Introduction to Expat Brad Podcast
00:00:04
Speaker
Hey everyone, it's Salman Qureshi and you're listening to the Expat Brad Podcast.
00:00:09
Speaker
We are doing stuff and it's all happening.
00:00:13
Speaker
I am currently out of Dubai and in Rasul Khema, which is, if you don't know, is a neighboring town in the UAE, a different state.
00:00:24
Speaker
And it's really cool.
00:00:28
Speaker
I always wish like a really great day for you guys as you're listening to this because I am having an awesome time.
00:00:37
Speaker
So I've checked into this hotel and for some reason they've given me one of the best rooms I've ever stayed in.
00:00:44
Speaker
Yeah, it's in my top five for sure.
00:00:48
Speaker
It's right by the beach side.
00:00:49
Speaker
The balcony is as huge as the room, which is also really huge.
00:00:55
Speaker
And I'm going to post some pictures on Expat Brad of the room just so you guys can see where I'm staying at when I was recording this.
00:01:05
Speaker
It's not a holiday, though, unfortunately.
Women's Rights Awareness Journey
00:01:07
Speaker
I'm at this resort at the Intercon Hotel in Ras Al Khaimah, some island.
00:01:12
Speaker
I'll tag the name as well because it just is fantastic.
00:01:15
Speaker
One side of my room.
00:01:18
Speaker
One side of my room's balcony overlooks the swimming pool and the whole resort.
00:01:24
Speaker
And the other side faces like the beach side place.
00:01:27
Speaker
I'm kind of like on an island, some sort of.
00:01:31
Speaker
That's my view today.
00:01:32
Speaker
And I hope you have something as wonderful happening right now with you.
00:01:37
Speaker
Because it's not all great everywhere else, man.
00:01:40
Speaker
Today's episode is about me mansplaining women's...
00:01:49
Speaker
I got to be straight faced when I do this.
00:01:52
Speaker
Mansplaining women's rights.
00:01:55
Speaker
And you know why it's happening, because we got all sorts of issues happening around the world, particularly somewhere close to where I live.
00:02:04
Speaker
And it just makes me go, you know, I've always been, listen, you know, I've always been very sympathetic towards, particularly towards what women face.
00:02:15
Speaker
And I think it's because living in Saudi, very early on in my childhood, I happened to come across a banned book called The Princess.
00:02:26
Speaker
and it was about a Saudi royal family girl who kind of dropped some insights into what life was like.
00:02:34
Speaker
And there was a great side, and there was always, of course, the very kind of closed side to it, just like probably any royal family might have, I think, with its own twist because it's Saudi, right?
00:02:47
Speaker
And this is the early 90s, 80s, and all that kind of stuff.
00:02:52
Speaker
I read that and I became more hyper alert to what women face there and how they feel.
00:03:01
Speaker
Up until then, I didn't even know.
00:03:03
Speaker
I was very young and I didn't even know that some women actually had a problem with that.
00:03:09
Speaker
And so even when in our culture, women would be just described as things to be taken care of.
00:03:16
Speaker
I remember listening to this song and the words were in that kind of context.
00:03:21
Speaker
And I was like, we were in the car with a family friend and a friend of my age and his dad and mom and everyone.
00:03:30
Speaker
And I kind of went, yeah, but, you know, don't women feel like they don't want to be described like delicate vessels and that have to be taken care of and stuff.
00:03:39
Speaker
And it became this little debate in the car.
00:03:42
Speaker
About different perspectives.
00:03:45
Speaker
And I think his sister, my friend's sister kind of sided with me a little bit.
00:03:50
Speaker
The mom went, no, you know, in some ways, it's kind of nice to be described like that.
00:03:56
Speaker
And it just depends on your perspective of it.
00:03:58
Speaker
And it was interesting.
00:03:59
Speaker
It was just very interesting to hear those perspectives.
00:04:04
Speaker
And again, you know, just coming back to just being aware that women couldn't drive there and how that annoyed some women and it didn't bother some women
Cultural Changes in Saudi Arabia
00:04:13
Speaker
There was the whole you got to wear the Abaya thing around.
00:04:17
Speaker
And Saudi, like I've said a few times, due credit, they're coming out of that.
00:04:23
Speaker
They've got other great things happening there.
00:04:25
Speaker
So I hope to continue down that path.
00:04:27
Speaker
It's great and encouraging to see that because I really, and I've said this a million times, I really never thought it would happen in my lifetime.
00:04:36
Speaker
So it's great and miracles happen.
00:04:38
Speaker
And so now I wish maybe something like that might happen in Iran.
Comparing Protests: Iran vs France
00:04:43
Speaker
I highly doubt it.
00:04:44
Speaker
It's sad to hear what's happened, you know, but these cases, if you listen to an episode I did a couple of weeks back, I think last week maybe, it's about the Saudi religious police as well.
00:04:57
Speaker
You'll hear similar stories like that.
00:04:59
Speaker
And it doesn't just affect women, though.
00:05:02
Speaker
I think that's why this time the protests have kind of gone viral, if you can use that, you know, and –
00:05:10
Speaker
And the powers that be are genuinely a little worried because it's not something just women are standing up for.
00:05:16
Speaker
It's a general like youth uprising.
00:05:18
Speaker
They're sick of stuff.
00:05:19
Speaker
They're sick of being controlled.
00:05:21
Speaker
And this time it really is like everybody across the country standing up.
00:05:26
Speaker
So what's the deal?
00:05:27
Speaker
Yeah, it's it started with.
00:05:31
Speaker
a girl and her head cover not being appropriate enough for these for their religious police who took her in, beat her up and apparently caused her that.
00:05:42
Speaker
That's that's what the real info coming out seems to be.
00:05:48
Speaker
Iran's in denial about it.
00:05:50
Speaker
And women are up in arms.
00:05:51
Speaker
Now, it's rightfully so.
00:05:55
Speaker
And, you know, it just comes back.
00:05:56
Speaker
One of the things I keep seeing on Twitter and my friends' posts and whatever is the same thing.
00:06:03
Speaker
Women should have the right to choose what they want to wear and...
00:06:08
Speaker
It's their choice, right?
00:06:09
Speaker
And so some people kind of bring the French thing into it.
00:06:14
Speaker
And if you're completely unaware, then France has a burka ban in public spaces.
00:06:19
Speaker
And so women are like, you know, can you just leave us alone?
00:06:24
Speaker
And I'm like, hey, yeah, that makes sense.
00:06:29
Speaker
However, I do have a little bit of like annoyance when they compare France, the situation in France to Iran.
00:06:39
Speaker
France has a burqa ban and some of it stems from security.
00:06:44
Speaker
OK, like the full face cover, because although people are wearing masks sometimes now.
00:06:51
Speaker
It can be a security risk.
00:06:53
Speaker
You don't know who's underneath that, right?
00:06:55
Speaker
And they want to identify faces and stuff.
00:06:58
Speaker
And I think maybe part of it for me, I'm a little biased towards it, is because I do think the face ban, it just completely takes away any identity of the person and it's complete brainwash stuff.
00:07:13
Speaker
So, yeah, I don't know.
00:07:14
Speaker
I'm being a little controversial.
00:07:16
Speaker
Maybe it's not about trying to be controversial.
00:07:18
Speaker
I'm just trying to work this out myself.
00:07:22
Speaker
And and so I do have a problem at the same time.
00:07:25
Speaker
Freedom and the right to do something that kind of comes into play.
00:07:30
Speaker
And I'm like, I know they just want to wear it.
00:07:32
Speaker
It's their religion.
00:07:33
Speaker
Like, you know, if they believe that part is very strong.
00:07:37
Speaker
When I say they, obviously I'm Muslim myself, but I mean this extra religious sect that feels like the faith should be covered too.
00:07:46
Speaker
I don't know, man.
00:07:47
Speaker
It doesn't sit well with me.
00:07:49
Speaker
But my main point, right, the reason I don't like it being compared is because in France, it's a ban.
00:07:56
Speaker
And so, you know, no one's getting murdered for it.
00:08:02
Speaker
You know, you're not getting picked up and arrested and possibly abducted.
00:08:07
Speaker
And God knows what kind of torture happens.
00:08:10
Speaker
It's not the first time that stuff has happened there.
00:08:14
Speaker
And I know what kind of environment that stuff creates firsthand.
00:08:18
Speaker
OK, I've lived in both places in Saudi Iran and everything.
Clothing, Control, and Conformity
00:08:22
Speaker
So I'm not I'm not just saying it.
00:08:25
Speaker
It's it's that's the reason the comparison hits me a little hard.
00:08:28
Speaker
I'm like, I know what France is doing is still wrong, but you don't have to bring it up every time people bring up Iran's issue right now because, you know, you have some Muslim guilt or you don't want to.
00:08:44
Speaker
Some people just, you know, it comes into religion and stuff as well, right?
00:08:47
Speaker
So you're like, hey, man, if I speak up against it, then am I speaking up against God and my religion?
00:08:55
Speaker
Just, I don't know how to stop that.
00:08:57
Speaker
So that's why I hate when people bring that up.
00:08:59
Speaker
It's like every time something bad happens somewhere, people have to go, but what about this, right?
00:09:04
Speaker
And I get it sometimes.
00:09:06
Speaker
The hypocrisy has to be noted out.
00:09:07
Speaker
The Ukraine thing versus refugees from other places, we all know that story.
00:09:12
Speaker
And it really was tough.
00:09:14
Speaker
It was just terrible.
00:09:16
Speaker
But at the same time, I'm also like, yeah, just yeah, you got to bite your tongue sometime and and not make it about you every time.
00:09:25
Speaker
Does that make sense?
00:09:26
Speaker
But in this case, I think it does.
00:09:29
Speaker
So, yeah, man, stop comparing the France and Iran thing.
00:09:34
Speaker
Just at the same time, you got to highlight the women's thing.
00:09:37
Speaker
This is so confusing, right?
00:09:39
Speaker
It's a good thing I'm explaining this as a guy so that you can truly understand it.
00:09:44
Speaker
So there's so many layers to this about what women should wear.
00:09:47
Speaker
And then it goes, how far do you go the other way?
00:09:51
Speaker
What about society and having to see someone's ugly body completely naked, topless at the beach?
00:09:58
Speaker
Do we stop that too?
00:10:03
Speaker
I think some bodies should be covered, but that's just me.
00:10:06
Speaker
And I include myself in it, all right?
00:10:07
Speaker
Body shaming myself here.
00:10:10
Speaker
But you got to go.
00:10:14
Speaker
how far the other way do you go as well, right?
00:10:20
Speaker
Is that a general rule?
00:10:21
Speaker
We're applying to all people that go, hey, how much do you monitor clothing?
00:10:25
Speaker
I have a hard time with that because I have my own perspective on it.
00:10:28
Speaker
I went to a school where I had to wear a uniform and I just always hated that, right?
00:10:35
Speaker
I hate the fact that you're confined to wearing something to suit
00:10:41
Speaker
that place like schooling had that and then some jobs have that like in banks you have to wear a suit and tie completely hated that all the time that was probably one of the reasons i left it because i had to wear a stupid tie you know if there was no time maybe i might have stuck around in that job for longer um but that's always been my problem and anytime people start kind of forcing me into that
00:11:05
Speaker
It's a pet peeve because it comes from this idea of conformity.
00:11:10
Speaker
And I don't like it.
00:11:12
Speaker
It's like my spidey sense goes up and goes, hey, there's too much control coming down here.
00:11:19
Speaker
So I'm always like, I don't want that to happen.
00:11:23
Speaker
I don't want to go through that.
00:11:27
Speaker
But I get sometimes uniforms help.
00:11:30
Speaker
Like if you're a sports team, you can look good while doing it too.
00:11:33
Speaker
But that's because if you have like a cool thing and you're proud of wearing it.
00:11:38
Speaker
I don't think that applies in Burger King.
00:11:44
Speaker
It's not the same pride.
00:11:47
Speaker
And you're not respected in the same way.
00:11:49
Speaker
And it's kind of forced down on you.
00:11:51
Speaker
Why is it, though, now that I'm thinking about it, if I was in a sports team, if I was playing for the Chicago Bulls, I'd be proud of that outfit.
00:12:00
Speaker
But if I was working in it, I guess it's the kind of work.
00:12:03
Speaker
right it's what people associate with it when you wear there are only a few uniforms that if you wore people would love right or respect you for it way too many uniforms do not bring that out but in fact define you as a lower powerful person less powerful person not even powerful right
00:12:29
Speaker
So imagine a soldier and then someone working in the fast food chain or a janitor.
00:12:35
Speaker
And I hate stereotyping, but that's how people think.
00:12:39
Speaker
And so that uniform defines you in a bad way in one place and defines you in a good way in another place.
00:12:48
Speaker
So how do you – so then I hate that uniform thing.
00:12:51
Speaker
But what do you do?
00:12:52
Speaker
Some places you need it out of health and security.
00:12:55
Speaker
How do I get into uniforms and stuff, right?
00:12:57
Speaker
My point was it's about the control on what you wear and how much does that apply, right?
00:13:05
Speaker
If you're employed, I guess you don't have a choice, right?
00:13:08
Speaker
You have to wear what your boss imagines – thinks it should be.
00:13:11
Speaker
And so then you got to go, maybe I got to get out of this job or something.
00:13:17
Speaker
You're trying to think outside and think, yeah, I got to do something about just removing myself from this situation.
00:13:24
Speaker
It's bad for me having to wear this uniform.
00:13:30
Speaker
I also think maybe if you allowed...
00:13:33
Speaker
If I was smart, if I had my own business, I'd tell people to my employees to design what they want to wear because then they're the ones that have decided it and they get a chance to like add some comments and stuff.
00:13:46
Speaker
So when they wear it, they have some pride in it as opposed to top down forcing.
00:13:52
Speaker
That's the smarter way to go.
00:13:53
Speaker
That's always the smarter way to go.
00:13:55
Speaker
Get people involved.
00:13:56
Speaker
And then you go, oh my God, too many people have too many ideas.
00:13:58
Speaker
Maybe you got to find a middle ground, right?
00:14:02
Speaker
Like just find that middle ground.
00:14:03
Speaker
Get some kind of contribution from them.
00:14:05
Speaker
So they go, I had, I got a say in it, in what I have to wear every day.
00:14:12
Speaker
That would be pretty cool.
00:14:14
Speaker
I think it would take a bit more time, but it's not a life in that situation.
00:14:19
Speaker
You're not like, oh my God, if I don't get this done today, then it'll just be a disaster for the company.
Psychological and Socio-economic Control
00:14:29
Speaker
No, it'll take more time, but then you'll get to get more buy in and empower your employees.
00:14:37
Speaker
That makes sense to me now.
00:14:39
Speaker
So the same thing with coming down to freedom of what you want to wear anywhere with the women and stuff, empower them, man.
00:14:46
Speaker
So, oh, my God, I'm just I'm just so clever.
00:14:52
Speaker
Sometimes when I speak, I just go, I'm really, just really clever.
00:14:59
Speaker
But too many people mix this issue up with their own personal things.
00:15:05
Speaker
Like another friend of mine was telling me, in fact, a few of them have told me how there's a debate in their family.
00:15:13
Speaker
And usually the older generation is more conservative and they want things to keep going the same way and they want to support the leadership.
00:15:22
Speaker
And the young generation is like, man, we're tired of being told what to do and can't do and blah, blah, blah.
00:15:28
Speaker
So it's that involvement and that personal emotions that come in as a problem with human beings, I swear, where this kind of stuff just kind of starts killing us off.
00:15:39
Speaker
And we become different things.
00:15:45
Speaker
The other point is with all this stuff, I think it's an economical thing as well.
00:15:52
Speaker
Economics are involved as well because I'll tell you why.
00:15:56
Speaker
This is another reason people want to meddle in this stuff, right?
00:16:00
Speaker
It's something you can control.
00:16:02
Speaker
When you can tell people what to wear, you can control that.
00:16:05
Speaker
In a lot of countries where even the middle class have no power, they have no power over electricity cuts, right?
00:16:13
Speaker
Over the rising prices of petrol and being able to take care of their family and just generally the politics and everything.
00:16:21
Speaker
They have no control.
00:16:22
Speaker
So they're sitting there just really deprived of any power and feeling helpless.
00:16:27
Speaker
And they go, how do I...
00:16:29
Speaker
And I think that's a general human being thing to do.
00:16:32
Speaker
How do I look down at someone else so I can feel good about myself and exert some kind of control?
00:16:38
Speaker
What areas can I do that in?
00:16:40
Speaker
And so they focus on that and they exert extra control on that just so they feel more powerful and more in control of something.
00:16:50
Speaker
I'm not justifying it.
00:16:52
Speaker
I'm just telling you why people do stuff.
00:16:55
Speaker
So then you go, okay, if I have no control over the government and my roads are terrible, there are potholes everywhere.
00:17:03
Speaker
The systems are terrible.
00:17:05
Speaker
I go in to get something done in a government office and they treat me badly and I have to sit there for hours and they treat me like shit.
00:17:13
Speaker
And I go to my work and I can't quit my job because I need the money and the economy is so bad.
00:17:18
Speaker
There's no other job out there.
00:17:20
Speaker
So I have to take the shit from my boss who's a terrible person and just, you know, makes my life miserable.
00:17:26
Speaker
But I got to take it.
00:17:27
Speaker
And then you have stupid colleagues who might be pulling a fast one on you and you take all this information.
00:17:32
Speaker
And you come back and you're frustrated because you can't own a car that's decent.
00:17:37
Speaker
It always breaks down.
00:17:39
Speaker
Your kid's schooling is starting to freak you out because they keep raising the cost of it.
00:17:44
Speaker
And all of this, you just come back home and you go, hey, what can I control?
00:17:49
Speaker
Who can I make fun of?
00:17:50
Speaker
So you make fun of the marginalized community because that makes you strong.
00:17:53
Speaker
It just puts you on a higher pedestal and it feels nice for a little bit.
Religion and Control
00:17:57
Speaker
And then you can tell women what to wear and that makes you feel a little better.
00:18:01
Speaker
And you find things like that.
00:18:02
Speaker
to keep doing all right catch yourself doing it if you're one of those people and now you know and you gotta go i gotta give up this need for control all right it's as simple as that so you know but that's that's the gist of why i think a lot of people have this issue and religion has different angles also obviously because it encourages this whole thing and people go
00:18:28
Speaker
We have to make this happen.
00:18:32
Speaker
And yeah, that's how we do it, man.
00:18:36
Speaker
Anywho, this got a little heavy and maybe I got a little angry.
00:18:42
Speaker
It just is me trying to clear my head again and trying to figure this out.
00:18:45
Speaker
If you think I made any sense, then tell me that I made sense.
00:18:50
Speaker
I'm going to listen back to this episode myself a couple of times to go, hey, did I figure out what I was trying to say?
00:18:58
Speaker
It's hard sometimes.
00:19:01
Speaker
I'm done speaking about that.
TV Show Recommendations
00:19:04
Speaker
I've been watching Industry Season 2.
00:19:07
Speaker
It's a great show.
00:19:08
Speaker
You guys should too.
00:19:09
Speaker
It's very out there.
00:19:12
Speaker
I can only compare it to like…
00:19:15
Speaker
It's like a billions show, which I think if you haven't watched that, the first three seasons are amazing.
00:19:23
Speaker
Great acting, great writing, just really nice twists and turns.
00:19:27
Speaker
I didn't like one of the main leads leaving, so I stopped watching it.
00:19:31
Speaker
But it's a great show, especially the first three seasons.
00:19:34
Speaker
Now, industry is a bit around the same world, the Wall Street, moneymakers and all that.
00:19:40
Speaker
Which can get sickening sometimes, but I like watching it.
00:19:45
Speaker
And industry has a younger perspective of new people coming into it.
00:19:50
Speaker
So it's really cool.
00:19:51
Speaker
It's like an updated group story of Wall Street the movie, the original Wall Street.
00:20:00
Speaker
It has a lot of twists and turns.
00:20:02
Speaker
There's a lot of things going on.
00:20:03
Speaker
It goes deep into the characters.
00:20:06
Speaker
You don't really love any of them because they're all like nasty in some way.
00:20:11
Speaker
And it's very honest and great writing again.
00:20:16
Speaker
The first couple of episodes, after watching season one, I was a bit like one of the main characters.
00:20:21
Speaker
I was just like a little off her.
00:20:23
Speaker
And so it was annoying me, her habits.
00:20:25
Speaker
But then the season, like the story really picks up.
00:20:29
Speaker
Actually, the story is great throughout.
00:20:30
Speaker
I was just annoyed with that character.
00:20:33
Speaker
And once it picks up, it just goes bam, bam, bam.
00:20:35
Speaker
And the final two, three episodes are killer.
00:20:38
Speaker
It ends on a real nice twist and high level.
00:20:41
Speaker
and leaves me like a good, I guess, series should, leaves me wanting more and leaves me wanting to hope that season three is going to be done, which I think has been announced, which is great.
00:20:54
Speaker
You know, again, the staff, the staff, the cast is really good.
00:20:59
Speaker
Some good acting in there.
00:21:01
Speaker
The writing, again, is good.
00:21:04
Speaker
What I like about it, it doesn't dumbify the jargon going on, but at the same time, it doesn't matter that you don't get it because they do talk financial terms, use financial terms and blah, blah, blah.
00:21:20
Speaker
But it could have become too heavy and kind of distracted.
00:21:24
Speaker
But I think at no point, and I think Billions was good at that too.
00:21:28
Speaker
At no point you go, just because I don't get the financial market and the whole thing around it, I'm going to switch off.
00:21:34
Speaker
The story is compelling.
00:21:36
Speaker
The people are compelling enough for you to be hooked on.
00:21:40
Speaker
Yeah, that's something I've been watching.
00:21:43
Speaker
I think the other show I've been watching that I've enjoyed has been Wrexham, the football club.
00:21:48
Speaker
I mentioned that a few times.
00:21:50
Speaker
It's a club in Wales that two Hollywood Ryan Reynolds and what's his name?
00:21:57
Speaker
See, that's the beauty of it.
00:21:58
Speaker
Now we know his name.
00:22:00
Speaker
They bought this football club.
00:22:01
Speaker
They're revamping it and blah, blah, blah.
00:22:04
Speaker
And it's a nice documentary on it.
00:22:07
Speaker
And now you've got strangers all around the world rooting for a football club in Wales.
00:22:13
Speaker
It's not even like a Premier League club.
00:22:17
Speaker
People are buying the gear for it.
00:22:19
Speaker
It's such a Hollywood thing.
00:22:20
Speaker
cool story move a Hollywood move that's amazing I gotta give it to them they did really well with that so those two things are things I've enjoyed I wanted to end on a lighter note after this whole episode watch that stuff tell me what you think about it too um
00:22:36
Speaker
Like I said, industry is a good show.
00:22:38
Speaker
Wrexham, pretty good, fun documentary.
00:22:41
Speaker
Both entertaining enough to spend some time on.
00:22:44
Speaker
Now, I got to get back to work.
00:22:46
Speaker
I have to leave my beautiful room to go down.
00:22:49
Speaker
I'm running a workshop on theater acting for some corporate industry.
Conclusion and Listener Engagement
00:22:55
Speaker
And yeah, so hopefully I'll end it exactly on time and get some time at the pool in this hotel.
00:23:03
Speaker
That'll be awesome.
00:23:04
Speaker
So that's what I'm looking forward to.
00:23:05
Speaker
You guys have a great day ahead.
00:23:07
Speaker
And keep a lookout for the pictures.
00:23:09
Speaker
I'll put them up on my Expat Brad podcast Instagram handle.
00:23:15
Speaker
Not on the handle, on the page.
00:23:16
Speaker
So, yeah, keep a lookout.
00:23:17
Speaker
Share the episode.
00:23:19
Speaker
Show me some love.
00:23:20
Speaker
Leave a five-star rating on Apple and share the episode, man.
00:23:25
Speaker
That goes a long way.
00:23:28
Speaker
Or, as a dog would say, woof.