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GLÜME is an art phenomenon. Whether she was plucked from the astral planes or the near-dream world she occupies a unique space in the heart.
Her album MAIN CHARACTER is a subtle and attractive dark-pop trance. HEAVEN makes you bounce as you slightly weep and pray your rosary.
Dream of your car floating in the clouds as you listen to THE QUEEN OF L.A.
Philosophy, artist-blue-balls, Marilyn Monroe, goddesses, dream-worlds, OnlyFans and the redirection of music revenue as a radical body-act are included in this Christmas present to you!
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:01
Speaker
You are listening to something rather than nothing. Creator and host Ken Volante. Editor and producer Peter Bauer.
00:03:03
Speaker
I'll be the girl I need the most For the mother with no home And the girl that gets you gold
Gloom's Musical Journey
00:04:03
Speaker
This is Ken Vellante with the Something Rather Than Nothing podcast and so excited to have Gloom on the show. Welcome on to the podcast, Gloom. Thank you for having me.
00:04:16
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, really excited. Been really digging on, really digging on your music, newer release main character. I enjoyed the vibe of it. I enjoy your singing as
00:04:37
Speaker
kind of dreamy. So I really dig on that. But you're also not only as a performer, artist, you're also heading up a record label. And that's something you're working hard on really now for an upcoming launch. I was kind of wondering about what's going on with that and what you're trying to do.
Funding the Label with Adult Entertainment
00:05:04
Speaker
Well, I was going to, I left my previous label and I was looking around and talking to other people at other labels. And in the meantime, in the interim, I was trying to figure out how to get by financially
00:05:23
Speaker
And I had made a GoFundMe to get back from Paris to Los Angeles. And I was pretty tired of making GoFundMe's. And so I was like, I think I'm going to make one of those only fans, I guess. And
00:05:45
Speaker
that did way better than I thought and so much better than I did. I realized this isn't like shopping money. I need to like invest this into something that matters. And so I started talking to my friends and everyone that I work with and my whole team and everyone just kind of jumped on board and
00:06:09
Speaker
Everyone I knew just came out of the woodwork and they were like, well, I want to work there. I want to do this. I'd like to do this there. And I suddenly just had this whole staff of people at this record label I just imagined up. And it's been really exciting. And we're talking to some pretty exciting artists.
00:06:28
Speaker
and we will be launching in January-February. We are very vocal about the fact that it is powered by porn or funded by it because there's a lot of trouble, especially indie labels,
00:06:46
Speaker
of making money and artists making
Critique of Traditional Labels
00:06:50
Speaker
money. I think everyone's just hoping to break even at best a lot of the time and I think giving out small but substantial advances
00:07:03
Speaker
And then having an artist in debt just enough to make it where they can't make it back from the small amount of sinks you get at an indie label. It's not like you're at Interscope and they're just like, you're on Euphoria right now. It's just like this thing, you get stuck and you're like, wait, well, I don't have time for a job. I can't work at Starbucks.
00:07:26
Speaker
and I'm touring all the time and that's not paying because that's paying back the advance you know and there's just this model I think it works a little better if you blow up on like a major and you're you know Taylor Swift Olivia Rodrigo I mean Taylor Swift had to she just re-recorded all her music so there's problems everywhere but um at the label I'm doing I'm kind of treating it more of like a it's like a
00:07:55
Speaker
the contract would be more I think you would say a management contract where I take like 15-20% but it's different where it's a label because I'm funding it with the adult film that I do and paying for publicity, tour support, etc. and I think personally on an indie level you know artists are working
00:08:25
Speaker
They're Themselves to the bone and they're sharing, you know, they're they're sharing like everything that they have and their music is coming from Then the depths of them and it's all of this stuff and and then you know They're not really like getting anything out of it other than sharing it. And so I don't feel comfortable taking their masters. I don't feel comfortable Taking like half of everything because I honestly didn't
00:08:51
Speaker
I didn't do anything to create the product and as an indie label, and as I've seen other indie labels, I'm not going to change their life enough to take away the thing that they made and that they should own. And if I do, that's great. Everyone's happy.
00:09:11
Speaker
I don't know. I'm not like, I guess, feeling like so much greedy in this as much as I just want to see people and artists win. And if some like major comes along and they find an artist on my label that they love and they just pay a bunch of money and change their lives, that's great. I'll be thrilled that that would be amazing.
Artists Choosing Between Indie and Major Labels
00:09:32
Speaker
So I just I know a lot of people who who have been burned and I'm talking to an artist right now.
00:09:40
Speaker
a really big artist that just left a major and they're talking between me and Warner Brothers. Well, that's a nice convo or at least a frame of the convo. Yeah, it's just kind of funny that anyone would be deciding between me and Warner Brothers because they're tired. I think they're very tired of the like, you know, I think that
00:10:09
Speaker
The idea of making money off of music right now is really, it's a complex thing and it's a really scary conversation that a lot of people don't want to have. I know a majority of my friends who do music secretly do sex work on the side to support themselves. And most people just think they're making music off touring and it's, you know,
00:10:34
Speaker
It's really like every, they keep saying, oh, the industry is different than it used to be. And it just keeps happening every six months, every year. You keep being like, wow, it's really not working even more. So yeah, I decided to start this label and fund it from something completely different.
00:10:56
Speaker
pay for the pr pay for the billboards pay for the tour whatever from this thing that this website that welcomed me generously and i um no kidding no kidding
The Business of Music and Adult Entertainment
00:11:11
Speaker
And yeah, so I'm pretty excited and it's kind of fun to talk about and people's eyes pop out when you try to explain your business to people at parties. But I think that's fun and I think
00:11:26
Speaker
Also think I spent so much of my time with somebody with other people monetizing my sexuality and selling me as like a sexual thing and I'd like to make the money in my bank account from that if anyone's going to so yeah, like the not to I mean like it's like the direct link and I don't know I'm thinking of it in the sense of
00:11:52
Speaker
you know, within music and the radical changes of being able to be paid and the type of models of maybe doing a label like you do or band camp, right, where there's this idea at least that
Direct Support vs Traditional Industry
00:12:06
Speaker
there's a direct transmission of support and the only fans, I mean, the same type of mechanism where it's a direct transmission of patronage, support payment. And it's so funny because I get fans on there and they'll talk about my album for a while and they'll go on like, Oh, I really like this sound. I like this sound. And then they'll be like, can you take a video of yourself in the shower? And then they'll offer a hundred dollars. And I'm like, okay,
00:12:34
Speaker
And it's just such a strange, it's like, but it's like such a wholesome interaction. And then they request that and I'm like, yeah, that's a good price. And so.
00:12:43
Speaker
Yeah. I was thinking about the label and it's really kind of cool. I released an episode today with Pieda Brown, a folk singer, and she's on Righteous Babe, Ani DeFranco's record label. I had such a conversation and it was really
00:13:10
Speaker
I'm not a musician, I haven't been in the industry, but I've heard so many of the artists I interview talk about the experience of the label, of artist support, of people just trying to expropriate from artists or an ethos. And so I was excited to hear about the ethos that you were talking about of how you're trying to do it because of a connection between
00:13:37
Speaker
making great art and getting paid for that art and not being fleeced. Exactly.
Artists Deserve Financial Freedom
00:13:46
Speaker
If they get a really big sink on television, I want them to get a really big check. It's a different idea though, it seems. Yeah, it's a weird idea to pay them.
00:14:02
Speaker
Well, I think one of the things is so I do this, I've done this podcast, and it's like, over 200 episodes. And I think one of the interesting pieces for me as the host is I do different things, but I'm a labor organizer, union guy, and I have this whole art side that I developed.
00:14:20
Speaker
But what I find interesting is when I talk to artists, like I have a knowledge and a passion or interest about what they're doing, but I have no skin in the game. Like I don't, you know what I mean? Like I just really like to find, like I get, I'm really excited about your music and I'm like, Oh, I would like to talk to gloom. And I think,
00:14:39
Speaker
the competition or the way the industry that you have to operate in it, you kind of have to have an eye on folks and being like, all right, which piece of me is somebody trying to get and just having a conversation about like, there's no angle, you know, or like, let's be upfront and like, let's support each other, like collectively or something.
00:15:01
Speaker
I think it, I think that it promotes a really good environment for everyone to succeed because everyone's motivated because everyone's getting something out of it. And it also promotes an environment where instead of being like a toxic like family, like I know like I've been at workplaces where they're like, Oh, it's family, it's family. And you always read online, like that's a huge red flag. Don't say your family like
00:15:25
Speaker
say you're a cult before you say you're a family. Interesting. With my friends that I'm working with and artists that I'm working with, I just want to see them do really well and I believe in them and I believe in their music and I hope that I'm able to take them to another level that
00:15:50
Speaker
I figured out how to get to that I kind of know the pathway to at least for them to at least give them a boost and give them an opportunity to have their shot. And I think a lot of people don't know how to do that that are artistically inclined because it's such a different part of the brain.
Balancing Creativity and Business
00:16:08
Speaker
I think I'm kind of a weird person because I started working when I was six years old and I've been considering finances and mortgage since I was six years old. I still think about my family and making sure that they're okay every month and now if they get money they don't know it's coming from OnlyFans but it is and they don't need to know that but they're okay and that's the important part.
00:16:38
Speaker
But my mind has always been wrapping my head around how to do things with business. So I've always been able to kind of try to figure out how to get, you know, how to open doors without having been grandfathered in by a family member or nepotism or some sort of thing where I'd obviously just be like welcomed. But like, you know, kind of weaseling my way in from like growing up in Artesia and having nothing. But knowing that I have something to offer,
00:17:06
Speaker
artistically and knowing some I have something to offer in terms of like a personality and like a performer, but knowing that I also have to figure out the business of it because I don't have anyone doing that or holding my hand. And so I had to figure that pretty young. And so I don't think my brain would have maybe like
00:17:24
Speaker
naturally done that had it not been like a make it or break it thing like my parents kept you know kept having evictions and things like that and so it became like a survival thing where I had to figure out how to make money when I was really
00:17:42
Speaker
at a formative age. And so I think am I naturally like a business person? I'm not sure. I know that both of my parents are not. They just want to read books and write books and just philosophize.
00:17:59
Speaker
They're not money minded and I get it. I would love to just run into a field in Versailles and read, you know, Proust and just ignore the whole thing. But I do have to pay for dinner.
00:18:13
Speaker
And I do have to pay my rent. And so it's always been kind of a struggle because that part of me that writes songs and writes films and whatever, it doesn't want to do the other things. No, I just want to be free. And then there's the other part of me that's like, you have to get up and get in the office and return all of those emails or else you're screwed. And so I have a really good
00:18:42
Speaker
way and figuring out a way of navigating things that I think probably must have come from child acting like everyone thought.
The Art of Asking and Facing Rejection
00:18:51
Speaker
With my last album, we had incredible people. We had Rufus Wainwright, Seanan Olinen, Starfucker of Montreal. Incredible. Incredible. That was literally just me sending out cold emails that I tried to make sound decent enough that they would respond to them. Good for you. Good for you.
00:19:11
Speaker
And they did. And everyone thinks like, oh, who hooked that up for you? And I'm like, I did. And I found their management. And then I found this email. And I found this. That's all I ever did. I totally get that. And doing the show, I referred like a pivotal thing happened to me. And I never expected it was Amanda Palmer's book, The Art of Asking. Yes. Yeah, I know that book. Yeah.
00:19:40
Speaker
Well, there's a million reasons it blew me away, but I had had a tendency as a philosopher, I'm from the East Coast, maybe a bit brash of asking questions. Me too. Yeah, cool. But there was this additional piece in Amanda Palmer where
00:20:06
Speaker
I see such bravery and such like, she would talk about being you might remember being like as a human statue in like Cambridge, Massachusetts, and it's raining out and she's there for hours and, you know, just like
00:20:21
Speaker
Like doing it trying to get through and to make it in the courage that was built up like you asking those it's from it's like the art of asking it's like I'm gonna ask the question and I'm gonna look stupid as fuck sometimes but Go for it
00:20:42
Speaker
Absolutely. I think, um, I think I lost the feeling of embarrassment and that got knocked out of me in somewhere in elementary school. Cause when you do auditions every day and they're just like, okay, no cry, no dance. Now you have a crush on this guy, but then you're going to walk out sobbing and then, okay, thank you. Bye. Like your embarrassment threshold just starts
00:21:08
Speaker
going down and you're just like, honestly, I don't give a fuck. I think like the worst thing that can happen is that they say, I don't want to work with you. And okay, that's fine.
00:21:27
Speaker
No, I mean, literally, that's the worst thing that's going to happen to you. I think like rejection is just who cares? Like you could you're going to end up kind of.
00:21:42
Speaker
making it in yourself anyway, if you don't ask, you're going to make this weird feeling of like, oh, they wouldn't have wanted me. You're going to fill up the narrative in an unpredictable way. Either way, you're going to feel bad. You might as well just make noise and see if they say yes. And if they say no, or if you don't ask, you're going to feel the same. So at least with one, there was an option of yes.
00:22:10
Speaker
We're definitely preaching to each other right now. Absolutely. No, absolutely. And I think that's really cool. Like one of the coolest stories I have in doing the podcast for
00:22:23
Speaker
four and a half years is I've gotten written no's from Joan Jett twice. So fuck you. I got two no's from Joan Jett. No other people have two no's. So I like it. And next year I'm going to send it again. And I'm going to say, I still want to talk to you Joan because I love you. That's amazing. Yeah. I think I got one no on the album, but it was a
00:22:52
Speaker
next one. I'll do the next one. I'm just out of town. I didn't even feel that bad. No, you're batting a thousand, so stick with that. You're going to have three swings and misses, and you're going to be okay with those, or maybe they'll all come in. I didn't even think about it. Think about it. When you grow up,
00:23:14
Speaker
You go on thousands of auditions, you get several sometimes. Think about the ratio of no's. Oh gosh. Eventually, you go to the audition and you forget that ever happened. The second you walk out the door, you're like, I don't know. What did I do today? I'm not sure. Because if you dwell on it, you're going to be the saddest child.
00:23:42
Speaker
I think like I just don't think like I'll just send stuff out I'll just you know oh this could be a cool thing and and then I just kind of I just kind of forget about it and then if it comes back to me and it's like hey we like this idea I'm like oh wow that is so cool I forgot I sent that and then on top of it like you know the the the like blessing that I've gotten from
00:24:10
Speaker
behaving in the way of choosing to be brave has created such incredible relationships and mentorships that I don't think I would ever, ever, ever have from where I came from in life and who I know and what I was.
00:24:29
Speaker
I had a really hard day the other day and I shared about it in my story. I cried. Sometimes I'll check with my PR and be like, sorry. They're like, no, that's okay, so vulnerable, love it. But I got messages from people I really look up to, some of the people I collaborated with on the album. They were like, these long messages of just encouragement and I was just like,
00:24:58
Speaker
They're like real, they're like real. They're just like friends that like actually care.
00:25:05
Speaker
I thought, you know, you don't want to presume like it's just like for all I know. Yeah, we collaborated. That was I'm already. Yeah, sure. And then when they take interest in your life and just be like, no, let's be friends. Like I'm just like, I don't even know
Collaboration and Opportunities
00:25:20
Speaker
what to say. Like I, I think Rufus Wainwright, he was on tour for a while and he got back in town and he asked me to come have lunch at his house and I was like, what do you mean?
00:25:32
Speaker
Yes, Rufus. Yes, Rufus. Then he asked for me to sing with him at a show at the Ace Theater in March. They're doing this musical, and there's this duet number between him and a girl, and he asked me to do it, and I was just like, wow. If I had never sent that email two years ago to be on my album, this is crazy. Awesome.
00:26:03
Speaker
The worst thing that's going to happen is people say no, but people say no to us all the time. I get more anxiety checking out at a grocery store than most other crazy fucking things that I do.
00:26:18
Speaker
the things that I ask, the things that I do, the performances I do, the costumes I wear, the videos I send, but only fans. No concern. Then I go and I'm in the line at Trader Joe's and I'm like, oh my God, they're in such a hurry and I'm not putting my change away fast enough. I don't know. I grew up, I only know performance and entertainment. Then you put me out in the world and I'm like, ah,
Influence of Twin Peaks and David Lynch
00:26:46
Speaker
Yeah, so it's like, hey, I'm not too worried of asking this, a phenomenal musical artist in the world and trying to get that, but the person behind me is getting angry at me because-
00:27:00
Speaker
Exactly. So there we are. Okay, I want to say I did see maybe on Instagram there, you mentioned Twin Peaks. Yes. And so, you know,
00:27:21
Speaker
when you see somebody else who drops into that. And so I was so excited because one of the pieces I thought of or I made a connection in my head was that
00:27:37
Speaker
I saw you in that world.
00:27:57
Speaker
80s and 90s kind of soft, maybe a little bit of space rock, Hollywood, and some pop, and some of the gloss, and Mulholland Drive, and a Lynch woman, and the style, and the shot. So I saw it and all that, and then you're talking Twin Peaks. So tell me, why do you love Twin Peaks? Tell me about Twin Peaks.
00:28:24
Speaker
Okay, so I first got into Twin Peaks a long time ago, but before I got into it at all, everyone always said, Oh, that's very like David Lynch, like all these things that I did are made or songs or outfits or like just styles. I was like,
00:28:44
Speaker
people will be like, you're very lynching or whatever. And I was like, what does that mean? And so then in high school, I was like, I'm watching this show. And I was like, OK, that's a fair that's a fair assessment. I get I get what happened here. Yeah.
00:29:02
Speaker
I don't know David, but I do know that miraculously he knows of me and one song of mine. And that's all, you know, I can die happy right there. But he loves this song. This is from like a duop song called Come Softly to Me. And so we recorded him like a more modern version of that.
00:29:32
Speaker
That was the coolest thing ever. But I have loved David Lynch since, yeah, since I was a teen. And I don't know. I think there's something
00:29:46
Speaker
whatever weird. I found something out that he was going to make. I was trying to make the same thing before I ever knew he was trying to make it. Then I was like, okay, that's it. I feel like I don't know what happened there with
00:30:08
Speaker
our upbringings and what formed us to think these things. But he was trying to make this movie called Venus Descending, and it was based on the life of Marilyn Monroe, which was based on this book called Goddess.
00:30:29
Speaker
And he was going to change their name to Rosalyn Ramsey and JFK was Phillip something. And it was on Warner Brothers and they were very excited about it. And then all of a sudden they knew he was going to suggest that Marilyn was murdered.
00:30:49
Speaker
And then that was fine. And then suddenly it wasn't. And the production was scrapped. And there's a lot of mystery and speculation about that.
00:31:02
Speaker
So then he went in to do, and he made Twin Peaks, which was the suburban, very vague telling of the story he wanted to tell in this very abstract way. And so he just went and took what he was gonna do, which was very straight, well, not very straightforward, it's David Lynch, but more straightforward. And he made it even more,
00:31:30
Speaker
confusing so that no one could ever point back to that. I think eventually was honest about it, but he always said that everything he did had to
Connection to Marilyn Monroe
00:31:41
Speaker
do with it. It was always about Marilyn Monroe.
00:31:44
Speaker
And I grew up with a weird upbringing. My mom was a lot like Marilyn Monroe's mom, and she would have these scares, and we'd end up picking her up at a mental institution because she didn't want to live. And we were always trying to keep her happy.
00:32:10
Speaker
always this kind of fear that she was gonna you know, she talked about suicide a lot and would end up in mental institutions and I thought that I was a total freak in high school for like all of that like having to like every time I would go to like, you know, she there would be like a 5150 thing and I'd end up with like some hospital and they're like and they're like
00:32:36
Speaker
I can never tell friends at school about that. If I was in school that year, I still wouldn't even tell my actor friends about it on set. I just felt like a total freak.
00:32:51
Speaker
Then my therapist who luckily I had for 15 years, she was six to graduation. I think my dad was like, we need another girl lady in here. That's really good and I'm really glad. But she gave me a Marilyn Monroe book and she said,
00:33:18
Speaker
I asked her one day, like, I don't have a female role model. I don't know how to be a woman. I don't know what that's like. I'm such a tomboy. And she said, well, she's like, you know, that's how Marilyn Monroe's life was. But she turned out to be the biggest female icon of all time.
00:33:35
Speaker
And it was like immediately I was like I went from freak to I am glamorous. Oh my gosh, like I have the same life as Marilyn Monroe. The glam I felt suddenly I was just like, oh, I'm just a tortured beautiful.
00:33:50
Speaker
It was just this whatever messy teen version of the takeaway of that was, but then I eventually matured with the idea of that and got a better handle on what she was suggesting. But I was so obsessed with Marilyn because I felt like, okay, this is the only person that existed that understands me.
00:34:16
Speaker
Then I also had some weird stuff on my dad's side. My grandfather worked on Apollo 11, and I know that he knew the Kennedys. And so between my mom and my dad, and there was the drama with that, which I will not get into because I'm not interested in getting murdered. I just felt like, gosh, there's so much here. I feel like I just relate to this lady so much when I was a kid.
00:34:46
Speaker
So I was Marilyn obsessed and then I thought, God, I think that it's so sad how much we've misunderstood her and what happened and what very obviously happened. Then I wanted to make an album about it. I was about to make an album.
00:35:11
Speaker
And then someone told me, oh, you have to look at this this movie that David was going to make called Venus descending. It's the album you want to make based on the same book you're basing your album on. And I was like, God damn it.
00:35:27
Speaker
And then I found out that's where he pivoted and made Twin Peaks. And I was like, I just think that makes total sense. And it's like, no wonder I'm Twin Peaks obsessed because that was probably just so aimed at my brain. There's, wow, there's, there's, there's his full target audience.
00:35:44
Speaker
There's so much here, and I know you'll indulge some of this. I don't know how much. But one thing about Marilyn Monroe, ever since I was a little kid. So I'm 51, born in 72. I was born exactly 10 years after she died. OK.
00:36:02
Speaker
exactly to the day, 10 years. So when I was a little kid, I was always fascinated by women and loved to look pictures at women. Marilyn Monroe was like,
00:36:18
Speaker
wow like you know and um but was pretty interesting even as a young kid you know growing up in the 80s stuff like i read some of the biography stuff like i was immediately super intrigued being like wait a second there's a lot going on with her like once you start looking in one piece is i wanted to tell you because i noticed some of the uh
00:36:43
Speaker
Marilyn Monroe is like the themed videos that you had was the first thing I thought of I adore.
00:36:51
Speaker
I'm a huge Truman Capote fan and his interview with Marilyn in Music for Chameleons called A Beautiful Child. It's such a beautiful like human type of work and with Capote's poetry and she comes in and she's a bit sloppy.
00:37:20
Speaker
Yeah, you know, and it's a very human and real. It's a it's a beautiful piece. But I saw I thought of it. I was like, I got to remember to bring up Truman Capote and music for chameleons.
00:37:32
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Well, she's she's interesting, right? Because she she had a very, very high IQ, but she also didn't have like higher education and was very aware of that and self-conscious about that. And so she was always reading and people always thought that was for publicity. But I think she knew that she was a force to be reckoned with in her like deep within her. She knew she was a very intelligent person.
00:38:02
Speaker
But then I think all these men were just like, oh, you are an orphan. What do you know? Back then, she couldn't be like, well, I have an IAQ and they tested me in high school and I got a grant. But they didn't really think about that at the time. They just wanted what was on paper and she didn't have that. She would just crave
00:38:30
Speaker
learning and knowledge and growing, just always being teachable. And so she was very interesting because sometimes she would say things that sounded very messy or kind of sloppy. And then sometimes she would say things that you're like, whoa, that is so
00:38:53
Speaker
How did you just come to mind? And so you could see that thing there where she has this brain, this mind that's incredible. I think she had a higher IQ than Einstein. But then she had this life where no one cultivated that for her. And so she did that, tried to do that for herself as she was an adult. And it made for just a very interesting human. Oh, yeah.
Gloom's Upbringing and Family Influence
00:39:22
Speaker
Yeah, I I think I had like a pretty weird Like schooling experience like I couldn't I can't like math is not like at my label. That's not my job That's why other people yeah, that's not that's not what I'm here for we have someone else for that but I
00:39:45
Speaker
I like I my dad did philosophy and so homeschooling I did philosophy classes and I did one class in fifth grade on the study of iconography what makes an icon and fifth grade I really needed to know that and fourth grade was me I don't know I can't I think I accomplished something else in fourth grade but what really stood out is that I figured out Judy Garland's vibrato that year
00:40:12
Speaker
It was a very particular vibrato, and I needed to figure that out that year. I think I'd seen a community theater production of Wizard of Oz, and I was like, that didn't sound like Judy, and it really bothered me. I was like, how did she do that? Her vibrato is different. She has a different vibrato than most musical theater people, and I had to figure it out. I spent a year with a voice teacher
00:40:35
Speaker
I don't know. I did some school, but my dad was really focused on English, history, philosophy. Also, he was a counselor and he was a pastor. He was a disgruntled, had quit pastor because I think he was too liberal for
00:40:59
Speaker
the church. And so he had a mixed bag with that. I think he still has the Bible close to his heart, but very angry at the politics. And so I can respect that, but he's a really cool guy. And he
00:41:22
Speaker
every unusual guy to you normally when you hear like and he was a pastor like oh um but he's he's uh i don't know i think i got some of my personality and definitely a lot of my personality from his his dad and my grandfather
00:41:40
Speaker
the guy who worked at NASA. He started from nothing, went to car sales, was a car salesman, and then he was really high up on the Apollo 11 mission. I feel like that's a really awesome jump and he must have really figured some shit out. I feel like I get that. But my dad, he's like, just picture Steve Martin.
00:42:04
Speaker
And that's all you need really. Wow. He's just that he's like that funny and like not like a like a downgraded like I'm being honest, you know, like I don't want to like, you know, he knows he knows he's a charming fellow. He's actually like that funny. And he's a very he's very intelligent and I don't know very witty. It's just in the family. Everyone's a funny person. But he
00:42:30
Speaker
We focused on philosophy, we focused on literature, we focused on history, and we focused a lot on character development. That was a very big part of school, which I thought was normal. But my dad really cared. If I came in and I was like, I hung out with Sarah and she said this and da, da, da, and he'd be like, well, is that the right way to handle that though? Because he's like, well, how did Sarah feel? And I'd be like,
00:43:01
Speaker
What do you mean? And then we'd have to talk about it, and I'd sit down, and I'd be like, well, Sarah was really looking forward to blah, blah, blah. And I'd be like, oh, OK, yeah. I'll be back. I'm going to go apologize to Sarah. And it was so weird, because I thought that was just so normal. But then I see a lot of parenting where kids just act like little shits, and their parents are like, I don't know.
00:43:29
Speaker
And I'm really glad that he like he did not I was not allowed to be yeah, we had empathy or else Cultivated cultivated character. It was very it was a very pressured empathy and so yeah, like I mean no, I think I think I probably just like got a lot from him cuz he's very caring and wants to help people but
Scandal and Resolution
00:43:56
Speaker
sometimes I feel like I, you know, like I don't know when is perfect and I sometimes feel like I bite off more than I can chew in terms of like what I can have to learn boundaries and you know, I can help, you know, yeah, I can help with that. I can help with that. And then I'm just like, okay, now everyone's gonna be mad at me because I said yes to too many things and I can't come through. So it's like, that's always my lesson is just like, you have to say no sometimes when people are like, hey,
00:44:24
Speaker
You seem really nice. Will you do this for me?" And I'm like, actually, I did have plans today. You did it. You did it. You did it in practice with me. Good on you. Yeah, and it was hard, but it's hard and I definitely like.
00:44:42
Speaker
I think I had a big scandal recently on Reddit where I was scamming a lot of people. There were like two people and two of the accounts I think I know were personal people that knew me who didn't end up getting to date me.
00:45:00
Speaker
personal I think it had nothing to do with my depop account but um I I had there were like a couple of orders that I was trying to figure out like what happened because I was looking at my depop there was a reddit forum like she's she's a scam artist she's she's selling all these like these um vinyl she's not sending them to people yeah she's a swindler just like her old label and I was just reading this and I was like oh no this is bad and I
00:45:27
Speaker
looking at my Depop account for angry messages or people being like, I didn't get it. I just had all five star reviews of people being like, got it really quickly. It was packaged well, great love of the record. I was like, okay, well, where's this happening? I posted on my stories, if you haven't gotten anything in the mail, please message me. I heard from one person and then they deleted their Instagram account. I was like, well, I don't know.
00:45:56
Speaker
how to help you. That was one of the things where I was just like, okay. That's just psychological harm. I was like, okay, next time we do sales, I'm going to do it with people who know how to do sales and shipping and packaging and
00:46:13
Speaker
Because I was pretty sure everyone got everything I said. I have the sense that they probably did. And you spent a lot of time making sure that was the case, too. I did. And I left little lipstick marks on all of the things. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. OK.
00:46:33
Speaker
But I just was like, OK, we're overextending. And so this one girl actually messaged me. And she's like, oh, the one I said didn't come. It finally came in the mail. And you had refunded me. But it just took a while. And I was like, oh, I'm so glad you got it. That makes me so relieved because I thought something was going on with the place I was mailing stuff out of. It wasn't a post office. It was like a mailing store.
00:47:03
Speaker
And she's like, no, no, I got it. She's like, it just took a while. And I was like, oh, I'm so glad to hear it. She's like, well, how do you want me to pay you? And I was like, just to have the album. It's been a long day with people. And I was like, we'll just take one. And then because she had my return address, because I was just, I didn't have an office yet. So there's like 30 people in the world who know where I live. And I hope they're all nice.
00:47:31
Speaker
She mailed me back $30 cash and I was like no I insist on you taking this because of this album Lola and I was just like that's so kind like I I really just wanted her to have it because it took so long for it to come and Then she wrote me this really like a nice life and it made the whole reddit thing better and I was like, okay that feels way more like accurate to my Yeah, let's let's yeah, let's clear the let's clear the whole the whole record here. I um, I
00:48:01
Speaker
No, it's nice to talk to you about the Twin Peaks and lynch stuff. No, I saw you. I'm like, she sings at the Roadhouse. There's no fucking way she doesn't sing at the Roadhouse. Just you singing at the Roadhouse, like the chromatics and Nine Inch Nails and just that set moving scene. And there you are. So, yeah.
00:48:26
Speaker
Oh yeah, that's the ultimate dream is to sing at the Roadhouse. Absolutely.
00:48:31
Speaker
Absolutely. All I need to do is dance. I just need to dance at the Roadhouse or start a bar fight, whatever the end scene of somebody starts throwing a punch at the end of the episode. Speaking of asking, I emailed David Lynch's producer because I had found it through someone I used to work with at Disney when I was a child.
00:48:58
Speaker
I was like, hi. I didn't have any music out yet, but I was like, I really want to work. If he does another return thing, I was like, here's my headshot. Here's some demos. You go after. Yeah. She was like, thank you. I'll keep them on file. I was like, when my music was doing better and I knew
00:49:26
Speaker
I was one step away from David in several directions of people. I was like, oh, I want to email her again. But someone I was working at the time was like, don't do it. And I was like, oh. But now that I'm not with them, she might be getting another email.
00:49:45
Speaker
I think it's so funny because some of your art ideas and pursuits that move aggressively, I think you just ended up being subject to some of the same tactics from me of the end. It was probably like, I'll do the show because he seems to be approaching me the way that I would approach.
00:50:04
Speaker
I know. Somebody else. I know. Now, I want to ask you a question about David Lynch. Have you ever read or listened to the biography, the biography of David Lynch that was written by somebody and he responds in each alternating chapter to the chapter that was written about his life story?
David Lynch's Influence on Women in Trouble
00:50:29
Speaker
Um, wait, what was that? He, the, so the book is, I think it's a place called like, uh, it's about, it's a biography and it's called close to home. So, uh, the way it's done is that the author tells about an event.
00:50:43
Speaker
or David Lynch's life and in the ensuing chapter, David Lynch responds to it with like, maybe this is what actually happened or this is my take. Oh, I've not read that. Oh, I got so this is why I'm asking you because I listened to it.
00:51:00
Speaker
And David Lynch does the reading of his own chapters, the ones that are after the biographer. And I want to tell you this, because it's one of the funniest things I ever listened to, is there's this long chapter, the author is describing David Lynch in high school, right? And done this research, and this is what he did, and this is what he did. It goes on for five, 10 minutes.
00:51:27
Speaker
And then you're waiting and it cuts over to David Lynch, kind of like in big long chapter. And all you hear is, I fucking hated high school. And I lost my shit listening to it because I'm ready for...
00:51:45
Speaker
you know, 20 minutes, the authoritative version of like, what was for me, and it's like, I fucking hated high school. And I was like, I lost my shit. It was the most unexpected, most unexpected shortest chapter since like Faulkner. I was like, Oh my goodness, this is amazing. Honestly, same.
00:52:07
Speaker
David wasn't meant to go to have the hierarchies of high school and the ASB and the jocks. Hey, I want to ask you, Gloom, about a question I'm really interested in hearing your opinion on about Lynch's women, right? There's quite complicated debate, you know, because in his movies,
00:52:34
Speaker
they tend to focus on the prominent, powerful, persevering woman. But women also tend to be the targets of bad events or violence, and sometimes in a way that's really harsh. So there's like a complicated relationship within the film of Lynch. What do you think about it? What do you see in Lynch's work?
00:53:03
Speaker
When it comes to that He talks about how I think it I think it I think it all comes back to that that formative thing where he was making that that movie with mark about Maryland, but he said his it was a I don't remember where the quote was from but he said
00:53:25
Speaker
that he was telling the story of a girl in trouble. And so I think, I think like, I don't know, you know, I don't know David and
00:53:38
Speaker
I don't want to presume it could be absolutely wrong, but as an artist myself, the one who's also similarly interested in that particularly, well, the exact same person as he was, I think he really wanted to tell that story.
00:54:00
Speaker
And I think sometimes when you want to tell a particular story, and I find this to be true when I'm writing an album or a script or whatever, until I get to tell a story the way that I really intended to tell it, it just keeps recycling itself in different ways in my art. It's just trying to escape and get out.
00:54:26
Speaker
And I'm like, okay, well, it can kind of be like this and that. And the longer I go, like I think because
00:54:36
Speaker
the subject matter he was excited to talk about you leak you you literally can't talk about i was actually um told i had a song i named goddess after the book that i released and i was it ended a little bit more suggestively and i was told by my legal team to not do that and i got nervous and changed it because they listed all the people
00:55:03
Speaker
who had suggested that, who had not lived to see more days. And they said, we don't know if any stories have to do with it, but we would suggest you leave it open. And I was like, wow, OK, so I'm never going to give my full opinion on that. That's terrifying. And I think that he
00:55:27
Speaker
she really wanted to tell a story about this one girl in trouble and he came to care about her so much and I think that that that narrative and that um and however I know some people argue like that it's not you know it's not feminist or it's not like a strong woman a girl in trouble she's a damsel in distress and it's just like well
00:55:50
Speaker
No, the guy was trying to tell a story about a woman who was very in trouble. She literally got whatever we say she got. I'm trying to think of an inappropriate way to say it.
00:56:12
Speaker
What jury is it? Can I say? Rock and roll. I think he got like like art blue balls and he really wanted to tell the story about this thing and he was about to and he was very excited about it. And then they're like, no. And I think that like you're like, oh my God, no. And so, you know, then he made Twin Peaks and you can see it throughout his stories that that particular
00:56:40
Speaker
that particular tale is interesting to him. And obviously not to undermine his work that he doesn't tell a bunch of different nuanced stories and beautiful things. They're all very different. I mean, Blue Velvet is very different from, that's a whole different thing. But I think he has a heart for that, that made him feel a compassion for that. And whether or not certain people find that to be like,
00:57:11
Speaker
making women seem helpless or whatever, I find it sweet, I guess. Yeah. And I see it, and it's interesting to the woman in trouble, the subtitle of Inland Empire. And I don't know, I just hear and you say that in relation to that, just this echo, I hadn't seen or just
00:57:36
Speaker
I guess the art blue balls, right? So I mean, I got these, I remembered certain expressions throughout this interview that have stuck out for me. I recognized, I heard one expression, which was a Proust and Versailles. And then I heard forced empathy. And recently I heard art blue balls. So these things are sticking in my head. So you got that down. That's the poet piece of it. I don't even have that written down at all. I'm just like, what the heck was that? She just said.
00:58:09
Speaker
Um, but no, there's some there is that there's and and I think it's complicated and it's not simple in even when I tried to um Not write about it or just address it as like what type of issue it was like women within twin within Twin Peaks in an article I had written I realized even when I introduced the idea of like is it like
00:58:34
Speaker
is it is it is it feminist or not feminist it's not misogynist it's depicting this violence but it's also it's you know it's tough it's tough to navigate and i think it's a great um
00:58:50
Speaker
a great way to engage with the text, but the women are the heroes. Like when you take Naomi Watts, like her performance and like Mulholland Drive, like her being like, that's her first big role. And plus the subtext of her showing up in Hollywood in the splitting of identity, it's like fucking mind blowing. I'm like, those performances like almost like hurt my skin, like watching that.
00:59:22
Speaker
But it's that powerful. And yeah, thanks for putting that thread in there about the main thing that keeps recurring in the role of, I hadn't read or pulled that together, the role of that story of Marilyn Monroe and like,
00:59:39
Speaker
I think, yeah, I think he had a lot. I think after, I mean, I've read that book and you do leave that book overwhelmed with a lot of compassion for her. And then you are very moved to write about it. It is something about the writer, I'm blanking on his name, because they did actually a Netflix special on his book, which they changed the ending of because Netflix was scared, but as am I.
01:00:10
Speaker
So the book, Goddess, is really interesting because you leave it and you feel extreme compassion for Marilyn Monroe and you also feel
01:00:23
Speaker
It just so much of it is so relatable to your own life. There's so many matter who you are. I mean, everyone has this very elevated, unrelatable version of her where she is a female icon, orphan, drug addiction.
01:00:45
Speaker
And not all of us are living that life. That's quite unique. But it's much more relatable than I think people who don't take a look want to know it's just a broken childhood. Trying to get by and getting some luck because she had, when you have a broken childhood, you work
01:01:15
Speaker
desperately, not just hard, but you're desperate.
01:01:19
Speaker
And so I think that desperation got her as far as she, that's why she was just catapulted herself into being an absolute the star. And then also the one thing that makes me very frustrated is the pill she was taking at the time, every other housewife was taking those pills. It wasn't unique to Marilyn Monroe.
01:01:46
Speaker
It wasn't a unique Marilyn Monroe story. It wasn't this tragic Marilyn Monroe end that's unique to Marilyn. I mean, that was there Xanax at the time. And we all take everyone. I mean, I don't take Xanax, but I know lots of people who take Xanax. And no one's having, you know, sensationalized stories if someone takes a Xanax. I mean,
01:02:09
Speaker
no one's like oh my god like that person's in trouble like it's just like oh yeah you have anxiety i get it so i think when we it's like when we look at the bible and you don't read it in hebrew like it's different like you're looking at the 50s you didn't live then and you're like oh Marilyn Monroe was a wild woman with her barbiturates
01:02:30
Speaker
And it's like, well, no, she was just a regular woman who was going through a time trying to have a child and trying to find a man to give her a child. Like we all, you know, honestly, frankly, I get it. I'm in my 30s. I'm like, same. And it's a weird time. And I I'm on Klonopin. And that's that's my I maybe back then they would have put me on barbiturates. I don't know. And so it's not
Relatability of Iconic Struggles
01:03:00
Speaker
it's not so far removed is what you're saying people get a big sensationalized unique Marilyn Monroe thing and it's just simply not and so that i hate that she's like the face of barbiturates because everyone was taking them um and so i think when you read that book you realize just how
01:03:19
Speaker
much you felt like this woman so many times, men and women alike, the things that you read in this, you're just like, God, same. And I think that it's one of the most, you know, when you're telling a story in art and you're a director and you're writing a film, you're David Lynch, whatever, you're trying to find the universal and the particular,
01:03:45
Speaker
There's no better option story than that. When you read that book especially, the universal and the particular in that is like the perfect ratio of everyone will watch this and relate to this and feel something.
01:03:59
Speaker
And that's the goal, right? And so I think it makes perfect sense. And so obviously, I can see how the female characters developed. But the thing is that what he did
01:04:17
Speaker
And I think maybe like lacking the context, it just becomes like the stamsel story and is it anti-feminist? But what happened is he took the person that he was maybe amused of his and he let them win. And I think that was so exciting to him, you know, maybe not in Twin Peaks, but in some of his films, you know, the girl in trouble got got to, you know, get herself out.
01:04:44
Speaker
And I think that's so cool because I think that that's what he wanted. That's what he wished. We all wished, right? Like I went like recently with Matthew Perry dying. I think everyone was so shocked and moved by that, whether they were big friends, fans or not, most people kind of are. I think we all knew he had these addictions.
01:05:10
Speaker
but he was getting better and he was helping people and he had this book and he was doing things to help people not have addictions and no one was really expecting him to go at that point we thought he was kind of on the mend and and it's just kind of like uh that thing where your culture is like rooting for this person and when he died we were like no wait no no that's wrong like yeah like that wasn't supposed to happen that way he said yeah
01:05:36
Speaker
I think from my fifth grade class of studying icons, one of the main components of being an icon is people have to root for you. Can they root for you if there's nothing that you have opposition in in your life with? If it all came easy,
01:06:04
Speaker
there's not much to root for because you're okay and so there's this there's this like subtle balance of like you know this person came from shit and then they overcame it but like
01:06:19
Speaker
they don't know that life so that they might like self-destruct and you're like you're rooting for them and that's like a very common recipe of like I think the studio system used to like very purposefully tell the stories that way of
01:06:35
Speaker
that didn't even exist. I think I read once that there was this girl who came from Texas and they changed it to like a farm and a nice house in Texas. She changed it to a farm in Alabama, didn't have any money, and now she lives in a penthouse, blah, blah, blah.
01:06:55
Speaker
I think it was like the story was that she lived in like a nice house in Texas and then she got a decent house in LA like it wasn't a big story, but they totally changed the narrative that were rooting for her and We were rooting for her and she made it and so Not only when you're making an icon as a
01:07:17
Speaker
actor, musician, whatever, when you're trying to make a film and you're a protagonist, often you want them to have these qualities because you need the audience to relate to them and root for them as well.
01:07:37
Speaker
And so I think David Lynch does that brilliantly, and that's one of the things about him. I don't know if anyone talks about it much, but he makes characters that you are just so attached to. I mean, if anything bad happened to any of the characters on Twin Peaks when it did, you were just like, absolutely not. You're rooting for every one of them.
01:08:06
Speaker
And maybe a redemption story for some of them. You don't know. Except Leo. Most everybody else except Leo. He's so good at that. He's so, so good at that. And I think he must have been obsessed with icons too because it's such an interesting subject because it's how
01:08:26
Speaker
our country became, that's our bread and butter is our entertainment industry. Well, I mean, that's what we're known for. We don't have cathedrals and and Marie Antoinette or like whatever, you know, the history of other countries. We're a newer country.
01:08:43
Speaker
And we have some embarrassing histories. And one of our good ones is that we have Hollywood. And Hollywood is a big accomplishment for our country. So growing up here, I think that's something that you kind of, when you go into it and you really, really care about being into it, you try to get to the bottom of the recipe of it, because there is one. And you can kind of see it repeated.
01:09:12
Speaker
And I think um, I think that's probably why Potentially, uh, I Seemed elincian before I was familiar in high school with twin peaks Um Was that I was also very intrigued
Admiration for Gloom’s Art
01:09:30
Speaker
by the girl that was in trouble yeah, well, uh Wow, thanks for talking about that that too and there's so many um
01:09:41
Speaker
There's so many different ways you were talking about Lynch. That's why it's fun to talk, talk about that stuff in those great texts. Cause I'm always like a bit like, Oh, I didn't quite see it. I didn't quite see that exactly. And, um, uh, really just, just really enjoy that. I wanted to, Oh, uh, are you a Swifty? Yeah.
01:10:06
Speaker
Yeah, I adore Taylor Swift. It's a large reoccurring theme.
01:10:13
Speaker
uh in in the podcast oh great okay good the concert movie um oh i i'm i'm waiting to see it i'm dying to see it i i haven't i haven't been i need to see it okay i've seen it uh i've seen it twice um i saw my i saw uh two different two different groups and
01:10:39
Speaker
It's towards three hours long. I'm not gonna tell you the details, but I will just tell you certain things the outfits are insanely beautiful like the how they're how they're designed and There's this set the set designs and things that you'll see the one for a folklore I wanted to live in or find out a way I can
01:11:04
Speaker
cut it out for recapture it and live in it. And the thing is, and one piece, I won't tell you anymore. She just sings from like on top of the roof right there and you're in that land and I'm like, so I keep going there. I keep going to the theater even though it's 1989. I mean, I've been playing folklore all day in my office up until this podcast.
01:11:26
Speaker
I, um, that's my favorite, uh, like top 10 albums, my favorite Taylor Swift album. I'm, uh, it's incredible. I, I, I just adore it. I range a lot, but, um, for me.
01:11:40
Speaker
Like my big, big thing that I really enjoy is maybe a goth, dark, doom, doom metal, big metal guy. But there's a doom in folklore that just like, it's the fog of that album. Yeah. Oh yeah. I mean,
01:12:01
Speaker
Uh, I just started re-listening to it again and I mean I always have like a new favorite when I come back I was on cardigan forever and now i'm like wait mirror ball is such a fucking good song And I I adore uh, mirror ball might have a hoodie which the with the mirror ball really lyrics I don't I don't mirror mirror ball in seven
01:12:24
Speaker
Oh my gosh. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I'll keep going. I've been listening to it so much lately. When I find a song I really like it. I guess kind of like David does his moves. I want to get to the bottom of it.
01:12:42
Speaker
I want to figure out what happened and how it happened. I just listen to it over and over and over. Each time I listen, I'm like, oh, I see why she went from that lyric to that lyrics. Oh, okay. That's really clever. I love people hate that about me because I'll just keep listening to the same song again and again like a psychopath. People are like, please put something else on. I'm like, I haven't figured it out yet.
01:13:06
Speaker
I on this on this and so I'll say that I admitted this on the show before it's not admitting because like this But I've told this on the show before My so and we probably share this you know liking it out I would say an album or a song but liking an album so much that I
01:13:27
Speaker
Uh, what is the loop of the song and how often, you know, are you playing it? But I played, I, and it was right when I got, I wasn't into the early catalog at Taylor. Like it's me, it's like 1989 and post 1989. But when I did the same thing, I listened to, um, 1989 every single day, at least once for 18 months.
01:13:49
Speaker
Oh, honestly, same. I mean, you belong with me, wasn't. So like when I was younger, that wasn't the style of music that I listened to, but I couldn't help but admit that that was a perfect song. Yeah, yeah. Just like writing wise, pop wise.
01:14:06
Speaker
They like she won with that song. That's a perfect song So even though i'd be listening to like the shins and you know, whatever I was listening to back in that era You belong with me would sneak in and then just be like Yelling at my car and all of my like, you know indie friends were like, what are you doing? And I was like, it's a good song you guys And I write songs I care and but then when 89 1989 came around I was just like, okay honestly
01:14:36
Speaker
I don't care what anyone says I'm you can all and then by now I think culture has just accepted that she's just.
01:14:45
Speaker
I don't know why. There was a lot of resistance. A long time. People were like, no. And that must have been so hard, that she kept having to prove herself, even though she was just writing this brilliant music for us. I agree. But eventually, we all just kind of put our guns down, and we were like, listen, you're an incredible songwriter. I think now the average person on the street, if you ask if they like Taylor Swift, they're like, yeah, yeah.
01:15:15
Speaker
She's great. She's really great. No, I'm starting to interrupt. Go ahead. No, no. I just was going to say, I think now people are over it. And I'm glad because she's a gift.
01:15:29
Speaker
Yeah, I find it, I've invited Taylor five different times, and you know, it's perseverance, it's overtime, but no, I really enjoyed the concert film and really enjoyed that music.
Purpose of Creating Art
01:15:49
Speaker
What I wanted to ask you, gloom was about just about, you know, you're an artist in a in a creator and in a performer.
01:16:06
Speaker
What I wanted to ask is what do you think, what are you trying to do when you're making art? What is art? Are you trying to achieve a certain end in creating art or is it more the process and just how you breathe? It never ends, but I think that without it, we would be so alone because I think
01:16:34
Speaker
Taylor Swift, for instance, there are certain feelings that I'll have and I'm just like, oh my gosh, you need to get over that and then she'll have a whole anthem about it. I'm like, okay, well, it seems like a fair feeling. I think that when you're making art, I guess other than bottling a feeling is a really cheesy way to say it.
01:17:01
Speaker
also the back to the universal in the particular you're trying to tell your story and um you're you're telling it in a way that i personally for me i just like i hope that
01:17:17
Speaker
And I know that with the way that human nature is, that likely someone else has felt the same. And there's a catharsis to releasing it myself, kind of like I've let that once I've penned it down and I've recorded it and I've sang it a bunch of times on tour, kind of like I've let it go and set it free. And then also,
01:17:42
Speaker
what I'll find to know that I accomplished the task is then I'm selling, I buy the merch booth and I have people coming in and they, one after one, I've been through that and I've never had a song that said it like that or addressed it like that. I think at the end of the day, that's when you realize that's why I did it.
01:18:07
Speaker
like and you don't know till you get that feeling and you see that understanding in that person's eyes that like they you can see that they they want to like come let you know that they feel us alone and to me that's probably the most motivating and inspiring thing because I spent so much of my childhood Marilyn Monroe's if you read about hers I spent so much of my childhood alone I was homeschooled um
01:18:35
Speaker
I did child acting, but that isn't not very much socializing. I would go on AOL Instant Messenger on recess breaks and chat with people I kind of knew from theater shows I was in. I had pets. I had a lot of pets because I was very lonely.
01:18:55
Speaker
And then my mom was very complicated and so complicated that I could not ask of her anything if I was not feeling whole, where you're like, keep me company or something like that. And then my dad, he was there for me quite a lot, but he also had to
01:19:20
Speaker
you know, he was very concerned about my mom. So I was, I was often, you know, kind of just, you know, self soothing or like just playing with toys and by myself in my room. And then, you know, that turns into junior high, it turns into high school and you've developed kind of a pattern and you're not sure why you keep running into this feeling of loneliness and you watch The Wizard of Oz and you're like, oh, I get what they were saying there with the like,
01:19:47
Speaker
and you have an existential crisis in your late teens about like some kids movie from 1938 and Dorothy and there's just this there's this universal thing and no matter like Taylor Swift is a great example that you brought her up because she's the most famous one of the she's now you know one of the most famous people on this planet and I can still tell in her interviews and whatnot
Art as a Unifying Force
01:20:14
Speaker
I noticed when she was younger, she had this and everyone says, oh, she'll grow out of it. I always tell people, no, you don't grow out of that. When it hits at a specific age, you're going to feel that way. That's with Matthew Perry, but she has this imposter syndrome. She feels like she's not a cool kid. She definitely feels lonely.
01:20:38
Speaker
You can still see it in an interview. She's now what? She's been proclaimed a billionaire. This tour was massively successful. She knows she fucking killed it. And then when you still talk to her, you can still see that you can't take that out of a person. And some people just see other artists, and they seem really full of themselves. And I would argue that they likely were probably
01:21:06
Speaker
their mom's favorite child and pretty full of themselves as a kid too. They make very interesting catchy songs but they don't make the art that you're talking about.
01:21:22
Speaker
I just think we're all trying to connect and we're all trying to feel part of something and And so often we don't and so especially when we have unique problems and so when you find something that Says something that you feel that you've never heard said out loud before other than in your own head it's a miracle and
01:21:50
Speaker
it, you maybe like it, you're like, I might be fixed, at least for the day, you know, and that's powerful, because I don't know any Benzo or SSRI that can do that. And so I think
01:22:10
Speaker
I think, you know, I parted ways with my old label and I don't love how things went, but they did have a saying that was music is medicine. And I think that's absolutely true. And I think film is the same way.
01:22:31
Speaker
And I think, well, I don't know what we would do without it. Everyone's created art since before we had movies and before we had recordings, people needed to paint, they needed to write books, they needed to, we still write books, but we still paint. But before we had these mediums,
01:22:50
Speaker
audio and film. I mean, it's just been the human way of coping with, I mean, being a human is kind of weird and fucked up and we're not sure why we're doing it. And like, we got dropped here and we're like, whoa,
01:23:11
Speaker
you know, those memes I didn't ask to be born, you're like, I, when things happen, you're like, I just, can I, is there an exit? There was nothing, now there's something and here it all is in front of me. Exactly. Yeah. And so you just start trying to figure out how to navigate your way through life.
Conclusion and Future Connections
01:23:32
Speaker
And sometimes you don't know how to fucking navigate something and you just, you make something about it and you move on and then,
01:23:42
Speaker
Sometimes it's just for you and sometimes it benefits a whole fucking bunch of people. I don't think one is less or more valid, but I think it's really exciting when you can make people feel less alone because it's so weird. We're all here, but we're all so separate.
01:24:03
Speaker
Well, I really, you know, and on the art bit too, just like in doing the show, like in the, you know, I'm really excited to talk to you, like your interest in, but like, I just really adore your music. And I just like, it's a kind of a weird, because I don't know you, we haven't met, but like, just,
01:24:26
Speaker
I liked everything you were attempting. I liked it all. And then on the music for me, I have a...
01:24:34
Speaker
Like I'm a sucker for female song, but also this spacey moodiness and wandering and mystery. It's just like a whole mood and tone. And so I really love that. And also your photos and your visuals that are just striking and just like,
01:24:59
Speaker
It's cool. It's exciting to be around and it's exciting to be able to talk to you and then you add the Lynch stuff in and then all the other Marilyn Monroe. So I just wanted to tell you, I find it such a great thing to be able to connect with your creative mind. And one other point too is,
01:25:27
Speaker
There's something that maybe was you telling me about, you know, like of asking all those questions and asking the additional things and the fact that I can see that you're hustling and I just root for you because I'm like, fucking you win, you know, seriously. And that's that. It's just you're the artist and, you know, hit it, go after it. And so I'm a fan. Thank you. That means a lot. Um,
01:25:57
Speaker
Where do listeners find those things we've been talking about? Your things, your art and music and visual art is on any, generally any listening platform, iTunes, Spotify, et cetera. Um, my albums are the internet and main character.
01:26:19
Speaker
And I have a double sided single, Rosslyn and Goddess. That is based on what we were talking about tonight. And I will be releasing more at the top of the year. So you can find my music videos on the Italians Do It Better YouTube channel and you'll find my new music videos on the Gloom channel next year.
01:26:45
Speaker
so exciting, so exciting to hear about. I have a report that's useful and I had sent you a quick message. I was going around in Portland, Oregon and some folks in the car with me was playing new music and they're all just
01:27:07
Speaker
Just suckers for it and they were listening and we were blasted and we were going by the Portland erotic ball That's at the McMinnum in squares like the longest running. Oh, yeah. Yeah erotic erotic ball there and I was like man It's like I just made you like three fans and we're freaking rolling down Portland past the erotic boss And I think gloom would like this. She doesn't even know I'm doing this right now I love that
01:27:32
Speaker
It's like we got to roll in the car with the hood open sometime.
01:27:42
Speaker
I'm glad to hear it. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, so it's great to hear where we can find the to find your stuff. You know, it's just out of courtesy here. We've been talking for a while out of courtesy. We get to end the conversation and hopefully talk again. I want to be respectful, although it's a bit later when we record and from what I hear in L.A., you all go forever. So I don't know. Yeah.
01:28:11
Speaker
Oh, yeah. No, this is normal. Oh. Only because I just thought of it. And one thing popped into my head before I leave you. Do you obsess about the Manson family? Absolutely. Oh, gosh. OK. Yeah. Yeah, I do as well. I've done.
01:28:37
Speaker
I've done a photo art piece that's just creepy. And what's creepy about it is the photos of the Manson gals. But what's so cool about it and what I loved it is I don't believe I made this weird ass thing. I was so excited by seeing it. I could see why I'm like this weird
01:29:00
Speaker
fantasy, fetishization, evil, Manson women. Like I could see that, but after the 20 photos in the red frame after I done, I'm like, I don't do art like this. That's so funny. Oh my gosh. I, yeah, no, I, I, I was so excited when I was watching Once Upon a Time in Hollywood when they got to that part and I was like, Oh my God.
01:29:28
Speaker
You don't see it in like a film like that much. You're like, oh, I wasn't expecting, I guess I don't know why I wasn't expecting it, but I was just like, oh, cool.
01:29:36
Speaker
All right. All right. Well, here, here listeners, because they're going to respect, uh, gloom's time. Uh, I'm going to ask them, uh, would you, we should do either an insta live or some sort of, uh, idea of discussing just a man's and family stuff for our own enjoyment and any sort of ancillary enjoyment that the listeners may, uh, get from it. I think you and I, uh, would, would, would be great to, uh,
01:30:02
Speaker
revisit the larger question of the most bizarre story in the killer universe. Oh, absolutely, yeah. I have my Sharon Tate book over there. Yeah, no, I'm ready. All right, one final serial killer thing, and I'm really gonna let you go. When I lived in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, I lived six blocks from Dahmer's apartments.
01:30:30
Speaker
Oh my God. Creepy, creepy, creepy, creepy town area. I have a photo. I did a study. One of the few art little courses I did, it was called the Spirit of Place. And it was basically, here's how I'll sum it up. What are the ghosts of where you are?
01:30:50
Speaker
Like, what are the ghosts like in creating the art? And what I had was, I went to North Milwaukee where the Dahmer, just space, that apartment building had been destroyed. But what you have is just an open industrial field and Milwaukee being a cold industrial city was November and it's black and white. And I was so fascinated because the absence
01:31:17
Speaker
of the building and the starkness. And I actually like, I just worked with that photo because I'm like, I don't know, it's just so enthralling. So yeah, that was just five blocks away from when I went to school studying philosophy at Market University. Yeah, right down the street. So how did I get you, get us onto serial killers? Well, I'm not sure.
01:31:45
Speaker
I don't know, but we could go on ghosts, too. So yeah, it's a form. Drop on ghosts quite a bit. OK, I am going to let you enjoy the rest of your evening. And I hope this has been enjoyable. I want to tell you, it's like a really deep life pleasure to meet you and to chat with you. Thank you so much for having me.
01:34:19
Speaker
I can
01:35:17
Speaker
Like a noise
01:36:00
Speaker
This is something rather than nothing.
01:36:25
Speaker
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01:36:52
Speaker
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