Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Episode 31 How to Parent Together (Not Separately) with Your Spouse
81 Plays2 years ago
Mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Ruth here:
Connect with Pat here:
Please share Rootlike Faith with your friends!
This podcast is produced and edited by Angie Elkins Media, Inc.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Mission
00:00:00
Speaker
Hi, I'm Ruth Schwank and I'm so thrilled you're listening in with us at Root Like Faith. It is our deepest desire to encourage and equip men and women to be rooted in God's word, transformed by the love of Jesus and moved by his mission in the power of the Holy Spirit. Nothing is more important.
00:00:18
Speaker
Well, listen, we had a short break in our series over the past couple of weeks with some really great guests. But today we're picking up where we left off. So good to have you back, honey. I mean, I get lonely. I mean, I have some great guests on, but it's not the same without you. Well, I was there for the intros. So welcome back. You were. I mean. But you're back for the whole thing. For the whole thing. This is great. It's you and I. Yeah. Is that you and me or you and I? I don't know. It doesn't matter.
00:00:43
Speaker
Anyways, we are picking up where we left off in our for better or for kids mini
Parenting Theme Introduction and Humor
00:00:48
Speaker
series. So today specifically, we're going to be talking about parenting together, not separately. So it's not something that I just do or you just do, but it's something we do. We do together. So parenting together. And oh, my word. Well, who wants to start the story because we have a really funny story. I cannot wait to tell you guys this story.
00:01:11
Speaker
Honey. Well, we tell the story in our book, For Better, For Kids. I don't remember what chapter it is. Well, it must be from the chapter that we talked about, Parenting Together. Yeah. But I had a favorite pair of, they weren't khakis, but they were like gap pants. Okay, hold on. How many years ago? When I was in college. And so I bought them.
00:01:27
Speaker
probably early in my time at Moody, because you couldn't wear blue jeans back then. And they were just the perfect fit. I mean, I loved them. They were great. They were kind of this charcoal gray. And so I had them for a number of years. And it was back in, I don't remember what year that was. It would have been like 2011 maybe.
00:01:46
Speaker
So you're talking about, what is that, like 11 years after Moody? I mean, I'd had them for a decade. For a long time. You had them for a long time. Your favorite cast. They were great. They were always true to me. And they never let me down. And so I remember we were we were candidateing. I was candidateing for a senior pastor position at New Hope Community Church in Bryan, Ohio. And it was like kind of the final interview. And we were going to one of the elders to his house. OK. And this was like your first senior pastor position. Yeah. You had been a youth pastor and a teaching pastor.
00:02:14
Speaker
And this was a pretty large church. It was time to break out the gray pants is what is what is what we're saying. And so we drove from Toledo is about an hour to Brian. We drove out there and it was
00:02:25
Speaker
It was basically a night where we were going to be spending several hours with the staff and some of the key leaders. I mean, there were probably 75, 80 people there. It was intense. It was a big deal. It was pretty stressful. But I remember we got out of the car and we were walking up the front driveway. And I had just taken a step. You know, I just stepped onto the front porch. No, no, you can't go. You've already gone too far in the story. I'll let you take it from here. I have to back it up a little bit. Because that doesn't look like I have a choice.
00:02:48
Speaker
We get out of the car the sidewalk is like really skinny, so I have to walk directly behind him So he is walking in front of me and like a boss really with great confidence And as he's walking every time he takes a step
00:03:04
Speaker
I see this flash of white by his bottom. I don't know how else to say this, honey. I guess we're going there. Okay, and I keep seeing this flash of white. He's, keep in mind, you know, he's wearing these charcoal gray pants and I keep seeing this flash of white. I can't, you know, he's walking so I can't catch, I don't know what's happening except for when he finally, he steps up onto the front porch and we stop. I look down and there is this huge,
00:03:29
Speaker
rip
Teamwork in Parenting
00:03:30
Speaker
in the back of his pants, like very noticeable. It was like with a pocket, you know, it was a vulnerable scene, if you will. This, and all I could do, literally, the door is opening and I... Yeah, I just knocked on the door, rang the doorbell. Yeah, and I lean up, just, he's much, you're much taller than me, but so I lean up as much as I can a little bit and I just said, you have a large hole in the back of your pants, and then we're like, oh, hi! You know, it's like... It was all, yeah, it all happened sort of in one moment there.
00:03:58
Speaker
And so we had to pretend like this was not happening. And we didn't even know these people. But I just remember then, I think I broke out in a call. I mean, I was already nervous. And then when you tell me I have a hole in my pants, it went from like a seven to a 14. And so I just remember then the rest of the year, we were there for several hours and had dinner there.
00:04:18
Speaker
But I remember just, yeah, for the next couple hours, it was like I did everything I possibly could to keep my back against a wall. There were times where you were intentionally trying to stay, you know, in front of me or behind me. What is that? Well, so you were trying to cover where I was. I was. I was trying to direct your where you stood and just
00:04:37
Speaker
I don't know. All that to say, I don't think anybody else that was there that evening, if we took a poll today, they would have no idea what we're talking about, which means we accomplished well. And they ended up hiring me. That's important. Here's the thing, you couldn't just go in and sit down because it was like everybody was standing and mingling. That was a neat read and there was no room for that. There was relief eventually when you could sit down, but oh my goodness. Anyways, I've recovered. I've worked through that with my counselor and I am fine. It was a great experience being there.
00:05:07
Speaker
And so... And there is a point to this. There is a point
Challenges and Support in Parenting
00:05:10
Speaker
to that. And I think, you know, as we talk about in the book, I mean, when kids come along, they really do have a way of exposing those weaknesses that we have. And parenting together is an awful lot like, you know, what we were experiencing that night, that we have to work together, protect one another. All in an attempt to really strengthen one another where we're exposed.
00:05:30
Speaker
Yeah, and if you don't remember, For Better For Kids is all about that vow to, what we call the missing vow, which is the vow to love your spouse with kids in the house. And you know, when we have kids in the house, it just requires so much working together and like covering for one another kind of just like that party.
00:05:49
Speaker
You did great, by the way. You were a pro. So, yeah, you know, I think it takes two to bring children into the world, and it takes two to bring them up in the world. Right. And so there is, there's such a challenge that comes along as you move from married to married with kids. It's so important that a mom and a dad are working together, that they're not parenting separately. And we also understand that, you know, again, we're talking about parenting together. We know that there are likely listeners that
00:06:15
Speaker
are single parents and just how challenging that is. And so we know that everybody's situation is a bit different and unique. And again, I think in those situations, as hard as that is, looking for those that are around you, whether that's another family member, a grandparent, a parent that can come alongside and help support your own church family,
00:06:35
Speaker
But it's so important that we don't try, whether we're a single parent or whether it's a mom and dad, that we don't parent alone. And so we need to do this together. And we're gonna talk about that in just a little bit, just that biblical vision of how God calls us to parenting together, that it's not something you do, it's something we do.
00:06:55
Speaker
Yeah. So this might seem obvious, but I think it is helpful to just understand what it looks like when we're not parenting together. And like I said, it might be somewhat obvious. I know there's people that are probably like, I get that. That's how I feel right now. I think there's a lot. I think especially for guys, I'm just going to because I'm a guy. I'll beat up on the guys for a second and just say, well, and statistically, it's not just you saying that. Yeah. I mean, when you look at the research, even when both
00:07:22
Speaker
mom and dad are working outside of the home, the research would suggest that the mom's still doing more work in parenting and housework. But yeah, just even my own experience, it just seems like sometimes that's a perspective shift for guys that guys, I think, tend to struggle with that more. They tend to look at what they're doing in terms of their work, and then they tend to just put that whole responsibility or a lot more of the responsibility of parenting on their wife.
00:07:50
Speaker
Well, sometimes they just might not feel, they might not even feel equipped or they might. Yeah, absolutely. So what does it look like then if we're not parenting together? Well, I think, you know, first of all, it's that I think, you know, not parenting together sometimes where there's just a division on that perspective of that attitude that, hey, this is something you should be doing and not me. I think our past plays a huge part in just not parenting together. So you just think about
00:08:17
Speaker
you know, everything we bring into marriage, our own experiences, our own wounds, our own examples that we had. I mean, we bring all of that into the present as a married couple and as a family. And so based on what we witnessed or experienced, that can be really good and beautiful, but that can also be really kind of broken and dysfunctional or unbiblical. And so I think our past can really have a huge impact on whether we're parenting together or not.
00:08:43
Speaker
And the one that comes to my mind is I can think of certain couples who it seems, well, and I feel like this is like a universal struggle with a lot of couples. Like one parent, like the husband is maybe the disciplinarian and the wife is more permissive or vice versa. And that is, there's such a struggle that comes when that's the situation. And kids figure that out pretty quickly. They know who to come to and ask. That's true.
00:09:11
Speaker
I know growing up, my mom was the disciplinarian. My dad, we called him General Gene, the tender machine. You could have run over his foot with a car and he wouldn't have gotten mad at you. So he's just very tender hearted. But yeah, I think almost in every relationship, you tend to see one, the mom or the dad, there's a difference there. One of them is usually more the disciplinarian.
00:09:34
Speaker
and one is more permissive. And so we're going to come back to that in a little bit. But that can be a huge source of not parenting together. And then I know we talk about celebrating some of those differences. I think you want to read those on page 75 in our book. We talk about how not all differences are necessarily bad, that some of those are actually really, really good. They're really healthy. And so in our book, For Better for Kids,
Biblical Parenting Principles
00:10:00
Speaker
On page 75, we kind of talk about how couples can look at those differences that they have and actually see the good in those. And so you want to you want to read those or the I'll just read. I think this I think this kind of sums it up nicely. These questions and what areas of parenting are you each strongest and how can you use that strength to help your spouse? I think instead of being a source of conflict, right, can be a great opportunity to say, you know, you're really strong in that area. I'm not so much.
00:10:29
Speaker
Instead of looking at it like, oh, this is my weakness, and I can't do this, and then I just need to get better at it, which of course we do, but actually relying on your spouse for what they're strong in. It's like all the times that I'm like, oh, go talk to your dad about it. Is that what's going on behind the scene? Now I know. Because I just send them back to you. It's like a ping pong match.
00:10:54
Speaker
Totally. Oh my goodness. So I just think it's really healthy to really talk about foundationally what the Bible has to say on parenting together because, you know, of course we this is the most important thing. And I think this really gives us a healthy perspective and view and starting place when we're talking about parenting together.
00:11:15
Speaker
I think there's some some really foundational passages again is we're going to talk about that there's a lot of soft edges to when it comes to like just our roles and responsibilities within family. And so you you have I think some some freedom, you know, as a as a mom and dad to figure out based on
00:11:33
Speaker
your experiences based on your gifts, your strengths, like who should do what when it comes to parenting together. And so I think that's really important. We don't want to become overly rigid and legalistic in terms of like, you can only do this or you can only do that. And so I think there are some soft edges when we're thinking about parenting together. But I want to read just a couple of key passages for us. This is a verse, a passage that we've read before.
00:11:58
Speaker
But Deuteronomy 6 verses 4 through 9, again, we see God speaking through Moses to the Israelites, to God's people. And he says, hero Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all of your heart and with all of your soul and with all of your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.
00:12:16
Speaker
Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit down at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up, tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates. Now there's a lot in that passage we can talk about, but the point is, is that clearly
00:12:33
Speaker
Parents are called to be the primary spiritual influence in a child's life. It's not the church, it's not a student ministry, it's not the school they go to, but a mom and dad are called to be the primary spiritual influence. They're to be the first representative of who God is and to shape their kids spiritually in a very relational way.
Community and Church Support
00:12:50
Speaker
Proverbs 6, verse 20, we read, my son, keep your father's command and do not forsake your mother's teaching. And so here the writer of Proverbs is calling children to listen both to their mom and their dad, both the mom and the dad, have a spiritual responsibility to be teachers and shapers in the home. You know, Ephesians 6, verse 4, fathers do not exasperate your children and instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Again, a great call.
00:13:18
Speaker
for men to be spiritual leaders in the home and to shape their kids, to love their kids, to model Jesus to them, to be teachers of God's word and God's ways. You know, we've talked about this for one more. Second Timothy chapter one, verse five. I think this is so important because as we think about the single mom out there or even the single dad or there are situations where mom and dad aren't in the picture and there's a grandparent. Yeah.
00:13:43
Speaker
maybe, or another family member. And I love this story. I know we've talked about this before, but the story of Timothy's mom, and most Bible commentators would say that Timothy's dad was not a Christian. And so really it was Timothy's grandmother and mom who were the ones that shaped him, that taught him, and really paved the way for him to receive the gospel. And so we read, I'm reminded of your sincere faith. This is Timothy talking, Paul writing to Timothy,
00:14:10
Speaker
I'm reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother, Lois, and in your mother, Eunice, and I'm persuaded now lives in you also. And so just a great reminder that God works in all different situations. But again, here's a single mom who, it's not a single mom, she's married, but she's really doing the work of godly parenting by herself, but she also has the support, not of her husband,
00:14:34
Speaker
but of another family member, her mom or Timothy's grandmother. And I think that's such a good point because I mean, I can't even, we've heard so many times from a mom who feels like they're parenting or trying to raise their kids spiritually on their own and the dad's not coming to church. And we've also seen the opposite where it's the dad and not the mom. And so I think that this isn't, you know, this is somebody who's actually,
00:15:01
Speaker
It's not only if you're divorced or if you're a single mom, but maybe you are married, but the other parent is kind of out of the picture spiritually.
00:15:11
Speaker
When I think, you know, we need to remember too that even in a situation where mom and dad are present and actively engaged and doing all the things that we're talking about, you're still not called to parents alone. That God is placed and called our biological family to do life
Shared Vision and Parenting Priorities
00:15:27
Speaker
within the family of God, the church. And so that the most common metaphor
00:15:32
Speaker
for the church in the New Testament is family. And so I think it's a reminder that even in those situations where mom and dad are doing what we're talking about and both are present, both are engaged in discipling their kids, teaching their kids, they're parenting together, we still shouldn't parent alone, that we need the help of our local church. We need to be actively engaged.
00:15:50
Speaker
In our local church, we need other people in our life that we maybe intentionally ask, and we've done that with our kids. There's another couple, as godparents, that we have reached out to, and they are investing in our kids. We actually sat down with them and asked them. Yep. Yep. Yep. It's incredible. Honey, don't get emotional. I don't get emotional. I stopped crying. I gave it up for Lent. I'm early this year.
00:16:13
Speaker
Way early. Oh my goodness. So anyways, I think as we think about parenting together, it means certainly as a mom and a dad, but also within the context of the local church. That's so important. I don't want to miss that. Right. That's a really, really great point.
00:16:29
Speaker
So as we're kind of talking about this, I love that you talked about the soft edges because I listen we all want a formula like tell me at least I do like tell me exactly what to do and how I'm sure that this is all going to work out and that just isn't the reality of our lives and that isn't the reality of parenting at all and
00:16:48
Speaker
And that's why they're soft edges. It's working together. It's following what the Bible says, doing our best to be real in front of our kids as we follow Christ. I think that our example is the greatest example we can give them.
00:17:04
Speaker
And so I love that you brought up this brought up the soft edges because I think that is so so important For us to remember so let's get a start to get practical here We have a couple different things we want to talk about but as we get practical
00:17:19
Speaker
We thought it would be helpful to share with you some questions that you can be asking as a couple to help you work together. And again, this is in our book for better or for kids on page 81, but I wanted to share those with you and I'll just, I won't share them all, but a few of them. In what area of parenting do each of you most need your spouse's help right now?
00:17:43
Speaker
What would be most helpful for your spouse to start doing? What would be most helpful for your spouse to stop doing? Oh, that would be interesting. Honey, maybe we should go through these questions tonight. We wrote this book a few years ago. I'm mowing the art tonight. Honey, we are going through these questions tonight. I just figured out what we're doing tonight. And then when I get done mowing the grass, I'm going to do some laundry.
00:18:03
Speaker
I can't tonight, maybe tomorrow. Oh my goodness. Actually, as it relates to household duties, where could each of you use your spouse's help most right now? Oh boy, who wrote that point?
00:18:14
Speaker
I must have been having a good day. Yeah. Anyways, there's, there's a whole list of questions here that honestly, listen, it's the expectations that get to us most of the time, right? When we haven't actually talked it out. So these are really important as you talk about how can we share responsibilities and work together? This is the, here's a list of questions that you can ask and go through. Yeah. I just think it's so like, I think sometimes we go into marriage thinking, well, if I, if I give 50%, you give 50%, we're okay.
00:18:42
Speaker
Right. And the reality is, is that in a Christ centered marriage, like I give a hundred percent, you give a hundred percent. I mean, that's right. I wish I could say that I do that all the time. You know what I mean? That's the perspective we need to have. I think a lot of times we wrongly go into marriage thinking, well, I'm just doing X, Y and Z and you're doing this and I'm giving my half, you give your half. And the reality is, is that we're called to lay down our life, you know, for one another.
00:19:04
Speaker
And so we come in to marriage, and especially then to parenting. We need to with that attitude that Christ has called us to lay down our life. And we really need to do that as we're thinking about these different responsibilities and all the work that's required. It's stressful. It's a lot of work. And it's an incredible joy. But we really need to have that perspective that we're going to lay down our life. And it's not about who's doing
Flexibility and Cooperation in Roles
00:19:27
Speaker
what.
00:19:27
Speaker
It's just about loving each other like Christ loved the church. And we talked about those questions obviously that you can go through, but I know it's still like, how do we actually live this out? At least if you're anything like me, that's what I would be asking. Like, so what does this really look like? Like the whole picture. And so we thought that it would be helpful to just share with you some practical steps that you can take as a couple to actually walk this out, to actually live this out.
00:19:56
Speaker
Yeah, you're so good with the practical stuff, honey. That's what I've missed over. When I do podcasts by myself, I get to the practical and I just feel so...
00:20:03
Speaker
Oh, honey, that is not true. That's not true. Anyway, I think one of the first things that a couple has to do is they have to if they're going to parent together, they have to have the same vision. And so I would encourage any couple that's that, you know, where there's maybe a little bit of division right now or conflict is that do you share the same vision for what you're trying to accomplish with your kids? And again, going back to what we read, Deuteronomy, you know, the vision ought to be first and foremost that we're discipling our kids. We've been called.
00:20:31
Speaker
to raise up disciples, followers of Jesus. And there's a lot of competing visions in our culture today. You have the star athlete or the cultured student. There's all sorts of things that I think parents are trying to produce that are worldly visions and not biblical visions. And I think we need to remember, a couple needs to remember first and foremost,
00:20:53
Speaker
that we're called to raise disciples. And that's our primary vision. That ought to be our primary vision. We have to agree on that, that that's what we're after, is really spiritually shaping our kids so that when we release them into the world, by God's grace, they grow up to love Jesus and follow Him and serve Him.
00:21:11
Speaker
And what I love, and I talk about this a lot, not just in parenting, but in all different areas of life, when we have a vision that informs our priorities. So when we have a vision and we know what's important to us, then we can establish priorities. And so that would be the next practical step is to establish priorities.
00:21:31
Speaker
Yeah, I think those priorities can look like, and we've talked about, you know, guarding the meal time and just how important that is, especially when your kids are young. You know, we've practiced over the years, you know, just family devotional time. I mean, all of that, if you have the same vision, it really affects then those priorities. And it helps you to know, as we were talking about recently in an episode, what to say yes to and what to say no to. Right. And so if you've got a different
00:21:57
Speaker
vision for your kids to be the star athlete that's gonna affect your priorities in terms of what you're getting them involved in or allowing them to be involved in all throughout the year and so establish the same the same vision number one established priorities that are consistent with that vision and I think really you know again practically is your number three would be guarding against division
00:22:15
Speaker
I think is so important and what I think we mean by that is that you learn to make decisions together. Kids are like, they must have like former training before they come out of the womb of like how to like conquer and divide, or divide and conquer, I'm sorry.
00:22:31
Speaker
You know what I mean? We were talking about that permissive and disciplinarian. They sniffed that out pretty quickly. And so I think just super practical. I think just learning to talk through things together if a child comes to you and asks about, for example, spending the night at somebody's house. Why are you giving me the look right now? I feel like I'm under the
00:22:53
Speaker
I feel like I'm always like, honey, we haven't talked about this yet. In my old age, I'm getting more permissive. I used to be the disciplinarian in the family. I feel like now I'm like, you know, go for it. No, but really most of the time where we actually most of the time are really good at this. And I think that that and honestly, the times we aren't good at it every time I'm like, honey, why did you
00:23:17
Speaker
It's usually around my bedtime. I'm vulnerable. But then it causes division. It really does. And not like it causes a big fight, but it is irritating. It's like, wait a minute, we have this on our schedule. Or if you didn't talk it through, it can cause- Yeah, if you're not talking through this together. I think it's okay to tell a child when they come and ask something to say, you know what, mom and dad need to talk about that. Right. And we'll get back to you tomorrow. We'll get back to you later tonight.
00:23:40
Speaker
All sorts of ways we could apply that principle of talking through or making decisions together. I'm learning to do that a little better. I'm sorry honey. I'm just kidding. Cali. Oh boy. Well, how about this last one? I think this is a really...
00:23:58
Speaker
This is a really important one. I think this is one that parents, you know, we've gone so far.
Authority and Boundaries in Parenting
00:24:02
Speaker
It used to be, you know, back in the day, you know, it was like the parent, you know, generation, you know, in every generation, you have sort of different, you know, kind of what's the, what's the word? I don't know. You know, a different dynamic, relational dynamic.
00:24:16
Speaker
And we're in, I think, an environment where it's like every parent wants to be like their best buddy with their child. And there's something about, of course, having a loving, nurturing relationship. But if we go too far, then we miss that God's also called us as parents to be an authority in the home. And so we have to remember that we're the parents. And so I think that's really, really important. Because again, it goes back to what we talked about before.
00:24:42
Speaker
fall into a child-centered marriage, child-centered family, and parents need to remember that God has called them to a place of spiritual authority in the home, and that that belongs to mom and dad, not to the child, and not in a, you know, authoritarian, you know, obviously that can get abused.
00:25:03
Speaker
Right. Well, it's not in a mean way. It's actually because you love them. And I think there's this feeling like if I tell them no, they won't like me as a parent. Or I think most recently what I've noticed a lot... If your kids never dislike you, you're probably being a bad parent.
00:25:22
Speaker
Well, I think what I've noticed most recently in the area of like phones and media and social media and all of that is parents feel helpless. I don't know what to do. And it's almost like they have forgotten that they're the parent. You can say no. Just because their friends are doing it or just because their friends have this or do that doesn't mean that they have to.
00:25:45
Speaker
And so I think that's just a really practical example of what even today feels kind of hard to handle because it's all new to us. But remember, you're the parent. You have the authority and it's out of love that you want to parent and discipline and disciple and lead and guide. And you're parenting with a long view in mind, right? There's going to be those moments, those weeks, or you feel like, boy, the kids aren't going to understand this. Right. I love this quote.
00:26:13
Speaker
Maybe we can end with this, but from Charles Spurgeon that relates to this.
Discipline and Relationship Balance
00:26:18
Speaker
He says, if we never have headaches through rebuking or disciplining our little children, we will have plenty of heartaches when they grow up. And I think that's such a great reminder that, yeah, there are those moments where parenting can be a headache, can be a challenge, but we need those. Otherwise, when our kids grow up, we're going to have plenty of heartache.
00:26:39
Speaker
Well, and I think, you know, when you read that quote, I was thinking of how discipling and teaching and guiding and disciplining like the opportunity to sit down and have a conversation with your child and say, listen, you know, this is not OK or, you know, like that. There's something, of course, they might not be happy right then. But I really we've seen over and over again, the Lord used that in their life.
00:27:06
Speaker
You know, and they come back and they say, you know, they get it. So even if in that moment they don't they know that when we don't allow them to do things or when we have to have a conversation with them because they've done something that's not right, they know they know now they've seen it long enough. They know now that we and we've said it many times that we are that's coming from a place of love.
00:27:29
Speaker
And I think that that's what you're saying is so important because it's the parents that have all of the rules and no relationship that you see rebellion. And I think that you need both of those, not that that's a guarantee. I mean, kids are going to grow up and they're going to make their own choices. And you can parent and do all of the right things and still have a child who walks away from the Lord.
00:27:48
Speaker
But I think it's so important for us that as we establish those rules and we're training and we're disciplining, we're preparing them for the flourishing life that Jesus wants for them, it's done in the context of a loving relationship. And you can't take the relationship out of that. You've got to have relationship and rules. You have a much greater chance by God's grace to see kids really respond in a God honoring way. And that's something we've got to do together. We've got a parent together.
00:28:16
Speaker
in that
Episode Wrap-up and Resources
00:28:17
Speaker
way. And I think it's so important for mom and dad to be on the same page and to be working together, praying for one another, encouraging one another. And it's an incredible responsibility. And it's too important for us to go into that by ourselves. We need to be working together.
00:28:35
Speaker
Wow, I feel like we could go on and on and on. We love talking about this. But we are just so glad that you've joined us for today's episode. It was such a great conversation. Hopefully you don't tell everybody about our embarrassing story at the beginning. I think we just did. No, I mean, hopefully they don't.
00:28:52
Speaker
It's in print. It's in the book. That's true. That's true. Don't forget everything we've talked about. And if you want some more examples and just more in-depth content around this topic, it's all in our book for better or for kids. Avow to love your spouse with kids in the house. Again, we're so grateful you have joined us. If we haven't met yet, we want to get to know you. So be sure to follow us on Instagram at Patrick W. Schwank and at Ruth Schwank or on Facebook.
00:29:19
Speaker
We just, we welcome you into our family here at Root Like Faith. All of the show notes, everything we talked about will be at rootlikefaith.com forward slash podcast. All right, friend. Well, we will chat soon and we hope you have the best week.