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Fitness Disorders
72 Plays5 years ago
K and I discuss some challenges in the fitness space that can lead to 'fitness disorders'. Fitness is obviously something that improves and saves lives. But there is a darker side to it.
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Transcript
Introduction and Greetings
00:00:04
Speaker
Hello. Hello. Hold on a second. Riley, are you going to say hello? All right. Just everybody's got to get their positions here. Now we're back. Now we're good. So what have we got today?
The Role of Morning Routines
00:00:25
Speaker
Well, we are usual, ironically enough, going off of the routines. One of our little routines is that in the morning,
00:00:34
Speaker
We like to have coffee and chat. We do. And I think we try to prioritize that. So even if you're going to move, you try to move. Before. Yeah, before. Usually. Because that's a really good time for us to, sometimes we don't have that much other time to sit down and just connect like that. The day can get busy. And we really appreciate, I think for us, we're trying to appreciate
00:01:01
Speaker
the days when we couldn't sit down and have a cup of coffee. Coffee's kind of been our thing. So one of the things that came up, I think it was yesterday. Yeah, well, yeah, I would agree.
Fitness Portrayal on Instagram
00:01:12
Speaker
we were talking about um you're scrolling or i was having maybe a rough morning and going down the rabbit hole of like i don't think there was any scrolling i think no no i guess we weren't but we were talking about scrolling you're talking about when you're on instagram and when you hit the search and like how oh right like when i go to my little search thing
00:01:35
Speaker
all of a sudden now it's just even more crazy with all I see is abs, women, abs, just like, and it's not even like their traditional like fitness models. They're just like what appears to be the average person who's now just like super fit doing like an Instagram famous person. I don't know, but I mean, it makes it look like, Oh, it's,
00:02:03
Speaker
You know, so it's not like Giselle Buncheon, right? A picture of her magazine. It's not like someone you would expect, like, okay, this is actually a fitness model. It's these homegrown people. But the point being, we got into a discussion about that and we thought it was valuable to.
00:02:21
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I gotta be honest.
Fitness Models and Social Media Pressure
00:02:26
Speaker
I feel like the fitness model landscape is like turning into a soft porn industry. And what do you mean by that? Like how, um, there's a difference between being like, okay, so like games athletes, it's like, damn, like,
00:02:48
Speaker
They're super fit. They're super lean. They're doing a sport. Like they're doing clean jerks. They're on sandbags, whatever. They look like some kind of Greek gods and goddesses. Yeah. And I get it. Like that's okay. That's sport. Yeah. And then I understand like, all right, when you have a more commercial like shoot, that's going to be different than like you in sport. Right. A shot of someone doing these. So you're promoting whatever it might be. You're promoting.
00:03:16
Speaker
However, I think that the overwhelming majority, from what I see, which I try not to see too much, is just like crazy, seductive, self objectifying, really, really provocative shots where it's like, I mean, where's the end of this? At what point is it going to be like,
00:03:43
Speaker
Like a games athlete, we've seen a couple games athletes in their like underwear and I'm not even sure what the point of the post is. It's really just an excuse to be in your underwear. I just I don't know. I'm all for expression and acceptance, obviously. And I think that I'm certainly not a prude when it comes to like, fuck it, I don't care. You want to be like, I don't really give a shit.
00:04:06
Speaker
The problem that I have with it is that it creates this, it creates, I think it creates this really fucked up relationship with just what you have to do to be taken seriously. Like you couldn't, like, why do you have to have no clothes on promoting CBD oil?
00:04:31
Speaker
Well, not to be taken seriously, but just to get the attention. I mean, we've done, you know, it's a very objective thing. If I look through my Instagram pictures where I'm in a sports bra doing a workout, how many likes or views that gets versus a picture of my journal. Right. Of course. Yeah, I know. And that's like,
00:04:54
Speaker
Because it sells. And I get it. And I guess the thing is, and then we went sort of down this rabbit hole, but there's, I feel like there's an arms race for attention.
Balancing Authenticity and Commercial Demands
00:05:10
Speaker
And it's just like the noise is so high right now. The tactics are refined and just being blasted at people.
00:05:25
Speaker
and that is like sensitizing or desensitizing to like what is maybe real or it's it's really violating trust and
00:05:39
Speaker
What do you mean by that? Violating trust? Like all of the I don't know Maybe this is my own cynicism and my own insecurity being a small business owner of a Online company and so I've been very open and about on this like how do you promote and and also say like hey I
00:05:59
Speaker
I, what I have has a shitload of value and there's a cost associated with it. Like how do you sell in a way that you feel good about and all of that? Because let's be honest, like if I don't, if we don't sell our value or our services, we cannot sustain our life. And so. Do you think if you were to take your shirt off?
00:06:22
Speaker
have some of the pictures like you have pictures of you in training like with shooting like cool cool bad pictures from the military yeah yeah
00:06:31
Speaker
Do you think of that was, do you think that sells more? Yeah. So do you think more people would, now what's interesting is would the right people find your product? I don't know, but I don't, but that, but do you, but the question is, are you willing to do that? Like if I, I, the irony is so strange though, cause like I could probably sell more women's things if I took off more of my clothes and it's like, but it's talking about becoming more confident and acceptance. So why am I going to take off my clothes to get people who want to be like, it's just this,
00:07:01
Speaker
Yeah, I think that sure I could yeah I could post all these crazy pictures that no one's ever seen before and all this and all of that and look how cool I am and Fucking all this and it's like but why but but but I also think that that doesn't Like I was actually thinking about putting a post up that has me behind a sniper rifle and all this crazy stuff Being like you shouldn't listen to me because of this picture
Impact of Objectification in Fitness Culture
00:07:24
Speaker
Like if you're listening to me because you what you see You're wrong. Yeah, and and so, you know and you know the whole getting the likes thing and I don't really care I think that getting the emails and I you know got one last week of like, hey just wanted to send to thank you that You in between years have changed my life in a very very real way, right? It's like man and then I you know anyway, so there's that I Guess when we were gonna pull it back to like the fitness stuff. Yeah
00:07:55
Speaker
there is a just a really toxic landscape that exists because of objectifying and judging based on appearance that's also being like there's just gasoline added to the fire which is uh
00:08:17
Speaker
Well, I don't know. I guess whatever these sort of pictures are looking like.
Mental Health and Instagram Perfection
00:08:22
Speaker
And then the worst part is people think, Oh, I need to do that. I need to look like that. And you know, it looks like it's the norm. Everybody apparently looks like that. Well, if you don't look like a Greek goddess or a Greek God.
00:08:36
Speaker
Or whatever Then like you must be doing something wrong or like that's what the target should be Yeah, you're always less than you're always less than yeah, and I think that When
00:08:53
Speaker
Yeah, no, I don't know. I guess is it. So it's just like, okay, we'll stop, stop being on Instagram. It's like, yeah, right. For sure. But you can also curate an Instagram thing that can provide you amazing value. There's some accounts out there that put out super informative things. That's kind of what we hope to do and like really provide value. Our Instagram isn't all bad. No, but what, but the, but the rush for attention and to get your attention, um, and the game that's played and that whole system and that just programming. I mean, it is like brave new world stuff.
00:09:23
Speaker
And I think we, I, I won't put you in that category. Like I, I would be lying if I didn't say if I, like when I do a video or a selfie or whatever that I don't consider, like, what do I look like? Again, I've put up videos, you know, I put one up today or whatever where I didn't edit it. I didn't do anything. I just talked into it. When I posted it, I was like, Hey, but
00:09:47
Speaker
But there is that thought, like there's that awareness. So we're, I feel like most people are susceptible to like that awareness. Like I'm putting myself out there. Do I look okay? Yeah. I mean, I guess it's just like the 21st century social media landscape of advertisement. And I just,
00:10:10
Speaker
But the difference is advertisement used to be in its own category. Like advertisement was a industry, an industry and there were models and there were specific people and they manipulate things and it was contained. Now advertisement is, it's like applied to every home, every person in every single scenario. Everybody's their own model, their own art director, their own filters, like all these things. And that's where it's like so strange. And so I think,
00:10:40
Speaker
Um, yeah, looking at Instagram as an example, when you see all those people and then, you know, do they really look like that? I mean, we've talked about this before who, who knows and who cares. Um, but it is manipulative.
00:10:57
Speaker
People have no idea what they're looking at. And I think that that's just the thing. And where I also am concerned about people's mental health is that, one, you don't know what you're looking at. I've posted pictures where I'm sure it's like, oh man, people might think, oh, you got your shit together. It's like, no, no, no, I've been in a fucking hole. But you didn't know that. Because maybe I was like, OK, whatever.
00:11:24
Speaker
But then I think the other side to it is the violation of the trust where it's like, right, I'm just being fucking sold to all the time. So as somebody who's trying to navigate this landscape with integrity by delivering value in a way that
Maintaining Authenticity Amidst Doubt
00:11:41
Speaker
also is mutually beneficial, what the fuck do you do? If the people that you're trying to reach are just being prodded and prodded and sold to and violated the trust, because the people that have the funds and the companies that spend 40 grand a month on the ads, which you go on YouTube, you search for how do I become a better cook,
00:12:09
Speaker
You get some ad that's whatever person, famous person telling you, and then all of a sudden you go on Instagram and go, oh, there it is. So like you can't escape. You're in this. You're in the matrix of it all. And so that breaks the system, the cynicism of being closed off of fuck that you're, what you're telling me is too good to be true. I'm tired of being sold it. I don't want to this and that. And for me, it's like, that's sad.
00:12:39
Speaker
But don't you think there's also, I don't know if cynicism is the right word, but even when people are trying to tell you their truth, like I am struggling or whatever, it's you still almost read it like it's a ploy.
00:12:53
Speaker
There's always an angle. Right. Yeah, I know. And so it's like, how do you cultivate authenticity and be honest? Because there's always that like people waiting for like, so you're telling me this and then what do you want? Yeah, what's the hope? Sure. Okay. Yeah. Really?
Evaluating Actions Over Character
00:13:09
Speaker
Yeah. You're struggling. I bet. I mean, I think people probably look at your stuff and have a hard time believing like, are you really struggling? You know, um,
00:13:18
Speaker
Or same with me or same with I I follow people who are very honest about their struggles But they still look amazing. They look like they have their shit together and that's on me but because of all that it's hard to Buy in yeah, you always have your like it's impossible to not judge and this was one of the things that I wrote wrote about in the journal guide and
00:13:45
Speaker
Yeah, and one of them was not judging we talked about it on the between years call which is which was timely the difference between judging and evaluating mm-hmm and like What is the difference? Yeah, so when you're evaluating you're assessing a performance an external thing an action Hey, you know, how well did this person? execute this task
00:14:09
Speaker
So like in sports, someone's trying out, you're evaluating. How well, how, how well does this, let's say soccer, how well is, how good is this person's first touch? Meaning when the ball first comes to them, does it bounce off their foot, like a brick wall, or does it, where do they catch it? Like a net and they're like, Oh man, the guy's got Velcro on. How fast are they? How, whatever, whatever.
00:14:32
Speaker
The judgment would be like, is this person a good human being? Or that person's first touch is like not good, they're a shit bag. And for across the coaches, that's where, you know, when I remember when I would like work level ones and talk to people in the gym is with, you know, obviously with our coaches who are, you know, light years ahead of a new coach, been doing a long time.
00:14:57
Speaker
It's like you can't judge the character of somebody because they mute their fucking hip on a push press Right because they don't still understand what yeah because they don't get it now I get it if it's like you have a what about that person who shaves reps and range of motion Yeah, I get it. There's gonna be those people of course Do they even know like we kicked the guy off of my ODA and
00:15:22
Speaker
And it took so much. The dude was a threat to us. And it was like, what did you do to get him better versus just passing the buck to the next team? So evaluating somebody's kettlebell swing was being like, hey, I think we can keep our back flatter.
00:15:42
Speaker
Extend our legs more, be a bit more aggressive, not squat as much, whatever. Right. Versus being like, this person doesn't want to get better than I'm trying. Can you believe it? You know, can you fucking believe it? This person, like, what an asshole. What a shitbag. I've told them many times. And it's like, that's, that's just... They're two are totally unrelated. They're completely unrelated. And so... And so your point in the between the ears stuff and with the journaling is we do that to ourselves. Well, yeah. We're... Way more than other people. Way more. And if it's just like, look, evaluate your actions. Yes.
00:16:11
Speaker
don't judge your character based on it. Because it's the wrong way. Now, if you want to go like the active mindset, it would be, yes, have your character drive your action. But then it's like you can't then that's what you're that's what you're anchoring to. Because if the action and if the task if it fails from like a I didn't have a good first touch of my kettlebell swing stock that we're just going with that. But it was a representation, a display of who you are and your character and what you believe your inner beliefs.
00:16:41
Speaker
then then how then there's no failure.
Fitness Obsession and Mental Health
00:16:44
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. You know, and it's just like, Hey, maybe we can get a little bit better. So right. And that's where, you know, in fitness and we just ironically had a call and we're talking about kind of movement as an expression. And obviously that's between the ears and this isn't a,
00:17:06
Speaker
It's not you, you know, it's, it's, it's something that exists in not just your opinion or someone else's opinion or something you guys created, but like it's phys physiology, like the body and the nervous system and all these things. So just to that, that making your movements about trying to come from a place of like, yeah, maybe this, maybe you're not going to lock out in your push press because that's not maybe
00:17:36
Speaker
what you're expressing that day. Is that lockout going to be driving your fitness for that day? That same notion of the task, sure, you could lock out every single shoulder press.
00:17:54
Speaker
but have a shitty workout. And what was the point of that workout? Because it wasn't really an expression of everything. So which is really the important thing. And then you're going to judge that person because they didn't lock out their arm. It's kind of a loop. Yeah. Well, and then I think what we were talking about yesterday was just having a fitness disorder. Right. So then that's the other thing. So that kind of went into, sorry if that was a long-winded way to get to, wow, really? You're going to do that, huh?
00:18:24
Speaker
You've been making all kinds of noises eating.
00:18:29
Speaker
Yeah, but not into a recorded podcast. You slurped once. Anyway, so yes. So like the whole, yeah, your relationship to fitness and what that does and drives it. And, and you know, you had said you coined it like having a fitness disorder, you know, eating disorder, gambling, like all of these devices, all of these things. And so I think, unfortunately,
00:18:56
Speaker
So what is the fitness disorder? What does that breed? Having the objective be to look a certain way and then you miss the entire process because all you're thinking is, did this get me there? My interpretation of a fitness disorder would be something that is right off the bat unhealthy body and mind. Okay.
00:19:22
Speaker
with the blow to the mind being more serious. You know, blow to the body might be over-training, might be... Right, probably if you're doing fitness, you're...
00:19:35
Speaker
you're at least being healthy. You're not like. Yeah. But then there could be like, you look at then, okay, what you're, you know, eating habits or if you're going to do drugs and stuff like that. Yeah, that's true. But you know, there's, there's certainly like the physical thing, but the, but the mental and emotional component of it is far more detrimental. And what's scary about it, again, going back to the way we started talking about it is you don't see that. You see this well sculpted, smiling package.
00:20:06
Speaker
And you don't see the, the, the bars that they live their life from
Personal Motivation in Fitness
00:20:10
Speaker
behind. Well, and, and I think, and I don't like doing like the name thing, even though it was public, one of one of the games athletes who's who'd been in the games as an individual and a team, um, one of the best teams, um, after she stopped competing, she had quite a bit of posts about accepting herself over outside of that. And while that's at the highest level for sure.
00:20:36
Speaker
you know, okay, you are a games athlete. I think there are a lot of people that experience that without even being a games athlete, just their relationship to fitness is, is so much about the objective and who they are, that that's the disorder for sure. Um, and so then you see the happy pictures of that athlete super lean or winning the, the CrossFit games or whatever these things are.
00:21:03
Speaker
And many of them don't express that openly, like, Hey, here, these are my struggles. Um, but even Julie Foucher on our call was talking about like the mental gymnastics about everything you're eating. And is this going to help me? And sure, that's a professional athlete, but there's a lot of normal everyday people and fitness is supposed to be this vehicle to improve your life who are putting themselves in a prison because of what they think they should be.
00:21:33
Speaker
Right. Yeah. And I think, I think when it's like having a fitness disorder, I think a lot of it, I would always trace it back to like, just not really having an, an internally generated reason that's, that's like personal. If it's like, here's what I would say. Most people in my experience,
00:22:03
Speaker
as coaching, co-owning a gym, having a lot of friends and people who have, you know, being in CrossFit for however many over a decade. What has happened recently has been people doing things, people doing more workouts, not because they want to get fitter, not because it's something that they
00:22:32
Speaker
are really actually getting value from. It's kind of this like fucked up game and this story that I'm being like someone else.
00:22:45
Speaker
or this addiction. If I do this, I'm like that. Yeah. And I think that that is. For an addiction, yeah. Yeah, for sure an addiction. For sure an addiction. I mean, without, I mean, and I experienced this too, without movement in a day, movement can be great and it's a positive, but if I can't go a day without, if, you know, doing some kind of movement and that changes my whole mood,
00:23:12
Speaker
I don't know that that's really great. Workouts should not say who you are. Just because you did four workouts in a day doesn't mean you are filling the line. Well, like I said, it's not a game where you're accumulating widgets to equal this. If I do this, then that means I'm that. Yeah, and if you take something away,
00:23:40
Speaker
And you can't live like, and if you go crazy, cause it's like, well, who am I without it? We have to examine that. Yeah. Like you really have to examine that now. Right. That's the definition of an addiction. Well, sure. Right. Yeah. And so, you know, this whole quarantine thing, I think has also been.
00:23:59
Speaker
uh, probably eye-opening for many folks with their relationship to fitness. And look, obviously fitness is an amazing thing and we have gyms and train people. Like that's, and it's a, I feel ridiculous even having to defend the value of fitness, but it's also a very, very potent thing that has chemical
00:24:27
Speaker
responses as that drive also how
Balancing Fitness Identity
00:24:31
Speaker
you experience life and we have to look at that and Yeah, like there's a lot of there's a lot of disordered thinking when it comes to I'm just gonna do another workout I'm gonna do this or you know, I'll fit the gym is my therapy. It's fucking not your therapy. It's the exact opposite from a Therapeutic step but now you can feel better but you can feel better shooting heroin as well and
00:24:55
Speaker
Yeah, but I think there is a connection there like we talked about with you can have an expression and you and I have had great workouts where it is an expression or it can be like, okay, I'm going to really get after this thing or I'm going to go out for a long run and allow myself to think or there can be tie ins too.
00:25:15
Speaker
It's not this like separate entity that exists. Of course not. And obviously nothing is like, what I'm saying is not like black or white. It's like, if you have, you have to go to therapy, like that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that if it's leaned on to be more than what it really is, like if you're saying fitness is my therapy, right now it's, and that's how you're overcoming something, then, then, then I'm happy for you. I really am, but it's,
00:25:45
Speaker
That is a very, very slippery slope and you are running the gauntlet. Maybe you got to the other side. Cause when you get out of it and I'll be the first one to tell you and I'll be the first one to say like, yeah, forever. Fitness and movement in the gym and working out and training and all of that. That was how I built my identity. And guess what? That comes to that. Like you come, you get to the end of the road at some point because it, if it distracts you from truly who you are,
00:26:16
Speaker
then it's not serving you. Right. And so that's, I guess, the thing. And of course, like having a staying physically fit, doing things you enjoy doing, challenge and adversity and all of that is, you know, great learning lessons and the gym provides a proven ground for life. And I know 100% that, but
00:26:43
Speaker
But you're saying just as a... But a disorder. Right. It's like saying, like, well, you have an eating disorder, so don't eat, like, or, you know, the eating thing. You know what I mean? Like... Right. You can, you can, yeah, you can enjoy having a cake or ice cream here and there. That doesn't mean you're a sugar addict. Exactly. It's the difference of, yeah, you're... And I think that's where to kind of go back to what we're saying is,
00:27:06
Speaker
the image that's portrayed is look at these happy people who are working out all the time. Like this is filling them up. This is like, look at how great everything is for them. Look at how great they look. Look how casual their relationship is with, you know, I was saying to you the other day, what really like for me personally in the space of like women, what bothers me or I think is such a lie is the, um,
00:27:34
Speaker
is the notion that like, it's not only like these fitness models, so they look amazing. They've got to lean their abs, they're working out. But then they're also like so, lackadaisically enjoying like a burger or ice cream or like they're just so, life is just so breezy for them. They look great. They're not hung up about their nutrition. They're just like loving life. And then that creates some people like, oh, I shouldn't be, I shouldn't,
00:28:05
Speaker
Meanwhile, like you don't know what they're eating or what they're doing or how their relationship is, but it sets up this unrealistic presence like, OK, now I should look amazing, have always want to work out, love, you know, fitness and be very relaxed about my food and not get hung up about it. And it's just like it really like on so many levels just beats people down in terms of like what they should or what the norm is.
00:28:35
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And I think that, you know, I kind of want to make it clear that like I'm not criticizing people who work out multiple times a day
Self-Awareness in Fitness Goals
00:28:46
Speaker
and train hard and have ambitious goals and like the process and the training and journey. I get all of that. That's been my entire life. I understand it.
00:28:56
Speaker
What I'm encouraging people to do is just to reexamine some of the drivers behind what they're doing. Not just look at what I'm doing. Like how and why. Those are going to be more important than what. And certainly more important than how much. And so, for example, if you're doing a race, and I think there's a lot of value to saying like, hey, I'm going to do maybe a race or I'm going to do a workout or a competition or some sort of,
00:29:23
Speaker
some sort of experience that you're going to sort of step into the arena for and train for and have that process. Yeah. I advocate for that. I think that's great. And you're going to learn everything you've ever learned before you get to the start point. But if you're just going for a time, but everything is just about like, I'm going to beat or beat this person. Yeah. Yeah. Or like, and there's somebody who, um, there's, there's, there's, you know, one of, one of my clients in between the ears right now,
00:29:54
Speaker
was training for a fucking giant race. It didn't end the way he wanted it to. But like, he's not a failure as a human being because of that. And if he did finish, and squeaked by the finish line or whatever,
00:30:14
Speaker
and didn't actually learn what he learned as a result of not finishing, then I would submit that that's a bigger failure. Right. Well, that's the form versus essence stuff too. Yeah. And so looking at.
00:30:31
Speaker
Like take the time to reconnect with why you're doing it and the other thing and that I think is really important is like When you find it and do connect to it get ready because you're gonna go better. You're gonna you're gonna reach another level and That that's again for my thing especially with mindset like getting back to that your own belief. I've done some crazy shit super challenging stuff and it wasn't
00:30:56
Speaker
And it was really because it was it was very, very personal. And and for what it was now, is that going to be every single day? Like, no, of course not. So I think the thing you're saying, too, is, yeah, when you find that like real why you're doing it, it's so much stronger of a driver than this feeling of like I should. And as we said, that's an inauthentic. Yeah. And I guess that's and I guess that's a good way to like really
00:31:25
Speaker
make it clear of you're all right there yeah of if you're constantly saying you should go to the gym you should work out you should go harder you should eat better you should if you're constantly saying that right
00:31:48
Speaker
You have a fucking fitness disorder. I'm sorry. Like somebody needs to have that conversation with you. And I will be the person to say, Hey, why are you doing this? Like you should, I should have done this or I could have done this. Well, you didn't. Yeah. Like what's going on? And, and I think that,
00:32:07
Speaker
Well don't you think the shoulds in that case with fitness is because of the comparison to everybody else and that's where we've said like there can be such a power in the community and that's one of the as we've seen like the positives of like CrossFit it's like there is that community but it can also really if you're not anchored to your why and your how it can be a total distraction and you can get carried away with
00:32:34
Speaker
I mean, what does it matter? And I'm guilty. I mean, and I can talk about this from my own experience. There's been times where I'm doing a workout. That's what I think I need. And you're doing something
Dangers of Comparison in Fitness
00:32:44
Speaker
else. And because I do feel like I have that addiction to like that high and I see you like just drop from like a sled push or something really hard. I feel like I should, I should be doing that. So just, but at least I know now to say like, okay, I recognize that that's not.
00:33:00
Speaker
Correct, but like but that's where that space of other people It's so important when you're training with other people to be able to know where you start and stop and other people you know without a doubt and there's a spectrum because training with others is going to all your Most people are gonna be able to push harder, right because of other people there's so much value out of that Especially when it's it's the time to push harder. Yeah
00:33:28
Speaker
When you pushing harder is 180 degrees away from honoring what you truly need and listening to yourself and building that internal trust.
00:33:41
Speaker
then that's where we get into problems. And so, unfortunately, when we're always around people, or we have things to compare ourselves to, if who you are is based off of your comparison to someone else, then what happens when someone else gets removed? Then you no longer exist. And that is the, that's the pitfall that like,
00:34:05
Speaker
that's the pitfall really and that's the disorder where it's like well who the fuck am I and and that can be sure that can be in fitness that's in veteran transitions um people that have worked year decades at a job and then all of a sudden they get fired and it's like
00:34:24
Speaker
Well, who am, like, what am I going to do? Or who am I? Or, you know, and it's like, yeah, because that has consumed so much of your identity. And if you get on that train of not connecting with who you are continually, not maybe every day, but like, but, but you have to check in continually. Understanding you are going to change.
00:34:49
Speaker
That's, that's like, that's, that's a rough one. And I look, I mean, and I've been there before as well. Like I should do this. I should do that. I didn't do enough, the comparison, the should, the enough, the scarcity, all of it. But like.
00:35:07
Speaker
If you don't, if you, if you don't think you have, if you don't think you're ever giving it enough or doing the right thing, you're always falling short. Yeah. Then like we have to look at like, what is happening? Because it's also like, so if you're always like, no, I didn't, whatever that target is and you're always falling short of it, you, you just need to, your target is not about you. You need to shift the target over, you know, I mean, it seems obvious, but like,
00:35:36
Speaker
you're shooting for something that is just not within maybe your capability right now. Do you know what I mean? If it's based on somebody else and it's also like a self-deprecating thing, why would you want to always keep feeling like, of course there's some days where like, Oh man, you know, I was really hoping for this and I didn't quite do that. And that gets into like,
00:35:55
Speaker
your best effort and all that stuff. But if your target is someone else and that's where looking at other people are setting that goal. That's where when we talk about data, it's such a trap. So it's like, what does it matter if I say you 10 rounds is what you should get. Now there's obviously like the discussion of stimulus and stuff like that, but now you kind of like set this arbitrary number.
00:36:19
Speaker
And every time I come to the gym, I never quite make the right numbers. I'm always bad. I'm always failing at it. It's like
00:36:27
Speaker
How is that healthy? And that's where it's like removing that data because it doesn't really matter. Eight rounds, nine rounds, 10 rounds. And being able to achieve. I mean, that's where some of the people we used to have that modified class that was only, it was for people who maybe from an injury or maybe they were a little bit older, but like the workout was already pre-modified.
Personalizing Fitness Journeys
00:36:51
Speaker
And I always found it like so interesting that like that mattered to them.
00:36:56
Speaker
because they didn't have to scale down. They were doing what was already established. Yeah. And I can get that. But I also think like that's where there's that learning opportunity to say like, it doesn't really matter. But that's made up. Right. But that's also where the psychological like we can the psychology of it all. Yeah. It's a game. Yeah. And if if we come in, we say I'm scaling that workout down. Therefore, I'm less than.
00:37:26
Speaker
Mm-hmm
00:37:28
Speaker
Like, we're not, we're using an external thing to, an external validation to, to tell us who we are. That's just not, that's just not, that's not the truth in my mind. Capital T. If you're like, if someone comes in and they're like, a, my hamstrings feel like they're going to snap. Cause I did stiff legged dead moves the other day and it's a box jump kettlebell swing workout.
00:37:58
Speaker
And they're like, uh, my hamstrings feel like they're going to snap. They're going to snap. Would you mind if I maybe bike and do pushups? That person should be celebrated. Or if they're like, Hey, can I just do step ups? I want to kind of like, this is what, this is what I've got going on. This is what I'm going to do. Like that person is actually celebrated. Do you think that's allowed? Well, I can't speak for any other gym. Yeah.
00:38:26
Speaker
I've heard horror stories. I've absolutely heard horror stories. Yeah. And that's where I think it's just for people to be aware. And that's, I think, one of the positives is people love their gym, they love their communities, but not to be afraid to, you're in charge of you, not a coach. No. Coach, their support and guide. That's it. And I think that there's the fine line, too, between
00:38:54
Speaker
Okay. Just tell me what to do. Like, cause I get that and I want some of that too. Like, just fucking tell me what to do. I'm tired of making up my own decisions. Right. Needing guidance. Yeah. Needing guidance and like, Hey, I don't know this. I don't study the body. I don't, I wasn't an athlete. Like, so of course there's like, Hey, do this. And then there's always the time of like, somebody that's really doesn't know. And it's just like, look, just do this. Like, can I get that? But.
00:39:21
Speaker
But still like, I think that there's a room, I think there's room to serve and follow up with those people and be like, Hey, just to let you know, proud of you for doing that. Here's, here's why. And this is why it's a good thing, you know, from like a coach's standpoint. Um, and I think it's the same with nutrition. I mean, and obviously like that's also in the Instagram world of.
Questioning Fitness Rules
00:39:44
Speaker
You know, that's one of the other major things, but, um, you know, that's, we've talked about this too, but like the game of the numbers and this arbitrary, this like made up, you know, I've talked about like breaking the streak, you know, and like the comparison and so-and-so doesn't eat ice cream or they don't eat sugar and all of that. And, and you don't know anything about,
00:40:12
Speaker
Yeah. And I guess it's like the way I'm just sort of visualizing it is always going to, and I think maybe we said this on the last one or the one before or whatever, but like, what are you so afraid that not doing something is going to say about you?
00:40:31
Speaker
that perhaps you don't have the voice, the active voice within yourself to really say who you are, which would override and overcome that non-action. And so,
00:40:47
Speaker
I just think that with the disorders with the fitness disorder. Yeah, it's a false I mean, and I'll me doing a workout me not doing a workout. Then the voices like I'm lazy. I'm where I need this workout to feel better to like just feel good today. And that's that's even almost worse than saying like you're lazy because you can look at
00:41:12
Speaker
No, these objective things I do, so I don't think I'm lazy rationally, and I think we talked about this. But when you really feel like, no, I need this to function,
00:41:22
Speaker
that's kind of a bigger problem. I mean, like, oh, I, if I, if I, and I think this is a huge one, especially for women, like if I have this ice cream, I've lost control. I'm not in control anymore. And like, really? Like, is that, does that ice cream or that decision to have one bowl of ice cream a week really reflect that you have no control over your life?
00:41:50
Speaker
And then the opposite, like the false sense of control because you didn't have ice cream. That doesn't mean that you have control of your life either, just cause you've turned down dessert for 21 days. Man. Yeah. That's a, I mean, I think that's a deep one.
00:42:10
Speaker
Yeah. I feel like you just told me that I fucked up. Well, you are. I've stumped you. No, I agree. I'm just saying the, um, yeah. Like we put up these, we, we, we create these rules. Yes. Okay. We create these rules. I feel like that's a podcast, the made up rules. Yeah. And they're completely made up and we buy into them as absolute truth.
00:42:40
Speaker
And then we assign them value. For example, I didn't eat ice cream for 21 days in a row. That same person, and I don't know, maybe I'll just be the bad guy in this one.
Inner Strength and Mental Toughness
00:43:00
Speaker
You still probably hate your body.
00:43:04
Speaker
Right. Me not eating the ice cream didn't, wasn't like for those 21 days, I was looking at myself every day thinking like, yes, you are amazing. Right. There was a still a problem. Right. People that train. They're not good enough after doing 10 workouts. They're not good enough. They're not good enough. Yeah. They're still weak. Right. People that
00:43:29
Speaker
whatever financial stuff, like they don't have enough. Like that's the thing. It's like you're the disorder is that you as a human being, there's conflict. And I think that one of my passions and talents is to
00:43:52
Speaker
work with people to build that inner strength so that they can find that inner peace. And that's where it comes from.
00:44:02
Speaker
And I get it. That can sound really woo woo. And another, I can sound cliche, but yeah, but the saddest thing, but, but right. But like, and I guess the thing is, is like, well, do you want to be at fucking war with yourself the rest of your life? That's no place to live. You're that's, I'm sorry, unless you're actually at war survival.
00:44:31
Speaker
is not, should not be the gold standard. But the other thing is, I think what's interesting about the inner strength, I, you know, and looking at it like it's a lie that like, if for me to say like, no, I, and that's where it gets into the like men mental toughness. No, but I have inner strength because I have, I'm a mentally tough person and I will work out two days, two times a day for 10 days in a row.
00:44:56
Speaker
and not eat an ounce of sugar. I am mentally tough and I have inner strength. But at the same time, it's like, no, I'm a mess. I don't like how I look. My workouts are never good enough. I never am satisfied. So it's like, so inner strength is really like irrelevant of the situation. If I couldn't work out for a week, if there was a birthday party and I decided to enjoy having ice cream, like, do I still have self-acceptance? Like, and that's kind of a
00:45:26
Speaker
a surface kind of thing, but inner strength being irrelevant of when all things are going the right way or some external thing. That's inner strength, not like I did 10 workouts in a day. I've got my inner strength is, is having a real connection and a true belief into who you are.
00:45:53
Speaker
and then what's inner peace, the ability to just onboard that and be an acceptance of it.
00:45:59
Speaker
Yeah, inner peace would not be defeating yourself, would not be telling yourself you're not enough, would not be the self-judgment, the shame. It's not absent of negativity, but it's not being at war with yourself. That constant turmoil I think is... And I think people experience that in all kinds of things, their job, I'm not good enough with my job, or whatever those things are.
00:46:28
Speaker
I think if you ask most people, yeah, the sound of like coming to terms, like not being at odds with yourself. I mean, that's what more could we want. Yeah. And the whole mental toughness thing. So if, if you were to come to me and say no, and I would be like, Hey, do you think you're mentally tough? And you're to say, yeah, I would say, okay, well, why do you think that? You'd be like, well, I've worked out twice a day.
00:46:59
Speaker
taking rest days here or there for a full year have had no added sugar haven't had a single cheat meal for all intents and purposes I've been dialed in and like perfection I would make you pound fucking ice cream and cookies and not work out then show me how mentally tough you are and that's what I mean like irrelevant of this situation like it's easy to be
00:47:30
Speaker
It's easy when those things are what you want to do and you need them for your disorder. It's when it's like, E, but this is going to call into question like who I am as a person now because I'm going to eat sugar, which has nothing to do with that. And can you still do that and be accepting of
External Validation vs. Internal Beliefs
00:47:46
Speaker
yourself? Right. Because I think that the toughness comes about with adversity. And so being an inner thing, and I think that's like my whole
00:47:56
Speaker
My whole issue with the mental toughness is that it's it's it's Validated through external action and it's of course Actions are what we see but from where is that action coming? Yeah
00:48:12
Speaker
Cause if you come and I'm like, wow, you're, you know, in, in, yes, in assessing you, you are like, eyes are wide open. Your jaw is clenched. You don't let me finish a sentence. You have an answer for everything. The thought of I don't know is literally never crossed your mind. You're talking about me. It's like, okay.
00:48:38
Speaker
Like wound super tight hold like you're white knuckling everything There's some inner turmoil going on and it's not to say that I'm gonna go unglue that and like shake it up and be like haha See I proved to you like it's not that it's just saying like and and you might be able to say like alright great Yeah, and and be okay with it and if you say this is great. This is the best ice cream I've ever had and I
00:49:04
Speaker
feels nice not to work from the gym and I'm good. Like, yes, then you showed me your mental stuff. It's not to say that if you eat the ice cream and you don't work out, then you're going to fucking crumble. It's like, it's like, just, let's just look at it from where is the source coming from?
00:49:17
Speaker
And that's what to, to the disorder. Typically we see that in our group. Sure. People can have disorders with other things, but fitness and food, that's kind of where that disorder stems from and that wrong association with being tough. And so then when you have an injury or when people stop, you know, competing, like all of these people are like, wow, they're so tough. And then that gets pulled and they've got nothing and they're a lifeless shell.
00:49:45
Speaker
It's like, okay, that's those two things. It can, people, there are plenty of, I'm sure games athletes or people, I mean, I would say like Julie Foucher, great example. She had that injury and like, I remember her, how she conducted herself. I mean, obviously it's a really disappointed.
00:50:03
Speaker
But she wasn't like a shell of a human after that. I would submit like, yes, she's an athlete who probably has, I hate that word, but like mental toughness and was able to apply that to become to her athleticism, but was not a
Growth Through Adversity
00:50:18
Speaker
barren wasteland. Well, you're not saying, but right. And for sure. And it wasn't, she, in my mind, and so the image I just now screams to mind or comes to the service with Julie is handstand walking like a fucking Olympic gymnast.
00:50:33
Speaker
with a goddamn boot on. It wasn't that, in my mind, the mental toughness was not that she did that shit unbroken, was that she, how she handled herself with grace and pure emotion to actually step up and start and say, I'm going to kick up and, you know, look, she might, it wasn't the task completion, the end result, the finality of it. It was who she expressed as like, that was who she truly was. And it's like,
00:51:02
Speaker
That's the authenticity element. It might mean that you win with this crazy injury. It's not like that is very well the thing. You might succeed. That's great. You're not like you always have to fall short. No, of course not. And yeah, like that's been a major challenge for me, a major fucking challenge. I went from being a Green Beret.
00:51:26
Speaker
to not knowing what the fuck I'm going to do in life. Yeah, I get it. I like I understand it. And to this day, I still struggle last night. Yesterday, I had like I got really overwhelmed with some business stuff. And I was like. And then, of course, you know where you go. There's that inner conflict and sure, some conflict can drive some stuff and stress drives adaptation, whatever, but like.
00:51:56
Speaker
I guess I feel really passionate about this because it is 100% shoulder to shoulder with folks. And I think that I don't know more or less than anybody, but I do know that my experiences have been extremely
00:52:17
Speaker
Uh, I guess powerful or enlightening, uh, and challenging and hard. And then it's like, okay, let me try to understand this and see some patterns or see some things and understand the body and the brain and all this. And, um, you know, and I had a buddy reach out and was like, yeah, man, when we stop, we die. And it's like, does it have to be like that? Yeah. You know, I get it at a certain point, but like I'm 30.
00:52:42
Speaker
However, I don't even know how old I am. But like, yeah. That's another example of, I mean, sure, we start out time with fitness disorders, but I'm sure there's a, there's a military disorder. You know, I mean, that's the thing is like a huge one. Right. So there's a huge one. It's kind of identifying. I think that's the bigger thing, even if, you know, sure. Some people might not have a fitness disorder, but looking at like, where's that disorder thinking? Where's the inner turmoil? And,
00:53:07
Speaker
It doesn't mean that we're broken like the worst thing you know part of human existence is having the inner turmoil I mean that there is the there is that in anybody that wants to
00:53:23
Speaker
grow or be better. Like I think that's inherent in life, but it's just trying to navigate it and learn from it and not just kind of be paralyzed by it because a lot of people are. So, yeah. So I guess for this next week, when you work out, a little assignment,
00:53:48
Speaker
I thought you were making me eat ice cream and not work out for Sunday. I'm getting out of town. I'm going on vacation when that happens. Can't go anywhere right now. I can go into the backyard and sleep under the bushes. Um, for the next week, before you work out, check in with what your
00:54:14
Speaker
thinking and how you're feeling. Why are you working out? And it doesn't have to be some thesis, right? Just like, and it might be like, yeah, I feel good. I want to like, and hopefully you enjoy working out. After, you know, so you do the workout, you pay attention. Afterwards, you're going to journal about a cell, like you're going to celebrate something that you did during the workout.
00:54:45
Speaker
that was like a win or that was that you're proud of kind of in line with why you were doing it or in line with why you're doing it. But again, trying not to get into the trap of I'm really proud that I did 10 unbroken pull ups. Like no one cares. Right. Or I didn't put the kettlebell down. That might be the case, right? If the energy behind it, if the intention behind it was I wanted to see how I performed,
00:55:12
Speaker
And when I hit that point of doubt or struggle, I checked in with it with myself. It was like, okay, you know, be you. Yeah. Okay. Awesome. Yeah. I like that.
Fitness as Personal Expression
00:55:22
Speaker
That's cool. You know, but find something that you're proud of from a place within yourself. Yeah. That came up and do that every single workout.
00:55:37
Speaker
and like a little bit of a teacher's hint kind of thing. If it's always because you performed the reps or the data or that.
00:55:52
Speaker
Go back and do it again. The last thing is this morning I did a workout and really didn't like think too much about it, wanted to work out, wasn't putting so much weight into like, what am I going to do? Should it be this, should it be that? And like just did it. And there wasn't a lot of like, um, it wasn't my workout. There wasn't a lot of clarity and like, it was just very like this many rounds of this and this. And so it was up to me to interpret like how much weight and how to do this. And there was kettlebell swings in it.
00:56:20
Speaker
And one of the things for me has been, and it is sort of an external thing, but, but like you're saying, where it's coming from is internal. Like I started doing swings overhead with a lightweight and I'm like, you know what, this isn't really, that's going to just be me like surviving this thing and just blowing up my breathing.
00:56:39
Speaker
I was like, I'm going to go with like a Russian swing, which previously for me, like I never even did that because it didn't feel like enough work or it wasn't the right thing. It was the easy one. It was the easier version. Yeah. And I like moved to that and I'd already done one round. It wasn't like I just start over like the made up rules. Like in the past, I would have been like, you already started. So you were going to do 10 rounds.
00:57:01
Speaker
I was going to 10 rounds and I started out thinking, okay, it's a full on swing overhead with one poo. Yeah. I did one round. I'm like, I don't think that's the regular 20 swings. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. My God. Well, I mean, let me tell them claws back. Anyway, 10 rounds of 20 swings. So I was thinking, okay, light kettlebell overhead. Sure. Did one round and was like, that's not really.
00:57:31
Speaker
Like that gut feeling of like, that's not, I feel like if I continue that, it's just going to be checking boxes. Why? What do you mean by that? Just like I'm surviving. I'm holding onto it. I'm broken for 20 swings overhead. My heart rate's super high. I'm just kind of throwing it up there. And I was like, I feel like doing a heavier swing, but like Russian.
00:57:51
Speaker
from a physical standpoint, like I get more out of like my hamstrings, my glutes, like, and I can like control my breathing a little bit and be aggressive and whatever. And so I switched over in round two. Wow. Okay. So two things there. One in the past, I really would have like started over because it doesn't count. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. I would have been like, is that okay? Am I allowed? And it was like, who fucking cares? According to who, like I can make my own rules, my own,
00:58:21
Speaker
experience up because of what I would like to get out of this moving today. So while it was kind of an external thing about where the kettlebell ended up, it was coming from a place of like, there wasn't that pressure of like, doing it the right way. You know, it was more about just what was I looking to get out of moving today and seeking that out.
00:58:46
Speaker
What? Why are you laughing and smiling? I'm smiling. But you don't, you, you hear, do you see a pattern where you'll like smile sometimes when I say something and then I say, why are you laughing or smiling? And you say, I'm smiling. I see you're smiling, but there's like, it's not like a smile, like. Okay. You want to, you want to know the truth? Yes. I'm smiling because I feel like that's very relatable to a lot of people and
00:59:14
Speaker
It is a honesty that I appreciate and I hope is not, it's easy to, I think, joke about it and say you're a fucking crazy cat. But it's like, man, I've been there before where it's like you fall start of the clock or whatever, or there's these things. And it's just a great example of like,
00:59:40
Speaker
what, like we're missing the point. And so I'm smiling because I don't know. Like in the, well, I do know in the past, yeah, you wouldn't have just been like, okay, this is what I'm doing now and do it. Same thing with like, here's the ice cream. I'm being lazy. I'm trying to do less. I would have made it something personal. It would have been like, it would have been this whole, this whole crazy thing. And like, it might sound ridiculous that we actually care this much about working out.
01:00:11
Speaker
But the workout is just like the canvas that we paint, that we show that we paint ourselves upon. So I'm proud of you for recognizing that one, this was what you sort of needed or this was the state or the intention you kind of connected to what you needed. I'm proud of you for not
01:00:34
Speaker
penalizing yourself with the bullshit made up rules and And sharing that and so, you know, that's that's why I'm smiling All right, who's the workout? 10 rounds Five sandbag cleans not over the shoulder but like just powerfully power clean which Don't just tell me what's what's the workout just say 10 rounds five sandbag power cleans. Uh-huh 20 kettlebell swings
01:01:04
Speaker
It actually said five sandbag cleans, 20 swings. And similarly with the cleans, I was like, I always go over the shoulder. Yeah. It's kind of annoying to have to like control it up and stop with the rack. And I'm like, okay, but I would like to get that, like, get the movement. I kind of get it done when it's over the shoulder and I have to like think about it a little more if it's like to the rack. So it was like, all right, I'm going to do it that way and be present.
01:01:34
Speaker
Yeah. So it was good. I liked, I liked, um, I like sandbag cleans, like a power, more of like a muscle clean, frankly, than over the shoulder. I think they're, they're good. Nice. All righty. Okay. So there's your homework. 10 rounds. Yeah, but you have to do it again, except not fuck up the first round. I'm going to go do it again now because
01:02:02
Speaker
Well, I mean, you literally did a workout three times in one day before. So I know. And that, and I did. That's like talk about this. Yeah. And I was really honest. I laid on my back after I did it the second time for third time and said out loud to myself in the garage, what the fuck is wrong with you? Now it wasn't a super destructive workout. I don't think I have calves actually because I don't know how they weren't sore, but
01:02:27
Speaker
What's funny about that, and this is, I think we should just stop it and we talk offline about it because it'll go on forever. But I don't know if that was really about the task. What do you mean? Like, you know, I did that one workout. I, uh, my shoelace came untied, so I had to lose my shoe and I'm like, that was kind of annoying. Like it was sort of this annoying external thing that like got in the way of me wanting to like do this workout. So then the second time I did it.
01:02:58
Speaker
and I fucked up the numbers. And it was one of those workouts that we were submitting for whatever. And I guess it just kind of bothered me more internally. And am I saying I'm not, okay, I wanna do hard workouts, but I'm not gonna do a five minute workout again.
01:03:15
Speaker
So I don't know, I don't think it's always a cut and dry, but yes, I think that was more on my crazy side. Like why it had to mean so much. Like it, I think where it took a turn was I was really going to have a hard time letting it go. And like, that's weird. Like, like I should have been able to say like, yeah, I could see how that, but for now I'm just going to go with the first score. My shoe came untied, whatever. And I, it was like, I was making it about something bigger about myself and it was just a workout.
01:03:43
Speaker
Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've only redone one CrossFit open workout ever. Well, that's true. I care so much that I don't care. And it was, I don't know, four years ago now at this point.
01:04:02
Speaker
It was the year of the dumbbells. The dumbbell lunge. The lunges. And I was kind of surprised. And then you kind of. Well, I thought. I think I thought it was like a 16 minute workout. That's why I didn't do better at that concert. Just let me finish my story.
01:04:21
Speaker
I think it was like a 16 minute workout. Lunges, maybe bar muscle ups were in there or total bar, total bar and bar muscle up because I just looked it up recently. Yeah, it was a bunch of lunges, whatever. And, um, no, I don't think it was that one. Okay. There were lunges and total bar. There was lunges and I think maybe some sort of dumbbell clean situation. Anyway.
01:04:49
Speaker
I thought it was like 16 minute workout and it was something where like if you didn't finish the lunges or whatever, then like that rep didn't count. And I looked up and I'm like, it was like 15, you know, 57 and I quit with like three seconds left because I knew like it would have taken me.
01:05:06
Speaker
I did. I did quit and I knew that it would have taken me like I wasn't going to get a single five foot increment. So I was like, what the fuck? So I picked up the I picked up the dumbbells and like kind of put the show on of like, OK, at least I'm trying, but I wasn't really trying. And then I looked at the I guess maybe the judge or whatever the clock I was like, what the fuck's happening? They're like, you still got two minutes. Go, go, go.
01:05:28
Speaker
Like you're doing great. And I was like, Oh, motherfucker. Yeah. So finished the workout and was like, that's not, that's like no bueno. But that's what I mean. That was 45 minutes later, did it again. And as I recall, what do you recall? There was a problem. There was a problem. I did it again because yeah, I know. Whatever.
01:05:52
Speaker
I did it again because, and I said to myself, but this is the thing about the first one was about the reps, which is, which is understandable in a, in the open. I did it again. The second one saying, look, I'm going to be present and I'm going to be who I am, who is somebody who
01:06:12
Speaker
Yeah. Like I'm not going to quit because I'm not going to get that extra little fee. Like I want to be what I feel is an accurate representation of who I am, which is hardworking, like, Hey, and you know what? You're going to fail sometimes. It's okay, but you're going to try. You're just not going to not try. So I did that workout again, 45 minutes later and did more, not trying to do more. I also fucked my knee up. I remember.
01:06:45
Speaker
Call a little ding. All right, that's enough. That's it. That's fine. It's been a long episode. If people are still listening, goodbye.