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Supermodel Mommy Issues, Tattoo Taboos, and Wedding toasts that wildly wrong!
14 Plays3 months ago
Going to the chapel, and we’re gonna get maaaaarried!! It’s finally Diane’s wedding week and this episode is all about…. You guessed it: Weddings! Diane breaks down exactly what’s going down on her special day in Malibu— the food, the first look, the vows, and why she decided to have a “no kids allowed” event. Then Gabby and Diane dive into wedding horror stories that will have you rolling. Accidental flashing, a father-in-law’s insane toast, an arrest, and revenge on a cheating fiance— this is going to be a juicy one!
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NOW ACCEPTING YOUR CONFESSION SUBMISSIONS! Click the link below and fill out the form to submit your juiciest secret for us to discuss on the show. NOTHING is off-limits and everything is anonymous.
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Looking for a different kind of summer vacation? Join Diane and Gabby May 16-23 for their Camp Yūgen women’s summer camp experience in the south of France!
Get ready for 7 days of all-inclusive luxury and fun— horseback riding, hiking, exploring medieval castles, yoga, crafting, pajama parties, organic chef-prepared meals, all while staying in a gorgeous 18th century chateau.
For more information and to book your suite, visit www.campyugen.com/may2025
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Transcript
Show Introduction
00:00:06
Speaker
Hey guys, welcome back to Doorknob Confessions. I am here with my host, Gabby, and we are so excited to have you guys back and listening. Yeah, welcome back, you guys. Welcome to the homeland.
00:00:18
Speaker
Welcome to room lands. do you remember that from TikTok? Oh my gosh. Yes. Was that COVID or like post COVID? That was fucking crazy. think that was like COVID vibes. Yeah, that was COVID vibes. Just people having on crash outs on TikTok. I don't blame them. I don't blame them. I don't blame them. Oh man. Well, anyway, hope you guys aren't crashing out.
00:00:40
Speaker
um And if you are, hey, well, you know, we're all human. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. You're safe here. You're safe
Wedding Preparations
00:00:47
Speaker
here. oh So I recently, i was just telling Gabby, I went to pick up my dress today. I'm getting married next week. I think this is going to come out like I think the week of the wedding. And so. Yes, it is.
00:00:58
Speaker
Congratulations. Right now you're getting married. As this is playing in someone's ears, you are getting married. Oh my God. Literally walking down the aisle. um And I have a surprise that I can probably tell you because my partner doesn't listen to this podcast anyway. So I'll tell you the surprise each time.
00:01:12
Speaker
Um, he was like, do you want me to listen to this? And I was like, he's like, is that a supportive thing for me to do? And I was like, you don't have to listen to it. You hear me blab enough. Um, literally all the time. No, save yeah I was going to pick up my dress and I got my dress, um, at this beautiful, like but bridal gown customization place.
00:01:31
Speaker
And there were a lot of models there every time I went for my fitting, but this most recent time I went for my fitting, there was like a supermodel there. And I didn't know who she was, but like everyone that was working there was like, she's a supermodel. And she looked like, I mean, the dress on her just looked like she was a damn mannequin. Oh that's so cool.
00:01:50
Speaker
But her mom was there and her mom was talking shit about what she looked like. And it just kind of gave me this thing of like, no matter what you look like, the projection of a mother's insecurity around like body image will forever be there.
00:02:08
Speaker
And it was really fascinating to see that being emulated in like the supermodel's relationship with her mother. And I thought that was just so like telling, you know. Yeah. That's awful. Like, you know, and it's I think especially to like diet culture.
Body Image and Diet Culture
00:02:23
Speaker
Like i grew up in such a crazy diet culture where like you were encouraged to replace two meals with a bowl of special K. Yeah.
00:02:30
Speaker
Like we would eat the most chemically filled diet foods, like snack wells, cookies. Like we would do anything to like low calorie. Everything is like low calorie snack packs, low calorie, low calorie. What are you eating? What is she eating? What is he eating? Like blah, blah, blah.
00:02:43
Speaker
It's so bad. But yeah, it's such a, that's wild. I mean, supermodels are, they have incredible figures or also I would argue a little underweight sometimes. um But like to have like,
00:02:56
Speaker
your mom and your supermodel, like criticizing the way you look like, damn. I know. None of us are safe. Yeah. And then I was talking to the alteration person and she was like, oh yeah, you would not believe like that is just so common.
00:03:13
Speaker
Like in in this space. It's giving stage mom, it's giving stage mom, narcissistic mom, dance moms, like, Ooh, like very much so.
00:03:23
Speaker
Very much so. But I got two dresses because I'm extra and am obsessed with them. Amazing. ah um The second dress is kind of like a little sultry, a little sexy, has a slit all the way to my hip, which like, sorry, grandma. Yeah.
00:03:42
Speaker
I love that. That sounds amazing. It's really a vibe. I'll have to send you a picture.
Cultural Insights on Tattoos
00:03:47
Speaker
But um my my tattoo is on display for everybody to see. Nobody in my family knows I have this tattoo.
00:03:56
Speaker
For reference, it probably like an inch thick in terms of the line. So it's a very thick, it's an ornamental like spiritual tattoo. And so it's like tribal, um you know, has roots in like indigenous cultures, all the things.
00:04:10
Speaker
And it goes from my neck all the way to my butt. And... it's yeah i mean It's sick. It's sick. I've seen it. I've had the privilege. Yeah, it's sick. I love it.
00:04:21
Speaker
But my family does not know about it. And in Korea, I am not allowed to go into any bathhouses or the gym. Or I'm allowed to go into the gym, but I just can't change there. I have tried and I was kicked out because of this tattoo. Wow.
00:04:34
Speaker
Which is slightly humiliating when you're like half-dressed and they tell you to get out. um That's wild. And so... I am worried because I have about 20 to 30 Korean family members coming.
00:04:49
Speaker
Some of them are my family members and some of them are my partners. And I'm a little scared. What? So like nobody in your, like not even your parents, like no one knows you have that.
00:05:01
Speaker
My parents know, but they're American. So it's a little different. They're kind of, mean, they fucking hate it but they they just accepted the fact that like, ah we brought my daughter to America and we let her go to art school. And so like, she has tattoos. Because I have tattoos on like other parts of my body.
00:05:19
Speaker
But when my mom saw that my neck was tatted, she was fucking mortified. Oh, man. oh wow. Well, that's hard. I mean, like, you know, I think especially like it sounds like culturally, it's just not something that is like that widely accepted. So I can completely understand like feeling like worried about how people are going to respond. Do you think anybody's going to say anything?
00:05:40
Speaker
Oh, I mean, for sure. for sure. They're going to say something. But it's just going to be like, i'm just to laugh it off. gonna like I run my own business you can't tell me that it's gonna affect my career and Korea me the culturally it's still perceived as like gangbangers or gangsters um people who are affiliated with gangs those people get tattoos now I think the younger generation like Gen z they are considered like more bold and so getting tattoos is a bit more common for them
00:06:10
Speaker
Mm hmm. Mm hmm. No, that makes sense. I mean, I didn't know about that happening in Korea, but I did i did hear a lot about that because we've been researching Japan and I have a bunch of tattoos. um And apparently you can't go like to the onsen and like you can't go. like you like It's really, really like forbidden.
00:06:27
Speaker
um will say, though, it's there is one onsen that you can go to in Japan that allows tattoos. Oh, okay. Well, I'll need the info on that. I don't know the name of it, but you can look it up because I remember looking at it for Korea. And then they were like, oh, Korea doesn't have any, but Japan does. And I was like, okay, I have Kwan's about Japan. But anyways. Yeah.
00:06:48
Speaker
No, but good on you, though, because I think, like, you know, there's a lot of people who would, let's say, buy, like, the tattoo covering makeup and just would avoid, like, you know, any kind of, like, issue by, like, doing that and kind of hiding.
00:07:02
Speaker
But I'm really proud of you. You're not hiding. You're just saying, like, this is me. Like, I'm amazing. Like, that I have a tattoo. Like, sorry. Like, not sorry. And I think that's very, like, it's brave. Truly. Like, it's brave. and Yeah, it was a whole argument. It was a whole argument. It was, like, a week-long argument my mom and I had.
00:07:17
Speaker
um but covering. She's like, paul please just cover it. And I was like, and I told her, I was like, you know what? I will genuinely consider it. And I thought about it for a week and it just did not sit right with me because the whole like container of the work I do is like, be your authentic self. And like, I love my tattoos and it's proud. I'm proud of them. And I fucking sat for 20 hours for them and I threw up four times. And so like, it was a reclamation of my body after feeling like my body belonged to other people for so long. And so I don't feel good about hiding it, you know? And it's funny because every time I go to acupuncture, people love to acupuncture me. I don't know if that's a verb, but we'll use it as a verb.
00:07:57
Speaker
um Stick needles into me. They love it because my tattoo actually lines up with all my meridian points, like all my chakra points. And so there dots on every meridian point. And so people, whenever i go to a new acupuncturist, they're like, oh, I just need to stick it like right in that dot.
00:08:15
Speaker
That's amazing. Did you do that on purpose? like Tell me about the whole process. like Did you design it like what What made you pick that symbol? like i would I'm so curious. So the the main um symbol, my lower back, is the lotus flower, and which is kind of like renewal, its growth.
00:08:30
Speaker
And then there are a lot of different ornamental things, and then there are dots. And It's more so to ground those energy centers because um it was mostly a tattoo for like sexual assault survival. And so like I wanted to represent something that I genuinely felt like my body was not mine after having like given it away almost for so long. And had just gotten into my relationship with my partner and it just felt like I wasn't in my body. And it was kind of a dissociative state. And I felt like the tattoo was a very symbolic, um very ritualistic ceremony of having to like sit through, it's a 16 gauge needle. And so for reference, typical tattoo needles are one gauge.
00:09:11
Speaker
And so it's 16. um And it's very, it's meant to kind of purge everything that comes with a lot of the trauma that you end up experiencing through sexual assault. And so That's kind of where my story kind of comes from for my tattoo. But recently when I was trying my wedding dress on, my mom saw it and my mom told my dad and was like, literally her tattoo goes all the way to her ass. My dad was like, can I see it Mind you, my dad has a tattoo.
00:09:38
Speaker
He got it when he was like 45. Excuse me. Go dad. And he like looked at it and he was like, what does it mean? Like, what does your tattoo mean? And I was like, don't know if you want to know, bro. Oh man. Yeah.
00:09:51
Speaker
It's just like, it's just a tattoo. just kind of like played it off. yeah But yeah, that's kind of what it means. And it means so much to me. And i I love it. I'm obsessed with it. And it's i got it when I was probably at my heaviest in terms of weight. And it was also kind of um really vulnerable to like be naked essentially on a table and get tattooed when i didn't feel the most comfortable in my body. And it made me kind of fall into in love with my body a bit more.
00:10:18
Speaker
Oh my God, that's so beautiful. Thank you for sharing all of that. Like it's inspiring. It's like beautiful. Like I can imagine like just the sense of reclamation that has to happen when you go through a process like that and you decide this is like what I'm doing for my body, for me and for my
Wedding Planning Decisions
00:10:35
Speaker
healing. And it's so intentional.
00:10:37
Speaker
Like the energy of all of that is just so beautiful. And you said it took 20 hours. Yeah. yeah It took 20 hours. it was four sessions of five hours each session.
00:10:49
Speaker
And every single session I threw up because it was so – look, like this is not my first tattoo. I have a lot of tattoos. I have one on my sternum. I have one on my ribs. This was by far the most painful. And I don't think it was about the location as much – because my partner has a full back tattoo and he was like, it was nothing.
00:11:08
Speaker
i think it was the nature of like how it was done. And because of the needles were so so freaking thick yeah was really painful i can't even imagine i am like my tattoos are single line tattoos like they're so like they use the thinnest possible needle and like you know it's like it doesn't really feel like much i can't even imagine like a 16 times that the size of an oh my god it's like i just think of a pencil like or something like a charcoal pencil okay
00:11:39
Speaker
Girl, kudos to you. Like what a powerful way to like, just, just like, yeah. Reclaim your space, your body, like to like honor yourself and also like to like purge, like you said, like it must've been like such a purge as well of like some of the stored shit. Like, cause that's a somatic, that's a somatic release too. I mean, it's like, totally and she works with somatics. Like my tattoo artist is like a somatic ceremonial tattoo artist. And it was like really fucking cool.
00:12:07
Speaker
um Love that. She had like Palo Santo. She cleansed the space. Like we did cards. Like it was like a whole thing. why Yeah. It was like a really cool process. That's really that's awesome. info But now fast forward, it's been like three, four years since I got it. And I am ecstatic because it looks fucking fire with my wedding dress.
00:12:28
Speaker
Yeah. Girl, this is going to so good. It's so good. They have a corset and like they were like, do you want us to close the corset up all the way or do you want it to show more of the tattoo? And I was like, show more.
00:12:40
Speaker
oh my God. It's so, and it's, it's going to look really, really edgy and sexy and like, but also like elegance with the combination of like the dress as well. and I have a veil on so like it'll slightly cover it but my mom's like everyone's gonna see it because you're facing like facing us because it's the back and I was like yeah that's the point mom she's like I want you to be seen but also oh my god I'm gonna have to deal with everybody talking about it but you know hey sorry like yo YOLO YOLO YOLO oh my god that's so exciting is Jay gonna show his tattoo too
00:13:16
Speaker
i mean he I mean, not really because he's in a suit. So unless he's like going to be running around shirtless, I don't think his tattoos will show. I think you should do like shirtless Chippendales with like you know the like bow tie, but without a shirt like at a certain point. and Just for support, for like moral support. you know Solidarity.
00:13:32
Speaker
Yeah. He hasn't seen either of the dresses, though. So we're doing a first look, and I'm really, really excited about it. I was going to ask, yeah, because some people choose to do the first look. Some people wait till like the first look is down the aisle. What made you like choose to do like a first look versus waiting till you walk down the aisle?
00:13:47
Speaker
Well, think it's just like we really wanted a moment to ourselves. And I tend to like black out when I'm in front of other people. I mean, I still black out when it's just him. When he proposed to me, I completely blacked out. I don't really remember. Like I was just sobbing, like viscerally sobbing um because he was just the sweetest. But The first look, I was like, I really want it to be private because i want to remember the moment and I want to have time with him before the wedding starts because I think the nerves will just be way too high if the first look is like in front of everybody. We're also choosing to do private vows. So we're going to do our vows after the first look, just me and him. And then at the aisle, like in the ceremony, we'll just do like the I, Diane, take you. jay to be my husband daa dada but um the vows itself so we're actually going on a date on friday to like write our vows together and we're gonna go to a nice restaurant and like brainstorm read examples because we don't know what a fucking vow is supposed to sound like so i'm gonna pull some examples for us um we're not allowed to use chat gpt we we put some ground rules down i
00:14:55
Speaker
I mean, it is a helpful tool, but probably yeah good idea to let this come from the heart. Yeah. That's adorable. Oh my God. No, like it's so personal. And so like, I think, you know, I mean, when I was getting married, we kind we kind of eloped, we're going to have like a formal ceremony where we do all the things, um you know, and maybe a year or so.
00:15:18
Speaker
But one of the things that we loved about eloping was that it was for us, like, i I don't know. Like, I think there's a lot of people who have big weddings because they feel pressure from their families to like, you know, it's more for the families. It's not for them, you know? And then you have everybody's fucking input. Oh, I want this food or oh I want to sit by this. Oh, can I invite this plus one? Oh, we broke up. Can I have another plus one?
00:15:41
Speaker
Like, you know, like, i don't know. It's just like, it's so chaotic and it never feels like it's just for the couple. And one of the things that Ben and I really loved was like, It was, we had two witnesses, it was his parents.
00:15:52
Speaker
um We had to have them otherwise it would have just been us. And it was us in like this day this beautiful like room in this like the, what's called the Mary, which is like the um like town hall, but it's like a fancy like building. And it was this beautiful old like 18th century room with like mirror, like decorations, very French, you know, it was like chandeliers. It was gorgeous.
00:16:14
Speaker
But like at the end of the day, like we took photos before with like a photographer as we would be right before we went in, like all around the town. And it was beautiful. And then like we went in. And after we went out to like our favorite restaurant, and like we had dinner. And it was like it was so it was the best wedding. There was no pressure.
00:16:31
Speaker
There was nobody else to impress. There was nobody to like talk to you or things to coordinate. like We just showed up. and like it was for us and it felt like, yeah, this is, this feels so right. And like, when you talk about like having your first look together and doing your vows together and not doing it in front of everybody, I love that because at the end of the day, this is about you guys and the love for each other. Right. And like not everybody else.
00:16:56
Speaker
A hundred percent. and And talk about plus ones. we gave nobody plus ones unless you're married. Yeah. I love that. Good job. You don't get a plus one unless you're married. And even then I was just like, because it's a 40 person wedding. It's very small.
00:17:08
Speaker
um the The ways in which we are doing it seems like a big wedding because it's very bougie and gorge. But the amount of people that are there, it's 40 people, including all of our extended or our immediate family. And so it's like a handful of friends and mostly family. And I wouldn't have it any other way, honestly. Yeah.
00:17:29
Speaker
Oh, that's great. Yeah. you still have that intimate vibe. You know, it's not like 200 people. Right. Which is crazy. Like that doesn't feel like traditionally what Koreans do. It's like 150, 200 is the minimum. And so everybody in my mom and dad's like circle were like, why aren't you doing a big wedding? Like, why aren't I invited? And they were kind of like, no, she wanted a small wedding. And like, that's what we're doing.
00:17:52
Speaker
Nice, nice. And I love it. It's on your terms. You're doing it your way. It's the idea that like hopefully you only do this once because this is the person you're meant to be with. um Knock on wood.
00:18:04
Speaker
And you've got to just do it your way. like It's your life. you know it's like we can't wait I think we live so much for other people's ah like approval and... yeah for their happiness and their validation and like something as big as this it just it has to be for you guys and it sounds like that's what you're doing like amazing yes i'm excited when was the last time that you let yourself really have fun i mean really have fun that pure unapologetic goofy silly adventurous kind of fun that you used to have before you became that responsible adult
00:18:36
Speaker
Look, we all know you're reaching those KPOs at work. You're showing up to Pilates, you're taking care of your kids, you're doing that self-growth work, and all of that is great. But you also need to give yourself time to throw it to the wind and just play. That's just as important when it comes to creating a life that feels joyful and expansive. And that is what Camp Hugin is all about. Camp Eugen is the adult summer camp experience for women by women. We are passionate about bringing women together in community to play, create, travel, and have incredible adventures all while nurturing and healing the inner child.
00:19:12
Speaker
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00:19:56
Speaker
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00:20:09
Speaker
That's slash May 2025. See you in France. I'm excited to hear these wedding confessions that you have up. Yeah, we have like, we were going to talk because like this episode is coming out the week that she gets married. So I was like looking at little confessions or stories to talk about um that are all wedding themes. So yes, um this is from BuzzFeed. Actually, they put together a couple of pretty good, like wedding horror stories, which I thought would be pretty funny.
00:20:41
Speaker
um Okay, so here's the first one. um Okay.
Wedding Stories and Mishaps
00:20:45
Speaker
At my cousin's wedding, i paid my, I don't know what a dollar dance is. So someone has to tell me what this is, but I paid my dollar during the dollar dance to dance with her new husband.
00:20:54
Speaker
It was really hot and he was really sweating, like dripping on the floor, sweaty. When we were dancing, he tried to spin me, slipped on his own sweat and pulled down my strapless dress.
00:21:05
Speaker
Only one boob fell out, but it was still one too many. Yeah. Luckily, everybody was nice enough to pretend they didn't even notice and has never mentioned it to this day, even 14 years later.
00:21:17
Speaker
Stop. I know. Oh my God. I think a dollar dance is kind of when the guy, it's kind of like when they do the garter, when they like do like the Chippendales dance.
00:21:29
Speaker
Oh, I think that's what it is. I could totally be wrong though, but that is honestly mortifying. My mom was asking if we're doing the garter situation and I was like, yeah no, he's not going under my skirt. That's That's way too, for me, that's like so sexual to do that in front of like everybody. Like, I don't know. that just like i giggle when he does that behind closed doors. Like when he does anything with him, I giggle like a little school girl. Like I am not doing that in front of my freaking grandmother who's 90 years old.
00:21:58
Speaker
you will You'll put her in the grave. Like she'll have a heart attack. Between that and a tattoo. No. Yeah. Like that's way too much stimulus for her. She's like, okay, I knew you were American, but this is too much. do This is too American for me. Sorry. Yeah. i I have to agree. If I was doing a big ceremony, I probably would not do that. And like also like, okay, question. Here's a question. Probably the answer is no.
00:22:19
Speaker
um I'm guessing because it's a small wedding. Are you allowing kids at your wedding? no yeah We have one child. She is my niece. She's the only baby in our family. She is the flower girl.
00:22:32
Speaker
And she is the most well-behaved baby I've ever met. And that's the only reason why she is invited. and Hey, you're the well-behaved baby. Everybody else can suck it. Well, a lot of my partner's friends are married and have kids because they're like all military um like families. And so they got married really young. so all their kids are older.
00:22:52
Speaker
and they were like, well, so there's no kids invited? And he's like, well... There's one kid, but she's the exception. There are no other kids other than that And I'd be like, there are no children allowed at my wedding. And look, I was a teacher.
00:23:04
Speaker
i worked in like childcare my whole life. I love kids. I don't love them more than my wedding day. Yeah. no No, no, I hear you. i hear you. I know this is like a very controversial sub or I think it's a very controversial subject because some people are like, well, how could then you like parents need to find day like care for the kids. Exactly.
00:23:23
Speaker
then not be exactly like and But you know what? by me I think if I was you, I'd feel the same way. it its Since we eloped, I'm okay with like for our like little family ceremony that we're going to do. I'm totally fine with them bringing kids because we already got married. Like, but if it was like the first time, fuck no. Like you're not.
00:23:41
Speaker
I've heard horror stories of kids like running down the aisle and like messing up like video know doing crazy stuff. Yeah. I've seen videos and somebody was doing their first dance and this kid was like dancing on the dance floor when the first dance was going on. And I was like, look, I would kick, I mean, this these aren't my words, this is my partner's word, but I would kick that kid into next week.
00:24:03
Speaker
Just like spin, spin, kick. Yeah. but yeah no that's i mean because i think that like people like listen i love my daughter i love her to death i think she's a cutest little child on the whole planet do i think everybody else should feel that way of course but they don't because it's not their kid you know what i mean and like you have to like and parents like parents sometimes have just no boundaries with their kids like they don't they i mean can't believe they wouldn't pull that kid off the dance floor and like respect the couple's time they're probably like oh it's so cute. Meanwhile, like your kid's ruining this once in a lifetime moment for this couple. And I find that to be so rude.
00:24:41
Speaker
um So yeah, to prevent any of that stuff, like no kids. I get it. Totally. 100%. Yeah. yeah oh man man, listen, I'm for that. Look, because at the end of the day, this is like said, once in a lifetime moment.
00:24:55
Speaker
And if if you're a people pleaser, maybe you're like, oh, I feel bad. People want to bring their kids. But you know, it's like, this is your moment. Like, do what you want. That's going to preserve it. And so you can get good photos. you can have a good time and not be like, you know, stressed. like And if that means like saying no to kids, no to kids.
00:25:12
Speaker
You know, it's like an adult party environment too. People are drinking, like, you know, having good time. Like, that's not necessarily good for a kid to be around that anyway. You know what I mean? So like, totally fine. Are you tired of feeling stuck in cycles of anxiety, depression, or self-doubt?
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00:26:21
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00:27:00
Speaker
So if you are a service provider or a coach and definitely not a lawyer, visit www.coachesandcompany.com slash REF slash ConfessionsPod today. to get your contracts in order, or just go ahead and click the link in the show notes and it'll take you right there. Okay, so here's another one. And this is also, it's and because I also want to talk about this, um which is like the the speeches stuff. Okay.
00:27:25
Speaker
So this person said, I'm a wedding photographer and easily the worst was when the father of the groom, apparently totally sober, gave a 10 minute toast that devolved into openly complaining that his son got to have sex with the bride and he didn't.
00:27:40
Speaker
And this was a, this wasn't a mistimed joke about how pretty she was. This was a full on lament about growing old and how women didn't find him attractive anymore. And then all he wanted was to take his daughter-in-law to bed.
00:27:55
Speaker
Oh my God, wait, that gives me the ick. A huge ick. Like, why is it that some of these people, like, first of all, he was entirely sober. So I have so many questions about his mental health and sanity. no excuses.
00:28:09
Speaker
But like, ah why like Why do people take like these opportunities to make speeches, and usually very drunk, and just say the most out-of-pocket shit? like This is not time for your personal confessions. This is not time for, like let's like talk about embarrassing moments that happen to like the bride or the groom and like humiliate them. like I see that happen all the time. It's wild.
00:28:34
Speaker
I know that is insane to me. I mean, the confession in and of itself, but just also saying that in that kind of setting is wild. In public, like in public.
00:28:44
Speaker
id be Are you going to have people doing speeches at your wedding? Nope.
00:28:50
Speaker
Just prevent the catastrophe before it happens. Everyone's there to have a good time, drink, and get fucking stuffed to the brim. We have food coming out every hour. And that's all I want for them. The only people that are giving a speech is me thanking everybody. Jay will not be speaking because he does not like public speaking. And I'd love to yap. So it's perfect. We're perfect match made in heaven.
00:29:12
Speaker
Yeah. And then my father-in-law will be giving a prayer because he's a pastor. So he's going to bless the meal. And my dad will give a welcome speech or like a thank you speech.
00:29:25
Speaker
And that's it. And then my sister-in-law will be giving a toast. Everyone will be keeping things under a minute. except for me because probably get the memo well you know what you're allowed to be it's your day you take all the time you need and like but i understand listen if you're going to diane's wedding there are rules strict timelines someone will be timing you and giving you a heads up when you have 10 seconds left and then they're cutting the mic no they're like the oscars that's literally what's happening I love this. And I saw on Instagram that you shared, you have personalized pizza boxes for like late night meals. What? Yes.
00:30:00
Speaker
Everyone gets a pizza. I'm not going to be there. my God. To be fair, I did invite her just so everybody knows. No, you did. I, I live, it's my daughter's birthday at the same time. And she's ah literally across the world. So I don't blame her.
00:30:14
Speaker
I would know. I would have flown. would have flown for this if like, I did not have a child and it was birthday. Yes. I promise. Yeah. I believe you. I believe you. Yeah, but everyone gets to take home a pizza at the end of the night to soak up all the alcohol.
00:30:30
Speaker
Love that. That's so smart. And like the thing too about Diane that I love that draws us together in this close tight knit friendship of mental health and wellness and, you know, coolness um is your love of food. Like your love of, you're a foodie just like me.
00:30:47
Speaker
So like, I know your food is going fucking slap. And that's one of the major reasons besides, obviously i want to see you get married. That's one of the major reasons I'm really sad. I'm miss out on this.
00:30:57
Speaker
It's, I mean, that's totally fair. Yeah. Yeah. What is your favorite thing that's going to be served? Do you have a favorite? Lobster rolls. Fuck yes. lobster rolls. The demi-lobster rolls. They're like the hors d'oeuvres. So they're like tiny. I'm going to pop them bitches into my mouth after I get married. It's going to be so fucking good.
00:31:13
Speaker
Oh my God. Give me 20. Give me 30 of those. swear to God. There's nothing better than a good fucking lobster roll and you cannot get that. so good. You can't. It's so good. Oh yeah.
00:31:24
Speaker
I bet. Yeah. Maybe it's not too late. Maybe I can like have her birthday and then just like take a like a 24 hour trip. You know, that's that's the possibility. Oh my God. Yeah. Just wait. I will be, ah i will be on a plane for those yeah lobster. Absolutely. ah Okay. Let's see. We have time for maybe one more or two more. Let's see. Okay.
00:31:45
Speaker
So this one is, this is not my story, but my friends. And actually it was at her cousin's wedding reception. When the guests sat down at the tables, everyone had an envelope on a plate with pictures of the bride in a compromising situation. Probably like,
00:32:01
Speaker
don't know with the best man, the bride cheated on the groom, both when they were dating and when they were engaged, which he found out shortly before their wedding, the groom had no mercy. And I respect that.
00:32:12
Speaker
So the groom put the pictures out. Wait, that's so, okay. So somebody was asking if I'm doing a photo slideshow, like, and people can contribute. I was like, why the fuck would I give up that kind of control on the way?
00:32:25
Speaker
Fair, fair. Like you what they're goingnna put in there. ah sure No, that's crazy that the groom would do that. I mean, it's also kind of similar to when women are like, do not shove the cake into my face. I paid like a thousand dollars for this makeup.
00:32:39
Speaker
And then the groom does it anyways, because they think it's hilarious. And I talked to my partner about it and he was like, why? He's like, I wouldn't even do that at home. Do you think I would do that when you're wearing that expensive ass dress?
00:32:50
Speaker
Yeah. I was like, see, you get it. Like girlhood. oh my God. Facts. No, he really gets you. I love that. yeah And he gets it. He just gets it, you know? Yes, exactly. But I love these wedding confessions and I love talking about my wedding because I know that this going to be the one and only time i get to do it. I'm getting FOMO for like a little bit of FOMO. I can't wait to have my like my like fake wedding wedding. No, it's not a fake wedding. It's a celebration. It's a celebration. Okay. So we'll end with this one. This is pretty funny.
00:33:19
Speaker
Um, okay. so So, my, he said, my cousin was arrested at my wedding reception. He decided to steal a golf cart at the country club where the reception was held.
00:33:31
Speaker
Oh, golf carts are really expensive. Yeah. i didn't know you can get arrested for that. Um, well, it's so yeah it's private property. That's true. Yeah, that would be a nightmare.
00:33:41
Speaker
I feel like things can get very rowdy at at weddings, but it sounds like you have yours under control. So I'm i'm looking forward to hearing how it goes. don't know. I have like 10 Marines coming, so we'll see how these go.
00:33:53
Speaker
Either it'll be law and order or total chaos. Yes, but I do know that Jay has like a pretty strong grip on all of them. So they're like, you better be on your best fucking behavior or else. Amazing. oh my God. Well, I know that um it's going to be an amazing time. Can't wait to see photos. And we will see you when you're back from your honeymoon. And next week we'll have a guest, special guest.
00:34:15
Speaker
um i I don't know who that is yet, but I will find, i will pick one. And then Diane will be back from our honeymoon and we'll jump back in with more episodes. But yeah congratulations. This is your wedding week. I can't wait for you to like enjoy this. And you'll be a wife when you get back. So I'll be a wife.
00:34:35
Speaker
Wifey. All right, guys. Yeah, we'll see you soon. And until next time, we love you. Bye. Bye.