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More Money, More Problems: Love, Loss & $120K
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When family, money, and “champagne taste on a wine-cooler budget” collide, things get messy fast. In this episode, Bruce Anthony and J. Aundrea tackle viral Reddit AITA wedding drama, a $120K job offer vs city-job security, and a coworker bold enough to ask for half a bonus they didn’t earn.
They break down an inheritance dilemma where a sister caring for her dying father is left money to start her future—only for her sibling to demand $30K for a destination wedding. Then they debate the $82K vs $120K choice: stay with a stable city job and benefits, or chase a higher-paying private role with more risk and less free time.
Finally, office chaos erupts when a top-performing salesperson earns a $15K bonus and a freeloading coworker wants to split it “because we’re a team.” Bruce and Jay dig into entitlement, boundaries, work–life balance, and why some people get a little too comfortable in your wallet.
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Chapters:
Chapters:
00:00 Love, Loss & The $120K Dilemma: What Would You Do? 💔💰🤔
00:18 Welcome to Unsolicited Perspectives 🎙️🔥
00:46 Sibling Happy Hour: Sips, Laughs & Sibling Shenanigans 🍹😂
03:06 Dad's Will Reveals Who He Really Valued 📜💔✨
04:52 The Audacity: $30K for Venue & Catering?! 🤯💸🎉
06:12 You Have Your Own Life - PERIOD! 🔥💯🎤
08:27 Sell The Classic Car If You Want The Money! 🚗💰👊
11:10 Family Drama: Who's Really Daddy's Little Girl? 👨👧💔🤔
14:12 Not All Siblings Are Close - The Hard Truth 😬👥💯
17:03 Final Verdict: Don't Give In To The Guilt! ⚖️🚫💪
20:24 Life-Changing Career Decision: $82K vs $120K! 💰💼
20:54 Dream Salary Alert: But Wait, There's a Catch! 💸⚠️
21:58 Security vs. Big Money: The Ultimate Showdown 🛡️💵
25:31 Work-Life Balance: The Real MVP 🏆⚖️
27:39 Money Talks: The Truth About Tax Brackets 📊💸
29:49 The Verdict: Choose Wisely for Your Future 🎯✨
32:21 Bonus Drama: When Your Coworker Wants Half Your Money 💰😤🚨
39:33 The Audacity of Jenny: Split It 50/50?! 🤯💸😡
43:02 When Being Right Means Being A Jerk Too 😬🎤💯
46:11 How You Say It Matters More Than What 🗣️💭✨
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Transcript
Introduction to Unsolicited Perspectives
00:00:00
Speaker
sibling rivalry, big money, and impossible choices. We gonna get into it. Let's get it.
00:00:17
Speaker
Welcome. First of all, welcome. This is Unsolicited Perspectives. I'm your host, Bruce Anthony, here to lead the conversation in an important events and topics that are shaping today's society. Join the conversation follow us wherever you get your audio podcasts. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for our video podcast, YouTube exclusive content, and our YouTube membership.
00:00:36
Speaker
Rate, review, like, comment, share. Share with your friends, share with your family, hell, even share with your enemies. On today's episode, it's the sibling happy hour, sorta.
00:00:48
Speaker
Today we're gonna be giving you a sneak peek into an after hours uncensored and a couple of YouTube exclusives. We're gonna be talking about when family members try to ask for money, when coworkers try to ask for money, and my sister's gonna be attacking me in the last segment.
00:01:03
Speaker
But that's enough of the intro. Let's get to the show.
Reddit Scenario: Inheritance and Wedding Dilemma
00:01:13
Speaker
As I said at the top, this is a YouTube exclusive sneak peek. If you're on our YouTube page, you've seen this before. If you only listen to the audio podcast, I'm telling you, there's so much content on our YouTube page that is exclusively to YouTube.
00:01:28
Speaker
Well, except for this one, because this YouTube exclusives, we're going to offer to you guys on the audio podcast. So check out this conversation. All right, Jay, here's another one about a wedding, another Reddit post and another bridezilla. And this this one, you know, we go through these different situations on these Reddit posts with people in these weddings and the bridezilla. This one is a little bit different.
00:01:54
Speaker
Because there's some animosity between these two siblings. So the title of the Reddit post is, Am I a Jerk for Refusing to Give Up My Inheritance to Pay for My Sister's Wedding?
00:02:05
Speaker
Now, but hold on now. Just from the title, Somebody's Inheritance. If I inherited money and you was getting and you was getting married, I would, you know, break you off a little bit. You know, you had, you know, you would volunteer it. I wouldn't ask.
00:02:22
Speaker
You know, I wouldn't assume either. You specifically wouldn't ask. I had to be like, hey, OJ, why don't you take a little bit this money? how i I'm good. It's like we eating baloney. It's my wedding. So like, I'm.
00:02:36
Speaker
i'm not. planning on having a wedding that I can't pay for, then I'm not having a wedding. Well, let me tell you how this story goes. All right, so here's a Reddit post. My dad passed away last year after a long illness.
00:02:48
Speaker
It was devastating. But honestly, the the last few years of his life were harder than the funeral itself. I, a 28-year-old female, was one who moved back home to take care of him. I handled doctor's appointments, late night emergency bill late-night bills, and basically ran the house when he couldn't anymore.
00:03:05
Speaker
It was exhausting, but I don't regret it. He and I got very close during that time. My sister, a 32-year-old female, on the other hand, lives out of the state. She came back twice in the last year of his life, once for Christmas and once for his birthday.
00:03:19
Speaker
I don't think she's a bad person, but she's definitely distanced herself from from the responsibility. Her excuse was that she had her own life and couldn't just drop everything. I understood at the time, but it still hurt.
00:03:32
Speaker
When dad passed, his will specifically left me a decent chunk of money, not millions, but enough that I could pay off my student loans and actually start saving for a house. It was clear in the will that his money was for me because of the sacrifices I made while caring for him.
00:03:50
Speaker
My sister received other things. He left her some jewelry and a classic car he had restored that she had always loved. But the majority of the liquid assets went to me. Fast forward to now.
00:04:00
Speaker
My sister got engaged in May and her fiance is nice enough, but they both have champagne tastes on a beer budget. The wedding they're planning is way out of their price range. Destination resort, design address, open bar, huge guest list.
00:04:15
Speaker
I assumed they were going into debt for it, which I thought, hey, that's their choice. But then about a month ago, my sister sat me down and said, I need your help. Dad would have wanted you to use some of your inheritance to make my wedding special.
00:04:29
Speaker
She wasn't asking for a small loan. She wanted me to hand over $30,000 come to the venue and the catering. I told her no. I said, dad left me that money for a reason, and I'm using it to build stability in my life, not blow it on a party.
00:04:44
Speaker
She immediately got defensive and accused me of being selfish and choosing money over family. Now, my mom has gotten involved. She said, I know how you feel about that stuff. All right.
00:04:57
Speaker
She said, dad would have wanted me to share and that family comes first. I told her dad literally wrote a will that reflected his wishes. And if he wanted to fund my sister's wedding, he would have set aside money for that.
00:05:10
Speaker
Mom keeps saying I'm tearing the family apart. My sister has been telling relatives that I'm punishing her for not being around when dad was sick. which makes me feel sick to my stomach because it's kind of true.
00:05:23
Speaker
I am resentful, but it also feels unfair that a person who did all the work gets nothing and the one who barely showed up gets rewarded. Some cousins are on her side and and have texted me things like, it's just money, you'll make more, and your dad would have wanted her to have a special day.
00:05:41
Speaker
Others, thankfully, have said it's insane for for her to even ask. yeah Now my sister says that she won't invite me to the wedding at all. And my mom is begging me to reconsider for the sake of peace.
Family Dynamics and Financial Responsibilities
00:05:54
Speaker
But honestly, I can't see myself handing over $30,000 just so my sister can have a fancy Instagram wedding while I put my future on hold. Still, the guilt is eating at me.
00:06:05
Speaker
Am I really the jerk for refusing to share my inheritance with my sister to pay for her wedding? No, because you have your own life and you can't just drop everything.
00:06:16
Speaker
Period. Say it again for the people in the back who didn't want to hear you. You have your own life and you can't just drop everything because your sister is getting married. Here's the thing.
00:06:28
Speaker
Should you be resentful for your sister not helping while your dad was ill and prior to his passing? No, I think you honestly should let that go. Here's the reason why.
00:06:41
Speaker
You volunteered to come home and take care of him. Yes, it was hard for you. It was exhausting, but that was your choice. Okay.
00:06:53
Speaker
Your sister also made a choice.
00:06:58
Speaker
Like you can't hold your decision to volunteer to do this for your father because she didn't make the same decision.
00:07:08
Speaker
is not It's not fair for you to hold that against her. Okay. But I just find it interesting. First of all, and this is really going to moms because it's always the mom.
00:07:22
Speaker
Mind your business. Mind your business, first of all. Okay? But I just love the fact that it's only when people want something from you that they want you to be a team player.
00:07:36
Speaker
Right? that is now Now you're choosing money over family. Family comes first. Family didn't come first. When you only showed up for for Christmas and dad's birthday.
00:07:51
Speaker
Now family comes first because you want something. Family didn't come first back then.
00:07:59
Speaker
The fact of the matter is. If he wanted to sell that classic car. oh That'll get you to 30,000. Sell the jewelry. Sell the jewelry. Sell the classic car. He did give you things.
00:08:12
Speaker
You want that 30 grand? Sell the car. then you can have the money to cover the venue and the wedding. Don't act like you need my, you inherited things also. Just cause I inherited the cash doesn't mean you ain't get something also.
00:08:26
Speaker
right Use your stuff. yeah I'm just really tired of this double standard that people have of like, you will not be anywhere around when you're needed.
00:08:40
Speaker
But as soon as you need something, Everybody else has to drop it everything or they're selfish. Now y'all can go to hell with that. Like, no, you're not being the jerk.
00:08:52
Speaker
You do not. She got an inheritance also. She can use that. That is your money to set up you your own life. Like, do you understand the kind of wealth, generational wealth that you're going to be building by no longer having student loans and getting started one on having a home?
00:09:13
Speaker
Like you're really at 28, you are really setting yourself up for success. Do not let go of that because of someone else's selfishness. Hell no.
00:09:24
Speaker
And tell your mama to mind her business. And if it comes to it, anybody that got a problem, block them.
00:09:36
Speaker
Block them. If this were, we had one YouTube exclusive where a mom needed surgery or something like that. This was like a person needing something like, oh, they get they're about to lose their home. Or...
00:09:51
Speaker
You know, maybe she got some nieces and nephews and it's like, hey, we need a little bit of money to help pay for this, you know, tuition to go to school or something like that. You know, ah that's something where I'd be like, OK, yeah, I could dig into my pocket.
00:10:03
Speaker
um This is a loan. Y'all gonna pay me back. But, yeah you know, I could dig into my pocket to help out. This is the pay for a wedding. And there was a wedding that they started planning with the thought in mind that you were going to give them that thirty thousand dollars. Absolutely. That was one of the points I was about to make.
00:10:20
Speaker
Also, what the hell are they paying for? If the venue and the catering, if you the $30,000 for the venue and the caterer, what are they just paying for? The flowers, the cake? and No, catering, it takes care all the food. So the flowers and the dress, is that it? That might be provided by the venue.
00:10:38
Speaker
I mean, not the dress, not the dress, but like the flowers. Yeah, you're right. What the hell did they do? The open bar. What are they paying for? Their flights to a destination wedding. Let's not forget destination wedding.
00:10:50
Speaker
So as I was reading this, couple of things stood out to me that pointed to what the dynamic of the family might be. I think she's daddy's little girl.
00:11:02
Speaker
he She said that they were kind of close, but that they grew closer during this. Yeah. Yeah. She, it seems like, because the mama was not involved in helping taking care of the dad. So the mama and dad, it seems like the mama and dad are no longer together.
00:11:18
Speaker
And there might have been really need to stay out of it. Right. And there may have been a split. There may have been a split in the family. And it seems like the younger sister kind of, Made sure to have this connection with both her parents, but gravitated maybe more to dad or maybe just gravitated to dad because the dad was in need.
00:11:37
Speaker
But like, yeah, she she was. couldn't He couldn't care for his household or for himself anymore. He needed help. She volunteered to do it. Right. yeah And, you know, the older sister, maybe through the split of the mom and dad, favor mom. This happens when parents split. Right. Like even when you don't want to choose sides, there's a part of you that chooses ah a side over another, depending on how they split.
00:12:02
Speaker
It's just human nature. And. It's emotions and you got to get past it and move on. But it seems like from this post that she was just like, look, I'm going to drop everything. take Dad is not doing well. Dad doesn't really have anything at anybody to help take care of I'm going to drop and do things.
00:12:21
Speaker
And yeah she she probably did not. She probably did out of the kind of his heart of a heart. She gained two things. She gained. closer she She grew closer with her dad during this time.
00:12:34
Speaker
And she got paid for it. yeah and And I'm sure that was not the intention, but she did. yeah And for her sister to come and be like, yo, forget what dad wanted.
00:12:49
Speaker
Right. Right.
00:12:52
Speaker
I need you to give me the money that dad gave you. Right. So that I can have this day. With a dude that she said, she was like, he's, you know, he's nice enough. But I mean, she didn't even know that particular about it.
00:13:06
Speaker
So it's like, people need to stop assuming that, what's the point I'm trying to make here? People need to stop assuming
00:13:20
Speaker
that they're the main character in everybody's life. Right. You're not. You're not. and and to And honestly, as the older sibling, to potentially deprive your sister of setting herself up well financially for the rest of her life, just so you can have a party, i feel like this' wild.
00:13:45
Speaker
And it really lets me know where her sister's head's at. Well, so this is the reason why it's wild to us, to us specifically, to me and you, the reason why it's ah wild to us because we would never do no shit like that to each other.
00:14:00
Speaker
no But we're not all siblings are like us. We've seen it in our own family, our own extended family, that not all siblings are like us.
00:14:10
Speaker
So sometimes we have to take it out of, damn, I would never do that to my brother and sister. Because that's just not how I move. Sometimes you got to take it out of that and look at it in a larger context and be like, no, just because they siblings don't mean that they close.
00:14:23
Speaker
Yeah. You know? Yeah. and i And I don't know. You know, we can make inferences about, you know, maybe one sister is closer to one parent than the other, that, and the third. I think it is probably more of like her sister, the older sister, the 32-year-old, she lives out of state. Maybe she couldn't, due to her job or circumstances, pick up and move back home.
00:14:47
Speaker
Yep, true. Maybe since she clearly has champagne champagne tastes on a beer budget, she could only afford to come back Christmas and his birthday. Right. And her distance and herself from responsibility. Look, caring for an ill and dying loved one. Tough.
00:15:03
Speaker
Is hard on every single level. It's hard physically, emotionally, mentally, psychologically, spiritually. It's hard on every level. And so not everybody.
00:15:17
Speaker
has the capacity to do it, right? And that's that's just a fact of life. And I don't think we should hold that against people if they just don't have the capacity to give that much.
00:15:31
Speaker
Maybe she gave what she could, okay? But the fact of the matter is her sister also received inheritance, right? She got jewelry and a whole ass car, fully restored classic car that will definitely give you more than that 30,000 that you were looking for.
00:15:51
Speaker
Sell it. If it's really that important to you, then you make some sacrifices. there you go I made my sacrifices and I got my reward.
00:16:03
Speaker
Now you make some sacrifices. To get your reward. To get your reward, which is this dumb ass wedding you want to have to this kind of okay dude. I'm going to assume that she love him. I'm going to assume that she love him. Okay.
00:16:18
Speaker
But both of y'all are delusional. Both of y'all are delusional. But like, if if she doesn't invite you to the wedding... Okay. Well, you just saved yourself $30,000.
00:16:30
Speaker
o Actually more because you would have had to pay for your flight, hotel accommodations. You would have had to pay for your outfit. I'm sure you'd have to pay for your food and everything while you were there and all of that.
00:16:42
Speaker
So she just saved you a whole hell of a lot of money. Not just that. If she had money left over. Don't think her sister won't hit her up at any time for a loan. If you gave me $30,000, you can get me $1,500. Yeah.
00:17:01
Speaker
yeah Don't think it would be over. and it's just money you'll make more. Everybody needs to get out of my face. The privilege of certain people to think money grows on trees. Money don't grow on trees.
00:17:14
Speaker
And this is the idea that you'll make more. yeah If you're lucky and you're privileged, you can make more. But that doesn't mean that that makes up for what you lost. You just might be trying to recover what you already spent. You in the hole, trying to dig yourself out a hole. Who the wants to be in the damn hole all the time?
00:17:33
Speaker
If the guilt is really eating you up, to the point where you are actually considering using this money for your sister's wedding, that's fine.
00:17:44
Speaker
But it's a loan. It's a loan. yeah you remember going get back She got to pay that back. and if she And get it in writing, because if she don't, take her to court. Y'all stop. Stop playing.
00:17:57
Speaker
Just because. but Listen. do don just boom do Just because it's family. Don't. make When money involved. Don't play. If you want to do it. I'm telling you not to do it. And don't go to that wedding either. Because these are people who clearly don't have your best interest at heart. They clearly don't care about you.
00:18:14
Speaker
So, but if you, if the guilt is eating you and I i understand that feeling, it's a loan and get it in writing. And both her and the okay dude have to sign it.
00:18:27
Speaker
They're both responsible for that promissory note. And if they don't pay you, take them to court and get that classic car. Ladies and gentlemen, that's cold.
00:18:39
Speaker
Ladies and gentlemen, what do you guys think? Is she a jerk for not loaning her sister $30,000 to help her pay for her wedding that her dad left her an inheritance? Go ahead and drop a comment down in the comment section and we gonna get at you.
00:18:58
Speaker
Got another YouTube exclusive for you. Check out the conversation that me and my sister have. So Jay, Went on once again, like, you know what I do? I'm going on Reddit.
00:19:10
Speaker
Yeah, I'm going on, I'm going to go on Reddit. So I went on Reddit and i I found a new thread and it was helped me make my choice. And I thought this it was an interesting conversation that needed to be had on this channel.
Reddit Scenario: Job Change for Higher Salary
00:19:23
Speaker
and So the title of the entry was, do I leave my $82,000 year job for a new $120,000 a year job.
00:19:35
Speaker
Now, before I even read this, what is your initial response to take a $38,000 increase in salary? thirty eight thousand dollars increase in salary Yes, you would want to go ahead and do that.
00:19:48
Speaker
That sounds like the thing you want to do. I don't know why this is even a question. Yeah. It's literally life changing, right? It's yeah literally an extra three grand a month.
00:19:59
Speaker
but i mean, before taxes, but actually three grand a month. yeah that's the Yeah, that's money you'll feel. You feel that difference. yeah Yes, that, of course, puts you in a different tax bracket.
00:20:12
Speaker
It does. It does. Yes. Yeah. But let's hear what my man has to say. How more problems. and That's what they say. But let's hear what my man got to say. and So I currently work for my local jurisdiction making $82,000 a year. The pros are it's close to my home.
00:20:27
Speaker
My work doesn't require doesn't come home with me. I have weekends off, great bennies and retirement, but most importantly, I have job security. If I stay in this position, I can top out at $107,000 a year, which would gradually increase over time, meaning that he's at 82 and he would eventually get to 107, gradually increasing over time.
00:20:50
Speaker
Yeah. I recently interviewed for a job that has offered me $120,000 a year salary that would be work from home mostly, but will require me to travel to neighboring states from time to time on an as needed basis.
00:21:03
Speaker
I'm unsure if I would work more than the standard 40 hours a week, which I really would like to avoid working anymore, especially being salaried. Benefits are okay. My biggest concern is transitioning back to private industry.
00:21:18
Speaker
If things get rocky, I don't want my position to be cut and I'm out of work suddenly. Working for the city is great. I love that I'm secured with my position. On the other hand, the pay for this job is extremely enticing.
00:21:33
Speaker
Not a big fan of having to travel from time to time, but but could make it work. Just feeling conflicted here. My current job pays decent and I have job security while the new job offers more pay.
00:21:46
Speaker
But the drawback is travel and potential job insecurity. What should I do?
00:21:53
Speaker
I don't know, man. um You know, now that I hear it it's kind of like,
00:22:02
Speaker
you know, when you get that city job, the one thing is the benefits. and And it's great that he has work-life balance with his city job.
00:22:15
Speaker
Hmm. Yeah, because my master is like, look, I don't want to work more than 40 hours a week. And now if I go in the private sector, I got to work more than 40 hours a week. Yeah.
00:22:25
Speaker
Well, he doesn't know. He's unsure. But chances are, listen, if you're in the private sector and you're salaried, yes, you're going to work more than 40 hours a week. That's just... That's just how it is. There's, you know, the benefits are not going to be as good.
00:22:41
Speaker
The work from home, I think, is a plus. But, you know, if that job requires some travel. ah to neighboring states.
00:22:52
Speaker
So not just a little bit of travel. Like, you got to go out of state. You got to go out of state. Yeah. So that's, you know, time away. And, of course, your travel time usually isn't during your work time, right? Like, so, yeah, I don't know.
00:23:09
Speaker
I mean, it just...
00:23:12
Speaker
If the person is is living comfortably at their current salary, knowing that they can't, as over time, it will increase to get them over that six-figure hump.
00:23:27
Speaker
Close, close to home. It doesn't come home with you like that to me is like the most important thing is that your work doesn't come home with you. You have weekends off and great benefits in retirement. Like you have to think about the long term picture. I honestly think they should probably stay with that city job.
00:23:47
Speaker
And just think about maybe leveraging this other opportunity to talk about, you know, to negotiate for your salary, just because they have these benchmarks, right, where it's like, they probably have a salary range per per position.
00:24:04
Speaker
doesn't mean that negotiation is off the table. um I definitely think that you can say, hey, I recently got an offer for this much. I really want to stay here, but I'm wondering, can you guys get me somewhere in this range of what they're offering? Because I am considering it, you know, just...
00:24:26
Speaker
You know, based on the salary and and things like that. But I am interested in staying, you know, my current position. Like leverage it, you know, when you talk about ah salary increase. But I don't know. I kind of think you want to stay with that city job.
00:24:42
Speaker
I think there's too many pros and and no cons. Because he said the pros are this, but he never said any cons, you know? right i think the only con is that it's 38,000 less.
00:24:57
Speaker
That's the only... But, I mean, you'll make up that difference eventually. and that's And that's if he stays in his position, he can go up to 107. could right?
00:25:09
Speaker
get a promotion You know what I'm saying? That puts you in that same range, but you still got the security of a city job. And stay with you stay with your current job.
00:25:21
Speaker
So I think the pandemic taught people something.
Work-Life Balance and Retirement Planning
00:25:24
Speaker
And this is what I mean by that. We were told, the majority of us, told to work from home. ah And then we realized how much more time we have in a day without commuting back and forth to work.
00:25:37
Speaker
yeah We both live in metropolitan cities and it is easy for a minimum to be an hour round trip a day to get yeah to and from work.
00:25:49
Speaker
Minimum. Minimum. men And then you're driving in that traffic, you're exhausted. And another thing that people realized, it was like, yo, Work takes up too much of my life, not just the commuting and the travel, but the actual doing of the work. This is reason why I'm so i'm I'm such a believer in Gen Z because millennials are like, take the work home with it. Always on call. Even on vacation, we have access to our email. I got to get this email out. No, your work isn't your life.
00:26:19
Speaker
Right. Your work is something that you do so that you can live. But it's not your life. Right. And I think a lot of people would look at the initial, that's the reason why i asked you before i started reading it, like, what is your initial response, that $38,000 increase?
00:26:34
Speaker
And he was like, it's $38,000. Of course I'm going take it. But you're not factoring in people by and large are not factoring in a lot of things. So let's talk about the bennies. He says he has great bennies in his current job.
00:26:47
Speaker
And when he says bennies, ladies and gentlemen, he means benefits. I mean, they know what I mean. They that. don't know. all right, the benefits. He said he had great benefits with his current job, that they wouldn't be probably as good with his private job. That's an added cost.
00:27:02
Speaker
Right. If your benefits aren't as good, means you're going to be coming out of pocket more for some of your expenses. Medical, dental, vision. You're going to be coming out of pocket more to make up for that difference.
00:27:15
Speaker
OK, that's first and foremost. They might not match your 401k like the city job does. So it means you've got to stack more away for your retirement.
00:27:27
Speaker
That's another thing. So when you start to break down, it's like it's an extra three grand a month. How much more is it truly? Because once again, you're jumping into another tax bracket. lot of people don't examine that. Like, oh, I'm going to be paying higher taxes.
00:27:43
Speaker
So you're thinking, I'm going to get extra three grand at that tax percentage that I was. Nope. Everything is getting taxed more. That was the funny thing about when our father hit that six figure income and he was like, what the hell?
00:27:57
Speaker
but Yeah, you hit another tax bracket. You get more taxes taken out. So when you factor in all these things and then the added stress of entering the private sector and no guarantee that you have job security as opposed to this other job, you know, you have job security.
00:28:12
Speaker
When you look at the totality of the presentation, you got to be like, well, stay where I'm at. But most people would look at the dollar amount and jump. yeah And it's like, take a step back and look at the entire picture.
00:28:25
Speaker
Money ain't everything. And also, I've learned, this is what I've learned. You can get an increase. That's a significant increase. yeah You can get an increase in pay and your life not change. What I mean by that is the more money you make.
00:28:43
Speaker
The more you're going to spend because you're like, I got more money. And you're going to find yourself financially in the same predicament you were in yeah before you got that increase. People think, yeah no, it's going to be life changing. It is. You'll be able to do more things. But your day to day finances, you can be like, I make more money.
00:29:02
Speaker
Why am I broke? Because you're spending more. Yep. You might go the grocery store and not look at the prices of the debt chicken. You know, right you you might be like that from that cheapest pack.
00:29:13
Speaker
Yeah. You might not. You might be like, no, I'm just going grab this chicken because I got extra money. It's little things like that that add up that you don't even realize it. And you stuck in that same position that you were in before.
00:29:25
Speaker
More money, more problems is a real thing. Yeah. Comfort in life is what people should really be searching for. Not more money. If you can get more money and comfort in life, beautiful, but comfort in life first.
00:29:38
Speaker
Yeah. So at the end of the day, you know, it's like you said, you got to look at the total compensation package. It's not just the salary. It's the salary and the benefits. So you have to look at the total compensation package. Does it really balance out in the end?
00:29:54
Speaker
Like, especially if right now you with your you know city insurance, you don't have a copay. But with the or you is less taken out of your check to pay for that insurance.
00:30:08
Speaker
You know, whereas in this new job is more taking out your check with a copay. And now you got you got to, you know, hire deductible, all this stuff.
00:30:19
Speaker
Like you got to look at the total compensation package. Look at the number of PTO hours you get compared to the you know, got look at the total compensation package and see, OK, is it offset somewhere? Is that thirty eight thousand offset somewhere?
00:30:38
Speaker
So, yeah, I would look at the entire thing. I don't know how old this person is. I think I looked through the comments and they said they were 28. So, it you know, now is a good time for you to take risks and stuff. But it also is i know it's a lot of people in the comments were saying, oh, you're young. Now's the time to take risks. But it's also the time to be thinking of forward thinking about your retirement.
00:31:03
Speaker
And what you want to do after you're working. Now's the time you really need to be thinking about that and getting started on that. So, is yeah, you can job hop when you're young. You can take more risks. But also you still need to be thinking about what are you going to do when this time is over? Will you have the money to do the things that you want to do on retirement? So I don't know. I kind of feel like you might want to stay with that city job. That's just me.
00:31:28
Speaker
I agree. Stay with that city job, homie. it's Bank that paper, have that security. yeah And then and if something changes where you got to, you know, have a family or something like that, private companies will always be there.
00:31:43
Speaker
Yes. But a city job is hard to get. Damn so right.
00:31:57
Speaker
This last segment, we're going to do a YouTube exclusive and an After Hours Uncensored. And in the After Hours Uncensored, my sister tells me like it is. Check it out. Jay, have you ever...
00:32:11
Speaker
been in a group project, whether it was in school or work, and there's a reward at the end when you finish the project for school or work, right?
Reddit Scenario: Bonus Sharing Dispute
00:32:22
Speaker
Yeah. Maybe it's a bonus, right, for work. Maybe it's a bonus or a good grade. And you've done the majority of the work, and other people, you've had to kind of pull along. u We've all been there on both sides of the coin.
00:32:35
Speaker
Yes. This Reddit poster asked a question that I think is important to answer. And he asked, am I the jerk for refusing to split my bonus with my coworker who did barely any work?
00:32:50
Speaker
And if I just gave you the title, what do you think? You absolutely are not. No. No. So i agree. But let's hear what this poster has to say.
00:33:01
Speaker
okay I work in sales and our team just crushed our quarterly targets, like absolutely destroyed them. I can tell this person works in sales just by their vernacular. Right.
00:33:12
Speaker
Absolutely destroyed them. Just crushed them. All right. yeah My personal contributions were massive. I landed three major clients that basically saved our department's entire quarter.
00:33:23
Speaker
My coworker, let's call her Jenny, did the absolute minimum. She missed meetings, didn't follow up on leads, and basically coasted while the rest of us worked our asses off. Now our boss announced bonuses.
00:33:35
Speaker
I'm getting a some na ah substantial chunk. We're talking nearly 15K. Jenny comes to me and suggests we split the bonus 50-50 because we're a team. Excuse me?
00:33:46
Speaker
ah flat out told her no. Explain exactly how much work I put in compared to her contributions. She called me selfish. Said I'm destroying team morale. My girlfriend says I should have been more diplomatic.
00:33:58
Speaker
Some work friends think I'm being harsh. But seriously, what should I give away half of my bonus when she did nothing? Am I the jerk? No, what?
00:34:09
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. listen, first of all, that's not how bonuses work. Your boss had HR, write out a check to you and it it was given to you.
00:34:23
Speaker
Like that is your bonus. If she did not receive anything, it's because she did not earn it. And so the whole thing about we're a team,
00:34:35
Speaker
Perfect, i great, do me a favor. Send me PDF where you write down my contribution and your contribution.
00:34:48
Speaker
I want to see if they're 50-50. You write down what I did, write down what you did, and you show me in the data.
00:34:59
Speaker
I'm a data scientist, so this is my thing. You show me in the data where we worked as a 50-50 team. Show me. Because if you can't,
00:35:11
Speaker
Girl. but Get out my damn face. So for my job, I get quarterly bonuses and i have people that work under me and sometimes they go above and beyond what I ask them to do.
00:35:29
Speaker
Or I ask for, say for instance, we have a yoga class. i I'll tell you one story and I'm sure she wouldn't mind me sharing this. I won't get the specifics, but We had a yoga instructor who was nine months pregnant.
00:35:45
Speaker
And I'm talking to her every day like, Like, when you done? Because i don't want to do downward dog and a baby pop out. it's Right. I'm like, when are you done? Yeah. I'm okay. I'm okay. Like, are you sure? Okay. Don't push, you know. like I mean, push when the time is right. Right, right. Not now. Yeah, yeah. So, one, there's a there was a Saturday morning yoga class. It was like 9 or 10 o'clock in the morning, right, that the yoga class takes place.
00:36:13
Speaker
I get a phone call Friday night from that Saturday morning yoga instructor. Actually, was Saturday morning at 3 a.m. saying that they were sick. They were drunk. I later fired them.
00:36:23
Speaker
They were hungover and fired them saying that they couldn't do the class. I sent out a mass text message to all the yoga instructors at 6 a.m. Can anybody cover this class in the next three hours or else I'm going to have to cancel it?
00:36:38
Speaker
The pregnant yoga instructor responded back immediately, I can do it. I said, are you sure? Because again, like, no no, no, I got you. Don't worry about it. When I got my bonus,
00:36:51
Speaker
I gave her a really nice Christmas bonus from my own personal money because even though she went above and beyond for the company, she did it for me.
00:37:05
Speaker
Yeah. I benefited from it.
Team Dynamics and Workplace Diplomacy
00:37:07
Speaker
So in that regard, yeah, I'm going to take a little bit of the money that I got and give you a gift because You deserve it.
00:37:17
Speaker
In this situation, we a team and you ain't do your part. Right. Hell no, I ain't giving you no money. and In this situation, I'm not your employer.
00:37:28
Speaker
Right. I'm your peer. Our employer already divvied up the bonuses. If you have a problem, you need to take it up with our boss. Right, right.
00:37:39
Speaker
Like, that's not my issue. First of all, get out my pocket. Get out my pocket. That's number Well, I got an odd feeling. judging by this person's. Yeah, I was about to say that.
00:37:52
Speaker
Totally crushed it. Nearly 15K bonus. Like can destroyed. Like I can see them definitely telling people about what's in their pocket.
00:38:04
Speaker
Yeah. But. First of all, stay out my pocket. And then second of all, yeah, if you have a problem, you need to bring it up with HR. But show me, show me where you have earned 50-50. Show me.
00:38:17
Speaker
and I'm still not going give you nothing because this is, again, my bonus. I i don't see why I have to share my bonus. But show me. Show me. It's just an exercise. I would like to see that.
00:38:31
Speaker
Not only that, but, yo, I got to start questioning my girl. Because, like, his girl was like, I think you should be more diplomatic. What? You realize that I'm over the world. I'm the one doing all the work, right? Why why are you...
00:38:47
Speaker
trying to even play the middle or close to the middle. She wrong on this. Yeah. and i mean And the other co-workers talking about, I don't know, like, nah, everybody. Nah, the other co-workers said he's being harsh and his girlfriend said he needed to be more diplomatic. That means his answer to her was, fuck, Jenny kicked rocks.
00:39:07
Speaker
I crushed it. You're a loser. her that Like that to me is like how I'm hearing him in my head. You're hearing them like the whyr the the was it the wine mixer from old school. No, Step Brothers.
00:39:20
Speaker
The Catalina Wine Mixer. Wine Mixer. I'm exactly picturing the brother on Step Brothers. Yes. For the freaking Catalina Wine Mixer. But yeah, that's how I'm picturing it. So if everybody is saying you should have been more diplomatic, you shouldn't have been as harsh.
00:39:35
Speaker
No one's saying you should have shared. they're saying you're being harsh. So you're probably being the jerk in your delivery, but not in what the and the content of what you're saying.
00:39:47
Speaker
No, she doesn't deserve half of your bonus, but you also don't need to be a dick about it. so I think she's being a dick for asking for half of my bonus. So why can't I be a dick in response?
00:40:01
Speaker
Energy match energy. I think... After, if you responded diplomatically and then and then she calls you selfish, then go ahead and match that energy.
00:40:14
Speaker
But if your energy coming in was already like, whatever, one man show, that you know lot of you know, and then you and then you get called selfish and you're destroying team morale and blah, blah, blah.
00:40:28
Speaker
Yeah. and even Even if that's the response and you did respond diplomatically, she's saying i'm you're selfish and you're destroying morale. My retort would be, one, send me that PDF.
00:40:41
Speaker
Send me that PDF outlining where it's 50-50. And when you see that it's not 50-50, when you see that I did outperform you, just know that the person destroying morale is you because you're not contributing to the level the rest of us are.
00:40:59
Speaker
I'm not the problem here you are but my guess is his delivery was trash yeah so are you the jerk sir a little a little in your response because I can tell by the way you wrote this you're kind of a douche you're probably good at your job yeah but you're kind of a douche But at the same time, she crazes hell to be asking for a 50-50 split.
00:41:26
Speaker
So you're not a jerk. And you're not a jerk for denying that 50-50 split. But I bet you're a jerk by the way you responded. Because your girl was like, you probably should been a little bit more diplomatic, which means that she deal with you all the time. But ladies and gentlemen, was he a jerk?
00:41:42
Speaker
Was he not a jerk? Is he a douche? that Leave your comment down in the comment section and we're going to get at you.
00:41:52
Speaker
I just want point out, and and we need to address this. This has been the elephant the room.
Sibling Critique and Communication Styles
00:41:57
Speaker
The last couple of weeks, you've been calling me out a lot. You've been like, there you go again, thinking about yourself and thinking about how you perceive it and thinking that you're always right.
00:42:09
Speaker
And let's be clear. I be right the majority of the time, okay? even Even when I'm coming in from my standpoint, I be right the majority of the time.
00:42:21
Speaker
And I be right all the time. So because of that. No, you're not right all the time. No, but I mean, I feel like, you know, people, if I love you, I'm going to let you know. You've been doing it a lot lately. You've been doing it a lot lately.
00:42:38
Speaker
I wouldn't call it out if you ain't been doing it a lot. Yes, I bring up situations that deal with me, but I'm bringing, I'm always bringing the example. and it's ah it's a micro level but i'm talking about a macro conversation i always bring it back so when i was talking about how i don't want somebody dictating to me in a relationship i'm saying it at large i don't think people should be able to dictate to other people in a relationship voice their concerns dictate as if
00:43:14
Speaker
you youre yeah And it has specifically a negative connotation to it. You're using the word dictate. Like they're ordering you around and they and you you there come you're completely blameless, right? And they're ordering you around and forcing you and that there's no compromise.
00:43:36
Speaker
That's not what's happening. like I feel like that's what happened. That's not what's happening. And because you see it that way, you're going have some problems. No, I saw that scenario as that guy. He was dictating to her, you're not going to be friends with your homegirl because she out here cheating.
00:43:54
Speaker
And i was like, I don't agree with that. I feel like the right so the right thing that for him to do is like, look, I'm going be real honest. With your friend moving like that, I don't feel comfortable about how y'all are friends.
00:44:10
Speaker
I don't have a problem with him doing that. I have a problem with him saying, you shouldn't be hanging out with this person anymore. Well, don't tell me what the fuck to do. What's the difference between the two scenarios?
00:44:22
Speaker
ah so why night It sounds like one is you just want the person to passively say something that you could ignore. i know I don't think you should be friends with this person. Okay, I hear what you think, and I'm going to ignore it because you're not going dictate to me.
00:44:42
Speaker
No, no, no, no, no. You would not receive it either way. Either way it was said. No, because I've been in this situation before. When somebody says to me, hey, this is how I feel about this situation. These are the concerns that I have. Mm-hmm.
00:45:00
Speaker
I hear that a lot differently than, um don't think you should do this. i don't think you should do that. i hear I hear it. I hear it. I've had people, when they approach me, so to me, everything is how you approach me.
00:45:13
Speaker
Words matter. So if I'm in that situation and I say, hey, look, I know this your friend. for This how I would approach it. this your I know this has been your friend for a long time.
00:45:24
Speaker
That's your homie. I get it. But your homie is living foul. And I think the company that you keep says something. I'm not going to tell you that I don't think you should be.
00:45:36
Speaker
I'm not going to tell you to not be friends with this person anymore. But I don't know if it's a good idea for you to be friends with this person anymore because you could get wrapped up in that that bullshit that she got going on.
00:45:48
Speaker
That's how I would approach the situation, which to me, a person might receive that completely different than you shouldn't be friends with this person anymore. Don't be friends with this person anymore. Yeah, one of them explained their reasoning and one didn't didn't go in to deeply explain their reasoning and give all the sides. and up but No, sometimes people just need to hear, hey, no, don't do that. now No, some sometimes people need to hear, no, don't do that.
00:46:21
Speaker
Case in point. Okay. Case in point, I was out with two friends. One of my friends gets a little lit. The other one said, you're not driving home. Went, grabbed a blanket, put them on the couch.
00:46:35
Speaker
They didn't give them and opportunity to say, hey, you know, i know you want to go home, but I don't think, I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but I think you might be too drunk to drive home.
00:46:51
Speaker
And I think that you should stay here, but I'm not gonna tell you what to do. No, sometimes people need to hear, go and kick your shoes off and get comfortable on this couch, because you're not going nowhere.
00:47:03
Speaker
i hear you. I just have more, very, my, I the diplomatic approach. You want your hand held through situations. No, no, no, no. You want diplomacy. You want negotiation. You want to feel like, you want to feel like the choice is yours.
00:47:19
Speaker
um And obviously the choice is yours, right? Hold on. You're talking about like, if it's coming from me, I'm talking about hi how I, if it's coming from you, I'm talking about how I direct people in that scenario.
00:47:31
Speaker
Cause I've been in that scenario, what you just said. I'd be like, Hey, look, don't think a good idea for you to be driving. If they're not hearing me, I'm like, no, you're not going to drive. I'm going to give up. I'm going come in soft originally so that they hear me.
00:47:44
Speaker
And if they don't hear me, then I'm like, no No, you just don't like wasted energy. It's one energy. And maybe she's the same.
00:47:55
Speaker
They know each other. Yeah, you're right. They know each other. Maybe she's the same. And her her thing is like, cut to the chase. You don't have to give me all this flowering language. What you trying to say?
00:48:06
Speaker
You want people to walk you through a situation. I don't need that. Just tell me, Jonna, don't do that. That's dumb. And I was like, yeah, you're right.
00:48:17
Speaker
Sometimes. Didn't think of it that way. I don't need, but I don't need. Sometimes you do need. Yeah, no, that's not true. Sometimes you do need walking through it because I've done it with you before. You've done it and it works mine in my mind. I'm like, I know this is how Bruce talks.
00:48:33
Speaker
So I'm going to sit through it, but I really wish he would get to the point. And sometimes I do say, hey, get to the point.
00:48:45
Speaker
What is that? and then How many times have I said to you, hey, you didn't need to say all that. You could have make somebody job just me. power You didn't need to give me a whole paragraph exm explanation.
00:48:57
Speaker
OK, I was literally talking to a friend of mine the other day. About consideration. Yes. Am I overly consider? i I was explaining to them. I was like, I might be the issue because nobody else moves like I do.
00:49:11
Speaker
And they were like, I move like you do. And I was like, that's the reason why we're friends. And he was like, I get what you're saying. It's about consideration. What you're yeah doing is giving consideration because you hope that they would give consideration to you as well.
00:49:24
Speaker
but you're giving your version of consideration. For me, being considerate is not wasting my time by saying a whole bunch of stuff when you really could just say this one sentence. you make Sometimes you got to understand.
00:49:36
Speaker
You made me read a whole text paragraph and really all you had to do was just ask the question at the bottom. I don't remember what it was. I don't remember what it was either. But I was like, hey, you could have just said it Can we do this at 11?
00:49:49
Speaker
You could have just said that. step I don't find it considerate making me read a whole bunch. You read fast. That's not the point. this is it it you You are operating again from your version of what you think is right. I think explanations are good.
00:50:11
Speaker
No. I feel like when you over explain you hadn't something. No.
00:50:18
Speaker
and When you well, no. OK, I get that. there you I do get that. why Why are you coming home so late? All right. So check it out. No, I get it. Yeah, so I get it. Yeah, I get that. The consideration would be I never had to ask you in the first place why are you coming home so late.
00:50:35
Speaker
The consideration would have been you called me beforehand and say, hey, I'm going to be late. You don't have to give me a whole bunch of explanation. I don't need all of that. But you gave me a heads up. That's the consideration for me.
00:50:48
Speaker
um Not the whole explanation when you get back. Yeah, okay. I hear what you're saying. yeah I hear what you're saying. makes some sense sometimes. ah All I'm asking you to do is is just like take a step outside of yourself and think about how is this person receiving it?
00:51:10
Speaker
Yeah, don't be knowing how people receive it. All I know is how you receive it. Right, because I say something. Hope you enjoyed those YouTube exclusive and After Hours Uncensored sneak peeks.
00:51:21
Speaker
Remember, you can get all of our YouTube exclusives on our YouTube page. You can get our After Hours Uncensored on our YouTube membership or our Patreon channel. Guys, if you have any questions, just go to the website at unsolicitperspectives.com.
00:51:37
Speaker
There answers all the questions where you can get all of our content. But I want to thank you for listening. I want to thank you for watching. And until next time, as always, I'll holler.
00:51:52
Speaker
That was a hell of a show. Thank you for rocking with us here on Unsolicited Perspectives with Bruce Anthony. Now before you go, don't forget to follow, subscribe, like, comment, and share our podcast wherever you're listening or watching it to it. Pass it along to your friends. If you enjoy it, that means the people that you rock will will enjoy it also. So share the wealth, share the knowledge, share the noise.
00:52:15
Speaker
And for all those people that say, well, I don't have a YouTube. If you have a Gmail account, you have a YouTube. Subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can actually watch our video podcast and YouTube exclusive content. But the real party is on our Patreon page. After Hours Uncensored and Talk is Straight-ish. After Hours Uncensored is another show with my sister.
00:52:34
Speaker
And once again, the key word there is uncensored. Those who are exclusively on our Patreon page, jump onto our website at unsolicitedperspective.com for all things us. That's where you can get all of our audio, video, our blogs, and even buy our merch. And if you really feel generous and want to help us out, you can donate on our donations page. Donations go strictly to improving our software and hardware so we can keep giving you guys good content that you can clearly listen to and that you can clearly see. So any donation would be appreciative. Most importantly, I want to say thank you.
00:53:09
Speaker
Thank you. Thank you for listening and watching and supporting us. And I'll catch you next time. Audi 5000. Peace.