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40 Plays5 months ago
Welcome to the Doorknob Confessions Podcast! In today’s episode, we’re covering the LA fires, the whirlwind 14-hour TikTok ban, psychology hacks for actually following through with your New Year’s resolutions, and of course… our first JUICY anonymous confession all about cheating in relationships and getting back with exes.
You won’t want to miss it!
New episodes drop EVERY WEDNESDAY.
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If you or anyone you know is a victim of the recent Los Angeles fires, here are 5 organizations that are providing aid and support. These organizations are actively working to provide relief, recovery, and rebuilding assistance. If you're looking for help or want to contribute, visiting their websites is the best way to get involved.
1. American Red Cross – The Red Cross is offering shelter, food, health services, and emotional support to wildfire victims. They have mobilized volunteers to help those displaced. Visit: [www.redcross.org](https://www.redcross.org/)
2. California Community Foundation's Wildfire Recovery Fund – This fund provides both immediate relief and long-term support for individuals who have lost homes and belongings due to the fires. Visit: [www.calfund.org/wildfire-relief-fund](https://www.calfund.org/wildfire-relief-fund/)
3. Los Angeles Fire Department Foundation – This foundation supports firefighters by providing them with essential equipment and resources to combat wildfires and protect communities. Visit: [www.supportlafd.org](https://www.supportlafd.org/)
4. World Central Kitchen – Founded by Chef José Andrés, World Central Kitchen provides meals to wildfire victims, displaced residents, and first responders. Visit: [www.wck.org](https://www.wck.org/)
5. California Fire Foundation – This organization provides financial assistance to both wildfire victims and firefighters. Their relief fund supports those impacted by the fires throughout California. Visit: [www.cafirefoundation.org](https://www.cafirefoundation.org/)
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Get ready for 7 days of all-inclusive luxury and fun— horseback riding, hiking, exploring medieval castles, yoga, crafting, pajama parties, organic chef-prepared meals, all while staying in a gorgeous 18th century chateau.
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Transcript
Introduction and Podcast Launch
00:00:06
Speaker
Hello, hello you guys. Welcome to the first ever episode of Doorknob Confessions. I'm your host, Gabby, and Diane is here as well. We are co-hosting this beautiful thing together. Say hi, Diane.
00:00:22
Speaker
Hello, hello, so excited. I'm so excited to get started on this. I'm so excited. Diane and I have known each other for a hot minute and we're both in the wellness space and both LA girlies and we are friends obviously and we've been talking about doing something like this for a little bit of time and finally, you know, 10 months postpartum.
00:00:44
Speaker
after moving to France and getting my shit together. I'm able to do it and Diane now as well, she's super busy. So we're just really glad to have you all here and we hope you are ready for some really fun conversations, some really juicy confessions that will be at the end of every episode. We're super excited to go into those um and we want to hear from you. So please leave us a comment, DM us um on Instagram or wherever you Take in social media, we're everywhere, TikTok, Facebook, ah Red Note, if you're into that, and ah YouTube as well. So please let us know how you enjoy it, if you have any questions or if you have any confessions you would like us to talk about on the show. We would love to hear from you.
Impact of LA Fires on Diverse Communities
00:01:31
Speaker
So before we jump into today's episode, I think we have to acknowledge because we are l LA girlies, um what's been going on in LA. These insane, insane fires that apparently um you were saying are not done, which I thought they were done. It's been like three weeks. um But how are you? Are you near them? What are your thoughts?
00:01:54
Speaker
Yeah, it's been crazy, dude. Like, the fires are just insane. And we were just talking about how I laugh at inappropriate conversations. Like, I'm the person who will laugh at a funeral. And not because it's funny, but just because it's like, life is life. And it's something to just laugh about. I mean, it's awful, right? Like, I know so many people who have lost homes in the l LA fires. We were really close to losing our family home ah where my parents live. And so we were really close to the Pasadena fires.
00:02:24
Speaker
but they're still going on and you know I've been in l LA my entire life and the fires have never been as widespread as they are this year and a lot of people are saying that you know with the climate change that's going on in the world but also like we're catching people who are starting these fires like arsonists are starting these fires left and right that's that's wild it's so scary um and it's just honestly like when I saw that just rude just plain rude truly No, they're canceled. They're done. We're done with you. I saw videos of that on TikTok and I was like blown away. I saw actually multiple videos of multiple different people setting fires and getting caught by like neighbors and good Samaritans. And my only thought is just like, why? Like why? Like what are you trying to accomplish? And I've heard like this discourse
00:03:13
Speaker
that really pisses me off because I lived in l LA for 15 years. You've been there for 27 years. You know that it's not just celebrities and wealthy people that live there. I'm sorry. I know that there are a lot of people online, a lot of chatter, a lot of keyboard warriors, you know and like and even people like doing podcasts like this who have said, well, ah LA had it coming, all those rich people.
00:03:36
Speaker
LA had this coming. It's karma. like some stupid shit like that and it's so ignorant excuse me because like it really upsets me because LA is a very big place and it's home to so many different people it is not just Beverly Hills it's not the Hollywood Hills it's not just Malibu okay it's a lot of normal people families workers like everybody you know it's a big big place and a lot of people who lost their homes are just like regular people so please have some compassion you know because it's like a huge catastrophe for so many people
00:04:11
Speaker
Yeah, 100%. And I think like what people don't realize, if you are not from l LA, or if you've never lived in LA, for you to say that like, l LA had it coming, like it's just full of rich people, you truly don't know what LA is like, I would say the majority of LA are full of hard working people, a lot of immigrants come to l LA because there's a lot of culture here and so to see people online have no compassion for something that is honestly like mortifying to that's happening to the community. It's also been really cool to see how the LA community are coming together, banding together so many volunteers. um I know people in my area were donating food and they were allowing people like neighbors that they have no idea like who they are to just come into their home to charge their devices and so
00:04:56
Speaker
It's been really interesting to see kind of those dynamics play while like the social or like the online discourse is just quite literally the opposite. Just no compassion at all. yeah it's It's pretty wild, but I think you're making a really good point. which is like This has really brought together our our community in a way I've never seen. like truly Even with the other fires you know that have happened in the past, the Woolsey Fire was a pretty big one and some other ones. This has really united so many people and one of the things
00:05:27
Speaker
to that I think was so beautiful was that I forget where this was. Maybe this was this is something you can check out Producer Nick for us. um But there was a big donation site at some one of the arenas or something and they had so many donations. They actually had to turn away more donations.
00:05:47
Speaker
What an amazing thing. like What an amazing thing that there's just too much to give. you know And that's a good problem to have in a situation like this. I'm glad your family home was okay. I'm glad you're okay. I'm glad your parents okay are okay in your family. And if you are listening and you have been affected by the fires, or if you just want to help out, we're going to drop some support in the ah notes of the podcast. So some resources and and things for donating and places to get some help.
00:06:17
Speaker
um Oh, yeah, Nick is saying it was Red Cross. It was the Red Cross and World Central Kitchen was where they have a lot of donations. Thank you for that fact check. um You guys might hear Nick every once in a while pop in here. He's our amazing producer. So thank you, Nick, for always being on the up and up with the info. But yeah, so, you know, let's hope and pray that all of this gets kind of situated soon because you said they're still going on, right?
00:06:46
Speaker
Yeah, they're still going on. A lot of it has been contained, luckily, especially like the Eaton fires, which is in Pasadena. That is like, I would say I think it's like 80%. I have the check, but I think it's around 80% contained. The Palisades fire is what we're seeing is a little bit more difficult. The winds today and yesterday were up to 100 miles per hour. So ge it is windy. It is very windy outside. But luckily, a lot of different firefighters from outside of the state ah have come and volunteered and we're seeing a lot of that happening. I know some firefighters from Mexico came up and crossed the border and that was such a beautiful sight to see, especially with kind of like the political dynamics that are always going on between the US and Mexico. It's just been really wonderful to see everybody band together just for humanity, right? like Outside of politics, outside of what's right and wrong. like we're all coming together for each other as human beings. And I think that's what we need more of kind of in this day and age, especially. No, 100% is really, really beautiful to see everybody coming together. Because at the end of the day, like, look, we are all human beings on this planet trying to coexist. And I think when we start to see each other more as a, like, one species, and we're
00:08:01
Speaker
not just people from different places, the world will be a better place. you know And it's sad that it really takes like these big tragedies and catastrophes to make us all wake up and realize that we're all here for the same thing, which is to live a happy life. and and to try and find some kind of peace and, you know, joy and all of those good things. um And yes, 23,000 acres, Nick is saying, 23,000 acres has been burned. So, you know, just really hard. I was crying the other day about it, like scrolling on TikTok, just seeing all of these places and communities that
00:08:37
Speaker
you know, I used to visit or spend time and just completely gone. So, so yeah, if you guys are feeling like you either need support or you'd like to donate, please check out our podcast
TikTok Ban and Its Emotional Impact
00:08:48
Speaker
notes. We'll have some links for you there. And our hearts and prayers really go out to everybody. And I hope you stay safe over there. Yeah, 100%.
00:08:58
Speaker
um And speaking of LA, I think this is a good segue. There are a lot of influencers in l LA. I used to be one of them. You are one of them. um It is the land of influencers and regular folks, as we mentioned, too. um But speaking of influencers, can we talk about this TikTok fan? Like, real quick?
00:09:18
Speaker
Um, my livelihood literally went and came back in a span of 12 hours. That was a big roller coaster ride for me. No, but I mean, I don't think like people who are not on tech talk, like don't realize like, like it is people's livelihoods, like people's entire.
00:09:35
Speaker
businesses and their lives depends on the social media app, whether you're a creator being paid for videos, or you're running your small business through TikTok shop, or you're marketing your small business, like just using the platform. um You know, I mean, it's like, it's insanity. And I went through such an emotional roller coaster in those 14 hours. Like I think like, you know, like I think my mom and everybody in the house was like, are you okay? Like I was so disassociated and just like so depressed.
00:10:05
Speaker
um and just like kind of worried about what this all means in terms of like free speech and you know why this app and not other apps you know are being like censored or being shut down you know and it all was just really traumatizing. Yeah and I think it's like it's so crazy because you know, we live in America and like the number one thing is like you can, you know, say whatever you want to say. And then this app is like, there's one app that everyone is actually benefiting from truly like more so than I've seen with any other like meta or, you know, Twitter, whatever the case may be. I mean, I know so many people besides me that literally just live off of TikTok based off of like their income and their businesses, but also on the other side of the consumer end,
00:10:52
Speaker
I know so many of my clients, my friends, TikTok is their safe space. like They find community, they find connection, they find play and joy, things that I don't think are as prevalent in other apps because of its playful nature and also like its very specific algorithm, which is what I think they wanted to get rid of.
00:11:13
Speaker
Yeah, no, really. I mean, I think that's that's a good point. You know, it's it is kind of this, and I felt this way too, like after it kind of like shut down, um I felt like my safe space or like my community space with all these people that feel like family, even though I don't, these parasocial relationships that we have, I felt like that had been taken away. And that I think hurt more than anything else and felt worse than anything else. It's not just like, oh, I can't see content. It's like,
00:11:40
Speaker
Oh no, these people who like brought me joy, these creators who have really funny characters and skits that they do that I absolutely love. um you know they they gave me so much joy in my day to day, especially like during times, like postpartum was fucking rough. Like, I mean, anybody who's gone through it, like, I don't know one person that I've talked to that they were like, oh my God, like postpartum was just the best. Like I loved my postpartum. No, no, you're first of all, you're lying. Second of all, like, I mean, I'm sure it ranges, right? Like some people have like horrible postpartum depression and anxiety and really, really, really, really struggle.
00:12:21
Speaker
Um, and some people like do better, you know, it just depends on factors, right? Um, my postpartum was rough and there were so many moments because this is my first baby. And I just had her in April for those of you guys listening and don't know, um, I just had her and I'm, I live in France, my family's in America, you know, my husband's family is there, but they live about 12 hours by car. So it's not like we have a community. or like any like kind of support where we are so that postpartum period for me was really rough not only was i like on this steep learning curve of like what the fuck do i do this this thing that i brought home from the hospital like oh my god like i have to keep it alive and like i don't know what i'm doing um
00:13:03
Speaker
Like, learning all of that and the amount of anxiety that Cup came with that was really crazy, but also not having a support system. um You know, like, and we did have family that visited, and that was really helpful, but when they left, that's when things got really rough, right?
00:13:17
Speaker
and so um I would go on TikTok and I found like the moms on TikTok with babies that were close to my baby's age and they were sharing like, oh, this is a tip or this is a trick or um here's how I deal with postpartum anxiety. I have pretty bad postpartum depression and anxiety.
00:13:36
Speaker
um And this they were like, this is what I do, or this is how I'm feeling today. And sometimes they would just cry like and be like, today is not a good day. And I felt so much less alone. And it really, like, TikTok in that sense helped me really get through that postpartum period that was just really dark for me and really, really rough. And of course, there were wonderful moments too. But um but yeah, it was a struggle. And I learned so much from these other moms. And when all of those moms were gone, because like the TikTok closed down, um I was like, fuck, like I didn't even realize how much that impacted my life until I didn't have it anymore. so you know I think we find our communities in these spaces and the algorithm is so and incredibly accurate and and just homes in on exactly who you need to see. um
00:14:25
Speaker
that you know it just is it's it's a very unique space if you're not on it and i always highly recommend you check it out but like how is it for you because that's kind of been my that's my experience and like how i connect with it but like for you i don't know what where you connect with it well i think like TikTok initially, I was so against it. And before I did my business, I was a teacher. And that's kind of how I learned about TikTok. All these kids were like, I'm a song, like you need to check out this app. like okay i And I remember hopping on it and just being like, this is so chaotic in the best way possible. It felt like organized chaos.
00:15:05
Speaker
and it just it felt like food for my soul because you get to like connect with people on things that you thought was like an original experience. You know, have you have you ever seen that on TikTok? We're like, Oh, I have no original thought or experience in my life. Yeah, those get me every time. I'm like, Oh, shit, we don't have any original experiences. run someone else's hand And it's like, it's so crazy, because you don't really think about those things, because you're so busy adulting. And then you hop on TikTok. And it feels like you're a kid again, like watching Saturday morning cartoons. And
00:15:36
Speaker
That's kind of how I kind of created interest around it. And then eventually I used it as a vehicle for connecting with people who are wanting to heal. And kind of losing that community was really frustrating and almost like a grieving moment that I had to go through. Like this might not ever come back. And gosh, it was so...
00:16:01
Speaker
you know, just seeing a lot of the resistance around hopping into a different app, you know, a lot of people are like, well, there will always be new apps, just go to a new one. Well, it's like, TikTok has created so much safety, especially because it was really popular during the pandemic. And I think there's not a lot of talk around how the pandemic is still affecting us. Like I see it with students and kids, like I see it with my clients, I see it with myself,
00:16:28
Speaker
I genuinely think the world dramatically changed after the pandemic, and TikTok was a really big part of that kind of environment and that time in our lives. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. like i You know, it's so funny. like the The pandemic feels like a fever dream. like Sometimes I forget.
00:16:49
Speaker
And I think that's my like traumatized brain like completely compartmentalizing things. um you know No, number one, we're still not OK. We're so not OK. We have not recovered. i mean it's like As someone who specializes in trauma, like it's like I can tell you this is going to affect generations to come. um It's changed the fabric of society and culture as we know it.
00:17:11
Speaker
And TikTok was really such a safe space during the pandemic for all of us to kind of connect and still find some meaning and play and also to get news because it's a really great source of, um you know, in the moment, what's happening and, you know, around the world and seeing live videos and seeing things for ourselves. and It's just it's a really a magical connector and you know, we'll see what happens. I have been seeing some some posts that make me laugh, but also I agree with that people have the ick after coming back to the app because something feels
00:17:46
Speaker
off. Like something feels different. The algorithm feels different. Something feels weird. I don't know. Like, but I think something changed. I feel like something changed. I don't know. Do you feel like it's changed on your end or? Okay. So like, I haven't seen it everywhere. And I'm like, can we just all be grateful that it's back? I don't feel like there's any grateful diet. No, I, okay. well Listen, I'm grateful. I'm grateful. I'm grateful. I'm grateful. If you're listening to this TikTok, I'm so grateful. Stay, please stay. Um, but No, but there's but I'm getting the ick, I'm getting the ick. I don't know why it's showing me random shit. my algorithm My For You page is not the way it was. And I don't i don't know why. It's just, okay, it's like it's like, okay, it's like this. It's like, it's like you have ah you have a child and they like disappeared. And then one day they show back up at your door, but they're not your child. Does that make sense? like They're like, they're possessed.
00:18:52
Speaker
It's not a No, it's not a stupid example. It's just, I mean, yes, I agree. I mean, I went through so many emotions just now. I think that the TikTok I think the roller coaster of emotions that they put us on, and then still, us, we don't know if it's actually gonna stay. yeah I think the ban, yeah, the ban is 75 days of extending it. So it's not for sure that it's actually back. We don't know what it's gonna, like, what's happening. I can't go through this again in 75 days.
00:19:24
Speaker
I can't like my mental health my mental health is gonna it's gonna snap it's gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna crash out as they say the young kids these days somebody was saying that like what we just went through with tiktok was like a really bad day on like hinge or tender water red flags and we're ignoring them and we're just continuing to like gaslight ourselves and just stay with them probably the most accurate description not like a possessed child but just like a i mean if if it's personal for you it's personal for you It's so personal for me. I also have a lot of feelings right now, and I'm not sure if the ick is just because now my trauma brain is activated and it doesn't trust what's going on. So that's what I'm thinking it is. That's my theory. We just went through literally a roller coaster of emotions, and now we're like, okay, can I trust this again? Is this something I can really face again and again and again? I feel like this is the third year saying that the battle is going to happen.
00:20:20
Speaker
Yeah, i i my heart can't take it. Oh, producer Nick, always coming in clutch with the ah with the facts here. So he's he just sent over this that basically says like that people are reporting changes to their 4U page. So I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. So the 4U page is like shifting and ah you know potentially having more censorship and like alterations to the algorithm. um Although TikTok has, OK, they've officially denied implementing any changes. I don't know.
00:20:51
Speaker
Well, I mean, here's the thing too, they could easily have not changed it. But them shutting something off and then turning it back on could have just maybe like, reset the algorithm or like did something funky with it. Yeah. But I am getting a lot more videos like politically, but I don't know if that's just like the time of year and like, you know, duration just happened. I don't know.
00:21:11
Speaker
I don't know. I don't want to see it. I want to see my weird characters and skits of like the pick me girl. And did you see everything was doing these like crazy, like, like confessions because they thought TikTok was going away. I follow this one creator. I forget his name, but he's like Australian and actually he's not. He's from like Chicago. He's not Australian. Like the entire time he's been doing, I feel first of all lied to, but second of all, wow, that's impressive. He kept it up for like years. And he's like, yeah, like here's my confession.
00:21:41
Speaker
I'm from Chicago, not Australian. I was like, nerd.
00:21:48
Speaker
Nerd, you know, from Australia. It was heartbreaking, but also genius. um That's so, and all these, like for me, I'm getting a lot of, oh, actually all those workouts that I gave you to claim all the weight I lost. Yeah. Never did just work out. I got life out. I was like, wait, what? That is wildest. Oh my God. I saved so many workouts on that app. Now I can't trust any of them. I'm like, Oh, I will get an ass like hers. Let me, so let me do that like three times a week. And she's like, no, it's like, ass is not muscle
00:22:25
Speaker
getting Liars. Liars. You should all be ashamed of yourself. Liars. I have like 200 workout videos saved. By the way, I've never done one of them. That's my confession. I feel like that's a very common, relatable confession that we can all resonate with. Yeah. ah we goingnna We're giving it a pass.
00:22:44
Speaker
yeah or yeah I love you. Okay. Well, tick tock ban. Please don't go away. Tick tock. We love you. Please don't sell yourself to meta. We fucking hate Mark Zuckerberg or I do. I just, I don't know if you do, but I do. Don't please do not sell to Elon Musk. That guy is like, I don't know. He's so weird. He's like that weird kid in school that like, you know, like doesn't talk and like, looks like, I don't know, like he hit his head really hard and then like never recovered. I don't know. he He gives me the ick. He gives me the creeps. Oh, and Kevin O'Leary, I saw Nick. Yeah, thanks for that. I saw he was trying to buy. I don't hate Mr. Wonderful, but I also think he's obnoxious as hell. And I think he waxes like you know like his like bald scalp because it's so shiny for nothing. I don't understand that. I feel like he buffs it every morning. He buffs it every morning. He's so shiny. I bet no he pays somebody to buff it every morning. Oh yeah. There's no way he's doing it himself. No way. That bald head is way too strong. I wonder if they wake up every day and they're like, I have to buff Kevin O'Leary's head. They probably get paid bank to buff.
00:23:49
Speaker
I wonder if we can pay for something like that. Oh my God, okay, we're talking about this too long. Well, anyway, we're glad TikTok's back. We'll see if it's the same or not the same, but I'm still gonna be on it because I'm addicted. ah Sorry. And and that's on TikTok.
Camp Yugen and Realistic Self-Improvement
00:24:11
Speaker
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00:24:45
Speaker
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00:26:08
Speaker
So every new year, I feel like there's this narrative and I have qualms about this narrative of like new year, new me, let's do 75 hard first thing in the morning after we're getting back home from holidays and eating all the food that we're eating during the holiday season. And we wonder why flu season is in the winter, you guys. It's because we're spending all of our time eating this crap and then forcing ourselves to then eat extremely healthy going all the way on the other end.
00:26:34
Speaker
just leaving us feeling empty and making us feel shitty about ourselves for not doing, quote unquote, the best of what that looks like on social media. Yeah, we're basically doing like a hard detox and then like throwing and a million things at ourselves like to improve our mental health, our physical health, like our family life, our romantic life, our sexual life, um our community giving, lot like whatever it is.
00:26:58
Speaker
I hate it too. I think first of all, it puts so much pressure on January being this like, change your whole life month, you know, and for most people, like even dry January, like all of that, like lasts maybe for like two weeks before people start going back into old habits, because you're not you're not actually like you're trying to implement too many changes at one time. You're trying to do too much at once. You know what I mean? Like you can't do 75 hard, then also dry January, then also like, you know, go into like improving your mental health, like and doing like a bunch of like trauma healing work and also like eating completely clean. Like you're going to get sick like on all levels. Um, and it's unrealistic. And so like nobody really
00:27:42
Speaker
changes. like You might have like small changes, and I shouldn't say nobody, but like most of us end up just reverting back into old ways and old habits and old things, um which can be really discouraging. you know And I think like I'm guilty of falling into that trap, for sure, of being like, huge new year, new me. But like it isn't really about being a new person. It's just about like finding a way to take incremental steps to create a life that you actually want. Yeah.
00:28:11
Speaker
Yeah, and I think like to a lot of these, you know, extreme ways or anyone call it extreme, but just like very black and white ways of approaching health and getting into the best version of yourself. A lot of that feels very shame driven. And when we do things that are driven through shame, it very rarely is a sustainable option. That's why I think it's to the first, I think the second Monday of the month is labeled as quitters day.
00:28:38
Speaker
because everybody quits their New Year's resolution. Really? That's a thing. Yeah, it's like a thing. like it's like It's called Quitters Day and people say that all the New Year's resolutions typically end after two weeks. And I think that the theory behind that is just we're doing too much all at once to create change. And I think when we do things based off of shame, instead of genuine love and respect for ourselves, change doesn't end up happening.
00:29:04
Speaker
Yeah, a hundred percent. And you know, from like a psychological perspective, shame is like one of the most powerful emotions that we can experience and actually our unconscious spends a lifetime trying to avoid shame at all costs. Right. And so if we're experiencing, like, if we're like trying to make changes from a place of shame, it's never going to stick. You can't hate your way into healing.
00:29:29
Speaker
You can't like bully yourself into getting better because it actually puts your entire nervous system into a shutdown. It does because shame affects our nervous system. It affects the way our brain, you know, works and is wired. And so the best thing you can do is actually shift and kind of look at it like i'm not like i' I'm not doing this because I feel bad about myself and i' I hate where I am or I hate my body or I hate you know yada yada yada the way I behave or whatever it might be or my life sucks like you know and I did this to myself and whatever like kind of self-criticism you have or blame or shame and all of that. like Instead of looking at it like that and trying to use it as a motivator, look at it like, you know what? like I actually really love where I am because
00:30:14
Speaker
this is just me and this is my life and it's not ideal. It's not where I want to be in the end. Um, and so like, I'm going to support myself and give myself some, a break and some compassion and kind of like, look where I can improve 1%. And I posted this like the other day, it's like 1% improvement, the 1% improvement theory, the way to get like real sustainable change is not only to switch it out of a shame based inspiration, um, but also just focus on improving 1%.
00:30:42
Speaker
do not focus on doing all of it at once. It will be overwhelming and you will not be able to do everything. um And so 1% better. So how can you like, Do 1%, like make this day like 1% better. How can you take 1% action towards whatever the goals that you have are? um And then before you know it, like so like time has passed and you're climbing this mountain, all of a sudden you're halfway you're halfway there. And you will feel very proud of yourself. So just focus on like the 1% incremental changes you can make every day and just let them kind of add up over time, like be patient and don't expect everything to happen overnight. It's not like,
00:31:20
Speaker
you know January 1st hits and all of a sudden you're going to be a new person. like Don't put that expectation on yourself because also that will bring shame and will make you shut down as well because you're you're not reaching the goals that you set for yourself, which are, first of all, unrealistic. And then you're going to shut down and go, well, it's not worth it. I'm just going to like go back to what I was doing because you know this is just not working out.
00:31:40
Speaker
Right. Like going all in and then completely giving up and completely reverting back. It's like, is there an in-between that we can find? Because I mean, discipline is legitimate, right? Like we do need to create change in order to like actually notice the changes that are happening in our life.
00:31:55
Speaker
And I think in our kind of black and white society that we live in, it's very difficult for us to find that balance of like, Oh, if I'm not doing 75 hard, that means I'm not going to change my life. And it's like, no, how can we create micro steps? And I always say that like, as you were saying, Gabby, like the 1% changing.
00:32:13
Speaker
those changes compound onto each other, right? Like 1% doesn't just become 2%, 2% doesn't become 3, it's like 1% maybe it becomes 2, and then 2 becomes 4. And that just continues to go on and on. But we find so much ah pressure to do big things, to do dramatic things in order to feel a sense of accomplishment, which is why when we do things driven by shame, that can kind of put us in a sticky situation. Yeah, 100%.
00:32:40
Speaker
you know and you know I'm just thinking back on like these last like few years, I've wanted to make so many different changes in my life. and and like I had to really give myself grace because but I was going through a lot. like I was going through a lot emotionally. like i had You know, back in twenty the end of 2023, I had ended like an engagement and like an eight year relationship that was very toxic. um We had lived together for a long time, so I had to like get myself extricated from that experience. It was a really, really, really rough breakup.
00:33:15
Speaker
um And then I like went to Bali and then I decided I'm going to live there for six months. And then I fell in love with someone else and who is, you know, ended up becoming my husband and, you know, father of my child and like, he's my soulmate for sure. And, you know, ah moved to France, a totally different country. I don't speak the language, you know, like all of these adjustments. And I'm sitting there with my little journal going like, I'm going to work out five days a week.
00:33:38
Speaker
I'm gonna have smooth, I'm gonna lose 30 pounds. I'm gonna meditate every single day. And meanwhile, like I'm going through so many like life changes and I would beat myself up. I'm like, I'm a wellness coach. I'm like you know getting my doctorate in psychology. I should be like hitting all the marks. you know what i mean like i No matter what's going on in my life, I should be able to like do all the things that I set out for myself and do all the healthy things and whatever, whatever. But the thing is, like guys, like If you are going through it in your life, if you're going through major, major changes, if you're struggling with your mental health, if you're just trying to get back on your feet, like give yourself a break, maybe that 1% better or that step you can take towards working out five days a week, maybe that just means like getting out of bed and taking a shower. Maybe that's like that 1% that you can do that day improvement over yesterday where you didn't get up and take a shower. You know, like meet yourself where you are.
00:34:38
Speaker
and give yourself so much compassion and grace because like you have to approach the goals that you set for yourself and the life that you want to create for yourself in a way that's sustainable and manageable. And that means looking at where you are and kind of working from there.
00:34:55
Speaker
Don't go like look at where you wanna be and like start trying to operate as that girl. you know The girl that maybe does work out five days a week and is really fit and you know is meditating you know for an like an hour a day and journaling and you know going to therapy and meeting her friends for you know coffee or drinks or whatever and like has a bustling social life. don't Don't try to be that girl from the outset. Be the girl that you are. like If you're really depressed, if you're really going through a lot of changes, like just focus on today and like what you can do with where you are that will make it 1% better and that you're going to find like that's going to actually get you where you want to go faster than trying to immediately step into this highest version of yourself um and do all of the things that she might be doing when you're just not like you don't have the capacity and that's okay like that is life we go through shit like we go through changes and um
00:35:54
Speaker
You know, now I'm like in a place where I feel like really settled, really grounded. my It feels like the tornado of all these like upended upheavals in my life are like finally settled. And I have the capacity to do certain things in a different way and be more consistent with routines and healthy habits and things like that because I'm just able to. And that's where I am now. But I wouldn't be here if I didn't give myself that period of grace to like kind of fall around and figure it out and just do a little bit here, a little bit where I could to like make my life a little bit better. So just be patient with yourself, you guys. And yeah, that's my sermon. I love it. I mean, no, like it's so important because I think too, right?
00:36:38
Speaker
when we create changes in our life, and then we're resistant to it, the immediate dialogue, at least for me, let me know if this resonates with you, Gabby, is like, shame. It's like, oh, why the fuck can't you do this? Like get over yourself, you're being lazy, like get the fuck out of it, right right? Like, yeah, like mean inner dialogue. And what really helped me create like new habits into my life is understanding what these old habits that I'm having such a hard time letting go of, like, how are they serving me?
00:37:07
Speaker
right Because we're not doing them because we hate ourselves. like They are serving a purpose. They allow us to feel safer in some way. They allow us to feel like we can have a little bit of awareness about what's going to go on in our routines. And so understanding how these habits serve you will actually create a lot more awareness on how you can change those habits because it's not coming from a place of shame of like, you're a bad person for you know being lazy. it's Oh, you're lazy because you're probably really tired and you probably need some rest. And so let the habits that you are currently engaging in also tell you something about yourself. I love that. I love that. And it's so true. You know, if you guys are kind of listening to this and, you know, starting to think about how your quote unquote, maybe bad habits, which aren't bad.
Exploring Habits and Self-Image
00:37:55
Speaker
They're just habits. Um, current habits are serving you like journal about it. Like how is,
00:38:01
Speaker
You know, let's say you want to like, I don't know, like work out more, but you're just like not doing it. It's like, like you said, like why, like how is not doing this serving me? Well, like maybe you're staying in the same situation for a reason.
00:38:19
Speaker
I know that, you know, as an essay survivor, like a lot of times, like what happens is unconsciously you put on, you end up putting on like more weight and that happened to me because that weight felt like a protective barrier. No one would want to assault me or like, you know, I wouldn't be a target if I didn't look skinny and pretty, you know what I mean? And so like when I kind of figured out, I, cause like consciously I really didn't like that I put on so much weight after that happened, and you know, in college and when I realized like, oh, like I want to lose weight, but actually this is how it's serving me. It's like, it's been protecting me all of a sudden, kind of like my unconscious, let that go. And I was able to like work through that and actually find safety in my body, which is what I really needed to do. You know what I mean? It wasn't about losing the weight. It was like, how do I reestablish safety in my body? Right? So this is like the gentle, curious exploration that needs to happen when you are excavating
00:39:18
Speaker
you're unconscious and why you do the things that you do. There is a reason you are the way that you are. It's not anything to be ashamed about. It's not anything to blame yourself about, right?
00:39:30
Speaker
But there is a reason you do the things you do and you are the way you are. So can you start to explore those things that you maybe want to shift those aspects of yourself in a way that you're just really being compassionately curious? Well, how is this serving me? Why do I do this? How is this like benefiting me or what is it giving me that I'm afraid to let go of or resistant to changing?
00:39:58
Speaker
Yeah and I think the weight loss too is such a huge thing that resonates with a lot of women I'm sure. um Or weight gain too. I think like there were multiple points in my life and I look back and the reason why I gained weight, there's always a reason right? It's not because I was lazy but there's a deeper rooted issue like the surface level issue can easily be something related to food, or related to our habits, or related to how productive we are. But at the end of the day, it is so deeply rooted in like the in the relationship that we have with ourselves. right like How are we able to resource ourselves? Are we able to regulate our emotions without utilizing other resources to make us feel safer, make us feel better? And I know for me, food was a really, really big one. Yeah. Yeah, me too.
00:40:48
Speaker
I think that's like very relatable. I think like so many women, like, you know, we all have an ah an interesting relationship with our bodies, with food. And it's, you know, many oftentimes like very self-destructive, you know, because of our own, whatever we experience in our home, but also like at culturally and as a society, the way, um you know, historically, just like women and the way that we look and our physical appeal,
00:41:13
Speaker
um whatever is just like valued. And if you don't have a certain look or if you don't fit a certain stereotype, like you're not worthy of love, you're not worthy of, you know, success, you're not worthy of, you know, whatever good things come in this life. And it's very deeply ingrained, you know, and something that I hope we can continue to kind of work on um as we evolve and grow as a human species, hopefully, if we do.
00:41:40
Speaker
um But yeah, this is really interesting. And then the other thing I wanted to touch on too, right? So it's it's like this feels like a fine balance. You want to make changes in your life. um You want to make sustainable changes that end up becoming like permanent, right?
00:41:57
Speaker
um You have to have on the one hand, like we talked about, compassion, self-compassion and patience and grace for yourself. Not do too much all at once. Don't overwhelm yourself. Set realistic goals. Have it all written down, all of that stuff, um but give yourself kind of permission to, you know, be as consistent as you can with where you are. Now, on the other side of this, and this may be an unpopular opinion, I don't know,
00:42:27
Speaker
um you need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I'm sorry. Period. Like, you know what I mean? And I say this, listen, I say this to myself as well. Like I'm talking, I was like, bitch, Gabby, like I'm talking to you. I'm talking to you. Like you want to, you want to like, you know, look better because I gained a hundred pounds from this, uh,
00:42:48
Speaker
this pregnancy lost 50 though gotta say thank you uh you're a glue tide and walking in the park i will credit that i am taking the injections and that really helps um but like you really want to get to a certain like gabs you want to get to a certain place you're gonna have to like wake up a little earlier or you're gonna have to like show up you know even in those days like maybe you're a little tired or maybe you don't really want to um yeah Nothing is going to change if you are not going to like willing to get uncomfortable. Change is inherently fucking uncomfortable. Your brain and your unconscious, your nervous system all work against change. Why? Because change brings the unfamiliar. And the way that your brain and nervous system work is that the unfamiliar is unsafe. The unfamiliar could potentially lead to annihilation, death, pain,
00:43:37
Speaker
um all bad things and we are hardwired to avoid this at all costs. It's an evolutionary mechanism that just like has not evolved with us as we have evolved as human beings. Any kind of change that you're going to make in your life, you will face resistance. You will face massive amounts of resistance. You have to fight against that. And like I said, it's a very fine line. It's not about fighting the resistance by hating yourself or shaming yourself or pushing yourself beyond your limits and like hurting yourself or traumatizing yourself. You need to be very wary of where that line is, but it's it's pushing yourself enough, pushing yourself enough so that you can move past your body and your brain's automatic response to keep you the same because it will be uncomfortable.
00:44:24
Speaker
It will not be pleasant sometimes, but habits are built in 90 days. So if you can sit in that discomfort for 90 whole days, it will become your life. You will change and it will be long-term. So what I want to encourage you guys to do is like get comfortable being uncomfortable because nothing will change if you don't do something differently and you don't fight that resistance.
00:44:50
Speaker
and no Yeah. and And something that really helped with me, um, because there was so much resistance and you kind of get into this weird dynamic of like honor what your body wants. I'm like, you're supposed to love yourself. That gets really fucking confusing cause it's like, okay, well, am I honoring myself by like honoring the fact that I don't want to go to the gym right now? Or even though I know it's like the healthy thing to do, quote unquote. And what I found is that when we think about a kid who wants dessert for their dinner and you just,
00:45:20
Speaker
give them dessert, you know that that's not necessarily the best thing for them. You want them to eat their meal before you get the dessert. This is a very like basic example. When you do a habit like going to the gym and you know that going to the gym or moving your body will be helpful for you and everything in your body is telling you, you don't want to do it. Think about that version of you, the part of you that doesn't want to do it as a child.
00:45:44
Speaker
And you as an adult, the conscious part of your brain gets to parent yourself, right? This is why reparenting is such a beautiful thing. We get to parent that part of ourselves and go, look, I know you're really tired right now. What would it look like for us to move our body and honor it by maybe just reducing the workout to a 20 minute workout instead of a 40 minute workout. And so it's about creating those kind of inner dialogue and the dynamics within yourself. So that way you're not forcing yourself to do something, but you're also pushing yourself out of your edges and expanding your capacity and expanding your boundaries. I love that. I'm taking that and using that. I use it every time I go to the gym. for true It's really, it's, it's good because like you said before, like we live in a society and we live in a world and our brain is just wired this way. It's very black and white, right? And here we're inviting in some nuance, you know, like where can we adjust? Where can we
00:46:37
Speaker
you know, like meet ourselves where we're at while also like you said pushing our edges, you know, um you have to be willing to face this stuff. and And I think like, you know, it it is a really confusing fine line to between how do I honor myself and kind of like meet myself where I am, but also like push myself a little bit because we need to. And I know that there are so many times, and I'm sure like if you're listening, you might be able to relate, where um like I'm honoring myself by you know like just laying in bed all day and watching Netflix. and But meanwhile, I know in the back of my head, I'm like just making it an excuse. I'm just being fucking lazy. And and I don't want to do anything. and like but
00:47:27
Speaker
you know i'm being I'm living a soft girl life. I'm living a soft life because I'm traumatized." you know like Listen, be ruby so for fucking real with yourself. like I'm sorry. like You know when you're making up excuses and you're using that as an excuse, the but also ask why it is that you're so resistant to it. Get curious and see where can we slide that a little bit. Call yourself out, but respectfully.
00:47:54
Speaker
like respectfully. Okay, like, yeah, i I think that's that's good. And so you guys, let's just like not do a new year new you let's just focus on new day new habits. Like new day new habits, nuance, gentleness, but also like call yourself out on your own bullshit. um Yeah. Because like, if you really want to get anywhere in your life, anywhere. You're gonna be uncomfortable. You're gonna have to kind of challenge yourself. um Don't push yourself beyond your limit, obviously, but show up, show up, show up for you, show up for the future you, show up for the past you, show up for a little you, you know, because you'll be really, really glad that you did.
00:48:46
Speaker
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00:49:44
Speaker
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00:50:12
Speaker
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Confession Corner Segment
00:50:40
Speaker
All right, guys, we are at the final little segment, my favorite segment of the show. um It is called Confession Corner, because as you know, this is called doorknob confessions, and it would not be doorknob confessions without an actual confession. And just for context, for those of you who are not ah familiar with what a doorknob confession is, I learned this phrase um when I was in my master's program, ah learning psychology and and therapy and how to do that and all of it, you know, and
00:51:12
Speaker
they yeah They were saying, yeah, you'll have clients that do what's called a doorknob confession. And I was like, that's so interesting. What is that? So apparently, it is when you're working with a client and as a therapist and um or even as a coach and you're working with them and all the entire 45 minutes or hour that you're seeing them, they're talking about bullshit. They're talking about like stuff that's not important, stuff that doesn't matter. They're just kind of like avoiding what they really want to talk about until It time is up. They get up to leave. They touch the doorknob and they turn around and they go, oh yeah, by the way, I cheated on my husband, but we can talk about it next week. And you're like, what the fuck? Where was this 45 minutes ago? So in kind of a tongue in cheek way, we wanted to kind of bring that into the space because we're both mental health professionals. And I find that very funny. So we will be
00:52:03
Speaker
kind of talking about a confession at the end of every episode and reading it reading some out to you and then discussing it. and If you have any confessions you'd like us to discuss anonymously, of course, we will never reveal your identity. um Send it over, DM us.
00:52:19
Speaker
and We'll maybe talk about it on air. But here with our first confession from an anonymous person is Diane. Will you please read today's doorknob confession? Yes. Oh my gosh. I read this confession. I was like, this is definitely going to be the best one for the first episode because it is spicy. so The confession. I slept with someone else two weeks after me and my ex broke up and now we're about to get back together. It's a little bit more of a backstory here. My ex and I broke up in mid-December and I was absolutely devastated. We went no contact for a while and in that time I ended up hooking up with someone and honestly I don't even know why I did it but I regret it greatly. To me, it's the biggest mistake I've ever made and I never talked to the girl I hooked up with after that day again.
00:53:05
Speaker
About a week ago, me and my ex started talking again as we had agreed to reach out when we felt like we could be friends. We ended up talking and deciding that we want to be exclusive again, but not necessarily back together. But I never told her that I hooked up with someone else and I'm really worried that she will leave me when I tell her I'm just posting to vent here mostly because I'm anxious. That's all. Oh, this is, you know, this is a complicated one, right? I think I think so many of us have been in this position. We broke up with somebody, you know, and the whole adage is like, ooh, to get over somebody, get under somebody else. And you know, we tend to also be kind of like crashing out. So we're like looking for love, like somewhere, anywhere is a distraction if you're really heartbroken.
00:53:52
Speaker
um So that's messy, that's messy. And then you get back together, do you tell your partner that you were intimate with someone else? I don't know what I would, i like honestly, I don't know what I would do.
00:54:07
Speaker
um Okay, I'll be honest. I think my knee-jerk reaction is like I'm gonna take this to the grave and nobody will ever Okay, me a too. I didn't want to say it but like yeah me too. That was my knee-jerk reaction like I'll take it to the grave Right, but it's also like is this somebody that you want to spend the rest of your life with? I think that's a really big question It's like if you're dating to date and see where it goes, okay, maybe I mean, I don't think it's the best situation but You know don't ask them how situation kind of thing
00:54:35
Speaker
When it comes to like, is this person going to be in your life forever? Probably something you're going to want to talk about. And I think the longer you wait, the worse it's going to get. Yeah. and there's you know And there's also the aspect of like health. Did you use protection with this person? Are you using protection with your partner? You're like X, right? So like you could go have a one night stand with someone who has like gonorrhea.
00:54:59
Speaker
you know I was watching 90 day fiance and this guy Lawrence not to like talk about like something else, but he like hooked up with someone and he got gonorrhea and then like had to tell his actual partner um that he had gonorrhea from this like one night stand that he had, which thank God he did because I think that we really fucked up with like he didn't tell he didn't tell her.
00:55:19
Speaker
Um, but that's what I thought of, right? Like, so you could get an STD from, like, the one I stand with someone if you don't use protection, and then what, you're gonna go bring that to your ex, and then you have to explain, oh, not only did I sleep with somebody else, but I got you sick, right? So I think, like, there's a health aspect to it. It doesn't mean you have to tell them, but I think for sure get checked out if you did not use protection.
00:55:39
Speaker
um and make sure you're not like carrying over anything to your ex. And I think like you make a very good point though, like, is this a person I'm just dating to date? Or is this somebody that I really want to be serious with for the rest of my life? There's kind of this, this was an interesting thing that I learned when I was in my master's program as well. um We talked about this kind of scenario.
00:56:00
Speaker
and or cheating in general, right? And we had like some really interesting discussions where my professors were like, listen, like, If you were to cheat or if you were to have this kind of situation happen, do you think it's better to tell your partner or not? And most of us were like, I would want to know. Of course you tell your partner. And then he brought up a really interesting point, which was, well, are you telling them knowing that it's going to cause an immense amount of damage to your relationship and you want to have this relationship with them?
00:56:31
Speaker
and knowing it's gonna cause them tremendous emotional suffering are you telling them because you feel guilty and you need to relieve yourself of that guilt so that you can feel better. Right and or are you telling them genuinely because like you know you're you want them to know.
00:56:51
Speaker
And I think a lot of us pause and we're like, actually, yeah, because like that's a pretty heavy secret to carry. So is this really for the benefit of the person and the relationship by telling them, or is it more to benefit yourself so you don't carry around that guilt? And I don't know. I mean, like I don't know that there's like a right or wrong answer here, but it's something to think about. I feel like those could be synonymous as well. like The way that you show up in your relationship may most likely get heavily impacted when you have a secret. I know for me, like I mean, I've been in a relationship with the same person for almost eight years now.
00:57:25
Speaker
and I don't even like keeping his birthday present a secret because it like I just get like this weird feeling and the I'm just I suck at keeping secrets you guys I'm like the first person like I got your gift today you don't want to know what it is so like a secret to this caliber would fuck me up like I would not be able to sleep and I think it's too like it affects the way you show up in your relationship but I also think from the get-go you're restarting this relationship you guys are trying to like Take another shot at it. And if you know deep down that there's something you're keeping from this person, I imagine your ability to show up authentically in the relationship dynamic is gonna get skewed. I think it's just enough. No, that's that's actually true. and And just so you don't feel alone, I am the worst at keeping secrets. like Do not tell me, I could never work for the CIA. like we would We would be in trouble. I would be on Reddit exposing all the JFK files.
00:58:23
Speaker
I feel like, oh my god, you guys, do you want to hear about this like thing? like We have aliens. like We have them. like Do you want a picture? I have one on my phone. like Check this out. You know the tunnels under the White House? Very real. Very, very real. There's a Starbucks down there. And it's actually pretty mid, but you know we don't shop and we don't shop at Starbucks anymore. OK, I'm going to go totally off the cuff. Have you seen that video where apparently there are Starbucks underneath Los Angeles and under the tunnels? Yes. I saw this, and I don't know what to believe. A part of me is like, that could never be, but then another part of me is like, no, that makes sense. I could easily be. like That's more my hip-hop process. goes but I'm like a little conspiracy theorist over here. We have to have a whole episode on conspiracy theories, I think. This is like this is like very important. But the tunnels in LA, yeah. I mean, the underground tunnels for all the billionaires and celebrities.
00:59:16
Speaker
could be. So like, secrets eat you alive. And so like, yeah if you're okay, I think two takes, right? One is if a secret isn't eating you alive, probably should, you know, inquire within and be like, why? Am I a narcissist? Right? Like, why, why does like, keeping secrets to this caliber not affect me? And then two, if it is eating you alive, it's like, well, how can you show up authentically in a relationship to be the best version of yourself for this person that you're committing to? Yeah. and if we know you're in I agree. I think, you know, at first it's like take it to the grave, right? Like that's where my brain goes. Like, but you're, you're a hundred percent, right? Like you can't fully feel authentic or free with this on your, on your back. You know, like it would make me hell of paranoid and and oh not. yeah percent And of course that's why our knee jerk reaction is to take it to the grave because we don't want to confront the discomfort that inevitably does come up when you
01:00:12
Speaker
you know, tell the truth or and risk losing the person because they could, you know, look at that and go, you know what? I'm I'm not I don't want to do this anymore, you know? And so it is pretty I mean, it is pretty selfish to kind of hold on to it. You have to give somebody all the facts that they are empowered to make a decision for themselves whether they want to stay or leave and also for you to be able to show up fully and authentically. So I think my verdict is you got back together you need to have some kind of discussion around the fact that you did sleep with somebody and let that person have whatever, you know, response that they're gonna have, like let that person process and hold space for that and, you know, do what you can to kind of apologize and take ownership, but you can't change the past and hiding is not gonna be helpful.
01:01:03
Speaker
um Yeah. Yeah, no 100%. And I do think like, A lot of the times the kind of relationship issues and struggles that a lot of people have, I think also dwindled down to, do you have trust in yourself to know that the decision that you made with this other person, are you trusting this person, right? Like, are you truly trusting the decision that you made to choose this person to have a relationship with this person? And within all of that,
01:01:36
Speaker
Hopefully they have the capacity to love you unconditionally despite making a mistake it sounds like and moving forward from that and so You know, I think that do what you feel aligns most with like your authentic self and the way that you see this relationship coming truly. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. I agree. Well, that's a good confession. Good confession. I would love to hear what you guys think and what you would do in this situation. So definitely leave a comment um and tell us how you would handle it. You know, and if you can take it to the grave, like,
01:02:13
Speaker
and your conscience will allow you to do that. I do agree with Diane, um you should book a therapy appointment and explore what what that means for you. Because it's a little it's it is a little bit crazy. I do know some people though who can, they are like, you would think like they're the most trustworthy, nicest, kind of like, it's the quiet ones, you know, that you have to like look out for the ones that like you think are like the safest and they,
01:02:41
Speaker
I mean, they have some crazy secrets and like things that like would destroy relationships or like they've done things that like, you know, are illegal. And I'm just like, sometimes they tell me and I'm just like, wait, what? And that scares the shit out of me. Cause then I'm like, am I friends with a sociopath? Like what, like, and what does that say about me? Right. Right. Like how, how did we not know? How did we get here?
01:03:09
Speaker
But it's not us, it's them. It's not us, it's them. It's not us, it's them. Yes, yes, yes. Let's just go with that. Let's go with that. um Oh, man. Well, this has been fun. I'm glad we got to talk about all of these interesting things today. um I'm excited for our next episode. We have a really funny confession that and yeah I like did not expect to see or read. So that'll be fun. And yeah, hope you guys have a really a really good week. Welcome to Doorknob Confessions and we'll see you next time. Yeah, see you next time, guys.