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Female Action Heroes
58 Plays3 months ago
Join Shelly and Michael as we talk Omar about his root: female action heroes. We also discuss his (erroneous) dislike of The Goonies, Batgirl's apartment, his childhood in Puerto Rico, and his life now as a Chief Petty Officer.
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:01:07
Speaker
Welcome, welcome to Your Roots Are Showing, the podcast where Michael and I talk about being unapologetically queer, no as well as the moments that got us and our guests to where we are today.
Exploring Female Action Figures
00:01:20
Speaker
And today we are peeling back the layers or Omar, maybe I should say we're digging through the storage bin units of female action figures.
00:01:31
Speaker
We're gonna do that with our pal Omar tonight.
Tactile Experience with Action Figures
00:01:33
Speaker
And we're going to include all of the weird tactile sensations of sorting through said bins of plastic. That's probably over 25 years.
00:01:42
Speaker
Probably.
Omar's Queer Journey
00:01:43
Speaker
Yeah. In this conversation, we're going to talk about the roots that shaped Omar's queerness, the turning points that guided his journey, and all the pit stops along the way.
00:01:54
Speaker
Omar. There are pit starts. Pitstarts, Pitstops. Pitstops and Pitstarts. Right. ah Hi. Thank you so much for joining us tonight. Thank you. Thank you for having me.
00:02:05
Speaker
I'm partial to Whistle Stops. but Oh, yeah. I do love a good Whistle Stop tour of your gay life. Do you like know that, so the Whistle Stop Cafe, famously from Fanny Flag, is that her name? Fanny Flag's Yeah. Fried green tomatoes.
00:02:23
Speaker
Mallory and I used to think that we would love to own a cafe called Two Lady Lesbians and a Tomato. OK. Right. Because. Right. So whistle stops, two lady lesbians and Omar.
00:02:37
Speaker
And no cannibalism. And this tomato. yeah Yeah. And that little tomato. The Pomodoro.
00:02:47
Speaker
ah So Omar, introduce yourself with anything you think we need to know. could include how you know us, um where you're from, what you do, your pronouns, just all the things that you want to share just off the top.
00:03:06
Speaker
All right, off the top. Well, like I said, my name is
Omar's Background and Travels
00:03:10
Speaker
Omar. um I was born and raised in Puerto Rico, but Kansas became my home. I spent a good 10 years, 10 formative years over there, which is where I know you guys from.
00:03:24
Speaker
Pronouns are he, him.
00:03:28
Speaker
Of course, unless I'm kicking with my gay guys and then everyone's a she.
00:03:34
Speaker
i I left Kansas 14 years ago, almost, when I joined the the Navy, the military, in active duty. And that has taken me around the States and a little bit around the world.
Comic Books and Creative Writing
00:03:50
Speaker
And that's what I do. Comic book collector, writing aficionado, husband, dog daddy. That's the highlights.
00:04:02
Speaker
So you say 10 formative years in Kansas, so that would put you there like 2002 to 2012? Exactly. Oh, wow. Okay. i used to teach English, so when I do something, when I am math well, I feel pretty good. So thanks. Also, I want to point out that you called yourself a dog daddy. And honestly, i just think of you as a daddy, period. In general. It's more like a zaddy, I want to say. Yes, Omar, daddy.
00:04:32
Speaker
i love that. I love that. Yeah, the big papa smurf energy. That's fine. I love that. Yes. um Okay, so Omar, serious question. You said that you were a comic book collector and writing aficionado?
00:04:47
Speaker
do do Do you write comics? Do you write about the comics? What are you doing? Well, I have actually always gravitated towards writing.
00:04:58
Speaker
It's just, I mean, the same thing that got me in the military, are just more practical than anything else. um So I was never want
Queer-themed Writing and Life Planning
00:05:06
Speaker
to like quit my day job and go do something artistic, heaven forbid. ah But funny, I guess i guess maybe we didn't cover this the last time I saw you in person, but for the last three years, I have actually been getting my master's in creative writing.
00:05:25
Speaker
Yeah, from online. And I'm actually working on my thesis and right now and wrapping it up this this some this spring. yeah Does your thesis have anything to do with create or excuse me comic book writing or a specific like genre or timestamp?
00:05:46
Speaker
No, ah but it is queer. That means I'm going to want to read it. Okay. yeah No, actually, I do have to circle back with you about all that later on.
00:06:03
Speaker
Oh, fine. Okay, yes. Okay, so that's off pod when we just catch up. yeah Yeah. Yes, okay. Off pod. love that. maybe Maybe the spinoff show, since I'm the ideas man, is just going to be called Off Pod. So that's the spinoff.
00:06:18
Speaker
um So getting on pod. Go ahead. I was just saying that I kept thinking of what I would do with my life after the Navy. And I might end up going back to teaching. But ah getting this degree was always on top of that list. But then I realized, why am I going to wait seven, six more years when I'm in my 50s to do this? Let me knock it out now so that I can have you know a plan.
00:06:46
Speaker
And of course, I wanted to study and do this for myself. Obviously, creative writing is not helping me. in any way for my career. ah Yeah.
00:06:57
Speaker
That's fair. Writing is one of those things where it's like, unless you're ah George R.R. Martin martins or like Ashley Blake, you're you're not gonna make a lot of you're not going to make a lot of money doing the writing stuff. But I do want to, so you were born and raised right in Puerto
Life in Puerto Rico and NYC
00:07:20
Speaker
Rico. I wanted to just ask you about as your time in Puerto Rico, how long were you in Puerto Rico and are any of the roots that you told us about in your pre-pod assignment, um did they start anywhere there with your lady action figures and your adventure movies?
00:07:42
Speaker
ah Yes, all of that was there. I lived i left Puerto Rico when I was 21 for the first time. um and not to Not to add to the off-pod conversation, but ah briefly, briefly, I was 21, 2001, graduated with my bachelor's, went to New York City, because that's where every Puerto Rican has family.
00:08:07
Speaker
And... Two weeks after I got there, September 11 happened. Oh, Jesus. Oh, wow. So I went back to the island with my tail between my legs. And it wasn't until a year later that I attempted again.
Childhood Memories and Action Figures
00:08:23
Speaker
And this time I went to Kansas because I had a friend from college down there that she was from, from Wichita, actually.
00:08:29
Speaker
Oh, wow. Okay. i I never knew any of that. So explain to me, Omar, what your life was like back in Puerto Rico, growing up, watching. I mean, so full disclosure, Omar mentioned that one of his major roots in his pre-pod assignment was Tila from He-Man, right? The head sorceress of...
00:08:53
Speaker
Castle Grayskull, right? am i Am I getting that right? Yeah, yeah. it's ah It's just the first thing that came to my mind when I was little. Of course, I'm not unique in having played with the you know Master of the Universe and Hima and everything.
00:09:08
Speaker
But um of course, she was my favorite. And I played with her Why? Well, because she was a girl. She was fierce. um True. True. She was she was great.
00:09:22
Speaker
um Also, she had a different type of articulation in her body, the way that the figure was made. And I i have thought about this, and I do think it it's a gender thing.
00:09:36
Speaker
oh because instead of you know the typical articulation and of course listeners can't maybe see the visuals but you know you have your joints and the arms or legs just move up and down in a circular motion but her legs were actually independent pieces that were tied together in the center with a like a rubber band that went through her coccyx, basically.
00:10:05
Speaker
yeah And the reason I say... I said G.I. Joe. i I wouldn't know, Michael. I wouldn't know. Well, I've looked between a lot of the legs of G.I. Joes as a kid. So, yeah, there's rubber band in there. But the reason I say yeah i think it's a gendered issue because i think maybe that was meant for her to kick higher, you know, like girly fighters are supposed to do. oh Okay. Okay.
00:10:28
Speaker
Instead of punches, you know, you can kick and the leg can go up because she's a girl. i don't know. Yeah. um More flexibility, obviously. Yeah, more flexibility. So she was more that right there to me made it a lot more fascinating.
00:10:42
Speaker
And ah that was the first thing to break. So... The rubber band snapped. Yeah, little little poor five-year-old Omar with a broken Tila and one leg in each hand.
00:11:02
Speaker
mom Your Tila's showing and it's broken. Yeah. Yeah. No, I love
Cartoons and Cultural Icons
00:11:11
Speaker
this. So did you come home from school every day and watch your episodes of He-Man or was there like an afterschool ritual for you or was it Saturday mornings? Yeah.
00:11:22
Speaker
I watched cartoons about every chance I got. Okay. But um a lot of He-Man and later She-Ra, I remember not even after school. I mean, some of that was, um I mean, I think He-Man started in 83 through 84. Okay. I mean, 83 through 85. I was in...
00:11:39
Speaker
and mean eighty three through eighty five and i was in kindergarten at four in 1984.
00:11:50
Speaker
So by 1983, I have memories of watching He-Man at home during the day when mom is doing her household chores and I'm just there being raised by the TV.
00:12:03
Speaker
Perfect. I just want you to know I watched all of my um cartoons. I binged them on Saturday morning. Saturday morning cartoons. And I had a thing where I would camp on Friday nights and I would put my sleeping bag on the floor, not on the couch because comfort didn't matter to me, but on the floor. And I would put the pillow right next to the base of the couch so that, and I would sleep with the remote control right next to me so that in the morning on Saturday, as soon as I woke up, all I had to do was shift my pillow from like on the floor
00:12:44
Speaker
to up against the back of the co or the you know like the foot of the couch, reach for the remote and ready, set, go. And what is the name of that cartoon?
00:12:55
Speaker
i obviously watched He-Man. i Yes, He-Man. And do want you to know, Omar, I did go back and watch a couple of episodes of He-Man just to remind myself.
00:13:07
Speaker
And I don't think I ever put two and two together. Like, yes, I knew Adam that was, Adam was He-Man. I knew that. Okay. But thinking back on it now as, you know, like a 47 year old adult, I never realized that it was just a total riff off of Superman. Oh, you think so? got that.
00:13:31
Speaker
Are you kidding me? Like, Tila is Lois Lane. Oh, I don't know that I've seen comics. Who can kick? Yeah. Oh, okay. So you are clearly much more, you know, averse, not averse, much more well-versed. Yeah. You're not averse to comics. That's, let's make that clear. But you're much more well-versed. So going to take your expert opinion here. No, they're not the same. But going back and re-watching them this last week, I was like, is this just Superman? Yeah.
00:14:03
Speaker
Well, they had the whole secret identity thing, which was almost mandatory for any type of hero persona, ah comic book or otherwise. But I think, of course, the main inspiration for something like He-Man was things like Conan the Barbarian, and ah except more sophisticated. Yeah.
00:14:24
Speaker
Well, because he's not ah he's ah he's a prince, you know, but actually the comic book origins of He-Man, he's actually very much a barbarian.
He-Man's Comic Book Transformation
00:14:33
Speaker
yeah Really? Oh, yeah. A lot changed for the television audience. So the television program started in 83, you said.
00:14:42
Speaker
How far back do the comic books go? Well, I say comic books, but they were really... This is getting really deep. like ah No, I love this. I love this. These were mini comics is what they were called.
00:14:55
Speaker
And they were simply in the package for toys. This was all based on toys, selling toys. So the toys came with a little mini comic story about the character you were you know playing with. oh So the popularity of the toys later made it so that there was a TV show.
00:15:16
Speaker
okay so So at this age, so you're kindergarten, five, six, four, five, six, seven, did you have any inkling or idea that like, hey, I'm different or I feel um some certain way of otherness and maybe there's, because I'm kind of seeing this like subconscious thing where you're like, oh, this character has two identities or I have two identities.
00:15:42
Speaker
maybe I'm too different, you know the the different, you know there's me who's like supposed to be the boy who plays with these hero toys, but why am I, but then there's this female character that I can right identify with because she likes those because she also she also swoons at masculinity, i don't know. Right, right. not yeah Yes, i I knew I was,
00:16:07
Speaker
gay, queer, even though we didn't have the words for it. But since I was four or five, I was pretty aware that something was not computing. um I wouldn't say the a secret identity or double persona was a thing.
00:16:25
Speaker
ah but Probably because at that age I wasn't hiding anything necessarily. thats so i didn't I didn't have anything to hide just yet. the The world had not beaten that out of me.
00:16:40
Speaker
But I definitely gravitated more towards all the things, female and feminine. as Because it's almost almost like they're like the term we use now of peacocking, you know, and which makes perfect sense. And we see this in nature.
00:16:55
Speaker
it i I couldn't understand, you know, why would you, yes, we like He-Man, but look at Shira, she's something else. Oh my God. You know, everything is' female just seems so much more interesting.
00:17:11
Speaker
oh yeah I felt very validated later in college when a professor taught me the phrase, I'm sure you might know this, and I'm butchering the French, but you know the church ร la femme, you know, follow follow the lady, and basically, if there's not a lady around in the story, it's no good.
00:17:32
Speaker
Right. and And there's also like a kind of a I don't know, say stereotype or trope or whatever you want to say, where it's like the gay guy is always like BFF with the hottest, most powerful chick in the room.
00:17:45
Speaker
Yeah. Or like, you know, it's like that, that kind of connection of, um I guess, heteronormative women and queer men.
00:17:55
Speaker
that kind of that kind of bond. Yeah, like who was your Sigourney Weaver? Yeah. yeah a Strong woman. Like when
Honesty and Family Reactions
00:18:06
Speaker
were you told to hide this? Or when do you feel like the sort of the message from the world was like, oh, can't do that anymore?
00:18:15
Speaker
Well, around that same age. Yeah. I think I was four. And I i know I just said this is not a therapy session and I don't need to get beat. No, no, no, no.
00:18:28
Speaker
But um me and my sister, who's just a year older than me, I would convince her to play, you know, play act with me, superheroes and stuff.
00:18:40
Speaker
And even though, as you know, Shelley, I adore all things Wonder Woman, because my sister had the long black hair, I'm like, you you be Wonder Woman.
00:18:51
Speaker
I'm going to be, I'm going to be Batgirl. And okay that's that's that's bringing other memories. um From the 1960s TV show, I adored Yvonne Craig's performance of Batgirl. I love that she had an apartment by herself.
00:19:08
Speaker
I love that she had a secret room in that. um in that closet and then she would become bad girl with the red hair and the purple and kicking around so we would play around and when my father ah you know caught us and and I was I guess unapologetically bad girl ah he had ah sat me on his workbench and he was asking me
00:19:39
Speaker
to be honest, and to, you know, tell him what I was doing, and that I was in trouble, and of course, I believe him. And I said that we were playing and that I was Batgirl, and that's when he wet me around the my legs.
00:19:55
Speaker
And... the But I don't remember any kind of hurt. All I remember was the, like, you know, the break of, the break of, the breach of trust. Yeah, the warning sign. Yeah. Right, of like, oh, oh, so this is how it is going to, okay, okay, like, wow, I am never going to trust another adult ever. Well, but also, I mean, it was, like, a ah jolting moment for you. Like, yeah I'm being totally honest, and here's this, like,
00:20:26
Speaker
I thought you were going to be honest, but that's not what we're doing here, I guess. Right, right. And I guess what what people in, I mean, I'm not a parent, I can't relate on that nature, but it We all know the answer, right? That that did not make me want to play act bad girl any less. That made me talk to him a lot less and trust him with nothing. you know So did you keep playing um like comic book stuff with your sister?
00:20:59
Speaker
I mean, was she like not that I remember? ah No, that that was probably a rare instance that I just roped her into into it. We kind of kept separate agendas. You're like, you look the part, you're hired. Come on.
00:21:15
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Honestly, I only hire her because of her looks. Yeah. That's fair. It happens to us all. Yeah. Yeah. um So other than Tila, are there any other, like, I know that you love Wonder Woman.
00:21:31
Speaker
You are a self-proclaimed Wonder Womanette, which is probably a new term that I've just coined. Yeah. yeah Right. of A Wonder Womanette. Are there any other like action heroes that you are like, I don't know, excited about or that you were excited about at that time?
00:21:51
Speaker
Well, that were truly pivotal, I would say. not Not more than Wonder Woman, Batgirl, and She-Ra, so to speak. Everyone else was sort of there. Like, you know, there's Supergirl, but she's just, there's Superman. There's Catwoman, she's, man, you know. yeah Too he sexy.
00:22:12
Speaker
I mean, going to agree with you entirely on that. And then I'm also going to add... Batgirl was super sexy too in that 1960s live action with Adam West. Yeah, i I mean, God, yes, please sign me up. and And to be fair, she she's also the derivative of Batman, just like I complained about Supergirl.
00:22:33
Speaker
But I think because of that TV show, She, to me, was the epitome of what I wanted to be Wonder Woman was very unreachable, right? Because that's like an ideal. god it but And you don't have a lasso at this point. So forget about it.
00:22:51
Speaker
he yeah Forget about it. But as as much as we might think, oh, the the femininity or the queerness would be a superhero. Honestly, the thing that i gravitated the most towards her was her apartment. I mean, it it almost was like my first example of like, you can be a single, hardworking, independent adult.
00:23:15
Speaker
Right. With a really cool closet that turns into your little Batgirl cave. Celebrate that closet. Like, come out of I'm going to move into it. What are you talking about? Get in. Find a secret Batcave. It's fine.
00:23:29
Speaker
Does Batgirl have a similar story to Batman? I don't really know. Like, was there like a traumatic moment for her? Or, like, was she, you know, found by a bunch of bats after past? parents were murdered in the and and and ah in ah an alley? or What was her origin story?
00:23:49
Speaker
well curious. Well, that version of Bad Girl is the the daughter of the police commissioner. And she actually, i mean, since you ask and you bring it up, she actually does stand out compared to Batman and Robin that she doesn't have a dead parent or a... She actually does what she does more out of altruism then um
00:24:20
Speaker
than working out some kind of trauma. Yeah. Okay. Gotcha, gotcha. No, I love this. I love this. So you've got your action figures, right? You've got your time in Puerto Rico, right? You're growing up. you're let's Let's fast forward from age four, five, six.
00:24:41
Speaker
to age 16, 17, 18, 19, like before you move to New York, are you still comic booking? Are you still like, you also mentioned that you really love these teen adventure movies, like Blue Lagoon, Goonies, Return to the Wizard of Oz, those kinds of things.
00:25:02
Speaker
did Are those two things, action figures and adventure movies, combined in your head? Or are they like two separate moments in the coming out of your queerness?
00:25:16
Speaker
Well, ah oh it's... it's it's ah all sort of separate conversations. And I knew the the images I gave you my new explanation.
00:25:27
Speaker
ah The Blue Lagoon goes hand in hand with what I was saying that I i knew right away that I was gay from four or five years old because don't think I saw there are probably some clips of it here on TV, but just the image of that, Christopher Atkins, you know, yeah naked, it nubile, young, blonde,
00:25:50
Speaker
in the beach. I mean, to me, was like a rest thing. And I know that I was too young to to be like... I mean, I don't know. Freud might have something to say. I don't know how sexual you can say that a four five-year-old can be.
00:26:06
Speaker
But it I guess it wasn't it wasn't like I was ah lascivious or lusting over this image. But it was more like oh, like a pretty boy. Like I wanted to see that. i want I feel like almost like when when little girls see some a woman that looks like a Barbie and then they walk towards her, you know, because that's the image. to me that To me, that was like the Christopher Atkins, you know, ah in a loincloth, you know, beautiful, young and blonde. yeah To me, that was like, I want to go to there. Yeah, take me to there. I want to go to there. Take me the movie like a, yeah.
00:26:49
Speaker
So just to be clear then, like your interest in that movie was less about like his interaction with Brooke Shields and more just about him or like less about their survival on the island or just, you just like the eye candy?
00:27:08
Speaker
Oh, Brooke Shields was in it? Just kidding. Okay, that was my question. she That was my question. she ok oh yeah Yes, no, it was strictly eye candy, strictly like a male ideal and a kind of in print situation. yeah Because honestly, even for this even to this day, a naked blonde on the beach would go for me. Okay, fair enough, fair enough.
00:27:36
Speaker
Yeah, but you probably don't get that very often where you're at right now, do you? Unfortunately. no No. Yeah, that they usually are arrested shortly after you witness them, so.
00:27:46
Speaker
Yeah. Anymore. Yeah, there's that. There's that. Now, however, ah this is where I might hijack your podcast and turn it into an 80s movie podcast.
00:28:01
Speaker
I'm here for that. Yes, please. As I discuss the Goonies. Okay. and not in a positive way, I'm sad to say.
00:28:12
Speaker
I wasn't seeing that. I didn't see that coming. in Did not see that coming. I actually hate the Goonies. Okay. I really hate the Goonies.
00:28:23
Speaker
And so, Return to Oz was the movie that I really wanted to see when it came out. Based on The Wizard of Oz, it looked full of Jim Hansen stuff, right? The Muppets, puppetry, love it. Mm-hmm.
00:28:39
Speaker
Um... So my father takes us to the movie theaters to see Return to Oz, because I've been pestering about it. And, you know, this is the 80, 1985, the days before the megaplexes and everything is playing.
00:28:55
Speaker
So it's, ah ah you know, small town, one screen, maybe two screen. We go to the theater and when we get there, Return to Oz is not playing.
00:29:08
Speaker
Shut up. But we're already out. You know, the whole family's out. we you Might as well take the kids. Let's watch the Goonies. I had zero interest in watching the Goonies. And the fact that it it usurped my dream of watching Return to Oz, I sat through the entire Goonies with my arms crossed and a puss face, and I was hate-watching it from beginning to end.
00:29:38
Speaker
I hate this for a little Omar. It's okay. It's okay. oh and And I will say this, right? Every every parent has redeeming qualities. My father took me to see Return to Walls the very next day because he knew the colossal mistake he he made. You know, the actor who played Sloth, like actually IRL, is ah like was kind of an attractive like bear guy.
00:30:09
Speaker
I'm just going to put that out there. Like just go. I typed in Goonies cast. and I was like, who is that guy? Turns out it was a Sloth.
00:30:19
Speaker
Who knew? i don't remember almost much of it except that I hated it. However, I will say this, right? And you got me thinking about this too, Shelley, when you were asking me the homework for the podcast.
00:30:31
Speaker
that That's the main reason I hated that movie on the surface, right? Mm-hmm. But here's here's a deeper meaning, right? Why I didn't care to watch it even before I did is because that movie was not for me.
00:30:46
Speaker
That movie did not look like it was for me. And i That is because... it was a group of boys, a group of, of, you know, cis, mostly white, heterosexual coded, you know, just your average, your gang of boys having fun together.
00:31:08
Speaker
And that to me was a foreign concept, was a scary concept. And something that actually i carried, through my life and maybe even today, like if there's a group of men that I don't know that it's potentially most likely straight, you know, my my senses are in the high alert. You know, that's not a place that I'm necessarily going feel safe right away. So everything about the Goonies was, there was nothing queer about it, right? And that,
00:31:46
Speaker
You know, you're we're we're talking about things that shaped us or the things that make us who who we are. But I feel like it's this is an example of recognizing who you are by ah selecting or noticing the things that you are not.
00:32:03
Speaker
Right. now Oh, I see. Okay. like Like a reverse process of elimination. You know, like I know I'm different because I see this group of guys.
00:32:14
Speaker
And I don't see me. Like, this is this is not me. This is not, I don't belong in this clique of boys. um So, real quick, real quick so there's like that there's like that moment, but now you're in the military.
00:32:29
Speaker
like Like, I can't think of a bigger clique of guys than the Navy. Yeah, in the Navy. Well, um I will start that by saying it has been a bit lonely 14 years. no Okay, okay.
00:32:48
Speaker
Is it because you feel like they are the Goonies squad and you're Batgirl? I mean, like, for and for lack of a better metaphor. Yeah, in many ways. And however, however I will say that it it is a little different now because...
00:33:11
Speaker
Of course, i for example, it's not like when you're young or you're in school and you see the clique that you don't belong to, then what does that mean for the rest of your school life?
00:33:24
Speaker
That can be very isolating. I was already 32 when I joined the military. So um there was also a sense of being separated from others, not so much for my queerness, but also for my age.
00:33:38
Speaker
And like I can say, the big pop-up of energy, like there was a lot that, you know, folks were, ah were nice to me that, you know, we, we, I liked them. They liked me. But at the end of the day, this was a group of 20 years old that are going to go on like And I'm like, you know what?
00:33:56
Speaker
Go on, have fun. I'll and i'll wait here. Yeah. I'll be your DD if you need me. Just give me a call. No judgment. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I totally get that. I think i was like that even at age 20. I think I've always been the mama bear. And, you know, i think it's interesting that you're saying that, because that was one thing I actually wanted to make sure that I asked you about was what was bootcamp like at age?
00:34:27
Speaker
I mean, I was kind of guesstimating you were around age 30, just from how I know you. Yeah. Yeah. 32. knowing that you're getting like my high school graduates, um,
00:34:39
Speaker
coming to, like, you've already lived a life. Right. You already know who you are. These are people coming out of high school who probably, in a lot of ways, don't know who they are. Absolutely.
00:34:54
Speaker
um That can be a challenge, but um I had a blast going through boot camp, even though I was 32. I mean, I was able to do it. Part of me always wanted to do it, regardless of service. I almost i almost would have done it kind of kind of like uh you know when uh rich ladies go somewhere for you know like losing weight or whatever body holiday okay yeah like a farm uh under different circumstances i would have signed up for the the boot camp experience just to see if you can do it i mean if the if the military didn't have an age gap
00:35:35
Speaker
or like an age cap rather. yeah i yeah You know, like what a great opportunity to catch. I mean, minus all the other things. But age aside, I mean, there's always, there's always people that are more fit than you, younger than you.
00:35:50
Speaker
But then I also see the 20 year olds, you know, who maybe smoke or don't, they take their youth for granted. And, uh, And I can outperform them in some things. So I'm like, you know what? I don't feel bad about myself.
00:36:04
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. So like coming, we kind of did a bit of a jump, like between like 14 and 32. there's a theme here though. Like we're talking about, you are surviving, you are making your
Moving to New York City
00:36:21
Speaker
own way. You're finding yourself to that, that ideal place. Um, um,
00:36:27
Speaker
I don't know if you necessarily would consider yourself like an underdog, but like, what was, what is the journey between, okay, i want to leave. I'm getting out of, I'm getting out of here. I'm going to go find my Batgirl apartment and you decide you're going to New York city.
00:36:45
Speaker
no no, no, no. I want to skip New York city because I want you to tell me about how you found your Batgirl apartment in Wichita, Kansas. okay That's what I want to hear. Yes.
00:36:57
Speaker
ah Well, I, so I had this good friend. Um, she was in Puerto Rico trolling for Puerto Ricans and, um,
00:37:10
Speaker
We, you know, we became very good friends. Typical, you know, heterosexual woman and gay guy relationship. um Her name is Tila.
00:37:23
Speaker
Huh? Is it her name was Tila? No. i wish No, her name might as well have been Grace and call me Will. Okay. Perfect. I love it. Okay. All right. um So i I finished earlier, or I finished before she did.
00:37:40
Speaker
And the so she was like, okay, we're kind of like, well, if you're gone, maybe I'll be gone too. So she actually transferred back to Wichita and finished her degree from Wichita State with the credits she had from down there.
00:37:55
Speaker
So we you know we stayed in touch. um And after I went back to Puerto Rico in 2001, and I was unemployed, and this was this was after September 11, not that it affected Puerto Rico all that much, but...
00:38:13
Speaker
um let Actually, let me let me tell you this other story. that kind of could It could dovetail into the the Navy as well. When I was in New York and after nine eleven had happened, and you know there was all this swell of support for the first responders, and cops were everywhere, and and people were you know nervous but also very appreciative, and you know the cops around were great.
00:38:42
Speaker
ah at that time yeah and and i was still trying to make it there like i wasn't thinking of leaving right away and i'm going through you know the ads and stuff and i saw something for like um a security guard you know and i i kind of mentioned it out loud and my cousins kind of guffawed at me And they're like, no, well there's no way you can be a security guard. And I i took offense to that. I was like, you know you don't know what I'm capable of. yeah
00:39:19
Speaker
And the so that kind of struck a nerve with me. And when I went back to Puerto Rico, I actually started the process To join the police academy. wow Oh, man. It's because your name backwards is Rambo. It's like Rambo, but like a little less lethal.
00:39:42
Speaker
It's definitely one of those things that, you know, what might have been, and I'm glad it didn't pan out, but the process was... insane and I really i don't know if they were clocking me as queer and they just didn't want me but the process took months it just is stressed out and I took physical tests that I passed of course, because I was 22.
00:40:08
Speaker
I took, had, you know, background checks and all that. I had a degree, so I was looking to the, yeah go through the academy, but then also come out as a detective, you know, not just a B cop.
Police Academy in Puerto Rico
00:40:22
Speaker
And so the process was so long. a year had already, like, was coming by, like, the anniversary of 9-11, and I still did not know if if I'm selected for the next step, like what's happened. I think the last thing I did was, uh, not a polygraph. I think it was an interview with a psychiatrist or something like a personality test. Like an evaluation.
Military Involvement and Repeal of DADT
00:40:47
Speaker
Yeah. And I never heard, well, if, if I heard back from them, I wouldn't know because I left the island shortly after that. I like to think that I passed. Yeah. yeah Um, of course but yeah, that, that never panned out. And, um,
00:41:02
Speaker
And of course, later, not to keep jumping back to 32, but when I joined the Navy, you have to remember that was on the heels of Don't Ask, Don't Tell being repealed. Right. Gross, yeah. So, you know, I never had anything against that type of work. um I actually, i also had ah an image, when we're talking about our my divas when I was younger and the action figures, I forgot to mention also folks like, you know, I Dream of Jeannie or Bewitched, you know, these women with power. yeah And i am like I grew up with the image of Major Anthony Nelson in my home since I was little. So...
00:41:42
Speaker
So I saw military men with some respect as far as like they're educated, they're smart, they they do things, they're you ah productive members of society who have beautiful houses too. That's a common thing. I always gravitated towards characters that had good houses. Yeah. Well, the interior. I mean, i think that that's in that's a interesting, like the interior space, like what's going on. I mean, I'm an English major too. So like you give me one little tiny bit of symbolism here. I'm going to run a little bit. Those interior spaces, right? Like yeah what's going on on the inside? What is, where do we get to retreat to? What does it mean to make a beautiful like space?
00:42:20
Speaker
But I also think, I also think what's really beautiful here is that you're being drawn to this figure uh like these figures of power right that have some level of control but they're not just brute force no they're actually more nuanced it's yeah like major nelson you know he is you know really amazing and strong and, but also very smart.
00:42:49
Speaker
He was a scientist. Yeah. He's a scientist and he's also somebody who's very like, yes, he is the pratfall on a lot of jokes, but he's not so like iron fist when it comes to his home.
00:43:05
Speaker
It is really like a partnership there. Um, so I really appreciate this. Like want to be somebody strong and powerful. who is more nuanced than just strong and powerful. And I think that just goes back to like Tila and Batgirl. Like these are, i mean, Batgirl is brilliant. Like she's not an idiot.
00:43:31
Speaker
right um Yeah. So i Oh, thank you, Omar, for making that a big circle. Yeah. The big circle. That was beautiful. i love that. And in that circle,
00:43:43
Speaker
I think maybe Michael's got game for you. dad dada Wait, no, no, no, Michael. You know we have, right you know we have.
00:43:54
Speaker
our cue the game show song and it's your favorite. All righty, Shelley. Cue the game show. Yeah, it's a ballpark. Ballpark. After our short, just our short time talking here, I'm pretty sure you might hit all of these out of the park.
00:44:09
Speaker
All right. Are you ready, Omar? I know you did. You like make them super hard and I was like, no. but Okay, are you ready? It's not math, is it? No, there are four questions. They're multiple choice.
00:44:22
Speaker
And they all um The name that kind of came up with it was 80s Obscure Female Action Figure Quiz.
00:44:33
Speaker
Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Just we're going to start at home base. Okay. the 1985 She-Ra Princess line...
00:44:42
Speaker
princess of power line Which member of the Great Rebellion was unique for having hidden features like a spinning bird on her chest?
00:44:55
Speaker
Was it Mermista, Peekaboo, Flutterina, or Sweet Bee? that had him hidden images in her chest. Hidden features. So like you would look at the the toy and it would look like just a normal toy. But if you like push this button on her back, her emblem would spin on her chest.
00:45:19
Speaker
And it was a bird. I would have to say Peek-a-Blue. I'm sorry. That's that's incorrect. Melia. Melia.
00:45:30
Speaker
Melia.
00:45:33
Speaker
It's actually Mermista. What? Mermista's action feature involves spraying water while spinning the symbol of the Flutterina prototype But specifically the character Spinderella is often the one associated with spinning gimmicks. Wait, pause. On the show. Not Spinderella. Okay, I was going to have a real a real moment, a real salt and pepper moment. Spinderella hated a mountain.
00:46:04
Speaker
Okay, next question, Michael. I still support you, Omar. Yes. I'm in your corner. Okay, here we go. Which short-lived 1986 toy line featured Spectra, a line of metallic finished female figures that came with lace-trimmed outfits? Was it Golden Girl, Lady Lovely Locks, Spectra by Mattel, or Jim and the Holograms?
00:46:35
Speaker
Lace.
00:46:38
Speaker
uh spectra i guess yes oh my gosh yes yeah mattel created spectra as a fashion action doll with chrome like skin attempting to blend yeah attempting to blend the action figure and fashion doll market with lace with lace because i can't think of what six-year-old doesn't want ah an action figure with lace. i
00:47:09
Speaker
You know what? Yes. Okay. im im gonna go on a tangent but I You know, omars on Omar's on a winning streak right now, so let's follow up. Okay. yeah Produced by Galoob in 1984, which group of female warriors lived on the planet Argonia and fought an evil dragon queen? Was it Wildfire, Princess Guinevere, Golden Girl and the Guardians of the Gemstone, or the Bionic Woman?
00:47:41
Speaker
I'll go with the one with the dragon.
00:47:44
Speaker
Wildflower? Princess Guinevere? Bionic Woman? Princess Guinevere. No, sorry. That was that was similar. it was in the though. So the actual correct answer is Golden Girl and the Guardians of the Gemstone, which you wouldn't have watched it because it was like it was like the cheaper version. it was like the knockoff She-Ra, actually.
00:48:08
Speaker
It was made after She-Ra started to like compete. Yeah. Do you think that the Golden Girls... stole anything from that?
00:48:19
Speaker
So this is just singular Golden Girl. yeah was just one It was all happening at the same time probably. I'm sure it's a coincidence. Yeah, just a coincidence. All right. um So Shelley touched on Rambo earlier, minus the B. um This question actually has to do with the Rambo toy line, which I was completely unintentional. Which character from the Rambo Force of Freedom toy line circa 1986?
00:48:48
Speaker
Stands out as one of the few female figures in the heavily male-dominated military line. Was that female figure Lady J, Cat, Scarlet, or the Baroness?
00:49:02
Speaker
Give me those choices again. Lady J, Cat, Scarlet, or the Baroness? So I'm pretty sure Scarlet and Baroness are characters from G.I. i Joe that you're just using to trick me. So I'm going to go with Kat.
00:49:19
Speaker
That's right. Yay. Congratulations. um Yes. She was the master of disguise for the force of freedom and the only female figurine released in the line.
00:49:34
Speaker
Well, that name is basic enough for the people who are making Rambo toys to be like, what should we call the girl? Yeah, cat. or I mean, it's like well that i'm sure Why not? Yeah. Okay. Rhymes with that. She also has a pussy.
00:49:52
Speaker
exactly Yeah. Fair enough. Fair enough. um Okay. So Omar, good job. You got two out of four. Correct. And I, I think that's a win. That's a big win. Yeah. I'm really proud of you. um and And for that, Omar, I've got a special little clip here for you. Are are you excited?
00:50:09
Speaker
ah What? Because this is the big win clip right here. the power of Greyskull. Yes. have the power.
00:50:25
Speaker
It just keeps going. you do have the power. You do have the power. Anna. Yeah, a great job. Okay, so... we've covered so much with you tonight and like, I'm loving every single second of it. um And I want to go like you're basically living, like as I was thinking about what I know about you, right?
00:50:48
Speaker
Cause we've known each other for a while. um But what I know about you is that you are basically living the life of like an action hero. i know that seems like, okay, you are a chief petty officer, but like, there's so much about that, that you have done. Like you move from Puerto Rico to New York, back to Puerto Rico, to Kansas, you became a teacher. Then you joined the Navy. You lived in Japan. Now you were in San Diego and now in Pittsburgh. And like, you're bouncing around in these places and being this little
00:51:24
Speaker
not this little, this big hero self. You're flying. You're like literally flying around the planet. Yeah. Yeah. um So i guess in all of this and like making the superhero metaphor, has there been someone or something in your life that has been like the Skeletor to your Tila or like ah a force? It doesn't have to be you know, a big blue man, corpse man.
00:51:57
Speaker
But has there been like a consistent drive? I mean, cause I think of Skeletor as both like, Oh, thought you were asking if i had enemies, which
Personal Motivators and Independence
00:52:10
Speaker
I mean, he wouldn't, he wouldn't have done the things that he did if it wasn't for the motivation provided by Skeletor. Sometimes it was dastardly, but it,
00:52:23
Speaker
I guess I'm thinking more along the lines of like, have you had this motivator your entire life to maintain this superhero-ness of your life? Well, like I said, when when I joined after Don't Ask Don't Tell got repealed, that was ah a big drive, right? Because I kind of felt like, well...
00:52:50
Speaker
it's It was easy to always say, I would do it, but I can't. Now it was like my chance to put my money where my mouth is. And the sort of the trailblaze, I don't know if I want to use that word. I mean, it's it' not like I'm patting myself in the back. And of course, there were ban there were plenty of gay people and queer people of every flavor in the military. But I...
00:53:18
Speaker
I do think there's a difference between those who were there before doing what they could or serving in silence and and then coming in when the door was open and being like, hello, i'm going to make sure it stays open. Thank you very much.
00:53:33
Speaker
But like like any any person that... ah does something and and it's trying to represent for their community, at the end of the day, you know, you have to do it for yourself.
00:53:49
Speaker
it's It's nice if I can be that queer service member that others could look up to, but ultimately my biggest drive has just been kind of taking care of myself and Um, you know, it's to keep, to keep bringing the circle closed. ah something that I was thinking earlier when we were talking, um,
00:54:14
Speaker
My family always had a bit of a housing insecurity when I was growing up. even though Even though we owned like the land we lived in, there were mortgage shenanigans, and there were times that we thought, you know, my dad thought, oh they're going to foreclose, we're going move somewhere else, blah, blah. So this idea of a home that's not your home, that you own it but you don't, That kind of informed me a lot growing up. So I think that's also a reason why I gravitate towards these characters or these stories that have a home center, a home base, um ah independent characters that are taking care of themselves or living in their own little apartments.
00:54:54
Speaker
um So I always wanted to make sure that I had a roof over my head above everything else. And... and just take care of myself, you know, always, um you know, seeing the example of other people.
00:55:12
Speaker
people in Puerto Rico and people in my family, maybe with not the best of credits or not the best work history or work ethic, uh, or a financial situation that's almost by the seat of their pants. It was very much like, no, the, the vicious circle stops with me. you know like yeah I am not going to perpetuate these things.
00:55:35
Speaker
Um, so a lot of it, a lot of it just comes from me taking care of myself and, ah You know, being a Capricorn, I'm very drawn to money and coin and and financial. You know, i'm I can be materialistic sometimes. Taurus. I see you. If I'm left to my own devices.
00:55:55
Speaker
But ultimately, it's about taking care of myself and the people are around me that i can't take care of. I think that is, you know, you mentioned that you when you joined the military, it was because you wanted to make sure that door stays open.
00:56:10
Speaker
um And I think one of the other things that we as queer folks have to do is look out for ourselves, but also do that as a, like as a testament to the younger queers out there.
00:56:28
Speaker
i mean, I remember when I came out in my classroom, I came out in my classroom because I had a student who attempted to die by suicide because of his queerness and And when I came out, it was like three weeks later, you know, he survived, he survived. And I was so supremely thankful for that. But I came out because i wanted students to see that a queer person can live a stable, happy, productive life, healthy, yeah productive life. And that was important to me. And in the same way that you,
00:57:04
Speaker
want to make sure that the door stays open for people to serve in the military, no matter who they are. Part of that is the projection that you can look out for number one and be healthy doing that.
00:57:19
Speaker
You don't have to hide who you are to service other people. Like you are strong the way you are. So I, I don't think that's selfish at all. Queen, I think that is being the great,
00:57:35
Speaker
human being that you are and showing other people, yeah, you can be like me if you try. i I thought we both were going to, when you talked about like watching out for yourself and and creating this life, I thought we both were going to hit on like, but wait, you're married. You have a family. there It's not just you. There's actually your your partner. And yeah um can you tell us about like, and we're coming short here, but like, you know, how did you meet your partner? how how is married life?
00:58:04
Speaker
this This from the the boy in Puerto Rico to the husband where are you, Pennsylvania? yeah empathy Yeah. Well, I met my husband, Kurt, when I was stationed in Portland.
00:58:20
Speaker
And we got married before I left there. Um,
00:58:28
Speaker
don What's the question again? You have a family. How has life changed does it as a a married, you know, you, you, like you've arrived. I don't know if that that's right quite right, but like, you know, you have the home, you have the, you have the.
00:58:44
Speaker
The partner, you have the two space The roof over your head. Like this is, this is your like. You're a daddy. Yeah. Doggy daddy. Dog daddy. Well, I mean, I was the dog daddy before I was married. Remember? didn't know The late and great Henry. um the i mean, it's it's great. I mean, marriage is a whole different conversation and has all this ups and downs. Podcast series. Yeah. Queerly departed. and let's say Somebody's died. Sorry. it ah I mean, it feels great to have a... ah
00:59:20
Speaker
you know, a partnership and someone to, to support. And, uh, Kurt great as a Navy spouse. That's oh number one, yeah which, which can't always be the case. yeah Um, or it hasn't always been the case from, from my experience. Um,
00:59:42
Speaker
And, the but, you know, we we have our, we have different interests. We have our lives. He's, yeah he does his work and he travels, um you know, he's, he's game for wherever we need to, to move, which I appreciate.
00:59:56
Speaker
And it, it just feels great to have that support um back, back at home. And it's a nice, um you know, nice to have someone to take care of you at home.
01:00:10
Speaker
so her And but like like I said, that's not i mean, it's it's a joke that some, you know, higher ranking folks need to get divorced before they promote. And we no matter no matter what we might go through up and down, we we have seen when we were right sat in Japan. Right. um So a lot of people lived on base or would go to the commissary on base to shop for groceries or whatever.
01:00:39
Speaker
And we would be there and the outside of the commissary. It was a great spot to just people watch and listen. Not even eavesdrop, because you you don't have to eavesdrop. People are being very loud. And you hear people arguing over the phone or arguing in person.
01:00:58
Speaker
And we would walk past these folks and just kind of look at each other and just be like completely full of gratitude. Yeah.
01:01:09
Speaker
Yeah, you survived Ikea with your partner. You just you survived Costco. like yeah the All of the trips. The commissary. You survived the survived the commissary. yeah oh yeah no no Actually, i don't i don't mean that. I just mean that they would be fighting over other things. Right. Those trips are whatever sometimes bring out the most obscure, random...
01:01:28
Speaker
those shopping trips are whatever like sometimes can bring out like the most obscure random decision-making or questions and you never listened to me and you did this and if I we wouldn't, you know, so all those different things that come out. um if i mean there's no tell I just, I don't think they're there. They knew maybe what they were getting into or maybe, you know, they might love their husband in uniform, but then when they're gone from the house for seven months in a row, yeah yeah that causes stress and they don't,
01:02:02
Speaker
they don't know how to handle their lives by themselves or handle the children or the house with this person who dropped them off in another country and now they're gone.
01:02:14
Speaker
Um, yeah I don't know. i think it has to do with maybe both of us being queer and being adult. Also, we, we both were 40 when we got married. So, um,
01:02:27
Speaker
Yay to older ah spouse makings. I was 35. And do you know the thing that I said when I found my dress and Rebecca, our mutual friend, my sister-in-law um was at the dress fitting when I got, when I found the dress and the thing that I said, I spun around in my dress.
01:02:45
Speaker
And the thing that I said is it's so age appropriate. Yeah. yes I said that out loud. Yeah, yeah, yeah, um yeah. i think I think the same way how I went into the Navy old at 32 and I knew what I was getting myself into, so I didn't have any of those.
01:03:05
Speaker
You know, I wasn't like an 18-year-old crying that they were the first time they had left home or been away from their family. I knew how everything was going to be like. And I got married um older. And Curtis, you know, we're the same age. So we we know we have this ah sense of independence. of we we We know the score. We know, like, what needs to happen. And...
01:03:31
Speaker
he's very understanding and very accommodating. And he knows, you know, if I have to disappear for nine months as I have, right.
Support During Deployments
01:03:39
Speaker
He's he'll, he'll hold down the fort until I get back, you know, take care of the pups. He'll be the doggy daddy.
01:03:46
Speaker
I don't know. i okay. so this is maybe a silly, stupid last question that is, um, a little bit of a try hard, but I'm going to throw it out there anyway. Are you ready? Go ahead. So now you've spent all this time reflecting,
01:04:00
Speaker
We've talked about your superhero Tila moments. We've talked about why you erroneously in parentheses, dislike the Goonies, but also why you love Blue Lagoon. And, you know, you've gone through the military and a bunch of moves to become who you are. So do you think, is there a superhero out there that encapsulates that whole journey or are you still little Batgirl inside?
01:04:29
Speaker
little Tila inside. i don't know, Omar. like realized Fully realized Tila. Other... ah Okay, those were just the things at the moment, and action figures, of course. um To me, Wonder Woman, always, all the way. beautiful I mean, it's just the rough the the complete encapsulation of the power of femininity and and this ideal that different people can put their own spin on it, but ultimately comes to love and...
01:04:58
Speaker
and Coming into the world and and making it better and and i know we're probably getting long but I also wanted to mention the ah the You remember the on the TV show which was the gateway for my love route Yeah, well that's why i I didn't want to bring up a lot of Wonder Woman as my root because by the time I was all over Wonder Woman I was already very gay so there was no room I'm jealous. She was the canopy of the tree. Yes, when you bloomed.
01:05:30
Speaker
But that, on the first season, i don't know if you guys remember, that she was in the military in the 1940s during World War II, and she was in the Navy. She was the Navy yeoman, which was the first ah rate, the first branch that accepted women in active duty service.
01:05:49
Speaker
And... When I was considering going into the military and trying to do something, a better job, because remember, Shelley, I was a teacher, too, but I was kind of drowning in debt and I was just not making it happen.
01:06:03
Speaker
ah and I thought of joining the military, I did kind of look at that image of, you know, Yeoman Prince ah with the secret identity, no less, you know, as an inspiration, as ah as a, well, maybe I can do that. I can't be Wonder Woman, but maybe I can be Yeoman Prince.
01:06:23
Speaker
And actually, and that is my right. i am a Yeoman. I have been for the last 14 years. You are my Wonder Woman. You are my Wonder Woman. My wonder woman. was trying wonder wall work with that. Didn't work. I'm sorry. It doesn't work, but i want to thank you so much, Omar. Like seriously, not only am I super thrilled just to talk to you because you're always such a delight, but thank you so much for talking candidly with us about your roots and like all the things that make you so beautifully. you
01:06:55
Speaker
i love you so much. Thank you for having me guys. Good luck with this endeavor. And, uh, If there's ever an episode to talk about ah talk about a ah queerness in the 80s movies, I'm back.
01:07:09
Speaker
yeah We will definitely have you back because I know that you are movie savant. Yes. so i yeah I have a couple of rants ready to go. Oh, I love a good rant-ready situation.
01:07:23
Speaker
Okay, so if if any of our listeners wanted to like go down the Omar rabbit hole, which now that I say sounds really terrible, would they follow you on anything? Do you want to be found?
01:07:35
Speaker
Anything like that? Sure. I would say my my Instagram is probably the most open, xoxoomar. XOXO Omar. I love it. Hugs and kisses, Omar.
01:07:48
Speaker
All righty. Well, if you've enjoyed today's chat, please subscribe to Your Roots Are Showing on your favorite podcast situation. We're definitely, definitely on Spotify. And be sure to smash and smash the follow button on Instagram and bluesky at rootsarshowingpod.
01:08:04
Speaker
Then tell your friends all about us, how you love us, how you can't get over all of our guests and how awesome we are. And a special thanks again to Scott Stone for making our magnificent music and to all the friends out there who helped us make this possible.
01:08:20
Speaker
Thank you. Until next time. Yes. Stay queer. Stay queer, folks. Bye. Bye.
01:08:54
Speaker
you