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Episode 35: Goblin Games – Brewing Up a Frenzy
125 Plays6 years ago
Hello, Podwalkers, and welcome to the Goblin Lore Podcast!
In our thirty-fifth episode, Hobbes and Joe discuss their favorite beverage – coffee – and how it's made and where it comes from on the plane of Ravnica. Thanks to the card Experimental Frenzy, we know it exists in this world, giving us a peek into some of the worldbuilding information that fleshes out one of the most popular planes in Magic Story!
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You can find the hosts on Twitter: Joe Redemann at @Fyndhorn, Hobbes Q. at @HobbesQ, and Alex Newman at @AlexanderNewm. Send questions, comments, thoughts, hopes, and dreams to @GoblinLorePod on Twitter or GoblinLorePodcast@gmail.com.
Opening and closing music by Wintergatan (@wintergatan). Logo art by Steven Raffael (@SteveRaffle).
Goblin Lore is proud to be presented by Hipsters of the Coast, and a part of their growing Vorthos content – as well as Magic content of all kinds. Check them out at hipstersofthecoast.com.
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Transcript
Introduction to Coffee on Ravnica
00:00:11
Speaker
Hello and welcome to another episode of Goblin Lore, presented to you by Hipsters of the Coast. In this episode, Another Goblin Games, Hobbs Q and I will be talking about coffee on the plane of Ravnica.
00:00:26
Speaker
We wanted to get this episode out to you while we were still on the plane of Ravnica in Magic Story, so we hope you enjoy just a silly little look at something that was added to the background of the world of Magic Lore. Without any further ado, let's get to the show.
Meet the Hosts: HobSkew and Joe Redmond
00:00:50
Speaker
Hello Podwalkers, and welcome to a Goblin Games episode of the Goblin Lore podcast.
00:00:56
Speaker
I am your host, HobSkew. I can be found on Twitter, at HobSkew, and I'm joined today by my co-host, Joe Redmond.
00:01:03
Speaker
Hi, that's me. I'm very excited. This is a fun episode. This is going to be a fun episode. Do you want to tell people where you're from, Joe? Oh. Where to find you? Any of those? Where I'm from, I guess I'm from Twitter is what you're meaning to say. And specifically where I can be found, which corner of Twitter I can be found at, is at Findhorn. That's F-Y-N-D Horn.
Magic Card with a Coffee Reference
00:01:28
Speaker
Yeah, we're here to talk today about coffee. I mean, specifically,
00:01:32
Speaker
A card inspired us to have this discussion because these goblin games. I do fully admit to being highly caffeinated person. As do I. And the card. We call those HCPs. It's a technical term. At least we're not ICP. Is that the clown? That's the Rakdos. Okay, that's the Rakdos. Well, we're not with the Rakdos
Real-World References in Magic: The Gathering
00:01:53
Speaker
today. I mean, we're coming at this from a little bit of an is it standpoint, at least from where the card comes from.
00:02:00
Speaker
Well, we want to jump off a discussion about coffee today, inspired by an actual in-game reference to our favorite beverage. Experimental Frenzy says, flavor text that says, turns out that coffee is the weird ant of invention, kind of being a play on a classic phrase of
00:02:22
Speaker
Uh, what is it? Uh, Oh my gosh, necessity is the mother of invention. There it is. That's what it is. So to play on that, so to get a little bit of a weird, I know I've actually saw some people online who do not like this labor text because it, they felt that it was too kind of.
00:02:38
Speaker
Cheesy or kitschy and kind of and I think that's an interesting critique. No, I agree I like this flavor text. I like the We're gonna talk a little bit more about you know, how this does maybe fit into the world of Magic the Gathering but I mean
00:02:55
Speaker
Kind of I guess I consider myself sort of a I Don't know a flavor fundamentalist I guess when you see something on the cards for the most part Like that's about as close to cannon as we get you know any any definitive sort of thing in magic and so I kind of like that we can see an element of the real world in a
00:03:19
Speaker
in the game in Magic the Gathering and can see a bit of our own habits in
Coffee in the World of Magic: The Gathering
00:03:24
Speaker
there. But I do understand, I was listening to a Star Wars podcast the other day actually that said, it was talking about like jokes that border on real world references and this sort of pushes in that space. And some people have said like, yeah, that takes me out of that world, you know? And so I can get the critique. I don't really agree with it in this situation, but I understand it, I guess.
00:03:46
Speaker
Yeah, no, I mean, I can understand it. It is kind of silly, but I mean, you're also talking to a diehard Foglio fan that will take kind of some of that goofy, cartoony art and cartoony kind of niche and kind of silliness being okay. And like you said, being that it is kind of canon, it does give us a reference to coffee in Magic the Gathering. Right. Specifically on our city world of Ravnica.
Guilds and Coffee Culture in Ravnica
00:04:15
Speaker
and so yeah what we're kind of deducing from this because again if we if we assume and accept that you know things that are intentionally placed in art or in flavor text are canon we sort of have to now place this in our own understanding of the world right so so we now have to figure out okay we're
00:04:35
Speaker
Where does coffee come from? How is it produced? How is it brewed? We did an episode a couple months ago about, maybe it was only a month ago. Gosh, the winter's been long. You do know that we still have more months of that, Joe. I don't want to think about that. We live in Minnesota. I need to clutch my coffee closer. Let's try saying that five times fast.
00:04:59
Speaker
But, you know, we did that episode on what sort of jobs and careers fit into what guilds on Ravnica. And so, you know, it's interesting to think about sort of the supply chain of coffee in the real world and how that might be replicated on Ravnica. Yeah. I mean, just from a simple standpoint of who brews the coffee, who grows the beans, who harvests the beans,
00:05:25
Speaker
who sells it. There is a whole wide range of people that could go into the coffee trade. It almost seems like it passes through almost everybody's hands before it gets to you and me, Joe Schmo's, down Tin Street. Yeah, Tin Street Alley at the...
00:05:44
Speaker
What would the name be? Oh, we need a good coffee shop name for Ravnica It wouldn't be it wouldn't be caribou would be like glimmer point stag Boo. Wow. No, you do realize that that is a very Midwest reference to the caribou Oh, is that only a Midwest day? Yeah, that's okay Starbucks is across the nation See, no, that's yeah, but that's too
00:06:18
Speaker
I don't know, that's a really good question. We'll have
Creative Coffee Shop Names on Ravnica
00:06:20
Speaker
to think about that. If you've got suggestions for what Ravnica's largest coffee chain is, you should send them in either in our Discord chat for Patreon members or, you know, throw them at us on Twitter. At goblinlorpod, hashtag coffee, coffee, coffee? The longest MTG coffee?
00:06:35
Speaker
I don't know what would happen around here.
00:06:45
Speaker
Uh, yeah, or hot a hot a for a latte I Was actually gonna go a shambleshark
Guild Roles in Coffee Production
00:06:53
Speaker
bucks. Oh, that's good. That's pretty darn good. I like that Yeah, I mean the question now becomes are simic really the ones running? The copy shop oh Let's see and so then maybe we get into that so let's talk about that's growing we start we start with that right That's where the whole process begins. Yeah, who's growing the beans? Oh?
00:07:16
Speaker
It's gotta be the Golgari, right? There are farmers, you know? They're the ones who produce the food substances and all this stuff. So now I'm having problems because I'm already picturing dead bodies being the soil of my coffee beans.
00:07:34
Speaker
You don't think dead bodies are used? I mean, they're not usually human bodies, I would hope. I meant intentionally using dead bodies for soil. I mean, Hobbs, you got to think about this. We in the first world are just, you know, a couple of couple of three, four steps removed from the very nitty gritty basics. And I'm betting you there's a cow leg or something sticking out of a coffee bean ditch somewhere in Colombia.
00:08:04
Speaker
I am very willing to buy that is the Golgari. I just, I think the implications of that are, are a little. Yeah. Yes. A little grizzly. Yeah. It's not great. It's not a great thought. That's for sure. I mean, yes, but they are farmers, right? I mean, they, they are basically our farmers. I mean, you know, unless the Simic are doing weird things with coffee beans in the lab,
00:08:32
Speaker
Oh, sure. Maybe they're the ones who sort of build in those flavor coffees, but they actually breed the coffee beans, like cross-breed the coffee beans and the hazelnut to get hazelnut coffee. Right. I mean, that's what I'm thinking. There is kind of new strains or strands.
00:08:52
Speaker
What we just learned is that they definitely are the pot growers are sending. Well, yeah, obviously, obviously. But I can see them having their hand in coffee. I mean, depending on the regulation of the coffee market, it could be made to be more addictive in the lab. I mean, I could totally buy that. You know, if you really want strong stuff. But like you said, bringing in flavors on. I don't know. Yeah, maybe actually like you.
00:09:21
Speaker
Yeah. Maybe they do like sort of the, um, you know how with beer, they sort of do like gravity brewing to like basically pummel extra alcohol content into the beer or high pressure. Maybe it's, maybe it's that same sort of process that they're like using science and that sort of thing to, uh, to get extra caffeine content. Although that, that also sounds like it all borders a little bit on is it territory.
00:09:45
Speaker
We're using high-pressure boilers and stuff the high-pressure boiler what you're saying is that you know I was gonna say they are definitely the simic or are probably Finding ways to get the caffeine Into the actual bean versus the is it who are finding ways to extract it from the be in the actual like during the brewing process Yeah during the you know the roasting hmm
00:10:10
Speaker
Okay, so we've got we've got grow on our supply chain. We've got growers We kind of skipped a step here are the Golgari harvesting themselves Or they know okay. No, the harvesters are definitely Wow Sometimes your mind just goes blank you need more coffee the the green white guild Selesnya Selesnya hmm. Okay. Why do you say that?
00:10:40
Speaker
They just seem to be more in touch with the Earth than I think that the harvesting process involves that.
00:10:45
Speaker
Oh, sure. So rather than just hacking down all of the plants to be processed, they might be a little more gentle. They might actually be able to talk to the plant and the plant would release the beans nicely and gently. This is how we're getting our beans ethically so I can feel better about the trade market of coffee in the Ravnica world. That's Ravnica in fair trade. Yeah. I mean, this is the ethical growing slash harvesting.
00:11:12
Speaker
There is some some stuff going on. I mean, yeah. So when they say they're just throwing stuff wherever dead bodies are, it's kind of like free range coffee. Right, right, right. Yeah, it's free range. But so when they say it's organic, do they literally mean the coffee plants are conscious? Because that also freaks me out. I think that freaks me out more than zombie bones.
00:11:38
Speaker
When you were going with organic, I thought you were going to make a play on the word organ because they see it all. It's a nice big circle of life. I kind of like this idea that when I die, maybe by like decane will cause somebody to get really good coffee. I'm OK with this. I'm a lot better about this.
00:12:00
Speaker
The Golgari are certainly, they certainly help you stay at peace with life and death there. Right. Okay, so we've got- I don't know about the life part, but yes. So we've got growers, we've got harvesters. Yes. We've got sort of strain experimenters, breeders, I guess, in the simic.
00:12:26
Speaker
The simulator definitely got their hands in this. Yeah, yeah. No, absolutely. They're messing around with flavor profiles and all sorts of things like that. They're the weird like agricultural departments at colleges that are really nerdy about it. Yeah, absolutely. You know that they're just real picky about like bean size and shape too, because it's like all those very, you know, intricate specifics.
00:12:52
Speaker
See, and I was thinking that that's where also we're gonna get the Azorius involved with this. It's like a weights and measures kind of standards of coffee. Sure, sure. Regulation and- Yeah, regulation. They definitely have an FDA sort of food and drug administration sort of weighing somewhere. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that definitely comes into play. And I bet you they're just standing over their shoulder of every single one of these groups, like just making notes on a clipboard throughout the whole process.
00:13:21
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Until the eyebrows get burned off by the exit. Yeah, just like being fine after fine for violations and everyone just kind of goes, eh, whatever, it's fine. Okay, so we've already said, so now, this now, so we had a kind of a discussion, there was a discussion about this on Twitter a while ago. Friend of the cast, Rob McGurganators, the ex, who kind of talked about this.
00:13:48
Speaker
He said that he thinks gruel make the best coffee because he says that they keep it simple and keep it clean Interesting cry that heat with it And I said is it has made the technology to make the best cup but simic grow the best best Being so I I had them a little bit higher up on there, okay? Bailfire Strix friend Michelle said the rat goes I
00:14:14
Speaker
because red and black are all about hedonism. So they want to enjoy oneself to the fullest, and they also provide a lot of cooking and catering for the rest of Ravnica. Creativity and selfish indulgence can really hone the best cup, plus their experienced roasters. That does make me think, as you read that, that does make me think that Rakdos is the guild that would most unapologetically order a pumpkin spice latte.
00:14:45
Speaker
They're like, I want the flavor and I don't care what anyone thinks of me about it. I will wear my Uggs, I will light them on fire for all I care, and I'm gonna order a PSL. Yes with whip.
00:15:01
Speaker
Not fat with whip. Well, obviously, obviously. Yeah, I mean, they're performers. Yep. Thank you. Now, I will say that we got some thumbs up with some up pointing fingers from Allison Lores to the rack goes.
00:15:18
Speaker
comments oh oh okay so what we said about cannon that this comes close this is like you know it's not quite word of god yep but it's like what word of god adjacent yeah yeah yeah that's interesting and laurel i weasels underscore sev eight said the most expensive cup on ravnica is made from
Humorous Coffee Preferences Among Guilds
00:15:39
Speaker
beans roasted by the fiery flatulence flatulence of raccoes himself
00:15:45
Speaker
Yeah, thanks. Thanks, Lorelei. We appreciate that. Yeah. So yeah, so I'm just so so there is kind of a so that this is where we I think we know that the roasting process so we're not even to the store yet, depending. I mean, if it's a chain, they probably are roasted off site. Now we are kind of getting into or or it could be that we have different coffee shops based on
00:16:11
Speaker
what type of coffee you want or how you want your coffee prepared. Yeah, I don't get has to be that. Yeah, because the rack goes I think that makes a really good case for their good. They'll know how to roast beans. They're gonna like want a ton of hedonism and flavor really full. But
00:16:31
Speaker
If you just want, and somebody says this later on in the thread, you know, is it have mastered the quintuple shot espresso? We know that this card, to begin with, said that caffeine is, you know, the weird ant of invention. And that is because we think of the caffeine and how it's prepared. Well, you joked about the steam power, but that really is the process by which we would do something like espresso.
00:16:55
Speaker
If you want a really good espresso, you are going to go to a coffee shop that has is it people at least working or has had the recipes perfected by the is it.
00:17:06
Speaker
Yeah, I think when we get into, if we want to get into the differences between the kinds of coffee that each would consume, I think is it definitely want theirs packed with caffeine, but also, I think they want theirs efficient. They want as much caffeine and as little liquid as possible, and they want as much of it available as possible.
00:17:28
Speaker
and quickly and quickly right so they're probably willing to pay a lot of price a lot you know to a lot of uh you know energy and and like literal mana energy to pump into this to to get themselves the kind of you know the the the energy
00:17:49
Speaker
I'm saying energy a lot. I need more coffee. To get them the kind of beverage that they need to keep fueling their experiments. Right. We could be talking about, too, this does get into who is going to perfect different ... For instance,
00:18:10
Speaker
It could be that the rackos really are the roasters, whereas the is it, because we talked about this, you know, we joke about that are steam powered machines. They're created the machinery to actually then make the coffee. So the roasting process is another step. You know, that's getting the flavor into the beans through fire to kind of, you know, that's that's what you do with the beans. You have to roast them. So the rackos, I fully admit, they're the ones responsible. But the coffee machines themselves have to have been built by the is it? Oh, yeah, absolutely.
00:18:40
Speaker
Yeah, I mean anything that's like an espresso machine, a frother, even something that like just is a very high end like, ooh, the grinders themselves. Oh, sure. Because that seems more rectos. Unless unless you do want to go for a very sort of down to earth, like hippy dippy sort of thing. And there you might just go to a classic gruel mortar and pastel, which is really just a war club and a big stone.
00:19:13
Speaker
You indirectly get it when you're bashing in somebody's head and there's oh, yeah beans with it Yeah, yeah happen to ambush somebody coming, you know with a with a big bag of beans over their shoulder, right? Yeah, nice fresh grounds. Yeah, I know so I was thinking you know that we Sample shark bucks probably is a very specific line there. It's gonna have your pumpkin spice lattes It's gonna be about having a consistent same cup every time you go in hmm
00:19:42
Speaker
But the gruel maybe do run like more of your just specialty coffee shop that is known for like you said, everything is definitely by hand by hand. Yeah, the copy itself is made by hand. It's been roasted on site.
00:20:02
Speaker
Yeah, they're definitely sort of the boutique coffee shop, I think. Yeah. No, I agree with that. I was thinking, too, Orzhov might be involved on a level that's sort of similar to the Simic and Shambleshark bucks, of course.
00:20:21
Speaker
Where it is a little more of a chain a little more of a you know again consistency But they might be the like the fancier high-end sort of luxury Cup of coffee, you know, maybe maybe it's not even like a coffee shop because you can't just go in and get that cup of coffee but they the coffee that they make is like the after dinner like with dessert coffee that you have and
00:20:45
Speaker
Yes. You know, they will only serve it at like your five star restaurants after you finished your steak dinner and all that sort of stuff. And then it'll randomly add on like an extra ten dollars that you weren't expecting your bill, but you're going to pay it. Right. Right. It's just a it's a, you know, obvious surcharge that has to go on. Right. I mean, as of right now, the only people we don't have involved in this process are who do we have left? We have the Boros.
00:21:16
Speaker
And I'm not really sure how we're going to get them involved other than, you know,
00:21:22
Speaker
Yeah, they're definitely consumers. I mean, seriously, I mean, can you imagine like getting up and doing military drills without a cup of coffee? So like they're the, you know, maybe they're the target audience. Yeah, absolutely. That's who we're marketing to. Although to be fair, if I wonder if the Boros might be more of an audience for like whatever Ravnica's version of Red Bull is.
00:21:47
Speaker
I don't know. They're slamming monster. Oh, yeah. They're just going ham at that. Yeah. Those bandoliers they have, they're not. They don't have like, you know, mana vials or anything there. It's just Red Bull. Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah. And like I said, I think it's not like the Demir. I mean, they're probably needing to conduct most of their business in
00:22:14
Speaker
One of the locations, but do you think the demir drink coffee actually? No, no, no, no, because I wonder if because of their focus on like mental magic and and like dragging out thoughts of people Maybe they don't like maybe don't consume any sort of chemical beverage or anything Yeah, I mean but I said I could see them meeting at the coffee shop to steal the Wi-Fi
00:22:41
Speaker
Totally. Yep. Oh, yeah, they're they're the people who like will not buy something it'll just lean over and ask somebody for the Wi-Fi password Yeah, they're like And like like while showing how much money that they could be spending there if they wanted to yeah, yeah
00:22:57
Speaker
They're they're the ones yeah. Oh, yeah, the demir definitely are the hipsters who go to the coffee shops and don't have it They'll maybe like buy a scone some days Some days, but yeah, but are there every single day? Oh, yeah, of course and they definitely are taking up most of the outlets Yep, I think I think that's it we nailed it. Who are we even missing? Who are we missing from this chain?
Fictional Coffee Supply Chain on Ravnica
00:23:25
Speaker
I don't know if we're missing anything really from the supply chain. The mover, the people who would like take the roasted coffee, I'm assuming would be, you know, Rakdos or Gruul. Rakdos, because traditionally they've been, you know, sort of the heavy laborers of Ravnican society. Gruul, because there's a lot of like, you know, trolls and giants, so they'd be able to lift a lot of stuff.
00:23:50
Speaker
I mean, dealing with taxes, taxing and, you know, sort of the, um, financial regulation, obviously would be the, your job. Um, and borrows, like we said, probably target audience. Yeah.
00:24:06
Speaker
The baristas, but I mean, they're the Gilblis. Oh, of course. That's what the honest. Yeah, it's Cranko. And and we got to be fair. Cranko can brew a damn fine cup of coffee. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. I think he incites all those rebellions. I mean, you know, the rebellion will be fueled by coffee and it will not be televised because they still haven't developed that.
00:24:36
Speaker
That's our show!
Episode Conclusion and Credits
00:24:37
Speaker
You can find the podcast at Goblin Lore Pod on Twitter, or email any questions, comments, or concerns to goblinlorepodcast at gmail.com. If you would like to support your friendly neighborhood gobslugs, you can do so at patreon.com slash goblinlorepod. This episode of Goblin Lore was hosted and co-written by HobbsQ, who you can find on Twitter at HobbsQ.
00:25:04
Speaker
This episode was also co-written and engineered, edited, and produced by Joe Redemann, who you can find on Twitter, at FinDhorn. Our music is by Vintergotten, who you can find at wintergotten.com. That's winter, G-A-T-A-N, dot com. Logo by Steven Raphael on Twitter, at Steven Raffle. Goblin Lore is a production of Hipsters of the Coast, which you can find at hipstersmtg or hipstersofthecoast.com.
00:25:34
Speaker
Thank you all for listening, and remember, goblins like snowflakes are only dangerous in numbers.