Introduction and Setting the Tone
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello, this is Mole Man in the morning. Good Mole Man to you. Welcome to Mole Man in the morning.
00:00:10
Speaker
Shit, i couldn't think of one. Cool. Nailed it. Oh, this is going well. it's been It's been a while. It's been a hot second. It's been a while. I couldn't think of it. I was trying to think of a gambling-related one, and I couldn't really. Hold on. I've got one for the second episode.
00:00:25
Speaker
ah moment. There you go. Okay, cool. Nailed it. Perfect. Nailed it. Nailed it.
00:00:33
Speaker
I am a professional. Me undies sponsor us, baby. Welcome to Mold Man
Podcast Theme Introduction
00:00:39
Speaker
in the Morning. We are a podcast about how The Simpsons has a lot to say about society. I am your host, John.
00:00:45
Speaker
I'm joined, as ever, by my um compulsive gambling co-hosts, Matt. Bing bong, everyone. Bing bong. And Michael.
00:00:58
Speaker
Adley ho, Slaughterinos. That does sound it like you change one letter and that's very insulting.
00:01:09
Speaker
This is how I want to address our audience. We're also joined by a another returning champion. who've got John, who I think was our jet plane expert last time?
Guest Introduction and Main Topic
00:01:24
Speaker
Resident expert of Uganda, resident expert on jet planes, and today, resident expert on the military industrial complex. Hello.
00:01:32
Speaker
Yes. I will actually talk about the military industrial complex in this episode. So that's why I brought it up. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. No, look forward to it. Should be good.
00:01:44
Speaker
We are getting well into season five. We are on episodes 10 and 11 this week. we've got Springfield. Springfield spelled with a dollar symbol instead of an S brackets or how I learned to stop boring and love legalized gambling, which rolls off the tongue.
00:02:01
Speaker
Yeah, real does. I'm going to have to leave that out of the titles for the video. Yeah, that title's not on the Disney Plus one. Yeah, like, because it's stupid. Yeah, it's not a great idea.
00:02:14
Speaker
It's really not. can we say can Can I say, before we go into it, because we've actually had something happen on this day today. me and Blaney were talking about it before... um ah the show started. Rest in peace, bloody Ozzy Osbourne. It's fucking crazy. Oh, yeah.
00:02:31
Speaker
News is happening. Yeah. And me and Blaney also joked that we had more of a conversation about Ozzy Osbourne passing away than we did the Queen. I mean, what did the Queen ever do that was worthwhile?
Humorous Anecdotes and Reaction to Celebrity Deaths
00:02:43
Speaker
When the Queen died, when i heard i was i was out with my dog, and I just texted Matt said, Queen's dead, innit?
00:02:52
Speaker
and I think I just replied, yeah, do you want to play video games? Yeah. We just didn't give a shit. I think that's the correct reaction, really. Yeah, little bit. I was in a web of spoons when the Queen died, and the only reason I looked up to look at the screen is because an elderly gentleman behind me went, no!
00:03:10
Speaker
what a sad little man. So, patriarchy still exists here in the UK. I can't remember where I was when I found out. Probably scrolling Twitter, to be honest. I found out that Michael Jackson died before ah lot of people in the UK because it was reported earlier in.
00:03:29
Speaker
Yeah, I did it. That was why. Because it was reported earlier in America than it was in the UK. So, and I was talking to an American friend at the time and they messaged me saying Michael Jackson's died. it was like, bullshit. And they're like, no, seriously. So I went downstairs and told my parents that they went bullshit. And then 10 seconds later on the news, It came up breaking news. Michael Jackson's dead. I was like, ha ha ha, I knew this.
00:03:53
Speaker
My brother broke the news to me by going, guess what? He did a moonwalk of Michael Jackson. and Michael Jackson. Then he fell on the floor and did Victor Death. Oh, okay. What an elaborate way to let you know that a singer has died. Him and his brother just to communicate through interpretive dance. That's how they... know, like twins make their own language when they spend too much time together. This is their secret language.
00:04:16
Speaker
Conversations with them take ages. We've both been drinking. That didn't help. Ah. I am certain we had this conversation on the Michael Jackson episode, but also, like, i at some point i kind of feel like this is is actually probably the third time on this podcast we've talked about the the context of Michael Jackson's death.
00:04:37
Speaker
Um, I think we've talked about Michael Jackson a lot on the show. I don't think i don't think I've ever told any any of you three the story about um me finding out he died. Yeah, that sounded familiar. Our viewers would like to scroll back for past catalogue of episodes to find. Yeah, let us know in the comments. so Yeah,
Discussion on The Simpsons Episodes
00:04:54
Speaker
So Simpsons. Anyway, yeah, Springfield, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalised Gambling, and Home of the Vigilante is going to be our second episode today. I was an idiot and couldn't tell beforehand if it was Home of the Vigilant or Home of the Vigilante because I can't read. I never learned how. No.
00:05:09
Speaker
It's a tragedy. It's Vigilante. So reading my notes is really difficult, guys. I know i to write. I know how to write. i just don't know to read. like Trump that way.
00:05:21
Speaker
And you cant now you can't enter America. and Oh, shit. Yeah, I should. I actually do need to go to America. They're going to start charging everybody $250 just to get into the country. So... Oh, you're fucking joking. Even less tourism.
00:05:37
Speaker
No, no, that's the thing they want to do. fucking hell. They want a tourism tax. And somehow that's the least worst thing that could potentially happen. I mean, it's probably, but also it's not great if you do want to visit America for reasons. I'm be there for two fucking months!
00:05:53
Speaker
Oh well. Sorry. Bad news. so Sorry you had to learn like this. there Yeah, well, you know, I also learned Ozzy Osbourne died from Reddit, so... Anyway, maybe we can drown our sorrows with some drinks.
00:06:06
Speaker
Yes, indeed. What are we drinking today, today guys? I went with a classic, one of my favorites. I got an Asahi. Ooh, that's a good beer. Cool. Solid.
00:06:17
Speaker
Mm-hmm. So they sold it in the local Tescarino. Picked it up. Mostly because i I looked at, like, some of the stuff I'd never tried before because I was trying to try something new on the show every time. Then I just think, sometimes you just think, do you know what?
00:06:29
Speaker
I want my beer. Yeah, nothing good. Your beer. Well, might be your choice. He owns Cher's Masai. Yeah, I actually own the whole plant.
00:06:43
Speaker
And yet you won't sponsor us. I'm actually rich. Incredibly rich. They're one of the biggest breweries in the world. Damn. What is our guest drinking? I am drinking. i am brewing.
00:06:54
Speaker
Yeah, very good. Yeah. Good stuff. Michael? I am drinking Thatcher's Blood Orange Cider, because I know it'll annoy Matt. Why would you put orange in... I mean, I don't like cider to begin with. It's piss water.
00:07:08
Speaker
But putting any fruit near, boot like, ales or... Anything that's not wine shouldn't really have fruit in it. That's a very strong opinion.
00:07:19
Speaker
Cider's made from fruit. Cider is literally fruit. Yeah, and cider shouldn't exist. It's piss water.
00:07:27
Speaker
I think cider's fine, but like if you are wanting to wind people up, like the bullshit sweetened, flavoured bullshit cider is a good way to wind me up. Cop law like Copperberg? you should you Copperberg's grim.
00:07:38
Speaker
Fuck off Copperberg. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. agreeing with you, you bellend. I wasn't telling you to fuck off. I was telling Copperberg to fuck off. I can really taste the orange.
00:07:50
Speaker
but What are you drinking, John?
00:07:54
Speaker
I'm going to bring the tone down further with my banoffee pudding stout from Salt Lake. Fuck off! What is wrong with you? There we go, that's why I bought it. That's fucking disgusting. Just buy banoffee pie and a beer, you freak.
00:08:12
Speaker
How's it taste? It's very sweet. It cannot taste good. It cannot. It tastes artificial as fuck. You deserve that.
00:08:25
Speaker
Shall we move us on to what happened on this day? Yeah, what was this day? i forget what this day was, I looked it up. We're in December, right? it's December 16th, 1993. I'm alive! Hey, last Simpsons of the year.
00:08:39
Speaker
um So, headline, Shannon Doherty was fired from Beverly Hills, 90210. Tragic. Ripped to that particular acting job.
00:08:50
Speaker
Yeah, Devona performed an acoustic set in New York City. which are pretty short Which I'm pretty sure happened on the last podcast. over We talked about that last time. I think they played it last week and it was broadcast this week. Ah, that makes sense. I think it's probably what this is, yeah.
00:09:06
Speaker
And the world's shortest woman was born. Was what? Was born, sorry. Yeah, the world's shortest woman was born. I shouldn't laugh, but just when a sentence starts with, um, the world's shortest woman, it's very amusing to me.
00:09:25
Speaker
Yep, Jyoti Amgave of India. 31 years old. ah Happy 31st birthday, even though it's not December the 16th. Yeah, that means I'm ah couple months older than the world's shortest woman.
00:09:38
Speaker
Apparently so. So, our US number one is Again by Janet Jackson. And our UK number one is Babe by Take That. Ugh.
00:09:49
Speaker
Not a Take That fan? No. i'm so I'm sorry, all of the middle-aged women out there. I think Take That's a kind of shit. He light my fire.
00:10:00
Speaker
Not doing anything you? No, it doesn't. It doesn't light my fire. I'm not sure I know either of these songs off the top of my head. I'll probably recognise them you play them. You do. You will have heard a take that song. You are British. You will have heard a take that song. will have heard take that song, but if you say, oh, babe, I'm like, no, I don't know. that one doesn't ring a bell for me at all.
00:10:19
Speaker
Yeah, it's a bit over my head. I don't remember off the top of mine. Anyway, chalkboard gag. right Already forgotten it. Well, shame on you because it's a cracker this week.
00:10:30
Speaker
It kind of ties into the opening as well. like It's slightly thematic. Yes, it's, ah I will not say Springfield, just to get applause. Mm-hmm. I suppose that is. Yeah, that does, yeah. It has a whole opening. It's kind of a name of the world. It's going, Springfield, over and over again.
00:10:49
Speaker
oh yeah, because of the, like... The oldie-timey movie. The oldie-timey movie, yes. Yeah. I attention. Before the oldie time movie, we've got a couch gag. Yep, and the family are running to each other and shatter.
00:11:03
Speaker
I liked this. I liked both the chalkboard gags, the couch gags this week. I liked them both. Both of these couch gags this week were both part of that one time they decided to do three couch gags.
00:11:15
Speaker
When did that happen? Right, okay. Yeah, I remember this, yeah. Take one, it's take two, take three, and yeah, just to fill runtime, because they had a short episode. Yeah, I'm better than nobody for two were. Uh, well the other one is whatever's in the next episode, which is Explosion. The explosion. Ah, yes, yes, you are right, yes.
00:11:34
Speaker
Second one was presumably frantically checking it out. They become a blob. Ah, yes. As all families should eventually strive.
00:11:44
Speaker
So I imagine we'll see that next time. yes, we might get that in a couple of weeks.
00:11:51
Speaker
Let's so get on to the episode and we start with the aforementioned newsreel. A classy old-timey, like 1950s sort of deal where we get the introduction of the News on Parade Corporation presents news on Parade Corporation News.
00:12:07
Speaker
It was the amount of pauses, man. this was They like lengthened this episode specifically for this bit and it's like, okay. Yeah, I mean, I did note during the title long episode incoming because it was, you went straight from chalkboard to couch gag. was like, there's no in between. I think we should probably say that the first two minutes of this episode have absolutely nothing to do with the plot, really.
00:12:30
Speaker
No, it does. Absolutely does. kind of did, like, to be fair. This is absolutely the inciting incident. Yeah, like, this episode, like, kind of just gets into it. gets going, but pretty quick. Like, the next one's actually even more so. But, like, yeah, it doesn't really mess about too much, of this one.
00:12:46
Speaker
ah I'll get to the bit that... Okay, we'll we'll get there. So the newsreel begins and we get to bringing you the world of current events. So we see an atomic bomb go into the background and the soldier's teeth fall out and he falls over. God, this was grim.
00:13:01
Speaker
they were doing Did anyone else find this episode kind of really depressing because of the undertones? I was just like, fuck me, this hits home in the modern age. Yeah, it's, yeah, it kind of does, yeah.
00:13:14
Speaker
We also see ah the world of new gadgets, which includes the family being absolutely terrified by the train that they think is going to hit them and move the television. This actually happened in a cinema. I think that's so wild. And we get a cat...
00:13:26
Speaker
I was just going say, it's it's one of those things, again, like you when you look... Technology has advanced so quickly in such a short span of time. But even as someone who like grew up... sure like All four of us did, actually.
00:13:39
Speaker
Of growing up through the transition from you know like cassette tapes to CDs to downloadables. From VHS or Betamax to ah DVDs, Blu-ray...
00:13:52
Speaker
to ah streaming, all that stuff. It's still hard for me to comprehend the idea that you would be so... You would think a project... Like a shitty projection of a train driving towards a camera that you would think it is about to run over the cinema.
00:14:06
Speaker
That's still wild to me that you would believe that. Yeah, i mean, yeah, but... audio' a way of birth throat No, exactly. Yeah. New technology is always like scary and surprising. You're always surprised at how much technology can do, but that's still kind of baffling to me.
00:14:24
Speaker
i i don't know why I'm like, you're told, um well Actually, I suppose I don't... Were they told what they were going to see before they went into the projection room? Because imagine, yeah, you go into a room and then one of the walls just lights up with the image of a train coming at you. That would be fucking terrifying.
00:14:42
Speaker
yeah Yeah, especially if you weren't expecting it. Yeah, that's what I'm... um'm I'm very curious. need to like read like read up on that event because I find it fascinating.
00:14:54
Speaker
We also get a cameo from Amos from the Andy and Amos show. Hello, everybody. ah Yep. Yep. but Yep. Assume this is a reference that appeals to people from the 60s. Yep.
00:15:05
Speaker
And we see that Springfield... It was most of Simpsons, really, but... But Springfield is on the grow and we get to see the evidence of this, which are that we have a booming galosh business, a aqua car, and Professor Rubbermouth also hails from Springfield.
00:15:18
Speaker
ah Throughout this entire infomercial or whatever you want, like news broadcast or whatever, it is still unclear if Springfield is a city, a state, or both. Because they keep using it interchangeably throughout this one bit.
Springfield's Economic Downturn and Military History
00:15:36
Speaker
Oh yeah, they say the the state... Well, they say the state's first aquacar factory. But could be the state's first factory is in the city of Springfield. Interestingly enough, because this is where my research kicks in, galoshes are like an overshoe. It's basically a welly that you put over your regular shoes that you're wearing.
00:15:54
Speaker
Because I had no idea what they were. and They were quite popular. They're not much around nowadays, but they were quite popular and no back when. and it' On the the and boat cars, essentially.
00:16:09
Speaker
ah it's been It's been tried so many times. It's been. But it's so difficult to do. But during the, think it was the 70s, there was like an actual yeah cohesive effort to make them a reality.
00:16:26
Speaker
Because people thought, especially in cities, because cities are mostly um built around waterways, but If you could make a floating car, you could alleviate masses amounts of amount to traffic by just having people driving to the river. They tried it in London as well.
00:16:39
Speaker
ah The problem of is and if you seal off the undercarriage to a car completely, you almost certainly kill off the air supply and then the engine can't run. Yeah.
00:16:52
Speaker
So they have massive cooling issues, regardless of like how well do you build the rest of the car. They always have massive cooling issues, which limits their range. No, I'm not surprised it was a big thing in America as well, because like one of the reasons America prospered so quickly is because of the amount of rivers that could take you like nearly across the entire country. Yeah. And the amount freight you carry on them.
00:17:12
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. oh Speaking of freight, we see a dog pulling a wagon that's got a hind pulling for Springfield sign. Even he's doing his part. i do love that old school, like, Springfield now, kind of. I love it. It's great.
00:17:26
Speaker
but The film ends and we see that ah they were in a movie theatre and young Grandpa Simpson and Jasper leave and Grandpa dismissively says you'd think the streets were paid with Golan. Because they are. we then see a man unable to get any traction and immediately crashes.
00:17:42
Speaker
Yeah, is that true? if the If the streets were paved with gold, woods would it be that hard to drive? Oh, that's a good point. the be There'd be no grip. what Well, gold's really soft as well, so it'd probably bend. Not bend as in, like, you know, like, weight, but it would over time get... ah shape The shape of it would change, yeah.
00:18:04
Speaker
I think the principle would be the same as ice, wouldn't it? Yeah, so... yeah Well, I mean, ice, like, you go, it melts and makes water as a layer under pressure, so, like, you would... Like, gold wouldn't, like, have no traction at all, like, it would have some, but obviously, like, not as much as tarmac, so i don't think it would skid like it's on ice. The friction coefficient for ah gold is 0.49, for ice it's
00:18:30
Speaker
and for cement it is 0.8. zero point eight So it would be significantly slippier than cement, but nowhere near enough as ice. So braking would be a problem. Yeah. and like but that This is the hard-hitting research you come from on Man in the Morning. that is for gold on gold friction. So it would change depending Gold on gold.
00:18:54
Speaker
Yeah, so using... Oh, so we have to make the tires out of gold. I I've googled at least gold on gold friction at least once in one of my lonely nights.
00:19:05
Speaker
the But gold is used as a lubricant in certain industrial processes. i Seriously? which one Yeah, seriously. and That's crazy. Let me see if I can find more info on that.
00:19:17
Speaker
Then see that the background fades and we're going to the present day. Well, we're learning if gold is lubricated indeed. And... Just wanted to observe the background detail that they were walking past a vinegar parlour while they're rousing about the state of the world. Which becomes a porno theatre in the present,
00:19:30
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, what were the names of the... I know one of them was I'll Do Anyone. What was the name of the other... was Spermina something. Sperms of Endearment. Sperms of Endearment, yes.
00:19:44
Speaker
Speaking of lubricants, and... umpa passes a bow and If you're using sperm as a lubricant, man, you're doing it wrong. Depends what you're doing.
00:19:55
Speaker
it's a unfair Fair. Fair. You know can't argue with that. um sticking it to my tires to drive on gold. Leave me alone. I don't like this conversation anymore. If you would like me to segue it back into gold as a lubricant.
00:20:08
Speaker
Please do. According to ah a study by Science Direct, ah gold is an additive in certain lubricants because of its... im It's inert, essentially. So you can... ah you can and yeah Yeah, you're not going to cause any engine wear with it, and it's got a decent fiction coefficient, but it's used as an additive, especially in some certain engine oils, rather than being a lubricant by itself. A lubricant itself, yeah.
00:20:36
Speaker
okay That makes sense. We see that ah Grandpa dismisses a hobo that wants his change, and Grandpa complains that everybody everybody wants something for nothing, then goes into the social security at the office and says, I'm old, gimme, gimme, gimme.
00:20:47
Speaker
yeah Yeah, speaking of bits which i feel like are trying to say something about society. Like, my my initial reaction where i was like, shit, is this a John Schwartzwelder episode? That feels like a bit on the nose, but turns out no. Yeah, it's very direct.
00:21:00
Speaker
Back at the power plant, Homer finds a pair of glasses in the toilet and... Elmer doesn't first of all ask for a last chance. He's very polite about it. He checks if anyone's lost their glasses, you know, he get going once, going twice, and then he puts them on his face without washing them.
00:21:15
Speaker
Yep. And this makes Elmer think he's immediately smart as he then begins to break out the fancy mathematical equation of does anyone have a crack at this? Because if I say it, I'll get it wrong. It's Pythagoras.
00:21:29
Speaker
a so A squared plus B squared equals C squared, except he uses the fancy words for it. So the sum of the squares of the two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the sum of the square of the remaining side, but it's not an isosceles, it's a right angle.
00:21:42
Speaker
How quickly did you think did you say it to your screen it's a right angle before the guy in the toilet said it? Oh, I did. I'm not going to answer that question because I will be judged.
00:21:53
Speaker
Well, the man in the toilet is there to act upon all of us and someone is embarrassed and then we just randomly cut to Henry Kissinger was visiting the power plant. Sure, random jump scare Kissinger in Burns' office. Jump scare Kissinger.
00:22:08
Speaker
burns then says we'll keep an eye for your glasses and he thinks he's left them in the car then we go to henry kissinger's mind where he admits that he dropped them in the toilet why didn't retrieve them from the toilet is never sufficiently explained oh explains it there's that that's like he must like nobody not nobody must know that the man who drafted the peace paris peace accords dropped his glasses in the toilet who would have known him picking
00:22:35
Speaker
Oh, they would have known. we're going to get another awkward pause of the two of them just standing in the doorway. And Bench just walks away from him in the end. There's a lot of mmmm noises. Yeah, the Paris Peace... I don't know if anyone else wanted to talk about this.
00:22:48
Speaker
Go for it. Please do. The Paris Peace Accords were the was the document that ended the Vietnam... but ah America's involvement in the Vietnam War. Damn. but I did not know that. Yeah. The actual peace treaty itself only lasted one day before it was broken and America just did not get involved afterwards.
00:23:09
Speaker
ah It called for a bunch of stuff like withdrawing the US, returning of prisoners, clearing mines, you know, all the regular stuff that would go along with them, peace accords, but Almost immediately after it went into effect, which was the 28th of January, 1973, it was almost immediately broken and the war lasted another two years before the North War.
00:23:32
Speaker
I think the deeper subtext here is that, you know, dropping your own glasses in the toilet is an idiot move and would be something only a fool would do. so Largely the Paris Peace Accords were also seen As a fool's endeavour Because everyone knew it wouldn't last Damn that's a clever joke So I think that's the deepest subject He's already feeling like an idiot Because he he won the Nobel Peace Prize for this So the one thing that he Really did Everyone knew wouldn't work And he feels like an idiot and he can't let that happen again With his glasses Very clever That's just my interpretation it might be completely different
00:24:12
Speaker
ah Everyone's entitled to their interpretation and theories are good. We like hearing theories. Speaking of theories, Spirits has a theory that ah the economy's hitting them pretty bad and Burns isn't too worried about it because he survived 12 recessions, 8 panics and 5 years of McKinley Onyx.
00:24:28
Speaker
Okay, note on that one. I had to look this up. I was like, McKinley, like well they they're doing something about what the fuck is McKinleynomics? And McKinleynomics was President of the United States from 1897 1901. Wait. No, a fantastic man.
00:24:41
Speaker
but wait so this is's definitely a fratic bird
00:24:47
Speaker
that it's This is just another Burns is extremely old. sadly so so i think he's even older than we've ever seen him before at this point. Because that would mean he's over a hundred years old at that point. Smirr has encouraged Burns to fire some employees and Burns stops randomly firing employees and sees Homer in his glasses goes, let's keep the egghead, he might come in handy.
00:25:09
Speaker
Again, this hit very close to home. A boss just randomly picking people. Fire you, you, you. yeah One of those people was Lenny. Yeah, Lenny got fired. He fired Carl too.
00:25:21
Speaker
Did fire Carl? Oh, I missed Carl. That was just before Homer. Poor Carl. Lenny deserved it. Not Lenny. Oh shit, that totally is. Yeah, no, I didn't pick him on that. Yeah, yeah, it's Carl as well.
00:25:32
Speaker
We go back to the Simpson family home and Lisa's admonishing Homer because he shouldn't be wearing glasses that weren't prescribed for him. We then see from Homer's point of view Lisa and... Just because you're 10 foot tall doesn't mean you can't, you can tell me what to do.
00:25:44
Speaker
Unfortunately, Hover is looking at Bort when he says this, and Lisa snatches him off her face. We cut to the news reporter and Henry Kissinger apparently walked into a wall and is now hospitalised. it Couldn't happen to a better man. Do you know the walk at the average walking speed, um if you walk into a wall, you will break your nose?
00:26:00
Speaker
I'll try not to do that. Yeah, don't do that. Then go to ah Kent Bronfman and Kent Bronfman says that the unemployment office is not as happy as it used to be. Yeah, very.
00:26:12
Speaker
And he then says that joblessness is not just for philosophy majors. Useful people are now feeling the pitch. He then goes to Barney and Barney says he hasn't been able to find a job in six years and Kent asks what his training is and Barney says he's got five years of modern dance and six of tap.
00:26:28
Speaker
I don't think this is true because Barney didn't go to college. He may have went to dance school. think i but one of the flashback episodes, I don't know if it's happened yet, but when they flashback to Homer in college, because hope I think Homer went to college and dropped out, and I think Barney did the same. it depends ah It depends on which episode, because in one episode he didn't go to college at all, and then in yet or later i think later episodes they then essentially retcon it to say that he did go to college. Oh, okay. Fair enough.
00:26:54
Speaker
Because says that there's the bit where he's due he's like with his guidance counselor and he's filling out the form to go to college and he gets distracted by a dog with a ham. Yeah, yeah, because he does actually go to college and runs over to Dean. Well, that's that that's when he yeah that's when he gets goes to college as an adult, not yeah when he was supposed to go to college.
00:27:17
Speaker
We then cut back and Ken Botman explains that the economic slump began when the government closed Fort Springfield, which meant the liquor and the prostitution industries wouldn't belly up. And then Ken Botman's The Duff Rory is still in action. I think they're doing fine on terms of liquor.
00:27:32
Speaker
I think he must mean hard liquor. Yeah. I guess so. Or quality liquor. Interestingly enough, there are like ah like... It's a legit thing that a military base is the centre of economies for certain towns in...
00:27:45
Speaker
and Well, in any country, it happens in the UK as well. But considering the size of the US military, there are, like Fort Bragg, there is like a town and city around Fort Bragg, but Fort Bragg is huge.
00:27:59
Speaker
And most of the city's economy is run either directly through or as a consequence of the soldiers living at Fort Bragg. Although having said soldiers, they might actually be be Marines and someone will be quite angry that I call them soldiers.
00:28:13
Speaker
They're That's fine, I don't know the difference. They do. And it' it' ah it's a touchy subject for them. Well, not a touchy subject, it's just, you know, if you train for certain amount of years to be a thing and the people who you another... Well, they should stop being such fucking snowflakes, then shouldn't they?
00:28:27
Speaker
I am not getting shot over this, so I... just we
00:28:34
Speaker
We do, in fact, see that the prostitutes are, in fact, trying to hitch a lift to Fort Bragg as well to find to find more work.
Societal and Economic Commentary in The Simpsons
00:28:40
Speaker
And at the risk of being unpopular, Ken Brockman blames us. Oh, it's the viewer. I think right to do it, though. yeah Yeah.
00:28:46
Speaker
you You, the viewer, are the problem. It is our fault. It's nothing to do with the government. So we go to the Springfield Town Hall and Mayor Quinby proposes that his plan to solve the economic crisis is he's going to skip town and run for mayor in a more prosperous town and then he'll send for everybody else.
00:29:02
Speaker
He gets booed, unsurprisingly, for this plan. I like he's just got the suitcase full of money ready to go. Oh, if oh he's... As if he was just like... He's on starter's orders. As if he was he if he was already thinking, oh yeah, they're going to love this plan.
00:29:16
Speaker
I don't think he was waiting for approval. i I think he was just going to go. so Lisa comes up and Quimby recognises as the little chick with the gleam of hope in her eyes. Lisa gives up her piggy bank to help the cause and Quimby's delighted because he can now tip the sky caps.
00:29:30
Speaker
Shut the fuck up, Lisa. Hey, we got 15 bucks out of it. Grandpa Simpson tries to inspire the town by saying all they need is good old-fashioned gumption and some elbow grease.
00:29:41
Speaker
Starts rolling his sleeves and falls asleep. And then, hey, can we start banging on his gamble like he's trying to quill a riot? Grandpa is sleeping, standing up. um But then sees Skinner stand up and he suggests that they legalise gambling.
00:29:54
Speaker
Everyone talks but excitedly about this. It's weird that they had Skinner do that. Yeah, well, who would you have delivered that line? Mr. Burns. Yeah, or Moe. Or Moe? Yeah, Moe would have been a great option. Well, they obviously used Skidder so he could follow use the follow-up gag of, the well, some of the revenue could go to help underfunded public schools and nobody's doing that.
00:30:14
Speaker
Yeah, but then he could have just stood up after Moe suggested gambling. like What can I say? Skidder likes gambling. be Maybe, yeah. I mean, the you know this i mean he did he did go to NAMM, so they did a lot of that over there.
00:30:28
Speaker
Landers asks the Reverend Lundjer what he thinks and Reverend Lundjer says once the government's approved it, it's no longer immoral. The audience starts cheering. Also, question, how can the mayor of a city legalise gambling in a state?
00:30:40
Speaker
Am I misunderstanding something here? They've got a very devolved government in Springfield. Also local ordinances. It might be legal in the state, but local ordinances in the city may not legalize it within city bounds.
00:30:54
Speaker
Okay, right. and so it's So it's like legal in the state of Springfield, but not legal in its not capital city, Springfield. Yeah, but you know it's going to be legal in Shelbyville because those bastards would have that sort of thing. Or Capital City. oh oh There are different rules for Puerto Rico. You've got to accept this.
00:31:10
Speaker
I think Reverend Lovejoy's line there, once something has been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral, is fascinating. And like I've been turning that one over in my mind all day, to be honest. And like eight it just hits really weird because Reverend Lovejoy is ah essentially our...
00:31:27
Speaker
shows mouthpiece for religion and like that's not really the church's approach to things they that's kind of what reverend lovejoy is for it feel it just feels really weird to be doing that especially when like the church has spent so many decades trying to grasp power and arguably has achieved much of that at this point don't know trying to make something out of that line i don't know what to make of it They show visually that Ned is excited about this.
00:31:56
Speaker
They could have had Ned say it. Or just any... I don't know. It's just weird. I don't know. Everyone accepts this without question. And Burns says that he's going to build a casino to tighten his stranglehold on the town. Everyone cheers.
00:32:08
Speaker
Bonnie burps. Everyone cheers. Quibi then asks if there are any objections. And everyone starts grumbling that Marge is going to object. but I liked this. I liked, yeah, just the automatic. Well, Marge is go have a problem with it. Marge is quite psyched about the whole thing, and Quibi then declares he's no longer the fleet his town. He's just going to sit back and go fat off kickbacks, and everyone is delighted, and everybody runs out of the town hall. Flanders leading the charge.
00:32:30
Speaker
Which has got big laugh at me, and Marge says, it's a new beginning, and Homer says, we've done something for the children, and then we just go everybody in the town, drunk at the butcher is going on. The sort of vague implication is that legalizing gambling has caused this, but also, like, this is, immediate. So, like, it can't happen that fast. I thought it was a time jump, but it wasn't. It was...
00:32:51
Speaker
in the same celebration yeah yeah when i cut to the seafront and mayor quimby is quite delighted that burns is going to build this casino here and uh burns has a flashback to his boyhood days on the boardwalk and we see that he's in a bumper car and he drives straight into the legs of a workman who realizes it's mr burns and just tells him to carry on and burns just completely rams into this poor bastard as he's screaming about who's going to look after the little ones Yeah, this just made me sad. We then go to Burns and Burns just laughs maniacally.
00:33:20
Speaker
And this goes for... There's been of odd jabs at the Irish of late and will continue to be... Well, it wasnt it wasn't necessarily the fact that they were Irish that made me uncomfortable. It was just the fact that... I i think I've been very clear. i don't like children.
00:33:34
Speaker
um So whenever a kid is being a little shit in ah media, I just think, just fucking throw them into the ocean. Yeah, but I feel like this is one of about three gags this season so far that I know it's just like, lol, remember when we used to discriminate against the Irish. I think because the Irish-American migration wave that really like...
00:33:59
Speaker
sort of had the same sort of effect as current migration has, like the same thing happened way back when. I think that was during the 1920s. But during the 1960s 70s, when the writers for this program were born and were growing up, I think the aftershocks of it were still there.
00:34:15
Speaker
Sort of like Caribbean immigration in the UK. Most of it happened in the sixty s and 70s. But we we're now growing up with the the kids and grandkids of the people that originally moved over and we're seeing like the effect of what happened and how things went down is now quite everywhere because, you know, that the children are more happy talking about it because they're not, it wasn't directly happening to them. There's there's a degree separation there.
00:34:43
Speaker
I think it's the same thing with Irish Americans for these writers. So ah lot of the a lot of the Irish jokes would be happening because it was quite common for them to have these interactions with Irish American immigrants.
00:34:57
Speaker
just to to It's nice having someone smile on the show. Just to change the tone of the podcast for a second. That's a... This is what guests are for, actually being smart. We like guests. But I... Sorry, off the top of my head, I don't know for a fact that anything I just said is correct. I just remember that the 1920s were the Irish-Americans.
00:35:16
Speaker
It sounds smarter than anything we have to say, so... Yep. We didn't go to Boone's, and Boone's is just laughing at the memory, and we see this goes on for... quite a period of time with him in the shower, bath, in church.
00:35:28
Speaker
Burns finally stops laughing and wonders what he was laughing about. but I did like that he was polite enough to laugh quietly in church. Yeah. Burns stops and then wonders what he was laughing about and realizes it was the crippled Irishman and starts laughing again.
00:35:39
Speaker
And then is cut to see the designers for his casino, which include very nice attack on the British. have Oh, thanks. I hate it. Accurate though.
00:35:51
Speaker
She's from Sussex, but she's got a Cockney accent. that what that's what That's what all the Southerners sound like, right? Clearly. That's watch is what all Americans think Brits sound like. we also We all talk like that, man. It's it's like ah a Northern London accent that existed for like a hundred years, maybe. It doesn't really exist anymore. And everyone in the country either sounds like that or like the quake.
00:36:15
Speaker
Yes, that is that is true. We then see the next design is for Woodstock and the hippie is immediately sent out. We then cut to Captain McAllister and he's just discussing a voyage to go find some spice and silk.
00:36:27
Speaker
He's hired, he's got the best plan. And Burns tells him they're building a casino and McAllister goes, give me minutes. Will you give me five minutes? And then really regret the fact that we didn't get to see what the reworked version of this was like. He just crashes the boat into the beach and then puts a door on it.
00:36:42
Speaker
Yeah, would have gone with it. But Burns decides he's not going to do this because he's going to design it himself and he knows what people like. He's going have sex appeal and a fancy name. We don't see that the fancy name is Mr. Burns Casino and the the symbol is basically the Starbucks thing but with Mr. Burns' face.
00:36:59
Speaker
Yeah, sexy mermaid burns. I imagine Smithers drew that logo.
00:37:06
Speaker
It would. That was shocking. Then I go to the Simpson family dinner and Lisa points out that she's got a pageant at school and she doesn't know what state it was and... Marge suggests Nevada, but that makes Lisa's butt look big, so we're not doing that.
00:37:18
Speaker
And Marge instead suggests Florida and because old people like Lisa. and And she likes orange juice. Almost too busy teaching Maggie how to gamble because he's got a job at Mr. Burns' casino.
00:37:30
Speaker
I just want to point out that look at the shape of Nevada, right? It's basically like a fucked up rhombus. How the fuck would that make your ass look big? but you Would you want to wear a rhombus? Yes. Well, it's i mean I'm guessing that her head would be at the triangle bit, so it would like spread downwards.
00:37:47
Speaker
Then it' be upside down. Who's to say which way is the right way up on a map? is Exactly. We've just got a north-facing bias.
00:37:55
Speaker
that so that genuinely sounded like your next sentence was going to be that going to blame dei for the way maps are shaped not ah ah interestingly enough though people have noticed the southern like drip the way that all the continents seem to drip down the map for some reason yeah it's just a coincidence but it has a name and i can't remember what it's called i'm just gonna see if i can I'm sure there's a conspiracy theory associated with it. I thought Southern than Drip was when you just wore a fucking tracksuit all the time.
00:38:24
Speaker
i oh Continental Drip is the observation that southward-pointing landforms are more numerous prominent than northward-pointing landforms. Weird. It was, yeah, first observation first made in 1973 as a joke.
00:38:39
Speaker
But yeah, it's it's there's there's no reason for it. It's just the way things worked out, but it's it's quite interesting. It's cost the earth is actually a big scoop of ice cream.
00:38:50
Speaker
know So where do the birds come into this? ah Well, we've changed the batteries on them now, so now they're a lot less of a threat. ah They were a threat? I mean, I've been to a fucking seaside. They are, man.
00:39:02
Speaker
Oh, yeah, seagulls. Fucking seagulls. Well, it's a lifelong dream for us to defeat the seagulls. We can't until the Scotsmen change their fucking national bird for fuck's sake.
00:39:15
Speaker
Wait, is their national bird the seagull? It is. That's why you cannot legally kill them. It is an actual crime to kill them. so But they've established that Matt's dream is to kill seagulls and Homer's lifelong dream was And eat them. I would open Kentucky Fried Seagull.
00:39:28
Speaker
What does a seagull taste like? Some of us have tried... BAD! I would imagine. Very sweet, I would imagine. And not in, like, a good way. It'd also be sweet to see Homer's lifelong dream of being being a black... i'm fine I'm trying to get... I've done three segues here, but I can't take that in.
00:39:48
Speaker
Homer's dream is to become a blackjack dealer, but Marge then points out that his lifelong dream was to be a contestant on the gong show, and we get the flashback of Homer and Barney and the giant... It was 1977. Homer and Barney and the giant overalls playing the harmonica while the gong plays repeatedly.
00:40:03
Speaker
It's an actual fucking show! Yes, it is. It was a big thing in the 70s. It has a 6.9 out of 10 on IMDb. Brilliant. Yeah, when I was reading on it, and it it like, the actual performers...
00:40:17
Speaker
weren't there to like impress it wasn't like x factor you went on to make an ass of yourself yeah right essentially what homer is doing here that's how much takes pride in the fact that he got more gongs than the break dancing robot that caught on fire can i ask why the fuck is homer has he taken a different job like he he was the one guy who didn't get fired he got transferred Yeah, like from a logistical standpoint, if you're opening up another department, even if it's completely unrelated, it's probably going to be easier to move concurrent employees over than onboarding new ones. This was not dealt with in any way. No, this Yes, it was. It doesn't make it...
00:40:54
Speaker
but they said he went were yeah he He says he was transferred or something. It still doesn't make sense. He said I got a job at Burns' casino, but like that that's all he got. I'm just making an assumption then. I just assumed that he'd transferred or something.
00:41:08
Speaker
Even if, like, ah logistically they just handled it by shifting over current personnel's capacity. Fuck. Fucking hell, what is happening to me? I sound like a corporate arsehole.
00:41:19
Speaker
Regardless, it wouldn't make any sense to transfer the head of health and safety nuclear plant. No, I was thinking the the safety technician is probably probably doesn't have a lot of transferable skills to blackjack dealer.
Humorous Tangents and Casino Theme
00:41:32
Speaker
Burns isn't a good businessman. He just is one. Also, interestingly enough, on the yeah on the gong show, the woman that played the leading role in Annie for Old Radio School,
00:41:43
Speaker
was scouted from her performance on the gong show excellent that's what i had also seagull meat apparently tastes terrible i'm not surprised they eat garbage it tastes very gamey sort of like fish but like it's spoiled Eugh! Imagine meat tasting spoiled, but is fresh.
00:42:03
Speaker
What does it taste like when it's spoiled? You want to know. It actually just becomes jam. ha Mmm, seagull jam. Anyway, Simpsons.
00:42:15
Speaker
Tell us about the casino. I'm at the casino and we see that Jerry Gooney is the official greeter for the casino. Hello, retired boxer Jerry Gooney. Yep, and he's a bit over-enthusiastic he's greeting of Otto and Otto finally has enough of this and knocks him out.
00:42:33
Speaker
It's funny because he knocked out ah ah heavyweight boxer in Mourn Punch. Yeah, I was thinking, because I looked at, um jerry it's I think it's Jerry Cooney, not... Yeah, Jerry Koenig.
00:42:44
Speaker
I thought this was a joke that he was a heavyweight that got knocked out in one punch at some point in his career, but I couldn't find anything like that. Like, for all intents and purposes, he had a very, very successful career in boxing. Like, he went for the World Heavyweight title twice. He didn't win either one, but he went for it twice.
00:43:04
Speaker
He had an 83% knockout rate. 28 wins, 24 by knockout, only three losses over his entire career. He's only 68, so he's still around.
00:43:15
Speaker
i Yeah, I'm guessing... i thought i mean, I didn't dig into it, like, I just... My surface-reading assumption of it was, lol, punching out a heavyweight boxer. Yeah, I assume the reason it was Jerry... de Jerry Koenig was because the writers had a beef with Jerry Koenig, just like they... because there was a ah joke about a particular baseball team. That was Jerry Koenig, like, he played himself. Yeah, that doesn't mean that the writers didn't have a beef.
00:43:39
Speaker
Yeah, true. I mean, I guess. But like, I mean, in if you're interested in like the finer details, he he was a left-hand southpaw fighter, but he used an orthodox stance to make his jab way more powerful.
00:43:53
Speaker
That helped him early on because he could finish fights quite quickly. But then when he's got further into his career and he couldn't absolutely demolish opponents, it worked against him because he had no experience in longer lasting fights.
00:44:06
Speaker
His left hook was described as the most powerful punch in boxing at the time. You know, he had a really good career. I mean, if you want some behind the scenes stuff about ah the the guests in this episode, apparently were an early draft of the plot revolved around the restaurant Planet Hollywood because Matt Grenning had been told by someone at some point that if they did an episode that had Planet Hollywood in it, the restaurant would get Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone to appear in it.
00:44:36
Speaker
Damn. For unknown reasons, they were unable to appear in the episode and know it's Wikipedia. Well, Arnie, they didn't need Arnie. They already had Rainier Wolfcastle. That's true. My body, you don't feel bullets.
00:44:50
Speaker
On close inspection, these are lawful. Go to the blackjack table and Homer goes bust and everyone at the table is delighted. Goes to 35. 1827 35 bust. Rich Texan gives him his hat which has brought him a good luck ever since... ah day JFK was shot and almost shift ends at that moment and everybody immediately leaves the table. I thought the gag was going to be that then he got the hat and then started playing like was he like did blackjack really well and just kept landing on 21 but no they went with a better joke.
00:45:22
Speaker
That was also the first instance of the Rich Texan. Yeah, they called him Senator here. Yeah, yes. Senator of, who knows, presumably Springfield State. but Then cut to Grandpa at the crab's table and he's ah shaking his dice very vigorously. and This bit went fucking nowhere.
00:45:43
Speaker
Apu is very frustrated and Apu and Abe tells him, I've got arthritis and eventually does drop the dice and one goes into his shoe we just see him stumbling around the He just fucking hobbles off. What's the fucking joke?
00:45:56
Speaker
I hate this Grandpa being old and weird and awkward. I genuinely thought the way it was going to go was that he was doing it deliberately so he could drop the die and then fake, like like put in a fake die or a weird die or something.
00:46:10
Speaker
But no, he just drops it, one gets in his shoe and he hobbles the fuck off. I hated this bit. ah so much of this episode is just, frankly, just just casino japes. Speaking of casino japes, we are cut to Gunther Nurnist, not a parody of Signia and Freud at all, and we see that the tiger is on the ah unicycle, and they're saying, how much she loves show business?
00:46:33
Speaker
And we see a flashback of them catching her in the wild, of waking her up, and then immediately putting her back to sleep. Yeah, I thought that was very strange. Hey, tiger, wake up! Poof! There's no thrill of the hunt if they're asleep. The tiger then immediately attacks them and we just shot them being mauled. Which did happen late in like 2003, I think, wasn't it? I think it happened multiple times.
00:46:57
Speaker
What a shame. Yeah, the writers did weigh on this and they dismissed the novelty of the prediction by saying that it was bound to happen sooner or later. Oh, so it's a Simpsons predicting thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The actual attack on Sigmund and a Roy, Siegfried Roy, um was like a decade after this episode or something.
00:47:18
Speaker
Damn. think it bit his arm off, if I recall correctly. Good.
00:47:23
Speaker
I can't remember which one it was. I think it was Roy. Dickhead. think I think, it yeah, it was Roy. Yeah, yeah. We don't see that Bart is playing... the jackpot himself and he wins and a one of the servers comes up and goes wait are you over 21?
00:47:37
Speaker
then Bart asks if he's over 21 he says I'm not authorized to answer that Bart gets thrown out the casino saying that the martinis suck and the boy starts insulting Bart by saying what's he going to do start his own casino and have all his friends come I'd like to see that because the next scene Bart has opened his own casino and the kid has actually come about it is a tremendous little joke that There's a bit here that I'm going to have to skip over on my note page because ah it's not in this episode.
00:48:07
Speaker
What? That's awkward. Yes. It involves Bond. John will know what I mean. Oh, yeah. there I mean, i there's a note I spotted on Wikipedia that said, like, there's a like a deleted scene in did involve James Bond that they liked enough to keep in one of the clip shows in a later season. So we will eventually see the James Bond bit, but i can't remember what it actually was.
00:48:37
Speaker
But we'll save that for when we come to it in the actual world. Save that for the 138th episode spectacular. You'll get that in about three years, folks. Something like that. What specific spectacular.
00:48:49
Speaker
Yeah, I can't remember if there's any rationale for that. We'll get there, I'm sure. Then cut to Marge visiting Homer in the casino and Homer says, it must be embarrassing for you to be in here after your tantrum. And Marge points out that she was for gambling and Homer says, no, it's strike three because he's got and memory of exactly what happened. And we cut into Homer's memory and Marge is nagging about the casino. and Her colours have been swapped as well. You can't even remember the colour of Marge's hair. We don't see that Homer is this ripped, muscular man. a poor like Homer.
00:49:20
Speaker
Yeah, I know. In his memory, that's what he looks like. It's fantastic. Elmo in his memory also takes a phone call from the President, and Elmo begins recounting what he said to the President, and Marge has walked away.
00:49:31
Speaker
I appreciated that. i I too would eventually just walk away. so As Marge is walking away, she sees a quarter on the floor and wonders if there's a lost and found. Very Marge. Instead, puts into the slot machine and she wins and sees that the rush was a bit too much and as the music tone changes and Marge goes back into the casino.
00:49:50
Speaker
Have you guys ever um played the slots? No. In like an amusement arcade at the seaside. I've played fruit machines in a pub. Does that get Yeah, I suppose so. I've never much never played any kind of slot machine.
00:50:03
Speaker
No, I've never had a temptation. of no You have not lived.
00:50:09
Speaker
I never even bought a lottery ticket. i Yeah, exactly. i try to avoid any kind of gambling because have a very addictive personality. so it's probably for the best He says sipping his alcohol.
00:50:21
Speaker
It's not gambling. Don't ask me about how many gacha games I play. i I had a rant with Al the other day about gacha games. I won't do it on here because obviously time, but yeah, fucking gacha games. We got to Bart's Casino and we see some of the odds, which include ah Mrs. Krippoffel's nervous breakdown at 2-1 and the fat kid being popular at 50-1.
00:50:40
Speaker
Bart gets his own TV show at 1,000-1, yeah. So if you burn money on that one, you probably did alright. Yeah. I think that's a joke because they didn't we talk about this a while ago they were considering a Bart specific show but like canned it very early on because they were like no Simpsons.
00:50:57
Speaker
We then see Bart doing the rounds ah saying hello to everyone and see that tonight is Milhouse and next week's an evening with Jimbo and yeah we then see that Milhouse is doing a magic act with the cats and virtually the act does not go well it just ends with Milhouse being mauled by two cats while everyone caught applauds.
00:51:14
Speaker
but Yeah, everyone seems to like it. It's fine. Way better than what he had planned. Meanwhile, back at the casino, Homer is with the Dustin Hoffman look-like. Tom Cruise is also there. Yeah, probably know what i was supposed to probably the most sensitive portrayal of autism that Simpsons is capable of.
00:51:33
Speaker
Yes. Brain Man begins and we see that he used his autism to do the card counting and he needs to leave the table. Homer won't let him go. This ends with everybody just slapping themselves in the head, screaming, and Yeah, I really hated this.
00:51:48
Speaker
So what was this a reference to then? The movie Rayman.
Critique of The Simpsons' Gags and Characters
00:51:52
Speaker
Yeah, I didn't think of this. Yeah, Rain Man has also since gotten heavy critique for its portrayal of autism.
00:52:01
Speaker
Okay. I don't know what this was, I just knew I did not like that scene. as as As someone who is vaguely familiar with autism, yeah, that is absolutely a thing, but Someone who would react to that in that way would absolutely not be able to cope inside a Casita.
00:52:20
Speaker
There would be way too much stimulation, too much lights, too much noise, too many people talking. They would have reached meltdown point very, very quickly already. To be able to get to that, having that sort of visceral reaction, like that's quite not, I wouldn't say severe, but that's, that's other things would have gotten in the way before that point. It's not something you can just muscle through. It's, it's a disability, but the actual specific thing that happened and Yeah, that does happen, occasionally.
00:52:50
Speaker
like Yeah, but yeah it's the thing of it, and it's not being played to inform people of the difficulties of autism. It's done because, lol, look at the, you know, strange person.
00:53:04
Speaker
Yeah. Look at Homer um but pretending to be Justin Hoffman. Yeah, it is it is played up just for laughs, which nowadays, yeah, that's this disgusting. it's It's like, if this was shown on TV now, it would quite rightly get the shit kicked out of it.
00:53:19
Speaker
I'm forgiving it because of how old it is, because at the time, autism yeah isn't really well known at all. like No, of course, yeah. i'm not i'm not yeah i'm I'm saying it made me uncomfortable now. Yeah, no, that's fair. I'm sure if I'd watched it when I was a teenager, i would have thought it was fucking hilarious.
00:53:33
Speaker
Yeah, it didn't make me uncomfortable. I just didn't understand the reference. yeah so It's a reference to Rain Man. yeah Yeah, I found i've just found it uncomfortable. cause it was just like It just felt like The Simpsons making a gag of somebody having an autistic meltdown. I was like, that's not funny, though. Yeah, I agree.
00:53:52
Speaker
Because I didn't get the reference. We then cut to Mr Burns, who has gone all Howard Hughes on us, and hasn't slept since the casino has been opened. And... and says nothing can stop them until except microscopic germs and he says we won't let that happen and Smiris looks suitably free minutes let's control the government that bit hasn't happened ah just interrupt you said Howard Hughes like you already knew who he was because I went on a fucking dive when I looked into this guy like yeah but so it's an interesting story isn't it it is insane like he's just trying I don't know if you have the other two did you look into it did you know about him
00:54:30
Speaker
I was aware of him because his character um also appears in one of the early James Bond movies. and Well, we a parody of his character appears in an early James Bond movie at any rate. Oh, okay. sorry i'd never I knew of him from that. I'd never heard of him before. The the only way I can put it is he was...
00:54:49
Speaker
The equivalent of Elon Musk of his time without the Nazism. So for the benefit of the audience, who may not know this, Howard Hughes was a very rich man in America in the 80s who, towards the end of his life, engaged in some very interesting behavior, which we'd now consider some pretty serious mental health illness.
00:55:11
Speaker
But at the time, everyone just went, what the hell? Yeah, it wasn't it wasn't the 80s. He was dead by the 80s. It was between fifty s and 60s that he started going off the deep end.
00:55:22
Speaker
he He was an aerospace engineer. he owned some stuff. He got into filmmaking as well. it's He's the reason why I talk about aerospace later on. He had OCD, but he...
00:55:36
Speaker
He also, um he was in a nasty plane crash because he would test his own planes, ah which left him with ah um almost death and in quite a lot of pain.
00:55:47
Speaker
And that mixed with the OCD, towards the end of his life, he became obsessed with germs, he became a shut-in. ah It got really, really, really bad. He did, however, make some films that are... They're not so famous now, but their remakes are. So Hell's Angels, the original, and Scarface, the original, were both films that he made.
00:56:07
Speaker
Damn. Yeah. believe there is a Leonardo DiCaprio a film about his wife part of his life. Yeah, he was hugely influential of the time, basically a household name for being both rich and also very talented in lots of different things. He was, if yeah, if you imagine Elon Musk's reputation like 2012.
00:56:27
Speaker
twenty twelve before yeah this. that you know, hugely successful, very good at lots of different things, fingers in a lot of different pies. You know, that that was Howard Hughes.
00:56:39
Speaker
We cut back to Marge's slot machines and Maggie is spitting a pacifier up into the air and it lands in a patron's coin mug. As Maggie goes after it, she's inadvertently picked up and put onto the table and the gambler says a baby on the table is good luck.
00:56:54
Speaker
immediately gets snake eyes so doesn't win. Maggie ends up on the floor next to the tiger and as Ernest and Gunther, I think, are trying to get to some action for their party.
00:57:06
Speaker
We then see that Maggie starts pulling on the tiger's whiskers and ah Barney, good man than he is, swoops in to save it. And ah Barney then points out to Marge that she needs to keep more care because her son was almost eaten by that pony.
00:57:23
Speaker
Yeah. And Marge says she would never have given herself, immediately puts a pacifier into the baby's mouth. and From her hair. Yeah. Barney finds out got to store it somewhere bike sorry that's compulsive behavior.
00:57:34
Speaker
And then thinks he's going to get a free beer. But he drinks someone's quarters and Barney starts burping out quarters. And everyone gets very excited that Barney is paying out. This guy's paying out. but Just to remember, this joke like made me giggle.
00:57:48
Speaker
Seemly much. Just because of the actual physics of what's going on. swallowing that many coins. No, no, no. The joke is... Like the setup is that from your perspective, it looks like the the drinks are on the tray, right? but Right. so yeah visual So they wouldn't look that way from Barney's perspective.
00:58:10
Speaker
Does that mean yeah that the Simpsons see in two dimensions from our perspective? Right? What is the... mean, the other reading there is that Barney saw the coins, didn't particularly care. He just saw a cup and grabbed it, regardless of whether it was on a serving tray or not I've got to be honest, i miss I read this completely differently. I read it as the first two were drinks, and then the se the third one...
00:58:33
Speaker
Oh yeah, yeah, the first two were definitely drinks. There was a waitress walking around with two two glasses of free beer. But from the camera's perspective, looked like third one. The waitress pulls away with the tray, leaving the one sat on top of a slot machine. But they're the same cup, so to an adult alcoholic,
00:58:50
Speaker
it doesn't matter that they're that they'd be in different places he just saw three cups they and to him they all contained alcohol so you drank one drink two drink i i'm not i'm not poo-pooing your theory i think your theory is very funny i'm just saying that is how i read the scene that he just saw three identical cups because he did also just steal it off the top of someone's slot machine not from the serving tray yeah yeah but again like i said because it was an identical cup he he was just too big again compulsive behavior I didn't realize that the first two were drinks on the thing. So that does make sense that he would just drink the first two, their beer. There's a third.
00:59:27
Speaker
Gimme, gimme. yeah Yeah. But i i I don't know if it's in a Treehouse Boys that has happened yet, but there is that one episode where they go to a 3D dimension. So they know they're in two dimensions.
00:59:39
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. itss Like, canonically, they well, as canonically as Treehouse of Horror is. Treehouse of Horrors are not canon. Well, I believe they are, and I will physically fight you over this. I'll go to Wales in a couple of weeks. I'll mess you up.
00:59:54
Speaker
ah This took a weird turn. so i Will someone follow this with a camera? I think they see the world in two dimensions from the same perspective that we do.
01:00:09
Speaker
Therefore, everyone in the Simpsons universe knows that the Simpsons the main characters. That's why they get away with so much stuff. Because everyone sees it from their perspective.
01:00:21
Speaker
Right. Are you taking a massive rip on a bong right now? It kind of seems like it, I think. I'm fully expecting to just hear some bubbles. Yeah. This is where like half my note page was. I just like got this was like, fuck it, I'm going in.
01:00:42
Speaker
but Please do a video essay on it. Carry on. Well, it's funnier than the next bit. We see that Christy is at an adult's only show and his adult material is just talking about herpes a lot.
01:00:54
Speaker
The audience finally has had enough of this and says he's the worst comedian I've ever seen and Christy says you're the worst audience I've ever seen and Christy says we're just going to sit there and sulk and everyone's going sit in silence. Fine by us!
01:01:05
Speaker
Everyone just sits in silence. Christy's. It's so awkward. He looks so sad. Then cut back to Burns, and Burns is becoming a bit more manical now, and he's worried about the germs.
01:01:18
Speaker
And Spirits goes, what do you mean? And then we cut to Spirits' extreme close-up, and... Freemasons control the government! Burns is horrified by this.
01:01:27
Speaker
Then cut back to Marge's playing the slots, and Homer thinks Marge has waited for him, and Homer tries to leave, and points out he's going to take the car, and Marge says she'll walk, and Homer goes, what, through the bad neighbourhood? And Marge just point-blankly tells him to leave, because he's bad luck.
01:01:40
Speaker
And Homer misinterprets this to thinking that Marge is still sulking that everyone was gambling except us. God, ah the jokes in this episode are so weak. Homer describes that sad as he walks away as Marge continues to gamble.
01:01:53
Speaker
Oh, I like this next gag, though. They come back and Marge is still the gambling slots and Smithers comes up with two bodyguards and says, yeah, this was good, yeah. but do you think you've gambled enough and Marge says no and he goes yeah every 75 hours we've got to ask we're required by law to ask every 75 hours get her another free drink god it's dark but yeah we then to the Simpson house which is a complete mess and uh Lisa says that the family is disintegrating and she's very concerned that the costume hasn't been made yet. like she's having this conversation with Maggie.
01:02:28
Speaker
Well, it tells her to back down because the Liza Minnelli personate we got was actually Liza Minnelli. I'm not quite sure what Liza Minnelli is. I think it's more that she's old at that point.
01:02:42
Speaker
yeah Yeah, I tried to find out who Liza Minnelli was, but i mix like I misheard the episode and I could not find it through any of my Googling.
01:02:53
Speaker
So i had I had no idea who they were talking about the entire time. I mean, don't think she would have been that old. She's 79 now, so she would have been like... 50-something. 50-ish, yeah. Well, back in the 90s, that was ancient.
01:03:05
Speaker
Yeah, there you go. then Lisa then points out that Homer does nothing for breakfast, and Homer says, you've got to improvise as he makes his clove Tom Collins pie. This, I think, is a clip that makes it into some into one of the clip shows later.
01:03:19
Speaker
feel like I've seen this one a lot. Lisa suggests they go to the casino and let Noid know that she's missed. And Homer says, there's no reason to, as he bites into his pie. And Homer goes, let's get more.
01:03:31
Speaker
I forget off the top of my head what goes into Tom Collins, but it's... lemon juice and sugar. yeah Then cut to Homer and the family march for marching up to Marge in the casino and Homer says, you're spending too much time here and I think you have a problem.
01:03:48
Speaker
Marge then points out she's won $60 and Homer says the problem is solved. Problem solved!
01:03:53
Speaker
Then come back to Burns and Burns is proudly showing off the Spruce Moose, the plane that he designed. Then informs which we'll finally get to the Belgian Congo in 17 minutes. Spavor says that's a very nice model and Burns goes model.
01:04:05
Speaker
Oh, I'd like to jump in here. Please dare. Yeah, the Spruce Goose. Or its actual designation, the Hughes H4 Hercules. It was made by the aerospace company that Howard Hughes made.
01:04:18
Speaker
Ah, okay. that's it's Yeah, it's ah it's a seaplane. So it's designed to skim across the surface of the ocean or at low level. It can go higher. They are designed to actually lift off and fly.
01:04:32
Speaker
But when you're that close to the ground, you get thing called ground effect, which is just the... the air running off the wings bouncing off of the ground back into the wings to give you more lift so you don't have to you can you can have a lot more weight uh flying that low because of the the the ground effect and obviously over the ocean where it's mostly flat except for waves but whatever where it's mostly flat i don't think anyone's ever explained the ground effect that concisely to me before and i appreciate it That's fine, it's fine.
01:05:00
Speaker
It was designed originally for World War II, because and until 1943, America's main contribution to to the war was material ah to both the UK and Russia.
01:05:11
Speaker
And they relied on these massive tanker ships called yeah Liberty ships, which were basically IKEA ships. They could be put together in a couple days and they were massive, but they were questionable in quality.
01:05:24
Speaker
the Germans' main strategy for starving out the British was to use U-boats, the submarines, to sink these Liberty ships en route to starve us out. At the time, especially 1941 and 42, they were doing really well at it. Like, the Royal Navy couldn't get a handle on it because submarine warfare was new, they were sinking loads of ships, it was a serious problem.
01:05:44
Speaker
So to solve this, Howard Hughes, who was an aerospace engineer during World War II, suggested the H4 Hercules. It was massive. It was huge. So the Douglas DC-3 was like the earliest passenger plane, the earliest like ah commuter plane.
01:06:02
Speaker
Could seat, you know, 100 or so people. We still use them today. They're decently sized planes. They're quite large. The H4 dwarfs it. it had the Oh yeah, there's there's a comparison on the Wikipedia page for it, and yeah, like that is colossal by comparison. Yeah, it is massive.
01:06:20
Speaker
It was designed... Because obviously U-boats use mostly torpedoes underwater. It was designed to skim across the surface of the water to get away from the U-boats while being able to hold...
01:06:32
Speaker
enough cargo to make it make sense when compared to a liberty ship. ah that It wasn't like a flawless plan. U-boats did have dorsal guns so they could surface and actually have like an artillery piece on the front and they would have been able to take it out but that would you know cost time. It was it was just a big old sea boat.
01:06:49
Speaker
It wasn't finished in time for the for the war. It was It had its one and only flight in 1947. It was never tested for speed or flight sealing or anything like that. It just had the one flight.
01:07:01
Speaker
It still exists. There is a museum dedicated to it in the US. It's ah under this massive dome. It's huge. It's it's it's really cool. I loved reading about this. It was so much fun.
01:07:13
Speaker
Yeah, it's in California now, but it's... it's Yeah, the reason why it's called the Spruce Goose is because of how large it was and the limitations of materials at the time, they had to make it out of wood, especially because aluminium and steel were under embargo, essentially, because they needed it for the war effort.
01:07:30
Speaker
So they had to make it out of wood because it was the only thing strong and light enough to take that load. They did not make it out of spruce, though, no. no They made a birch. But they couldn't publish. They fucking lied to us!
01:07:41
Speaker
it It got the name Spruce Goose Because it's a original name was the Birch Bitch But they couldn't Publicise that So they renamed it to the Spruce Goose Despite not being made out of spruce It is like pen where No it's not the pinnacle of aircraft design It looks kind of goofy And it is kind of goofy But it's so cool It's huge You could have you could have a football match inside this thing It is insane I love it so much Had the largest wingspan of any craft and any aircraft until 2019. Yeah.
01:08:16
Speaker
Oh, so cool. Sorry. ah We can continue. That was my... adult Anyway, Simpsons. Sorry. Well, yes, so this is where i was here. So we're back to the family home and Lisa comes into the room trying out for Marge and...
01:08:31
Speaker
she's Because she's had a bad dream and Homer says, no you just tell me all about it. So Lisa starts going into a bad dream and but the boogeyman was after. Homer immediately panics and declares that Lisa needs to nail the window shut and he's off to get the gun.
01:08:42
Speaker
We then cut to Homer kicking the butt. could sworn this bit happened in a previous episode. It's a very simple moment. I was very surprised to see this. think you're thinking of the ah Cape Fear one where Homer leaps in with the chainsaw.
01:08:56
Speaker
No, i I could have sworn the boogeyman thing had happened before, but I guess not. It's just weird. Homer kicks Bart's door down and goes, Bart, I don't wish to alarm you, but there may be a boogeyman or boogeymen in the house.
01:09:07
Speaker
When you get the extreme cut of Bart screaming. Marge comes home and we see that the several the gun has been fired several times because there's the holes in the door. The house is barricaded and Homer's pointing the shotgun at Marge.
01:09:20
Speaker
And Marge asks what happened and Homer says, just the small matter of the boogeyman. And... Homer throws the gun across the room, it goes off, and Homer says, Marge been here to stop him acting stupid, this wouldn't have happened.
01:09:30
Speaker
Which is fair. Marge vows to stop hanging out in the casino, and Lisa goes, will you make my costume? And Marge promises to. And Homer says, ah, everything's alright. And he trips over the futon, and we get the classic 80s, 90s laughing sitcom.
01:09:47
Speaker
He doesn't say everything's alright, he says just like on TV, and then you get the canned laughter, yeah. We just get the canned laughter sitcom moment. We then get to the next scene and... We get our other guest actor. So Bart is at the airport holding up a sign for Robert Goulet. And Robert Goulet says, hey, you from the casino? Bart says, he's from a casino. and He's from a casino.
01:10:08
Speaker
Yeah, good enough. Good enough. Let's go. So Spiros has to point out that Goulet hasn't actually done the original casino. And Burns says, let's fall out your neighbours.
01:10:19
Speaker
Yeah, I didn't get this because I looked at Jim Neighbors. There's no like, I would have, I thought it was a reference to like a TV show where he was frozen or something for thawing him out. But no, he's he's never, he's never really done and anything like that.
01:10:34
Speaker
Interestingly enough, he is the first person to ever become an honorary Marine. What? Because, yeah, he he played Goma Pyle in, ah what show was it?
01:10:46
Speaker
The Andy Gareth Show. Yeah, who was a extremely moral but quite simple US Marine who appeared in the show, and he was so popular that the u United States Marine Corps made him an honorary Marine.
01:11:00
Speaker
Yeah, that's all I had add for that, yeah. Also, like, I mean, my assumption on the the begin the thawing joke was, like, i I didn't look into him, to be honest, but, like, ah um ah my assumption was, oh, it's an oldie-timey comedian that Burns likes who's dead, but for some reason, because rich guys, I guess, has had him frozen for future potential use.
01:11:21
Speaker
um No, he he he died in... 2017, he was very much alive when this episode was made. That somehow makes it better.
01:11:33
Speaker
Yeah, kind of does. We don't cut to Robert Goulet arriving at the treehouse and Goulet says he's going to call his manager and Nelson says, your manager says to shut up. Robert goes, Vera said that. Vera said that. That's so good. didn't see him struggle to climb up the treehouse ladder.
01:11:47
Speaker
There's a nice little visual gaga. We then see Lisa running to the room in a panic and says that ah the georgic pageant is tonight and Marge has not helped make the costume.
01:11:58
Speaker
Homer points out that Lisa's mom still loves her. It's just that she's a slot jockey now. And Lisa points out the costume is not made and it doesn't look like the state of Florida. She'll be the laughingstock of the whole school. Homer very residely says, it's always something, isn't it?
01:12:11
Speaker
First I drive your mother to the hospital to give birth to you and now this. I mean, Homer's in the right, really. I mean, he's he's done a lot, clearly. I mean, couldn't she have just like pivoted the plan to one of the simpler states to do? Like, Wyoming is completely square. Just go as Wyoming.
01:12:28
Speaker
Couldn't she have just not attended? Instead of being such a whiny piece of shit. but It's later. You know, she's not gonna dump extracurriculars, that's what she looks like. Yep, that's very true. That's very true. More fool me.
01:12:42
Speaker
How a good dad that he is is attempting to make this costume. It does take a divert to try to help fix the car. and But then we see that the costume is made and it's basically two pieces of rubber and an orange tape to it.
01:12:54
Speaker
the Florida spelled wrong on the front. And Lisa declares that she is a monster. And Homer wipes waste here at least is upset because, no, Lisa, the only monster here is the one that's enslaved your mother.
01:13:05
Speaker
I call him Gambler! and elmer says that it's time to save lisa ah save marge we then see homer run into the casino and uh curses the casino and then punches out robert ghoulet's uh car pod cut out and uh he then goes on a streak of uh causing havoc with several games in which uh He ends up making sure everybody wins.
01:13:25
Speaker
He hangs up for someone's phone call for no reason. we just don't see Homer. Can't talk now. We don't see Homer running around all the cameras. And, uh, Bernd says he doesn't want that maniac working in his casino. And, uh, he says we'll transfer him back to the plant and, uh,
01:13:40
Speaker
Burns finally misses the plant and decides to hell with this and goes back to sanity, even though he still wants to hang on to the jaws of urine. And Burns says, we're going to fly to the plant in the spruce moose, tells Smiris to get in, and Smiris tries to point out it's model, and Burns points a gun him.
01:13:56
Speaker
Hop in. And we then see that Homer is still running around, and he finds Marge at the slot machine. He physically picks her up and throws the machine to the floor, then starts speaking in gibberish. Marge tells him to slow down, so he says the gibberish. he says the gibberish again in slow motion.
01:14:10
Speaker
You're gonna further run a error! Marge tells him to think about each word, and then Homer points out that she broke the promise to Lisa. And he gets upset telling the story about how everybody cried, but Maggie laughed.
01:14:21
Speaker
And then she's such a trooper. Homer gets Marge to admit that she has a gambling problem and Marge says, maybe I should get professional help. Homer points out that's too expensive. No, that's so expensive. just have to qui and Just don't do it anymore. do it anymore. We go back the treehouse and Robert Goulet is singing the classic Jingle Bells, but the Batman version.
01:14:37
Speaker
My favorite Christmas card I ever got my dad was a picture of bad ah Batman stood like on the top of a building crying, just saying, I don't smell. It's so good.
01:14:49
Speaker
If one digs back into the archive of Tom Scott's videos, he did a very interesting data-driven dive into the origins of like the variants of Jingle Bells and like traced quite a lot of the origins of it back to this episode but specifically.
01:15:06
Speaker
There are hundreds and hundreds of global variants on things and most of it is like, it just came from this episode. That's crazy. So thanks for that, Robert Gouley. You're welcome. He thanks the audience. Hits Milhouse in the face with the microphone.
01:15:19
Speaker
he does apologize for it. We cut it to the actual geography pageant and Lisa turns out to have won with Ralph because Skinner's the impression they made their own costumes. Ralph points out he's Idaho and Skinner goes, yes, of course you are. I'm Idaho.
01:15:33
Speaker
Of course you are. Let's see Marge and Homer walking out of the casino and Homer points out this is the first time in his marriage he can look down at Marge and... Marge says, will you forgive me? And Homer says, sure. And Homer starts going through all the examples of things that he's done wrong, which included stealing watches from Sears and letting an escaped lunatic into the house cause he was dressed as Santa.
01:15:52
Speaker
And Homer's response to this is, well, you have a gambling problem. Marge then points out, if you've forgiven someone, you can't throw it back in the face. And Homer's quite annoyed about this. Marge kisses him on the cheek and they start walking into the sunset and Erma goes on to another one of everyone and Marge has to cut him off.
01:16:08
Speaker
I forgot already. And that's your episode, folks. Yep. i It was fine. Yeah, I didn't like the ending. I didn't like this episode. it Because there's sort of of a small thematic theme that went through the whole thing is Homer being good luck for people.
01:16:27
Speaker
You know, he gets ah he wins everyone at the card when he's actually working there. And then on his his mad charge to Marge, he interrupts a bunch of people's games and makes them win ah when Marge had called him bad luck.
01:16:41
Speaker
So it's this sort of... Marge thinks he's bad luck when they're together, but he's he's good luck. He's good luck to everyone around him, including Marge. And at the end, they ruin it by him basically mocking her for having a gambling problem. I feel like the episode should have ended 30 seconds sooner.
01:16:59
Speaker
That whole last scene on the pier was unnecessary. Yeah, yeah, I mean, I don't know. I don't what they were doing in this episode. This episode feels like it had a lot of opportunities to say interesting things and kind of blur it, because, like, my initial... my Like, I recalled this episode having more to say about gambling than it realistically did, and my first note on the episode was, I'm fairly sure this had something to say about gambling.
01:17:23
Speaker
And, like, my final note on it somehow this turned out mainly to be a vehicle for casino japes. It was just a lot of unconnected bits that were like amusing in their own right to varying degrees. This episode was beans. Ultimately, i don't know if that's a good thing or not. Is beans a good thing or No, it's bad.
01:17:42
Speaker
but Beans means whatever you want it to mean at the time.
01:17:47
Speaker
i I actually liked the episode. Like, I know it was kind of like, a bit disjointed and it felt like three or four different storylines duct taped together and thrown into an episode and just be like, oh, let's use a casino to tie it all together.
01:18:05
Speaker
I still liked it. I liked, like, I don't know whether it's just because I haven't watched an episode of The Simpsons in a long time, but it wasn't like the best episode, so but I liked it for what it was.
01:18:18
Speaker
It's just the ah just the ending that tripped it up for me. i don't I don't think it was like an explicitly bad episode, but like I had higher hopes for it, I've got to be honest. I go into basically every episode of Simpsons We Watch expecting nothing because 90% of them I haven't seen and I was still disappointed.
01:18:36
Speaker
That's quite strong condemnation. I expect nothing and I'm still let down.
01:18:43
Speaker
I just didn't enjoy it. It wasn't very funny. mean, liked bits of it. Yeah, there's you know but there's moments there's moments to enjoy in every Simpsons episode. It is hard not to enjoy at any moment where Mr Burns is on screen. He is hilarious.
01:18:56
Speaker
I don't know, I just... ah don' I don't mind it. It's not one that I'll remember fondly in the top ten of all my Simpsons episodes. Yeah, exactly. I found it reasonably offensive. This isn't going to end up on anyone's top ten.
01:19:09
Speaker
Or top twenty. So let's give it some outs of homers, shall we? I'm giving it a gambler out of Homer. I call him gambler. Sounds more glamorous than it actually is Okay, John.
01:19:25
Speaker
i'm I'm going to give it a 24 blackjack. It was close, but just went over the mark. Ah, clever. I gave it a Marge's Gabbling problem out of Homer.
01:19:36
Speaker
We will never talk about it again. Fair enough. I gave it a roll of the dice out of Homer. No elaboration, you sleeving it there? Eh, well, I mean, some some rolls good, some rolls are Yeah, makes sense. those well You know, had good bits, had bad bits.
01:19:52
Speaker
I was going to write like what this episode had to say about society, but if it isn't obvious what this episode had had to say about society to any of the viewers, please just find the nearest school bus and get on it.
Economic Tangents and Historical Context
01:20:08
Speaker
Interesting enough, didn't mention it at the time because things were, you know, the conversation was flowing and didn't want to interrupt. mckinley mckinley economics oh yes yes he relied heavily on tariffs i also noted this yeah yeah he was a tariff guy Yeah, but it was like the time tariffs were quite popular everywhere. Globalization wasn't a thing yet. So people hadn't realized that specializing your economy and relying on other economies to fill in the gaps that you'd create through specialization would actually make you better off long term.
01:20:39
Speaker
Obviously, globalization has its own host of issues, but we're not here to talk about that. ah lot of most countries a lot of countries relied on tariffs as protectionism and a form of taxation and they used them strategically to deny resources and access to other countries this mckinley was one of the major components of this so using tariffs as protectionism and also to generate more money however in modern econ economics how much money you have is not nearly as important to your economy as how much money is moving.
01:21:17
Speaker
That's why GDP is just a measure of how much money has changed hands. or And that's what we use for like a lot of economic data, because just how much money kind your country has doesn't really affect all that much, because money doesn't really mean anything.
01:21:31
Speaker
And economists are well aware of this. So your country having... Like the assets of the UK is in the tens and tens of trillions, like ah combining everything that we own.
01:21:43
Speaker
It's massive. But our GDP is only just over three trillion. And that's because that's how much money is changing hands. it's it's It's more important for stuff to move and go to other people and then go to someone else after you've done something with it than it is to have money.
01:22:00
Speaker
Tariffs squeeze how much money moves. But nobody understood this at the time. And it wasn't until ah the 19...
01:22:10
Speaker
30s i want to say hopefully there are no economic nerds in your audience because they will correct me on this and i don't like being corrected but it is a sort of a vaguely modern realization that tariffs are usually bad because it restricts how much money can move around and that slows down your economy and causes recessions But yes, i didn't want to bring that up in the middle of the episode because that's quite... dense.
01:22:36
Speaker
So moving on to the next episode... Homer the Vigilante, which aired on January 6th, 1994. We are into now. Crazy. so I was not alive yet.
01:22:50
Speaker
What a bastard. Something fairly substantial happened. now There is actually a news event this day. yeah Fucking hell, it's been a while. US figure skating champion Nancy Kerrigan is attacked by Tonya Harding's bodyguard at the US Championships in Detroit, Michigan.
01:23:04
Speaker
Oh, damn. So, of course, this is very famous. Oh, the leg-breaking thing. Yes, the attack was live on television, and there has been a movie made about this whole thing.
01:23:14
Speaker
Yeah, Margaret Robbie, it's good. I believe that Tonya Harding is still banned from figure skating. I mean, I don't think she probably wants to at this age. You never know. she just She's still sat at home, just like, I i have a dream.
01:23:30
Speaker
I have a desire. Dreams never die. So, music charts. The US number one is Hero by Mariah Carey. think most people know that one. and Is it the I Need a Hero the Midnight thing?
01:23:44
Speaker
No, that's the When a Hero Comes Along. Oh, then no, I don't know this song. No, i don't know that one. The UK number one is Twist and Shout.
01:23:55
Speaker
I do know that one. Shaka Demas and Jack Raddix and Taxi Gang. Yeah, I couldn't have told you the name of the artist. What a cracking, terrible song. It is objectively terrible, but it's a great song.
01:24:09
Speaker
Right, shall we get into the episode? Oh, go on then. Some title gags, go on. Right, so our Chalkboy gag... I am not authorised to fire substitute teachers.
01:24:21
Speaker
Why would the substitute fire teacher believe that he was? Substitute teachers... like... ah very... pushable around by kids, I think.
01:24:32
Speaker
I guess. The, uh, couch gag family of an intuition around explode. I laughed harder at this intro gag than I did in anything in the previous episode. And you've seen it before.
01:24:44
Speaker
I have, apparently. i didn't i didn't know I had, but i yeah I genuinely did laugh harder at this gag than I did at anything else. in Just a well-timed, stupid explosion. It was great.
01:24:57
Speaker
So the episode begins and it's a peaceful night in Springfield. Everybody's snuggled in bed. Bart's got a TV. All's right with the world. Then the Pink Panther-esque music starts playing and we see a man... It's not Pink Panther-esque, it's just Pink Panther, isn't it? It's literally music from Pink Panther, I believe.
01:25:14
Speaker
I couldn't tell you. I know it's not the Pink Panther theme. isn't it
Main Plot: Burglary in Springfield
01:25:17
Speaker
It's not the theme, but i but I think I did read somewhere that it was literally just music from the Pink Panther. It's heavy jazz, let's go with that. yeah uh the music heard during the burglaries is from the pink panther yeah there you go learned something so we see him sneaking up with his bag of tools then realizes that the key is in the front door so just opens it why is it why is the door how is the door locked but the keys are outside oh that's a good question the door was locked but keys are outside yeah maybe it's like an an auto locking latch
01:25:48
Speaker
Yeah, those are common. yeah Don't underestimate Homer's ability to do stupid stuff. To do something badly. We then see that Santa's little helper is growling and he's fed some sausages to pacify him.
01:26:01
Speaker
Yeah, we all saw where this but this bit was going. The sleepwalking Homer walks into the shot and the intruder gives him some sausages. And Homer's just eating the sausages standing up. i see him into lisa's room and we can hear a noise every time she excite exhales she's got a saxophone filled up with her the man switches the saxophone i thought this was clever this was a cool use of diegesis here because obviously you just think that the sax bit is in the song but it's not it's lisa playing the sax it's clever
01:26:33
Speaker
Yeah, didn't notice that. That's actually that is quite a cool effect. You don't notice it until he reveals that she is playing a saxophone and then it clicks in your brain that that's where the music is coming from. Smart. He sneaks into Bart's room and takes the portable TV and replaces it with a book called Coping of Loss.
01:26:48
Speaker
Oh, I just, I just, when he, he took Lisa's saxophone and then he runs out the room holding it in one hand. No, saxophones, really fucking heavy. Yeah, they're very heavy.
01:27:00
Speaker
Like, you've got to have like a proper neck brace and some people have like hip braces to carry them for hours at a time. But ah my brother had a saxophone. That thing was hench.
01:27:11
Speaker
Like, you're not running around with that in one hand. you You know, you got to be careful with that. Ah, but this is a saxophone for an eight-year-old. Ah, the cat burglar's jacked. Let's go with that. Well, he's also carrying a T- shortly after this, he's carrying a fucking TV along with it, so... like He's not picking the like the easy targets in the household. He takes Marge's necklace off of her while she's wearing it.
01:27:35
Speaker
Each one pops off her neck. Yeah, the noise! It was so uncomfortable. And the dents in her neck. <unk> The intruder sneaks past her, Santis little open, Homer, who are now curled up asleep with each other.
01:27:49
Speaker
Then the morning comes and Bart declares they've been robbed and Lisa declares that she's lost the saxophone and Homer celebrates this. And Bart points out the portable TV's gone and Homer's not happy. Marge points out a necklace is gone and Homer says, eh, that's no loss.
01:28:03
Speaker
And Marge points out it's a priceless family heirloom and Homer says... Well, you've got a whole drawer of them, and then we see Marge's whole drawer family heirlooms. Just pulls one out of a bowl wood. Just wand. Bart then declares that the burglar's taken in his stamp collection and everybody mocks him.
01:28:18
Speaker
Including Marge. like Yeah, Nelson. Nelson calls in to mock him specifically. Yeah, this was weird. That was weird. was random ass bit, man. I mean, I get that it's very, like, un-Bart-like, and that's the gag. But yeah, this felt kind of cruel just mocking a kid for having a hobby, though.
01:28:35
Speaker
weird Even beyond that, it just felt random. Like, they were just like, what it it was just halfway through writing this scene, they were like, Bart had a stamp collection? it's Like, there's no, it just feels completely superfluous to the scene.
01:28:50
Speaker
It's funny, but it just, random. It's the point that Bart's pain is funny, but hers isn't, as the saxophone was her only creative outlet. And Hump Momore immediately tells her to be quiet as Bart points out that the burglar I just want to point out, Lisa expresses herself plenty.
01:29:06
Speaker
Yeah, so it's like her main character trait is being outspoken. in in In my notes, I did attribute the quote, shh, quiet Lisa, to Matt. so We don't see that the burglar is left as a card, which is you've been robbed by the Springfield Cat Burglar, which Marge declares is cute.
01:29:23
Speaker
And Flanders comes in and reveals he's been robbed too, and his Shroud of Turin beach towels are gone. Also love your Homer's shorthand is, talk, robbed, go hell.
01:29:33
Speaker
okay That's fair. Well, it plays out it's a crime wave, and we see that visible skinners storming Norman collective plates have been stolen again. Bonnie wakes up completely naked, and it' there's nothing... I'm sure I had more stuff!
01:29:48
Speaker
ah just Just the Norman Schwarzkopf plates. I don't think they existed. but Probably not. Norman Schwarzkopf Jr. was the American general in charge of Operation Desert Storm.
01:30:02
Speaker
Cool. He served in Vietnam. which is probably where... My Skinner cares. yeah quite Yeah, he was highly decorated. Like, he was he was a very senior officer known for going out and doing things on the front line.
01:30:16
Speaker
He won so many awards for, like, Silver Stars and Purple Hearts for putting himself in danger to help his men. He was extremely well respected before Desert Storm.
01:30:27
Speaker
And I just want to add a quick note. If you ever get a yeah ah spare, I think it's like an hour-long video, watch the operations room video on Desert Storm and the Iraq War.
01:30:38
Speaker
the Because I think he handled the Iraq War as well. Schwarzkopf's the invasion of Iraq for Desert Storm, regardless of like the political considerations and beyond the scope, the actual invasion itself that Schwarzkopf planned is a masterpiece.
01:30:55
Speaker
like The way he completely disintegrates what was the third most powerful military in the world at the time in under three days is incredible he was extremely well respected before this and i think that this episode aired shortly after the gulf war Yeah, the Gulf War was very early so this was a couple years after the Gulf War. 1990. this was after the after the Gulf War.
01:31:23
Speaker
he He had reached like international acclaim for being a skilled general by this point. so Nice. there Yeah, the the I don't think he ever had commemorative plates made after him, but he was like extremely famous for being very good at his job.
01:31:36
Speaker
What you're saying is that if he did, you would buy them? Yes, quite possibly. No, no, no.
01:31:43
Speaker
Anyway, we go to the Simpson house and Lisa asks if the family insured and Marge tells Homer to tell her child what he bought when he went out to buy some insurance. And Homer curses the my show magic beans.
01:31:57
Speaker
Oh, stop blaming the beans. Then see Homer report the robbery and Chief Wiggum says, that's another one. And Wiggum is trying to spot up at them. And he starts moving the dots around and he creates an arrow.
01:32:08
Speaker
And Lou points his pointing to the police station. They all immediately out here. Let's get out of here! We then see that the Springfield Chopper announces that the Burgherese are in the headlines. We also see the headline, Man Marries Woman in Wedding Ceremony.
01:32:24
Speaker
Slow news day. God fucking crazy. Well, if the Walkies have their way, that will be an interesting fucking headline. Sorry, I just wanted to make fun of people. You're right there. Yeah.
01:32:37
Speaker
i just wanted to make fun of people. Kent Brockman is doing his news report and says that mass murders can't be far behind and he asks the professor that he's brought in, so should we panic? he goes, yes, I would, Kent.
01:32:49
Speaker
We then see that Chief Wiggum's holding a press conference as they found a handkerchief on one of the crime scenes and he says, the sniffer dog's goingnna have a sniff on this and they we'll be able to find him. Unfortunately, at that moment, Wiggum is sweating so Wiggum starts wiping himself with the and napkin.
01:33:02
Speaker
Sweating like a pig. As the dog sniffs the napkin and as it's left off the chain, it immediately attacks him and you hear Chief Wiggen going, I got my jugular. Any questions?
01:33:13
Speaker
As he's being mauled. Meanwhile, Professor Frink has come up with a plan. He's created a system where houses will get up onto giant feet and run away. And we see the demonstration of this and the house falling and it immediately bursts into flames and little wooden people fall out and you can do is sheepish, I say.
01:33:29
Speaker
ah Humans won't burn that quickly. At least they won't burn that quickly. Yeah. Humor-real humans wouldn't burn quite so fast. I just... ah yeah He knows they're going to set fire to people, but he thinks they've got a chance.
01:33:44
Speaker
As Bart's walking down the street, we see all the ah security systems go off and Bart is impressed by this and throws a rock and we see a laser get fired. The house next the thanks to the laser... It's the next model of the Ring video doorbell....immediately gets up onto the......and his legs runs away and catches fire.
01:34:01
Speaker
But then we see that ah all the kids are now throwing rocks at the lasers to get that free show and as Otto himself says, all the colours of the bow. One hits Jasper in the face and Jasper says his cataracts are gone.
01:34:14
Speaker
And says he's enjoying all the beauty of nature and gets hit by another one. He goes, oh well, easy come, easy go. Easy come, easy go.
01:34:21
Speaker
We then got to the retirement home and Grandpa is horrified because he thinks someone's going to get him. Turns out it's just his neighbour, Malloy, who wants his ointment. And Grandpa goes, OK, but clean off the applicator. He screams, it's the cat burglar and stick a pin in that one.
01:34:37
Speaker
Ah, I'm fucking stupid. With a character we've never seen before. was Sam Neill. Sam Neill appears. Yay, Sam Neill. Sam Neill.
01:34:50
Speaker
Woo! I fucking love Sam Neill. God, you love love to see. We watched Sam Neill the other day, didn't we, Blenny? We did? We did. We watched Jurassic Park because we're cool. oh Oh, yes.
01:35:02
Speaker
Yes, Sam Neill is Dr. Alan Grant. Okay, I'm with you now. yeah i I didn't know though he played this guy. And more importantly, Malloy. yeah He's also in um ah Event Horizon, which you've also seen now.
01:35:15
Speaker
Yes, I have. I remember him in that. I should note that Sam Neill did describe this episode as being the highlight of his career. At least he's honest.
Homer's Vigilante Adventures
01:35:25
Speaker
We go to the Kwikimart and Apu has got a rifle on the roof and he just says, thank you for coming. I'll see you in hell.
01:35:34
Speaker
So, Apu is not coping well with the situation. No one is! Homer's laying down his new security rules, which include being home before dark and make sure you're not followed. Marge says, don't take candy from strangers, and Homer's response to this is, the only they're only human. Lisa points out why are they bothering these precautions, because she's only lost the thing that's all most important to her.
01:35:54
Speaker
Homer says he's replaced her instrument, and Lisa points out it's a jug. Lisa starts blowing it, and Homer starts ah dancing. He's having a good old time. Lisa stops blowing and Homer scolds her for interrupting a hoedown.
01:36:06
Speaker
Lisa starts to cry and Homer realises how much the saxophone actually meant to her and promises that he's gonna get it back. And Lisa thanks him. Homer then says, music helps him think. Lisa reluctantly starts blowing on the jug again and we see that Homer is- And he's just like stood there with a serious face but still doing the little bob.
01:36:22
Speaker
then see the Springfield Chopper ask if there's anything safe and the answer is no because the paper gets stolen. And we see that Flanders is now having a meeting to form a neighborhood watch.
01:36:35
Speaker
And then asks who should lead it. And someone points it out. And everyone starts chanting Flanders. Flanders says he's got no experience. i Someone else! then everybody else starts chanting someone else. Everyone says I'm someone else. And Lenny's impressed by this.
01:36:48
Speaker
Fascinating decor in what I think is is is Flanders' rumpus room, whatever kind of thing. ah There's a post in the background that says seven days without a drink makes me weak.
01:36:59
Speaker
Yep, I liked that. That was a funny a funny joke. That's a funny joke. I like that. It's good. Homer says, we don't need a thinker. We need a doer who won't think about the consequences, and everyone's with Homer, including Barney, Captain McAllister, Skinner, and Moe, and Apu, and Otto.
01:37:15
Speaker
Grandpa tries to join because he's filled with piss and vinegar. And before he was just filled with vinegar. Over the closer, he's too old. but We get our standard Irish bashing thing as Grandpa says he chased the Irish out.
01:37:28
Speaker
The piss and vinegar line, I will note, has got a surprisingly in-depth analysis on the Simpsons Archive. The only people on the planet to think about these episodes more than us. Oh, i did i didn't I didn't see that because I looked into it and all I could find was it's the earliest citation is in a novel by John Steinbeck who also wrote Graves Wrath.
01:37:48
Speaker
it's also in Grapes of Wrath and they think it originated somewhere in the eighteen hundreds but that's all the information ah I can find on it I think the term existed before but yeah the Simpsons Archive notes that say someone is full of piss vinegar is to say they're full of liveliness some people thought Grandpa was indirectly referring to incontinence with the statement but Tom Collins disagrees to be full of vinegar is to be full of energy if he's now full of piss it's not due to a weak bladder but more likely a swollen prostate that leaves him not unable to deliver when he's standing there trying did expect this to go into swollen prostate What? Yeah, this is what I mean. Like, that these people think about these episodes more than us, and that's saying something.
01:38:24
Speaker
The fuck is wrong? Over- over- analysis has gone on here.
01:38:30
Speaker
Well, it leads up to an Irish batting joke, and Grandpa did not have batting the Irish out because there's in the basement with them. Mama says that old people are now useless, and he starts tickling Grandpa, and Grandpa starts laughing until he points out, this is a form of abuse.
01:38:43
Speaker
Old people are useless. We go to the next scene, and... it's It's also the second episode in a row that you have a crowd behaving, like, completely erratically, it just cheering on whatever. Oh, Simms loves an erratic crowd. They do. They love mob mentality.
01:38:59
Speaker
Speaking of mob mentality, we see the but group loading up guns and Marge thinks it's a bad idea and almost tries to reassure they're responsible adults and we start hearing a series of gunshots go off as everybody fires their guns.
01:39:11
Speaker
Mo Farris has gone twice and Bart has to apologise. Yeah, even including Bart. Mm-hmm. I don't believe that Skinner, a Vietnam vet from the Rangers, would mishandle a gun like this. No.
01:39:22
Speaker
This is very true. This is true. Unless this is the long con and they're setting up for hi their eventual destruction of his character in like... four series time anyway with this but i I'd hate that change in his character anyway I yeah i just refuse to believe that a Vietnam vet would make that sort of mistake especially a combat vet as well like he he used guns in anger he knows how to use a rifle we you know this is not unfamiliar to him he knows how to handle a gun yeah it just didn't make any sense to him I still thought it was hilarious ah but I just remember thinking it like no skinnna Skinner would let him know if that happened
01:39:59
Speaker
But I think at this point they're still going with the baby boy, mama's boy thing more than they are the combat vet. The only time they really do the NAMM stuff is when they're talking about, you know, his bitterness towards the American government rather than his actual capability as a soldier. Yeah, like that makes sense. That's that one episode where beat up that lawyer for the Disneyland trademark.
01:40:23
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I remember that thing. So we cut to Moe's tavern and everyone's practicing their new secret handshake, which is through the legs. Homer starts assigning co-names and uses Q-ball, A-ball, 12-ball, and Moe is also Q-ball.
01:40:38
Speaker
You're an idiot. He's an idiot.
01:40:42
Speaker
We don't see that ah they're in Herman's store and they're all looking over the weapons and Herman asks if they're planning for a wedding and Homer says, nope, they're calling a village auntie group. He takes him outside to show him an A-bomb, because you need those in your groups.
01:40:55
Speaker
Well, a miniature one. And he points out the government built it to drop on beatniks. And Homer has this fantasy of the flying over a group of beatniks. And unfortunately, the A-bomb gets stuck, and Homer decides, and I think this is in a movie, but can't tell you which one. Is this Strangelove? Yeah. It's Doctor Strangelove, yeah. Yeah.
01:41:14
Speaker
Which is like, also, like if we talk about how I learned to stop worrying and love legalised gambling, that's two Strangelove references in two episodes. Yeah, well, there's another Doctor Strangelove reference we missed because someone called me out in the fucking comments about it. Oh, yeah, yeah. um the The professor in the monorail episode is based on Strangelove as well.
01:41:37
Speaker
Basically, we see the famous scene of Homer reenacting, launching the bomb himself and riding it down with his cowboy hat. Yeah, mainly my takeaway from all this is apparently i need to watch Dr. Strangelo. Homer cuts back to the present and Herman scolds him because he's ah he's ignoring the do not ride the bomb sign.
01:41:52
Speaker
And I still apologise. We then see that the group is now suited and booted and ready for action and Homer says it's time to clean up the town. He's going to clarify as what does that mean and Homer says you know push people around make yourself feel big.
01:42:04
Speaker
Homer's in a sidecar with Barney and asks Bart to give him his megaphone and unfortunately this is the Rat Master 2000 and ah even though Homer's shy instructions is a funky rat meat going on and this just leads to a group group of youths dancing behind the door. Hammer!
01:42:18
Speaker
And completely ignoring his head. Sure. They're not going back to their homes or places of business. And we then see the vigilante group coming up to people, including a random man playing the saxophone. And but even though he got it from Sears, Homer decides they're going to beat him up anyway.
01:42:36
Speaker
They interrupt someone burning leaves and say, you need a permit. And he says, I do have a permit. Yeah, too late. on They also come up to Jimbo doing some graffiti and Homer says, you better have a good reason for that. And he says, it makes me feel like a big man.
01:42:49
Speaker
Homer checks his list of rules and apparently that's almost a good reason. Yep. Good reason. And Jimbo is impressed that this is the drunken posse and asks to join. And Homer says, can you swing a sack of doorknobs? And he can. And Homer will provide him with the sack. You have to provide your own doorknobs.
01:43:06
Speaker
Homer starts relaying, at dinner, start laying the story of how this group are getting on, which includes pushing a car onto its roof and Grandma apparently mouthing off. that was that and That line was apparently verbatim, just entirely a reference to something.
01:43:20
Speaker
forget what. So Lisa points out they're abusing their power and says, if you're the police, who will police the police? Homer says, Coast Guard. Yeah, he's just like, oh, Coast Guard?
01:43:32
Speaker
Bama assures Lisa that they're working on getting the saxophone back, but they've expanded to other important areas, particularly literary programs, beloved covered bridges, world domination. Covered bridges are important.
01:43:44
Speaker
And Bama says, oh, that's a typo, but makes a mental note Lisa knows too much. don't see that Homer's on smart line and Ken Brockman says, I do respond to the charge that petty vandalism is down 80%, but sack beatings are up 900%. And says, anyone can come up with a percentage to prove anything.
01:44:01
Speaker
40% of people. 40% people. 40? 40%. forty percent of people poverty coffee
Revelation of the Burglar and Treasure Hunt
01:44:08
Speaker
forty percent As Ken Potman asks, what do you say with the acution that your group are causing more crimes than preventing? And Homer goes, I'd be lying you if I said my men weren't committing crimes. and Just complete silence is so good. Touchรฉ. Touchรฉ.
01:44:22
Speaker
The phone then rings and Ken Potman says, this is our first caller. I mean, ever, because this is not a call-in show. And we then see a blatantly Malloy's voice on the thing going, Homer, my nemesis. And Homer goes, yellow.
01:44:34
Speaker
And he goes, you realise who I am, right? March. And Homer thinks... He then says, no, but I'm holding up girls and he then plays around with them and Homer says, are you monster? You've got my daughter Saxon and then attacks someone off camera.
01:44:48
Speaker
Ken Brockman has to point out it's the stage manager. Nobody goes, oops, sorry, I'm nervous. Why is the stage manager handling the camera? Who's stood next to the camera? He wasn't handling it. homema was Homer was clearly choking the person holding the camera.
01:45:03
Speaker
grabbing He's grabbing someone just out of shot next to the camera. He was he was grabbing someone underneath the camera if he wasn't choking the... cameraman. He's a very short stage manager.
01:45:13
Speaker
Again, 2D perspective that they all see, that no one else, but you know... Everyone sees the same thing. Not allowing this one, no. We're going back to the line. The cat burglar declares that he's going to rob the Springfield Museum of its cubic zirconia.
01:45:28
Speaker
Homer says he vows to go without sleep and guard the museum. Unless the cat burglar wants to taunt him tomorrow by giving him an appropriate time. We'll be right back. I get to say that.
01:45:39
Speaker
They cut to outside the museum and Jasper, Abe and Malloy want to help. and Homer tells them all you can do is set a good example. Just stand around and don't steal anything. Then Homer turns back and sees that they're...
01:45:52
Speaker
robbing the museum. Grandpa says they're on their break. Then we see a Skinner and Homer come up to each other and they start speaking short sentences of any sign of the burglar. How's that? It's his job. How's that? He's a burglar.
01:46:03
Speaker
They didn't just start nodding. It's a fucking naughty. Ba-ba-da-bum. Apparently a dragnet thing. Yeah. Another thing that's been referenced before, another thing that I guess the writers love.
01:46:18
Speaker
We then cut to Homer outside of his binoculars saying the cat burglar love to get past him, but there's no problem. 36 years ago, some lady gave birth to Homer J, then he realizes there's underage kids drinking beer. He then sprints off and the cat burglar just sneaks in behind him, turns the alarm system up at the wall,
01:46:33
Speaker
And steals the Sigourney while Homer is chugging beer. I forget where we last established Homer's age, but, like, it's always depressing to be reminded that I'm older than Homer. Yep. It's good to... Yeah, I was surprised that he was, like, 36.
01:46:46
Speaker
thirty six He's canonically now like 42 or something. I think he is, yeah, 40-ish, something like that, isn't he now? Yeah. We then see the Springfield Chopper headline of the Zirconium's been stolen and Homer was passed out and Homer's upset because his sleep at the switch.
01:47:01
Speaker
He wasn't asleep, he was drunk. But I believe he did. Obviously, he's still got a job too, but as he walks out the door, he's belted with fruit and vegetables, even by Yelp. Even by Barney.
01:47:12
Speaker
Tells him to go home. Jimbo throws the sack down with the door knobs and goes, You let me down. I'm off to law school. Homer does the dramatic, No! And Lisa tries to cheer up by playing the jug and Homer says, Oh, it doesn't work anymore.
01:47:24
Speaker
I didn't say stop. So Lisa takes it up again. We then see that... ah Marge is shocked by how much the town loved the zirconia and Grandpa walks in covered in fruit and he goes, did they pelt you too? And goes, nope, I fell down at the big boy.
01:47:39
Speaker
And Abe says he knows who the cat burglar is and he starts doing his taunting. Well, well, well, you said I was too old. The families start walking away as he's doing this and goes, all right, I'll tell you. Come back, I'll tell you. Then reveals that it's actually Malloy and Grandpa gives his... ah list of evidence which includes him falling over and seeing that Malloy was wearing sneakers.
01:47:58
Speaker
He was named for it on one of my frequent trips to the ground. Yes, that's very real. So we go back to the museum and Malloy says he'll catch up to him and immediately fires a grappling gun in plane and then starts walking up the building vertically. Grandpa then says he can't put his finger on what was different.
01:48:16
Speaker
Then gives the final thing that gives it away that there was a large zirconia on Malloy's coffee table. Malloy, unlike most retired people, has the world's largest cubic zirconia on his coffee table. I i looked into zirconia.
01:48:30
Speaker
Like, zirconium dioxide is crystal form. They say it's the world's largest one, and it's cool, but zirconium is... worthless yeah yeah totally yeah i think that's the joke right yeah it's i i because i thought like it's got to be the world's largest it's going to be worth something like no it's like 10 000 times less valuable than diamond it's like it's basically just cut glass isn't it yeah effectively pretty much i i looked into like i did the maths on how much uh as i can't even that large would be worth because it it it is divided like carrot like gold is and it's like five carats per gram and about thirty dollars per carat and one that large yeah it's gonna be worth like ten grand but for a crystal that large yeah that's nothing nothing yeah like a diamond that large would be worth billions of dollars kind of thing yeah
01:49:30
Speaker
Homer declares he could criss grandpa and grandpa says do it on the forehead. It's the only place that I get feeling now. And Homer kisses him. Grandpa just goes, no, no, no, no. Homer comes outside and declares that he knows where the cat burglar is. And grandpa says to the retirement home.
01:49:43
Speaker
And we see the mob form and they see them admiring the world's largest sconeer. And Mo says, what an eyesore. And Malloy says he's glad that Homer was the one to catch him. And Homer then points out it was actually grandpa.
01:49:56
Speaker
And Grandpa does this somewhat taunting before Mo tells him to shut up again. I've had my moment. we get great some great some great Sam Neill content here. He gets some good lines. So the lawyer declares that now he's going to return everyone's possessions, which includes a lock of MacGyver's hair.
01:50:12
Speaker
And she'll put it back in the wad. I think is what she... Fucking ew. ah Ball, but yeah. Oh, she said ball. I thought she said wad for some reason. yeah And he gives Lisa back a saxophone.
01:50:23
Speaker
Lisa thanks Homer and Malloy says even though he stole their possessions the town has stolen his heart. Everwood is suitably charming so let's let him go. Wiggum arrests him anyway by saying if you break the law you go to jail.
01:50:35
Speaker
At that moment Mayor Quigmy gives him his kickback and Wiggum points out he could have chosen a better time. Simpsons Archive noted that that's not illegal because it's in the town charter.
01:50:47
Speaker
We then go to the jail and Homer is mocking Malloy outside the bars until Malloy points out everyone might want to know where he's hidden his million dollars that he's stolen over the years.
01:50:59
Speaker
And he finally reveals it's under a big T. And we don't see Homer and Wiggum and all the rest of the police. I'm going to go home to sleep. And we get an entire extended Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad world parody. oh I didn't know if it was um Rat Race. I thought it was Rat Race.
01:51:20
Speaker
I thought it was something like that. But yeah, unfamiliar with the genre specifically. so But yeah, it's Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad world. We see everybody scrambling to try to get out of the room and then Homer runs through the town screaming, there's millions of dollars under a big tea.
01:51:33
Speaker
We then cut to all the Springfields looking at all the various teas in the town, which turns out to be quite a few. There's the big tea building. There's the big tea burgers and fries. The tea factory. The tea factory, which has a big teacup on it.
01:51:46
Speaker
The big tea theatre, yeah. Which has iced tea appearing with Bucca tea in concert. Which is amazing. Yeah. We don't go see them go back to the jail and they say they need more information and the line reveals exactly where it is. He has to give directions.
01:52:03
Speaker
We then see the mad race begin and Marge is riding a motorcycle, school bus, the cop car is in play. We then see Kent Brockman also does a a news report saying that everyone is in a mad dash somewhere.
01:52:15
Speaker
He then asks the professor if everyone the viewers should crack each other's head open and feast on the goo inside. He says yes. think they should, Kent. We then see the bot has led some poor bastard into the river. Which I'm pretty sure is a scene in the Mad Men movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Most of this is just like riffing directly on the movie. Like, there's a lot of this really close shots. Is the guy Phil Silvitz? Is that who that was meant to be?
01:52:38
Speaker
I think that rings a bell. Yeah, I think that i think that is your man. Yeah. as ah He goes very manic as he sinks into nothing. Turns out he's all right because he turns it comes back. Yeah, yeah, he's fine.
01:52:51
Speaker
Barney flies through a billboard. And we finally get to the yeah big T, which is a big palm tree. And we see the mad digging as ah everyone's looking very anticipating, licking their lips. Yeah, this is like, this is straight from the movie as well. Like the number of people digging dwindles over time because people get tired.
01:53:08
Speaker
The shots of like, looking up from the hole at the people staring into it like this is all straight from the from the finale of that movie as well otto finally finds something
Episode Review and Ratings
01:53:17
Speaker
and uh william says it's a piece of paper and how many clairs it's in gimme turns out it's a note from malloy and uh it's just uh malloy saying they use the time to escape from the jail oh my god make out the signature quimby tells him let's keep digging we'll find something then cut to a panhand there's a giant hole everyone's now down quimby finally declares they're not find something and Arthur goes, how do we get out of here? Alma says, well, dig our way out.
01:53:39
Speaker
And they start digging and we just... up, stupid! Yeah, but we can tell him he needs to dig up. And that's your lot. And that is Home of the Vigilante. What do we think?
01:53:50
Speaker
It's fun episode. Yeah. It's alright, it fun. It's fun. yeah I like this episode. Yeah, I thought it was cool. It was, it was you know, a nice bit a return to fall.
01:54:02
Speaker
Yeah, it see it's definitely just like a silly one. There's not like a lot going for it. It's not amazingly memorable. It's just one of those nice, fun, bog-standard episodes of Simpsons with a fun guest appearance.
01:54:15
Speaker
Yeah, it's one that they thought was good enough to put on one of the like the VHS collections as well. They had some box that was about crime-themed episodes, I guess. This made it onto that one. Man, we really made products out of everything, didn't we?
01:54:29
Speaker
We sure did. And he scores out of Homer. I gave it an I also loved him in Jurassic Park, Event Horizon, and Possession out of Homer. Sam Neill.
01:54:41
Speaker
Fair enough. I gave it a sack of doorknobs out of Homer. Damn, what the fuck does that mean? A surprisingly effective weapon for a good time.
01:54:52
Speaker
That's fucking genius. John? I gave it a more horizontal than usual out of Homer. Okay. I gave it a mad world out of Homer.
01:55:08
Speaker
All around me are familiar faces after all. Did this say about society? this have anything to say? Yeah. I mean, this one had like, know, it was just a lot of like small jabs and everything, you know, like the police, people's greed, mob mentality. It kind of just took shots all over the place, which we've noticed a lot of Simpsons episodes do that when Simpsons is, and I'm not saying this is peak Simpsons, but when Simpsons is at its peak, it is kind of,
01:55:36
Speaker
just very rapid fire doing a lot of things all at once and doing it well. Sometimes it succeeds at that, sometimes it doesn't. But I feel like a lot of the times when it has like a really clear focus, it's not always as good.
01:55:50
Speaker
You know, like when there's such a like direct, ah this might just be me, because obviously I'm the one that has the audacity to dislike the B sharps. When it has like a specific story it's trying to tell, it's it's never really my favorite episodes.
01:56:04
Speaker
You know, when it is just being bits and being fun and being clever and is well written, which isn't always easy, ah those tend to be my favorite episodes of Simpsons. Yeah, I mean, like, this was, yeah, this this was very, like, focused for Simpsons. like I mean, I don't care for a B-plot much of the time. The B-plot always feels it's just, like, filling time ah because they couldn't make the A-plot last long enough. Like, having one that's just, like, all on the A-plot, don't know.
01:56:31
Speaker
i'm I'm here for it. I like it. Yeah. But yeah, in terms of like themes, like David Merkin, the executive producer, ah very much exactly he said that the bits with Kent Brockman, like crack each other's head open and feast on the goo inside, those bits were very much...
01:56:51
Speaker
without Those bits were very much like a pointed jab at like the negativity and mean-spiritedness of the news. Like, they're always trying to scare somebody and create panic and depression. just something Yeah, the news isn't isn there to report the news, it's there sensationalise and create a panic so that you buy yeah more newspapers.
01:57:09
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, the Homer's line of you can use statistics prove i anything, I think hits home even
Discussion on Crime and Security
01:57:16
Speaker
today. Like, I use that line constantly because people can and do use statistics to prove anything. 40% of all people know that.
01:57:25
Speaker
I am surprised none of us gave it a 40% out of... It was right there. was there. Totally was. oh Definitely some thoughts on fear of crime. like As soon as they we got to the bits with like lasers and bars coming down the houses and running away and bursting into flames, like my immediate thought was like...
01:57:43
Speaker
Yeah, it's just a ring video doorbell, like, we do that now, yeah. That's just what it is. Just everyone's terrified that everybody's gonna rob them now, so everybody just, like, installs home security! That's the thing we have to, like, spend all our money on these days. that Yeah, there's, like, the new AI cameras that...
01:57:58
Speaker
I genuinely was watching um a you like video essay. Well, not really. He just does videos. um But he was sponsored by this new security thing. And basically, then the new security cameras that you would put outside your house have...
01:58:14
Speaker
ai built into them that learns the people that regularly walk by your house and then if someone who doesn't regularly walk by your house walks by or near your house it will then immediately using ai inform one of the security agents to then start watching the security footage that you know that works at their whole their office or whatever um and then decide whether or not to call the police.
01:58:38
Speaker
And that's fucking wild to me. And I'm not saying the world shouldn't be a more secure place. It's just fucking kind of terrifying, man. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's... that's kind of dystopian.
01:58:48
Speaker
little bit. I did get looking a little bit into neighborhood watch groups off the back of this as well, because like, i mean, not that Homer's vigilante group is terribly neighborhood watchy, but like, Flanders does introduce it as, oh, let's form a neighborhood watch group.
01:59:02
Speaker
Turns out, like, general consensus on neighborhood watch groups is they don't really do very much useful. No. Everyone just wants to feel big. It's like the people that join the HOAs in America. They're not doing it because they actually care about the neighborhood. They're doing it because they want the fucking power.
01:59:17
Speaker
Yeah, I've never really understood what neighborhood watch groups did. i'd like a they i have a vague memory from my childhood of my dad joining the local town neighborhood watch. And the only thing I ever recall him being involved in as part of that was...
01:59:29
Speaker
ah very occasionally it would be his turn to stay up all night with somebody and note down the number plate of every car that came through the town in case a crime happened to happen that night and they would have a record of who came through the town.
01:59:45
Speaker
i mean that's more than some neighborhood watchers do. Yeah, yeah. I don't know how long he stuck with that. That sounds like a thankless chore.
Promotion and Farewell
01:59:54
Speaker
But yeah, that's Home of the Vigilante.
01:59:56
Speaker
Shall we do some adverts? John, have you got anything you would like to promote to our viewers? His penis. oh No. ah That's only for him! You can't have it!
02:00:10
Speaker
I do not have the lawyers to make something like that. um Oh, I didn't i i forgot we do this.
02:00:20
Speaker
Oh shit, right. just i'm go gonna pick something in my room. and
02:00:29
Speaker
Bonsai trees. It's like a big tree, but little. Fuck yeah, buy a bonsai tree. You heard it here first, folks. Bonsai trees. Hitting the world like a wave of leaves.
02:00:44
Speaker
Matt, whatcha got? I started streaming again today. ah So I'll be streaming again now that I've moved. I'm currently going through Divinity Original Sin 2 on the Divinity Unleashed mod. It's really cool. It's a complete, like, overhaul of a lot of the mechanics. It's really interesting. And I just love Divinity Original Sin 2. So I'm going be streaming that. And then I'm going to be looking at other, like, ah tactics games to replay. Obviously, I know there's, like, the new remake of Tactics Ogre and Final Fantasy Tactics. I'll probably look into those.
02:01:12
Speaker
I don't know. But yeah, streaming again. i have a video in the works now that I know how to work my mic properly. properly a little proper lay I don't know how talk, but I know how work a mic. ah Yeah, so I've got a new video coming, so that's going fun.
02:01:25
Speaker
ah Yeah, twitch.tv slash MrGablin. M-R-G-A-B-L-I-N. I'm also on Blue Sky, but I'm not going to tell you what that is because, you know I don't actually post much. I use it just to follow artists because I'm boring. Oh, I also retweet. I also repost um every time.
02:01:42
Speaker
John releases a podcast and I just repost it saying podcast because I'm hilarious. If you want an incredibly bare bones podcast feed, yeah, follow Matt on podcast.
02:01:56
Speaker
Michael. You can follow me on Blue Sky at Budemash Ross. ah i will I always promise that I'll put more stuff on there, but I never get around to it. I don't feel obligated to do the old social media treadmill just for the sake of having something to say at the end of an episode. Go have a live. do interesting things. Promote cool shit.
02:02:16
Speaker
Not thank posting. Thank you. I appreciate that. I will live my life. On the other hand, if you do want somebody who's into posting, you can follow me. A lot of political stuff coming out ah but out of John right now. There's a lot of there's a lot of politics happening right now.
02:02:34
Speaker
Yeah. I made a silly joke at John's expense. It was funny to me. Sure. Sure. The Green Party should be focusing on painting people green. I agree. It should, yeah.
02:02:46
Speaker
That's where they're going wrong. That's where it's where they're losing voters. They're not promising to paint people green. Mm-hmm. Follow me on Blue Sky at Maroka. Follow me on YouTube where I haven't posted a video in probably at least a year, maybe more now. I don't know. It's been a while. That's Button Mash on the old YouTubes.
02:03:06
Speaker
Follow... follow this damn podcast if you haven't yet. Why haven't you followed the podcast yet? You're supposed to have followed it by now. Look, on YouTube, there's this button which says subscribe. You hit that. If you're on Spotify, you hit the button that says follow, and then it all appears in your feed, and you never miss an episode, and you should do that.
02:03:23
Speaker
You also give this episode a thumbs up and or five stars, depending on your platform. And yeah, if you're watching the video version and want audio, we have an audio version. If you're listening to the audio version and want a video version, we are on YouTube as well. Just cross-pollinating there.
02:03:39
Speaker
We're not disappointed in you, we just hate you. It's just several people's medical insurance depends on the success of this podcast, and you are slowly killing a few of us. Yep, not the old guilt trip.
02:03:52
Speaker
I will continue to be eternal. He has always been. i was old when the world was young. I should be worshipped. For God's sake, going back to this.
02:04:04
Speaker
Yeah, we're going to need you to cough, buddy. God descending from the heavens to her grace the humans with their presence. and they decided And I've decided to spend my time well.
02:04:17
Speaker
Streaming and podcasting. Hell yeah. right. Bye, everyone. Bye. Bye, everybody. I should be watching.