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Jump Into the Unknown
82 Plays6 years ago
The Unknown is a huge part of BTE events because it is truly an amazing thing. It is often viewed as darkness and a place where doubt, fear, and insecurities fester. These things block out the light and can keep us from truly knowing ourselves in ways we couldn't see if not for the Unknown. Jump into the Unknown and get to know yourself in a way that cannot be known otherwise.
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Transcript
Introduction to the Unknown
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello. Alrighty, this is episode four and
00:00:11
Speaker
I'm looking forward to talking today about a topic that is common in between the ears. I think it's common in life, but specifically, it's definitely a huge part of between the ears. And that's the unknown.
00:00:32
Speaker
Now this is something that is intentional and planned and purposeful on my part because I've had experiences with the unknown that I think have been transformative and
00:00:52
Speaker
Hopefully over the course of multiple episodes or kind of woven throughout throughout different ones I Can share those I don't really want to like focus just on just rattling off a bunch of things
00:01:09
Speaker
But anyway, I've personally been transformed by the unknown and it's something that I really feel strongly about creating in an authentic way and providing to people.
Creating Experiences of the Unknown
00:01:28
Speaker
And that's not to say that's the only way to do either, mostly events. I'm not saying that at all.
00:01:39
Speaker
But the power of the unknown, it really is amazing. And I believe in it, and my role with Between the Ears, specifically with events, is to create and provide people an opportunity to enter into and embrace the unknown,
00:02:05
Speaker
In a risk-mitigated way that doesn't require them to uproot their life Sell their belongings and like walk across the country and see what they're made of or something like that And I think
00:02:23
Speaker
being able to dive in over the course of either a night or a weekend and really encapsulate yourself in the unknown.
Fear and the Unknown
00:02:37
Speaker
I think that's kind of part of my duty with doing this stuff.
00:02:46
Speaker
It's something people ask a lot to either directly or indirectly about the unknown. And I get it, you know, it's common, it's natural. It's something that we struggle with not knowing. And to ask about that or to have concerns about it is understandable. But it's still going to be there. And I'm going to I'm going to preserve that element.
00:03:16
Speaker
I'm gonna always preserve that element. I'm gonna prioritize it, I'm gonna preserve it, and I feel like it would be a disservice to you or to somebody that does sign up for one of them to not experience that, you know, in a way that you can eventually go home and, you know, kiss your wife or play with your kids or something like that. And, you know, life continues, as you know, just for this, but for this temporary break, you're gonna literally be in a different world, a world you don't know.
00:03:45
Speaker
So that's kind of what I'm feeling today, talking about the unknown. Um, so I guess if you were to, if you were to ask yourself or to imagine the unknown, like if I say unknown, what picture comes to your mind? You know, many,
00:04:12
Speaker
will paint a picture of like darkness and be like, I don't know, I can't see something like that. That's more of a visual representation of this or visual image of this concept of the unknown. And
00:04:32
Speaker
I've had a lot of people come through events and like, yeah, that was part of it. It's like, oh, the unknown, I just didn't know. It's like this darkness. It's just, it's fear. And that's, I think, the little bit of difference. So there's the darkness, which is when, you know, people look at the unknown and it's like this void pretty much. And within this void,
00:04:59
Speaker
of uncertainty is where doubt and fear and insecurities just fester.
Society's Obsession with Answers
00:05:10
Speaker
And when they fester, they grow and they continue to feed off each other and they grow so large so as to like block out any light.
00:05:24
Speaker
It creates this veil which looks like darkness. And I don't think it's the unknown that is darkness, but what festers and what's an environment within that, that void of not knowing, that gap.
00:05:52
Speaker
That's what grows, and that's what creates the darkness. The unknown itself is not the darkness. In fact, I think the unknown is really like one of the purest forms of a light source there could be. I know the unknown can show you things about yourself that you simply couldn't see without it.
00:06:21
Speaker
without the unknown. So when I like some, I guess I'm more of a visual person, when I visualize then in that setting, the unknown, it's like a, it's like a, it's like a mag light or a surefire, a big old flashlight, powerful, you know, bunch of lumens flashlight. That's the unknown, but it requires awareness and effort to actually press the button.
00:06:52
Speaker
I think the unknown is amazing. And I think it's life. I really do think it's life. So beyond this veil is the amazingness of the unknown and the magical life. But there's still that resistance to it.
00:07:19
Speaker
and it's still tough to accept. It's tough to embrace. It's certainly tough to voluntarily enter into. And
00:07:33
Speaker
I don't think that's a shock given the society that we're in where we pretty much try to make so much known, if not everything. I mean, really, when we look at our behaviors and our patterns and that kind of a thing,
Liberation from Control
00:07:51
Speaker
our lives are almost predicated upon the known or the pursuit of trying to figure out the known. I mean,
00:08:01
Speaker
information is just on overload. To think that you can literally get any question, you have access to any question you want, you don't even have to search, you don't even have to click search in Google. You can just go into the search bar and type in what is 1,028 divided by 46 and it'll just populate it.
00:08:33
Speaker
we have access to so much information we think we know so much but we don't and I don't
00:08:46
Speaker
And again, I don't think that's unreasonable to think of when we look at stuff. It's a swipe, it's a reload, it's a notification. It's one of those annoying little red ones on an app. Or if you're that psychopath that has 13,000 emails on red, just delete the app. Seriously, that's insane. You need to get rid of this. But there's this pressure. There's this pattern and this trickery that
00:09:16
Speaker
gives us this hit of knowing. And it conditions us each day to see this or to think this. And that's a tough cycle to break. It's tough to undo that.
00:09:36
Speaker
to then put yourself in an environment, whether it's a between the ears event or just in your own life, that you have no idea how it's going to go. It's nerve wracking. It really is.
00:09:53
Speaker
and to not have not just not knowing but the access to knowing like we're so conditioned to just have that answer readily available when we want but to not but then to have that taken away it's like oh my gosh you know you're just you're like stripped naked as if that's a bad thing
00:10:14
Speaker
You know, and what's funny about that actually in events in between the years events is the lack of input and stimulus primarily in the form of a phone, um, is really challenging for some people. And the more challenging it is.
00:10:34
Speaker
the more liberating it is. And that is one of the common pieces of like, I did not expect that when people are like, Oh my God, I didn't look at my phone for, you know, four, 12, two days, however many hours it was. Um, you know, that's really, there's something there. I mean, there's definitely something there, but anyway, um,
00:11:05
Speaker
So yeah, you know, like it's, it's, it's cool to have no idea what's going to happen. And to only be able to see or earn that idea or have that idea present itself is by doing, um,
00:11:26
Speaker
You know, I don't know. Sometimes I think that this is what keeps me going to coming back here, or at least for, you know, four weeks or whatever, is because of the high degree of unknown within this. So having an idea, but like, I'm not gonna sit here and read a book, or not that there's anything wrong with that. But you know, that's just like, I don't, there's a high degree of unknown with
00:11:51
Speaker
what, how things are going to come out or what happens when this concept I want to talk about or whatever. Now, of course, like I knew I was going to be talking about the unknown, but where we go, man, like, it's like cardinal direction stuff at best.
00:12:09
Speaker
And so for me, I feel like it's helpful to be exposed and open myself up and be vulnerable here, because I'm often on the other end of it. You know, I see people exposed through facilitating events or creating this situation or experience for them to kind of be in this. And yeah, so for me, it's, it's kind of the same thing. And that's,
00:12:38
Speaker
That's good. That's cool. I like it. I don't like it sometimes. But generally speaking, it's it's it's a good thing for me. So I'm, I'm happy about that.
Podcasting and the Unknown
00:12:50
Speaker
And yeah, it's cool to have whoever's listening along for the ride too. You know, it's funny, when I was thinking about this, um,
00:13:03
Speaker
doing this, this podcast, like starting it, I was like, well, I got to research. And that's what I do. I research. I get all this information. I try to know. Because if I know, then I can plan how everything's going to go, how I'm going to react in certain situations, set myself up for success, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:13:28
Speaker
But like it's, that's like all the tangible stuff. Like I was planning all the tangible stuff. If you can plug it in, if you can click play, if you can click stop, if you can edit it, not that there's really any editing, but, um, all the tangibles. But the very thing I could not plan for it was the reality of pressing play and talking into this microphone. Couldn't do it. I mean, how could you? Um,
00:13:57
Speaker
You can't, you can't entirely plan the reality of the situation. Everything else is, yeah, it's tangible. It's fine. It's, it's peripheral, but it's not, it's not the reality of the situation. And when you're aware and present of what you're doing, when you're doing it, like that's, that's what it's all about. That's the essence of life being in this moment.
00:14:29
Speaker
And so we introduce a little unknown and we jump so far ahead to what's going to happen and blah, blah, blah, then needing to know. And it's like, no.
00:14:41
Speaker
Like, don't rely on that so much. And it's natural. I'm guilty of starts, I'm talking to me here. Full disclosure, I'm talking to me. You know, you just don't know. And that's okay. And I know that, you know, my dad used to, one of the smartest guys I've ever met, he, you know, PhD, just insane. Super smart. He, I think it was like his entry exam into, I guess his doctorate program, whatever.
00:15:11
Speaker
something along the lines of he told me his thing he believed for quote he heard or his belief he had and stuck with me as a kid still it's like I'm smart enough I know enough to know I don't know to know I don't know anything really and you know that that that's when you start to think about that and then how does that apply how do you live with that I think it could be it could kind of polarize some actions but man think about how boring
00:15:39
Speaker
Like if you knew everything, if there was no, if you could plan and predict and know everything.
00:15:51
Speaker
That's gotta be boring. Like no challenge, no unknown or obviously no unknown, but no unique stimulus to create something or an adaptation as a result of something new being introduced. None of that is just, just everything. I don't know. No failure really.
00:16:19
Speaker
And I think a lot of times our desire to know comes as a result of our fear of failure and an unhealthy relationship with failure. Um, so if failure is completely mitigated, then I would submit to you success is also entirely blunted and
00:16:47
Speaker
You know, just to know it all, man, that sounds awful.
Embracing Unpredictability
00:16:50
Speaker
Like just so much life is missed then. Um, and that's, that's not, that's not to say that, you know, you'd be reckless or just haphazard and don't plan. Like, no, of course not. You know, and, and, and that's not what I'm, that's not what I'm saying.
00:17:13
Speaker
I guess be adventurous over reckless, you know? And if you're gonna plan, plan for some unknown, build that in. Because to have no unknown just isn't living life. It's funny because I think, I think,
00:17:42
Speaker
When I think about people who struggle the most with the unknown, and I'm throwing myself in the, into the pool on that one too. Um, there's this like death grip that comes about us and this need to know, like you're just holding on. I need to, I need to know. And like, you know, the harder we grip at something, the harder we try to control something, my opinion,
00:18:12
Speaker
That's a signal for not having a handle on anything, not anything, but not having a handle on that. And when, you know, you look at like these severe actions in many ways to try to have a handle on it, that very thing is usually not, not people don't have a good handle on that, or they don't have control of it. Um,
00:18:39
Speaker
And it's like that fight, that battle of the death grip is the fight against that which we cannot control. And that's the unknown. But we need to have this. We need to white knuckle this thing. I think it's a signal that
00:19:06
Speaker
Check that grip. You don't have a good handle on it as you do. And you could be successful in it too. Like that's the thing. And I think with nutrition, a lot of people are like this, like they're obsessed with it. And yeah, sure. They might lose some weight and stuff, but like they don't, that's the nutrition that is controlling them. Same thing with the workouts. People go to the gym to get good at going to the gym and that's it. So I, I, I.
00:19:32
Speaker
I offer that as a potential little litmus test to throw in. When you feel like you're just trying to grip so hard on something, step back and ask yourself like, do I really have a handle on this? Like who controls the bull? The crazy rider or the bull? Who's riding who?
00:19:59
Speaker
Um, you know, and like, man, so much of life is unknown. Um, and within, within the unknown is the essence and the beauty and the dynamic kind of flow of life, the ups and the downs and everything like that.
Skydiving as a Metaphor
00:20:23
Speaker
within the unknown is really like where all the good stuff happens. I really do believe that.
00:20:35
Speaker
It's funny talking about that grip, one of the things, and being really tense, it reminds me, and definitely with the unknown, it reminds me of when I was in free fall school in the army. And it's essentially skydiving, except the military does a phenomenal job at taking something like, ooh, fun and exhilarating like that, and just like turning it into an all out suck vest.
00:21:00
Speaker
And I say that kind of kiddingly, but also kind of seriously as well. And when I went through Fusil School, the first week was at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, ground week.
00:21:19
Speaker
you don't do any jumping or whatever you learn basically two things one everything that could possibly go wrong and two how to pack your parachute you kind of do a little bit of wind tunnel time but at that time like it was it was minimal the primary things are how to learn your emergency procedures or learning your emergency procedures and learning how to how to pack your rig so
00:21:44
Speaker
I didn't really appreciate it at the time, but now looking back, I see it as a really awesome experience beyond just some of the fun stuff. So the emergency procedures, right? Here's what you do.
00:22:04
Speaker
or here's everything that could go wrong. And here's what you do when it or if it does go wrong. So you're like focused on and we've never no one's ever no one's been in this position before. So like it's all very theoretical, they're just bullet point memorization and, and reciting that and patterning that.
00:22:24
Speaker
So the focus is on what you would potentially have to do given a certain set of known Situations. I pull my ripcord that nothing happens. I shake nothing happens I I look whatever look up back like yep. Boom. Boom. I'm gonna cut away like, you know, it's it's it's It's um, it's checklist and it's systemized because It's a chaotic environment
00:22:47
Speaker
And you don't have time to plan and analyze and trace the root cause. No, you just need to do what you have to do to get out of that situation and essentially successfully save your life. And that's not like sexy stuff, learning that. But damn, is it real. So the other half of the day was how to pack your chute.
00:23:20
Speaker
And you really are like, okay. So I just spent all day learning what could go wrong, which is like a lot apparently. And how am I going to memorize all that? And then I got to pack this thing. Like, don't they have, don't, aren't though, isn't that someone's job to pack this thing? And it's like, no, the job is yours. The responsibility to live is on you and
00:23:51
Speaker
What a powerful thing when I really think about it. And again, not groundbreaking. But at the time, I was just like, I don't know. I need to learn this. And I need to do it fast. And you're getting yelled at because when it comes time to jump, there's a bunch of stuff to do that day. And time is limited. Blah, blah, blah. Time hack. Go, go, go. I think we had like three minutes or something.
00:24:13
Speaker
So you don't really think about the bigger picture there. You're just, honestly, you're just wanting to get through stuff. So that's like the first week.
00:24:26
Speaker
Pretty much. And then we fly down to Arizona and spend the next few weeks jumping. And like any good military, you know, day one or zero day, the first call is at like 3 a.m. or something.
00:24:46
Speaker
You know, an hour, no human being should be up, but we're fixing to jump out of planes like, all right. Um, or no, not even that you have to do something to like, make sure that when you do do that, it doesn't go catastrophically wrong. And so what that is, is you got, you show up, you show up to the, um, to like the pack shed or whatever.
00:25:09
Speaker
And you gotta pack your shoe, like they're all laid out there. Now it's 3, 3.34, whatever time in the morning, pitch black. Nobody just jumped. This wasn't from like a previous class and like, no, no, no, these are, these are open canopies and rigs and you gotta pack it. And, you know,
00:25:37
Speaker
It's a real moment for sure where it's like, all right, I did this. I, and nothing changed from like a week ago or, or, um, yeah, throughout that week or the day before when you test it out, nothing changed, but now all of a sudden you're like, Oh man, this just got real. Like I know what this means now and it's going to happen.
00:25:54
Speaker
you know and like I got the military is a funny thing because in some ways it's like what are you guys doing and then another way it's like man I don't know if you tried to do that but that worked out awesome we could have showed up at
00:26:08
Speaker
let's say five had an orientation and had whatever done our drop zone brief done all the stuff you got to do before they can hand us our rig sun would be up beautiful day go up there you jump and you do
00:26:30
Speaker
And you get that first one under your belt now. I just get the first one under your belt But no That's not gonna happen. You're gonna get there super early and You're gonna have to put that bad boy in the right way so that when you do this big thing for the first time You do it properly
00:26:55
Speaker
it would be a disservice to just hand me the rig and like slap me on the ass and say, all right, have a good job. And it smiles. This isn't Disney World. Think, this is not for fun in a picture you put on the refrigerator or put in the Christmas card, like no. And so yet again, like the responsibility to live is on you. Anyway,
00:27:26
Speaker
So yeah, so you get there, you pack it and then, you know, you're supposed to, you're jumping that day and you're like, all right, I learned everything that could go wrong and putting this bad boy in, but like, we really haven't talked about how to actually like jump or exit the aircraft. I know that sounds ridiculous. And at that point,
00:27:50
Speaker
you know, this was everybody within special operations. People are all airborne qualified and have a bunch of jumps. And so like exiting an aircraft at this point is not new to anybody. And everybody's done like the static line stuff, which is just the World War II, you know, paratroopers, like just amazing people just in a world class.
00:28:16
Speaker
which is also one of the most awful things. I mean, talk about not having control, just do a static line jump and it's miserable. It's just like, all right, I hope my legs don't snap in half on this one. Not enjoyable, not fun, especially not when you do the real thing.
00:28:36
Speaker
So how to exit the aircraft though, but it's different. And versus static line, just kind of throw yourself out. Like, like this surely there's, there's more, like you're not attached to anything. You're jumping out of a plane. And I feel like that's something we should probably like talk about or train on. And it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to do a dive exit.
00:28:59
Speaker
Basically, it's just like you're diving into a pool. It's like, okay, yeah, except not really, not on the ledge of a pool. You know, you get up there, it's loud.
00:29:12
Speaker
just nervous, nobody's saying a word, the instructors are all like, you know, just like having a good old time and method to their madness trying to stay relaxed. And that's a big part of it, staying relaxed in this environment, super stressful and cold and windy and everything. And you're just like, what? And so to say, it's just like jumping into a pool is
00:29:40
Speaker
Like, yeah, maybe if I was on, on, on like one of those tour buses in, in England, and then on like an Audi following behind, there was a pool and we're going like a hundred miles an hour down the auto bond. Like, okay. Then it like, then it's jumping into a pool. I can get that, but, but anyway. Um.
00:30:01
Speaker
You know, you might be like, all right, it's just like jump into a pool. Yeah. Say that with the ground beneath your feet. And then let's go up there and see how different that is.
00:30:15
Speaker
Little bit, little bit different change of perspective there. You know, and I'll admit it, like, yeah, it was nerve wracking. It was absolutely nerve wracking. Um, I think there was actually like these little skateboards, these little like butt boards that, um, people would lay on and, and, and like roll around the shed. I guess there was probably more for the exit, but either way, it was just like, this is
00:30:38
Speaker
What is this? Oh, thanks. That's what we're at. That's where we're at here, rolling around on these little skateboards. Anyway, it's just like, yeah, just dive out there. Just jump out.
00:30:53
Speaker
And, and, and, and everyone's kind of looking around, not everyone, you know, a group of people looking around like, how do you do that though? Um, like surely there's gotta be a way, like, uh, like where's the how to do this? We're, we're good at like, there's a manual for everything in the, where's the how to do this? And there is none.
00:31:17
Speaker
There is none. And really, like, how could there be one? How could that be replicated? How can you take the experience of being on a ramp 12,500 feet up in the air, you know, like just chaotic kind of environment, looking at the world like you're, you know, taking like taking a snapshot of the world there. Your first time, you have no idea what's going to happen. How can you take a position like that?
00:31:48
Speaker
an experience like that and replicate it and you can. And then so to say that like, yeah, we're going to do this on the ground. You can't. It's unknown up there to you in your world, in your life at that point in time, me as a first jump, that is an unknown world. I am in 100%
00:32:14
Speaker
and there's no way to make that known other than getting up there and jumping. You can't make that known and I don't think you should even try. I think the more you try to is where the greater resistance comes and the greater the fight is or the lie to yourself that you need to know.
Growth Through the Unknown
00:32:41
Speaker
And there was a lot of people gripping so tight to that pivotal moment moment of jumping off that ramp of diving headfirst into the, into the air, like, like so tight. And be beyond that group, I think was the belief that like, well, they don't know what they're going to do or how they're going to do it.
00:33:08
Speaker
which is going to which their performance is in question. And that's that for a high performer, that's like the worst thing ever. Everybody there was a high performer. And those dudes had a super hard time. You know, the only like one of the major one of the first criteria is like, can you just jump out and can you just have a safe and successful exit?
00:33:33
Speaker
And the prerequisite to that was really embracing that unknown. Diving headfirst, even though you have no idea really what you're going to do, how you're going to do it, you're certainly not going to do it well, most likely the first time. You know, and if you messed up like there was an instructor, that would help you out.
00:34:03
Speaker
Um, and that's another part, like the support, like someone being there to help you out. I lose sight of that. I lose sight of that often too. And when we think about the unknown often, not only is it like the darkness, but it's, we're alone. We are alone. We think we're alone or not.
00:34:32
Speaker
And we're really not, we start to really deconstruct it like we're not as alone as we think we are. But that kind of messes, kind of messes with us.
00:34:46
Speaker
you know i've i've found myself living in fear of the unknown by way of what i call like the contingency monster so the contingency of you know what you're going to do when something else happens is criteria this this potential uh situation you'll be in in the in the future the contingency like
00:35:13
Speaker
That has, I'm at war with that. I'm definitely at war with that. And sometimes I do a good job, sometimes not, but like living in fear of the contingency monster directly impacts your ability to fight it.
00:35:35
Speaker
the what if and the obsession on answering the what if, which really is just kind of a false known anyway, because you don't know until you're in it, ironically will prevent you from really actually answering the question from really truly, truly knowing yourself. And again, this is my personal experiences too.
00:36:02
Speaker
I've tried to answer what if so many times, which none of those answers, like they could be correct, but none of them are guaranteed. It's just a guess and haven't moved past that and spent so much time trying to answer the what if that's not really an answer.
00:36:30
Speaker
And that prevents you from really knowing yourself or learning more about yourself. It's okay to continue to get to know yourself. And that's something I have to focus on. It's okay to continue to get to know myself and learn new parts or maybe part ways with some other parts.
00:36:59
Speaker
You know, but the unknown is the catalyst in that. You know, I think the other thing that happens here is like not allowing yourself to experience the very thing that happens is like pulling yourself out of life.
00:37:27
Speaker
because, you know, that maybe a perceived doubt or something, I'm not really sure. But, but, but focusing on focusing on that veil and, and be like, it's a blank piece of fabric or whatever blank sheet or just a vast expanse of nothingness. Like there is something behind it. And
00:37:58
Speaker
you know, that, that, that part about jumping off the ramp and throwing yourself into a situation, which yeah, is nerve wracking and it's everything's at stake up there. Um, yeah, you learn, you learn about yourself.
00:38:24
Speaker
Sure. Here's the thing, like a couple of jumps and you know how to do it. Honestly, it's not the physical thing you're learning, but, but looking back at that now, like, man, yeah, just, just jump, just jump dive headfirst in and the rapid dynamic changing flow of life.
00:38:55
Speaker
is going to happen. And it's a sign that like, yep, you're in it, you're living. And that is worth pursuing. That's the unknown. That's the powerful nature of being in the unknown. And that's what I like to
00:39:23
Speaker
That's what I like to personally pursue. I'd like to pursue it more, frankly. And that's what I like to create in an authentic and not contrived way. Or at least I think it's authentic and not contrived with between the ears. So diving into that unknown to
00:39:53
Speaker
to really experience life.
Conclusion and Call to Action
00:39:59
Speaker
That's what it's all about.
00:40:06
Speaker
All right. Uh, I think that's all. I think that's all for today. Uh, if you're interested in all this thing, so this thing should come out on Thursday. Uh, I think I messed up last week and I dunno, I'm learning here too. Um, actually I know exactly why it did that. So that'll be fixed. It'll be up on, uh, it'll be up on, it should be Thursday when you're listening to this or should say Thursday or whatever.
00:40:32
Speaker
um but yeah anyway uh the next night friday night there is an event last one for the year i don't know by the time you're hearing this we might already be in the unknown but um
00:40:45
Speaker
Yeah. Love talking about it. Love hearing experiences too, uh, from different folks. So if you've got something, man, share it with me. We'd love to chat. Um, and yeah, hopefully, uh, hopefully everyone out there has a, has a great end of the week weekend. And, uh, yeah, go do something that you don't know how it's going to end. I think you'll, uh, I think you'll find some refreshing, uh, bit of life in there and let me know how it goes through. All right. Later.