Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
The Truth about the Self-Help Stuff - Episode 11
14 Plays5 years ago
I got a spiel on the whole self-help stuff on this episode. Dropping some real insights into this matter so make sure you listen in.BECOME A PATRONHey guys, if you enjoy my work then you can support it with as little as $2 (one time or monthly). It goes towards paying for equipment, time, all my comedy work including the podcasts, youtube videos and live events I do and MOST IMPORTANTLY towards my family. Help me feed my baby here:https://www.patreon.com/join/salmanzq?
Recommended
Transcript
Naming Challenges and Overthinking
00:00:14
Speaker
Hey guys, welcome back to the Expat Brat Podcast.
00:00:18
Speaker
I've just realized after doing a few episodes that saying Expat Brat kind of fast is a tongue twister and maybe I should have given some thought to the name.
00:00:27
Speaker
I don't know.
00:00:27
Speaker
I don't know.
00:00:28
Speaker
People, people, there's this side of me that if I start thinking too much, I would still be planning the name, right?
00:00:36
Speaker
Because all these pieces on the news, they just kind of go,
00:00:40
Speaker
oh you got you know names important your business name's important your branding is important and i i don't know i think sometimes it's just afterwards you know it was a good thing like i know i'm hey i'm just rattling off today because i just got loads on my mind and i i don't know uh welcome to the show i haven't even welcomed you guys to the show
00:01:02
Speaker
Well, I was saying I was saying about these name things and like Google, right?
Success Stories: Seen and Unseen
00:01:06
Speaker
They had some other name planned and then it was like a accident, a misspell or something.
00:01:12
Speaker
And they ended up with Google.
00:01:14
Speaker
And if they had gone with the other name, I think it was Goggle or whatever it was.
00:01:17
Speaker
We would have thought that's a great name because now we all use it.
00:01:20
Speaker
It's all hindsight, isn't it?
00:01:23
Speaker
I think it's bullshit all this success stories and stuff are hard to believe sometimes because so much of it is hindsight.
00:01:29
Speaker
And so many of the people telling you success stories are people who've made it, but there are loads on the way who didn't, right?
00:01:35
Speaker
So what about those people?
00:01:38
Speaker
Where are they?
00:01:38
Speaker
Where are their stories?
00:01:40
Speaker
What happened to them?
00:01:41
Speaker
I want to know what happened to them and what did they do wrong?
00:01:44
Speaker
Because they might have done some of the same stuff.
Beyond Self-Help: What Truly Works?
00:01:47
Speaker
I think that's, you know what?
00:01:48
Speaker
It's math I want to do.
00:01:49
Speaker
I want to take the successful people's stories.
00:01:52
Speaker
I want to take the people who failed in spite of having talent or whatever, putting in the same amount of hard work, and then kind of do a plus and minus equals.
00:02:02
Speaker
This is what's left.
00:02:03
Speaker
So I'm distilling things.
00:02:04
Speaker
the facts for you so we figure out what the hell actually helps you succeed because i'm tired of reading self-help books i'm tired of reading you know listening to self-help podcasts and whatnot i think all of us do it don't we and we kind of have the same kind of information rehashed over and over and over again i think we were done back around the time of what was it um the very first book
00:02:28
Speaker
How to Win Friends and Influence People.
00:02:30
Speaker
If you haven't read that, that's the first self-help book that I know in pop culture.
00:02:34
Speaker
That was sort of the first one that became popular.
00:02:38
Speaker
I think in modern times, it was The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People.
00:02:43
Speaker
Those were peaks, man.
00:02:44
Speaker
We're done.
00:02:46
Speaker
We are done with whatever we could think of.
00:02:48
Speaker
Everybody else is sharing the same kind of bullshit.
00:02:52
Speaker
And I like it.
00:02:53
Speaker
Look, the problem with it is it's motivating sometimes.
00:02:57
Speaker
Like I was listening to some comics and their stories and it's motivating.
00:03:02
Speaker
But I'm also thinking these are the ones who made it.
00:03:05
Speaker
And they're talking about how they went on and did loads of shows and kept going at it.
00:03:09
Speaker
But I know loads of comics who did the same and didn't make it.
Redefining Success: Money, Fame, and Influence
00:03:14
Speaker
Right?
00:03:14
Speaker
If you go to the States, I don't know about other, you know, it's the most mature stand-up comedy market out there.
00:03:21
Speaker
If you went there, you'd see loads of comics who are putting in a lot of hard work and probably are talented and, you know, doing their thing day in, day out.
00:03:31
Speaker
And no one will ever have heard of them.
00:03:33
Speaker
Or they might just have like middling success, you know.
00:03:36
Speaker
And I'm talking about success and how it's measured in a very superficial way.
00:03:41
Speaker
Well, I say superficial.
00:03:43
Speaker
We say superficial.
00:03:44
Speaker
The people who haven't made it call it superficial.
00:03:47
Speaker
But it's just it's what we have, right?
00:03:49
Speaker
What we have is money.
00:03:51
Speaker
What we have is fame.
00:03:52
Speaker
You know, those are the two main things, I think.
00:03:55
Speaker
I think that's it.
00:03:55
Speaker
How else do you measure success in the modern world?
00:03:58
Speaker
age.
00:03:58
Speaker
Maybe a lot of good friends and family, right?
00:04:00
Speaker
If you want to be a little emotional about it and give it that nice little touch, then your family and friends.
00:04:05
Speaker
And I'm grateful.
00:04:06
Speaker
I think I'm successful in that area.
00:04:08
Speaker
Touch wood, touch wood, touch wood.
00:04:09
Speaker
And the thing is, those are the only two things you can measure success with because what it's actually measuring is freedom.
00:04:17
Speaker
When you have money and
00:04:19
Speaker
And when you have influence and reach, life does free up in a lot more ways.
00:04:23
Speaker
There's that old joke about crying in a Porsche or Ferrari is a little easier.
00:04:31
Speaker
And you get first world problems and whatnot.
00:04:33
Speaker
But I'd rather have those than, you know, when your basic needs are not being met.
00:04:38
Speaker
So here, that's the thing.
00:04:40
Speaker
That's why I think we measure it.
00:04:41
Speaker
So all those people saying, no, no, it's very superficial.
00:04:44
Speaker
I don't completely agree with you.
00:04:46
Speaker
We need people, we need good people with money and reach to do more good in the world.
00:04:52
Speaker
If you don't do it, if you don't go out and achieve things, then other people will.
00:04:57
Speaker
And they might not be the nice ones.
00:05:00
Speaker
Oh, my God.
00:05:00
Speaker
I sound a bit like, I know what I'm sounding.
00:05:02
Speaker
I'm sounding a bit like the people who go gun right advocates and go, you know, the good guys got to have them guns.
00:05:09
Speaker
But I think this is different.
00:05:12
Speaker
Oh, shit.
00:05:13
Speaker
I hope I'm not.
00:05:14
Speaker
Anyway, that's my point.
Motivational Speakers: Still Relevant?
00:05:16
Speaker
That's why we go out and, you know, these self, like Tony Robbins.
00:05:20
Speaker
How is he still filling up stadiums and stuff?
00:05:22
Speaker
Forget the controversies around it, right?
00:05:24
Speaker
Forget the allegations around it.
00:05:27
Speaker
He's written his book.
00:05:27
Speaker
He peaked in 1997.
00:05:30
Speaker
He peaked.
00:05:30
Speaker
He had that book.
00:05:32
Speaker
And I read that book and it was a good book and I get it.
00:05:35
Speaker
But after that, has he invented some kind of new self-help thing or we just want to feel good?
00:05:42
Speaker
And that's the problem.
00:05:44
Speaker
All these books make you feel good in the moment.
00:05:47
Speaker
And it's fine.
00:05:48
Speaker
I think it's fine because sometimes you need a pickup.
00:05:51
Speaker
You need some kind of motivation.
00:05:53
Speaker
You need to have some kind of hope because if we don't have hope, what are we living for?
Hope, Perseverance, and Happiness
00:05:58
Speaker
What's getting us out of our beds, right?
00:06:01
Speaker
But at the same time...
00:06:04
Speaker
I'm playing devil's advocate.
00:06:05
Speaker
I think it's a balance then.
00:06:07
Speaker
It's like you can't you can't for the negative people.
00:06:11
Speaker
But you can't go down the route of never wanting anything and never achieving anything or the fact that all these stories are bullshit.
00:06:19
Speaker
They're not.
00:06:19
Speaker
They did happen.
00:06:21
Speaker
And we, you know, we do have to a friend of mine who passed away.
00:06:25
Speaker
He he said one thing and we've got that on like a sign at the theater.
00:06:31
Speaker
I frequent or work with a lot for our playhouse.
00:06:35
Speaker
And we you know, it was a very simple phrase he said to someone and they remembered it and we've put it up.
00:06:41
Speaker
And all it says is keep keep fighting.
00:06:43
Speaker
Right.
00:06:44
Speaker
And he said that he said because there's no other choice.
00:06:48
Speaker
You can lie down and die.
00:06:53
Speaker
Oh, shit.
00:06:54
Speaker
Wrong choice of words.
00:06:54
Speaker
But you can lie down and take it or you get up and you keep fighting.
00:06:59
Speaker
And that's all it says.
00:07:00
Speaker
But those two words just resonate with me so much because it just inspires me.
00:07:06
Speaker
When I'm down, I just go, yeah, well, but there's no other choice.
00:07:11
Speaker
You got to get up and you got to do your thing.
00:07:13
Speaker
And you can only hope for the best.
00:07:15
Speaker
So this podcast episode wasn't about demotivating people.
00:07:21
Speaker
That's starting to sound like that.
00:07:22
Speaker
But rather just being aligned with some truths and balancing this.
00:07:29
Speaker
Oh, my God.
00:07:30
Speaker
You know what annoys me is at the far side of it are people who are too happy or too out of it.
00:07:37
Speaker
You know the kind I'm talking about.
00:07:38
Speaker
Like the ones who are like, everybody's going to make it and blah, blah, blah.
00:07:42
Speaker
And you just gotta be happy, happy.
00:07:44
Speaker
Like, oh, that's the worst thing people have put out there, the happy thing, you know?
00:07:50
Speaker
It's not a goal.
00:07:52
Speaker
It's not a constant feeling you can ever achieve.
00:07:55
Speaker
So you're gonna be happy in the moment.
00:07:58
Speaker
And then life happens, man.
00:08:00
Speaker
You can't be happy all the time.
00:08:02
Speaker
So that's a bullshit goal that you're trying to achieve.
00:08:06
Speaker
You got to have more happy moments.
00:08:09
Speaker
You got to be generally in a better place and better mood.
00:08:13
Speaker
And whatever that means to you, you got to go do that.
00:08:16
Speaker
But this happy thing just puts this picture of a person smiling cheek to cheek.
00:08:22
Speaker
And yeah, you know, it's a psycho kind of thing that makes me go...
00:08:27
Speaker
Stop it.
00:08:28
Speaker
Stop that shit.
00:08:30
Speaker
Stop smiling.
00:08:31
Speaker
I sound so bitter.
00:08:33
Speaker
I'm trying not to sound bitter.
00:08:34
Speaker
Okay.
00:08:35
Speaker
I'm trying to talk some truths here.
00:08:37
Speaker
All right.
00:08:37
Speaker
So that's me.
00:08:39
Speaker
I think too much.
00:08:41
Speaker
I think I think too much.
00:08:43
Speaker
And, you know, so to sum this shit up, I'm going to sum this up like it's a report which had a lot of research behind it.
00:08:53
Speaker
You got to keep doing your thing, but also know that that's not a guarantee that you'll be a millionaire or something.
00:09:00
Speaker
Because I don't know.
00:09:03
Speaker
That's the truth of it.
00:09:04
Speaker
Some people make it in that context and some people won't.
00:09:08
Speaker
But you don't have a choice.
00:09:09
Speaker
You don't know the future.
00:09:11
Speaker
You can't tell if you're not going to make it.
00:09:13
Speaker
And because of that stupid, I think that's why the world was created in a way that you can't know the future.
00:09:20
Speaker
Because if you did, you'd give up easier.
00:09:22
Speaker
Whereas because we don't know, we can always get up and hope.
00:09:27
Speaker
And yeah, it comes back to hope, keeping the hope alive, keep fighting.
00:09:31
Speaker
That's what we got to do every day, guys.
00:09:33
Speaker
This turned into a, as much as I hate those, I think this has turned into a self-help kind of episode today.
00:09:39
Speaker
I apologize for that.
00:09:41
Speaker
I'm not trying to be a personal development coach, although that's part of my work in a certain way.
00:09:47
Speaker
This was meant to be just fun stuff for me.
00:09:49
Speaker
I hope you enjoyed listening, guys.
00:09:51
Speaker
Take care of yourself.
00:09:52
Speaker
Speak to you guys soon.
00:09:53
Speaker
Take care.