. That's it. That's it. Anywhere to go from here. I guess 151. Well, yeah, 151 and then 300. You know me. Which used to be my favorite alcohol. Uh, that's because you're 151. Yeah. That's because you're a sociopath. Um, yeah. 151. And like 19. I I don't even know if they even sell that in a liquor store. I don't think they do. I don't think in several countries. A lot of stuff that we drank back in the day has been banned, like Four Loco. Try to find Four Loco. You can't do it. You can't do it. All right, Jay, before we get into the other subjects, what is your thoughts about the assassination attempt, former President Donald Trump? Fake news. No, I'm kidding.
00:16:21
Speaker
ah It sure did look like, it sure did look staged. Nobody ran. The Secret Service actually let him stop and put that fist up. It looked like ketchup on the side of his face. Like, OK, now we know there was a shooter. ah He was taken out by Secret Service. Thomas Matthew Grace. Somebody else died. Someone else died. Several people were work were injured. So we do know that it wasn't an actual attempt on his, I guess, on his life. It was an actual attempt.
00:17:01
Speaker
Yeah, all right. Jay, it stopped. It was an actual attempt on itself. Yeah, and no, I know. Remember, this is the main show. You can compare with other stuff on Uncensored, but just whoever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it sucks because we're never going to not hear about this. Like, we're going to hear about this.
00:17:27
Speaker
forever. There's no way Trump is going to not have t-shirts. He's going to be coming out to, I don't know, 50 cent music maybe. Many men with stuff upon me. like i feel like a for Of course, Black Twitter is already having a field day with this, but like We're going to have to hear about this forever. um This is definitely going to affect the election for him in a positive way. There are going to be people who are like, oh, look, look, see, they're scared of us. That means we're on the we're on the right track. You know, so
00:18:10
Speaker
That's definitely gonna, you're gonna see a boost in his poll numbers. Um, I saw one meme that said Biden, the only, he gotta come out as bi. Like, that's the only way. I did see that. yeah You know, this has definitely ended up being a boon for him. I don't know if it was supposed to be. That's the thing. I really don't know what the... We don't know what the intent of the shooter was, and we we're never going to know now, because he's dead, unless he leaves something behind,
00:18:47
Speaker
um telling us what was the purpose for this. Because as far as we know so far, he's a registered Republican. He's young, he's only 20 years old. I don't even but think he's had an opportunity to vote in his first election yet. Thinking about it, he's 20, no. So, I mean, I don't, we don't know yet. So, I'm just glad, you know, he's not blood. Jesus. and You're also glad that like, nevermind, I'm not even gonna go there. I'm not gonna go there. i'm That he missed? I wish he had never taken the shot at all. Yes, yes.
00:19:33
Speaker
I don't wish death upon anybody. Yeah, no, listen, I wish we'd never take the shot at all. I got a former client I do wish death upon, but but it generally speaking, I don't wish death upon. I don't agree with his policies. I don't particularly like him as a person, but I don't i didn't want him to be dead, unalived. I don't want him to be unalived.
00:19:59
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, we're we both want the same thing, but for different reasons, I think it would have been. What it is, which is a political nightmare to shoot at him and miss, and I mean. I wish you had never taken the shot at all and let us just fight it out in November. Like, what are you even doing? And then you injured innocent people in the process and killed somebody in the process. It's like. ah yeah i mean okay Of course, again, these AR-15 style you know ar fifteen fo rifles.
00:20:35
Speaker
somebody i mean Is anybody going to do anything about that? Probably not. No. You know what I mean? ah you know This was one of their own. A young a young white kid, Republican, gun enthusiasts. Like, this is one of their, oh, what is the explanation for this? I don't know. I don't know. I wish it didn't happen. I mean, this is just a nightmare. Yeah. Because we're not here about it. There's a lot of time between now and November. Not enough. It's almost four months away, a little less than four months away. So in the political world, there's a million and one things that can happen between now and then.
00:21:18
Speaker
um So, but I mean, yeah, that's where we at with that.
00:21:33
Speaker
ah And a very, very awkward detour.
TikTok Marriage Story
00:21:37
Speaker
and Extremely awkward detour. You sent me something last week. ah us on A series. with this woman on TikTok. Can you explain to the audience what you sent me and let then we can talk about it. So this young lady on TikTok has been married for several years.
00:22:02
Speaker
And she markets herself as a faith and marriage coach. Now, not counselor. You got to be very clear with your language because counselors require some sort of certification or education, but coaches don't. You can just say you're a coach. And there are so many people here. in Atlanta. I don't know that this young lady is in Atlanta, but I know there's so many people here in Atlanta that love saying that they're life coaches and just buy my seminar and all this kind of thing. So this is a business, okay? So she gets on TikTok and she tells the story of how God restored her marriage.
00:22:42
Speaker
And so everybody's tuned in to figure out what happened in your marriage. How did God restore it? We would love to hear a a lovely testimony. This testimony was not lovely. So basically what happened was she was married. She is married to this man. They are still married. And she got pregnant with their second child and he was just He was uninterested in her, uninterested in the marriage, uninterested in this new child. And he basically left her, abandoned her while she was pregnant to go and live with his girlfriend.
00:23:24
Speaker
And this woman, she peddles that kind of Christianity where
00:23:33
Speaker
abuse and self-sacrifice in women is what's next to godliness, right? And so it's like, it's okay if you let people walk all over you, you use an abuse, you abandon you, you should welcome them back with open arms type of thing, because be a Christian and forgive. So he's gone the entire pregnancy up to the day she gives birth. She sends him a sonogram. He doesn't even reply. like They have no communication. You're forgetting something very, very major when he's gone. He's in her and another relationship. Yeah, he went he left to live with his girlfriend. Yeah. what yeah No, he was living with his mama.
00:24:16
Speaker
He wasn't living with the girlfriend. He was living with his mama. You're right. He left. he lay He leaves her. This is a woman that he works with. that and you and best They have their life now. The mama's telling her. The mother-in-law is telling her. You know, he seems happy. They seem happy together. I don't know why she's still talking to this mother-in-law, but okay. Because other people are not like us and emotionally cut off other people in their lives. You know, that you know some people, oh they yeah they have relationships with, with you know, their in-laws and no matter the marriage ends, they still got a relationship with their in-laws. Right. Sure.
00:24:57
Speaker
So, uh, well, no, we've seen it in our own family. So that's, that's true. I still have a very good relationship with my, with my former father in law. So it happens. Yeah. Um, and so up to the day she gives birth, her mother ends up calling him like, Hey, she's given birth. So he shows up at the hospital.
00:25:23
Speaker
They really don't talk to each other. He he does hold her, because the doctor asked him to when she's getting her epidural. But other than that, they- Don't know that they're not together. Don't know that they're not together. The other than that, really no communication the whole time she's given birth. like That's probably the most awkward hospital room ah ever, okay? she forget You forgot to talk about her prophecy. Okay. Yeah. So this entire time that they've been apart, she's been having these in her mind, prophetic dreams, that they're go to God's going to restore their marriage. And that's that's the dreams that she's having, that that just, you know, just wait. He'll, you know, restore your marriage.
Toxic Christianity in Relationships
00:26:10
Speaker
So she's been having these quote unquote, prophetic dreams and we watching stuff on YouTube.
00:26:16
Speaker
from these, quote-unquote, prophetic mr ministers, uh, saying, oh, something's gonna happen in three days, and three days, something's gonna happen, and what happened was she went into labor, and the husband showed up. So, of in her mind, oh, now, chances are, something is gonna happen in three days.
00:26:39
Speaker
And I say that right now. That's not me being prophetic. That's just something's probably going to happen in a three days. You stub your toe. Yeah, you get paid. I don't mean anything could happen. and So this, you know, OK, but OK, for some reason, this person who prerecorded this on YouTube was speaking prophecy over your specific life. OK, sure. So, um. She has the baby, he's there for a little while. Then he gets a call, she sees on the, you know, that it's the girlfriend, right? So he leaves. Because this girl is calling him, right? this is This is the day that she gave birth. Yes, this is the day after he was absent this entire time. But he was there for the birth of the baby. He was there for the birth of the baby only because her mother called him. Well, yeah.
00:27:36
Speaker
otherwise he wouldn't have known. Because she did not want her mother to call him. This is true. So, I think it's like a couple days later or something. he He wants to come by again for some reason. I can't remember what it was. But she says, oh, the Lord told me, just hug him. Just hug him. He needs a hug. And so she he's about to leave. And she goes up. She hugs him. And when somebody asks you, what was that for? It was because they wasn't expecting it, honestly. like
00:28:11
Speaker
And it's like, you hit that oh, what was that for? Yeah, because the implication is that was weird. What'd you do that for? Right. Like that. Right. When people ask that, you guys, it's not they don't mean it. that That's what they really mean when they say that. So she just says, oh, I don't know. I just felt like I needed to give you a hug. So he leaves and what he tells her is that he has a feeling that he wants to go back to his wife. And so he calls his mother and she tells them, well, go on back. And so he goes back and they are, you know, just laying in bed together with the baby and their ah older child, which he had another child, by the way, they had an older child, which again, he has been absent. Yeah. Yes.
00:28:59
Speaker
yeah Like she said they had not talked throughout the entire pregnancy. Hadn't talked, but they yeah they had a kid. These are people that are married. They're technically still married. but yes And she was just like, he held me and it just felt so right. And I felt at peace. Girl, he got a whole girlfriend. He abandoned you your entire pregnancy. me
00:29:30
Speaker
he He had, you sent him a sonogram and homeboy didn't even reply. Yeah, that's cold. He ain't say nothing to you while you were giving birth. No words of encouragement, nothing. If anything, she said he was out in the hall asleep. Yeah, that's tough. That's tough. That's tough. That's tough. Okay. And you just inviting him back with open arms. Meanwhile, he's still got a whole woman on the outside, okay? So he's giving her all the mumbo jumbo we always get. I really want my family back. You know, there's other things now working out. It's not gonna be mumbo jumbo now. It is mumbo jumbo because I want my family back. It's not, I apologize for destroying our family.
00:30:19
Speaker
Well, he didn't, he didn't destroy the family. He told her ahead of time, hey, I'm not feeling this. I'm going, I want a divorce. And then they temporarily got back together for a hot second. She got pregnant. but Before he knew that she was pregnant, he was like, I can't do this. And then he left, and then she told him that he was pregnant that she was pregnant. That's that's what happened. He didn't abandon her when she was pregnant. I mean, he yeah didn't come around after he found out that she was pregnant. True.
00:30:53
Speaker
ah band in abandoned by the way they're pregnant, which is exactly what happened. okay He didn't ask to go to any of the... you know, appointments. He didn't ask how she was doing. How was the baby doing? This man did not care. And what she's hearing from her mother-in-law is that he's having a good time. And they, him and her girlfriends seem happy. Well, yes, but, but she says the woman that doing the video is saying that he was in a very toxic relationship. So she is getting information. She has to tell her that. She has to tell her something. Yeah, yeah.
00:31:31
Speaker
My point with this whole thing, anyway, she ends up taking him back. I didn't see, hear anything about him apologizing to her. She never really... They just kind of moved forward. They moved forward, and this was a story that happened six years ago, so it's been six years of them being strong after all of this. I know, it's been six years of them being together. Well, she's that strong. We don't know that they're strong. Yeah, she said. She said they're strong. well I would love to hear what he says, but this has been notably absent while she's been getting eaten up all over TikTok. And the reason she's been getting eaten up, and I have... Now, am I saying that you can't come back from infidelity? Absolutely not, you can. I have seen it. I've seen people come back from it. You can come back from infidelity. It's just a basically what you...
00:32:26
Speaker
that's It's going to be on a case-by-case basis, right? It's per couple, right? Like, what happened? Are y'all willing to work it out? ah Is there contrition on the person that was at fault here? Like, where are they taking accountability for it and all this stuff? And that can y'all move forward with therapy and things like that? Absolutely. I'm not saying that you can't. I'm saying, if we talking about case-by-case basis, her case ain't had no business
Resilience and Coaching in Relationships
00:32:51
Speaker
cases. You understand? yeah
00:32:56
Speaker
What? And what? And the problem isn't a reason why people again are eating her up is because she had an incredibly ah toxic and a abusive situation. Oh, okay. I don't necessarily agree with that. He was up front. Abuse does not always hitting people. and no i I mean, I know that. But he was very up front when he left. That doesn't mean that it's not abuse. if i If I walk up to somebody and I'm up front and I say, you a bitch.
00:33:29
Speaker
And now this is the main show. This is the main show. Oh God, hold on. But that's not what he did. What he did said, what what he what he did was, hey, I tried to work this out. I can't do it. I want a divorce. And he left. And then he started dating a woman after he said he left. He wasn't playing both sides of the fence. He technically did not cheat. his His fault was that he was not there during the pregnancy. And if she wants to take him back, and he went out there and he stepped out, and he was like, you know what? Home is a lot better than these streets. Or, like, as some people surmise, the girlfriend was like, you got too much going on, and I don't want to do this no more. So he went back to his wife. but I mean, that's that's real that's people being real cynical. could It could have been him absolutely making the decision. But where did that come from?
00:34:18
Speaker
that came from the fact that she just gave birth to their second child. And that's when I opened the next door. And all of a sudden, after leaving her twice, he loves her again? Well, a part that you left out is the day of the child's birth, they're laying in the bed together. He gets a text message. She looks at the phone and realizes it's a girlfriend. He leaves. Yes. He comes back with flowers. That day. youre gros Yeah, because that was when he called his mama and said, I really wanted to be there. But does he want to be there with her or does he want to be there with his child? Maybe the whole package. Maybe, I don't know. Guess what? We don't get to hear from him. And the thrill of it is, Flowers is not even a bare minimum of what she deserved in that situation. What does she deserve in that situation?
00:35:08
Speaker
Oh, I don't know, some so darn
00:35:14
Speaker
Empathy, I mean, even if you don't want to be with her no more, she's still pregnant with your child. How can you just leave her and your other child that still exists? Okay, I'm not defending the fact that he disappeared throughout that entire pregnancy and we don't know what was going. He may have been coming by throwing cash. She said that they didn't talk or text. I find that hard to believe that he wasn't taking care of his child.
00:35:47
Speaker
during that whole, the other child during that whole process. Well, now you now that you're being an optimist. If I'm being cynical, you're being an optimist. The reason why people are eating her up, though, is really not um about him, it's about her and talking to women as if the way that she responded to all of this makes her better than everybody else. See, some of y'all don't know God, and that's why you can that's why you're single and you're hating, you're bitter and you're hating on married people. No, it it really sounds like your situation was not great with somebody who didn't want to be with you, and you allowed all of this to happen. But the problem is, you're saying it is because God wanted this to happen to you. Okay. so
00:36:41
Speaker
That's the problem. Sometimes God is not in y'all relationships. Y'all think just because y'all still together in these toxic ass relationships is because this is the man that God had for me. Is it? Maybe the Lord is giving you signals that this isn't the person for you. Maybe everything that has happened up until this point, all the blatant things that were said and done directly to your face, directly to your face, with the Lord telling you, this ain't the one for you.
00:37:16
Speaker
Oh, okay. You sent this to me because you wanted you wanted to hear what I thought. What are your thoughts? because Because I'm tired of this kind of toxic Christianity towards women where women have to accept self-sacrifice. And that is what gives them their value and their virtue is the amount of sacrifice, a self-sacrifice that they make in these relationships. and of the amount of... crap that they can take, or that they're willing to take and turn the other cheek for some reason. If I'm turning the other cheek, it's to spit before I hit you in the face. Okay, all right. Okay. That's what I'm saying. Okay, I hear what you're saying. All right, so, and in one sense, she's right. To make a relationship work, take sacrifice from both people.
00:38:15
Speaker
People think that relationships are easy. Relationships are not easy. I don't know anybody that thinks that. The greatest thing that somebody ever told me was just because two people love each other doesn't mean they're meant to be together. Yes. So there's a lot of people out there. I've loved, maybe I've only really loved two women. But but I said I've loved maybe four or five. yeah Yeah. But we weren't meant to be together just because we loved each other. ah Yes, you're right. The idea that she is out here giving coaching, right? Or advice on relationships when her situation wasn't ideal. I'm not gonna say not the best. I'm gonna say not ideal. Not ideal to what people would tend to want to be in a romantic relationship. But each romantic relationship is its own
00:39:11
Speaker
life, right? And what people decide that they want to participate in in their relationship is their business. what It's kind of like pain, right? Love is pain. It's kind of like pain. Certain people could tolerate higher forms of pain than others. And it's kind of like in relationships as well. Some people are just like, hey, look, I'm not dealing with this. These are my deal burgers. I'm out. Okay, cool. That that is you setting a boundary for you. right Other people are like, I'm willing to bend on a couple of things because I want to be in a relationship where we're working together towards something. Some people want to be in a, ah what is it, a poly relationship?
00:39:56
Speaker
Yeah, polyam where they're dating multiple people like I can't identify with that. But then again, I've had a conversation with one of my friends before. Why is it that I can't identify with a poly relationship? Why would that be something that I wouldn't want to be in? in a poly relationship. I mean, if I could have two women or three women, great, but not great because that's a lot of work. And a lot of I don't want that. yeah But why why? OK, what is the reason why I would have an issue with another man being with my significant other? Is it because of a betrayal? Sure. Is it because of a territorial thing that I feel like that's my possession? Hmm.
00:40:38
Speaker
I have to like examine that and find out. what Some people are just monogamous, and that's also fine. Well, and I can't say that I was always monogamous. I am now, yeah but I haven't been in my life. So each relationship is different. And this was her relationship. I'm not going to knock her for everything that she went through to get to where she wanted to get to. Right. Congratulations to her. She got what she wanted in the end. But sheing and absolutely but you well she Well, that's not necessarily true. there There are other women out there just like her.
00:41:14
Speaker
So she does have a place in this world as far as coaching is concerned, where she doesn't have a place. what Well, that's your opinion, but everybody is entitled to their own way of life, right? Their own way of running to live. like these kinds of Christians peddling patriarchy and toxicity to people as if it's God's, as if that's God's plan for them. Well, these are different arguments though, right? Like if you're saying, well, she shouldn't be a coach at all. No, no, that's not necessarily true. Well, yeah, I mean, there's a lane for everybody. right I don't like the message.
00:41:56
Speaker
The message is... You don't like the message, but there are other people out there that do. And who's to say that you're right and they're wrong? I don't think that... What is there to be right and wrong about? If your relationship is hurting you, that's not something that... That's not in God's plan for you. Well, who we hold on. What did I just say? In every relationship, there's sacrifice and there is pain. Not like that. no How long was her pain? How long was her pain? Almost a damn year. Almost a year. How long were they married before that? Not that long. No, it was like five years. How long have they been married? Yeah. I don't think it was five years. I don't think they were married that long.
00:42:44
Speaker
It's been, in it was at least three years. She said it was early in her marriage. I don't know. Okay. Well, they've been married for six years after this event. Yes. So in totality, let's just say that they went through that year. They've been married six years after. So that's seven years. Let's say they were married a year before. So they've been married for eight years. Okay. So she suffered for a year, not even fully. It was during ah her pregnancy, which is 10 months, right? She suffered for 10 months to get to the point where eight years into it, it was 10 months of real pain. So when you look at it from that standpoint, when you look at it from a time-based standpoint, and she's happy now, who cares about that 10-month sacrifice that she had to go through? That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, you're absolutely right. He only beat my ass for two weeks. Well? So after that,
00:43:35
Speaker
He ain't beat my ass no more. So that's the what it that makes no sense to me. I don't care how long. To you. To you. But like I said, it's like a pain threshold. Each person has different levels of pain. But again, that's her own personal story. Right, so I said you're talking different things here. you're talk I'm only talking one thing. Her story, her being a coach, whatever, that's fine. My ultimate issue is with toxic Christianity, pushing this narrative onto women specifically, where there is zero accountability for the man and all of the onus of taking on the emotional labor and the healing and the forgiveness is on the woman.
00:44:18
Speaker
And the man has to do nothing but tell you he wants to come home. We're also hearing one side of the story, and you know how I am. There's her side, there's his side, and then there's the truth. Right. So we don't know what she's like as a woman. And it sounds like from this story, she's a little off-kilter. Yes, because she's talking about, she's in bed, they're in bed together and they're just, you know, holding each other or whatever. And she's telling him about all the prophetic dreams and everything. And God even used her son and all of this. And he's just like, she's like, I can tell he's just like, okay, whatever. Yeah, because he is like, okay, whatever. Because he know he got to deal with this now for the rest of his life because he's made a decision to come back.
00:45:05
Speaker
All right, but I will say that I have been in situations where I have dated women and I've met them under circumstances where I was like, oh, this must be, this must be a sign from God because I wasn't even supposed to be here at that moment to meet her at this particular time. There's been several times where I convinced myself and I don't know that they weren't, right? They may not been that lifelong relationship. yeah and They could have been a lesson. ah Right. In almost all of my relationships, there has been a lesson that I have learned. So maybe it was, you know, maybe she did get that sign and, in in you know, he didn't get it. Look.
00:45:47
Speaker
You and I both look at the situation and we both see this woman as off kilter. I'm going to say she's off kilter. yeah A little off kilter that we can't identify with it, but there's a large segment of the population that can. And who are we to tell anybody else what they should believe is right or wrong? You're saying you're coming from a... resting you Well, it's Some women, and and some people want to be oppressed. Some people want to be oppressed. And I'm trying to liberate everybody. Not everybody wants to be liberated. Like I said before in previous episodes, ignorance is bliss. There's a reason why and ignorant people are extremely happy because they don't know nothing. It's easier not to know anything and just live your life with blinders on. Some people want to be oppressed. No. Well, that's for ridiculous. I mean, we're we're using this word very,
00:46:41
Speaker
No, it's a pressure. Well, okay. Well, some people want to, right? Some people want to be under that concoon of oppression because it's comfortable. But it's the people who don't, right? there's ah It's the women who are in a situation like that, who come across her video, ho up who should be leaving, who should not be trying to hold on to somebody who clearly doesn't want to be with them or doesn't like them. Well, who who said you didn't want to be with them because she's been with her for six years after the fact?
00:47:14
Speaker
Right, because the girlfriend broke up with him. I mean, he he probably can get another girlfriend. his them Just because if he got one, he can get another one. Who says he doesn't? yeah Well, OK, maybe. i We don't know. I'm not going to talk about their specific relationship. Right, he was upfront and honest. That's the reason why I'm going to assume that he wouldn't have and an a side piece, because he was upfront and honest about the woman that he was dating when they were separated. I'm talking about the woman out there that comes across her video that thinks that she should hold on to a situation that is not serving her. And there's a lot of times in this church that they want you to hold on to situations that are not serving you, where he is beating your ass or he is cheating on you. He what he wasn't he wasn't being physically violent. No, but there I'm telling you, I've heard story after story of them going to their church home and stuff like that. And I'm gonna really need to stop covering.
00:48:08
Speaker
I'm going to really need you to stop cussing. I didn't cuss again. Yeah, you did beat my ass. That's cussing. Ass is not a cuss word. It is. Stop saying it. It is a donkey. That's not the context of what you're using it. Come on, man. Yes, I am. I'm fine. I'll call him a donkey. Stop cussing. That's all I want to say is stop cussing. I don't think I'm cussing. If everybody thinks I'm cussing, then let me know, but I don't think I'm cussing. But anyway, is and they go to their church home for advice on what to do, and they're told to stay. They're told to stick it out. They're told to stand by their vows when he's not standing by his or vice versa, okay? Because therere this is not just something that happens to women, but it's like,
00:48:56
Speaker
When are we going to say that this institution of marriage isn't enough to keep people in situations that they don't that are not serving them and that are not benefiting them? When are we going to let go of this obsession with marriage? When are we gonna let go of
00:49:25
Speaker
thinking that pain is in God's plan because- When are we gonna let go of just because you're in pain, you give up? um Bruce, I'm saying again, it's a case by case basis, but there is somebody out there- You're speaking in generalities here. You're speaking in generalities, and but you're not specifically saying- I'm saying, and if you're in a situation that does not serve you, Well, how does anybody know what serves them or doesn't serve them unless they go through the process of figuring that out? Yeah. I mean, that's always going to be a process of you trying to figure that out. Right. So the fact of the matter is nobody can really tell you what you're supposed to be doing with your life. People can give advice or coaching or counseling, but even people who are licensed therapists give wrong advice sometimes.
00:50:15
Speaker
I don't think a therapist is supposed to give you advice. ah They're supposed to help you through the process. Right. Well, yes sometimes they give you advice. Sometimes, well, I don't know. There is a toxicity within Christianity that specifically affects women. There's a toxicity in Christianity that specifically affects black people. Right? Oh, this life be over soon. Heaven lasts always. Like that kind of thing where it's like, oh, we'll get, it's okay if we suffer here, we'll get our reward in heaven. That's ridiculous. Everybody, everybody, everybody has the right to life. Everybody has the right to happiness. Everybody has the right to joy.
00:50:57
Speaker
Yes, you are coming really from sister-soldier perspectives and I get it. I respect it, but I'm just saying. And people like that are toxic. Well, it what I could honestly say your mentality on Saying the people, hey, the way you're living is toxic, is toxic, right? No, it's not. Calling out toxicity does not make me toxic. Calling out racism doesn't make me a racist. No, calling out people who want to live a certain way of life that they're happy with and saying that we're wrong for doing it is toxic. What you want to do in your personal life is fine. What I'm telling you is you don't have a right to be telling other people when your stuff ain't straight.
00:51:45
Speaker
She felt like her stuff was straight. She was talking from an experience of, hey, look, I sold your throat. And you don't have the right to tell people that this is God's plan for them because you don't know what that plan is. I don't know what that plan is. Right. You say God's plan for me, as I see it, this is what happened. His plan for you might be different, but have faith. I guess you could say that.
00:52:11
Speaker
I guess you could say that. I'm saying, look, six years later, they still together. Yeah, it's a whole lot of people that are still together.
Critique of Prosperity Gospel
00:52:20
Speaker
This part was not supposed to go this long. Well, you asked me to talk about it. I did ask you to talk about it. You can always cut it out and put it someplace else then. No, I'm not. Hey, don't get mad at me. You said that specifically. And you said, I want to see what your thought process is. And I also said it didn't need to be for the show. I just wanted to see what you thought about it. And of course, you're going to be devil's advocate, which is what you always do and take a position that is not even a position that you believe in, just so you could be contrary. No. This is what I truly, truly believe.
00:52:57
Speaker
That's ridiculous. I don't have the right to tell anybody how to live their life. And I won't tell anybody how to live their life. I will only tell people. If you see somebody in a situation that is not serving them, you do not love that person if you don't say nothing. No, that's not that's not true. Now, what I have done in the past when I see people in situations that are not serving them from my perspective, I don't say, because they're not going to listen to me anyway. I don't say, hey, this isn't serving you, because it that's not what they want to hear. I just point out certain stuff.
00:53:38
Speaker
say, hey, did you look at this? Or, hey, what do you think about this? But you say something. I say something, but I don't say, hey, this isn't serving you. Because I don't think that's effective. I know for a fact. Yeah. I mean, a lot of people don't even understand what that means. Like, don't even understand what that kind of language means. And and what I may think is not serving them might not be right. I feel like there's always a line. Yeah, there are clear cut things. We're like, hey, man, yeah you about to die if you keep going in this situation. Right. And then, yes, then you say something and you try to help that person. But up until that point, which is an extreme situation, up until that point,
00:54:22
Speaker
It's not ah then people personal marriage that's your marriage like yeah and not up me to tell people how to live their lives because I want nobody telling me how to live my life. The only thing I ever tell people is If you're so entrenched on one side, take a step back, deep breath, and then attempt to see the other side. So you say I'm a devil's advocate. And yes, I am, but it's just my attempt to try and make to try to understand the other perspective. Yeah, but the devil don't need an advocate. And who said it's the devil? Because it that it's called the devil is devil's advocate.
00:55:02
Speaker
Yeah, I know that, but who said that that's being the devil's advocate? Who says it's the devil's work that's behind it? If you don't want to devil's advocate, okay you just do that. You just do that out there. You just said, yes, I am a devil's advocate. And I was like, well, the devil. OK, but I was. Oh, come on. You know it. Jackass. You know what I am. Gentlemen versus Dunn is officially done with scarf station. Yes.
00:55:35
Speaker
But it's the same issue I have as the last thing I said about it. It's the same issue I have with prosperity gospel. That thing is, you know, if you pray, the Lord will get you there. He'll work it out. Jesus will work it out. How are you going to pay your rent? All this stuff. And the the implication is that that's the song. How are you going to pay your rent when all your money's spent? You know, like that Jesus is working out, right? The problem with that is the implication is if my stuff ain't working out, I'm not praying hard enough.
00:56:08
Speaker
Or I don't know God enough. Well, maybe you don't. No. is's Because there are people who have things who don't pray. And there are people who don't have things who pray all the time. So this none ah none of that is an indicator of our closeness with God or. Maybe they're not praying right. The devil don't need an advocate. He don't. Look, look, this is the end of the show. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you. Thank you for 150 episodes, because I'm through with my sister right now. I'm through with her. But too bad, we still got more work to do. So go ahead. Typically, I would kick it back to her and say, hey, what do you want to say to the people out there? She just said enough. Y'all been heard a lot from her perspective. I said two things. You ain't said no two damn things. You said a whole lot of things.
00:57:02
Speaker
And now you got me cussing on the episode. Ladies and gentlemen, you didn't cuss. I said damn. That's not a cuss word. Well, okay. Lane, gentlemen, we're not going to argue about what's a cuss word and what's not a cuss word, but once again... I think we should have the debate. I think we should talk about it. I'm done with this
Episode Reflection and Thanks
00:57:20
Speaker
debate. Look, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening. Thank you for watching. Thank you for supporting us. 150, and we're going to do 150 more. My sister did not think that we was actually going to make it to this point because she didn't know how determined and driven her brother was.
00:57:36
Speaker
She thought it was like, we're going to do a couple of episodes, and then Bruce will be disinterested in it. yeah We won't have to do it no more. And now she's stuck for the rest of her life doing these shows. And eventually, we're going to make some real money off this show. But that's not the reason why we do it. The reason why we do it is to give people an unsolicited perspective and a new way of thinking on life. That's what it is. OK. I agree with that. There's a lot of hubris and a in that. We think that we're the people to give you that perspective. ah air but There's a lot of people out there that think that, but hey, love people that want to to change things, have to have a little bit of an ego.
00:58:20
Speaker
We are not narcissistic in any way, but do we have a little bit of ego and then think that, hey, maybe there's one or two people out there that'll listen to something that we said that it might think a little bit differently or open their minds to something else or a different possibility and and way alike. hey we won that's what we want right this is just inspire people to think about things in a new way so thank you thank you for rocking with us and we'll keep going thank you for listening thank you for watching and until next time as always
00:58:58
Speaker
That was a hell of a show. Thank you for rocking with us here on Unsolicited Perspectives with Bruce Anthony. Now before you go, don't forget to follow, subscribe, like, comment, and share our podcast wherever you're listening or watching into it. Pass it along to your friends. If you enjoy it, that means the people that you rock with will enjoy it also. So share the wealth, share the knowledge, share the noise. And for all those people that say, well, I don't have a YouTube. If you have a Gmail account, you have a YouTube. Subscribe to our YouTube channel when you can actually watch our video podcast. But the real party is on our Patreon page. After Hours Unsister and Talk is Straight-ish. After Hours Unsister is another show with my sister. And once again, the key word there is uncensored because we're exclusively on our Patreon page. a fa reach to Jump onto our website at unsourcingperspective.com for all things to us. That's where you can get all of our audio, video, our blogs, and even buy our merch. And if you're really feeling generous and want to help us out, you can donate on our donations page. Donations go strictly to improving our software and hardware so we can keep giving you guys good content that you can clearly listen to and that you can clearly see. So any donation would be appreciated.
01:00:11
Speaker
Most importantly, I want to say thank you, thank you, thank you for listening and watching and supporting us. And I'll catch you next time. Audi 5000. Peace.