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139. Empaths, Narcissists and Human Design with Raven Scott
107 Plays1 year ago
How can we incorporate our Human Design blueprints into our lives as a whole?
This week, we are chatting with Raven Scott, Author of Empath and the Narcissist, Human Design Expert, and Podcast Host & Coach at Get More Listeners Academy. She discusses her healing journey and lessons learned after leaving an abusive relationship, and uses the practice of Human Design to help others on their own healing path.
She shares the basics of Human Design and how we can incorporate different aspects of our charts into finding more purpose in life, maximizing our energy, and discovering our inner authority.
If you enjoy this episode, please feel free to rate and review the podcast on whatever app you’re listening on, and share with a friend!
CONNECT WITH RAVEN
Website: https://ravenscott.show/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ravenscottshow
CONNECT WITH THE SHOW
Website: WellnessAndWanderlust.net
Instagram: www.instagram.com/wellnessandwanderlustblog
Facebook: www.facebook.com/wellnessandwanderlustblog
Twitter: www.twitter.com/moses_says
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Transcript
Introduction to Wellness and Wanderlust
00:00:03
Speaker
Welcome to the wellness and wanderlust podcast. We're here to demystify wellness and help you add a little adventure to your life. Tune in for a new episode every week, where we'll hear from incredible guests and talk about ways to be happier and healthier in our new normal. I'm your host, Valerie Moses. Let's get started.
00:00:23
Speaker
Hi everyone. This is episode 139 of the wellness and wanderlust podcast, and I'm thrilled to have you here with me today. If you're new here, welcome. I'm really glad that you found the show. If you've been tuning in for a long time, I'm very happy to have you back. This is an incredible community and I am truly, truly grateful to be able to share such fabulous guests with you all and to have these amazing conversations from
Raven Scott's Healing Journey and Human Design
00:00:47
Speaker
week to week. So this week we are chatting with Raven Scott, author of empath and the narcissist.
00:00:52
Speaker
human design expert and podcast host and coach at Get More Listeners Academy. She shares her healing journey and lessons learned after leaving an abusive relationship and uses the practice of human design to help others on their own healing path. She shares the basics of human design and how we can incorporate different aspects of our charts into finding more purpose in our lives, maximizing our energy and discovering our inner authority. I know you're gonna really love this one and there were a lot of great takeaways. So without further ado, let's hear from Raven Scott.
00:01:22
Speaker
Raven, thank you so much for joining us at Wellness & Wonderlust. Thank you for having me. Well, I'm so excited to have you on. We're getting into a topic that we've never delved into before on this show, but something I've been really excited to learn more about.
Using Human Design for Empath Recovery
00:01:37
Speaker
So I would love for you first to just introduce yourself to our listeners, tell them a little bit about you. Yes. So I am a spiritual mentor, certified meditation teacher and human design expert. And I coach empaths, healing from narcissistic abuse and maybe narcissism in our society to eliminate the conditioning from their narrative about themselves, from their minds and from their emotional bodies by understanding their unique human design blueprint.
00:02:07
Speaker
and how unique and special they are. And really, they're here for a special reason and the world or that relationship has dampened their light. So my main mission is to give them hope and clarity. That is such a gift you give because as someone who is an empath has definitely dated some narcissists. I know the impact that that has on us and how challenging it is to get out of. And again, I think
00:02:33
Speaker
really giving us hope and giving us that clarity. It really goes such a long way. So it has to be such a rewarding thing to get to do. It really is. And I feel like it helps in elevating the conversation about narcissism. I think we all can safely say we know what it is based off of social media and the trend last year.
Narcissism in Leadership and Awareness
00:02:54
Speaker
As the awake, the narc awareness, we've got, you know, narc free, living narc free. We've got all these new hashtags like that would have never come up. It's like the tiniest blip in the DSM in the psychologist manual. They spend like maybe 15 minutes on it and they kind of make a joke about it. And then they move on to all the other quote unquote more important mental or social disabilities, but it's a real problem. It's a real epidemic of just.
00:03:21
Speaker
highly selfish egoic people in our lives and ruling the world sometimes. Yeah. I remember a few years ago reading, I think it was John Ronson's book, The Psychopath Test, and about how a lot of the characteristics of narcissism,
00:03:38
Speaker
play into our CEOs, our political leaders, and so many of these people that hold so much power. And I remember reading a few days ago that gaslighting or gaslight was the word of the year from one of the dictionary websites. So it's wild to see. I think it's gratifying in some ways to see it finally come to light. You feel less alone knowing that others are going through it and that they're bringing this to more of the mainstream.
00:04:05
Speaker
Yeah, definitely. I think there's more that needs to be done. So I love what you do with this. And I would really love to know how you got into this kind of work.
Escaping an Abusive Relationship
00:04:13
Speaker
Yeah, well, personal experience is I personally was in an abusive relationship from a narcissist didn't know what that was did had no idea. I just knew that it was a really toxic scenario that I needed to leave and
00:04:28
Speaker
not because of the words and the emotional abuse that I endured, but at the end, he was not able to control me. And so just this one instance, that was like my hard line. He hit me once and I was like, oh, done, I'm out. I was like, what happened to all the years of the verbal abuse and emotional highs and lows? But again, that's what took for me to leave. And I was in it, I tried to make it work, I tried to fix him, I tried
00:04:52
Speaker
everything and it just wasn't meant to be fixed. You know, I can't, you can't fix someone else. You could only control yourself. And I had to get out of that scenario. And it was a really dark space that I was in in that relationship because I felt like I always had to please him, always chasing after him. Like his love meant that I was worthy. I truly believed the lies that he fed to me that no one else would love me other than him.
00:05:21
Speaker
And it was really scary to jump out and to leave and actually tried seven different times before. And I would always kind of suck myself back in and be like, Oh, like overreacted. Like I was so silly. I can't believe that I laughed over such a silly argument. And he would always say, yeah, you know, come back. All you need to do is this and it'll be all better.
Empowering the Next Generation
00:05:42
Speaker
He would never take responsibility. He would just kind of soothe me and be like, Oh, you just have to fix this. It was just this problem. It was just that problem.
00:05:50
Speaker
And so I would, and I obviously never got fixed because relationships are a two way street and I have two daughters and that's actually really how I got into this work. It was like, I am building something just for them. If any, if it helps anyone else outside of my family, amazing, but this is my legacy.
00:06:09
Speaker
that I wanna leave for them so they have like the books, they have the information, they can absorb it and I can grow and become more aware and intelligent about it so that I can coach them better rather than doing like what a lack for better words what my mom did is like begging me not to go. It's like, well, that doesn't really help, like why? Like give me more, more information, more education. What's the problem with this person?
00:06:36
Speaker
rather than just like, oh, it's just against what the Bible says. Like that's not good enough for me. I'm too smart. Like you gotta give me more. So I forget if I'm that smart that my kids are too. So it's just been a journey of learning and growing for them to give them the tools. Cause I mean, no one should experience this type of abuse and put up with it.
00:06:56
Speaker
definitely don't want my children to and everyone that listens to my podcast that has gained so much information and hope they've also gleaned that too. It's like, Oh, yeah, I don't have to put up with
Recognizing and Healing Emotional Abuse
00:07:07
Speaker
this anymore. And that's the main goal. I think again, that's so inspiring that you do this work. And I know for me, my relationship never became physical. But at some point, I realized it's going to because the anger is escalating. And
00:07:22
Speaker
It's amazing how so often we do kind of belittle what's happening or, you know, invalidate sometimes what's happening to us because we think, well, others have it worse. It's, you know, maybe more of a gray area, at least to us at the time.
00:07:39
Speaker
And we, again, we think that if it's not physical, that it's not taking that toll, but it certainly is and it can. And I think providing these tools and these resources, it gives people the validation and the courage when they understand, no, this isn't okay. And I don't deserve to be treated this way.
00:07:58
Speaker
Yeah, and so much of it too is like deconditioning what's normal, right? This emotional abuse is so normalized, like from authoritarian type parenting or school systems, you know, like all the horror stories that we would never put our children through, like we may have endured and thought, well, that was kind of normal. Like that's just what happened.
00:08:18
Speaker
But in essence, it's not. Like that was just a really toxic way to condition someone or to teach someone how to be. And so then you get into these relationships romantically, thinking that, oh, love is conditional. Like this is how love is, because you're used to it maybe from childhood. And then something will always happen, right? There will always be an awakening moment, either physical or spiritual.
00:08:42
Speaker
where you just go, this isn't right. This isn't the way I want to spend the rest of my life. Like, what am I doing? And mine came with my Saturn return. Mother Saturn came around and said, hey, what you doing here? Why are you still here?
00:08:57
Speaker
Wake up. I think that's really powerful though and again that like I don't know about you but since I've gone through this now watching back and I think you know many years of therapy and all of the soul searching when I watch a movie or TV show and I see the relationships now these very at the time that we thought were very romantic relationships very idealized I'm like oh my god he's love bombing her this isn't healthy and but it's so normalized even by pop culture
00:09:26
Speaker
Totally, absolutely. And then once you know and you're educated on what narcissism is, you see it everywhere. You see it in every movie. Obviously, every villain has to be a narcissist. Otherwise, they wouldn't really be a villain, right? Because it has to have that selfish motivation. Otherwise, there would be collaboration and harmony. And that's not good drama. That's not good TV or movie.
00:09:47
Speaker
Like oh my gosh this villain is a total narcissist and then you go oh yeah duh like that's why but when you're young that's just like like you said that's just normal like and those relationships are idealized and
00:10:02
Speaker
You see these things like boundaries being pushed lately, there's subtle messages to warn you about it. But it's not big enough of an awareness movement to really be like, you just witnessed something really bad. You know, it's like, Oh, that's just what happens when you're in a teenager, right? Or whatever the movie may be that you're watching.
Spiritual Awakening through Diverse Practices
00:10:21
Speaker
So for you, you went through the Saturn return. And I think it was a moment of awakening for you as well. Talk to me about what that healing journey overall looked like for you and some of
00:10:32
Speaker
the either realizations you had or the practices, what came up for you in that in that time? Yeah, I think the real thing that came up for me was
00:10:41
Speaker
visibly seeing the darkness. We had an argument one night and I went to my bedroom and I the lights were on and like I just saw this thick cloud in the room and then I closed my eyes I saw myself getting pulled down into this deep vortex and I was like I have to get out of here like that was the final straw of almost seeing the dark energy which was part of my spiritual awakening like wake up and then when I left and I
00:11:05
Speaker
an apartment there was this dark shadow figure that I woke up in the middle of the night and was like staring at me in the corner and I was like this can't be real like this is crazy like now it's chasing me or something I just was like oh my gosh like so freaked out scared and it just became this learning that I was raised Christian so there was more than just Jesus heaven and hell and God like
00:11:28
Speaker
There are real energies that play all the time around us. And so I delved into this one TV show called The Dead Files. I watched every single episode like ever. And I think there's seven seasons over and over. I just kept studying about spirits. And then I started learning more about Buddhism and multiple lives and Hinduism and just diving into meditation and spiritual practices.
00:11:54
Speaker
versus a religion and really connecting and realizing that we all have a soul that's connected to our higher self. And that's why I got certified in meditation because I really felt like it calmed me because I did have a lot of CPTSD. So it calms.
00:12:09
Speaker
my nerves and the stress from that. And it allowed me to connect and like really receive clear guidance. Like, okay, what's the next step here? Or what's the truth here as I was unraveling this giant mess of lies that the narcissist put into my head, as well as the conditioning and my upbringing and religion and just like everything on the world. I was trying to unravel all of it, but you kind of get to the point where you're like, well, not every mystery can be solved, but
00:12:36
Speaker
I feel pretty pretty solid that I've unraveled most of it. That's awesome. And it is so true that so many of the people that I talked to when we're going through rough time, whether it's relationship, whether it's other life challenges, they've often said that and they come from different religious backgrounds, different spiritual backgrounds.
00:12:55
Speaker
that their connection to whatever source they believe in, their connection to that higher self, all of that is really what gets them through those times and helps them to really get an alignment and figure out what's going to work for them. And I think that finding that is
00:13:13
Speaker
so powerful. I love that you were able to study from so many different modalities and spiritual walks of life, because again, there's so much value in these different perspectives. And I think that I don't necessarily believe that one religion has it all 100% right or wrong. And you can really take a lot from that and from just these spiritual practices in general. Yeah. I mean, I think even from the ancient times,
00:13:41
Speaker
way back when, in the dawn of time, since men could probably build fire and think about it and not worry about surviving, they looked at the stars and they were already just trying to contemplate like, how is this all fit together? This is too amazing. And so every generation, every culture, every civilization has had their version of the divine somehow, the connection, the source. And yeah, I believe that too, that there's loads of variations and they're probably not all accurate. There's a little
00:14:09
Speaker
little bit here, a little bit there, maybe, maybe it'll all come together to make sense one day and the other after life.
00:14:16
Speaker
I don't think we necessarily have to understand all of it too and I think that's what's so beautiful and I love that you again mix so many different modalities I think into the work that you do and into your own journey. I think really integrating that is so eye-opening for us and can teach us so
Understanding Human Design
00:14:33
Speaker
much. Now I would love to know you connected with human design and you've really connected human design and that modality
00:14:40
Speaker
to the work that you're doing with those relationships. I'd love to know how you got into that. But before that, for our listeners that are not familiar with human design, since we haven't talked about it on the show, can you give us a little bit of a description of what it is and how it works for us?
00:14:57
Speaker
Yeah, so I loved getting to know myself through my human design chart, because what it is, is it's a combination of astrology, the I Ching, the Kabbalah, so you've got the chakra systems, you've got the
00:15:13
Speaker
Chinese astrology, like the I Ching, as well as the Palladian astrology mixed in with, um, the science of neutrinos. So it's just talking about how energy actually works through science. So I love like my Virgo Sun loves this whole, like logical science part. And then it's got all of the ancient, like esoteric parts to it. And it all makes sense to give you this.
00:15:38
Speaker
energetic roadmap of how your energy works in relationship with other people and how you think and how you feel down to
00:15:47
Speaker
the energy you have for work, how you speak, what you speak about, like your adrenals, and it all links up also to different body parts. Like I said, like your thyroid or your sacral is connected to like your ovaries or testes, your head is, you know, your pituitary gland. I mean, it's so amazing and fascinating. And yeah, it just gives you
00:16:10
Speaker
I would say like the real guide versus what everyone else around you is conditioning you to be. Like your real guide of how you can be and flow with the energy of the universe. You know, you can manifest a career through it by the information that you gather. You can, like I said, understand relationship dynamics. We just finished a whole series on the podcast, Empath and the Narcissist podcast.
00:16:37
Speaker
about the toxic interactions of each center. And we went through all of them because we all go through life in a low vibration through the ego, we call it, or maybe like a medium state where we're kind of aware, but we're still struggling with our ego. And then the highest vibration of the most, I guess, as non egoic as we can ease. So if you're in low vibration and two of these two centers meet, things happen, right? Energies happen.
00:17:05
Speaker
things collide and they become toxic. So it's really like a fun thing to look at in your own human design blueprint and go, Oh, okay. I know I have, let's say for example, an open will center. That means that I'm easily sucked into other people's agendas. So once you know it and you're aware, you can then
00:17:27
Speaker
go into different scenarios with caution using your, we can talk about it, your inner authority. And which is essentially the way you listen to your intuition and you're like, okay, let me pause. Like I'm not going to jump on the bag bandwagon right away. Cause I know that I tend to do that. So let me protect my energy. Let me protect my resources and let's get a plan together. And like, this is where maybe the catchy phrase word boundaries comes in. Like, you know exactly where.
00:17:56
Speaker
to put your boundary up and how based on your energetic blueprint. So it's pretty fascinating. That is so cool. And I don't think we talked about this, but I'm actually Virgo Sun as well. So I'm very fascinated by the logical side of it too. And I know that you have my chart. And so I definitely want to ask you a little bit about that. And for those who aren't familiar, I know that there are different human design types and I know that there's a whole lot to the chart, but can you walk us through a little bit about, about those types, just so that
00:18:25
Speaker
People are aware kind of what that looks like. We'll start with
Exploring the Five Human Design Types
00:18:29
Speaker
the basics. I know there's so much There's so much and so if you do want to get like you don't know your chart and you want to get your free chart Red you can definitely visit my website Raven Scott show fill out the form and I'll get you your chart within 24 hours and kind of give you an overview and then we can always hop on a call and I can
00:18:47
Speaker
I'll talk to you more about it. So the types, there are five different types. So I'll give you the percentages also of like the majority of people. So we have 37% of our population are generators. They are the doers of the world, the busy bees, very linear thinkers. Like essentially industrial age was made for them, like the factory workers.
00:19:11
Speaker
don't have to be one but you know like they fit well in an assembly line and then you have them manifesting generators those are 33% of the population they also have that sacral that like working energy motor to have consistent energy to do things but they also have a nice little element of experimentation they love their their ping pong all over the place them
00:19:35
Speaker
fabulous multitaskers, they do not like to go from A to Z, like an assembly line, they like to go like H, Z, A, B, oh wait, shoot, I have to go back to A, you know, it's like they're experimenters and it's beautiful, but it can be frustrating for generators who have these types in their life, or this is where like the toxic interactions get into play when we think everyone is just like us.
00:19:57
Speaker
And then you have the projectors. Projectors are 20% of the population. We're getting into the, what we call the non-sacral being. So you have the amplifying, you amplify doing and work energy. And you can work in short spurts, but you actually are here to guide. You are here to tell us how to work efficiently. You are here to work smarter, not harder. You're a very observant beings, the projectors.
00:20:25
Speaker
Then you have 9% of the population who are manifestors. Manifestors also are not defined as sacred beings. They are not here to work a lot. They work in short spurts because they're amplifying energy. They are the only
00:20:41
Speaker
you know the slogan Nike says just do it the only just do it type of beings where they they have to inform us because their energy is scary because it's intense it's kind of closed off and they just like have an idea and they do it but if they just do it without telling us then we'll all of us will stop them like wait wait what are you doing no no that's too intense that's too much so their strategy is to inform
00:21:05
Speaker
Now, the last one is called the reflector. There's like 1% of the population are reflectors. Every single center in the chart is white. They are literally a lunar body. They are here to tell us what is the right environment. Like back in the day before modern civilization, they would be the person traveling with a clan saying, this is a good spot to place camp. This feels good.
00:21:32
Speaker
Everything is all about the environment because they're just a reflection of the energies in the area that they're in. So it's really fascinating and very cool. So those are the five types in the human design chart.
00:21:46
Speaker
That is so cool. And I've always wanted to know more about them. And I've known that I'm a projector. I had, I looked at, you know, free chart a long time ago, but hadn't really dove into it. And just hearing this, it's so funny how, how all these modalities come together in a leadership class of all places. We had an assessment that we did, and it was talking about learned behaviors and what actually brings us joy and that we have energy for it and what we don't.
00:22:12
Speaker
And one of my learned behaviors that I don't love doing, but I will do it if I have to, was the work ethic. I really like to put work into the things that are meaningful, but I don't think we need to be spending all of the time working on the things just to work on them or creating busy work for ourselves. Although I do it, I think this society, I've certainly absorbed some of that, but... Yeah, the conditioning. Yeah, the work's smarter, not harder. It resonates so closely with me.
00:22:39
Speaker
So you've pulled my chart and I'd love to know for projectors out there listening and for myself, like what does this mean about how I can create more alignment in my own life? Yeah. So we really want to look at when you find your,
Insights into Valerie's Human Design as a Projector
00:22:54
Speaker
your type.
00:22:54
Speaker
Then you have a strategy and so the strategy is like the key to your energy flowing to be able to manifest things for you especially to be able to be recognized for your wisdom is if you just come up to someone and say I see you're doing something like this and it really doesn't like it's not efficient like you really should be doing it this way.
00:23:14
Speaker
They're going to snap back at you. They'll be like, don't tell me what to do. This is my business. Right. Cause you weren't invited. That was against your strategy. And then you get bitter towards the person that's not self fame. Cause you're like, Oh my gosh, I was just trying to help you. Like,
00:23:29
Speaker
And then you start to kind of develop tough skin and then you don't share your wisdom with more people and more people because you just feel this rejection after rejection or not listening after not listening. So because your sacral is not connected through all these little lines and channels up to your throat, you need to wait for an invitation to share your wisdom, which I know sounds really frustrating.
00:23:57
Speaker
Your aura as a projector is very probing. So all you have to do is just sit there, observe, be who you are, and people will be drawn to you to ask you, hey, what do you think about this? I'm working on this. And then that's the invitation right there for you to share with them your wisdom or your opinion or whatever is coming up.
00:24:20
Speaker
I think that's so interesting too, because when I do give feedback, sometimes I feel like it's not valued or what have you. And then I do get quiet, I'll clam up and I'm like, well, I guess no one is going to benefit from my infinite wisdom, right? And maybe that's not, you know, quite to that extent, but there you go. Yeah.
00:24:43
Speaker
Absolutely. And I think we live in a world with so much of the masculine that like we're conditioned to just, you know, speak up for everything. I think sometimes when we don't need to or like if it's not really us. So I love that. This is something that this explores.
00:24:59
Speaker
Yeah. And the pushing and the grind, like that's not you. As you've already described, you're like, I'm not doing that. That's no fun. And that's funny that I'm just saying that because my daughter says it all the time. I'm like, how do I not condition the projector out of her, but also let her know that sometimes in life we have to do unfun things. Like that's just part of life. So it's like a balance of not conditioning out that beautiful projector, but also I'm sure in your life you had to do things that weren't fun and
00:25:26
Speaker
Like you say, like you just put your nose to the grindstone, but once you're an adult and you're like, okay, well I don't have to choose that. I think the other thing that's really important is your inner authority because that's part of your souls. This is the way you can trust your intuition. A lot of people, we hear intuition, we hear trust your gut. It's like, what does that really mean?
00:25:48
Speaker
Cause for some of us, it actually can be very different and flow very different. The majority of those listening, you guys, you probably have an emotional inner authority. Valerie's inner authority is actually very rare. She has a self projected inner authority. And then the other majority has a sacral. I'm saying a lot of like language and words you probably thinking she's talking alien. What are you talking about?
00:26:13
Speaker
So just to let you know, most people walk around very emotional, like they have this emotional cycle. They set the emotion in tone in the room. And when they're not conscious about it, they're just like messing up emotions everywhere that may be that plus a lot of unconscious, unaware people that crisis narcissistic, you know, epidemic.
00:26:33
Speaker
But the inner authority is really telling you, like, this is your way to listen to your soul. Like, is this the right decision? Yes or no, would be like for the sacral inner authority. And for you, this comes because you have this self projected intuition and it comes from a channel connecting the identity center, which is that diamond below the throat to the throat center with no other, like,
00:27:00
Speaker
There's no emotional center to find. So you have to, quote unquote, see your decisions reflected through others to gain clarity. So in order to know what is correct for you, what is correct for your soul and your path, you need to have a circle of close trusted friends who you can talk to about your choices and hear yourself talking it out.
00:27:23
Speaker
and see their response to know whether something is correct for you or not, which usually most of us do, but it doesn't always pan out because that's not all of our authorities. We have to kind of be more introspective the majority of us, but you get the pleasure of talking it out and going, oh my gosh, like thank you so much for letting me talk to you. Like I completely understand now. They're like, sure, I guess so. I don't know what you just said.
00:27:50
Speaker
That really is helpful for me and that's so funny because I've never thought of it that way. But yeah, I really do like to bounce the ideas off of other people and kind of hear it reflected back. And I still ultimately a lot of the time make the decision that I knew to be the one for me, but I almost need to hear it and even hear the pros and cons from another person just repeated back in a sense.
00:28:14
Speaker
I love that. Yeah. It's like, you know, but you're like, wait, let me just clarify. And then when you hear it, you're like, boop, that's it. Like you don't have to say anything. I'm just going to talk to you. Just be a mirror. Just like listen. And then you'll gain your clarity and like, I'm good to go now. Thanks.
00:28:29
Speaker
And you, you mentioned another inner authority could be sacral. Yeah. What does that mean? So if you have the sacral, which is that square above the bottom square, it's like if you have your chart in front of you, I can pull it for you. If you have like your app out or whatever, there's two squares at the bottom. So that the one above the bottom square in between the two triangles is the sacral.
00:28:53
Speaker
So if you have that colored and you have the right triangle white then your authority is sacral authority and so that means that you have to ask like you have to listen to your gut and ask your intuition yes or no questions and then wait for that feeling if it drops
00:29:12
Speaker
And you kind of, this might take a bit of practice to allow it to make a noise, but you go, right? Like sometimes us kids, we've been trained to use our language and we don't get to hum. This particular inner authority really benefits from humming or you'll be excited and it'll kind of feel light and up and high and be like, oh, uh-huh. Like, yeah. And so that's, that's how your inner authority as a sacral works is asking yes or no question.
00:29:39
Speaker
That's so cool. I think this is just such a powerful thing to really connect to just to know where your energy is flowing from in the first place. And again, understanding kind of how, how we work through these things and how we listen to ourselves. So I love learning about these different, about these different areas.
00:29:59
Speaker
Any other areas that we should really understand when we're looking through our charts? I mean, I know that it's a very broad practice there so much, but in your opinion, especially when it comes to the relationships or making those hard decisions in our lives, what other aspects of the chart should we really be taking into account?
00:30:19
Speaker
What I find a lot is in relationships, toxic or not, just like sometimes you just feel like you're the perpetual people pleaser. There are two centers that always come that I look at when I have a consultation and it's the open wheel center, like I had mentioned to you earlier, is that tiny little triangle to the right of the diamond and then the open solar plexus on the right.
00:30:44
Speaker
which I'm looking at your chart, you both have them white. So you amplify others agendas or willpower. Maybe you have a really hard time starting a diet, let's say, or exercise routine, and you need to buddy up. Like this is the positive about these amplification of the centers. So you need to amplify someone else's will, let's say to get a running routine started.
00:31:07
Speaker
So pair up with a friend who has a defined will center or who runs every day. You don't have to pull up their chart. But if you know they already have a habit, ask to join them or have some type of accountability system with them so that you can start up that routine that you really want to get going. Because it just takes a little while to build the habit and it really takes some strong willpower.
00:31:30
Speaker
which you amplify, you don't have a consistent amount. The vulnerability of this center is, like I said, you are more prone to scams, sales, like buying things that you don't need, getting pulled into MLMs, being duped by a narcissist, kind of like riding onto their bandwagon, like they're the best. And then all of a sudden they ditch you and you're like, Oh my gosh, I was just on their bandwagon. And now they've discarded me. Like what just happened?
00:31:57
Speaker
So, if you're unaware of this, that's a big thing I look at in the charts, that's something that you really can guard and guard your energy. Because like I say, imagine your energy body as a house. When you're unaware that you have these white centers, I mean, really any of them, but these particular ones, when you have these white centers, it's like you have an open door. Your back door is wide open.
00:32:21
Speaker
And you don't even know it. And so whoever, energy vampires, toxic people, salespeople, whatever, they come into your house and they just steal your stuff. And you're like, Oh no. Like you turn around like every corner, you're like, no, that's missing now. Oh my gosh, that's gone. And like, you just continually feel like you're just falling over and over.
00:32:40
Speaker
So once you're aware, you're like, oh no, I'm closing the doors now. Like my doors are closed, they're locked, and I only let in who my inner authority says is safe. And yeah, that's just a really great way to take a look and apply how human design can help you in your relationship.
Open Centers in Human Design
00:32:58
Speaker
I think that's such a cool application and I think that a lot of people can relate to that piece too because for me, I know that being an empath for sure, I pick up so much energy around me and I've had to cut friendships, but at the same time, I want to see the best. I want to let those people in and I think sometimes we'll look past some of the things that I really shouldn't. I was joking to someone recently. I was like, yeah, I'll join the cult or whatever.
00:33:24
Speaker
I won't, but I do. It's like such an open wheel center right there just talking out. Do you want to call it? Yeah. Like they're bad, but they have some great points, right? Right. And the energy vampires, and I don't know if you watch what we do in the shadows, but there's an energy vampire on the show who's the literal, he's supposed to be a vampire. And I saw that. I'm like,
00:33:50
Speaker
Oh my God, I have these in my life. And I, you know, I feel like drain just I think you're supposed to feel drained watching him. But I thought, Oh my gosh, and there have to be a lot more people that like you leave the store or you leave work. And you're like, why am I so exhausted? Or why am I? Yeah, angry out of nowhere. And I feel like this really ties into a lot of that.
00:34:12
Speaker
Well, that is, is the unaware amplification, right? So think of it like a radio station is the colored in centers and the white centers are like your radio in your house. And if you're unaware, then the volume gets turned up really loud. If the radio stations pumping that out and it's pretty intense, you know, if it's really.
00:34:33
Speaker
depending on where they're at in that emotional cycle or whatever they're doing and you just kind of receive the wave and it just sometimes it's really loud and the volume is really high and you're like what is going on like why am i so angry and it's just you're unaware that you are amplifying and receiving all this energy from other people
00:34:56
Speaker
It makes a lot of sense. And I'm seeing just with my chart open that so much of it is white. There's very little color on that chart. You are you can be a superhero for sure. So this is what I love about the white centers is that once you gain wisdom and awareness in them, step by step in each one, you are immensely wise.
00:35:14
Speaker
in them because you know how to use the energy, what is happening, what is yours, what is not. So they are your superpower as an empath. So you have the potential to mature and grow into a super empath. Wow. That's amazing. Based on my chart and some of those white areas, just any advice in either relationship, career, life that you would recommend,
00:35:40
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, are you struggling with any one area right now in particular?
Career Advice through Human Design
00:35:47
Speaker
Career. And like bringing in abundance or like the path you're supposed to take or you're burning yourself out? Well, definitely burn out and I think the path.
00:35:57
Speaker
Yeah, so we'd want to take a look at your you have your gate one defined in your identity, which is good. So this is this is you're here to emulate whatever your passion and desire is and
00:36:14
Speaker
bring it out into the world. Your profile is one three so you really need to partner up with someone who has like a profile four to like a four six something like that any type of four to help
00:36:31
Speaker
Fours are opportunities to bring you opportunities and to work maybe as a team or even if it's an assistant for you to really help you network and connect to bring you more invitations is what I see because
00:36:46
Speaker
Your profile one three is you're an investigator and you are a perpetual experimenter, which is wonderful and so good. So you just like you like Virgo, like you said, my Virgo son, I want to know everything. Like that's it. You want to know everything about everything.
00:37:02
Speaker
And then this is beautiful because as the projector, you are that observer. You observe, you know everything, and then boom, you're like, well, this is how you do it, guys. And we're all like, oh my gosh, how did she know that? She just knows. She just knows because she knows. And so finding more opportunities to be able to find invitations to express your genius is like your path is what I see. Does that make sense?
00:37:30
Speaker
Yeah, that is so cool. And I mean, honestly, I mean, it speaks to my chart is I think mostly earth, my astrological chart. So it's really funny between the I would say the Virgo and then I've got a lot of Capricorn in my chart. Yeah, it definitely makes a lot of sense then kind of hearing how again, I think so many of these modalities can really come together in this sense. And I think a lot of people can hear this and really see that yeah, maybe they're, you know, just through human design, even though
00:38:00
Speaker
This is a very specific example kind of going through one person's chart. I think it kind of shows how deep you can get into some of the things that we can be doing differently or the people that we need to surround ourselves with.
00:38:12
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Definitely get an assistant who has a defined sacral as well. So you can delegate and be like, this is what I need. And then they can do like while you're resting, they can do everything you need for you. And this busy world where it's like, there's always so much output. Like this goes here every day. You've got to post here and it's like so much. So if that, don't worry about burning out. If you can't get an assistant to help you with that, just you do you don't feel like pressured to have to post something every day or like,
00:38:41
Speaker
you're missing out. I think that's the beauty also with tapping into the divine feminine energy where you have a time and space where you do things and then rest. Allow yourself to rest because your open root center is also probably giving you a lot of anxiety about not having enough energy to get stuff done because that is another amplifier of the adrenals and you always feel like rush and anxiety to
00:39:08
Speaker
get everything that's in your head, which is probably a lot. You also have your open head center to get all of that done, like to be successful and to stay in the rat race. Right. Yeah. This is really fascinating. This is so cool. And just any other advice I'd say in general for those listening who want to use this type of information to just in general, create their best lives, anything that they should know as they start to dive into this work.
Mastering Human Design Strategy
00:39:37
Speaker
Yeah, I think the biggest thing to master is your strategy. Figure out your type, figure out what your strategy is and figure out what that means. Like it took me a long time. I'm a generator. My strategy is to wait to respond. And I was like, what does that mean? I like, I have too much energy. I can't just sit around waiting. What do you mean? So it's like mastering. What does that mean to you personally? And for me, it was.
00:39:59
Speaker
writing a book and getting my words and thoughts out, starting a podcast, talking and sharing what I loved and being a role model because that's also part of my profile. Just sharing my wisdom, being a role model, doing the stuff, doing the healing for myself.
00:40:17
Speaker
And being, and then that brought in these magical opportunities that are so random. I would have never thought of them. Like one of them, I, I host a live meditation on a meditation app called Luvo. It's a brand new app, Luvo, but it's growing rapidly. And he was a guest on my show and he's like, Oh, you, you guide meditations. I'm like, yeah, I just love meditating. It really helps me relax. And he's like, Oh, and so he presented me with this.
00:40:46
Speaker
opportunity to respond to, right? Wait to respond. And so that's like one of my little hats, many hats that I have. So that can help give you an example of how to understand your strategy and then apply it. That's the biggest thing I think to really understand from your chart. If nothing else is don't push it. Don't try and manifest everything. Like let the universe bring it to you depending on your strategy.
00:41:10
Speaker
I love that because again, I think that this is just another great tool out there for us to understand ourselves better and really do what's going to work for us because we are all so different and there's so much variation in what our charts can say. So I think that this is really, really cool work and I love that you again, that you integrate this into
00:41:32
Speaker
the relationship piece. I'd say this can be from a human design perspective or not depending on where you want to go.
Empowerment Post-Abuse
00:41:40
Speaker
But do you have any other advice in general for those who are listening to this show either recently out of a narcissistic relationship or in the
00:41:49
Speaker
process of kind of getting out or realizing that, Hey, this is maybe not for me, just any tools, any tips for that healing journey. Yeah. It's, it's that your power is within you, even though you feel like a shell of a person right now, it is a tiny little flickering light. It's still there.
00:42:06
Speaker
And with time and self-care, the healing processes and the different somatic healing and even just spiritual practices, which could mean anything, right? Just sitting in nature, it will rekindle that fire within you and you have it. It's there for you and you can, there is hope that you can shine bright again and you can gain your power back and your narrative back over your life.
00:42:33
Speaker
It's beautiful. I think so many people need to hear that. And I really do believe that this message is going to resonate so deeply with so many tuning and myself included. So I really do appreciate that. And again, I think that just that powerful reminder, because we've gotten through challenging times every single person listening, you and I, and that you'll survive this and that you can
00:42:57
Speaker
heal and move forward. So I love the work that you're doing. I do have some rapid fire questions I'd love to ask you before we get a little more into the work you do and how listeners can connect with you. Can I ask you those rapid fires? Yeah, let's go. Fabulous. What is your favorite self care practice right now?
00:43:14
Speaker
Right now it's eating clean, like deliciously clean. So lots of veggies with like lots of garlic and sriracha. Ooh, I love that. I'm not a very spicy person, but I do love garlic on my broccoli especially. I love like roasted veggies with some garlic. That just sounds really great right now actually. Now, if you had a one word theme for this year, what would that be? A one word theme for this year. I think I have it on a discernment.
00:43:43
Speaker
Oh, I actually create every year for our Chinese new year that we celebrate here in our house is I pulled two words and this year it was discernment. It's a great word. And I have not gotten that one on the show before too. So I always love hearing how everybody's embodying these and, um, and what's coming up for everyone. So I love that. And my final rapid fire for you. What are you most looking forward to?
00:44:10
Speaker
I'm most looking forward to summer, which is just right around the bend. School's out. We're going to be going to the pool with my daughters and just spending time. Actually, I'm working on a new project. I'm going to be finishing up a book and hopefully getting it sent out to a publisher. So I'm looking forward to that process. I self-published my first book called Empath and the Narcissist. And yeah, I'm looking forward to a new adventure in the publishing world.
00:44:37
Speaker
I love that. That's so exciting. And I definitely can't wait to check that out. We'll have to share that with the audience when that does come up, have you back for a part two. It's wonderful. I don't have a title, but I think it's going to be something like divine empath. And it's every chapter will be another element of the human design chart tying into like an empowerment message.
00:44:58
Speaker
how cool that is and just to see how you're taking this topic that I think while it's really actionable, the more we dive into it, I think when you first see that chart, you're like, what am I looking at and how do I apply this to my life? And you're really taking that to a place that's accessible for people.
00:45:15
Speaker
Yeah, that is the goal. I mean, Rahu says that this is for our generation. When he downloaded it in 1984, he said, this is for the children. So essentially this is for us and then our children and then their children. So it's still so new and fresh. A lot of people don't know of it, or if they do know it, they're like, yeah, I pulled my chart one day, but I don't know what it means because it looks like alien language. As much as we can bring accessibility, that's really key, I think. Yeah, I see the numbers on it and I'm like,
00:45:44
Speaker
God, I haven't taken a math class. I don't know what's going on. So this is very helpful. And I think, yeah, you're really taking it to a place that people can understand it and make use of it. Because, you know, as we talked about, well, I think a lot of people like we hear about the spiritual and even myself, I love the spiritual side, but I like is this woo woo and then you hear it and you're like, Oh, this actually makes a ton of sense.
00:46:06
Speaker
So I love how you're making this work accessible for people.
Future Projects with Human Design Insights
00:46:10
Speaker
Now I'd love for you to share with our listeners just how they can find you a connect and a little more about your amazing show. Yeah. So they can find me at ravenscott.show. You can find the podcast there. You can get your free chart there. I have a blog. I've paused writing, but it's there.
00:46:28
Speaker
Really, it's my main focus now is pulling charts for people for free. So, you know, sign up to our empath healing community. I'll send you your chart. And then I'm also doing free 20 minute calls so that you can figure out what the heck I just told you in the email. You're like, wait, what Raven? Like, what does this mean? I'm fully accessible. I am here for you. I've had so many people hop on the call like,
00:46:52
Speaker
Oh my gosh, like I didn't know if you were going to actually be here. Like, are you a real person? Am I really? Because the, the podcast has been so amazing. People have been finding me on Apple. It's called empath and the narcissist healing with human design.
00:47:08
Speaker
And they're coming exactly for this. It's like a combination of healing from narcissism and understanding human design. And it took me quite a while actually, Valerie, to figure out like, how does this work? This doesn't make any sense. How is this in any type of relation?
00:47:25
Speaker
But the more I kept talking about it and really seeing that your chart tells you essentially that the narcissist is lying, like it's giving you your truth, then it completely makes sense because this is how you dispel all the lies from the narcissist and find your power back because that's really how
00:47:43
Speaker
they control you is through the words through your thoughts and through that narrative. So that's really been very fun to do the work. So I look forward to meeting anyone who would love to get their chart read, head on over to Ravensbat.show and you can tune into the podcast. Amazing. And again, thank you so much for the work that you're doing. Thank you for
00:48:02
Speaker
sharing a little bit about my chart as well and giving me some clarity that I needed I so appreciate it and I hope that that conversation while it was specific to my chart that it gives listeners kind of an idea of what can come up or if they have any similarities on their own that they can start to understand that and then book that call with you so they can really
00:48:24
Speaker
dive a little bit deeper and get into this work so they can make it work for themselves. So again, I want to thank you for the work you're doing and thank you for coming on the show and for sharing this wisdom with us. Yeah, thank you so much for having me and reading your chart. It's always a pleasure to help a projector in the world know that they are awesome and they don't need to be like us generators. I loved chatting with Raven and going through my own chart in more depth.
00:48:51
Speaker
I've always identified closely with the projector type, so it was really interesting to learn more about how I can create more alignment for myself based on this practice. If you haven't explored human design yet, and it was something I wasn't particularly familiar with myself, I highly suggest grabbing your chart online and connecting with Raven for your own reading. I have linked her information in the show notes, and again, I recommend checking it out and connecting with her.
00:49:14
Speaker
As always, I want to thank you all for being a part of this incredible community. And if you feel called to do so, I know I say this from week to week, but I would love it if you could leave a rating and review on your favorite podcast app to let others know what you think. Your reviews help bring more listeners to the show and help us bring you more incredible guests like Raven. If you have a topic you'd like to explore in a future episode, drop me a line at Valerie, V-A-L-E-R-I-E at wellnessandwonderlust.net.
00:49:40
Speaker
or connect with me on Instagram at wellnessandwonderlessblog. I hope you all have a great day and I can't wait for the next one.