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EP 09: Ask The Moms Pt. 1
3k Plays2 years ago
You asked and we delivered. This week the moms answer an array of questions submitted by listeners! This fun grab bag of prompts runs the gamit from favorite places to shop to how to make friends as an adult. Giggles ensue.
Keep up with the Moms and join the conversation on our socials:
Instagram: @momgroupchat
TikTok: @momgroupchat
Questions/comments/need to vent? Email us at momgroupchat@gmail.com
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Transcript
Introduction and Episode Overview
00:00:07
Speaker
There's no right way to do it. Oh, we're going to get into it. What up our Instagram besties? My name is Candice. I'm here with Shannon and Whitney and welcome back to the mom group chat podcast.
00:00:23
Speaker
Hi. Instagram Besties. That was so cute. Thanks. I'm excited. Today's episode is going to be a little bit different than previous episodes. We have questions from our Instagram Besties. Yeah, this is going to be fun. Are we calling it Ask the Moms? Is this our segment?
00:00:42
Speaker
We had a lot of great DMs on this. We did. We had amazing questions from you guys. So we prompted you guys on Instagram to drop your questions and nothing was off the table. It could be personal. It could be baby related. It could be marriage related, any of the things. And you guys had some really, really good questions. So we're super excited about today. Some of them
Instagram Engagement and Community Building
00:01:05
Speaker
were hard. I really had to think on these.
00:01:07
Speaker
I know I am just like every time people engage as you guys can probably tell I this is Shannon I'm the least like social media engaged Candace and Whitney are like savants and queens at it like literally anytime and anyone engages with us I'm like holy shit and movies this question up we got so many responses I was so excited I'm
00:01:29
Speaker
I'm just floored. Thank you everybody for engaging. Awesome. I love it. Um, it's been so fun to talk to you guys in DMS and also follow you guys and your family. So if you're listening and you don't follow us on Instagram, definitely go over there and check it out. We're going to have a lot more, uh, engagement focused content. I think moving forward, we want to prompt you guys to include you in on our conversation. So.
00:01:56
Speaker
This is just the beginning. Let's get into it. I'm excited. Uh, do you want me to read the questions? Do you want... Yes, mama. Yeah, like... Oh my God.
00:02:11
Speaker
Yeah, we tried to like, it's a bit of a grab bag. So like, let's just kind of, you know, close our eyes and pick one.
Finding and Building Mom Groups
00:02:18
Speaker
Okay, cool. I'm going for it. Okay. Well, this first one is very, you know, related to this podcast in general is how to find that mom group chat when other moms, you know, are so different than you, which we got a lot of questions about how do I make mom friends? How do I make friends as an adult? I'm going to teach you exactly how I did it. I'm just kidding. Cause Candace taught us.
00:02:41
Speaker
Number one, be as cool and bubbly as Candice. No, I, no, I wasn't saying it like that, but I had, you guys know, I've talked about it in the past, the Q1 moms. I really hit the freaking jackpot with my mom group chat. They are my, some of my best friends and I found them through the Facebook group baking little babes.
00:03:02
Speaker
That is a good place to start. I feel though, the key to this is finding an already existing network of people that you think are like you. So for me, that was the podcast, The Morning Toast. I love The Morning Toast. I listen to it every day. Jackie and Claudia, if you're listening,
00:03:21
Speaker
I love you. What up? Jackie is a dream guest for me on this podcast. Neither here nor there. So anyways, I knew that the people that listen to the toast typically are going to be similar to me. They like pop culture. They're like 20s, 30s.
00:03:38
Speaker
Like I knew those people were my people. And then when I saw that they had a mom like subgroup, I was like, I want to join that. That's what I want to do. And then from there we had a due date group or like someone posted like drop your due date below.
00:03:54
Speaker
And then all the people that were due in March of 2022 kind of got together and started this group chat. So my advice to you is to find an already existing community of women who you feel are similar to you. And then from there, like find your people that are in the same stage or, you know, in the same boat as you.
00:04:16
Speaker
Can I just say that I joined the group after Candace when we all met up and I joined the September and August because I'm kind of straddling the line birthing the baby and I'm obsessed. She was spot on. I'm going to shout out to our admin Natalie because this group
00:04:35
Speaker
is amazing and it's through Geneva, this text thread, which is so organized. I am obsessed with this platform. And also Olivia from Skinny Hangover is in the group who has been such an advocate for our podcast. And I think we've resulted in a lot of listeners through her. So I'm so happy to have a new friend and everybody in that group. Everyone's so funny, so nice and so supportive. It's great.
00:05:00
Speaker
shout out to skinny hangover because how many people am I going to shout out in this episode? Oh my God. But, um, shout out to her. I've been following her for years. So to see her post our podcast, I was like, literally, she is helpful and nice. I really appreciate her.
00:05:18
Speaker
Her content's so good, too. She's a great follow. Something I'll add on. I have not joined a mom group chat forum the same way Candice and Whitney have. I have my little group chats with my, I'm not going to call them real life friends because
00:05:33
Speaker
these group chats that you guys are in have become your real life friends. Like Candice has gone on trips with these women. So they are real friends, but my like pre motherhood friends, something that I heard on another podcast that is a rule of thumb that I'm trying to stick to as an adult trying to make friends. That was another theme. It's like, as an adult, how do you make friends is
00:05:57
Speaker
It's not going to happen overnight. And that familiarity is really important when you're trying to make friends. And just showing up to the same things over and over again will make you feel like you're in a community. So like Candice said, the group she joined was Toasters. So I followed that same concept. And I've had some success.
00:06:22
Speaker
here in my community. I talked about golf before. I've taken some golf and tennis lessons. That's the community that we're closest to here is we joined a country club, which sounds hoity-toity, but it's really a low-key family club. So there are a lot of women who have, or a lot of families and moms there. And if you sign up for a class, you're like,
00:06:44
Speaker
doing something together, just showing up week over week for these like little clinics, kind of felt awkward in the beginning, you're like, you don't know anybody. But over time, you, you just get to know them because you're there every week and you see their faces over and over again. And then you
00:07:02
Speaker
you just become friends over time. So it doesn't happen overnight. It's definitely like going out of my comfort zone to introduce myself to people. I wouldn't call myself like a huge extrovert. So just reminding myself that showing up and becoming a familiar face to people is a really good place to start.
00:07:21
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I have something to add on to that. If you really think about how we made friends young when we were younger in school or in college, you had all these like forced boundaries. Like you were in the same class or you joined the same sorority or.
00:07:37
Speaker
you were in the same sport growing up and you realize as an adult we don't have these like forced boundaries anymore around making friends and so my advice to you is to almost like create that for yourself like
00:07:53
Speaker
start to put some things into your weekly, monthly rotation that put you in a forced thing to be with, like Shannon said, show up every week and it will happen way more naturally than you think. It just isn't as forced as it was when we were younger.
00:08:09
Speaker
Totally. Just find your common interest. Find that gal that'll go to the park with you and drink wine instead of water. I know. That's the other thing I was going to say is I feel like I have a few key questions I can weave into the conversation to know, are you my person or not?
00:08:38
Speaker
What's your favorite Taylor Swift album? Y'all would have dropped me though if y'all asked me that. True. It's not a qualifier. It's just like, uh, you know, it's not a deal breaker, but you know, like if I, you know, I don't know. I feel like you should have a couple of like questions in your pocket of like, okay, I know if they, and like feel the same way about this or they will do this with me, then I'm like, okay, they can run in my circle or whatever, you know? I love that.
00:09:08
Speaker
And just don't be afraid to engage.
Love Stories and Marriage Journeys
00:09:11
Speaker
It's so scary. It can be so uncomfortable to introduce yourself to other women. It's like way scarier than like back in the day when we were dating. But I feel like every time a woman introduces herself to me or like strikes up a conversation at the park, I'm like so happy and so relieved. So it's like, why is it scary to do it to other people, you know?
00:09:31
Speaker
Yeah. Next question. This one is also another like could be a long, longer thing, but we'll try and keep it short and sweet. How did you meet your husband?
00:09:41
Speaker
He wants to start. Whitney, start. You start. That's because Candace is involved. So Candace knew my husband before I did. They met freshman year and used to go to parties together, like run into each other, whatever. Sophomore year, everyone moved into apartments. Candace was my roommate in college.
00:10:03
Speaker
Thank God, bless up to that. So she was my roommate in college and literally it was like after rush one day we were rushing like the upcoming freshmen and we were taking out the trash at home and Chris and our good friend Claudio walked up and that's like the joke today even when Chris and I were getting married the preacher was like
00:10:29
Speaker
They met taking out the trash, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, okay, haha. But honestly, it was kind of like a love at first sight situation. He added me on Facebook and I like screamed and ran down the stairs to Facebook, right? To tell Candace that he added me. And then I think we went out that night and I was like, give me his number. I'm going to text him.
00:10:51
Speaker
I love this voice you put on. Your impression of him was super country. Yeah, it was. I didn't mean he used to be more country than he is now, but oh my gosh, he is from Alabama, so that's okay.
00:11:09
Speaker
really it really was like love at first sight because we walked away from the dumpster okay we dropped our trash and we said bye to them and like we're walking back to our apartment and she was like oh my god like who is that guy like why don't you like him like I know I was like do you have on him
00:11:29
Speaker
Yeah. No. And I'm like, I was like, girl, I'm all about that. Like Chris and I have always just been friend zone, like, you know. And so I was like, girl, get it. You got it. And then they did. Yeah. And she got it. Yeah. So, yeah, that's how we met. And like literally we've texted every single day ever since. I don't think we've missed a day of not talking to each other.
00:11:54
Speaker
Since that day. Yeah. And Whitney got married right after college. She was like the first person I had ever heard of at the time. Like I didn't know Whitney super well. Like I knew her because Candice and her were friends. We like hung out in Tuscaloosa.
00:12:11
Speaker
But I remember like Candice being a bridesmaid in your wedding and none of my friends were like close. And I was like, Oh my God. What an adult. Uh, we were 23. It is so crazy, but we lived a whole life before baby. Yeah, you did. So we did all the things traveling. Um, we moved away, came back, like we've done it all. Like we've had a life.
00:12:37
Speaker
You guys are truly, I always say about you guys, you guys are like the exception to the rule. Like, you know how some people are like, oh, they don't even know themselves. They're getting married so early. Like I genuinely do not feel that way about you and Chris. Like you guys are soulmates and meant to be. And it's like, when you know, you know. And thank you for saying that. And you guys really did. You, it's not like you got married and you were like, I need a baby. You got married and you were like, hell no.
00:13:02
Speaker
I'm waiting. I got married before all my friends. I'm waiting till my friends had babies and then we're doing it together. How long did you wait like between wedding and grade in?
00:13:12
Speaker
Um, it was seven years. Wow. That's awesome. That's awesome. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. So many people don't do that anymore. It's like when I'm like, people are waiting to get married. So then it's like so much pressure to just hurry up and have a kid. So that's a unique experience. That is really awesome. I think we're both just very sure that we were best friends. We were in love. Like we want to be together. Let's do everything together. We're not rushing kids. So yeah, I love that.
00:13:40
Speaker
Amazing. All right, Shannon, you're up. Okay. I met Andrew at a bar in New York, kettle of fish. Shout out kettle of fish. Our first sponsor. Literally. I love that bar though.
00:13:57
Speaker
The fun bit is that neither of us lived in New York at the time. So Andrew was visiting his cousin, and I was visiting my friend Lizzie and Sarah that are up there. We're living there at the time. And Lizzie and I went to get drinks before dinner. So everyone asks, were you drunk? And we weren't. It was like 6 o'clock. And Andrew, so this is from his perspective now. He said he saw Lizzie and I standing together and was like, those girls are hot. I'm not sure which one.
00:14:26
Speaker
I'm going to talk to, but I'm going to angle to go talk to them. Isn't it funny hearing their perspective? Yeah. That's great. Anyway, go ahead. So he came over and dropped his beer or dropped a couple drinks down at our table and was like, would you mind watching these while I go to the bathroom? And I was trying to not make eye contact. Oh, nice line. I was like, yeah, whatever. So then he came back.
00:14:54
Speaker
I was like, you know, you're on vacation. I was like open to flirting with people a little bit. I was like single for one of like the first times as an adult, like away from college and stuff. So he came back and I was like, oh, I was about to drink that. And then he was like, well, why don't I get you a drink? And we struck up a conversation that way. And we were just like, we were just like,
00:15:22
Speaker
flirting hard, you know, like spitting, like back and forth, having a really fun, like punchy.
00:15:30
Speaker
flirty little spar. And we only talked for maybe like 20 minutes. But we did the whole bit where we were like, OK, where'd you grow up? Are you religious, Catholic, grew up Catholic, but not so much anymore? What kind of music do you like? We asked the important questions. And then at the end, he was like, well, I think we should probably just get married. I mean, everything checks off here.
00:15:56
Speaker
And I was like, I mean, if it checks off. And then it was like, what do we do here? And then Lizzie was like, OK, guys, I think you should get each other's numbers. Like wrap it up like we have a dinner reservation. So, yeah, we did. And then that is so cute, Shannon.
00:16:18
Speaker
I don't think I've heard that. I love talking about how people met their husbands because I feel like it reinvigorates. Like you're like, oh wait, like the universe brought us together. You know, I don't know. For him to say that you were like his marriage type. What a fucking compliment. And then you were.
00:16:37
Speaker
I saw this weekend we were in Boston where he grew up and he was at that kettle of fish because his sister's friend's husband was working that night. So I saw his sister's friend this weekend and she was like, you know, that night Andrew came up to me after you left and he was like, I just met my wife.
00:16:59
Speaker
Oh my God, that's the dream. Well, then there was the year of like long distance, like what are we unlabeled, like chaos. And then long story short, we ended up being in the same place. He was in California, so I moved out there. Luckily, I was able to like get a promotion with my company out there so I could tell everybody I was moving for my career.
00:17:23
Speaker
which felt more comfortable. I totally get that. Nice. I feel like your story gives women hope that are in the dating world still because I feel like the dating scene is bleak these days with apps and like you just had a genuine meet cute in a bar. Ideal. Yeah, that's like the dream. That's how everyone wants to meet their husband where you guys like totally had a banter conversation and then
00:17:53
Speaker
Yeah, there's no pressure. There's hope. There's hope for you all. I am so glad I never had to use the apps. Oh, I was on there for a little bit. I feel like it'd be hard. I feel like there, well, that's a whole other conversation. Yeah, that's how I met Andrew. And, um, you know, I love him. He's my husband. He's great. He's the father of my child. Still makes me laugh. Oh, I love that.
00:18:18
Speaker
All right. Okay. Now Vinny, our bounce daddy. This is how I met bounce daddy. Um, no, uh, we actually went to like, I would always say we went to high school together, which isn't necessarily true because I went to an all girls school. He went to an all boys school. So two separate schools, but they're very much like integrated brother and sister schools, brother and sister schools. So.
00:18:43
Speaker
He went to the all-boys school. I went to the all-girls school. We knew each other in high school. And we kind of dated-ish senior year. Nothing official. He was never my official boyfriend, but we were talking. I don't even know what you call that now. But we were definitely a thing at the end of senior year. He brought me as his date to his family's graduation party. I met all of his grandparents and parents and sisters. I met everyone that day.
00:19:13
Speaker
But he was going off to Purdue to swim. I was going to Alabama. We just were both like, we both want to have a college experience. That's pretty much it. But we always kept in touch. He happened to be in the same place as us for spring break that year. That was so fun. I got to meet any freshman year of college. Yeah.
00:19:34
Speaker
So we ended up hanging out with him. Then he had a girlfriend, I remember, but we always like kept in touch. We would see each other on Christmas break. Like we always kept in touch. And then when I was living in New York city in 2015, he messaged me and was like, Hey, I'm going to be there for work. Like I have the night, you know,
00:19:54
Speaker
off would you wanna grab dinner something like i'd love to see you blah blah blah so at the time i was a full time nanny and most of most nights i worked until like seven thirty eight pm i would always put the baby to sleep so
00:20:09
Speaker
I, uh, this was like the one day I didn't work. Like I was getting off at five, which is so, I know this part to me is important because I genuinely feel like the stars aligned because almost every other night I would be working until seven 30. So.
00:20:28
Speaker
So we went to Mexican. We had margaritas. I don't even think we ate anything. Like we barely ate anything because, and just drink margaritas because we, the conversation was just like so flowing. It was like, we couldn't even stop to eat anything almost.
00:20:43
Speaker
Which I feel like is a sign of a good date, you know? But also a bad sign because we drank a lot of margaritas and got pretty drunk because we hadn't eaten much. So we walk out and this was on 9-11. So obviously 9-11 in New York City is like, I don't want to say special because that is not the right word.
00:21:01
Speaker
But it's like a day of observance from everyone and they have the big beams in the sky. And so we came out of the Mexican restaurant and the beams are in the sky and he was like, I've never been to ground zero. And I was like, oh my gosh, we have to go.
00:21:18
Speaker
we get in a cab and in the cab on the way downtown, he like looks at me, we're again, we're kind of tipsy. And he looks at me and he was like, do you ever think about that time that we dated? And I said, no.
00:21:35
Speaker
And he was like, because I think about it all the time, which is, and I was like, Oh, interesting. And then we made out in the back. And you're like, now I'm thinking about it. And we went to ground zero and like walked around and held hands. Like we were dating and like,
00:21:54
Speaker
had a whole night together. We went to this bar that I don't know how we got into. And then this older guy came up to us and was like, what are you guys doing here? And I was like, what do you mean? It's a bar.
00:22:07
Speaker
And he was like, this is a party for people who served on nine 11. It was like literally right off of ground zero. Like we were there with a bunch of old firefighters and like, I don't even know how we got there, but we met in high school. That was kind of like our love story. And then ever since then we never, you know, we talked every day at that point. I kind of already knew I wanted to move back home to Tampa because, which is where he was based. I wanted to be closer to my family. My dad had just passed away like recently. So.
00:22:36
Speaker
I had already knew that was like where I was headed. So it just, again, timing is everything. So it just was timing worked out. I know I love this story because it's full circle and yeah, I don't know. It's just really sweet. It's like you got to marry somebody from high school who grew up in your hometown and has a lot of the same reference points and mutual friends, but you didn't
00:23:01
Speaker
have to be with him the whole time. Yeah. I got to like that ground. Yeah. Also the fact that you went into a 9 11 hosted party bar, like damn, I would have been like so small. Like I am so sorry. I was like, I was like, Oh my gosh. I'm sorry. But I have to say they were so nice. They like bought us rounds of fireball shots. They were like, they were so nice. Oh my God. I can imagine too, like not to get like deep with it, but
00:23:30
Speaker
that scene like being at ground zero and then like being at the bar like there's something about tragedy that makes you feel like oh life is short like you gotta like hold the ones you love like say stuff you gotta make out in the cab you gotta make out in the cab like life is fleeting
00:23:50
Speaker
Yeah. Marry, marry each other. Get married. Oh, I love that. That was literally so fun. I'm not going to say nothing to do with parenthood because those are our spouses, but that was fun. It was fun. It was really fun. Okay. Switching gears here. This is something we could definitely have a whole episode on.
Body Image and Motherhood
00:24:11
Speaker
And I know that we will at some point, the question is, how did you
00:24:16
Speaker
How did becoming a mother change the way you view your body and how did you adjust to body changes? I feel like we're going from like a happy topic to I'm like, yay, love. And now I'm like, womp. Literally, just like motherhood, this episode is going to be a roller coaster.
00:24:36
Speaker
Yeah, I can start just because since I am pregnant, I'm due at the end of August. And I think this pregnancy, the first one, I was fine. I kind of loved my changing body. And this round I'm 20 pounds heavier started pregnancy. I never lost all my baby weight. So I already had that complex. And
00:25:02
Speaker
I'm struggling this time. I think I posted it on Instagram on our stories and I don't know what it is this time. I'm just like not having it. And Chris has been so sweet. He's like, you're pregnant. You only have two and a half, three months left. And then you can get back to like what you want your body to be in this or whatever. And I'm like, I'm wanting to hear that immediate fix now. I'm like, no, what can I do now that makes me mentally feel better?
00:25:32
Speaker
But I don't know, I think going on vacation really triggered me. Just being in my bathing suit, Chris is working out like crazy. He looks amazing. Not that I'm blaming like Chris looking amazing on how I feel, but it was just something like seeing people, I'm not normally around being like, oh, are you going to make it till August? And I'm like, that fucking sucks. Like that doesn't make me feel good.
00:25:53
Speaker
Fuck everyone's comments. I'm sorry, but that is so inappropriate. Like when are people going to learn? Do not comment about a pregnant woman's body at all, other than you look perfect and beautiful and you're growing an actual miracle human. Like, I don't know. It's just something this time is not clicking with me.
00:26:17
Speaker
You know why? Because it's a girl and they suck all of the beauty out of you because my experience was I've never felt uglier and worse about myself than when I was pregnant. I'm gonna post the photo of me right the day before I gave birth.
00:26:34
Speaker
It's my favorite photo. Y'all, I look like an actual bridge curl. I don't know. It changed the structure of my face. It doesn't look like you at all. My nose is so much wider.
00:26:53
Speaker
Whitney's laughing because I know she's picturing that photo. Y'all are going to die. That photo of me, it's not me. But you look so happy in it is what's great about it is because you look like the jolliest bridge troll to ever.
00:27:06
Speaker
troll a bridge. I'm crying. It's funny because I was feeling down about myself. So of course I reached out to Shannon and Candice and she sent that picture. She goes, does this make you feel better? It did. It did. It did. I know it did. And you know what? I'm happy to share that photo with anyone who would like to see it to make themselves feel better because it's rough out here being pregnant and just having a baby. It,
00:27:36
Speaker
completely changes your body. I know it changed mine. I already had huge boobs. They're even bigger and not- They're so good though, by the way. That's so nice of you to say. Candice has the best boobs I've ever seen. Oh my gosh, still? Yeah.
00:27:56
Speaker
Wow. I love that is such a compliment. Um, but they're just, your body just changes. My stomach doesn't look the way it used to. I had really bad stretch marks from having Alice. I know I will have them again in my next pregnancy. Like it's, and I tried.
00:28:12
Speaker
Every cream and oil like every day twice a day I tried everything I think it's just genetic honestly first of all you both are gorgeous and like what you said yeah we're like I think women our age so we're all thirty two like.
00:28:29
Speaker
Well, we grew up in a time like the 2000s. So like the look that we all have ingrained in our mind is like Christina Aguilera from the dirty video, like heroin, chic, heroin, chic, like that, like skinny, skinny, skinny is kind of what we grew up with is like the ideal body and.
00:28:48
Speaker
I hope that younger women don't have that same connotation around what they should look like, but it really is a mind fuck. And I think the biggest thing that helps is just knowing that number one, there's really like it's genetic and you can work out and you can diet, but your body is going to look different as you get older. And after you have a baby, it just is accepting some of that.
00:29:15
Speaker
not comparing yourself to people you see on the internet because we know they're all face-tuned and photoshopped and whatever. Then what I've tried to do is just focus on how I feel and less on how I look. Easier said than done. How many times have we texted our group chat being just like, I feel fucking ugly. I'm in a bad mood because I feel like a troll. The thing I'll say is,
00:29:42
Speaker
If you can't tone it, tan it. Exercise and food are supposed to make you feel good in your body and that's it. What you look like you can only control so much of, but tanning always makes me feel better every time. I agree. We'll have to drop some of our favorite tanning products because they are lifesavers. The other thing I was going to say is I think
00:30:13
Speaker
And this kind of goes back to things we've talked about in past episodes, but letting go of that old version of yourself. There was definitely a shedding of that expectation for me to be like, my body's not going to look like that anymore. And I started this thing, which if you follow me on TikTok, you've seen, I started to try on one thing per day from my closet. And if it didn't fit or I didn't like it, I got rid of it. And there was no more like,
00:30:39
Speaker
I'm keeping this for after I lose the baby weight, blah, blah, blah. My body looks different. My stomach, it is made differently than it used to. So shifting how I dress to fit my current state. I saw an influencer talk about this. I can't remember her name, but I will.
00:30:56
Speaker
drop her link in our Instagram stories one day talking about this, but she said, clothes are meant to fit you. You are not meant to fit clothes. And if the clothes don't fit you, buy new clothes. You don't need to fix yourself to fit clothes. And you just got to, honestly, it's crazy how much better I look
00:31:18
Speaker
and how much better I feel wearing clothes that actually fit me and I'm comfortable in rather than trying to like squeeze myself into something that I used to wear or something that just doesn't fit my current body anymore. That's my complex time I think is
00:31:33
Speaker
first pregnancy, I was able to stretch out my clothes a lot longer. I've never been like a body con gal. I've always worn like flowy stuff. So it worked out for me. And this time when it got tighter quicker, I was like, Oh shit, this isn't fun anymore. Yeah. So I totally have bought way more maternity clothes this time and that I feel pretty in that make me happy. And that's, that's been helping a lot for sure. Yeah, but you're right. I would love to have a longer conversation about all that. We definitely,
00:32:02
Speaker
Yeah, we definitely will for sure.
Mom Hacks and Product Recommendations
00:32:05
Speaker
OK, this next one should be quick because I don't have a recommendation, but I know that Whitney does. Someone asked what travel stroller do you recommend?
00:32:13
Speaker
Oh, yes. So we bought the Evenflow gold travel stroller. And I honestly love it because it is so compact. You like press one button and it like shuts down into a little box. I use it more than my UPPAbaby now that Graydon's older. It's just quicker to use and easier to get in and out of my car and it's lighter. We got it on sale at Target for like 80 bucks, but I know that
00:32:42
Speaker
Um, normally it's kind of pricey, like one 90, but if you can find it on sale, I highly recommend. I love it. I need to invest in that. We don't have one yet. And I need, I need one. I love that up a baby in and out of my car. Like an idiot. I know me too. Okay. Uh, this is kind of a wild card, like could be anything. Um, and it is what's the ultimate mom hack?
00:33:08
Speaker
Yeah, this one is a wild card. I thought about it a little bit and I have an answer for me. What has made my life so much better is just, just actually baby proofing my house. Like I kicked that down the can or kicked that can down the road for a while. But once I took the time and just made sure
00:33:35
Speaker
You know, the baby gates are up. There's large areas of my house at this point where I know he cannot die. I know there's nothing that is unsafe that he can reach. And it makes my life so much easier because I can actually like scramble an egg without looking at him. Yeah. And it has given me so much peace of mind. So.
00:33:57
Speaker
Taking the time to actually baby proof everything. Make sure like all the pills and knives and scary things are just out of his reach. I can, I can breathe. There's like space in my brain. That's great advice about him or to, to know that he's just not going to die. Yeah. I like that. Whitney, do you have one?
00:34:21
Speaker
Yeah. Um, I was going to say taking the time to sleep train was my biggest thing. Um, I read the books, taking care of babies and moms on call, um, where that kind of just teaches you at what age or month your newborn or toddler is that, that, uh, how many hours of sleep they should get during the day when their nap should be, how much,
00:34:46
Speaker
food or bottle you should be feeding them, a.k.a. getting all the calories in during the day so they're not waking up in the night. So I felt like sleep training gave me structure and predictability. So that and using cloth diapers as spit rags because they soak up so much quicker. Those are like my two hacks. Oh, yeah, I remember. Take care of babies. I love her. Yeah. Yeah.
00:35:15
Speaker
And I followed moms on call for like everything. I followed that thing like the freaking Bible in the alley. Mine is like super simple and little and I did this on Sunday when we went to the beach. Mine is using a makeup brush to put on your child's sunscreen.
00:35:34
Speaker
because you don't tug at their skin. Alice already, I don't know, maybe this is just an Alice thing, but she loves to watch me put on my makeup and I always give her one of my makeup brushes to just hold and play with while I'm trying to get ready. So she let me do it because I was like, oh, let's put on makeup, blue, blue, blue. And she let me do it. It blended out so much easier. It didn't get in her eyes because I was trying to
00:36:01
Speaker
So definitely next time you're packing your beach or pool bag and need to put sunscreen on your child's face, use a makeup brush. There's some really cheap ones on Amazon. I'm gonna do that. TJ hates when I touch his face. For real, it is like another level of TT, a toddler tantrum with that stuff. Okay, next one is a fun one. Places you love to shop for baby clothes.
00:36:28
Speaker
Whitney, you are fabulous. My God, as I say, Target and Old Navy. I know. But for real though. Yeah, I think for toddler and since Graydon goes to daycare Target and Old Navy just because I don't necessarily care if those clothes get destroyed. But I personally am a shop local person. So I'm going to shout out to Patch Nashville because they have the cutest boy clothes that I've found.
00:36:56
Speaker
And now that I'm shopping for a girl, I love Plaid Rabbit, which has a lot of the smocked outfits and stuff. But I probably will keep her in pajamas up until six months and then the cute outfits can start. So yeah, those are my favorites. What about y'all?
00:37:14
Speaker
Definitely targeted an old Navy and I will go ahead and say I get probably half of TJ's clothes from thrift because he grows out of them so fast. And we have a place in Durham called bean stock. I think they have them throughout the country. Uh, it's super easy to shop. You just go find your age and then like, I pick out whatever I need. Like I just do like a big haul. I'll get like a hundred bucks worth of stuff and it's half of his clothes for the next six months. Yeah.
00:37:43
Speaker
I am not like a fashion girly, but for splurges, I like Janie and Jack for gifts. I like them. And then the kite stuff is just so soft and luscious. I am also a huge Old Navy girly. They just have the best sales. Like if something is not on sale at Old Navy, my rule of thumb is to wait a week and it will go on sale at some point.
00:38:08
Speaker
So, um, I love Old Navy and like I said, they grow out of stuff so fast. It's just so nice that everything is like cheap. And honestly, I have found the Old Navy stuff to be pretty good quality. It is. I also love, um, I love Gap.
00:38:24
Speaker
which I feel like is kind of the same vein. I think Gap and Old Navy are owned by the same company, actually. Yeah, they are. What else? I love a couple local boutiques here in Tampa. I love Butterbug Boutique. They have some great stuff. And then I would say for some of the more trendy things, I really like Baby Zara. They have really great stuff. And it feels like I'm
00:38:49
Speaker
dressing my kid and cute Instagrammable things. I don't know. I feel like I don't have as cute of baby style as Whitney. Oh, what? Whitney has cute stuff. The most expensive item I bought for TJ, I was influenced by Whitney.
00:39:06
Speaker
It's that sweater from Etsy. That is so cute. Worth everything. That was worth it. I agree. I love that. Okie dokie.
Daily Routines and Motherhood Realities
00:39:15
Speaker
This one is specifically for Shan. How do you structure your day as a new stay-at-home mom? Ooh, that's fun.
00:39:24
Speaker
So right now I'll talk about what we're doing. He's 17 months. So we're doing one nap a day. So everything kind of revolves around the nap schedule. When they're doing two naps a day, it's still pretty hard to get out of the house. So we could talk about that maybe separately, but I'll just talk about with one nap in the middle of the day. Um, it kind of varies week.
00:39:49
Speaker
By week day by day but my rule of thumb is to make a plan the day before and know what i'm doing when i wake up in the morning cuz when i wake up with no plan i feel very overwhelmed. So i usually think about it split up between the morning and the afternoon.
00:40:07
Speaker
So I like to take it slow with him in the morning. Like we don't really like get up and get out. We usually play. I have coffee. We do breakfast around like 8 8 30 and plan to get out of the house around 9 30 10 to be home by 11 30 for his new nap. So it's like what's that?
00:40:28
Speaker
hour, hour and a half to two hour activity going to be in the middle of the day. And then I'm going to need another one for the afternoon. And one of them, I try to make outdoors. And one of them, I try to make somewhat social, whether that's meeting up with another mom. That can't happen every day. People have crazy schedules. And a lot of my friends work. So if it's not that, it's something like going to a park or going to the museum.
00:40:57
Speaker
going shopping, like something where I'm going to see other people and like have an opportunity to
00:41:03
Speaker
socialize, even if it's just like chatting with the barista. Um, so I make the plan. I decide what we're going to be doing. Oh, this is another thing I try and squeeze in. If you can find a workout class that will watch your kid. I usually do that in the morning. Um, the class that I like is at 10 and they will take your baby. Um, so it's like breakfast, insert activity.
00:41:29
Speaker
lunch nap during nap, I usually try and clean and tidy for half of it and then relax for half of it. If I need that, or I'll just work on something else. And then he wakes up. We have a snack and then we start that second activity.
00:41:47
Speaker
It's such a good way to think about it, like in a social thing and then an outdoor thing. I love that. If we can't get outdoors, you know, there's like Gymboree type things. We do have a playroom that like we'll use if we need.
00:42:03
Speaker
if it's raining or whatnot, but I find the key to success is blocking out your day, making a plan the night before. So you know what you're getting into the next day. And then usually by five or six, Andrew comes and helps me.
00:42:26
Speaker
And he takes TJ for an hour, hour and a half while I do dinner. If you have a partner where you can split up that evening time, you got to do it. Like to do dinner, bath, bedtime all by yourself is a lot. So if you can split that up with a partner, I think that helps make the day run smooth as well.
00:42:46
Speaker
I love that. Yeah. I really like your idea of like planning your day out before the night before. I feel like I could really, I really need to import that into my day. Especially the weekends, like when Chris and I are kind of like, what do you want to do today? If we had just talked about it Friday night and had something like what you said, a social thing and then an outdoor thing, I feel like I, cause I just need structure in my life. I think that would actually help.
00:43:13
Speaker
plan what we want to do during the weekend. I love it. We tried and implemented over the weekends as well. But for me, I find if I wake up and there's no plan, I'm just like, what am I going to do with you all day? You're frozen. Frozen in time. I'm frozen. Yeah, I feel paralyzed. But the activity is sometimes like, we're going to go to Target and pick out a coloring book. We keep it simple often. Yeah, I was going to say, you don't have to overcomplicate it. The activity can be like anything.
00:43:42
Speaker
Yeah, walking. Okay, so last question.
Reflections and Episode Wrap-Up
00:43:46
Speaker
How similar is motherhood to what you imagined it like? I'll go first if you guys want.
00:43:52
Speaker
I think I thought that I was gonna be more chill and have it all together Yeah, it's so and I feel like in the sense of like I was chill in the sense of like I'm not crazy about like if something falls on the floor Like I let her put it in her mouth. Like I'm not I'm not talking about in that way. I just thought I
00:44:16
Speaker
like my structure of my day would be like chiller than it is now. And I don't know, I kind of pictured myself being how I was as a nanny is truthfully how it felt. I felt like, oh, being a mom is going to be like how I was when I was a nanny, which I had like activities planned and I would put together like crafts and it was like, but it was my job to do that.
00:44:41
Speaker
And now I realize, oh wait, I'm a mom with a full fucking time job and I don't have time to be planning like this crazy activity. I really need to start flexing that muscle on the weekends, honestly, but I just, that's kind of, that's my biggest thing is I really thought I was going to be able to like do more and be a little more like have it all together. And it's like much more of a shit show than I thought it would be in not in a bad way, just the re in the more realistic way.
00:45:11
Speaker
Shannon, you want to go? Yeah, that is true for me as well. I think I'm just, I'm more tired than I thought I would be. I never envisioned this level of tiredness in my life. Um, pretty sleepy. We get used to it and you know, we are able to survive, but like every night I'm like, wow, I am so tired. Um,
00:45:35
Speaker
And then, I mean, I was really looking forward to motherhood. I really enjoy it. I am surprised though. And I still get kind of anxious at times when I, do you ever have like a day or like a period of time where it doesn't seem like your kid is that into you? Like he just like doesn't like you that much. Yeah. It's not like a dog that loves you unconditionally. It's like, Oh, you're a human. Yeah. Those took me by surprise and they continue to, but I've,
00:46:03
Speaker
You know, learn that they're usually just phases, but I did not expect to like have times where it just seemed like he.
00:46:11
Speaker
like didn't care about me or like didn't want to hang out. And those times hurt in the beginning. Yeah, for sure. If you're like, hello, I love you so much, like reciprocate. Reciprocate, reciprocate. I'll say for me, I had no expectations. Like I was never that person that grew up dreaming to be a mom. Did I want a family and picture that with Chris someday? Yes. But I literally had no expectations.
00:46:39
Speaker
And it's definitely like the hardest yet most rewarding thing I've ever done in my life for sure. Like there's days where they're really low and like this morning it was so high. He was in such a good mood. It's just like such a roller coaster. I had no idea how hard it would be and how much respect I have for every frickin' thing that's ever been a mom. So, kudos to us.
00:47:05
Speaker
This has been so much fun. We are going to have to do a part two. We are just getting started with questions. We still have so much more to answer. So we're going to film a part two. I think this has been so fun. What do you guys think? I love those fun. I hope you guys find it relatable and you can take something away into your everyday. Yeah. Thanks for asking all the questions friends.
00:47:24
Speaker
All right. Good part two. Thank you so much for being a part of our mom group chat. New episodes drop every Tuesday and don't forget the group chat is blowing up on our Instagram page. So make sure you're following along over there. All right. Got to go. My toddler just put something in her mouth.