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Episode 11: The Accountant vs Leonidas – Turbo Tax & Baby Oil
16 Plays8 days ago
It’s not April 15, but it’s always tax season when Christian Wolff is in the arena. This week, the meticulous marksman from The Accountant squares off against King Leonidas of 300 in what turned out to be our closest battle yet.
As always, we run the gauntlet—asking the big questions no one else dares: What’s Leonidas’ last name? Could anyone actually reboot him in 2025 (and who plays him)? And how does “razzmatazz” fit into all this?
Wolff may seem flawless on paper, but is it enough to topple a Spartan king? Who advances, and who gets audited?
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:07
Speaker
This is the fictional fighting championship podcast, the ultimate battleground where Hollywood's deadliest warriors collide.
Tournament Format Explained
00:00:15
Speaker
We're taking 48 of the most ruthless, skilled, and battle-hardened fighters from movies and TV and throwing them into a no-holds-bar tournament to see who survives.
00:00:26
Speaker
You've seen in the movies, you know the legends. Now it's time to settle the score.
00:00:36
Speaker
All right, guys.
00:00:45
Speaker
all right.
00:00:50
Speaker
All right.
Meet the Hosts and Concept
00:00:51
Speaker
Forgot what I was doing here. I'm Jordan Guerrero. I'm Christian Doherty. And I'm Steve Sadler. And this is a podcast about the greatest fictional tournament in the history of the universe.
00:01:03
Speaker
And that is not an exaggeration.
Recap of Rambo vs. Joel Matchup
00:01:06
Speaker
All right, guys, this is the last episode of season one. We've got it broken down into a few different seasons here. Who wants to remind everyone what happened last week?
00:01:15
Speaker
Last week, we had our boy Rambo come in against Joel from The Last of Us. Joel, one of my favorite characters out here, was a sick contender. But come on, you're going up against John motherfucking Rambo.
00:01:26
Speaker
This guy wiped the floor with him. I mean, Joel, I wanted to give him some credit. He's badass. He beat some people. He got through the first round. But you're dealing with Rambo. We're in the Apex 8.
00:01:38
Speaker
we're out We're down to the winners. Yeah, this is no joke right now. So Rambo advances to the Apex 8, and the winner of this battle that we're going to talk about today also advances to the Apex 8, and that's the Elite of the Elite.
Rambo Advances and Anticipation Builds
00:01:52
Speaker
But those two won't face each other, is that correct? Well, they might, but not in the first, not right away. Not in the very next ah matchup. That's correct, that's correct, yes.
Rambo Prequel Rumors
00:02:04
Speaker
Hey, before we move on to this this awesome matchup, I think we have to boast about some pop culture news that's just rolling out right now.
00:02:15
Speaker
Yeah, I think we're changing the shape of Hollywood here. Single-handedly, one of the big one of the the most popular segments that we did was a lot of people agreed with us that we wanted a prequel for that Rambo franchise.
00:02:30
Speaker
And what do you know? Yesterday, i saw several Instagram posts that there is a Rambo prequel in the works. It's happening.
00:02:41
Speaker
Hey, it was all us. you can ah I can't wait for the royalties to start rolling in. We can make some money off of this podcast finally. So Noah Centineo has been cast as Rambo in the prequel.
00:02:55
Speaker
Who the fuck is that guy? I didn't know. Hold on. So if you don't know who Noah Centennial is, um I just went on IMDB and I'm looking through all of his movies and fuck, I don't know who this guy is either. Like but Sierra Burgess is a loser. 2018 Black Adam. No one saw that movie. The perfect day. I've never heard of any of this crap.
00:03:13
Speaker
So is this is this movie coming out on like Tubi or something for free? It must be. It's going to be on the loading screen of your smart TV. I hope Steve is definitely going to watch it.
00:03:25
Speaker
He was in some, the, the recruit. Yeah. He was in the recruit. He's was, which is like a spy adventure show, a TV series called the Fosters, the movie called to all the boys I've loved before. I don't know. I think if he's the guy, he's the guy we're gonna, we're gonna watch this. Yeah. I feel like you can't talk shit about him until you see it, you know? Yeah.
00:03:45
Speaker
Yeah. Watch me. And we're totally taking credit for this too. All right. Let's keep moving here.
Fan Opinions and Predictions
00:03:52
Speaker
You know what? We have some fan feedback though. um Here is something from one of our good listeners.
00:03:58
Speaker
He weighed in on who's going to win this matchup. Now we, Chris hasn't done his official, his official warmup yet, but of course we know that it's the accountant, Christian Wolf against Leonidas from 300, but yeah,
00:04:12
Speaker
but One of our best listeners, The Juice, he says 100% the accountant wins this one. The guy is a lethal killer, just like this killer podcast.
00:04:24
Speaker
So thank you, Juice. Juice just walked up and moved up into our Apex 8 for our best listeners.
Patreon Ideas and Listener Support
00:04:31
Speaker
Are we going to start like a Patreon or something for all the simps out there that love this podcast and want to give us money? Yeah, and we should definitely call them s simps.
00:04:41
Speaker
Yeah, Patreon. That's the platform you're looking for. i take i technically don't know exactly what a s simp is, but I hear it. the The young kids are all saying it these days. so Isn't it like ah short for like a simpleton or something?
00:04:57
Speaker
I don't know. It basically means someone that... is willing to pay somebody money, especially like a streamer or okay someone famous yeah for doing so for doing nothing. Bath water is going to use.
00:05:10
Speaker
Exactly. I'm into that. So anyway, the juice will be our first one for for that platform. We also have a bailin two eight five. I saw on Instagram, this guy or girl, I don't know, ah binge the entire season.
00:05:23
Speaker
which is amazing. So thank you, Balen285. And he or she concludes that Leonidas is the winner of this one. So we got some some contradicting difference of opinion here by two of our good listeners.
00:05:36
Speaker
You guys want to shout out since this is, um you know, we've done these guys before. So we have a couple extra minutes. ah that we would normally spend on Tale of the Tape and things like that.
00:05:47
Speaker
How about we shout out a couple of our best listeners? I have a few that I wanted to shout out. um My friend Joanna is a great listener. She also created our awesome logo. I get so many so many good comments about that thing. It looks badass and it makes us look completely legit.
00:06:03
Speaker
I'll shout out Lefty from Minneapolis. He's always got some nice feedback. A guy, Ben D from Tucson, Arizona. Ben D, good listener, full name Ben Dover, I'm pretty sure.
00:06:14
Speaker
Jesus.
00:06:18
Speaker
jesus The bar's gotten so much lower. Hot Sauce Lisa, a good listener. Our hottest and sauciest listener, Will G. Will G is a good contributor. He was one of the the first people that voiced up and said that we made a mistake in the very first episode. hannnab He had Hannibal Lecter the whole way.
00:06:42
Speaker
ah But thank you, Will. like him. And um also the person who tipped us off, tipped me off, and I didn't give this person credit for the hilarious roadhouse clip from from Parks and Rec, where he did that awesome roadhouse bit.
00:06:57
Speaker
I'm now giving credit to that person who goes by the the moniker of Meathead. So thank you for that. And finally, ah Mike from Folion. He sits next to me at work and he's a great listener and he was he's disappointed.
00:07:12
Speaker
ah He listens to us every Tuesday on his commute. He was disappointed when it was a day late once.
00:07:19
Speaker
He might be our ah biggest fan. Totally. I don't know anybody that's listening the day of the release or the day after. I have a shout out for listener or a user that left a comment on one of our streaming platforms.
00:07:34
Speaker
Kaylee S69 420. She said, who is this Chris guy and why does he keep talking about jujitsu? He needs to stop talking about du jujitsu. Okay.
00:07:48
Speaker
Well, Kaylee S69 420, I will not stop talking about jujitsu because I am obsessed with it. It is the best martial art that is out there. I can kill a man with my bare hands and I'm proud of it. So yeah, if ah you ever have a chance to try out jujitsu, go do it. It's an amazing sport. It's really fun.
00:08:08
Speaker
And um that's all I have to say. Nice. Thank you to Kaylee S. Jordan, do you have any shout-outs ah shout out to Tim Codinoso, one of my group directors out here listening in, coming at us from, where's he now? Lafayette, California. Keep it up, Tim.
00:08:25
Speaker
Nice. We wouldn't be killing it right now if it wasn't for all our listeners.
00:08:36
Speaker
Now let's talk about this week's epic battle. Chris, who do we have?
Current Matchup: Christian Wolfe vs. Leonidas
00:08:40
Speaker
This week we have again the final matchup in this section of the tournament.
00:08:48
Speaker
The Mayhem region. And we have El Lobo. The Thunder with the Thermos. Christian Wolfe going up against the king, the baby oil baddie.
00:09:00
Speaker
This is Sparta. Leonidas. I don't have a last name for him, but we'll just go with Leonidas. What was his last name? Dang. Okay. King. Oh, wait, wait, wait.
00:09:13
Speaker
King is his first name. We'll just go with that. right name King. First name King. All right. um Did you guys, I mean, obviously we didn't know these guys were going to match up, so we didn't have anything going too far back as to who we thought would win. But did you have any ah initial inclination before you started doing any more rewatches on who might win this one?
00:09:34
Speaker
I did. I was speaking with some friends of mine about, want to say, yeah, Leonidas' matchup with William Wallace. And they brought up a really good point that the Scottish army, along with William Wallace, are just like a ragtag group of guys that kind of like banded together to try to defeat the English and didn't necessarily...
00:09:55
Speaker
You know, basically comparing them to the Spartans is just like kind of does an injustice to the Spartans, basically. the The Spartans are trained killers from a young age and that, you know, the Scots basically and William Wallace never stood a chance.
00:10:11
Speaker
and And they kind of convinced me that that is true. And I think that Leonidas is such a strong contender, despite being more primitive and an older character with less maybe at his disposal as far as weapons and things.
00:10:28
Speaker
um But they just brought up that, you know, he's a trained killer. He's been doing this from a very, very young age and he he just does it because he can and that he wants to and that he needs to.
00:10:39
Speaker
um So i I don't know. I just have more respect for Leonidas after his run through this tournament. Can't wait to see what he does with this matchup. I feel like beforehand I was leaning towards the accountant here. I got my buddy Christian Wolfe going up.
00:10:53
Speaker
I feel like he's an all-around badass with everything that he touches. But hearing the way that you're talking about King Leonidas, he has some serious warrior vibes. So want to be honest, I'm walking into this one undecided. I think we're gonna find out along the way.
00:11:07
Speaker
Yeah, it's a tough one. I will say this. I don't know who who did who who before research. I don't know. I don't remember. i don't know. What I can tell you is that the consensus from our listeners is that Leonidas is a decent favorite right now.
00:11:20
Speaker
We did the poll. before the Rambo fight, and so before Rambo advanced, and Rambo had the most votes by far. um um It was almost 100% of the people had him in one of the as one of the two advancing.
00:11:34
Speaker
Second was Leonidas, and then Wolf, and it was actually fairly sizable. I think it was about something like 24 votes for Leonidas and 15 for Wolf, something like that. So that that that's the consensus right now. So that's what we're up against here.
00:11:50
Speaker
I think Leonidas gets the people hyped. It's kind of like William Wallace, you know, just watching the films, you get super excited. And I feel like maybe, um and this comes down to the film ah more than the character, but The Accountant, I feel like is ah is a little bit of a sleeper movie, you know, gets kind of forgotten about.
00:12:08
Speaker
Not as many people know about it and it's not as as big. So I think 300 is a bigger movie. Leonidas is the ultimate warrior. He truly is. In WWE terms, yes. But if you're liking what you're hearing, give us a follow on Instagram, Facebook, even better hit follow on Spotify or Apple podcasts. You never miss a show.
00:12:26
Speaker
Usually we come out on Mondays. Oftentimes we miss it. It's a surprise and you'll enjoy it. Hey, if you really love us, tell a friend, tell a few friends, tell your coworker, tell anyone on the street, print out flyers. I'm going to send you QR code stickers.
00:12:40
Speaker
I want you to gorilla, put these up in dive bar bathrooms. I want you to fucking sticker your entire city with my QR code, please. For the love of God, promote me. God, I love the enthusiasm.
00:12:51
Speaker
If you can consider yourself a real fan, especially the fans that we called out today, pressure's on you. Go up, get out there, spread the word. Like Jordan said, you know, put stickers everywhere. Hey, get some spray paint and go graffiti some walls up, you know, where whichever city you're in.
00:13:06
Speaker
Pass out flyers, which everyone knows is the best marketing that you can do is passing out flyers. Preach from the
Leonidas' Fighting Style and Analysis
00:13:13
Speaker
rooftops. Yeah.
00:13:22
Speaker
Okay, guys, tale of the tape. Let's start with King Leonidas. His debut was in 2006 in the movie 300, portrayed by Gerard Butler. His fight stats, approximately 6'2", 200 pounds, roughly about 40 years old at that time. Beast.
00:13:39
Speaker
yeah He was a beast for whatever BC era that was, absolute beast. And he's fighting out of Sparta, Greece. His kill count, as we know, is a crazy representation and just a small amount of what we think he probably really killed, but about 39 on screen.
00:13:57
Speaker
Now, tail the tape for Christian Wolfe. He debuted in The Accountant in 2016, portrayed by Ben Affleck. His height, weight, and age, about 6'4 and about 220, and he also was in his early 40s.
00:14:11
Speaker
He's fighting out of Plainfield, Illinois, and his kill count, now over two movies, bumped him up to about 45 kills on screen. Badass. Badass. We've real heavyweight matchup here.
00:14:22
Speaker
We do. Leonidas isn't over 205 or 210. I forget the heavyweight limit. But yeah, these guys are huge. They're ripped. Yeah, they're specimens. Yeah, and both the same age. It's kind of cool.
00:14:34
Speaker
but Way back in the day, around Leonidas' time, wasn't 40? Wouldn't that make him geriatric at that that time? Maybe. Pretty much. and How do you have enough calories back then to get 200 pounds and shredded? yeah Just eating wolf meat.
00:14:53
Speaker
Oh, he kills the wolf in the film. He kills the wolf in 300 and he's going up against Christian Wolf. Hey, we got to pay the bills here, guys. That's true.
00:15:03
Speaker
My lights are about to turn off. Why don't we give a quick segment to our ad sponsor?
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Speaker
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00:15:40
Speaker
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00:15:50
Speaker
All right. Let's go to some character breakdown here. Should we start with Leonidas? Let's do it. Yeah, I think the most important thing we need to do is these guys are getting into, you know, rare air with where they are in this tournament.
00:16:02
Speaker
How did they get here? Now, we're going to talk about the two victories that Leonidas has very, very briefly. But I also want to hear this. Did this guy have the toughest path to victory in this whole bracket?
00:16:13
Speaker
I think so. So he William Wallace, he beat William Wallace. And then the next one, he beat Colonel James Braddock. So the Chuck Norris character. Yeah, those are heavy hitters. i think I think that might be the toughest way up.
00:16:24
Speaker
Anything stand out to you for either one? We don't all have to jump jump in and talk about each victory or anything. But anybody want to talk about either one of those? I think he could have had the the most difficult first round matchup out of any of the contenders.
00:16:40
Speaker
Yeah. against William Wallace yeah and just going up against, you know, basically looking at himself in the mirror, just a Scottish version. Yeah. I feel like that was one of our most contentious episodes where we were just so undecided. They were so similar, so bad-ass both of them had so much risk going on that I, I just wanted to root for both of them. it was hard to pick one.
00:17:01
Speaker
Yeah, no, no, it was a tough one. One of the, one of the toughest ones. And we, we already admitted that we probably made a mistake by matching them up so early in the tournament. Yeah. And Colonel James Braddock, I mean, he was all right, but my God, is he a bad actor?
00:17:15
Speaker
Come on, Chuck Norris, do better here. Yeah. He doesn't, he doesn't really instill fear in me like Leonidas does. No, I look at him and he makes me feel itchy. Like I feel like he must have fleas.
00:17:30
Speaker
Yeah. Braddock was kind of more like that. Uh, too cool too cool for school type action hero. And you know what? This is the FFC. That kind of shit doesn't get it done, even if you're Chuck Norris.
00:17:42
Speaker
Let's talk about some badass moments here because, again, where this is we're in the breakdown section and this is where we're going to be starting to to find out who wins this tough matchup here. What kind of badass moments are you you guys thinking about for Leonidas?
00:17:56
Speaker
we've We've had Leonidas a couple other times already, so we've talked about as many badass moments as as we can remember, right? um I do have one that I don't think we've mentioned before that I like. It's seriously badass.
00:18:09
Speaker
And it's when this Persian messenger shows up, the crazy mustache guy. I don't know if we talked about this guy yet, but he shows up and he's got that big mustache. And he comes back and he really came to mock the 300 and kind of warn them, you know, about what's going to happen.
00:18:27
Speaker
And then he sees the wall that these guys just built and he's like, oh yeah, LOL, ha ha. You think that wall is going to stop us? Forget about it. And then he looks closer and he sees that that wall isn't really built from like stone and dirt and and shit like that, but it's built from the dead bodies of all the various armies that they've already smoked. Yeah.
00:18:45
Speaker
Spoiler alert, they also end up collapsing that wall over the top of them in the in a battle that that came a little bit later. So i't I don't know that we talked about that, but I love that moment. did not. We did not. Yeah, I love the facial expression on that dude with the mustache. Like, oh shit, this isn't just a wall.
00:19:01
Speaker
and Those are dead bodies. Really badass. And then he gets crushed by all the bodies. Yeah. Like the wall clearly didn't physically stop them. It was there for psychological warfare. Yeah.
00:19:12
Speaker
How many of our ah contenders do you think could say that they've built a wall of human bodies? yeah Not many. Not many. There's also another one that I love.
00:19:23
Speaker
And honestly, I don't know that we mentioned this too. They were confronted by what looked like just fucking thousands of Persians. And they yelled at them. They were kind of ordered, ordered them to put down your weapons.
00:19:34
Speaker
And they did have a response. Persians!
00:19:40
Speaker
Come and get them! That was pretty badass because right before they said that, he fired a spear and and speared that dude right through the chest while he was riding his horse or whatever.
00:19:52
Speaker
So is that some like OG Molan Labbe come and take it shit right there? You want these? Come get them, assholes. Come get them. Hey, I added a new one here because, again, we don't want to talk about the same things every time, but this one goes directly towards who's going to win this fight and really who's going to win any fight.
00:20:12
Speaker
And it's about pain tolerance and resilience. So maybe we could talk a little bit about that. Talk maybe about their ability to take punishment and still carry out their mission. Anything come to mind with Leonidas for you guys?
00:20:23
Speaker
I mean, we're we're talking about one on one fights with him. It has to be the uber immortal, right? The big giant berserker guy, crazy teeth, 10 feet tall arms the size of my entire body. This guy was humongous who he just takes on.
00:20:38
Speaker
And in terms of resilience. He puts Leonidas to pound town here. He's beating the shit out of him. I had no idea who was going to win this one. I thought that was going to be the end of him. But that badass scene where he decapitates him.
00:20:49
Speaker
Good on you, Leonidas. That was that was respect. It's a great scene. I'll just say this to, you know, pain tolerance and and resilience and everything. I think this is a huge one for Leonidas. I mean, she's abuse and deprivation, forced combat. These are all cut.
00:21:03
Speaker
pretty much normalized for that a goji military program that that these Spartans went through. We see it in his,
New Categories for Analyzing Leonidas
00:21:10
Speaker
in battle. He's just riddled with arrows. He's looks like a fucking porcupine with, with all these arrows through there. And he just doesn't show pain and steady fires off like kind of his last act of defiance, you know, by proving that the God King can actually bleed. And I think that was a great example of, of of pain tolerance, resilience. And that's kind of what i what I'm getting at here with that, that new category.
00:21:32
Speaker
Yeah, he was also fighting that wolf in the mountains in the snow, and but he was all he was wearing was a loincloth or something. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Major shrinkage.
00:21:44
Speaker
yeah No, I think that's a big one for Leonidas.
00:21:54
Speaker
Should we run the gauntlet? Oh yeah. Let's get after it. All right. Let's run the gauntlet on Leonidas. Gauntlet 3.0. So we're back to this section. We've done it many times throughout each of these characters, uh, episodes.
00:22:09
Speaker
Um, so we're trying to bring a little bit of flair, a little bit of unique, uh, spin on pizazz, a little razzmatazz, a little pizazz, little razzmatazz, as Steve would say, changing up the category just a little bit to keep it, you know, exciting.
00:22:24
Speaker
So casting couch 3.0. We have a sequel to the casting couch. Another one who would or could play this character if the franchise was rebooted in 2025. Nice.
00:22:35
Speaker
b nice i love i like these I like these casting couch ones. They're really good. I think I have one for this, if you want me to go first. Okay. This guy's good looking. He's got like a catch-all British accent that I think would work.
00:22:49
Speaker
And I think he's even Greek, which makes perfect sense. So he might have that say that' that look. How do you feel about Theo James, most recently from The White Lotus? Oh, Theo James. Fuck yeah. I love Theo James.
00:23:01
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. From the gentleman. The gentleman also. Right. Yeah. he He looks a lot like, uh, Leonidas or Jared Butler. He'd have to bulk up a little bit, right?
00:23:12
Speaker
Yeah. He was in those divergent, the divergent trilogy, those movies. Yeah. He, he's pretty solid. Uh, what's funny is that this is like a six degrees of Steve moment here. He is in the gentleman and then that's a guy. Richie production.
00:23:28
Speaker
And, um, Jared Butler was also in a Guy Ritchie movie rock and roller. Yeah. So perfect. Yeah. We haven't done six degrees of Steven a little while. I know. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we'll bring it back for the next season.
00:23:40
Speaker
Okay. We're going to find some, some good ones. I think you need to be in a, you need to get yourself out there, Steve, get your agent. ah You know what? That's what I did. Guess what I did last weekend. Casting couch. I, I, did a few scenes for the devil wears product too.
00:23:56
Speaker
Oh, yeah. yeah Nice. I hope you don't get left on the editing room floor. I hope so. I know. My God, I'm in one with, with there's a Meryl Streep scene. There's a Stanley Tucci scene and there's a Emily Blunt scene, but yeah.
00:24:12
Speaker
Nice. That's awesome. You saw all of them? Yes. Very cool. Very cool. um I have one for this category. I'm a big fan of his. It's Chris Hemsworth. ah You know, he plays Thor in all the Marvel movies. He he already has the get up. He already has the body.
00:24:27
Speaker
um I think he's one of the best actors that Marvel has ever cast for a role, at least. You know, I don't know if he's one of the best actors in history, but I just love all of the Thor movies. they' They're really funny. And he just he plays that character so well. And i think he'd fit perfectly into a role in a 300 reboot.
00:24:48
Speaker
Oh, my God. His voice would fit perfectly. Yeah, would resonate. that That is much better than what I had. I couldn't think of anyone. So I was thinking, okay, who would have the presence of the dialogue and the scenes like some of them on the one-on-ones, maybe Pablo Pascal would have the authority to command some of these.
00:25:07
Speaker
But you think of the fight scenes and you're like, no, Pablo Pascal is going to fall flat. Then you need Jason Momoa. But you know, Jason Momoa, you see any movie where he opens his mouth. It's like, oh, stop, stop, stop. No, we need someone else to talk here. This is awful. Yeah.
00:25:19
Speaker
So if Jason Momoa could be Pablo Pascal stunt double, that might be a decent reboot. but We don't know Pablo Pascal. His name is Pedro. Oh, really? My God.
00:25:31
Speaker
We, you like to think that Jordan is doing a bit here, but he's just a fucking dumb ass. ah You can't remember people's names. Oh my God. All right. What's next, Chris?
00:25:42
Speaker
All right. We've got a brand new segment for the gauntlet here. Action hero. you guys, do you guys see that? do you see what we did there? I like it. I already know where this is going. So we're going to rank their hair from one to 10, or at least I will. And you guys can chime in. You will. Yeah. I will. need to Yeah.
00:26:00
Speaker
I'm giving Jared Butler's hair for this one, like a three out of 10, you know, he's coming, he's coming out of fights, you know, with, He's not really taking his helmet off too much.
00:26:12
Speaker
He's got helmet hair. It's short. There's not really a lot going on there. No flowing locks. You know, i kind of wish they had given him hair similar to what his, ah you know, the soldiers in his army have. There's quite a few guys with with a bit longer hair there, but he doesn't have it for some reason.
00:26:29
Speaker
Um, that's okay, but yeah, not, not a strong showing for Leonidas. Yeah, this was not a great matchup for, you for this category to start with. I know how much you love these guys hair.
00:26:41
Speaker
This isn't a great matchup for this one. So yes, no, no. Yeah. Not, not a good start for action. Hero segment moving on to, I feel like this one was a stretch with the name.
00:26:51
Speaker
You don't like the name. Was this was this chat GPT? No, I thought of this myself. Oh no, you should have said it was Josh ETP. It's pretty bad. a Brand. Let me say it. Brand ambassassin.
00:27:04
Speaker
see what I did? Brand ambassassin. It's like an ambassador, but these guys are deadly killers. This is, this is a real stretch. I just want to go on record that this wasn't me that came up with the name for this segment, but I do love the idea of the segment, which is,
00:27:23
Speaker
What modern brand could hilariously choose the character for their spokesman? I've got a few for Leonidas already. Johnson & Johnson baby oil. Easy.
00:27:34
Speaker
Natural. Oh, that's great. That's a natural. ah like it. You could have the commercial be him fighting. And then, you know, after he's done killing a bunch of people, he's just like lotioning up. He doesn't want to get dry skin. Yeah.
00:27:49
Speaker
All right, i'm go I got one here. I'm going to go with Manscaped. Who better to tout the advantages of having well-groomed body hair than Leonidas? This guy probably shaves his chest hair and his balls with like a sword.
00:28:03
Speaker
This is a no-brainer for me. Yeah.
00:28:08
Speaker
Yeah, Manscaped is a good one. Manscaped does a lot of podcasts. So, shout out to Manscaped. Okay, here we go. Yeah. I'm leaning into like the douchey gym bro type here. I'm thinking something like Gymshark to sell more tight gym shorts.
00:28:22
Speaker
That's a good one. That's good one. Okay. All right. All right. I think this category has legs, especially the name of the category. I like it. Okay. All right. What's next? We got one more of these, right?
00:28:35
Speaker
Last of the segments for gauntlet 3.0, the, Oh shit award. Nice. And this is for like ah a great stunt or really cool action scene, something like that, that blew you away.
00:28:49
Speaker
Yeah. Something that makes you go, Oh shit. shit
00:28:56
Speaker
I don't know. What about like the whole of, 300 the movie, just every fight scene. ah Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you brought up that slow-mo scene already before. That thing is amazing. Yeah.
00:29:07
Speaker
I've talked about it before. Gerard Butler actually did, I think all of the stunts for his, for the, for the movie on his own without, without having a stunt double. So that's impressive in itself.
00:29:19
Speaker
Yeah. He said the diet and exercise for that absolutely destroyed his body. He got into some sick shape for that.
Christian Wolfe's Victories and Adaptability
00:29:34
Speaker
let's um Let's move on to the character breakdown for Christian Wolfe, the accountant. How did he get here? He has two victories, just like Leonidas. He beat Machete in the first round, and then he beat Dalton from Roadhouse in the second round. So yeah not quite the same path to victory ah to get to this point as Leonidas had. I think everyone would agree with that. But either of those two stand out. Anybody want to mention anything noteworthy about either of those wins?
00:29:59
Speaker
I think it's hilarious that the two guys that he fought were on complete opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to personality and fighting style. He went up against Machete in the first round. Just that dude is nutso.
00:30:13
Speaker
You know, you don't know what's going to happen next with that guy. He's just going to come at you with all different kinds of knives and weapons that he's created himself, shooting guns, blowing up bombs and throwing grenades at you.
00:30:27
Speaker
And then you've got Dalton, who's calm, collected, planning ah what his moves are going to be. ah Maybe you're not sure where he when he's going to strike. So Wolf has faced, I think, a plethora of different opponents through through this through these first matchups. And I think he's shown his his ability to take care of a number of different types of opponents.
00:30:54
Speaker
yeah I'm noticing a trend here. The guys who aren't here in the tournament right now, Dalton, William Wallace, guys who would score top marks in action Harrow. is there Is there correlation here?
00:31:06
Speaker
don't know Oh, that's a good point. Maybe the hag gets in the way. That could be. Machete has long flowing hair. where Where Edna says, no capes. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to to watch out for that. That might yeah come into play.
00:31:20
Speaker
seriously though, the Dalton fight. I mean, Wolf just totally outclassed this dude. Dalton doesn't have much of a resume with weapons. And specifically, i don't think he has any resume with firearms.
00:31:31
Speaker
And I mean, that's not going to get it done against Wolf. Wolf's close quarters ability at minimum, matched Dalton, matched him. Potentially, I said even better, but that's all that Dalton had going on for him. So yeah, the the elite the elite weapons skills just made it a super one-sided matchup for me against Dalton.
00:31:54
Speaker
Let's flip over to badass moments for for Christian Wolfe. Anything come to mind? Anything that you guys wanted to mention from either movie in the finale of The Accountant No. 1?
00:32:05
Speaker
Mm-hmm. I really like how he moves. He moves through that mansion like he's a machine. And he he there it's it's similar in at in the finale of Accountant 2 also, but I'm just going to stick with Accountant 1 right now.
00:32:17
Speaker
He just moves through that mansion like he's he's a machine. He's clearing the room. Then he clears the next room, then the next room, then the next room. It's just such precision. There's no ace of movement on this guy. There's no unnecessary flair from him either. It's just like real-world tactical precision.
00:32:33
Speaker
And it seemed like he just had a plan mapped out, move for move the entire time before he even did it. i Like he had a blueprint in his head. And I think that's pretty awesome.
00:32:44
Speaker
Yeah, I can agree more. I think we so we covered that, especially in this first episode, um his first matchup. And that was a real yeah X factor, I think, and in him showcasing his abilities.
00:32:56
Speaker
He just really laid it all out on the table there in that last scene. And it really shows you his his skills. and That scene actually is a good transition to the next category, which is that pain tolerance endurance chat that we wanted to have here.
00:33:11
Speaker
I think pain tolerance is a big one for Wolf. Yeah, that was huge. You're going back to that scene where he's like steadily getting through all of the mercenaries and, you know, piece by piece, he's, you know killing guys off.
00:33:24
Speaker
getting through rooms in the mansion. And I think each time it gets more and more difficult for him. um And he's, you know, he's taken bullets. ah He's taken a beating from mercenaries, you know, hand to hand. And it's just, you know, he just keeps on going. He does not stop ah despite all of these setbacks.
00:33:42
Speaker
That is, I think, huge when you're going up You're starting to go up against tougher and tougher opponents in this tournament. You want to be able to take that take those hits and take that pain and and get through it and have endurance. And and Wolf definitely has that.
00:33:57
Speaker
Yeah, despite not, I mean, I'm comparing him now to Lee Knight. It's not growing up in the, I mean, he had up pretty a pretty Spartan upbringing too, you know bat battling his brother, stuff like that. But I'm just thinking about how he goes out of his way.
00:34:10
Speaker
His crazy exposure therapy shit that he does with the flashing lights and the music and the sound. And he's got the rolling pin and he's beating the shit out of his shins with it. Like he's rolling pierogies with a vengeance. Like he has to go out of his way to try and find ways to get boost his pain tolerance and stuff because feel like half the enemies he goes up against are like henchmen grade dudes who he just destroys. Like they don't even come close to him. So he has to go out of his way to find ways to hurt himself because some of these basic dudes are not even touching him.
00:34:40
Speaker
Yeah, that's a great one. I thought of that, and I thought that's kind of a similarity between the two. it That pain tolerance is definitely part of both of these guys' game and from an early age.
00:34:52
Speaker
Those things, that the strobe light, the loud music, those are so triggering for someone with his condition, and he put himself, he immersed himself in that. And we also see him take damage throughout the movies, both movies.
00:35:02
Speaker
But I i don't know the I guess the difference, there are some similar similarities there. the The difference might be that Wolf isn't just... a completely suicidal maniac. Like I think Leonidas might be right. He manages pain tolerance, but he doesn't go out and seek it. Mm-hmm.
00:35:24
Speaker
All right, guys, let's run the gauntlet for Christian Wolf. This is Gauntlet 3.0, all new categories. We heard him for Leonidas. Let's do it again. ah Casting Couch 3.0. Who would play this character in a reboot 2025? Anyone have a good one?
00:35:39
Speaker
yeah Would it be Ben Affleck since they did reboot it in 2025? Yes, was thinking that, but. Yeah, we can get more creative. I was trying to create someone new. So I'm going to throw this one out here.
00:35:53
Speaker
Adam Driver.
00:35:56
Speaker
Dude, that's who I have. Really? Yes, Adam Driver. internally He could do the internally tortured, socially awkward part. and like Both of them look kind of awkward doing action movie stunts. Yeah, he was Kylo Ren and shit. don't know. He was whatever at it. He could do it. Great hair too. Good hair.
00:36:16
Speaker
yeah oh That's incredible. Yes, I have Adam Driver. I can't believe it. Same wavelengths, guys. It's the podcast. Did you have one better than Adam Driver, Chris? Yeah, i was thinking maybe somebody who is really like comes across very nerdy and unsuspecting.
00:36:33
Speaker
a driver. so Yeah, someone that could, you know, play a character with the condition that that Wolf has. And I'd say someone who's even more nerdy looking because like Ben Affleck has, he's well built, like he's he's bigger, he's he's handsome. i just feel like it would be funnier or, you know, put a little more of a spin on it if it was someone nerdy.
00:36:55
Speaker
maybe Michael Cera or something. ah That'd be incredible. That's too, that's maybe, that's maybe too extreme, but it would be funny to, it would, it would be funny to see someone like Michael Cera in a, in a spy movie.
00:37:09
Speaker
It would be. Well, they just did kind of an action vigilante type movie with Rami Malek, who has no physical presence whatsoever. So maybe that's the route that you're going. That's not terrible. Yeah. That's, that's actually a good pick. That's a good pick. could see him getting pretty jacked for a role.
00:37:24
Speaker
He was, he was, he was the bad guy in ah the new James Bond, the most recent James Bond movie. So that he was pretty good. That's right. Yeah. I feel like there's precedent for Nova Kane, which just came out. It looked kind of like a shitty movie, so I didn't watch it, but Jack Quaid.
00:37:38
Speaker
Good. Not bad. Not bad. All right. All right. Let's keep it moving. Action hero. Chris, get give me your one through 10 hair ranking Christian Wolf. I mean, Leonidas had, you know, had some curls going on and then, you know,
00:37:54
Speaker
if we're talking about hair, we're also talking about the beard. So, you know, Leonidas, I guess I didn't really factor that into his score. He has a really good beard. So maybe I should bump up Leonidas to a four. I'm going to have Wolf at a two.
00:38:08
Speaker
Terrible. just Terrible showing. Generic white guy hair. Yeah. You know, he, he, it's almost like he has to have that coif that, that like, you know, where it sticks straight up at the front that, you know, all the guys used to do in high school when I was yeah back in the day.
00:38:25
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. It's it's bad. too bad yeah Not great. Not great. Okay. How about a brand? Oh God, going butcher this. Abassassin? Abassassin? How do you say it, Steve? Ambassassin. Ambassador and assassin. I don't see what's difficult about this. Get it right, Jordan. Jesus Christ. You're about to get fired.
00:38:46
Speaker
All right. What, what modern brand we have Christian Wolf out here wrapping. I've got a couple of good ones. Do it. All right. I'm going to skip over the obvious one. We're not going H and R block. We're not even going Tinder plus cause he gained the system so good in the accountant too.
00:39:00
Speaker
We're going straight to Stanley. He's out here repping the Stanley thermos. Stanley thermos gives a beaten and keeps on drinking. I'm Christian. wolf Indestructible. That's good. I like that.
00:39:12
Speaker
I have a, I have a good one. I think he could be in a commercial. Uh, you know, posing, looking all corny, you traffic keepers, pencil, pencils, uh, sharpeners, erasers, uh, backpacks.
00:39:26
Speaker
I'm thinking Walmart back to school. You know, he's dressed in his, his button up with a tie and he's ah showing off all the different things that you could buy for you. You know, for a student kid going back to school, he's got the pocket protector, um, with all the pens. Yeah.
00:39:43
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. a little book bag, like pencil bag and stuff like that. Okay. All right. That's a good one. I was saying, I'm imagining the Walmart commercial commercial right now, close up on his pocket protector. He pulls out a pencil. He's like, Ticonderoga, number two, $2.99.
00:39:57
Speaker
Look for the rollback sale in an aisle near you. Nice. Yeah. Well, yeah, maybe mine's too obvious then because I felt like it just has to be TurboTax.
00:40:07
Speaker
And I feel like he he could do a little bit like a commercial. He'd do a bit. And TurboTax is so easy that I, in my spare time, I have time to single handedly assassinate an entire organized crime rate.
00:40:18
Speaker
Something like that. So nice. Nice. Oh, what about the, Oh shit award for the best stunt or action scene that he's done in his movies? Oh shit.
00:40:31
Speaker
um I mentioned it before the final shootout scene in accountant two. I did really enjoy this scene. Chris and Braxton were both like super outnumbered, right? The whole scene was really great. It just showed how surgical that that the Wolf brothers are.
00:40:48
Speaker
But more to the point of the category of, oh shit, the choreography seemed like it was a really cool scene. um I felt like I was actually part of that shootout watching these two guys navigate the scene. It was just really cool to to go through.
00:41:00
Speaker
So that was kind of an oh, shit for me, how cool that was. And I don't know, am I crazy? Or did these guys, did Affleck and Bernthal actually look like they knew how to handle and and reload those weapons? Maybe it's just because I don't know what I'm doing.
00:41:12
Speaker
Yeah, they didn't look awful out there. yeah fine i think I think you got real close to the one that I was thinking of here when you said choreography. The best movie s stunt had to be in The Accountant 2 when Ben Affleck learns how to line dance and he just walks out there. He starts picking up on all the moves and he starts strutting his stuff.
00:41:29
Speaker
Boy's got some yee-haw on his step there. that that That was the one thing that stood out to me like, well, it was so different from all of his other stunts, if you can call it a stunt. Yeah. ah Yeah, I was going to pick up on the choreography comment as well. Like the final scene in the first movie, ah him, he I mean, I feel like he must have had some sort of martial arts training with the the ground fighting that he was doing. Like I mentioned it in the first episode was the jiji jujitsu that was featured was certainly really, really cool to watch. I mentioned it again.
00:42:02
Speaker
Sorry, Kaylee S. But yeah, ah definitely like, ah you know, if you if you know what you're looking for, Uh, in, in regards to martial arts and stuff when you see, or, you know, even with Jordan being, uh, you know, uh, a marksman involved with, you know, shooting and things like that, you know, he sees things in films. When I see these martial arts things in films, I'm like, oh shit. It's, it's really cool to see.
00:42:26
Speaker
Yeah. Good. And, and when they do it right is when it really, it really works. Yes. Yeah. That's when, that's when it really hits you. Yep. Yep. Yep.
00:42:41
Speaker
Let's get to segment three here. This is the third third stage of of our breakdown. And this is where we really start focusing on who's gonna win this thing and how are they gonna win? So we're gonna talk about some some of the skills and and stuff that we've seen them demonstrate, strengths, weaknesses, things like that. So one of the things that I wanted to do to keep this segment fresh and also point towards finding a winner, of course, what if we drop them in the other guy's world?
Speculation on Character Adaptability
00:43:08
Speaker
How would they perform? Would they still be as deadly? Would they still be a killer? Would they still be as effective? So let's think about that for a minute. Yeah, I think that's a really cool spin on the open discussion. And we've talked about, you know, in each of the matchups, I think how the other would fare in, you know, their opponent's universe. And i think to actually like highlight this and make it a category is, is, is really cool. And, and it's especially difficult now when we have,
00:43:35
Speaker
Someone modern with modern weapons and then someone who is from way back in history with very primitive weapons and primitive fighting style. um And we don't have many primitive fighters in the in the tournament, so it's not going to happen very often. But I think with Wolf and his condition, being dropped into Leonidas' world would be a very big shock.
00:44:00
Speaker
ah but I do think he is very dynamic. He is well-trained. was he mentioned Was it mentioned in the films that he's Green Beret or something along those lines?
00:44:12
Speaker
Something along those lines. I think he would be very resourceful. think he would survive well. um I don't think he's going to necessarily be on the level of like Rambo. I think Rambo, if he was dropped into that world, would would do really well. You know, you see him in the jungle, you see him doing completely fine with like sticks. And um I don't know that Wolf would have that ability, but, and then then vice versa, you know, if, if Leonidas is getting dropped into the modern world, that's, that's also something to,
00:44:39
Speaker
to consider and that he he probably wouldn't do that well. Okay. So yeah here's, here's where I'm coming from. So Christian Wolf is going back in time and you know, he's, he's known for his long rate, sniping shots, things like that, but he is no schmuck when it comes to the hand to hand stuff.
00:44:55
Speaker
We already talked about the Stanley thermos, but you remember that scene where he's got the trash bag and he uses the trash bag as his only weapon and he's doing some Indiana Jones whip stuff and he ends up killing the guy with it.
00:45:05
Speaker
ah He has some serious hand to hand chops and clearly he's also pretty pretty innovative little MacGyver with how he goes about things. And it starts to pull out one of those characteristics where you see he's the weapon. It's not the object is the weapon. He is the weapon and he's using it as a tool.
00:45:22
Speaker
I feel like his hand to hand is there too. And I think that he could adapt well. to Leonidas's time that if given the time, he'd get sick with the spear, with a copus, with the sword, with all of those things. I think he's shown that he has the ability to focus and to learn things and to become very strategic with them.
00:45:43
Speaker
Wolf in Leonidas' world, Wolf doesn't need modern tech to be lethal. His patience and precision, problem solving, those all translate perfectly for primitive combat, I think.
00:45:54
Speaker
I think he could thrive, but would he be able to be part of a large unit like the 300? That's a different thing for him, right? But he does he also thrives on information, right? So math, data, data.
00:46:08
Speaker
um He uses that even, you know technology uses that to to to defeat his enemy. Without those recon tools, he'd really have to just rely on his pure observation skills and memory and things like that. He's still freakishly good at it, but he is missing some of those tools that he's used before. But I think it could be fun to see Wolf in Leonidas's world.
00:46:29
Speaker
And and five vice versa on that, I'm thinking right now, Leonidas in Wolf's world. We already know that Leonidas is a badass with hand to hand combat and with knives and edge weapons.
00:46:40
Speaker
How would he do with more modern weapons like firearms? I'm going to say he would do fucking awesome because he clearly has the ability to learn anything. I mean, what we're not talking about, you know, being dropped off and you got five minutes to figure it out. Like if he had ah even a small amount of time.
00:46:55
Speaker
This guy is someone who knows how to train and focus and become a master of his weapons. So I think he'd be a badass with anything that he touches. I think so too. And Chris brought this up a couple of weeks ago that if he had, he he's he's a natural born warrior, he would have an inclination, a strong inclination to excel at these other more modern weapons. So I don't think that'd be a problem at all.
00:47:17
Speaker
I think maybe his biggest problem would be how subtle the Christian Wolf character has to be in that world, dealing with those high end crime rings and crime organizations. I don't think Leonidas' best skill is subtlety.
00:47:31
Speaker
You know, I think i think ah maybe intimidation and and and, you know, overwhelming force, things like that are are going to be right up his alley. But yeah, the subtlety part might be difficult.
00:47:42
Speaker
um he's I feel like he's also a tactician, though. But to to to both you guys' this point, he's definitely going to be able to adapt to the modern weapons and use it that way. But yes, I also think it'd be hilarious if he was walking around shirtless with those painted on abs as an accountant.
00:48:03
Speaker
Wolf walking around in Leonidas' world with an abacus.
00:48:10
Speaker
All right, let's talk about some favorite moments and signature scenes. There's a lot of them. And we've we've kind of tap danced around a lot of them already um ah without really diving into it. But this, if we're going to dive into anything, now's the time because we're in that third segment where you figure out this winner soon.
Key Scene Analysis
00:48:25
Speaker
Okay, one let me talk about one scene that I like. So remember, um I talked about, I made a previous comment before. This came after those comments where the Persians say they're going to blot out the sun with arrows. It was that mustachioed dude that I mentioned before.
00:48:41
Speaker
um They're going blot out the sun with arrows, right? And they they actually do it, which is actually pretty fucking cool. But it was like, you know what, when they did this, ah no big deal. All they did, all the 300 did, they just took cover.
00:48:54
Speaker
They used their shields. um and And propped them up like like tents, you know, ah and then they just had a had like a roast amongst themselves, just making fun of each other while they're sitting there fully protected. No big deal. All these thousands and millions of arrows raining down like it's the end of days.
00:49:09
Speaker
And what does Leonidas do? He doesn't panic. He doesn't just charge blindly. He just sits there and waits. They all wait. Shields up, cool as ice. I think this is like a ah killer example of what can make him dangerous, even against a modern warrior like Wolf, right? He can rip dudes in half. He can go crazy like a fucking buzzsaw. But this scene right here shows that he is also very calculating, very patient.
00:49:35
Speaker
And I think that's a very, very important skill. If he's going to be able to beat ah a machine like Christian Wolfe. Yeah, I can talk about a favorite scene, ah ah part where Leonidas was particularly ruthless.
00:49:47
Speaker
He's fighting one of the you know initial Persian battalions. They're coming at him strong, fending them off, and ah somehow they have this battalion sort of cornered at the edge of the cliff.
00:49:59
Speaker
So this is right after the scene that we've talked about previously, where it's sort of half in slow-mo and then sped up. And then the... final kill that Leonidas officially gets is the final blow. there There's a guy laying on the floor and he just stabs him through the chest and then he stands up and then one of the guys behind him says to the battalion that sort of backed up against the cliff edge, he the the guy says, they look thirsty.
00:50:27
Speaker
And Leonidas says, well, let's give them something to drink. And then he you know does this cool thing and they all do this cool thing with their shield and they bring their shields up in front of them. And then they start walking towards the warriors and the warriors are shit scared. They're all shitting themselves.
00:50:42
Speaker
um And they're getting backed up, backed up to the edge of the cliff. And then eventually they all just like slowly get pushed off into the, into the sea. And that's what the drink that Leonidas was referring to. And then directly after that ah is when they blow out the sun with the arrows.
00:51:01
Speaker
yeah And when they're able to, to just, you know, brush it off really easily. I feel like he would make a great eighties actor. He had some great one-liners. Let's give him a drink. This is Sparta stuff like that. You know, okay give him a machine gun. He could be the next Dutch or something like that in a eighties action movie.
00:51:16
Speaker
And pretty got pretty goddamn motivational too. For sure. Remember this day, man, or it will be yours for all time.
00:51:29
Speaker
He said some pretty cool things. Yeah. The, ah the opera styles, uh, voice, voice singing in the background. It's just so good. Yeah. The music is great. Yeah. So about Wolf, I wanted to bring something up here too, a signature scene that kind of also lends itself to to who's going to win this this thing.
00:51:48
Speaker
On more than one occasion, one example, of course, are these two, the two big shootout scenes at the end of each, at the end of each movie. We see him, you know, really he's at his very best. He's, he's marching through. He's very tactical. He's, it's like, he's doing math in real time, switching from one weapon to the next. He's reloading, like he's switching tabs,
00:52:07
Speaker
ah on his laptop and you're just watching this and you're actually believing that he is calculating angles he's timing things right there on the spot and to me that the this the scene at the end of um number two accountant two demonstrates that he's kind of raising the bar on efficiency and surgical precision he's not ever spraying bullets he's doesn't waste any movement and he, it seems like he has a clear plan worked out in his head already ah before it happens.
00:52:38
Speaker
And it's like every single move he makes is absolutely deliberate and masterful. And that is ah a pretty, a pretty tough thing to, for any opponent to be able to match.
00:52:49
Speaker
Yeah. It feels like with each and every matchup with the, the winner, uh, advancing, it just feels like they're getting better and better. ah Oh yeah. yeah Yeah. No question.
00:53:00
Speaker
Yeah. Where we make up these matchups and these fights and these wins that they get, it sort of, yeah, puts them on a ah different tier than, than before. Any thoughts on X factor for these guys?
00:53:13
Speaker
What makes them the most dangerous? I have some thoughts on X factor here. I'll, I'll start with Leonidas. This is one that we're mirroring from when he went up against William Wallace. His X factor is his why. Why does he do it?
00:53:26
Speaker
He does this because he's a professional. When I'm thinking about someone like Christian Wolf, he does it to support the neurological institute that his friend lives at. He does it you for for a job.
00:53:38
Speaker
If he didn't have to do this anymore, I don't think he would do this. I think he has a set of skills and he's using them towards a goal. king leonidas his x factor is he does this shit for fun it is all that he knows he he doesn't care if he makes money if he supports anything he fights because he fights that is his ethos and there's no other option there so i think that's part of his x factor is that he has such ingrained into his psyche that he is constantly a warrior and a warrior first
00:54:09
Speaker
Whereas I feel like Christian Wolf, he's he's a warrior as a means to an end in some ways. He's one of the most elite warriors that we'll see out here, but he's not a warrior because he wants to be a warrior. He's a warrior because it gets him to where he needs to go.
00:54:24
Speaker
I want to talk about path to victory. Now, clearly both of them have a path to victory. And i want I just want to mention a couple of things for both of these guys. For Leonidas, I think we know that he's more brutal, more aggressive, somebody who's going to charge and take the off offensive, maybe a little bit more so than Wolf.
00:54:43
Speaker
But I think that this might come down to whether or not Leonidas can drag this fight into a more of a bloody, sloppy, sweaty, close quarters brawl. Listen, Wolfe is no slouch up close. I mean, he's completely lethal, his hand-to-hand.
00:54:57
Speaker
If we did a Hell in a Cell, I still might pick Christian Wolfe over Leonidas. So I don't want to make it seem like that's going to be a victory for Leonidas if it's a hand-to-hand. But Leonidas does live in that world.
00:55:10
Speaker
I think he's probably faster. I think he's more aggressive. And like I said, I think he's probably more brutal when the distance closes than Wolf is. But right after that legendary, you know, come and get them line when the Persians advance, right?
00:55:24
Speaker
At first glance, i looked I watched this scene a couple times. The 300, they're badly outnumbered. they look like they're tucked away kind of in a little narrow cave opening, right?
00:55:35
Speaker
It almost looked like they were timid, almost hiding, kind of peeking around the corner like, oh, shit, here comes 3,000 and we're only 300. But then you realize they weren't being cautious. They were actually just baiting the Persians there.
00:55:47
Speaker
And they pulled them into a choke point. It was like a little, like a funnel of death kind of a thing, right? Where the, suddenly the numbers don't matter anymore. And I think that is really, ah you know, also we talked about tactical brilliance for Wolf.
00:56:03
Speaker
That's, that shows some tactical brilliance right there. Not just the brawn that we would normally see from, from Leonidas. Right. And this is the, this is what could be scary for Wolf. even though I pointed out some negatives in Leonidas' game just a minute ago, this is where it's scary for Wolf.
00:56:22
Speaker
If Leonidas can manipulate that battlefield to neutralize like a 10 to 1 numbers disadvantage, suddenly it seems like he's playing Wolf's game. He's playing the numbers game. He's playing the probability game.
00:56:34
Speaker
And the only difference is that Leonidas is adding that elite level aggression and brutality on top of it. So I do think that that's a path to victory for Leonidas. Now you make a really excellent point there. I couldn't agree more. And we've talked about Leonidas's ability to strategize before.
00:56:54
Speaker
um So not only is he, you know, brute force aggressive, but he's he's thinking about it before he just goes in swinging. um and And we've seen from the films for Christian Wolfe that he's typically on the back foot, he is under attack a lot of the time.
00:57:12
Speaker
um And then he he kind of goes on the counter offensive. um So I think it comes down to whether or not Christian Wolfe could come back from Leonidas attack or you know defend himself from a Leonidas attack.
00:57:27
Speaker
if he If he doesn't do it on that first try, then I think Leonidas hasn't cooked. Yeah, a typical path for victory against so many opponents for these people would be outsmarting them with strategy. But I don't know how these two out strategize each other. I feel like their wits are pretty matched here.
00:57:44
Speaker
King Leonidas with the way that he makes it all about setting and setting the right environment to meet his opponent. That's how the 300 could take them on is his strategy and the planning and That's kind of the same approach that Kristen Wolf is going to take going up against a greater force or somebody's not sure he can take on. You see how methodical he is in his planning and his execution of his movements out here.
00:58:06
Speaker
So I have to imagine that these two are pretty darn evenly matched when it comes down to it.
Strategic Approaches to Victory
00:58:11
Speaker
I see this coming down to a a physical weapons and hand-to-hand battle between the two of them. i don't know if they'll be able to outsmart each other.
00:58:18
Speaker
I think it's going to turn into who is the better fighter And I think that's going to be the path to victory for either of them is leaning into their fighting skills. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. I'll, I'll just add one more thing about Wolf since I talked about Leonidas there, but of course, of course, Wolf has a path to victory.
00:58:35
Speaker
Here's what is terrifying about this guy. Wolf puts you at a disadvantage the second the fight starts because I feel like in warfare, It's all a a big part of it is reacting to the unexpected. Right. You don't know what's going to happen there.
00:58:51
Speaker
But with Wolf, there's nothing unexpected at all. It feels like whatever unfolds around him, whatever attack comes his way, he's already thought of it. He's already accounted for it. And he's already run that like a simulation in his head.
00:59:05
Speaker
And that's one thing. He already recognizes it But not only that, I feel like he's already mapped out a perfect counterattack before you have have ever even made your move.
00:59:16
Speaker
And that is pretty frightening. And i think that that keeps Wolf in this game. And i think I think that that is the biggest skill set for Christian Wolf, even though we know that his hand-to-hand, his weapons, his military training, and everything to go...
00:59:34
Speaker
with it is already elite, but this might be his, his number one, uh, skillset.
00:59:43
Speaker
Now it's time settle the score.
00:59:55
Speaker
How do you guys feel about picking a winner? Do you think we have one yet? Oh boy. This is getting down to the wire and I am still on the fence. Okay. Jordan, how you feeling?
01:00:06
Speaker
I'll share a spoiler real quick but before we get to my take. I flip flop multiple times during this. I thought I had it and then I changed, then I changed again, then I changed again.
01:00:17
Speaker
So as we get further and further along in this tournament, we start to whittle down the contestants, the contenders to fewer and fewer. And obviously they just keep getting better and
Debate on Character X-factors
01:00:29
Speaker
better. And we'll, we're you know, eventually going to have, you know, a one V one of the top baddest, brutalist, you know, best fighters ah in movie history or TV history. So eventually i think we can draw comparisons between, you know, all of these top contenders.
01:00:48
Speaker
They all have the right skills. You know, they all have a, you know, very good hand to hand. They all have very good weapons skills. If we're going just based off of that, i think can, it can end up being pretty difficult to pick a winner. And I think you can see that that's obvious, even just from this episode, and we're not even in the apex eight yet.
01:01:09
Speaker
And so for me, what it came down to, I think with this matchup is what weaknesses, if any, do these fighters have, um, and do, and do any of their weaknesses stand out to the point that I could see it being a real disadvantage for them in, in deciding, uh, who wins or who loses.
01:01:30
Speaker
We talked lot about how Leonidas is brutal, he's aggressive, um he's excellent with hand-to-hand combat, or at least with martial weapons.
01:01:44
Speaker
He's an amazing tactician. and strategizer. and then in discussing Wolf, we've seen that his defense his defensive capabilities are above and beyond. I think that you know he could be one of the best ah defensive fighters ah in the tournament, which I think really plays into his ah X factor in regards to this matchup specifically.
01:02:13
Speaker
Going back to speaking about weaknesses, I really don't see Leonidas having any. I do feel Wolf, his weakness, unfortunately, could be his condition.
01:02:24
Speaker
If at any point Leonidas comes up with a way to distract him or to trigger him in a way that blocks Wolf's senses um and gives Leonidas an opening to to kill him, um i think it could be done.
01:02:41
Speaker
And so Wolf has a clear weakness, whereas Leonidas perhaps doesn't. I think Leonidas' weakness is the fact that he's willing to fight to the death.
Winner Deliberation: Christian Wolfe Advances
01:02:52
Speaker
And so with that being his only weakness and with his brutality and his aggressive fighting style, i could see Leonidas taking this one over Wolf. After William Wallace's loss and with them being so similar, I can't let my boy Leonidas go out on this one. So...
01:03:10
Speaker
I've got to pick Leonidas. Okay. Interesting. Okay. One vote for King Leonidas. All right. This is going to be a tough one. So look, Leonidas is fearless.
01:03:22
Speaker
He's relentless. And he we've said this before. He might be the most pure warrior in this entire tournament. But what we also know is every single great warrior has some crack in their armor.
01:03:33
Speaker
right Some weakness. The problem, and it's interesting that you said this a few minutes ago, problem here, I do not see a weakness or a crack in the armor for Christian Wolfe.
01:03:46
Speaker
I think he is elite at almost everything from what I'm seeing here. I think Christian Wolfe is a walking algorithm of violence. Every move Leonidas makes... Wolf has already accounted for it.
01:03:58
Speaker
Leonidas is not reckless by any sense, but his style assumes the enemy is going to meet him head on. That's what he's used to. Wolf won't do that. He, meaning Wolf, turns aggression, mayhem, um unpredictability. He turns that into his opponent's undoing, in my opinion.
01:04:18
Speaker
as deadly as King Leonidas is, I contend that Wolf has no weaknesses. He fights like a guy who's already mapped out every possible cause of death. And he just calmly is trying to decide which one he's going to use.
01:04:32
Speaker
And for me, that's why Wolf gets the edge and he's my pick to advance to the apex eight. Ooh, split decision. Here's how I see it going down.
01:04:44
Speaker
It's April 15th tax day.
01:04:51
Speaker
Leonidas is short a couple Helen ors. That's the ancient Spartan currency. ah
01:04:59
Speaker
And these two meet to, do to Duke it out after Wolf has done a forensic audit and determined that Leonidas hasn't paid his taxes because freedom.
01:05:11
Speaker
so He's the King. Who's he paying taxes to? Not Xerxes. All right. How how about this? Christian Wolf is the forensic accountant assassin for King Xerxes.
01:05:25
Speaker
Nice. Nice. These two are going to meet on the field of battle. They both have a plan to try and outsmart the other, but god that they're both, they're both so good at this. I don't see any of them taking it.
01:05:36
Speaker
necessarily when it comes down to planning because i I'm really going to give this to them equally. They're both going to go at it with their long-range weapons. Leonidas throwing his spears. Christian Wolfe, I guess not trying to shoot at him because we're keeping this even.
01:05:50
Speaker
But what I think this comes down to is going to be a hand-to-hand combat fight between the two of them. I i think they're both evenly matched in their weapons here. In the end, King Leonidas has the spirit that I don't think that Christian Wolfe has.
01:06:05
Speaker
I think That he is going to look him dead in the eyes with his dagger trying to drive it into Christian Wolf's heart. And he has that Spartan spirit. He has that Spartan spark that Christian Wolf doesn't quite have.
01:06:17
Speaker
But I don't think it matters. I think he has the heart, but honestly, I think Christian Wolf has the skill. I think that he is the more expert warrior, the more deliberate in all of his actions. I think when you look at their fighting history and you see the people that King Leonidas has gone up against, it has been a lot more Ian than the people that Christian Wolf has gone up against.
01:06:41
Speaker
I'm going to say Christian Wolf is the apex predator here. I don't care what year you drop him in. This guy is dialed Christian Wolf. is our winner Oh, my God. what What a roller coaster that was. Holy shit.
01:06:53
Speaker
Yeah, you're really you really left us on a cliffhanger there for a second. I thought you were picking Leonidas. I was about to go crazy. oh my God. Well, listen, this was the the... I think we all had good arguments. I was...
01:07:07
Speaker
Pretty impressed with both you guys and your logic to come up with this. And I kind of agreed with both of you. It's like, oh yeah, okay, that's why Leonidas is going to win. Oh yeah, that's why Wolfe is going to win.
Season Finale Reflection and Look Ahead
01:07:18
Speaker
but Kind of, you know, regardless that I had already decided on Wolfe. But um yes, so we have a winner. This is incredible. This is probably the most incredible matchup that we've had so far. And I think it's a fitting end to season one.
01:07:32
Speaker
To recap, we have Christian Wolfe. advancing to the apex eight, which is going to be a couple of seasons from now. He joins Rambo, John Rambo, who's also sitting there in the apex eight.
01:07:44
Speaker
This is going to be incredible guys. When this thing airs on Monday, we're going to have only two left from this bracket. We're going to take a few weeks off. Then we're going to start recording and getting a stockpile. So there'll be a little bit of a break and then we'll start with season two, which is the next bracket.
01:08:01
Speaker
So I'm pumped up about this. keep watching social media because we're going to start dropping names and kind of we'll let you know who's, who's coming up next and, and, and give you some spoilers and Easter eggs and things like that. But I couldn't be more pumped up about this.
01:08:15
Speaker
And we have two apex eight contestants already, Christian Wolf and John Rambo. Absolute badasses. I I'm stoked to see where they go.
01:08:27
Speaker
I can't believe you guys let me down again.
01:08:33
Speaker
Thank you for listening to the fictional fighting championship podcast, the world's premier destination for very serious conversations about completely made up fights produced by Chris Doherty against his better judgment.