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SNAP Cuts, Time Poverty & The Real Cost of Friendship
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Time poverty, SNAP cuts, and a $23 friendship test — this Sibling Happy Hour dives into the real cost of work, community, and compassion. Bruce and J. Aundrea unpack America’s burnout culture, the guilt around taking paid leave, and why remote work improved life for so many. They break down how SNAP benefits and corporate practices (hello, Walmart) trap people in survival mode, debate the “integrity” myth in politics, and react to a viral “Am I the Jerk?” where a host invoices friends $23 after a playoff watch party. Plus: Bad Bunny vs. Turning Point’s “Patriot” halftime, Hurricane Melissa relief, and how to set boundaries without losing your mind. If you’ve ever felt overworked, underfed, or under-appreciated by your group chat, this one’s for you.
Topics: Time poverty & burnout, paid leave and presenteeism, SNAP/food insecurity, layoffs & AI workload, capitalism vs. dignity, friendship red flags, pop-culture halftime drama, hurricane relief resources. Drop your take on the $23 invoice, share how you fight time poverty, and tell us your best boundary-setting tip. #TimePoverty #snapbenefits #WorkCulture #WorkLifeBalance #unsolicitedperspectives
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Chapters:
00:00 Get Ready: SNAP Drama, Time Poverty & Party Fails Ahead 🚨🍕⏳
00:17 Welcome to Unsolicited Perspectives 🎙️🔥
00:46 Sibling Happy Hour: Sips, Laughs & Sibling Shenanigans 🍹😂
08:01 Hurricane Beryl Hits Jamaica: A Call for Relief 🌀🙏💔
08:49 Trump Admin Cuts SNAP Benefits: 42 Million at Risk 😤🍽️💸
12:45 When Integrity Means Harm: The Trump Debate 🎭⚖️🔥
16:13 Learning to Let Go: You Can't Save Everyone 🧠💬✨
23:47 Time Poverty: When Work Steals Your Life ⏰😰💼
30:10 The Vacation Email Trap: Why We Can't Unplug 📧🏖️😩
32:42 Childcare Over Self-Care: Parents Never Rest 👶😓💔
35:04 Walmart's Trap: Employees on SNAP Spend at Walmart 🛒💰😡
40:14 Gen Z Gets It: Work Isn't Life 🙌💼🚫
41:43 Reddit Drama: The $23 Watch Party Invoice Scandal 🧾😤🍕
45:31 These Aren't Your Friends: The Brutal Truth 👥💔🚩
51:10 Petty Revenge Mode: When Freeloaders Get Cut Off 😈✂️🔥
57:08 Choose Your Friends Wisely: Final Thoughts 🤝💭🎤
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Transcript
Introduction & Episode Overview
00:00:00
Speaker
We're talking time poverty and real poverty. We gonna get into it. Let's get it.
00:00:17
Speaker
Welcome. First of all, welcome. This is Unsolicited Perspectives. I'm your host, Bruce Anthony, here to lead the conversation in important events and topics and that are shaping today's society. just Join the conversation and follow us wherever you get your audio podcasts. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for our video podcasts, YouTube exclusive content, and our YouTube membership.
00:00:36
Speaker
Rate, review, like, comment, share. Share with your friends, share it with your family, hell, even share with your enemies. On today's episode, it's the Sibling Happy Hour. I'm here with my sis, Jay Andrea.
00:00:49
Speaker
We're going to be dilly-dadding a little bit. Then we're going to talking about time poverty. And then we're going to talking about being in poverty and trying to throw a party. But that's enough of the intro. Let's get to the show.
Weather and Technical Challenges
00:01:07
Speaker
What up, sis? What up, brother? I can't call it. I can't call it. That rain in the background is deep in Georgia. Georgia, I want to go outside. all No, it's it's me right now. I'm singing, cant can you stand the rain? Because I can't stand it right now.
00:01:25
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. Because I'm going to have to clean that up in audio. Yeah. Okay. yeah Hey, something interesting happened that that brought a slight... joy to my heart.
00:01:36
Speaker
Okay.
Turning Point USA & Super Bowl Halftime Show
00:01:37
Speaker
Now, we haven't talked about on this on on our show, but I talked about on my show that Turning Point USA, that organization that Charlie Kirk started, was going to do their own Super Bowl halftime show because they were all bent out of shape. All white America has bent out of shape. Not all white America.
00:01:54
Speaker
A lot of white Americans been out of shape that Bad Bunny is going to be pouring in at the Super Bowl. Super Bowl. Right. They don't have any acts lined up yet. They tried to hint that Neil Young was going to be out there.
00:02:06
Speaker
And Neil Young has made an anti-Trump song. So yeah I don't really know how that's going work out. don't know why they thought that. So it's going to be interesting that I don't know. They can't get... a Kid Rock won't do it.
00:02:19
Speaker
Kid Rock is not a big enough act to bring in They need somebody... They're not going to find... They're not going to find a big act. They're just not going to find... They haven't been able to do that in the last 10 years.
00:02:32
Speaker
They're not going to... It's going to be D-list. Who they? Who is they been... Trumpers, Namaga, any of those people. Well, I mean, could Laura Trump, I guess. Laura Trump be singing.
00:02:43
Speaker
Okay. It's going be C, D, E, F-list, everything. well Yeah. Who did they think they were going to get?
00:02:55
Speaker
I don't know. And to try and do a counter-program to Bad Bunny, I i just don't Everybody's going to be watching Bad Bunny. Even the people who are going to be hate watching it I bet they're still going to be watching it.
00:03:09
Speaker
Over whoever they got for Turning Point. They're not going to get nobody. I guess they could get Carrie Underwood. I guess she's somebody who would... drive sales that's who they had singing at the inauguration didn't they Carrie Underwood didn't she win American Idol or something like that she's a amazing she's a major like country singer oh I've never heard of her in my entire life you have you have heard of Carrie Underwood name one song Didn't say that knew the songs.
00:03:36
Speaker
I know her. Okay. I don't know none of her songs. But there's a lot of artists out there that I don't know their songs. And then you go down their catalog and be like, I didn't know that was them.
00:03:46
Speaker
Yeah. i don't I don't know. I've never heard of this person.
Nostalgic Celebrities & Childhood Shows
00:03:51
Speaker
Pat Benatar got more than two songs. But If It Ain't Love, It's a Battlefield. And actually, I don't know the other song. Yeah.
00:04:00
Speaker
That's it. pat But no, she got some hits, though. She got hits. Yeah, right. Listen. Tears for Fears got mad hits. Mad hits. All right. um They can find somebody. It's not going to be anybody good.
00:04:14
Speaker
Oh, the people I just labeled, Pat Benatar and Tish Fierce, ain't going to be performing at Turner Point. and but Besides, oh they don't want them. I'm just talking about, in general, talking about people that do songs. You'd be like, oh, didn't know that was them that they did that.
00:04:27
Speaker
Yeah. You know who was a main? Hall & Oates. I always be like, I don't know who Hall & Oates is. And then I hear the songs and I'm like, I know exactly who Hall & Oates is.
00:04:37
Speaker
Yeah. yeah Yes. Yes. yeah Well, you know why? Because we were watching MTV, but we weren't watching MTV when MTV first came out. Right. So there's a lot of and musical acts from the 80s that we are going to know their music, but if they were standing right in front of us, we wouldn't know who the hell they were. I would pass you right on by, Pat Benatar. I'm so sorry.
00:05:01
Speaker
fifty A friend of mine is part of a fraternity. Mm-hmm. And one of the fraternity mayor members is married to... Laura Winslow from Family Matters.
00:05:16
Speaker
Okay. So they got to meet Laura Winslow from Family Matters. And I was like well like, did you bother her? He's like, no, it's not the first time I met her, I didn't bother her. I said, you better than me.
00:05:28
Speaker
Because I would have been asking a million and one questions. would have been like, yo, so first of all, when Stefan Urkel came on the scene, how did you really feel? How did you feel with Steve Irvine? This why you don't meet no celebrities. No, I've met celebrities before, and it depends on the celebrity. I've met movie stars, and I've been like, don't really care.
00:05:51
Speaker
NBA players, I've been like, I don't really care. yeah But certain people that's part of a nostalgic nature to me, I'm going pester the hell out of them. If I met Bret the Hitman Hart, I got a million and one questions to ask Bret the Hitman Hart.
00:06:06
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. No, I get it. I get it. i had I had a million and one questions for Prince. You know? But that's Prince, though. Yeah. That's understandable. I'm talking about, you know, those C, D, E-list celebrities that just have a special, like, tug on your heart. Yeah. Like Jordan from the Bernie Mac show.
00:06:28
Speaker
I'd be pestering him with so many questions. Yeah. Like, how are you so funny as a kid? Yeah. that That kid was funny. Yes. That kid was funny. He was a great foil for Bernie.
00:06:41
Speaker
Fantastic. Yeah. Perfect casting. Yeah. But, you know, I mean, sometimes you watch something that's nostalgic and you're just like, hey, I got a bunch of questions to ask you about the film. Punky Brewster is another one.
00:06:57
Speaker
she i i was talking about it the other day. Punky Brewster and Rudy were my first two crushes. Okay, sure. Rudy from the Cosby
Hurricane Melissa & SNAP Benefits Concerns
00:07:05
Speaker
show. Yeah. So the both of them, if I met them in person, I got a million and one questions and I'm also going to tell them how many times I made out to a stuffed animal that I pretended was them.
00:07:22
Speaker
Don't give people that information. Nah, I'm just gonna go ahead and be mad creepy with it. That's who I am. I'm creepy, might as well give the raw, real, and honest. Don't give people, don't don't give them that information. You gonna be hit with a restraining order.
00:07:34
Speaker
That's the next step. I didn't say I was doing it now. This was 40 years ago.
00:07:41
Speaker
i was a kid. You can't hold it against me as a kid. I can, and I will. No, they might think that was in Derry.
00:07:51
Speaker
No, no, no. now Speaking of rain, we got to send out thoughts and prayers to Jamaica. Yes. Because Hurricane Melissa is coming. I did see that it was downgraded. It was normally a cat five, but it's downgraded to a cat two.
00:08:08
Speaker
But that don't mean that there's not going to be some major suffering. Yeah. Once that hurricane hits that island. So be sure to, I don't have any right in front of me, I'm so sorry, but be sure to go ahead, cursory Google search will let you know where you can donate for relief efforts.
00:08:25
Speaker
I believe it's already left Jamaica headed towards Cuba. So yeah, there are lots of ways in which you can help. So please do so if you can.
00:08:37
Speaker
You're right. It did already leave Jamaica and is about to hit Cuba. You're right on that one. Yep, you're right. Also, ladies and gentlemen, as long as this government shutdown is happening, we are under the first administration that no matter what shutdown has ever occurred, no other administration has ever stopped SNAP from happening.
00:09:03
Speaker
No other president has ever done it. This trifling asshole has decided to do that. People are getting ready to be hit. This episode will release Friday, Halloween.
00:09:15
Speaker
This year, Halloween was on the weekend. Me and Gutter Boyz is trick-or-treating on Saturday. They're not putting out them SNAP benefits. And most people, I've been seeing certain senators coming out saying, you know, you got these young men on SNAP. They're able-bodied. They need to get out the work.
00:09:30
Speaker
No. That's not how that works. Most of the time, you're in a state where it is very difficult to get these benefits. They don't just hand them out like free candy. They really don't.
00:09:43
Speaker
They really, really don't. And it is SNAP stands for Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program. It is ah supplement.
00:09:54
Speaker
Most of the people on SNAP are working, but they can't afford to feed themselves and their families, so they need supplemental benefits. 42 million people are going to be ah rely on SNAP and are going to be impacted when the money runs out November 1st.
00:10:15
Speaker
Well, the money isn't running out because they have enough money in reserves to still issue SNAP. The administration is just going to stop. Yeah, so this is out and this is NPR. So the Trump administration has warned that the debit-like EBT cards will not be refilled and that the program will run out of money on November 1st. So that's what the Trump administration is saying, that the program is going to run out of money.
00:10:41
Speaker
Whether or not that's true... ah you can't ever it's you can't You can't ever trust. I got into... Somebody pulled me into a debate the other day, and I was just like... They asked me questions, they kept peppering me with questions, and I was like, this is a disingenuous conversation. I know it is.
00:11:00
Speaker
I know it is. But they knew the pressure. They kept pressing the button until I unleashed. yeah And they were just like, I don't... and like Like, what was the other choice?
00:11:12
Speaker
Kamala? And I was like, yeah, if you want to base it on integrity. Yeah. like I said, do you think Donald Trump has more integrity than Kamala Harris? He does what he says he's going to do.
00:11:22
Speaker
ah God forbid that he he does what he says he's going to do. That doesn't have anybody else but himself lying in his pockets. And then when I said lying in the pockets, they kind of shrugged. And I was like, oh, OK. You know what an assassin does, what they say they're going to do?
00:11:36
Speaker
um Okay. well yes why Because him, he has integrity because he does what he says he's going to do. But what he does is harmful, is violent, is malicious.
00:11:52
Speaker
yeah I was wondering, you you had to bring that one around because you just... Because it's like, what you mean? Because it took me a second because was like, what you mean? He has integrity because he says he does what he says he's going to do?
00:12:05
Speaker
Not when what he is doing is harming 42 million people. majority of the recipients... of SNAP are seniors and families with kids and people with disabilities.
00:12:18
Speaker
So explain to me how doing what you're saying you're going to do in that instance means he has integrity. Please, y'all, please, please.
00:12:30
Speaker
Yeah, well, you know, there's just I'm realizing now that people that were reasonable have now jumped on that train and they're gone. yeah Like they're like the idea that you can reason with with people. No, you can't reason with everybody. There might be some people that come back only when it starts to affect them.
00:12:53
Speaker
They'll be like, hey, wait a minute. But these people that most of these policies that they're not going to affect their older, they don't care about abortion. They don't care about health care. and They don't even really care about Social Security because they know they're going to definitely get Social Security before they pass.
00:13:08
Speaker
Right. Like all these all these issues don't really affect them. They jumped on this Trump train and they're not getting off. And they're justifying their actions by just saying, hey, I did it.
00:13:20
Speaker
Yeah. Somebody legitimately said to me. My dad raised us four people household on his salary, I said, in the sixty
00:13:33
Speaker
1960s? We are 60 years yeah away from the 60s. Yeah. And like salaries have not risen commensurate with inflation. So
00:13:50
Speaker
how long has the minimum wage been the current minimum wage? So please, like, that's just it's like it's like the boomers who are against, you know, student loan debt relief. Right. well I paid my my college tuition. It was five hundred dollars.
00:14:12
Speaker
ah Where was they going to community college? I mean, you know, like I worked at McDonald's and paid my tuition. Yeah. do You know how much school costs now?
00:14:22
Speaker
Yeah, I just feel like that you can't reach these people. No. just I just stopped trying. Yeah, it's not worth my time. I've blatantly got to the point, and I know I need to really stop doing this because I might get shot one day.
00:14:35
Speaker
i just look at people all the time, and I don't just solely give them the look of, that's a dumb face. Like, I just don't give them, hey, what you just said, that was dumb face.
00:14:46
Speaker
I literally will say to them, well, that's dumb. Yeah. Yeah. or Or I'll insult them even more by saying, come on, you're smarter than that.
00:14:55
Speaker
They get mad. I don't really give a damn. Maybe they'll start thinking. But anyway, yeah, I need to stop telling people that they're stupid. I mean, it it is a ah flaw mine. But the good thing about all of this is that I finally have started going through the comments but because I stopped for a while.
00:15:14
Speaker
started going through the comments on the YouTube page. I checked the other day. It was like 1,400, 1,500 comments that I had to go through that weren't filtered, that were not filtered.
00:15:25
Speaker
yeah yeah So that means there were more that are filtered than probably derogatory or whatever like that. yeah And most of the time, people are like, hey, look, I'm learning from the podcast. Really appreciate your perspective.
00:15:38
Speaker
So it's people out there that's like, all right, cool, we learning something. And so I learned recently that cool, they learning.
00:15:48
Speaker
For those people that don't want to learn, To hell with them. ah Yeah. I'm not going to waste the energy and the time trying to convince people that vulnerable communities, their lives matter, that food is a right, that shelter is a right, that quality education and health care, these things are rights.
00:16:13
Speaker
These are not... 42 million people...
00:16:20
Speaker
And I want to say, in fiscal year 2023, children under made up 11% of SNAP benefits. Children 5 to 17 made up 27.7%. So about 39% in 2023 of SNAP benefits children under the age of 17.
00:16:35
Speaker
made up twenty seven point seven percent so about thirty nine percent in twenty twenty three ofap benefits were children under the age of seventeen So you're you like literally taking the food out of the mouths of children.
00:16:59
Speaker
i can't reason with someone who is in support of a policy like that or is in support of actions like that. ah You can't reason with someone because they do not see those lives as valuable. Mm-hmm.
00:17:16
Speaker
So I can't, I'm not going to. I'm going to give you a Gen Z stare and keep it pushing. That Gen Z stare. I tell people nowadays when and they're trying to engage me in debate, I immediately say, oh, you're not you're not coming from a place of trying to seriously debate.
00:17:37
Speaker
Yeah, no you're not being genuine. And i also say, look, we can debate about policy, right? Like, we can debate about what's the better economic policy. Is it trickle-down economics? Is it...
00:17:54
Speaker
Lowering taxes for the middle class. Okay. Like there valid arguments that we can go back and forth and debate that. Yes. When we talk about feeding, housing, caring for the needy or the people that are in need hey and I'm for it and you're against it.
00:18:13
Speaker
This isn't a difference of opinions. Yeah. This is a difference of morality. Yeah. And that I'm not going to debate you on. No, I can't debate you on the value of human life.
00:18:29
Speaker
I can't debate you on own human decency. Like, you're you're right. This is a morality issue.
00:18:43
Speaker
It's not a political one. There are children... folks with disabilities, elderly folks in this country who rely on these benefits. There are families who rely on these benefits. There are students who rely on these benefits to eat.
00:19:07
Speaker
because they don't make enough or they're in a situation where they can't earn enough to feed themselves. And we live in one of the richest countries, if not, i don't I think we're the richest country, I don't know, in the world.
00:19:22
Speaker
yeah We have the funds to, don't tell me we don't have the money when y'all just sunk all that money into ice. so Don't tell me we don't have the money for this.
00:19:37
Speaker
Don't tell me the states don't have the money. Some states don't. Nah, that's true. Some states that are pretty poor. I'm not gonna lie about that. But don't tell me that we don't have the money to make sure that at least vulnerable people can eat.
00:19:56
Speaker
What? What are we even talking about here?
00:20:02
Speaker
No, I'm not going debate you on that because you're not even coming from a humane place. And at just as like, I won't debate a cat. I'm not going to bait someone who has lost their humanity.
00:20:18
Speaker
I talk to human beings. And that's the truth, Ruth.
Understanding Time Poverty
00:20:33
Speaker
Jay, you brought up something few months back. and And what you were talking about was I kept explaining to you that I've been staying up late at night just to play video games and just to have me time. And you said, yeah, you described it as what it was that again?
00:20:54
Speaker
ah Revenge, procrastination, bedtime, something like that. Okay, so I do that consistently. But I didn't realize that the reason why I'm doing this is because I have time poverty.
00:21:07
Speaker
o And some people listen to this and be like, what the hell is time poverty? Y'all was talking about regular poverty where you know you know you need SNAP to supplement your food.
00:21:20
Speaker
But what is time poverty? So time poverty... is is defined as a chronic imbalance between the amount of time individuals need for personal well-being, rest, and life outside of work, and the actual time they have available, particularly due to demands of jobs and workplace culture.
00:21:40
Speaker
It highlights that a growing number of American workers face this issue, often skipping or not fully using their vacation time, because of internal pressures or fear of negative consequences. And this is coming from a Newsweek article called Time Poverty's Americans Are Suffering from Time Poverty by Hugh Cameron.
00:22:00
Speaker
And I just thought it was interesting because we often talk about on the show how remote work really, for the majority of people out there, improved the quality of life.
00:22:13
Speaker
for a lot of people because they weren't traveling back and forth to work. They're not spending as much money to get lunch and do this thing and that thing. So they were saving more money. They had more time for themselves. People were getting into shape.
00:22:26
Speaker
People were buying exercise bikes. what What was ah was it was's that bike that everybody used? Peloton. Everybody had a Peloton. Peloton blew up yeah during the pandemic. People was getting in shape. You was doing one or two things.
00:22:41
Speaker
Either you was drinking in time or getting in shape or you started out drinking all the time decided, oh, I need to get in shape. Right. But you was doing something to improve the quality of your life. Yes. And people out here are are but being forced back into the office and out here suffering again.
00:22:55
Speaker
D.C. has been shut down, but that ain't stopped traffic from being crazy, which means that the government might be shut down, but people are still working their asses off. Yeah.
00:23:05
Speaker
I mean, they got to make some money. Got to. Got to make some money somehow. Yeah. But time poverty affects people by harming their mental health, their productivity and even their physical health. It contributes to burnout, increased stress and emotional fatigue, ultimately reducing employees engagement and satisfaction.
00:23:25
Speaker
So the article also notes studies linking time poverty with. worse well-being outcomes than unemployment. So people are unemployed, people who are unemployed, who was are still mentally better than people who suffer from time poverty at work.
00:23:44
Speaker
yeah So this is showing how serious of an impact it is on individuals. yeah You've worked in the corporate industry. I know I have. I don't ever take vacations. I had actually have not had a real vacation.
00:23:57
Speaker
A real vacation in nine years. Wow. And even when I was on that vacation and I was seven years seven hours behind, ah here I was still working. Working.
00:24:11
Speaker
And I don't think I have work fatigue and things of that nature. I mostly enjoy what I do. But I wish I did have more time just for me.
00:24:23
Speaker
Yeah. It is a culture or a societal issue because too often in American corporate culture, there is this overwhelming sense of guilt that for taking what is your benefit, which is is which is your paid leave.
00:24:46
Speaker
There was actually an academic article written by Davidson and Blackburn in 2023. It was called The Case for Offering Paid Leave, Benefits to the Employer, Employee, and Society. And so basically what it says is it's it's basically an argument for why employers should be offering paid leave.
00:25:08
Speaker
not only like, not only offering it, but making part ah part of the culture of that workplace for people to take that leave, right?
00:25:23
Speaker
Because not only is it critical for employee wellbeing and equity, but it's also cost effective and a a strategic HR practice, right? Because if you take your time, if you take that paid leave, the sick leave, the family leave, if you get those benefits and you actually utilize those benefits,
00:25:48
Speaker
you are less, one, you're you're less likely to leave that company, right? You're less likely to experience things like burnout and have to take some extended leave because of your mental health or well-being.
00:26:04
Speaker
is it It affects your physical health, your mental health, psychological health. It affects your spiritual health. And the U.S. really has a problem with offering paid vacation, sick leave, parental leave, things like that. We currently have no federally mandated paid vacation, sick leave, or parental leave.
00:26:30
Speaker
As opposed, like, in contrast, like, European countries guarantee 20 to 30-plus vacation days and extended parental leave for both mothers and fathers.
00:26:43
Speaker
And we're not doing it. Yeah. So based on what you were saying, time poverty among workers can mean lower productivity, higher rates of absenteeism or presenteeism.
00:26:56
Speaker
Yeah. Meaning that employees being at work but not fully functional. Yes. And increase employee turnover as well because people just get burnt out. Yeah. I'll tell you a story. I know somebody who is a um manager,
Corporate Culture & Vacation Aversion
00:27:10
Speaker
not a manager, they're a partner in a and a firm.
00:27:14
Speaker
They're a partner in a firm. And I remember I was talking to them and they were getting fed up because they were dealing with this project and people were on vacation. oh And it was ah person, I don't think they they were either young or millennial or a Gen Z. And the my the person that was a partner was like, they need to be answering their emails. I was like, well, whether they're on vacation. Why do they answer their emails?
00:27:40
Speaker
yeah I did, and that's the reason why I'm a partner. Well, maybe they don't want to make partner. right Maybe their job isn't their life. Well, they should need to be on call. I was like, no. No. They're on vacation. It's your responsibility because you know when they're about to go on vacation to make sure as a manager, all right, we got to pick up the slack here because they're going to be going on vacation.
00:28:02
Speaker
So when they come back, not only because this is time poverty, is is one of the reasons, this is one of the problems with some of the things that you were saying is that even if there was mandatory vacation time, people are still coming back to...
00:28:17
Speaker
Boxes and boxes and boxes of emails and work to do. yeah So a lot of times, the reason why I don't stop working And I don't sit still because I have only a one day a week where I've designated I'm not going to do any work.
00:28:33
Speaker
Right. And I still end up doing a little work, but it's for the podcast. so I don't really consider that work work. But there's a reason why I designate one day, because I know for my health benefits, I don't need to work on that day.
00:28:46
Speaker
hmm. The problem is I can't designate any other day because if I'm just sitting around, I'm like, there's some work I could be doing right now. yeah And so people would do that on vacation. So it's about a culture change completely.
00:29:02
Speaker
Yeah. Whatever company that you're working for and people, not everybody is meant to be a manager. I think you can learn how to be a good manager But I don't know if you can learn how to be a good leader.
00:29:16
Speaker
I don't know if you can. There are strategies and skills, soft skills, that you can gain through experience. But I think when your premise of what a manager or a leader is is wrong from the beginning, you're not going to be If you think that what a manager is or what a a leader is is someone who tells people what to do,
00:29:42
Speaker
then you're already you're are you're already not set up to be good at that. So like ah a manager or a leader is a guide.
00:29:54
Speaker
They're a resource. They're there to make sure that you have everything you need to do your job effectively and to develop you. in the in the ways that, you know, align with whatever your career path is. So it's not do this, do that, do this, and I take the credit.
00:30:13
Speaker
If you're already thinking that that's what a leader is and you're, it doesn't matter what soft skills you learn, you're never going to be good at the job. I just think that this country, because we are so invested on capitalism,
00:30:29
Speaker
And capitalism says, you know, we need businesses to run and we need people to work in those businesses and we need those businesses to grow. Yeah. Now, if you have good business owners who are like, look, we're going to grow the business. I'm going to to employ as many people as possible.
00:30:47
Speaker
I'm not going to hoard all the profits as I grow. I'm going to hire more, pay them right and develop a culture where people want to come into work. Great. But overall,
00:30:58
Speaker
In this country, that isn't the case. they just There was just an article the other day. Major companies just laid off a rack of people. yeah Amazon was one of them.
00:31:09
Speaker
Google, all these people. that Tens of thousands of people were laid off. And it's just like, what happens? Well, AI is going to help replace some of that some of that workload.
00:31:22
Speaker
But then there's going to be responsibilities heaped on other people. Anytime you lay people off, it's not like the boss comes down and says, all right, let me get my hands dirty, roll up my sleeves and get down here and work with you.
00:31:32
Speaker
No, those responsibilities get passed on to somebody else who already has a crazy workload. And when they take a break... All that workload does is pile up so you can't even relax on your vacation.
00:31:45
Speaker
Another thing that it that gets talked about in this article is time poverty, when people do take their time off, typically it's used for childcare.
00:31:57
Speaker
yeah So we were raised where our parents got vacation and our parents took us to vacation that was kid stuff. Where didn't get a chance to relax. That was King's Dominion's and water parks. and They would get a chance to ride in the lazy river for a little bit of time. And that's where they got peace and tranquility for that seven day vacation for about an hour.
00:32:19
Speaker
And then had to turn around and go right back to work. yeah And so people are just getting burnt the hell out. And then they're leaving. They're like, look.
00:32:31
Speaker
Y'all don't want to give me a remote job or even a hybrid job. I'm going to rock with you for ah enough time for me to find a new job that will and then I'm out. Because I could take a pay decrease if I'm not commuting to work because it might all even out in the end. And even if it doesn't even out, my peace of mind is better off in this situation than dealing with you.
00:32:53
Speaker
Yeah.
Historical Influences on Modern Management
00:32:55
Speaker
And so i mean it's funny, it got me thinking ah what you were saying earlier about the corporate the corporate culture.
00:33:07
Speaker
And it got me thinking that a lot of our modern industrial kind of management is directly influenced by enslavement.
00:33:19
Speaker
if you're used paying people,
00:33:24
Speaker
paying your workers. And suddenly the system changes and now you have to treat them like with equitable like equitable treatment, right? And fair treatment.
00:33:42
Speaker
When the history of business practices in this country is, and the and the financial power of this compent country I say company because America is a business, or like the the modern ideas of capitalism are rooted in the history of enslavement, then you're already starting from a foundation that's not going to be equitable to the worker.
00:34:15
Speaker
Yes. You know who the largest employer for the Southern states is outside of government? Who? Walmart. Do you know the majority, a large scale of their employers are on SNAP?
00:34:33
Speaker
Of their employees? Employees, yeah. Yeah. Their employees are on SNAP. Yeah. Did you know that one of every four dollars from SNAP benefits are paid to a Walmart?
00:34:47
Speaker
People shop with SNAP benefits at Walmart. So one of every $4 that is spent using SNAP is being spent at Walmart.
00:34:59
Speaker
Yeah. So what is this all telling you? It's telling you Walmart, one, doesn't... Pay doesn't try to make you a full-time employee because they don't want to pay benefits.
00:35:11
Speaker
Walmart makes sure that you pour, so you got to sign up for SNAP. Yeah. Walmart also makes sure they're going to get a little bit of SNAP money. You know what it reminds me of? It reminds me of sharecropping.
00:35:23
Speaker
When you were paid in some made-up money that the plantation that only works at their stores...
00:35:35
Speaker
So you're just giving them their their money right back. It reminds me of the same thing.
00:35:43
Speaker
Yeah. yeah Yeah. And so, America, wake up! Wake up, we are killing ourselves. and And I have to listen to myself as well. This anxiety that comes over me when I'm sitting and relaxing...
00:35:59
Speaker
It's okay. Like, I can sit and relax. Like, I don't need to do something all the time. Yes. The greatest thing that we did for this podcast is reduce the number of content...
00:36:13
Speaker
individual content that we put on YouTube. We were putting out two pieces of content every day. So 14 pieces of content every week. yeah And now we are putting out, I think it's nine.
00:36:24
Speaker
That workload, that reduction, because yeah ladies and gentlemen, don't get me wrong. Look, I love doing this podcast. I love it. But I am an ambitious person. Mm-hmm. And i don't i don't I don't walk, I run.
00:36:38
Speaker
Like my mom tells a story that I was scooting for a long time, scooting, scooting, scooting, hadn't walked, and I stood up and ran. yeah never walked. I stood up and ran. That's who I am as a person.
00:36:51
Speaker
So I took on a little bit more than I could chew in the beginning. But scaling it back has been a huge weight off of my shoulders, and i have more time to just sit around and play video games. And I ain't bought the new versions of the video games, because you know why?
00:37:06
Speaker
I didn't really get to play the old versions. So I could save a little bit of money and not get the new versions, but play the old versions. But most importantly, There has to be a mentality reset for everybody in this country yeah that's an older millennial, Gen X and above. Because i Gen Zs, they don't have this issue.
00:37:26
Speaker
They're not going to suffer from time poverty. They're going to go ahead and get themselves a new job. They yeah got the right idea. And you know what problem is? Everybody from our generation up is trying to say that they're lazy. No, they're smarter because they realize that they don't want to work themselves to death. Yeah.
00:37:43
Speaker
No. ah they have the right They have the right idea. And it is to demand your benefit. This is part... Your paid leave is part of your benefits package. is So just like you are owed your paycheck, you are owed your paid leave.
00:38:02
Speaker
And no, they cannot force you to work during your leave. It's actually illegal. i don't even like this thing where you got to request leave. Look...
00:38:14
Speaker
Right. I told you I'm not going to be here. Yeah. I'm letting you know this wasn't me asking because I'm an adult and I can go and do what I want. And also I have this benefit that is owed to me in exchange for my labor.
00:38:32
Speaker
But they show companies show how well tell you that you got to use it or lose it. Yeah. They were they we they like, hey, you got to use this before you lose. They will. They will do some stuff like that.
00:38:42
Speaker
And now we're we're not even taught. We're talking about people who have access to paid leave. We're not even talking about the fact that paid leave fuels inequality. Right. Because low wage and part time workers are the least likely to have access. Only six percent of the bottom 10 percent wage earners have paid family leave.
00:39:04
Speaker
Right. And that this it that disproportionately impacts who? Well, obviously, low income folks. Right. Women and people of color.
00:39:16
Speaker
Man, look, life really sucks if you poor in this country. It really does. No way. don't get you no way out. You're like, what about snap? Look, let me tell you something. That ain't a way out. That's just a way to survive.
00:39:27
Speaker
Yeah. Two different things. that Being able to survive and then being able to survive and find your way out, two totally different things. This country doesn't allow you too much opportunity to get yourself out of poverty. It really doesn't.
00:39:45
Speaker
It's really a set up to keep you in poverty. yeah I mean, it's I can't help but continue to go back to that that this idea of sharecropping, right? Like the whole point of it was that you never earn your way out.
00:40:03
Speaker
Mm-hmm. You never escape poverty because in order for the top 1% to stay at the top, the majority of us have to stay in poverty.
00:40:19
Speaker
That's how it works. That's capitalism.
00:40:24
Speaker
There you go right there. But speaking of capitalism, what would you do if you was broke and people invited themselves over her for a party at your place?
Reddit Story: Hosting Costs & Friendship
00:40:35
Speaker
and you had to pay for it. We gonna get into that next.
00:40:48
Speaker
Okay, Jay, look. Ladies and gentlemen, we have been doing a lot of Reddit posts. My sister is very busy. and Okay. And I'm very busy. yeah Besides, we get a lot of feedback that y'all enjoy us commenting on these Reddit posts. And I think it's a good way to end the show because my sister typically goes off on a rant that's kind of funny.
00:41:10
Speaker
And I think this story will be no different than the previous ones of my sister going off on a rant and being funny. Why do you always pick ones that rile me up?
00:41:21
Speaker
Well, Jay, I always pick topics that will rile you up because that's good for the show. yeah I didn't know this was a strategic choice.
00:41:33
Speaker
I'm producing you. At the heart of me, I'm not a host. I'm a producer. Got it. I might be a decent interviewer, um but at the heart of me, I'm a producer. Okay. That's what I am. I'm good at eliciting some type of emotion out of people and directing them and pointing them in the right. That's that's who I am as a person. Got it. So that's the reason why a lot of times I get gold.
00:42:01
Speaker
And people comment and they say, your sister was so hilarious when she said that. And I'm like, I know. I pointed in a direction because I knew where she was going to go. so I knew she was going to lose her temper. And this story should be no different. So, yeah it's an Am I the Jerk.
00:42:17
Speaker
That's the title of that that's the subreddit. It is Am I a Jerk for invoicing my friend group $23 each after they pushed me to host a playoff watch party.
00:42:30
Speaker
Nah, I just gave you the title, Jay. Mm-hmm. What do you think? before i read the Before I read the post, what do you think just off the title? No. I don't think you're a jerk for that. if it an invoice?
00:42:43
Speaker
Y'all owe me some money. Do they owe him some money? that that i have to i have to hear the story. Okay, so here's the story. Here's what he wrote. I'm a 31 male, have a tiny apartment, but I have the biggest TV in our group and a decent club couch. A week before the game, the group chat basically votes that the party is at my place because quote unquote, your sound is crazy good.
00:43:08
Speaker
I say cool, but I can't afford to feed nine people solo right now. I suggest a potluck or we split basics. Two people say they're bringing wings and brownies. One says he'll do chips, but day of only chips show up.
00:43:23
Speaker
I end up buying three pizzas, of vesy a veggie tray, ice, two 12-packs, and sultzers because I panic that it'll be weird with nothing. The receipt total was $2.07.41 and my place got wrecked.
00:43:37
Speaker
Nothing broken, just sticky glasses and salsa in the rug. Everyone left fast because it was a Monday. Next morning, the same chat is sharing memes about the game and saying, hey.
00:43:49
Speaker
And I say, hey, can we split the cost? It's $23 each. I'll send a breakdown. Immediately, I got dude is tacky to charge for hospitality and... You offered to host.
00:44:01
Speaker
I didn't offer. They picked me and I said, b split or potluck like three times. One guy Venmo's me, the rest start moving goalposts that they barely drank, that they brought vibes, that they could deduct pizza because I had two slices too.
00:44:17
Speaker
I say, it's okay not to pay. I just won't host next time because I'm not a bank. Now I'm petty and keeping score. I do like having people over, but I also like rent paid on time.
00:44:30
Speaker
Am I the jerk for sending the invoice and saying no more hosting if we don't split? No. And you don't have friends.
00:44:40
Speaker
i know you I know you say this is the group chat, this is your friend group, but you don't have friends. The one person who Venmo'd you is your friend.
00:44:53
Speaker
But going to tell you, when when I host things, one, people bring the things they say they're going to bring. That's number one.
00:45:04
Speaker
And two, my friends offer, hey, what you need, friend, what you need me to bring? Do you need me to contribute anything? Because that's what friends do. Because they realize I'm opening up my home to a bunch of folks that for something that probably don't even have nothing to do with me.
00:45:22
Speaker
Right. But, but my home is, is centrally located and it really is set up for entertaining. So. Your house is definitely set up for entertaining. Yeah. So I don't mind hosting things, but I never have to say, Hey, you know, I ain't got it like that. So can y'all help out?
00:45:42
Speaker
It's always offered. Yeah. It's always offered because they realize that just op the act of opening your home up is a lot in and of itself.
00:45:53
Speaker
And you foot the bill to feed nine people.
00:45:59
Speaker
And they trying to act and they trying to nickel and only do you not have friends, you know, some broke people.
00:46:11
Speaker
Right. Because, bruh, it's $23. I didn't ask you for $2,300. Asked you for $2,0. And you know, Black, the Black cutoff is... No, no, this is $2,3. $2,3. You said $2,0. It's $23. Well, because we round. were Black, folk we round. I was just about to say the Black cutoff is $40. So it don't even approach the Black cutoff for stuff being expensive, which is $40.
00:46:39
Speaker
It's $23. Right. $23.
00:46:42
Speaker
right twenty three
00:46:45
Speaker
And y'all nickel and dime. Well, you had pizza too. So yeah, I paid $207. So I paid for my slices. And on top of that, he's not saying, well, no, I'm not paying for anything.
00:47:02
Speaker
He's saying between all of us, it's $23 a piece. So I don't even know what they were talking about. you got to deduct two slices of pizza. Was he paying $23 and he don't get to enjoy on anything? Right.
00:47:14
Speaker
You're... Nah. So when you said that he didn't have friends initially, I was just like, well, this is a guy thing. Guys typically aren't real courteous. And what's the word I'm looking for?
00:47:27
Speaker
not kind of like... Considerate? Considerate. There you go. Yeah. that guy Guy friends, we're jerks to each other. Yeah. Like we are just legitimately jerks to each other.
00:47:39
Speaker
But don't have no guy friends like this. No, especially not at the grown age of 31. Right. And here's another thing. When I was doing things at 31, having people over, people brought stuff.
00:47:52
Speaker
I didn't even have to ask. They brought stuff. Yes. and I'd never show up empty handed. Never show up empty-handed. And another thing that pissed me off about this is that he said his house was wrecked afterwards. yeah I recently went over a friend's house. They cooked dinner.
00:48:09
Speaker
was as big It was his big dinner, right? And they were still cooking when I got there. I was like, I'm... bring a dessert or something. and and No, no, no, no, just bring yourself. Just bring yourself. And was like, okay, cool.
00:48:20
Speaker
Everything was done. We're done eating. And I'm like, yo, there's mad dishes in the sink. Let me like, let me yeah wash some dishes or something. No, don't worry about that. No, no, I'm not leaving here.
00:48:31
Speaker
Your house a mess after the you invited me over and you told me not to bring anything. And I didn't because you insisted upon me not bringing anything. I'm going to help with these dishes. Yeah. You know what's funny?
00:48:44
Speaker
Every time I have something at my house, when it's wrapping up, you will look in my kitchen and it's people in there washing dishes and wiping the counters down, putting the food away, taking the garbage out.
00:48:58
Speaker
I don't do any of that. like but I don't do any of that. There was one birthday where you couldn't. Well, yes, yes. Sometimes, sometimes I can't.
00:49:09
Speaker
ah But you just woke up the next day and everything was clean. Everything was done and put away. And I was just like, oh, cool, because I don't remember anything that happened. But now you you say especially to people like, oh, we'll bring wings and brownies. And then you show up empty handed.
00:49:28
Speaker
The bare minimum is chips. You have them as chips. But you say you're going to bring the wings and the brownies. You show up empty-handed, and then you don't even contribute to this man buying the pizza and the veggie tray and the ice and the 212 packs and the seltzers and all the things, like, knowing that you didn't bring the thing that you said you were going to bring.
00:49:50
Speaker
You should have handed him some cash as he was doing these things. Like, it... ah Oh, hell no. Like, sir, listen.
00:50:01
Speaker
Sir, let me tell you something. cost $207.41 to get a gang of people up out your life.
00:50:12
Speaker
Well, no, no. Deduct $23 because one person did pay. ah One person did pay, yes. i would I would venture to believe it was also the person that brought the chips. Probably.
00:50:25
Speaker
Probably. like oh Yeah, okay. no you I bet you it was the same person. I bet you it was the same person. Here's another thing. You know, I'm petty. And I don't mind rubbing in in my guy friends' faces. Like, y'all said y'all was going to bring in something, bring stuff. Y'all didn't bring nothing?
00:50:43
Speaker
Okay, cool. I'd order food for myself. Oh, yeah. Food and drinks and everything. Oh, yeah. Yo, you ain't get us nothing eat? I was like, everybody's supposed to bring wing stuff. Didn't nobody bring nothing.
00:50:54
Speaker
Y'all wanted to invite yourself over to my crib. Y'all got Uber Eats. Y'all got DoorDash. Go ahead and order you something. The way I'd have sat up there. with six to ten honey mustard wings and crinkle fries.
00:51:10
Speaker
Not honey mustard wings. And a large drink and watch that game in my home. and And if you have a problem with you can get the hell out. Like, nah.
00:51:22
Speaker
And then you try to put it on me. It's tacky to charge for hospitality. this This was a group idea. This was a idea. And it their idea. And it was your idea.
00:51:34
Speaker
And y'all voted that it would be at my place because the sound is crazy. Fine. That's great. But let me remind you that I said we're going split it or do a potluck like three times and y'all act like y'all didn't hear me.
00:51:46
Speaker
So, okay, you don't want to pay me? Fine. I'll eat that. Shout out to the one person who did. Don't ask me for nothing. And if you have a problem with it, now I'm petty and I'm keeping score, cool.
00:52:00
Speaker
Y'all can go ahead. you The next thing you're going to see is Jonna has left the chat. That's the next thing you're going to see is that I've left the chat. I'm also petty enough to just be like, okay, I'm going to eat that.
00:52:14
Speaker
And then can't wait for somebody else to throw a party. Can't wait. And then I'm come in there with some muddy boots like Rick James from The Day Chappelle. Mm-hmm. and put put my boots all in there.
00:52:25
Speaker
Because not only, they spilled salsa in the rug. Yeah. Salsa in the rug. Like, nah. I'm paying for everything. Ain't y'all gonna mess up my house? Ain't nobody gonna help me c clean?
00:52:39
Speaker
yeah They wouldn't be allowed in my house no more. Yeah. No, you absolutely are not crossing my threshold. You broke freeloaders. Like, to hell with you.
00:52:50
Speaker
No, those are not your friends. Those are not your friends, and it just cost you $207.41 less the $23 the one person sent you and they a little bag of chips. I was pretty sure, again, that it's the same person, but like... guarantee you it was. But I'm letting you know right now, you are not petty.
00:53:09
Speaker
You are not just keeping score. No, y'all owe me this. This was it was... I hosted it at my house, but this was a joint decision.
00:53:22
Speaker
to have this this watch party. Y'all not going play me like that. Keep on. You're going to see John has left to chat. And I'm going just say these were baseball fans too, by the way, because the only playoffs that's going on right now is baseball.
00:53:38
Speaker
and So these were baseball fans. so Yeah. Get out my face, brokey. If you $31, you're 30 years old, you in your late 20s, early and somebody is asking you to contribute $23, which if you go to a club or a strip club, you got to pay $20 to get in.
00:53:57
Speaker
And they don't even give you free drinks. You had beer, pizza, some chips and salsa. There were salsas there. You watched it on my TV. You sat on my couch.
00:54:09
Speaker
You got salsa in my rug and you can't give me
00:54:16
Speaker
it'll be one thing if in the group chat I had posted an invite. Hey guys, I decided to have the play a playoff watch party. Everybody come through.
00:54:27
Speaker
If I invoice you then... Okay, I'm wrong for that. You're wrong for that. But that's not what happened here. Nah. Nah, you just, you you you done you done dodged a bullet.
00:54:38
Speaker
Find some friends. Find some actual friends, because this is not what they are. yeah Yeah, at first I wasn't rolling with you when you first made that statement, but yeah. Yeah. You convinced me. Friends don't do this. Except Mr. $23 and chips.
00:54:52
Speaker
That's your boy. Yeah, that's your friend, for real, right there. Matter of fact, you you should just be at the next game. You should be like, hey, man, you you want to go to the bar? And you might even buy him a round. Just be like, hey, thank you for just...
00:55:06
Speaker
being cool about everything. Yeah. Because, you know, you showed me that you ain't like the rest of them. Where else can you pay $23 for, and you get pizza, vegetables, beer, seltzer, and it only cost you $23, and you get to watch the game. And some chips.
00:55:25
Speaker
And some chips and salsa, and you get to watch the game. Where else can't you do that for $23? Hmm.
00:55:34
Speaker
I'm not going to say that you was a jerk for doing this. I am going say you was an idiot for feeling like it was going to be weird because nothing was there because they didn't bring what they said they was going to bring. No, then we were just going sit in here hungry.
00:55:47
Speaker
Right. What you should have done is ordered you some food. You ordered you some stuff and sat there and enjoyed the game and let them look hungry because DoorDash and Uber Eats is just a button away on your cell phone. You have do it yourself. Yep.
00:56:02
Speaker
On that note, Jay, what do you want to tell the people out here? treat them over Choose your friends wisely. treat them over cycle Also choose your alcohol wisely. That too.
00:56:14
Speaker
On that note, ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank you for listening. I want to thank you for watching. And until next time, as always, I'll holla.
00:56:27
Speaker
That was a hell of a show. Thank you for rocking with us here on Unsolicited Perspectives with Bruce Anthony. Now, before you go, don't forget to follow, subscribe, like, comment, and share our podcast wherever you're listening or watching it to it. Pass it along to your friends. If you enjoy it, that means the people that you rock will willing enjoy it also. So share the wealth, share the knowledge, share the noise.
00:56:50
Speaker
And for all those people that say, well, I don't have a YouTube. If you have a Gmail account, you have a YouTube. Subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can actually watch our video podcast and YouTube exclusive content. for fa the site But the real party is on our Patreon page.
00:57:04
Speaker
After Hours Uncensored and Talking Straight-ish. After Hours Uncensored is another show with my sister. And once again, the key word there is uncensored. Those who exclusively on our Patreon page, jump onto to our website at unsolicitedperspective.com. dot com for all things us that's where you can get all of our audio video our blogs and even buy our merch and if you really feel generous and want to help us out you can donate on our donations paid donations go strictly to improving our software and hardware so we can keep giving you guys good content that you can
00:57:36
Speaker
clearly listened to and that you can clearly see. So any donation would be appreciative. Most importantly, I want to say thank you. Thank you. Thank you for listening and watching and supporting us. And I'll catch you next time.
00:57:51
Speaker
Audi 5000. Peace.