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Generational Perspectives, Retail workers ALWAYS know what's in stock, and unintended Hiking results
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Gen Z vs Millenials vs Gen X: who had it better? Gabby and Diane discuss a new trend on TikTok where Gen Z is nostalgic for the childhood Millenials and Gen X had— one where technology, the internet, cell phones and social media didn’t dominate every day life. Gabby and Diane share hilarious stories about their younger days — think sneaky high school parties in the woods, clubbing in LA with celebrities, first jobs that didn’t go as planned, and Gabby shares one of her most mortifying moments (hint: the actual Christian Bale aka Batman was involved). Let’s get into it!
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Transcript
Generational Perspectives on Nostalgia
00:00:06
Speaker
Welcome back, guys, to another episode of Doorknob Confessions. I'm so excited to be here with you. Diane is here with us as well. And today you'll hear a little bit from producer Nick because we wanted to chat about the conversation.
00:00:21
Speaker
kind of generations and nostalgia and things like that. And we have kind of three generations present. So I am full on millennial. um Nick cusp of Gen X and millennial.
00:00:35
Speaker
And Diane is cusp of millennial and Gen Z. So we have like some some interesting different perspectives here. But welcome, welcome. How are you doing, Diane? I'm doing good. You know, I was like looking at the different generations and And they do say that people who are born from like 1996 to 1998 are kind of in like that limbo space. And I definitely resonate with that because I was not allowed to have a MySpace, although I really, really wanted one.
00:01:01
Speaker
And Facebook, I was also not allowed to have. i was a very sheltered child. I was not allowed on the internet at all. With the hindsight, you know, I totally agree with my mom on that. But as a middle school tween, I was very upset.
00:01:14
Speaker
Yeah, you feel like you're being like left out of like the things that other kids are doing.
Technology's Impact on Connection
00:01:19
Speaker
And like we were just saying that you know in like the 90s early 2000s, things just moved and changed so fast with the internet that you know it was kind of mind-blowing. Yeah.
00:01:31
Speaker
And I was mentioning that like, you know, I'm on TikTok all the time. I'm a TikTok at addict. And I've been seeing these posts that work that are really like, I mean, they make me laugh because I also I'm like, wait, like ah you guys didn't experience this necessarily. Like, and especially younger Gen Zers or mid even mid Gen Zers.
00:01:49
Speaker
But I see a lot of Gen Z posts about um this kind of nostalgia for, ah you know, the millennial being a teen in like, you know, the mid to late 2000s and like going to college from like, you know, around 2006, 2007 to like the early teens of the 2000s, because it was it was a time. It was a time you guys like we had a lot of fun. Yeah.
00:02:13
Speaker
Well, I think the lack of technology, I think it was just enough technology for everyone to be able to be so connected with one another, but also like not disconnected from themselves.
00:02:24
Speaker
And I think that was like the big, big key there. Yeah, yeah. Like I remember, you know, like when I was in middle school, the thing was AOL, like AIM, like AOL Instant Messenger. That was like what we had.
00:02:36
Speaker
And remember we would put like, we would go to school and like people you would never talk to in school, like the popular boy or whatever, like you could get on AIM and like you would have conversations with them. And then at school, they wouldn't even look at you.
00:02:49
Speaker
Like it was the most bizarre thing. Or you put like angsty, like lyrics to songs as your away message. my God. Yes. Yes. I remember like, okay, so I was flirting with this boy on aim and my mom found it. Cause I didn't know that they store all of your conversations in like a folder.
00:03:09
Speaker
And my mom found the folder and this woman printed these messages out. Like it was like a thick ass packet. i had never been more mortified in my life. It was just awful. Yeah.
00:03:22
Speaker
Wait, so what did she do with this? she was just like, look at what you've been messaging. and i was like, I'm sorry. I cried. That's so traumatizing.
00:03:34
Speaker
was like, just because you think you're grown doesn't mean you're actually grown. I got my, it was bad. I didn't get my ass physically beat, but it felt like a beating for sure. Yeah. Oh my God. No, that's so mortifying. Like printing, but printing out pages, like kudos to her for knowing even how to do that. I don't even know that I know how to do that. Girl, I know. My mom's better at technology than I am even now.
00:03:58
Speaker
That's amazing. We have to have her on someday. But like, yeah, like it was, that was the time like you, but you were connected like in re into real life, like most of the time. Right. You know, because like we didn't have computers, we had like computer lab in school that like, maybe we would do like an hour a day of like, you know, whatever, like computer games or whatever that was.
00:04:20
Speaker
But like if you wanted to be on the Internet, you had to basically go home, dial up, which means like it was plugged into your phone line, which means that
Social Media Dynamics and Privacy Concerns
00:04:28
Speaker
your house phone, because we had house phones, which was a whole other thing, landline, like wasn't connected. so people couldn't call you unless you like unplugged your Internet. Like you couldn't use ah your house phone and the Internet at the same time.
00:04:42
Speaker
And like, sometimes it would just like not get on, not upload whatever, but like, it wasn't something that, you know, was so pervasive in our lives. The internet was like, not the, ah like how we lived, you know, we like went out, we did things, we played, we were like present, you know? And then like, we got into like the MySpace era where I feel like that was like the beginning of, and I'm sure there's like other social media platforms, but for me, that was like the beginning of kind of social media. And it was, it was brutal, you guys. Like for those of you don't know, like MySpace was,
00:05:12
Speaker
first of all, allowed you to like curate it so you could have a song playing on your page, which of course like represented you how you were doing and like what you were feeling and thinking. It was like, whoa, like if someone comes on, they know that I'm in this kind of a mood.
00:05:26
Speaker
Most of us were like emo. So like, it was like sad, sad, like rock music, grunge music. And, um and that was really cool. But what was brutal about it was that you had your top 10,
00:05:37
Speaker
and Right. Or was it top eight? I can't remember. I think it was your top 10, but then like it would only show like the first like six or seven. So it's like, if you're not in the like column where they can like see your face on your profile, it's like our friendship is over.
00:05:53
Speaker
Yeah, like so in this, so basically MySpace was like you put who your top like 10 or top eight like so they could see like friends are and you would connect their page and they would see their photo and their name and whatever.
00:06:06
Speaker
This shit started wars, like wars. So like like, I remember there was this one time where this girl got knocked out of like first place for this other girl's page and they went to school and had like a screaming match about it.
00:06:18
Speaker
She's like, why am I number two? Like, oh, why is like Jessica number one? Like, how but like i didn't even know you guys were friends. And it was like, if you it was like so anxiety provoking to check and see if you had like dropped down in someone's list.
00:06:33
Speaker
So you literally ranked your friends. And then that like was like, that was brutal, I feel like. Oh, that's so brutal. And it's also just like the social, but here's the thing, right? Like people have that now. Like i used to teach in middle school and it's like, oh, you didn't follow me back. Or like, you don't have me on your close friends list. Or, you know, like you have a Snapchat snapchat streak with them. It's just like, it's just different variations of basically the same thing, which is kind of funny. We can see patterns in like technology and social interactions that way too.
00:07:04
Speaker
Oh yeah, for sure. Wait, do you have a Snapchat? aye have one, but I don't use it. I have one because I have photos of me saved inside of Snapchat from when I was like in college partying it up. And that's when I met my um soon to be husband.
00:07:18
Speaker
And so I don't want to like this, like get rid of those pictures, but I don't know like how to import them. And I'm definitely not going through them and importing them into visual like So it's just in like – it's like a photo graveyard for me. It's like it's like a museum, an archive of sorts.
00:07:34
Speaker
Truly, truly. And I definitely – like when I have kids, I am fucking deleting all of that shit because they don't need to see that. No, like for real. Like I had to – like years ago, i was like – went on my Facebook and I had like – all these pictures. Cause like back in the day, like Facebook kind of came around when I was just getting into college and it was like, okay, that's where you posted all your photos from going out. And like, it was like the kind of thing where, you know, you wanted to show you guys partying and like getting fucked up and like going out to the clubs, going out, like doing things, having fun, house parties, things like basement parties or parties that were in the middle of the woods. Yeah.
00:08:15
Speaker
Did you ever... Was that a thing for you? Yes. Bonfires? Like, well, that sounds very formal. We never had, like, a bonfire. We just were like, okay, we can't party at our house, so, like, we have to go, like, into the woods. So, the...
00:08:30
Speaker
town that I had lived in had it was like, it was definitely not a formal thing. It would be like, let's have a party in the woods. Like, but they, we would call it a bonfire. So we would never call it a party. And so we would never get in trouble because the sheriff was like very, he had a lot of free time. So he would always be hanging out around these parties. and so when we would frame it, we figured out that when we frame it as a bonfire, we wouldn't get in trouble.
00:08:57
Speaker
That's so smart. Campfire. Yeah. I love that. I love that. Oh my God, this is bringing back so many memories. I'm not going to lie. Like the nostalgia is real because like, yeah, we would do these things. We would like, parents weren't like tracking us. We didn't have like trackers on our phones. You know, i think at the time too, it was like, I grew up like in the nineties where it was like, okay, like you don't have a phone, but like, you know, go play with your friends outside and just come back when the sun sets, you know, like parents didn't know where we were like what we were doing and we were fine we weren't doing anything that crazy but like it's that sense of like freedom and like having that space to just like go do your own thing and have fun and then like they would trust that we would come home and not get kidnapped because it wasn't like a thing being kidnapped was like they were just like if anybody in a van tells you they have candy don't get in it and that's it
00:09:49
Speaker
I have this theory that kidnapping, I mean, I think there's always, it's a double-edged sword because I think technology definitely makes it harder for those like awful things to happen in the world because everybody has a phone and everyone's looking at like, like, um, what is it called?
00:10:02
Speaker
Amber Alerts and stuff. But I also have this theory that like people weren't as sick and twisted as much. I mean, there's always going to be outliers because porn wasn't so readily available. That is a really good theory. And I back you up on that.
00:10:18
Speaker
I back you up on that. No, for sure. It was like, if you wanted to if you to look at porn, you had to go physically into a store, rent a VHS tape, go or Like buy a magazine and then actually face somebody at a checkout to like rent whatever thing you were renting.
00:10:37
Speaker
Like it made it was harder. There's so many opportunities of shame. Like you feel so much shame going to the store. You feel shame for people staring at you and you're just like, ah, shit, maybe I shouldn't be doing this. Yeah, yeah. And there's something to be said for also, like, I think there's been such a rise in, like, extreme, like, ah porn that, like, is, very violent i mean, it's, like, violent or it's, like, really dangerous or it edges on, like, pedophilia, you know, and things like that. that I agree. I think it's, like, kind of contributed to the fuel of, like, what we're seeing today happening with, like, so much trafficking and kidnapping and things like that.
00:11:13
Speaker
I agree. I think that's an interesting theory. I agree. i have to... I want to like look up some stuff on that. See if there is any research, like my science nerd is coming out.
00:11:24
Speaker
Yes. but Well, cause like I watch like the, sometimes I try not to, but sometimes it'll pop up on my TikTok where um people will dress up and like role play as like 13 year olds to catch like online predators. I've seen those.
00:11:39
Speaker
And it is really terrifying. And I don't know if you get these posts where um they're like, yeah, I, as a woman have been hit on more from the ages of 11 to 16 than I was as like a 21 to 28 year old. And I totally resonate with that.
00:11:54
Speaker
Like I remember getting hit on at like 16 years old, even as young as like 11, 12 years old. I did develop pretty quickly as a kid. Like I developed faster than most but i mate of my peers, but It's kind of like crazy if you think about it.
00:12:09
Speaker
Like, yeah, it's, it's wild. It's totally wild. I'll never understand like why there are people who are attracted to like little kids like that. i mean, cause you're still 11 or 12. Like you're, you're, even if you develop, like that's weird. Like that's really young. And to be like into that is just, ah I don't know, just like disgusting.
00:12:28
Speaker
But yeah, i you know, so yeah, I mean, back to like the whole thing about kind of like not being tracked all the time. Like, I think that also helped us kind of develop our personalities more and to feel more independent and to kind of have experiences that, you know, are ours that like, you know, we can choose to share or not.
Shifts in Social and Nightlife Culture
00:12:47
Speaker
And now I feel like life is so curated and like these kids are like so constantly inundated with like my I need to make this look good for my snap or I need to make this look good for Instagram. Like it's kind of really destroyed this, you know, ability to be in the present moment and just have fun and who cares what your face looks like, who cares like what you're, you know, like if you're like awkwardly posed, and but you're not like now it's like, I need to look cool. I need to like look a certain way.
00:13:15
Speaker
Not saying that we didn't feel that way, but I don't think there was the same pressure to be as performative as there is now, you know? Oh, 100%. And I do think that it's like, um there's like a whole other world virtually that people kind of live in now. It's like, there's real world and then there's kind of like the secondary world that's like metaverse vibes.
00:13:38
Speaker
Yeah, I feel that too. I feel like the internet is like kind of where people live now. And I mean, myself included, like, I'm super guilty. I'm like on Instagram and TikTok, like mostly TikTok, like all the time.
00:13:49
Speaker
i don't post as much there anymore. But, um but yeah, I mean, like, those were the days, right? Like, we would go to like house parties, basement parties, when people's parents were out of town, and they didn't have cameras in their house or anything. So they didn't know we were there doing that. Yeah. Right? Like there was no ring cameras. There was nothing that. So like someone would be like, hey, like, you know, I'm having a party at my house. Like, you know, my older brother's in college. He's going to buy us some beer and like, you know, just come on over. And, you know, my parents are out of town. It's going great. And we would and like everybody would show up. And I remember so many times, like, especially in high school, like the cops would show up because I was in a pretty small town as well.
00:14:24
Speaker
And as soon as they showed up, like it was like mayhem. People were like jumping fences to like not get caught. It's like, you know, like running into the woods and things like that. That's why I think like forest parties were more fun because like they would have to find us, you know what i mean? And have to know the location. Yeah.
00:14:42
Speaker
um um Yeah, but it was like, I mean, looking back, it was like some of the most exciting, fun kind of times of my life. And I don't know that I would have be able to have that same experience today. I just don't think it it exists, you know, because there's surveillance. There's so much like ring cameras, there's phones, there's tracking, there's all this stuff, you know, and I i just don't think there's that same kind of wild freedom that like, you know, we may have had like in the past.
00:15:09
Speaker
Oh, absolutely. Which does kind of bring to question of like, I wonder what that does for the trust that they feel or that they get to experience from like their parents, you know, like, oh, you don't trust me. Like, I remember my parents getting cameras um for the outside of the house. And that was kind of i was like a year before like moving out.
00:15:25
Speaker
And so it was definitely like in my later years. And so i had a car already. it was a little bit different. But I do imagine like, I just remember thinking me like, oh shit, like you guys don't trust me and that's why you're getting cameras. And they're like, no, there's just been a lot of robberies and we want to protect our home. But you know, as like a 15, 16 year old, you're just like, fuck, like, you don't, I can't do shit. Yeah. And actually you bring up a really, really good point. And this is something I've been thinking about too. And I know like, I'm going to get like both sides of like responses on this from parents, because I think this is like a very controversial thing right now.
00:15:58
Speaker
There's a lot of danger in the world. I think like, you know, we want to make sure our kids are okay. I'm a mom now. Like I'm thinking about how I'm going to handle this when Ellie gets older. So there's this idea of like, you know, I saw this thread on ah TikTok, of course, where parents were talking about like, of course, I'm going to like have a tracker on my child's phone. Of course, like I'm going to know where they are at all times. And I know that there's this like need to make sure your child is protected. But also I think that there needs to be like a trust that you have with your kid that, you know, you guys have good communication. They communicate with you where they're going, whatever.
00:16:33
Speaker
And also that like kids, like not little kids, but like once they hit like their late teens and they're or they're in college, like they need to be able to live their lives and also like not tell you everything about what's going on unless they really feel like they want to. Like that's part of building that trust. Like as a parent, you are not their prison guard.
00:16:52
Speaker
You know what I mean? And like that, i think, destroys some of that self-esteem and that trust that they have and you have together. um because, you know, they feel like they need to hide from you or they know that you're watching them 24 seven.
00:17:07
Speaker
i don't think that's a really healthy thing, you know? And again, it's like, it depends on the age of the, you know, child and all of that, of course. But like, I don't think like surveying your child is a healthy dynamic to have with them.
00:17:21
Speaker
No, I totally agree with that. And it's definitely like a double-edged sword, right? And I do think like for me personally, I thought about it. It's like, oh okay, well, maybe it's a matter of communicating why surveying is happening. Like, it's not about you. It's not about, you know, what you're doing, but it's more so about like the world. But I do think there has to be a lot of open communication when it comes to that.
00:17:42
Speaker
Yeah, definitely. Definitely. um and then the last part of this, I was saying before we started recording was this funny, very specific nostalgia for lost club culture that I was actually really, really surprised, um, to hear that. I mean, I'm old as fuck. I'm 36. I mean, I know that's not like super old, but I feel old and I haven't been to a club and like, Oh my God, like 15 um so it wasn't something that like I was thinking about, but apparently like Gen Z, like they don't really go to the club. It's not a thing.
00:18:16
Speaker
um And they heard about like, you know, our experiences and we went in like full heels, mini skirt, dressed to the nines. Like we would dance until we were sweating everywhere, disgusting, like all night long, like having a blast.
00:18:31
Speaker
um And that's just not the culture that you see now at clubs or like dancing things. Like there was this kind of just like, free for all, and especially like in the Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, like before her breakdown, like during those days it was like, and, and I mean, I got the privilege of like going clubbing in LA when they were out clubbing as well. And those places, like there were no cameras, um you know, you could be standing next to like all kinds of celebrities and it was like very low key and have a blast and like hang out in one room, one space.
00:19:04
Speaker
um There was paparazzi outside and stuff, but like inside the club, like it was just like this kind of safe space to just like let loose and have fun without any judgment. And now like it's, I guess, changed a lot. And there's some nostalgia for that, which surprised me. 100%.
00:19:20
Speaker
oh a hundred percent And I think too, like you're like, there was something that happened online where somebody was being kind of rude to like a Porto's you know, um, waiter, I think.
00:19:32
Speaker
And that got like 20 million views on Tik TOK. And the next day I know somebody who worked at Porto's, they told me that she was reprimanded for that like interaction. And so even when you're not like surveillance in a club or in wherever situation, some stranger could just be filming you right now and it'll blow up on Tik TOK.
00:19:55
Speaker
And you might get fired. I hate that. That's so scary. It's like everywhere you go, like everyone has a camera on you. And that kind of feeling is like not, it's not great.
00:20:07
Speaker
And who got reprimanded? the The person who worked there who was also getting yelled at? Really? Yeah. Because they were like, they well, they were getting yelled at, so they yelled back. Yeah, which rightfully so. Like, fuck that bitch.
00:20:20
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. No, that and I think, too, that's why, like, so many, like, celebrities, not that I really care anymore, but, like, they all, like, live in their compounds now. Like, you used to be able to, like, see them out and about and everything. big But now everybody has a camera. So, like, they're not out. They're hiding in their big multimillion-dollar mansions, which – I mean, you know, it's, I know that I really care, but it's an interesting thing to witness, but it makes me anxious to go outside like all the time because I'm like, you know, and not that anything is going to happen, but there's this over kind of arching sense of you're being watched always, you know, and like that is intense. Yeah.
00:20:58
Speaker
That's super intense. And I think that too, like it kind of goes back to what we were talking about with kids is like, well, how are kids going to feel when they are like, I remember when I first moved out and I was like, I can do whatever I want now. And I do think it's a similar feeling, the more surveillance that ends up kind of coming up for people.
00:21:16
Speaker
Yeah, definitely. Definitely. um I'm glad to see that, you know, 2000s fashion is back in style. not um I will always die by high-waisted jeans and pants. I do i never want to see that go away.
00:21:30
Speaker
Low rise? Please. Please. Please. like Who are you kidding? like Stop it. First of all, it's so uncomfortable. Second of all, it's so uncomfortable. and like you It like forces you to feel like you have to have like this tiny skinny body.
00:21:44
Speaker
like we don't we We did a lot. Listen, kids, if you're listening, we did a lot of fucking work. to empower people to have different body shapes and different sizes. We are not going back to skinny jeans and crop like tiny crop tops and like bandage dresses. like we are like Give us a break. like Stop it. We're not doing that.
00:22:03
Speaker
um I can understand wanting to dress like retro. Oh my God, it's called vintage now, I think, and like retro, which is crazy. called vintage, yeah. i Fuck that. I'm so old. I can't.
00:22:14
Speaker
um like I never thought I'd saw that that day come. But um yeah, like I understand it's trendy to wear vintage. um But like y'all, yeah we did were don't it's a lot better now. like The way fashion has developed, i really i vibe with it.
00:22:31
Speaker
So let's not go back. I don't know. I'm against that. Yeah, the low-waisted, I can never. I will not be. My belly button likes to be in its home. I don't like to be out of the home.
00:22:43
Speaker
Let's keep a it in there. Let's keep it in there. No, for sure. For sure. um Okay. Well, anyway, nostalgia for, for a time that is no longer when things appear to be a little bit simpler and less surveilled.
00:22:58
Speaker
We'll see what happens. um But yeah, any, anything else you want to add to that? Nick, do you want to say anything?
00:23:08
Speaker
I'm not sure. I don't know. Did you not wear skinny jeans? I didn't wear, I don't, well, when? When you were like younger? no I don't think so. I never liked jeans. I always like, um I don't know. I was never like a fashion person, I guess, but I don't know. Like, and i was always into like, um just really comfortable, um like, like, ah what's it called? Sweatpants.
00:23:36
Speaker
I was not a cool kid. Let's just put it that way. I was not. I didn't go to, i didn't, I never went to high school thinking about like, Oh, I love this for you though. I was just a band nerd. So I didn't, or like shorts. I don't know. bor story Like or board shorts? Wait, what are board shorts?
00:23:54
Speaker
Like skateboard shorts? Kind of. No, no. Like the longer shorts that like, I think like you wear to the beach and stuff like those had like excessive amounts of pockets.
00:24:07
Speaker
Oh no. I definitely like wearing shorts with a lot of pockets.
00:24:13
Speaker
I definitely, you're a trailblazer. You're a trailblazer, Nick. We love that. But is there anything that you're nostalgic about that? Like you missed from like your teen or like early twenties that you think, you know, should make a comeback or that you just miss.
00:24:29
Speaker
I definitely miss life before, um, like before social media and before, and even before cell phones. Cause that's one of the things like I was, I was, you know, I came up in a, you know, slightly,
00:24:42
Speaker
earlier time than you, Gabby, but i like I didn't even get a cell phone until after I graduated high school. So, you know- Oh my God. It's just very interesting because, you know, like I was saying, like before we recorded, things changed so fast just between like the, I would say like between the mid nineties and the mid 2000, you know, 2005 ish area era, um like so much changed.
00:25:08
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, i remember, you know, you know, I grew up but in a very small town of like 15,000 people, a small town that was not anywhere close to bigger towns. So you're as very isolated, you know, kind of small town growing up and we didn't have like clubs or anything. So I didn't experience that until I was like in my my college days, I guess. Even then, I, you know, not not big and of just like going out too much. But what was I going to say?
00:25:38
Speaker
So like when I grew up, I remember like the first Super Nintendo coming out and like my neighbor had like, you know, Mario and Duck Hunter. Oh yeah.
00:25:49
Speaker
And then like, I remember my dad building ah it I don't know if anybody's going to know what this is, but a 486, it's like the very first computers is like one of those, these huge tower things.
00:26:01
Speaker
And it, you know, you could like, you could, you're, was running like MS DOS. Like this is before windows even came out. So I remember like my dad building a computer and I could like, you know, I don't know. I don't, I, I couldn't really do much on it.
00:26:16
Speaker
but then No, those things were like word processors. And that's it. was just like nothing. But then I built my own computer. Like I remember right before being in high school, I basically built my own computer and my dad helped me.
00:26:29
Speaker
And it was like Windows 95 or something. It was like super, super old school. But i did yeah, the I guess the thing I'm nostalgic of, and I had like, I had, you know,
00:26:40
Speaker
you know, like a few good friends and we would go mountain biking. And I remember having a, like a, you know, one of the older cameras, like it was like 1.3 megapixels. it was like super low quality. Like if you open it up on a computer now, it'd be like a tiny square.
00:26:58
Speaker
But I definitely, I miss the days of just kind of like, you know, where, you know Because we didn't even know about social media or having cell phones at that time. i remember towards the end of my high school years, starting to go on like Yahoo Messenger or um AOL Messenger. i remember like chatting with some school friends on there.
00:27:19
Speaker
Yeah. um But it just wasn't a big part of our our lives. Like we were out there like having experiences, like real experiences. Yeah, exactly. It's just we never ah time where we weren't even thinking about like how people would perceive us online.
00:27:35
Speaker
That's it. That's that's the word that I've been thinking about. It's like the the being perceived. Yeah. Yeah. Like that is, that is it. That's exactly like at the root of like, I think a lot of this, and I'm so glad you just said that because it is, it's like, we weren't aware of, being perceived. Yeah.
00:27:57
Speaker
So we just were ourselves. And there was so much freedom in that. And now it's all about we're hyper aware of how we're perceived by other people. And then we want to curate how we're perceived. So we like aren't really as authentic, I think, as like we could be.
00:28:17
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, definitely. totally. yeah i was just I was just looking at MySpace came out in 2003. So that was like i was like like in the middle of when I was in college you know like my second i think my second year in college, basically.
00:28:31
Speaker
And so I remember kind of like you know creating a MySpace account and connecting with other other people I went to school with and everything. And I remember kind of like it just being kind of a fun thing and not, not really caring. Even at that point, I wasn't really focused on like numbers, like how many people are following me. Although I, I think that, you know i came up that probably seemed to start affecting people pretty quickly.
00:28:54
Speaker
And then i was also, so i was also looking up 2006. um two thousand six That's when Facebook like became um available for the public. Cause before that it was limited to like college and,
00:29:06
Speaker
high school students or something. So it was really funny to see like, it's interesting to see like after just three years of my space, that's when Facebook came over, you know, overcame everything. And so it was, it's all been downhill since then.
00:29:22
Speaker
I sound so old. I feel like there's like all of these like older people who are like, I remember growing up and they're like, my generation was the best generation. And like, ah and I'm like, Oh no, I'm one of those people.
00:29:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:36
Speaker
When was the last time that you let yourself really have fun? I mean, really have fun. That pure, unapologetic, goofy, silly, adventurous kind of fun that you used to have before you became that responsible adult.
00:29:49
Speaker
Look, we all know you're reaching those KPOs at work. You're showing up to Pilates, you're taking care of your kids, you're doing that self-growth work, and all of that is great. But you also need to give yourself time to throw it to the wind and just play. That's just as important when it comes to creating a life that feels joyful and expansive. And that is what Camp Hugin is all about. Camp Eugen is the adult summer camp experience for women by women. We are passionate about bringing women together in community to play, create, travel, and have incredible adventures all while nurturing and healing the inner child.
00:30:24
Speaker
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00:31:09
Speaker
Give yourself the gift of relaxation and play and join us today. Visit www.campyugen.com slash May 2025 to book your suite and get ready for the adventure of a lifetime.
00:31:22
Speaker
That's www.campyugen.com slash May 2025. See
Retail and Hospitality Industry Insights
00:31:29
Speaker
you in France.
00:31:32
Speaker
Oh, man. Okay, well, let's get to these confessions. um Okay, and would also love to hear if you have any nostalgic moments, drop it in our comments and and share with us.
00:31:44
Speaker
Okay, let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Okay, so this person said um their ex retail staff and she said or I don't know why she cheer he um trust me retail staff already knows whether or not they have something you're looking for in the back.
00:32:00
Speaker
So if you refuse to believe them and insist they check anyway, they will just stand in the back having a break from you for two minutes not looking for the item.
00:32:10
Speaker
Wait, that's so funny. I've never worked retail before, but I could totally see that happening. I have some clients who work in retail and I i definitely think that that's true, more true than not.
00:32:21
Speaker
Yeah, definitely. Have you ever asked for something in the back for people to check in the back? and No, I mean, maybe shoes, but that's like, obviously, you know, that's kind of different because it's like shoe sizes.
00:32:33
Speaker
True. If they're like, I mean, I'm such a people pleaser. So if they're like, we don't have it. I'm like, okay, I'm so sorry for asking. Yeah. I apologize. Our own like neuroses comes out in these moments.
00:32:45
Speaker
No, I'm the same. Like I'm too embarrassed to ask them to look in the back. I feel like that's so aggressive. um So again, also people pleasing. I'm just like, first of all, I won't even ask because I don't want to bother.
00:32:55
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, but if I do, then like i'm not I'm not making them go to the back. But I did, I worked in retail at Express for a little bit. And that was a hard, listen, it's hard to work in retail and do that kind of customer service. And also your arms are so tired at the end of the day because you're folding and hanging up so many clothes. Like I would be so appreciative when people would like hang up their shit after they were done trying it on. And then like the people who just left the dressing room messy, I cursed their whole family.
00:33:29
Speaker
And their future generations. That is, that is me. That is a hundred percent me. I'm so sorry. Oh my God. Okay. so Well, not you. I love you. So like you're the exception. um But yeah. And you know, it's, I worked in, i don't know about you, but I worked in the restaurant industry for like a few years after college. And I worked at some really high end restaurants with like, which by the way, like I worked at Dave and Buster's as my first job, which is chaotic as fuck.
00:33:55
Speaker
um But people were like less difficult than when I worked at like some, I worked at like a restaurant that's owned by a pretty well-known celebrity chef. um And I worked at another place that's a Hillstone restaurant.
00:34:08
Speaker
um And like, those are the difficult clientele. And like, they would come in being making like demands, like demands, demands, things that like, I could not change the recipes. I can request that they maybe not add something or whatever. Like if you have a dietary restriction,
00:34:23
Speaker
But there were people who were like basically deconstructing entire recipes. And then they'd be like, I want this. And I'm like, ah I'll ask. But really, I went to the back and then me and all the kitchen staff would make fun of them for like a few minutes. And then I'd come back and be like, I checked with our manager and like, we can't do that. I'm so sorry.
00:34:44
Speaker
but we were like, we were totally making fun of them. ae i'm not i don't have enough thick skin to work in the restaurant industry. I really wanted to bartend for a while, but I just like never got the opportunity to.
00:34:57
Speaker
My entire like young adulthood, I worked with children. And so there wasn't much to talk shit about because they're kids. That would be so rude.
00:35:08
Speaker
I think I'd be like concerned if you were talking shit about like little kids. Right. And I'm just like, let's just watch Moana together. Wait, I went into the wrong field. It's like I worked my first job ever was working at a gymnastics studio and I taught like toddlers how to do cartwheels. It was really cute.
00:35:27
Speaker
Oh my God, that's so cute. Yeah, then I worked at summer camps and then I would work birthday parties. I would help people like do, I would work at like the bougiest birthday parties in l a and I would teach kids how to like paint or make slime. Like I would just do art activities with them.
00:35:43
Speaker
And then I became a teacher. Yeah. job It's like all children related. i love that though. Wait, do you have any like stories from working at those like bougie l LA parties? Anything like crazy ever happened?
00:35:56
Speaker
Oh my God, please spill. So much parent trauma. It's so wild. Oh, one time. Okay. This is the number one thing that I remember. This person, I'm not name names, was a very, like everybody knows this person, like without a doubt.
00:36:09
Speaker
And They were caught, the wife, it was a guy, the wife was caught in the bathroom with another man. hook Shut up. At the party? At her birthday party.
00:36:21
Speaker
Oh, what? it was really uncomfortable. There was a lot of tension and she had like been caught with this guy And then they asked me to like watch the kid because like the party was pretty much over.
00:36:34
Speaker
And the kid was like, where's mom and dad? And i was like, I can't really tell you, but they're just hanging out and like figuring something out.
00:36:43
Speaker
Oh, that's so wild. And they put, they made you like stay and then watch the kid. ah Oh my God. And then i was like, was like, am I being compensated? It was like two hours I stayed after. Cause they just like disappeared. And I'm just not leaving the child in like the middle of Santa Monica. Like we were at a venue in Santa Monica and I was like, okay, well like, I'm like, I know this is a bad time, but like, are you guys going to pay me?
00:37:06
Speaker
Like I was already paid before the party. yeah Oh my God. That's so that's such a like awkward situation to be in. Like I can't even imagine like what that was like. Damn.
00:37:18
Speaker
Damn. Yeah. Wow. Hopefully that kid is in therapy now. Hopefully. I mean, that was like, I mean, it was before I met Jay. So it must've been 10 years ago. So that kid definitely is at therapy age. Yeah.
00:37:32
Speaker
Damn. Oh, man. Yeah, we had like, we had our fair share of like celebrities come into the restaurants like, and I don't, I don't think I signed like an NDA. So I can probably talk about some of it. But like, it was interesting working with like really high end clientele, like some were so nice. And some were like, really, like really, really not like at all.
00:37:53
Speaker
And then some like, especially guys, like they definitely were hitting on all the female servers and like we would go in the back and be like, Oh, this guy is so like, this guy is so gross. Um, and they totally were like trying to take us home and stuff. And we're like, we're going to get kidnapped. Like what is going on here? Like, this is so uncomfortable.
00:38:13
Speaker
um But I will say this is one of my favorite stories and it's it's a good story. So when I was working at Hillstone, it was my first like real serving job. Like Dave and Buster's does not count, you guys.
00:38:24
Speaker
um But this was like fancy and like, you know, like you had to like be on your shit. And Hillstone is like very military with their training. And like there's like all these standards and all this stuff that you have to meet.
00:38:35
Speaker
I did get fired from that job because I wasn't good at it, but I was very friendly. um And when I was there, Christian Bale, this was like when he was at the height of Batman, he would come in like all the time with his daughter, who was so sweet, and he would like do homework with her.
00:38:55
Speaker
after school. And i remember I waited on him a few times and he was always so nice. I was, first of all, completely shook when he started speaking. And I i realized he was British because I didn't know that. I just knew him. You didn't know that?
00:39:11
Speaker
No, no, he's like the most British. He's, but he's full British. So like he, he has a, yes, you need to Google this. You need to Google this. It's I was, I mean, I thought he was going to talk like Batman and I was like such a fucking huge fan of his movies that like, I like couldn't even believe I got to like interact with him, but yeah, he's fully British.
00:39:29
Speaker
um So that was a shocker. And then the second thing was, it was like the first time I waited on him and I was so nervous. Like, so nervous, I was like 22 years old, like fresh out of college, like just like already anxious at this job.
00:39:42
Speaker
Because my manager hated me because I couldn't, don't know, I couldn't cut it, I wasn't like good enough. um But I went up to to serve him and we had like, we used to be able to get to try like the daily specials before our shift, right? So like, we could describe it accurately, which I miss all the free good food I used to get expensive, nice food.
00:40:02
Speaker
So that day we had this like pulled pork sandwich. It was to this day, probably the best pulled pork sandwich I've ever eaten in my life. I'm talking like like mouthwatering barbecue sauce, like pickled red onions, like arugula, like on a soft like bun. Like it was just like the best sandwich ever.
00:40:21
Speaker
So he asked what the special was and I was i was like shaking and i immediately went into my foodie food lover mode and I went for about two minutes describing how delicious the sandwich was.
00:40:36
Speaker
And he let me go like describing it for like on and on and on and on. And I was like, it's the best sandwich I've ever had. It's so good. And then at the end of it, he just like paused and he was like, sounds like you really like that sandwich.
00:40:49
Speaker
And I was like, oh my fucking God, I'm so embarrassed. You have such a solid British accent. I love that for you. Wait, really? That's I thought, oh, well, thanks. I haven't practiced it in a while.
00:41:02
Speaker
But I remember just being so embarrassed. I was like, I just fangirled the fuck out of this sandwich for like, ah too long. And now Batman thinks that I'm obsessed with this pulled pork sandwich. And that's something I will never forget.
00:41:14
Speaker
but Wait, that's hilarious. I can't still can't get over the fact that Batman is British. No, he is. And he's a really good dad doing his homework with his daughter like um like every day. like He would come in at the same time for weeks.
00:41:26
Speaker
um And then I think he was shooting another movie, so he didn't come in after that. And then I got fired. But...
00:41:32
Speaker
Which, by the way, is like the most dehumanizing thing to have like a bachelor's degree, like cum laude from USC and like feeling really accomplished in your life. And then to be fired from like a waiting job because like you just couldn't get waters out fast enough.
Entrepreneurial Advice and Wellness
00:41:47
Speaker
like I was like, I'm never going to make it in this city. um that's so rough. It was so rough. I hope he remembers me and I hope he orders that sandwich if it ever comes on the menu again.
00:42:00
Speaker
truly He's like, I remember this one time this girl was a raving about a pulled bork team. No, i really hope he remembers me. Like that was, that was like my, probably one of my favorite moments slash most humiliating moments um living in LA.
00:42:13
Speaker
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Speaker
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00:42:55
Speaker
and click infinity to start your journey today That's www.omtherapycoaching.com slash store and click infinity. And for a limited time, just because you're listening to this podcast, you can get 10% off just use the code podcast at checkout.
00:43:11
Speaker
It's time to reclaim your happiness. Your future self is waiting. Guys, I am not a lawyer and I am not going to pretend to be, but I do run a really, really profitable coaching business with lots of things like retreats, one-on-one mentorship, group programs, online programs, and much more.
00:43:29
Speaker
So it's really important that I protect myself with the right legal documentation. That's why I go to Coaches and Company. They have easy-to-read, lawyer-created contracts without the law firm price tags.
00:43:40
Speaker
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00:43:51
Speaker
So if you are a service provider or a coach and definitely not a lawyer, visit www.coachesandcompany.com slash REF slash ConfessionsPod today to get your contracts in order.
00:44:04
Speaker
Or just go ahead and click the link in the show notes and it'll take you right there.
Fitness, Nutrition, and Personal Health
00:44:08
Speaker
ah Yeah. Okay, cool. um Okay. Listen to this. I think this is interesting because you're really into like fitness and like bodybuilding, especially with like weights and stuff. Right.
00:44:18
Speaker
And like, I always worry about like developing the wrong, like shape because I'm doing like the wrong exercises. So this is kind of something like that. So this, this, ah this girl says, um as a short and slightly overweight female,
00:44:32
Speaker
I thought my newfound love for hiking would give me an amazing figure. i now have legs of steel and a barrel body. Work in progress, I guess. Okay, so I have the same fear of like, I'm going become bulky. And my mom, to this day, no matter how many times I've been working out for over 10 years, and she still does not believe, despite my body. Maybe she just thinks my body looks bulky, but she's like, weightlifting will make your body bulky. If your body looks bulky from weightlifting, it's probably a nutrition thing.
00:45:03
Speaker
Weightlifting naturally will not make you bulky. It's just point blank period. If your body doesn't look the way you want it to look, which is like fine, you can you can desire things for your body.
00:45:14
Speaker
It's a nutrition thing. And majority of women are not eating enough protein and they're eating way too much inflammatory carbs and they're eating highly saturated fat. Ooh, interesting. So give us like some tips and tricks of like how you feed your body while you're lifting weights to like get this desired look that you would like for yourself.
00:45:35
Speaker
So I think the easiest thing is like just more protein, right? Like in the beginning, more protein is like the easiest way to start. And then there's something called a reverse diet. And I love this concept and I love to share it with women because we think that we need to eat less in order to lose weight.
00:45:50
Speaker
And to a certain degree, true, like calorie in, calorie out. But we want to recomp our body. We don't want to just lose weight. If we're just losing weight, sometimes we're going to lose muscle too. And we don't have like that lean definition like body that we want.
00:46:04
Speaker
And so in order for us to get there, we actually need to increase our metabolism. And so essentially, it's basically training your body to get used to eating more and still lose weight. And so for a while, I was eating 12 to 1400 calories, which is what most women do to lose weight.
00:46:20
Speaker
But at one point, I was losing weight when I was eating 3000 calories. And it's because you slowly increase your calories, um specifically certain macronutrients to make your body still look hot as fuck and also lose weight.
00:46:35
Speaker
And not feel depleted. This is this is really good information. and I'm going to be taking this because I'm on my weight loss journey. and And I can use all the tips and tricks I can get. Shoot me. um I love talking about this shit because it's like it was mind-blowing to me. And I've always wanted – I've been on a – I want to lose weight for like my whole life, like yo-yo dieting.
00:46:56
Speaker
And when i finally realized – I can eat in and out like two times a week if I really want to and not gain weight and like progress on my goals. It was like mind blowing.
00:47:07
Speaker
Oh my God. I love that. Yeah. I think, you know, i i feel so lost because there's so many like amazing workout videos on like TikTok and so many amazing nutritionists and things. And it all feels like so much conflicting information. And like, so but the one thing I have seen consistently is what you're talking about, um about the reverse dieting, about like the increasing protein. And I've increased my protein like a crazy amount as I've been like working out more and like really trying to like lose the baby weight. And it has made such a huge difference. And it is almost like hard to eat that much protein. Like it's a challenge. Yeah.
00:47:41
Speaker
It definitely is not the easiest if you're not used to it. um There was a point where I was consuming like 160 grams of protein, but most women only really need like 120 grams.
00:47:52
Speaker
If you're just starting out, like 100 grams is fine. So like to give you like a visual, because I know not everyone knows how much, like how many grams of protein I can kind of like, I'm like a calculator at this point.
00:48:04
Speaker
It's like essentially like your hand, your palms worth of protein per like on your plate. And so like okay what like a steak, you know, some ground beef.
00:48:14
Speaker
If you don't like to eat meat, bone broth, chugging. I drink a cup of bone broth every morning and that's like 15 grams of protein and I'll drink two cups and that's 30 grams already. So like you're almost halfway there.
00:48:26
Speaker
I love that. Bone broth has changed the game for me. Like in so many different ways. I make my own from scratch. I know. i think you do too, right? Yeah. Lately haven't been. I've been buying it from the farmer's market. I've been cheating, but you know, it's okay.
00:48:39
Speaker
ah What like farmers market bone broth is probably great. um But yeah, no, like having a cup of that every single morning before anything else. And I've been adding like 20 grams of um what's it called collagen protein to the bone broth. So on top of the bone broth, like I'm also adding that and I feel like so good every single day. And I think that's really been like something that's changed for me because I can't eat like a shit ton of animal protein. I just like, I don't have the appetite.
00:49:07
Speaker
I'm also on liraglutide. So like eating anything is like difficult, but, but this has been awesome. And my skin, my hair, like, it's just like, everything is like glowing in such a different way. And so now I'm like a bone broth addict for sure.
00:49:22
Speaker
That's amazing. i love that bone broth is so good. It is an easy way for people to like get in some protein for sure. Yeah, definitely. And I remember like when I read this, was laughing because I immediately thought of this like time when I was in high school, I joined the swim team. We had like, and i love to swim.
00:49:38
Speaker
Not competitively. I've never done that. But we had a swim team that like formed and I was like, yes, sign me up. And we would do an insane amount of laps like three or four times a week for practice.
00:49:50
Speaker
And at first I was like, wow, like um my body is getting so like muscular and amazing. And then I ended up developing because like they had me doing like the backstroke and the butterfly.
00:50:02
Speaker
My pecs and my shoulders got so fucking jacked. that I literally quit because I was like, I can't, i I look like a triangle. Like I don't want to have this body shape. And it's like, it's not, it's not for me.
00:50:17
Speaker
um But I remember that happening. And that was really funny. I like looked in the mirror and I was like, I have like massive traps and like pecs. Like, but like detrained is a thing. So like, if you start working out, those muscles will come back easier than the remaining of your muscles. And so knowing that you have that history, you can then focus more on your lower body if that's what you want to build up.
00:50:40
Speaker
Yeah, definitely. Definitely. Well, shall be seen. shall it remains to be seen. So we'll, you know, we're getting there. We're getting there.
Podcast Conclusion and Retreat Invitation
00:50:49
Speaker
But yeah, you know, everybody's journey is different, but having this information is really helpful. So thank you for that.
00:50:56
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. Anytime.
00:51:00
Speaker
Besties. Oh, man. Well, this has been fun, you guys. I hope you enjoyed this episode and um you know found some humor in it and some escape as things can be quite crazy in life and in the world. And we love having you here. So if you want to join us, we do have our retreat coming up. Don't forget. And we have a few spots left for that. And we're all going to be hanging out together. It's going to be a great opportunity to meet some awesome friends and have adventures in the south of France and we would really love to see you there um and feel free to comment leave us a review um and send us your confessions because we love to read them on the show alright guys until next time see ya bye