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S5E22 & S6E1 - Secrets of a Successful Marriage & Bart of Darkness
80 Plays17 days ago
Jon, Michael and Matt watch The Simpsons episodes 'Secrets of a Successful Marriage' & 'Bart of Darkness', and discuss what they say about society.
Follow us on the Socials:
Jon: @Meroka.bsky.social
Matt: @mattperspective.bsky.social
Michael: @buttonmashhorse.bsky.social
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Transcript
Introduction & Seduction Banter
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello, this is Mole Man in the morning. Good Mole Man to you. Hello and welcome to Mole Man in the morning. Good Mole Man to you.
00:00:11
Speaker
Ooh, that was sexual... Mole man's giving seduction lessons. That's how you have a successful marriage is by being sexy all the time. Take it from someone who just had a failed year relationship on how to have a successful man starting this off on the same the same vibe as this episode. I feel like I've started ah my conversation for today. So hello.
00:00:37
Speaker
Hello. ah Welcome to More Men in the Morning, a podcast about how Matt's got an eight-year failed marriage. For reference, I'm not actually dev divorced. I'm just separate.
00:00:51
Speaker
We have a podcast
Relationships & The Simpsons
00:00:52
Speaker
about how The Simpsons has a lot to say about society and sometimes things about relationships, because today's episode will be one about relationships, but we're going to get into that in just a short while.
00:01:02
Speaker
First, I need to introduce us. I am your host, John, and I'm joined as ever by my co-host, Matt. I genuinely forgot what I said would be my catchphrase, so I'm just going to say hello. You are going to quote something from an episode. Oh, fuck off. That's too much. Say someone's dissing you, fly girl. Give them one of these.
00:01:21
Speaker
Yeah, there you go. That's the one. That's your catchphrase. And Michael. Hardly hope on Castorinos. There you go. Michael's got it. Michael's michael's the genius.
00:01:31
Speaker
I said it in episode one and I've not stopped saying it since. That is true. Yeah, you got that on lock. We've basically only had like, what, two episodes where it hasn't been said? And those were the episodes he wasn't in.
00:01:43
Speaker
That's what i mean, yeah. And then there's there's one episode there's one episode where it was said by me, and that's it. So it's like, what, that's 90? That'd be like, ah depending on how many episodes, that's what, like 98%?
00:01:56
Speaker
a lot Pretty good. I'm not good at maths. so Anyway, we are here to look at the end of season five. We've made it all the way to the end, guys. Season five was in 22.
00:02:08
Speaker
Was this a transition episode then?
Simpsons Season Transition
00:02:10
Speaker
What? As in was the first episode, the end of season five and the first episode of season six. Did you not realize? I forgot.
00:02:18
Speaker
Yes, we will be doing the the last episode in season five and the first episode in season six today. Yes, that is what we're doing. Congratulations on realizing this fact. No, I remember you telling me, but again, like jogging like completely melts your brain.
00:02:32
Speaker
Don't jog, guy. Or at the very least, if you have the option of having a McDonald's and and then jogging, just go jogging. Don't do both. No, I think I know what your problem is. You went jogging with the Men in Black memory wipe thing and kept flashing it in your face out of like just i'd like a fidget toy.
00:02:51
Speaker
yeah i Yeah, I needed something to do while I was jogging. So it was just like, i need to forget the pain I'm in. that was That was just from eating the McDonald's. you I mean, yeah, Blaney wanted to get McDonald's. Like it was the McDonald's sponsorship.
00:03:04
Speaker
Yeah, Blaney to get McDonald's. I do not want McDonald's by choice. I would not want McDonald's money. Thank you very much. No, me neither. Somewhere there's a sad clown in the corner and his MeUndies.
Drinks & Sponsorship Jokes
00:03:16
Speaker
um Wait, McDonald's got sponsored by MeUndies before us? Oh, I am annoyed now. Surely that's going on somewhere.
00:03:26
Speaker
Right, but before we talk about any secrets of any successful marriages, we need to talk about the secrets of successful drinking. What are we drinking, folks? I went into town and actually bought, like, actually looked for a booze this time, so I went with Lucky Saint.
00:03:42
Speaker
Ooh. I know the name. I'm not sure what it is. Unfiltered Lager. It is extremely low percentage, lucky me. It is 0.5. I didn't even notice. I'm going to have sensible and sane match today.
00:03:55
Speaker
Oh, that's really nice though. Oh yeah. Yeah, that's really nice. It's almost like... It doesn't count if you drink 60 of them. It's almost kind like... It's not creamy, but it's almost got that kind of... It just goes down really easy. Probably because of the lack of alcohol.
00:04:13
Speaker
yeah Yeah, I mean, for to to Michael's point, I did see an article once where somebody attempted to drink ah like 12 or maybe more non-alcoholic beers or low-alcohol beers, like 0.5% to see if they could get drunk off it. And they just felt really sick from drinking too much liquid before they got even close to drunk. Oh, yeah, but because that's... so What about four five liters in all? little Yeah.
00:04:38
Speaker
And i I will state, ah as someone who works in the drinks industry and knows all the secrets of things, some 0.5% alcohol beers genuinely have more alcohol, have less alcohol in them than some soft drinks.
00:04:52
Speaker
Like, soft drinks can have a surprising amount of alcohol without disclosing it. Just fun fact on that one. That's fucking bizarre. i thought someone It sounds ah sounds outlandish, but somebody told me upper limit on a soft drink is 1.2% alcohol, in which like, I don't know about that, but... That seems illegal.
00:05:08
Speaker
that one the type Is that why the guy from the Tizer ads always looked so hyped? Maybe. what i love God, I was not allowed Tizer as a kid because of E numbers, and when I got to have it, I went fucking insane.
00:05:22
Speaker
Also, Lucky Saint has a as has a ladybird. That's its logo, and I love ladybirds. Oh, cute. Adorable. Ladybirds cannibals. What? Oh, less adorable. I didn't know this about ladybirds.
00:05:37
Speaker
If there's not enough aphids, late ladybirds will find the nearest ladybird nest and eat the children. Oh my god. but Those spiders do the same thing. i do um I imagine a lot of animals do.
00:05:48
Speaker
Nature is horrifying. Nature is rad.
00:05:53
Speaker
Michael, what are you drinking? I'm on the Old Faithful of Beaver Town Neck Oil. Noice. I also have a vocation, brewery, life and death. Just in case this podcast gets a bit too heavy.
00:06:04
Speaker
Also noice. Yeah, I feel like we should have, we should have, we should try and like for certain episodes to plan our booze because successful marriage, we should have all been drinking whiskey or some shit.
Whiskey Stereotypes
00:06:17
Speaker
You know, something that like some all only grandad's drink. I should have gotten, oh, what's it called? Grouse.
00:06:25
Speaker
I should have gotten grouse. Also, I take objection to only granddads drink whiskey. Thank you very much. Only granddads drink whiskey regularly. Again, I take objection. You don't come home from a long day. i'm just going to stop buriey digging myself in a fucking hole here. Again, I take objection.
00:06:48
Speaker
like Sometimes you want an alcoholic drink and you don't want to drink a beer. No, whisper what I would never just drink a glass of whiskey, man. Holy fuck.
00:07:01
Speaker
and This is why you're uncouth. This is why I'm uncouth. I'm not cool, guys. You're really not. What drinking, Jon? I've got something only the cool kids would drink. It is Siren Brewery's Paloma Goze Grapefruit and Lime Sour. For fuck's sake, man.
00:07:20
Speaker
what is wrong theres o There is a long going on in that title. Oh, now there's a bear. oof You did not sound like you enjoyed that. I like how you're the one taking... Yeah, it's it sometimes feels like you're the one taking the punishment for the Lackavani episode.
00:07:36
Speaker
Well, I'm down to, like, after this I'm down to only one silly beer in my fridge. Like, there's a a point in the probably near future where, given that I'm buying a house, I probably don't have a lot of disposable income for a few months, I might not be able to stock up on stupid shit, so... That is, yeah, that's pretty reasonable. Once that's gone, I might on normal drinks.
00:07:57
Speaker
Is this the start of the John Carling era? i' I'm not going to sink that ladder. Let's be real here. If you would like to help John continue his alcoholism while still owning a house, please feel free to share this podcast with your friends so that we could become popular enough to warrant having a Patreon.
00:08:14
Speaker
So that we can be sponsored by whiskey. Oh, fucking hell. I mean, it would make sense. Out of everything, it would make sense for us to be sponsored by like a beer of the month club. I just meant whiskey generally as a whole, as an industry. Just the concept of whiskey. Not a whiskey, just whiskey. Just whiskey. this All whiskey manufacturers come together and be like, right, there's these lads in England, right?
00:08:35
Speaker
Scotch Whiskey Association sponsored the pod. We will sit in our MeUndies and drink that drink from the bottle just for you. i would I would genuinely love a pair of MeUndies that said nature is rad.
00:08:48
Speaker
I'd wear that. There you go. MeUndies, get on it. Got so many good ideas here.
00:08:57
Speaker
Sure, we go on to discussing the episode. Let's over our sequence of a successful marriage. Let us wrap up season five of The Simpsons with an episode that aired on May 19th, 1994. Exciting times.
00:09:10
Speaker
What happened on this day? Well, a lot of um unfortunate things. I was going to ask, but before you say this, is one of these unfortunate things why the chalkboard gag is what it is? I won't say what it is, but...
00:09:24
Speaker
Is there a reason? don't think Okay, because I was curious if this chalkboard gag was relevant to something. Possibly is, or it might just be a social commentary. I'm not 100% sure, but yeah I'll go through this and you can tell me.
00:09:37
Speaker
So, headlines. American tennis star Jennifer Capriardi checks into a druggery hub center. Oh, poor lass. That came out way sarkier than it was meant to Addiction is a bad thing, guys. like you know I do feel sorry for them.
00:09:53
Speaker
She's had a couple of stumbles, but I believe she's still with us. Oh, good lass. Egyptian actor Omar Sharif suffers a mild heart attack. Fucking hell. He recovered and only died in 2015, so he gets another 20 years or so after this.
00:10:07
Speaker
Oh, good on him. Good for him. The final episode of American TV drama LA Law after an eight-year run. Wow. I think I've watched an episode of LA Law for like, because i was it was just on in the middle of the night kind of thing. Yeah, it's one of those things that if saw it on YouTube, I'd know what is, but i don't know what it is off the top of my head.
00:10:28
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. In slightly more serious news, Jackie Kennedy died, but... That feels like that should have been up top, but I guess they put all the deaths, the actual actual deaths, at the bottom of this page. They have shoved it right at the bottom of the page for some reason. That felt like it should be more headliner, but yeah. former first lady died of cancer. me So, the UK number one.
00:10:48
Speaker
You will not get this in a million years. I wouldn't have. i Unfortunately, i spoiled myself earlier by looking it up, and I wish I hadn't, because like i I wish I'd recorded my reaction to learning this. Okay, this is exciting now.
00:11:03
Speaker
Come on, you Reds, by the Manchester United Football Club. Oh, for fuck's sake. I have no memory of this whatsoever. Fuck Manchester. but not the city, the football teams.
00:11:14
Speaker
ah it's no It's no fog on the tine, I'll tell you that much. I'm sorry, how did a football club put out a song that was popular enough to make it to number one? like This is not the first or last time it happens.
00:11:27
Speaker
Well, seeing as this is in May, I'm assuming Manchester United must have probably been in the FA Cup final. And sometimes football clubs thought this was a good idea to have a novelty single.
00:11:38
Speaker
Football's Coming Home was number one at one point. Like theyre okay yeah support there are multiple songs. yeah Yeah, but that that like unites a nation when you're trying to get onto national charts, a song that unites a nation makes sense. But like a song for one club specifically yeah seems like ah a challenge, which is but really quite impressive what it is.
00:11:56
Speaker
Well, it's because, you know, Manchester started doing well and then loads of fair weather fans turned up because some footballers, football supporters only support the winners like sad little babies. I'm a born and raised Leeds fan, so I will die for the white, blue and yellow.
00:12:11
Speaker
At some point in my childhood, I got into Man United. i don't, this probably predates this. I don't know if i was into football at seven, but at some point I was one of those childhood fair weather fans of Man Ew.
00:12:22
Speaker
Ew. I don't actually give a shit about football. I just like... I no longer give a shit about football, but, you know. yeah I still like football. Who do you support? I didn't know you liked football. Who do you support?
00:12:35
Speaker
Oh, nice. Yeah, good on you. This is a Yorkshire podcast. Absolutely. You'll be sad to learn that Manchester United's appeal did not transfer over to the US charts. What a shame. What a shame.
00:12:49
Speaker
US number one is, I swear by all for one. Haven't we had an all-for-one song on the charts before? may have done. I don't remember. It doesn't ring any bells to me.
00:13:00
Speaker
m i don't even know who they are. I've not got a clue. I swear by the stars and the moon. That may be wrong. Nope. I like that. Still don't know That drop. But good effort. there's The stars and the moon. It's beautiful.
00:13:19
Speaker
It's beautiful. Very Barry White. Yeah, just all those lady snakes. We're 14 minutes in. yeah We are 14 minutes in, yeah. let's Let's get into some actual episode here. Well, Matt referenced it earlier. The blackboard gag for this episode is five days is not too long to wait for a gun.
00:13:35
Speaker
Yeah, i that's why that seems very politically charged. what mean? So I thought... I feel like maybe it it is too politically charged for Simpsons to be making like an over... Like if there had been a gun death, like a pretty... like That's what I was thinking was like someone had been shot that was quite notable.
00:13:58
Speaker
There is a backstory to this, I think. um Wikipedia links it to the Brady Handgun Violence Prevention Act, which brought in the five day waiting period in November 1993. So not long before this episode came out. So it's probably in reference to that.
00:14:15
Speaker
But it's not in reference to a death, so it's still- Not specifically, no. Yeah, I feel like that's in line with Simpsons. I feel like them weighing in on someone's death would be- I i don't see Simpsons doing it, but, you know. Season 38 chalkboard gag, ah Charlie Kirk deserved to die.
00:14:34
Speaker
oh fuck me no maybe who knows i don't know now i'm getting oh i was a gas maybe that was our i was that was me that was that was a joke i'm making jokes didn't actually do this i guess so that's is that just on the front of your me undies oh yeah that was a me undies design Never mind, now they've ruined everything. Yeah, let's sort move swiftly on before the lawsuits begin. and It is the couch gag of the family running into each other and exploding.
00:15:04
Speaker
Pretty certain we've had that one before. We have, that was take three of the clapboard one. Yep, it is funny. I love shit like that. Very funny, apparently.
00:15:14
Speaker
i fucking love Way too tickled by that. I don't think heard of my life like this. He definitely wasn't doing this on the last podcast. I love i love slapstick, man. was fucking great.
00:15:26
Speaker
The episode begins with a poker night taking place, and Mo calls, and everyone else sir goop comes out, including Bonnie, who literally falls off his chair. This is a very dramatically lit scene. You don't normally see that many like shadows, I guess, in The Simpsons. Yeah. It's a poker. It's lighting it.
00:15:44
Speaker
It's poker. It's serious business. They're playing for quarter. Apparently. Mo asks Homer if he wants any more cards and we see that Homer is choking on one of his poker chips Don't eat one of these supposedly supposed chips or whatever you say So-called chips, yeah So-called, thank you So Homer takes three cards and every time he gets one he goes, dough, dough, dough, I mean, woohoo.
00:16:07
Speaker
Mo goes all in and Homer declares he was bluffing. But as Mo is about to celebrate his win, he realizes that Homer actually has a straight flush. And anymore he does this every time. Oh, this I really like this, this got me a lot. It's great. does Every time. And then we see that mode Mo declares he's choking on his own rage, which is a great line.
00:16:25
Speaker
I have often choked on my own rage, man. I feel like I've done it on this podcast. Yes, you have definitely it this podcast. So, Carl says that they shouldn't yell at Homer just because he's a little slow, and then we do have an inner monologue of Homer's brain where his brain realizes that something was said and it wasn't good. This is fucking classic, man. So, Homer's brain first thinks it's don't yell at Homer, but Homer's brain works out that, oh, that's not but the problem.
00:16:49
Speaker
Then Homer finally works out that was that they called him slow. Homer stands up to give everybody a day, but... It's night time. Everybody's left. And when he's walking into his fridge in the middle of the night, in his nightcap, going, hey, Homer, you're still here? Boy, you are slow.
00:17:02
Speaker
We go back into Homer's brain and he goes, something's said not Get the hell out of here. And then he literally kicks Homer out of his house. Nice place Lenny has for a divorced guy, you know, that seems to have just as many money problems as Homer.
00:17:17
Speaker
Just spoiler alert, Lenny does eventually live not so well. mean He wasn't divorced that long ago. It hasn't properly gone through yet. Last time
Homer's Intelligence Debate
00:17:26
Speaker
we saw his marriage situation, he was still married, I think, right? Yes, yes.
00:17:32
Speaker
Yeah, so yeah the the alimony hasn't had to be paid out yet. Lenny's actually smart and makes use of his $88,000 a year. Well, Lenny's not a nuclear safety technician. We don't know what Lenny's on. Ah, this is true. This is true. he probably gets paid slightly less than Homer, but he's also less of a Homer. He still works in a nuclear plant. It's probably on pretty good money. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:17:52
Speaker
We go to the family breakfast table and Homer recounts to his family that everybody said that he was slow. He's laughing outrageously as he does it and then he questions why the family themselves are not laughing. We don't see everybody look away. Mark goes, Buh.
00:18:04
Speaker
Lisa goes, Slur. Buh. Slur. It's so fucking weird. And then Maggie joins in. Magic goes, hmm. I know the joke is that homers are slow, so they have to do it slowly to, like, emphasize this, but these these jokes take a long time to play out. It feels padded to some extent. like This episode's hella padded.
00:18:22
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. So, Marge says that that she doesn't think he's slow, but it's not like he's going to museums or anything. And Homer goes on to a rant about how this is the TV network's fault because the TV is just too brilliant, so he can't get 30 minutes to and i get virtue news to himself.
00:18:38
Speaker
He loses complete control by the end, and he's banging his head off the table going, they won't let me live. So, yeah, Pally TV is that good, folks. Also, Homer has gone to museums with Marge.
00:18:49
Speaker
They went to an art museum. They did, at once. They took Lisa to a museum, too. Yeah. Twice. And they went to that, ah yeah, when the elephantevate the elephant escaped, they went to the tar pit. It's kind a museum. I don't think, yeah, i don't think that was like a like educational trip. Chasing an elephant you kind of trip. He there, though. He was there. it has to count. He was there. He saw the exhibit. It was closed. It was night. Yeah, but he saw the exhibit. He also ran over one of the exhibits. From under the tar. A doe.
00:19:20
Speaker
So how am I going to say, no one wanted to join in with my silly bit. Oh. A deer. female deer. Thank you. Fucking all that took to do it.
00:19:32
Speaker
That was like pulling teeth. I didn't know you were going to make multiple runs at it, I'm going to be honest. I didn't. Michael then did it. Oh, okay. Sorry. I tried to i tried to save Grace because I'd ruined his bit and I felt bad.
00:19:49
Speaker
Yeah, you choke on your 1.5% beer and rage. I will, I will. So, Homer is in bed and he's lamenting the fact that he is slow and Marge says, there's something that can make him feel better and Homer's response to is, take a bath in Mollick.
00:20:04
Speaker
How expensive would that be? How expensive would that be? Mollick is quite cheap, isn't it? There's kind of a point of it, it's like cheap booze. Oh, is that, I didn't know that. it's like It's like beer that's like not even good enough to be called beer, I think, is gonna wear that one for you. I feel like it's still more ah significantly more expensive than a regular bath.
00:20:23
Speaker
It's a pretty spenny bath, but Homer's got cash. And also, like, probably really bad for your skin, right? I would imagine so. And very unpleasant on all orifices, Orify.
00:20:37
Speaker
I cannot imagine it's a sensation that is worth repeating. but do you want to Do you want to give it a go and feed back to the group? That can be my ah one of my forfeits for missing an Annie deadline. You kind of don't really get malt liquor over here, though. It's not really a thing we have in this country.
00:20:55
Speaker
Just pour some Bell's whiskey into a bath. That'll do it. Fuck it. That would be expensive. Moving swiftly on. I'm just looking up trying to find out what malt liquor entails. It says it's above 5% is what it normally is. so okay It's not whiskey strengths.
00:21:10
Speaker
Smudge suggests that Homer could take an adult education course and Homer says how is education supposed to make him smart? Yeah. It's true. He also complains that learning something new pushes something out of his brain, like the time he took the home winemaking course and forgot to drive. And Marksen points out it was actually because he was drunk.
00:21:28
Speaker
And how. how. And how. And how goes to the adult education center and we get to see his classes. I loved the sign that said, we take the dolt out of adult education.
00:21:39
Speaker
Jesus, yeah. Which would then just be a education. It wouldn't be. like i don't I understood the bit, but then I overthought the bit. You know i mean? It's what we do around her.
00:21:50
Speaker
Just a little bit. and We see that Selma passes a number of classrooms, which includes Patty and Selma's How to Seduce a Man. yep do One of the key ways is to wear tight, revealing clothing. We don't get to see Selma in said tight, revealing clothing. It's the hairy-ass legs, man.
00:22:07
Speaker
It's just, that like, there's nothing... Like, look, um it's... Ladies of the world, if you want to have hairy legs, that's fine. But that i I would then say that... Like, leg-revealing clothing probably doesn't suit you after that point. I don't think anyone would, like, even dudes don't really, like, display their hairy legs as, like, a sign of being sexy.
00:22:27
Speaker
Yeah, it's more, in my case, where my legs are a bit too warm. Yeah, my legs are just hairy. I don't then go, look how hairy my legs are. Well, maybe the ladies want to display their hairy legs because they're too warm and don't want to show off their hairy legs. with Double standards here, guys. Absolutely, yeah. Maybe maybe maybe some women want to do but do some, what is it, mask presenting, I think, is it? or is it Yeah. Yeah. I want to show how many.
00:22:52
Speaker
It's all good. It's all good. After being put in my place there by John, I'd like to also point out, much like Pathy did, there are no refunds of listening to this podcast. Yep, you've already wasted your time. And how? We don't get to see Moe's self-defense. Oh, fuck it. This is one of my all-time favorite Simpsons bits, man. Every single time.
00:23:12
Speaker
Harbour gets to Moe's bit and it's his gangster rapper self-defence course. Moe sets the scene by saying he's the 4-1-1 and if some gangster is dissing your fly girl, you just give him one of these. Moe then begins to aggressively break dance and at the end of it he does a backflip and then pulls out a shotgun. Fires a shotgun into the ceiling.
00:23:33
Speaker
Again, it's it's the it's the things that Simpsons is like truly great at. It's the subversion of expectations in very mundane scenarios. It's so funny. Then see that Lenny is also teaching a class, which is the chewing tobacco class.
00:23:47
Speaker
Yeah, ew. There's a lot of people in here that I would have thought should have known how to chew tobacco already, but okay. Yeah, Groundskeeper Willie especially. yeah, yeah, definitely. to see a couple of efforts, including Grandpa Simpson's teeth falling out.
00:24:01
Speaker
Yeah. And Homer is surprised by the whole thing and says he's he admires the way that everyone is looking at Lenny in admiration and we just cut through everybody with... Dribbling tobacco.
00:24:14
Speaker
This prompts Homer to declare if he can teach a class, then he can teach a class. Yeah, they're looking at him in admiration cause they're all off their fucking tits. tobacco But then Homer corrects himself and goes, I can teach a class.
00:24:25
Speaker
We then cut to the administrator's office and Homer's asked what his area of expertise is and Homer's area of expertise is he can tell the difference between butter and I can't believe it's not butter. The administrator was not having this. No, you can't. I liked how aggressive the teacher was. He was just like, no, you can't. No one can.
00:24:44
Speaker
Also, shouldn't Homer's area of expertise be independent presidential candidates? is that Yes, or Supreme Court justices. are super my My apologies. He's into both of those. He has a very weirdly specific political knowledge.
00:24:57
Speaker
Oh, yeaht yeah. So he he'd have to pick one of the one of the other. Oh, his class could be useless political knowledge. Well, not useless, though, is it? It's just history. It's just niche. Yeah, it's just a very specific niche aspect of history is um independent police presidential candidates and Supreme Court justices.
00:25:17
Speaker
Hobble events this, and he's about to get up and go back to his wife and kids, and the admin goes, oh, you're married? And Homer goes, well, it depends. Is there another way to get this job? Homer's like, Homer giving bedroom eyes is always really So he's suddenly turned down. He says, they're actually looking for someone to teach a successful marriage course.
00:25:37
Speaker
And Homer says he'll do it anything to get out of the house of all the nagging and noise. Of a loving family. Then these little shah-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. shan and and told That was so strange.
00:25:49
Speaker
We come back to the kitchen and Homer is showing off his new jacket that he's made by sewing patches on to the album. Again, this fucking slay. He's got tweed patches sewn onto a leather jacket.
00:26:02
Speaker
This is a very Homer dense episode and it's very good for it. There's just an endless Homer bits and Homer's always great. Marge points out his different way around and he's just ruined a perfectly good jacket. Au contraire! Two good jackets!
00:26:16
Speaker
Wait, does he wear the green jacket? It'd be great if they just retire the green jacket from here on out. he just doesn't Or it just had holes in the back. yeah Like he just kept wearing it. He was just like, well, it's still good.
00:26:28
Speaker
I think he does wear it again, actually. Oh, he definitely wears the green jacket, like, later in The Simpsons. It's just, I imagine it will just be repaired, obviously. so Lisa asks Homer how he's going to be teaching, if he's going to be going from a standardized text or interactive participation.
00:26:43
Speaker
The most Socratic method. Homer just looks at her and goes, yes, daddy's a teacher. Do you know, i i i i I'm not smart enough to argue with Lisa at this point, which does, I admit, is very much a self-roast.
00:26:57
Speaker
ah But calling it the so Socratic method to to be more interactive. Socratic is about self-reflection. At least... Oh, no, I'm thinking of solipsism. Never mind. I'm fucking stupid.
00:27:10
Speaker
Yeah, Socratic method is just like asking questions, isn't it? Right, yeah. Okay. cause i was Yeah, I was thinking of the so like solipsism, which is all by introspection and you are the only person that exists to you and blah, blah, blah. So I was like, what the what the fuck does that have to do with teaching?
00:27:26
Speaker
We then see Homer go and ring Flanders' doorbell and when Flanders greets him, Homer goes, you can't talk now, he's offered to teach the class. This was good, yeah. I like this. You rang my doorbell. Homer then goes to the Krusty Burger drive-thru and as he's asked for his order, he says, nope, nothing for me, I've got a class to teach.
00:27:42
Speaker
He's then pointed out it's a felony to tease the order box. That's incredible. I love that line. It's a felony to tease the order box, which is like, that's a high level of punishment for it, for such a petty crime, and it's extremely specific. I love that.
00:27:56
Speaker
We then see Homer go through a red light and then tell everyone, hey, it's all right, I'm a teacher. They've fucking got me as well. Which promises Hoover to go, I didn't know we could do that. And she just keeps acting.
00:28:06
Speaker
Fucking, she just fucking accepts it. She's just like, yep, I'm a teacher. We go to the classroom and Homer's taking everybody's ears out with the chalkboard on the chalk.
00:28:17
Speaker
And the Homer has says the first thing he's got to do is tell everyone, make sure everyone's in the right class. Someone then spits tobacco on him and he goes, nope, down the hole on the hall. And then we just hear the farm crawl. So i was looking at the...
00:28:28
Speaker
his writing to see what he spelt wrong and because of the way the first shot is shown i thought it said what is it a guy to a successful a guy to a successful maria and he just stopped writing ah but no it is successful marriage i think it's just that successful is spelt wrong No, I think that's correct. She's actually got it like there. I don't think there's anything going on there. just dust the nalu That's such an easy bit, though, to just have it all spelt wrong.
00:28:55
Speaker
They love a chalkboard gag, and they didn't include one. Bullshit. think i don't think i've ever I've ever heard of such a thing. They have more important things to do, which includes... The intern was out, that's why they didn't think Vicks, the intern was out.
00:29:07
Speaker
The guy that they get to fucking, they you know, that they release from the basement to to a write the chalkboard gags. I mean, to be fair, I did mildly appreciate that Homer took the time to write Homer Simpson, teacher, exclamation mark, underlined. Just to really emphasize, yeah, no, I am a teacher.
00:29:24
Speaker
Continuing with the bit of like, hey, look at me, respect me, the teacher. Mm-hmm. So, Hamlet says, let's get started, and then we get about a good minute and a half of, um... This
Marriage Class Struggles
00:29:36
Speaker
was some fucking Oh, this was some padding. Oh, wow. Padding or what? Fuck this. it only ends when Skinner says, why don't we tell us about our problems with relationships? And Hamlet's response yep, that'll ease up some time.
00:29:50
Speaker
Yeah, i'm I'm just looking at the timestamps on it and like it's about 25 seconds of him going, uh, Jesus. Yeah, that's, that's bit much. they They cut the intro for this. Yeah, you gotta get that 25 seconds of a gap.
00:30:09
Speaker
So Hammer asks Otto first what his issues are, and Otto says his standards are too high because he feels no one's good enough for him. And a fucking nit comes out of his hair. You think you got them all, but then you forget the eggs.
00:30:20
Speaker
Then go to Lionel Hutz, and Lionel Hutz says that ah he's a user women, and he moves in the right way and stays until the money's gone. At which point Mrs. Kropopo then says she's a smart one, but she makes bad mistakes, and then Lionel Hutz whispers in her ear, and Kropopo hands over the house keys and the ATM card.
00:30:34
Speaker
Not only that, a spare set of house keys that she just has. she reached she needs to get away yeah She makes these bad decisions regularly. And fast.
00:30:46
Speaker
Spivers begins to reveal that he actually was married once, but he didn't know how to keep it together. We then go into a very bizarre black and white flashback of Spivers' former wife used to be a Southern belle.
00:30:57
Speaker
I'm assuming this must be blackout. It's from movie shot. It must be from a movie because there is no way that they just animate Smithers having a broken leg.
00:31:08
Speaker
On a crutch, yeah. ah You know, having a crutch. It must be a movie. It's not, it's actually, it's theater. It's a mishmash of two Tennessee Williams plays. It's Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and Streetcar Named Desire. This is the bit that makes me wish I'd like asked Josh to come back for this one, because like, there's a bunch to unpack about this one scene that I'm not convinced I'm particularly smart enough to analyse very well, but it's... Other people have done it and we'll probably get into it at the end, but this is probably one of the more interesting scenes in it and it's all it's all it's all Tennessee Williams plays.
00:31:44
Speaker
Right, okay. But Smithers will not make love to her like he used to and he's on ah he's on a crutch for some reason and he declares that Mr Burns needs to be left out of this and he breaks all the drinks. Then we hear Burns shouting, murderers Smithers! Smithers! Stella!
00:32:00
Speaker
is Yeah. So Burns goes outside and sees that Burns is in a toga. yeah I've never seen either play, so I can't tell you what No, me neither.
00:32:12
Speaker
Sorry, that one guy in the comments. Yeah, sorry about that. Okay, i will we'll have to watch some Tennessee Williams before the next episode. We're not men of culture, sorry. We haven't even watched fucking ah The Graduate yet.
00:32:24
Speaker
I watched The Graduate. Go check out my letterbox. I watched The Graduate. You didn't tell me you'd watched it I didn't know I was on such a timer. I should have watched it. I'm sorry now. Oh, my apologies. I didn't realize I needed to provide this feedback, but I have, yes, watched it. It's okay. It's fine. I will go watch it.
00:32:38
Speaker
Spillers asks Homer if he's listening because Homer's too busy eating an orange, and Spillers has to say, Simpson, and he goes, oh, yes, I was listening, very funny. Homer's frustrated because he was eating an orange, and Homer says he's actually making a metaphor using the orange.
00:32:52
Speaker
And Homer's metaphor begins with, marriage is like an orange because you have the skin, then there's sweet, sweet in it. then devours the whole thing, and Apu goes, I don't understand. if ah If you think about it, like, have you ever tried to, like, just peel an orange? It's not an easy task. And he did it by just, like, pushing it against his mouth.
00:33:12
Speaker
It's impressive. I'm sure there's a technique. He's got a very... He's got sharp stubble, is is what we've learned. Well, maybe we... the Simpson overbite. I think we have to join groundskeeper Willy in his lament of, we should have joined the orange eating class to learn this.
00:33:27
Speaker
Yeah, i would like I want a class taught by Hans Molman. Yep, Hans Molman is teaching this, and he is also on the oranges like a marriage, which annoys grandpa, because they'll just eat the talons. Yeah, so I guess Abe got bored of the tobacco-chewing class, or tobacco spitting. Well, Willy also in the tobacco-chewing class, and he went to successful marriage, so everybody's... I guess there's just not that many people in Springfield, really.
00:33:50
Speaker
Or you just don't, you know, you only need to do one class on tobacco spitting, really. Mo's finished teaching his lesson because he's in successful marriage as well. Ah, very true. Well, someone dissed his fly girl.
00:34:02
Speaker
no Yeah, so yeah obviously he had to like attend a successful marriage class to find out how to deal with someone dissing his fly girl. Well, no, so someone dissed his fly girl, and then sure so she proposed marriage to him, and now he needs to be prepared for a successful marriage. Oh, see, right. Because his fly girl is now going to be his fly wife.
00:34:21
Speaker
Can we also unpack the implication that Hans Molman has been married and therefore knows a bit about a good marriage and probably should be teaching the successful marriage class? He's too busy eating an orange. He's got passion about oranges, man. Like, you don't fucking clip his wings just to suit your agenda.
00:34:37
Speaker
i guess what I just think he would have a lot of useful life advice to impart. He does about eating oranges, all right? Okay, okay fine. Matt's choking on his rage again. As long as it's not orange.
00:34:53
Speaker
So everyone gets up to leave Homer's class and Homer laments the fact that he took the invention to Marge in bed. This will not work. Everyone hears the word bed and gets very excited, including Mo, who thinks something automatically wasn't. so can I just out, from this point on, in my opinion, no episode of Simpsons has fallen off quicker.
00:35:11
Speaker
in for For me personally, the rest of this episode is such a downward spiral. It is. it's just It's a strange tone to strike.
Unusual Episode Tone
00:35:21
Speaker
that Thank you. I'm so glad I'm not the only one this time. but Yeah, when it got... We'll get there, I guess. But the ending, i when it resolved, I was like, wait, what? That's the resolution? What the fuck? but The rest of this episode makes me genuinely uncomfortable.
00:35:35
Speaker
It's not great. So Mo's excited about the fact something wasn't working in bed, and Homer explains that, no, he Marge talk things over the bed, like when they're fighting over for money, and Mo is very excited about the troubles in Homer's marriage. Also, can I give my, here is where I thought the episode was going to go, yeah kind of vibe? Again, this isn't me thinking this would be funnier or superior, this is just where I thought it was going to go, is that Homer was going to actually stumble into a way...
00:36:03
Speaker
on what on on how to how to have a successful marriage because Homer and Marge do have a successful marriage. And it just turns out that ah that Homer and Marge do just naturally, because they do naturally just kind of support each other and look out for each other, you know, in a comedic kind of silly way. But they are like,
00:36:21
Speaker
Yeah. as it were and i thought that's where it was gonna go that homer was it it was gonna be another like homer gets famous kind of episode of him being a great marriage counselor but he doesn't actually realize what he's doing so when he's actually trying to be a good marriage counselor he's dogsh shit but when he's just talking He's great. That's, you know, again, I'm not fucking Matt Grenning. I don't know how to write a good episode of Simpsons. That's just where I thought the episode was going. I would have never guessed in a million years it would go the way it does.
00:36:53
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Anyway, let's see where it does go, Michael. Let's see where goes. Yes, so Homer starts explaining that they were having an argument about how often Marge dies of her, which excites the crowd because they didn't actually know that Marge does die of her, but she's great. know Marge was so naturally blue. Yeah.
00:37:08
Speaker
So Marge has apparently been grey as mule since she was 17. is there anyone Is there anyone else that has naturally bizarre hair colours? Because I know Milhouse is naturally... like they're They're blue. They're blue-haired.
00:37:20
Speaker
is is there anyone else Is there anyone else that has any other colour than blue? Is it just that blue is on the possibility of hair colours in Simpsons Land? That's an interesting point, and I'm struggling to think of any immediately off the top of my head. I'm sure there must be, but, like, I'm struggling to think of one.
00:37:41
Speaker
I'm guessing there's more blue-haired people, but any other colour would be... and but For some reason, because Marge has always had blue hair, you just kind of accept it, and you're like, yeah, blue hair.
00:37:53
Speaker
But if it was, like, green or, like, red, and I mean red-red, that would be ah don't That would be a step too far. It's weird. We accept blue. Why do we accept blue, guys? It's conspiracy by Big Blue to get us to buy blue hair dye. We accept that they all have yellow skin.
00:38:11
Speaker
What is the weirdest colour you've had your hair dyed? Because i had my I had my hair blue once, very briefly when I was a teenager. i've only I've only dyed my hair once, and it was sort of right as I was, like, leaving sixth form. I dyed my hair platinum blonde.
00:38:27
Speaker
Same. i've had I've had white hair. But I mostly did it because, like, the fairly school so strict school regulations that was like, oh, you can't dye your hair an unnatural colour. Oh, so you were, like, theyre really resisting. I was like, oh, yeah it's like oh tech yeah yeah, it was malicious compliance. was like, oh, technically, it's a natural hair colour. They were so fucking mad. And they were like, oh, for fuck's sake, you're leaving school. We can't even really do anything about it. Like, it was...
00:38:52
Speaker
just had to seethe and cope and I enjoyed every moment of that i got a talking to by one of my high school teachers because I had a mohawk and I mean an aggressive mohawk in secondary school that they would never have let us get away with that they have been like no shave that off they did try to like I think they just because I already had a reputation for like violence in secondary school they were just like let's just not set him off let's just let him maybe then he'll stop attacking people Michael, like favorite kids any weird hair any any weird hair stories?
00:39:26
Speaker
No, I've only dyed my hair once and that was black for a wedding, but I kind of fucked up the drying part of it. For a wedding? like is it when would Did you take black tie only just very seriously? No, there was there was a goth theme to the wedding. Oh, okay, that's fun. it It was in Whitby.
00:39:44
Speaker
Of course. the The goth capital of the world. Yes, but I forgot to dry my hair properly because I did it out of spray can. i ruined ah I ruined a car seat. I ruined a pillow and a bed sheet of my aunt's. Oh, no.
00:40:04
Speaker
I think I was accused of blackface at one point. sir Oh, my God. no So, yeah, that didn't go well. And it's not been dyed since. Oh, no, you've been scarred.
00:40:17
Speaker
I think I'll just embrace what God, the Lord gave me. The Lord, the Lord. Homer is recounting the fact that he's now a teacher and everyone was hanging on his every word. And we see that he's actually telling this to the Christie burger box again.
00:40:32
Speaker
And we then see that Wiggum and the entire police department have come i've got guns on him saying and he was warned about teasing the box. I like that Wiggum is kneeling. yeah He's kneeling and aiming the thingamajigger, the loudspeaker. i just I don't know why, i just saw that that weird detail and thought, I just found it very amusing that Wiggum takes like weird aspects of police work seriously. Because that's the position you'd have for a gun, not for a fucking megaphone.
00:41:01
Speaker
And the squeaky voice teen says he needs closure on the anecdote. Which is interesting because like presumably he was the one who called the police in the first place. Maybe not. Homer would moved him over.
00:41:12
Speaker
Maybe. Yeah, actually, yeah. Maybe someone just saw Homer teasing it was like, I need to call the police because he's teasing that box. It is Wiggum, though. He might have taken so long to get there that Homer had the time to win him over.
00:41:25
Speaker
Maybe, maybe. Then it cuts to the quickie mart and Marge is buying groceries and approved mentions that there's a sale on Blue Dye 52. This leads to a bit of a debate while Marge is sheepishly laughing but everybody else is going, nah actually she's Blue 56 and eventually Edda says, we love your husband's class and we hear Marge from afar go, that's nice. They just start to get weird vibes just from this point on.
00:41:50
Speaker
I mean, also, like, Marge has been dying her hair for, like, 15 or more years at this point. A, where does she buy her hair dye from? This is the only place she shops. So, like, it wouldn't be that unusual for her to buy it from here or for people to know that she buys it. If she's embarrassed by it, might mail order it.
00:42:10
Speaker
Ah, man. if she's In 1994? I know. I guess mail order is a thing, but it's fat. There's bulk buy places as well, like the Mega Mart.
00:42:22
Speaker
Oh, the Monstro Mart. Although Monstro Mart was new, so it can't have been that. Yeah, she hasn't been shopping for 15 years. She has blue hair. She must mail order it. Yeah, i don't know. Like, it just seems like, it seems like a weird thing for, it's like, you have blue hair, like, obviously it's dyed, are you pretending it's not? This is silly. Just buy your damn blue hair dye.
00:42:43
Speaker
Welcome to my world of the answer is for the bit. I know, yeah. Welcome to my world. Then see Marge in bed saying that she doesn't like the fact Homer's been telling personal secrets in his class. And Homer says he doesn't tell personal stuff. then Marge points out that everybody knows that she died heroin. Oh, you mean about you?
00:43:03
Speaker
Marge says that she's happy he can be a good... She hopes him to be a good teacher, but he needs to respect their privacy. This leads to Homer going on a monologue where he starts... What is... yeah This was so dumb. This wasn't like... Who who found this funny?
00:43:17
Speaker
It's not that it was, like, annoying, it was just not funny. Like, it was it was boring. It just went on so long. Yeah, it it it is just quoting lines from four different movies mishmashed into one monologue that doesn't make any sense. yeah I think that's what they were going for. Yeah, I get what they were trying to do, i just don't think what they were trying to do would have worked if they'd succeeded.
00:43:44
Speaker
It was just weird. i think this But again, this whole episode was weirdly written. Marge eventually has enough of Homer's monologuing and aggressively tells him to stop telling personal stuff and Homer goes, yes, ma'am.
00:43:56
Speaker
Yeah, again, that was just another, like, they didn't know how to resolve the bit, so they just had Marge get suddenly aggressive and un-Marge-like.
00:44:07
Speaker
Can i ask if this was written by one of the, like, regular writers? Yeah. Because it just it feels very different. This was written by Greg Daniels.
00:44:18
Speaker
um It's the second script Daniels had written for The Simpsons. Right, okay. That that genuinely explains a lot then. Then come back to Homer's class and Homer's trying to take a new tone in which he's reading out the definition of wedding in Webster's, but he describes it as the process of removing weeds from one's garden.
00:44:37
Speaker
Yeah. He might have the wrong one there. Everybody else wants more secrets, but Homer says, this is a place of learning, not a place of hearing about things. Everyone starts to leave and Otto laments the fact he paid 10 grand for this course.
00:44:50
Speaker
Jesus. He wants to know what a lab fee was for. But Homer starts to tell a story about some other married people. Which includes this particular Kirk of someone being sexually aroused when husband the husband nibbles on her elbow.
00:45:06
Speaker
So Edna asks for names and Homer goes, let's call them Mr. X and Mrs. Y. But unfortunately in the next sentence he says, he uses their real names when he says, Marge, if this doesn't get your motor running, my name isn't Homer J. Simpson.
00:45:17
Speaker
Willie and Apu are very stoked about this. Yeah, it was like mildly amusing, but at the same time, I was just like, I'm i'm usually kind of uncomfortable with people talking in detail about their sex lives in general, especially like The Simpsons.
00:45:32
Speaker
So, yeah, it was it was a weird bit. And also, again, Marge is a fucking freak, man. Nibble on that elbow. We know this. We know. that we will She's been established as a bit of a freak already, but yeah. yeah If Lee Major's been around the elbow, my God. Send it to the moon.
00:45:50
Speaker
With the same sound effect! I think I got it saved somewhere. I think i but I... I put that... Yeah, I don't know if you'd realize, but i have put it in the Discord soundboard, so if you want to play the Lee Majors sound effect at your leisure, you may. I've forgotten how Wow.
00:46:07
Speaker
Yeah! No one else heard that! It doesn't come through on the recording. like there's no I'm going to have to insert that to make that like make any sense. But yes, you you have that at your disposal now. Oh, you shouldn't have told me that. and have the rest of the evening's descending into. We then go to the next day and Marge is surprised that Hummer's not left for his class and Hummer says, he's going to have a nice leisurely dinner at home. So Marge says, that'll be lovely, then realises the entire class is surrounded with notepads and Hummer goes, oh, my class is here to observe the human peep show that is our lives.
00:46:40
Speaker
Random question, how often did you guys do the whole dining room meal thing? Like, how, ah was that a regular thing? Oh, like, i sit at a dining table for meals as a family? Yeah. Uh, Christmas. Christmas.
00:46:53
Speaker
Alright. Tell us about it. Christmas or whatever, there was an occasion for a roast. That was kind of it. Oh, we did it like once or twice a week. Maybe once a week. Our dining table was always like... We didn't have a dining room, so was in the kitchen, and it kind of took a while to the kitchen. it would have been really awkward to pull that out and then just dine in the kitchen. My parents bought a house they couldn't afford, so we had a dining room.
00:47:14
Speaker
Oh, very good. for thats So i think I think because they bought a house they couldn't afford, they were like, we're going to fucking use this dining room. I'm getting a house with a dining room, but going to be a games room.
00:47:26
Speaker
I'm just going to get a games table in there and make it a games room. Hell yeah. Just make sure the disturbing odor is the food. I shall. Wait, no, don't do that. Oh, you haven't tasted my cooking.
00:47:41
Speaker
So we see that the dinner begins and everyone is scowling at home as Homer tries to keep this sir nice anomaly. He refers to Lisa as the apple of his eye and says, how are things at the old school y yard's?
00:47:53
Speaker
Yeah, Homer's like, I get that he's like putting on a performance, but it would it just gave me like creepy vibes, which again is the point. a lot of A lot of what made me uncomfortable about this whole episode is the point, but instead of making me laugh, it just made me uncomfortable is the the end result.
00:48:12
Speaker
m Lisa's response to this is, I find this demeaning and embarrassing beyond my worst nightmares as everyone takes notes. Everyone takes Then Homer asks Bart what he did, is is describing him as his little major leaguer.
00:48:24
Speaker
And Bart says that he and Mel have threw some mail down the sewer, and Homer says, I know you meant well, but that was not the right thing to do. And Bart's response is, what the hell are you talking about? You're double dead. It's fair. which point Homer starts strangling Bart and everyone else goes, o This prompts Bart and Lisa to leave and Homer says, Now that the little ones have toned off the bed and Marge aggressively kind of says, I want this to end now.
00:48:45
Speaker
which point Mo goes to her poo, Hey, why don't you just nibble on her elbow? That melts her butter. At which point Marge has finally had enough and kicks everybody out of the house and Homer starts telling everybody to go read to so pages 7 through 18 of Lisa's diary. Which is the final thing that promptly gets Homer kicked out of the house himself.
00:49:03
Speaker
which point Otto goes, is this going to be on the test? Because I wasn't That was big attention. We then cut back to Homer and he's a banging on the door going, please let me in Marge, there's crickets out here. yeah i like I don't know why it gives me flashbacks to um Abe when he says there's wolves out here and then you genuinely hear the wolves howl. I thought that was such a good bit.
00:49:25
Speaker
And then yeah, Homer just being scared of crickets is also quite funny. Marge opens the door and is in full fury mode and Homer goes things were said and mistakes were made let's end this madness and get on with our lives but Marge is not having it as she points out that he's told personal things about her life and she doesn't think she can trust him anymore and Homer says he's learned his lesson and will'll never it'll never happen again at which point Ned leans out of his window and asks what's the big brouhaha is about and Homer then points out this prompts Marge to slam the door in her face and Homer says the door blew shut
00:49:59
Speaker
Then he finally works out that Marge has actually done it on purpose and he makes a big dramatic exit of this is getting old man and I'm hitting the road. Again, more quotes. just Yep. Smash cut to the following morning when he's in the treehouse.
Homer's Treehouse Stay
00:50:12
Speaker
Looking horrifying. Just like, his his expression, man.
00:50:17
Speaker
The Hummer is looking very dishevelled. Marge then points out to the kids that their parents are having a tough time, and they but they love them. And Bart and Lisa worry, and lor Lisa says that whenever she's worried about mum and dad, she goes up the attic and adds to a ball of string.
00:50:29
Speaker
And the huge balls. That got me. That was funny. The ball of string is absolutely huge and kills the cat. But it's also where Bart's twin lives, so... Yeah, we'll get into that episode. That's Treehouse of Horror. It's non-canon. Nah, well, you say that.
00:50:44
Speaker
then see that Milhouse and Bart are playing, and they're playing Zordroid brain changes, and Milhouse is pretending to be a robot, and they both climb up, and they're both disgusted as they see that Homer is washing his me undies.
00:50:56
Speaker
At which point Milhouse decides that ah his dad has blown the fantasy, and yeah he only likes it when he's pretending scared. no but The idea that Homer washing his undies is actively terrifying. Oh. I think it's more the state of Homer and just the strange goings on. would i i do feel like if I was their age and I went up into a treehouse and his overweight dad was there having a mental breakdown, I'd probably also be slightly scared.
00:51:27
Speaker
Yeah, fair enough, yeah. Toma tells Bart to keep it up, because without a strong male presence in the house, he could become sissy. We then see that Toma complains that he can't get the grass stains out of his underpants.
00:51:39
Speaker
I'll make a funny one with that. up. We cut to the next scene and Homer sees that Reverend Lovejoy is coming and Homer says, ah, Reverend Lovejoy will make Marge take me back or God will punish him.
00:51:50
Speaker
at which point we cut to Lovejoy who tells Marge to get a divorce and Marge goes, isn't that a sin? Doesn't this imply that they're Catholic? Because I don't think they've ever been... I think I've asked this question before and we kind of landed on them being like, someone like Presbyterian or something.
00:52:07
Speaker
But I feel like most... religions, most most denominations of Christianity don't consider... Did they consider divorce a sin at this period? and It depends on who on who they are. just don't know all They're not enthusiastic about divorce, I don't think. Right, okay. i don't i i mean like i don't I don't know whether it's a sin. not I don't know where it stands on sin, but like you know I think generally churches try to keep people in a marriage. Yeah. yeah But Lovejoy points out that everything is a sin, and even going to the bathroom is a sin.
00:52:40
Speaker
Yeah he was like have you ever actually read this Which that did amuse me Yeah that's that's very good We cut to Marge looking ah very depressed in her bed As she goes to the big Homer shaped indentation on the mattress We cut to Homer and Homer kisses a picture frame of Marge Good Night Lamenting the fact that I wish I'd taken a picture That was funny Ten years to take a We then see Marge is driving in a car and thinks about a how all the names of stores make her think of Homer, which I can't know what the names of them are. You've got Broken Home Chimney Repair, you've got Splitsville Ice Cream Sundaes, and Painful Memories Party Supplies, which is very strange.
00:53:24
Speaker
March then gets hearing Homer's voice, which includes ah things of, I love you, will you marry me? I hope we'll always be together, together, together. March then works out that Homer's just in the backseat speaking through a cardboard roll. Then she literally kicks him out of the car. That's quite funny. Weirdly uncomfortable. I don't know why.
00:53:42
Speaker
i and I think just the absurdity of it is quite funny that Homer's just snuck into the car to pretend to be a voice in the yeah in her head. Well, speaking of the absurd, then see Lisa climbing up the treehouse to give a Homer some pudding and she's horrified to see that Homer's made his own Marchama plant. Oh, this is just some weird scenario. Which he just declares is superior to her in every way.
00:54:03
Speaker
Lisa points out that's a plant at home and says that she will respect her new mother and give her a kiss. Kiss her! Kiss her! Homer drops the plant out of the treehouse where it shatters and Homer starts to panic and then he goes, all right, Lisa, let's get our story straight.
00:54:17
Speaker
She tripped, right? She tripped, right? it's Lisa then says she's brought some pudding Homer's response to this is, ah, your flesh mother used to be. Your flesh mother is quite an expression. I didn't have to rewind it because I thought you did not just say flesh mother. Flesh mother.
00:54:34
Speaker
Homer asks Lisa, points out to Lisa that she's smart, and asks how to help her trick her into taking him back, and uh... Lisa points out there's a reason that the two people came together and stayed together, and Homer's gotta work out what it is. Homer says, I'll give you four books if you can pick it for me. Lisa says no, but then Homer offers less, he offers 30.
00:54:50
Speaker
I remember being Lisa's age eight whatever, 40 quid was so much as as an eight year old.
00:55:01
Speaker
As a, so probably probably maybe a whisper younger than that, but the first like noteworthy purchase of my life would have been a Sega Mega Drive, which was 70 pounds. And i had to split the cost of that with me and my brother. We went halfsies on it.
00:55:15
Speaker
hello So yeah, that was a lot of money. That would that was an investment as an eight-year-old or whatever. Homer then tells his brain it's up to him, up to them, because they've got to work out what it is. putting, eat, putting, eat, putting, eat, putting, eat, putting, eat, putting, eat, putting.
00:55:30
Speaker
Homer goes, okay, but then we're going to work. You then see Mo rock up in his fancy suit and Mo's decided that he wants Marge to be his flag girl and pretty much tells her that he's just declaring his intentions to move in on the territory.
00:55:44
Speaker
Yeah, it was... Very way forward on that one. It kept going between like quite formal and proper and then very moh, which was amusing. Marge turns him down and Mo says he's about to start bawling. And then they immediately ruined the bit. They immediately ruined the bit.
00:56:01
Speaker
Like it was a good bit. And then they're like having him be all nice guy shit. And I was just like, no, I want to fucking curl into myself and die. m We don't see Mo sitting in the house and thinking, ah, this would have been, he would have been very happy here. But then we see that Homer's come in and Homer's come in and disheveled in his rags. holding And it's the meme. We've all seen this meme.
00:56:21
Speaker
Wait, what? Which one? The one of Mo looking up from the couch and then Homer looking down at him. That gets used all the time. Oh, I don't think I've come across that one. I see that one all the time.
00:56:31
Speaker
Homer asks Moe what he's doing there, and Moe starts to panic, saying he's never touched Marge, and Marge comes in with a water, and Moe says he never asked for any water. He runs away and jumps out the fucking window. LAUGHTER Oh wow, Homer Stone the wiser just goes, bye Mo. Bye Mo. Yeah, bye Mo. Also, if you think about it, that that the where he runs out is towards the kitchen, and the only window in the kitchen is the one above the sink.
00:56:57
Speaker
So he fucking dove through that window perfectly. No wonder it hurt.
00:57:07
Speaker
Homer says he's figured out what he can give Marge that nobody else can and it's a bouquet of posies and realises that Marge actually already has posies and says he doesn't deserve to live with them. mo Mo brought them. So Homer starts walking off sadly and his tattered rags get caught in the coffee table as he drags it up. Since when was the coffee table so spiked?
00:57:23
Speaker
For the bit. ah Yeah, but there's a bit there's better ways to do this. but They didn't even have to have the table spiked. They could have just had his shirt get caught on the table. They didn't have to.
00:57:33
Speaker
henry Also, like when they animate Marge untangling him, they do it with a surprising amount of detail. Yeah, that's quite impressive. That seemed like, yeah, very elaborately animated for like someone unhooking someone's shorts from his Because it's meant to be a significant moment of when Homer makes the realization that he does.
00:57:51
Speaker
I guess. elma realizes what you can offer margin no one else can and it's complete utter dependent why just to point out that's not a good for you and how because it's a wondrous marvellous thing he needs much more than anyone else could possibly need there and he needs her to love him the mar goes how can i know i could just do and homemo them fight at the bombshed but they've only actually been separated a day Yeah, and he has completely ruined himself. He's dirty as a Frenchman. Jesus, he is a Frenchman.
00:58:19
Speaker
Elmer then points out, in another few hours he'll be dead. Which is probably accurate. This is enough to win Marge over, and Marge says, you know how to make a girl feel needed? And Elmer goes, wait till I tell the class about this.
00:58:30
Speaker
Then quickly goes, kidding. Kidding. We then see that the family's back together at the breakfast table and Lisa tells Homer she knew he could do it and then quietly tells him to don't screw it up. But, uh, Dad, I couldn't concentrate in school and I got an F and Homer says, hey, this is from two weeks ago and then Bart gives him a fresh one.
00:58:48
Speaker
So Marge says she's got a special present for him and she'll give it to him later tonight. Homer gets all whiny and wants it now for the kids to see it before he finally caught his own. later. As Bodge goes through the dishes, Moe appears at the window goes, are you really happy? Nice guy, Moe.
00:59:03
Speaker
And then Hamlet goes, hey Moe, and Moe runs away again. And that's your episode, folks. Guys, this was so weird. This was so weird. Yeah. Yeah. so Weird woman. It was very much, as you say, it starts strong then it just goes in a very strange direction. It's not even like it.
00:59:21
Speaker
I think I would be more annoyed if it had like an amazing start. It's a great start. I do really like the start of this episode, but it's not like God to you, you know, it's just a great start.
00:59:32
Speaker
But it is such a fucking nosedive. There's a couple of good bits, like obviously clearly from talking about it, there's a couple more laughs in the latter half. But man, they they set is this episode a weird vibe the whole time.
00:59:47
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I think it's we've never seen Homer and Marge fight quite this dramatically. So realistically. Yeah. it's been It's been a hot minute since we've seen them fight particularly significantly anyway. And like never to this extent. And then to resolve it with this like, oh, but I'm dependent on you. And it's like, oh, yeah. OK, yeah, I guess. Yeah, cool. All right. I'll take you back.
01:00:12
Speaker
it yeah It did feel like a a non-resolution. It was just like, ah, we're resolving it because the plot requires it. Yeah, exactly. Everything needs to be resolved in 30 minutes.
01:00:23
Speaker
I mean, it's still
Marriage Portrayal & Generational Differences
01:00:24
Speaker
a good episode. Like, it's a very Homer-centric episode, and I do like Homer antics much of the time. Like, as weird as it was, it was still very funny. I think it was, like, the the padding was all, like, front-loaded, so it felt like it kind of accelerated in a weird kind of way. It started out slower, and, like, just, like, by the end of it, it was kind of moving a sort whip-crack pace. Yeah. and And oddly paced, oddly... Odd vibes, i suppose.
01:00:50
Speaker
yeah um But still funny. Yeah, had it had it had some good moments, definitely. Michael? What's your art of Homer's? Oh, straight into it. ah This one, like said, was a weird one for me because it had some like good early laughs, but then the laughs kind of slowed down to just some really uncomfortable bits. I imagine this was like hilarious to some people, so I'm going to give it a successful marriage out of Homer because it's context-dependent.
01:01:16
Speaker
Oh, interesting. Okay. What are you giving it, John? I gave it an engine revving and a Homer because it took a while to get up to speed. Ooh. I'm giving it a paying $10,000 for an glass out of Homer.
01:01:29
Speaker
There's some moments of satisfaction, but ultimately it probably isn't worth it. Did we accidentally skip that bit, or did we talk over you when you mentioned, yeah, that Otto said he paid $10,000 for this glass? No, we talked about that. No, no. Am I astute? Did I black out?
01:01:44
Speaker
Maybe, maybe. You showed us beers on 1.5. It's not even 1.5. Were you fidgeting with the Men in Black doobery again? Maybe.
01:01:54
Speaker
I have it. I should at least use it. Is that my podcast just blanking in memory? So, I've got some notes here in front of me. I guess i guess I'm on a podcast.
01:02:07
Speaker
What did I have to say about society? i saw I, this is the first time, i try I always try and keep my like notes for ah society down to like one paragraph. I tried to keep my notes in general, like pretty.
01:02:20
Speaker
succinct but um in terms of what it has to say about society you kind of take this in two ways what the episode was saying or what it says now because at the time it's obviously making jokes about like gossip culture and how people care more about that than their own betterment and it also talks about how some people are made for each other even if it's in a way you didn't expect. I think that's kind of the ethos they were going for.
01:02:47
Speaker
But when you look at it now, it has that weird boomer Gen X vibe of opposites attracts and that marriage should be a struggle and you have to make it work, et cetera, et cetera, which...
01:02:59
Speaker
always creeped me out even as a kid i was just like nah it's bullshit if you are not compatible with someone don't be with them because homer and marge like in a realistic sense are not good for each other beyond the fact that their struggle is what made the show funny you know there's a reason that kind of comedy is dying out you do not see shows like married with kids at all anymore You see in sitcoms people struggling with relationships and them stay in bad relationships but 99% of the time the people that they end up with are the people that they're written in a way they are perfect for each other.
01:03:38
Speaker
you know That kind of comedy died because millennials and and younger don't vibe with the oh my wife am I right kind of gags anymore. so Millennials are all wife guys is that what you're saying?
01:03:53
Speaker
Absolutely. yeah Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, on on the on the marriage thing, I thought it would have more to say about marriage, given, you know, the episode and its themes and title and all that. Like, I was expecting more on that, and it kind of comes away with, ah, but love conquers all, and love is the most important thing, and love keeps everything together no matter what. was kind of like, there really wasn't anything about what made Homer and Marge's marriage successful. It was just like, yeah, but they love each other, and that's enough.
01:04:25
Speaker
Which is... not a satisfactory ending, I've got to be honest. I mean, to go back to that one black and white scene, which I touched on as, like, an interesting thing about society, we see here Smithers was married to a woman.
01:04:44
Speaker
and failed to make it work. Which, like, if one views it through the lens of burn sexual, you're like, okay, fine, whatever. But, ladies shown to be gay, and I think there's a real sort of, like, there is a real observation there of, like, many gay people, while trying to figure things out, will date and marry women and figure things out later in life as they, like, figure themselves out and their sexual orientation. Shocking amount of them tend to be Republican.
01:05:12
Speaker
Yes, indeed. Right. So, yeah, maybe maybe there's something being said there, and look maybe a little ahead of its time, above... Before progressive values became more normalised and gay relationships became, you know, like, just a thing we accept, mostly, sort of, in many places, kind of. 2026, notwithstanding.
01:05:36
Speaker
But, yeah, injur interesting films do that in 1994 as well, yeah. Yeah, I think they definitely... I think that the way that the the Simpsons writers have talked about Smithers multiple times now is is like quite interesting, that they were like, no, we never envisioned him as gay, we envisioned him as Burns sexual.
Gay Character Portrayal & Book Reference
01:05:55
Speaker
And I think this is it's kind of like a microcosm of re of of people going through realizing that you are gay, is that they they didn't envision him as gay, but they did write a gay character that has gay struggles and those kind of things and they they wanted to talk about that but they weren't sure why they you know it's like oh we want someone in a sham marriage who should we have smithers and they don't know why they want smithers they just think it's funny that then they can have the the person they're actually in love with be mr berns did you get what i don't know if i'm explaining yeah no i follow i follow yeah no i do get you yeah yeah
01:06:30
Speaker
I mean, something that's, I mean, I'm pulling my analysis here from the the analysis on Wikipedia, which has taken itself from a book leaving Springfield, which at this point I'm going to point out is something we probably need to read, or at least I need to read and we need to dissect as part of this podcast at some point in the future. Again, talked about doing bonus episodes in the past. That feels like bonus episode fodder. Leaving
Season Five Recap & Analysis
01:06:56
Speaker
Springfield is a book about how The Simpsons has a lot to say about society I'm reading.
01:07:01
Speaker
That's crazy. Oh, no, no. It's it's it's about how society is shaped by The Simpsons. Okay, fine. um it it It ties in neatly with like the thesis of this podcast, so it feels like you know strong material for us. So this that that particular scene was described as perhaps the best example of an attempt to portray an actual gay lifestyle on the show.
01:07:24
Speaker
that partly stemming from Tennessee Williams' own personal struggles with homosexual desires in the first place, which comes through somewhat in the content of his plays, which is potentially why it was chosen for this material.
01:07:39
Speaker
yeah so No, I think it's i think it's um interesting. I think, yeah, they they definitely... had these vibes and thoughts with smithers that they just didn't know how to pass in a way no it's really fascinating another bit of simpson's cultural analysis is ah a further book education in popular culture as a number of authors contribute to that but uh they suggested that this episode portrayed adult learners as stupid and lazy ah
01:08:09
Speaker
despite showing teachers as having high societal status. They add, Homer's pride is undercut for the audience by the awareness of how he came to be appointed and the subsequent representation of the adult education center.
01:08:23
Speaker
I think that's fucking stupid, because there were people there were there were two other classes, three other classes, where the adult students were engaged and actively learning the thing they were being taught. What it portrayed was Homer's a shit teacher.
01:08:38
Speaker
All of the classes were shown to be completely fucking stupid classes, though. but They were shown to be stupid classes, but the students were engaged. No, I think the analysis of showing adult learners is... No, think that's fucking stupid. I think i think that's completely ass-backwards. Michael, any takeaways?
01:08:56
Speaker
Yeah, Michael. No, go for it. No, think you've already covered much of what can be said about the this these episodes, I think. Well, shall we move on to Bart of Darkness? Yeah, well, well no. i still we do Before we do that, I think... Yeah, there is a before we do that bit. We have reached the end of a season, and you know what do at the end of a season?
01:09:17
Speaker
we recap the season. ah
Cultural Analysis & Adult Learners
01:09:19
Speaker
fuck! i i keep I need to pull up the list of episodes. What season was this? Season five began with Homer's Barbershop Quartet.
01:09:30
Speaker
bo Matt hates it I didn't hate it I just do not think it it was was it was just kind of dull Cape Fear banger great episode Homer goes to college weird yeah Rosebud I genuinely forget Burns remembers his long arm Bobo the bear that was fun he was he had some it was okay yeah I don't remember anything really standing out about it Treehouse of Horror 4 already forgotten it I like The Treehouse of Horrors. They're always fun.
01:10:02
Speaker
Marge on the Lamb. Fantastic. Banger. Absolute banger. Great episode that then inspired me to watch probably what is now one of my favourite films. Absolutely. It was an excellent film, yes. Excellent episode. An excellent episode.
01:10:16
Speaker
Yes, good experience. Well recommended. Butts and a Child. do She's addicted to nagging and cults of self-help guru Brad Goodman. Just do what you feel. oh Everyone acts like Bart.
01:10:29
Speaker
These were the episodes I missed, right? Did you? oh It was... It was... Fine. I don't remember it that much. I remember bits of it, but... Yeah, some of this is forgettable. Boy Scouts in the Hood, the scouting one. Oh, this was fun. I remember this being fun. Yeah, this was funny.
01:10:45
Speaker
Last Temptation of Homer, Mindy. I like Mindy. Yeah, fun episode. Again, you know, um it has the bit of ah of Homer getting out the elevator and falling down the entire stack, which is like just so fucking iconic.
01:11:00
Speaker
it yeah Again, it's another one. See you tomorrow. Yeah, it's ah it's a great like for the bit moment because you're just there like, why is there an elevator in the smokestack?
01:11:14
Speaker
Springfield or how learned stop worrying and love legalized gambling. ah yeah it was all right. It was all right. I remembered it as better than it was. Yeah. Home of the Vigilante, Cat Burglar.
01:11:26
Speaker
Yeah, fun fun. Fun enough. It was okay. you know it's it's got it's it's It's got... It's got a good cac but cat burglar in it. Yeah. Bart gets famous.
01:11:37
Speaker
ah Already forgotten it. Oh, I didn't do it. That's the one. Yeah, I didn't do it. you Yeah, it was okay. Homer and a poo? Um... um I thought we navigated the waters of that successfully. That was a good episode for of for my money. like If you want
Podcast Storytelling Approach
01:11:54
Speaker
to see some actual good, interesting like cultural analysis, I think that's one worth actually checking out if you missed that one. Go go go listen to us talk about Homer and Poe. I think, good yeah, it's definitely one of those episodes. The actual episode of Simpsons is is hard to watch.
01:12:09
Speaker
with a modern lens but if you just kind of accept it for what it is you can still find it funny and it is it is an amusing episode yeah i think three white guys did a really good job talking about indians being portrayed by white guys i think yeah i think we did i think we all deserve pat on the back go us like go go white guys go go white people the real oppressed we we have ended racism we're I think we did, honestly. White guy's almost as oppressed as gamers. You know, we're not quite there, but, you know, the real oppressed of the world.
01:12:48
Speaker
Oh, fuck's sake. Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy. liked this episode. It was funny. was good. was all right. It was fun. It was weird. D-Space Homer. An absolute classic. but not as good as I remembered it, but still very fun. Yeah, likewise, yeah, yeah, yeah. Iconic, but, like, not as good as I remember it. It's still, yeah, it's still a great episode of Simpsons, but it is just kind of, yeah, did not live up to the mental hype, I guess.
01:13:13
Speaker
Homer loves Flanders. I liked Homer loves Flanders. That's all right. Yeah, it's fun episode. gets an elephant. Eh. Yeah, we're fine. It's there. Burns is there. Eh, yeah, I had some good moments, you know.
01:13:25
Speaker
Yeah, I liked it, yeah. Sweet Seamor Skinner's badass song? Again, had some good moments, but again, it to it was one of those like less gag-centric episodes, and a lot of the gags were based on being uncomfortable, and that's just not my jam.
01:13:42
Speaker
It was okay. Mostly there for Willie and the Vents, for that one for me. Grease me up, woman, and all that. yeahck oh Yeah, it had great yeah exactly so it had the like it had the iconic bit. but The Boy Who Knew Too Much? Meh.
01:13:56
Speaker
Lady Bouvier's lover. Also, ma'am. I genuinely preferred Lady Bouvier's lover to but the boy who knew too much, but... um Yeah. and I think we've reasonably well covered secrets of a successful marriage at this point. ah Yeah, it was really weird and uncomfortable.
01:14:09
Speaker
I... Since I've been like going back and tying them up, I gave this season one out of 22 Homer out Homers. out of 22 Homer of... Ah, okay. Yeah, 22 episodes, I gave it one... one i gave it I gave a lot of them very close. I gave them like things where I was dancing around Homer out of Homer's.
01:14:27
Speaker
Have you only been collecting yours, or have you been collecting everyone? I've been collecting mine. I know I've not been collecting everyone else's. I remember I need to keep starting to collect mine, and then I never do. I did go back through my notes to try and find out, like, which season was best based on Homer's out of Homer.
01:14:43
Speaker
I gave season one zero, season two had one, season three had two, season four had three, and season five was back down to one. So season four is the best season so far. Damn. I think
'Bart of Darkness' Discussion
01:14:54
Speaker
I reined myself in a bit this season as well, because I was like, oh, I gave three out last season, is that too many? So I think I probably, like, restrained myself a Yeah, I think I've basically, I think, looking back and I've probably given out, like, maybe one or two max per season.
01:15:09
Speaker
I don't think I've given a single homer this season. Nothing perfect this season. Maybe I gave Marge one, Marge on the lam, but I don't think I did. i don't... ive I... ah for For all that I've analyzed, was it Cape Fear? Yes, I gave Cape Fear. Of course it was. You were like banging on about that episode for fucking ages as well as goddamn... Goddamn...
01:15:35
Speaker
Homer's Barbershop. Homer's Barbershop Quartet is also great, so... Nah. Nah.
01:15:43
Speaker
Alrighty. Anything else to say on season five? Speak now or forever, hold your peace, we're gonna move on to season six. It was a fun story. Yeah, it's Simpsons. Cool. Bart of Darkness.
01:15:56
Speaker
First aired September 4th, 1994. What on earth happened on September 4th, 1994? Well, let me tell you. The Bulgarian government of Lubin Berov falls.
01:16:09
Speaker
Damn, that sounds like quite an event. Chinese driver Fu Mixia wins the 10m platform gold medal at the World Swing Championships in Rome, Italy, becoming the first female to win back-to-back world titles in the event.
01:16:22
Speaker
Wait, Chinese driver? Diver. Diver. I was thinking, I was like, why would you have driving concert for 10 meters? think he did say driver. I was hoping no one noticed that. I hadn't read this in advance. It changes the context a lot, Michael. You've got to pronounce those letters. I was so confused. I didn't read it when started. I hadn't read it before. So when started reading I thought it said driver. Then they mentioned the gold medal. I was like, oh. A contest for driving 10 meters is more like a contest of how quickly can you start a car.
01:16:56
Speaker
Yeah, i just I just kept going and hoping no one would notice. The 10-meter drag race. All right, let's move on. Let's have some NFL records. probably win better if you just, like, turn the car on and just let it roll the 10 meters instead of trying to rapidly, like, spin the wheels.
01:17:11
Speaker
All
90s Music Reminiscing
01:17:13
Speaker
right, let's have some NFL records. Miami quarterback Dan Marino throws five touchdown passes in the Dolphins' 39-35 win over New England. That sounds like a lot.
01:17:23
Speaker
sets NFL record for his 18th game of four or more touchdown passes. that Then it was a lot then. Well done him. And meanwhile, Tom Tooper scores the first two-point conversion NFL history. What stupid fucking name.
01:17:37
Speaker
Running a fake extra point attempt for the Cleveland Browns with a win at Cincinnati. Did you see a fake extra point? Yeah, fake... ah it's That's what it says, a fake extra point attempt. a fan but what what ah What does that mean?
01:17:53
Speaker
i don't know. I don't know American football, so I don't... though Those words just mean nothing to me. i'm good I'm actually going to... Well, actually, no, when I... when i likely move it will more be um basketball that i have to watch more well i don't have to watch it i could just not talk to my partner's father but he likes basketball he likes basketball and football and they all watch basketball and football together so i feel like i should be involved right Instead just being a dick about it.
01:18:25
Speaker
Well, you know what? I think you need to feel the love. And that's what the music will do for you, because the UK number one is Love Is All Around by Wet Wet Wet. Okay. We've
'Bart of Darkness' Episode Highlights
01:18:36
Speaker
had Wet Wet Wet before, right?
01:18:38
Speaker
I think so. yeah I'm fairly certain on Wet Wet Wet being. Yeah. Because i think... think we might have had the American one as well. Even back then I was, like, amused by the fact that it's just fun to say Wet Wet Wet. So this, of course, is the soundtrack to four Weddings and a Funeral.
01:18:51
Speaker
I've never seen it. That seems to be like such a... fit Like, so many people when I was younger watched that film, and I never... I've never watched it. I watched it for the first time over Christmas. It is so overhyped. It's completely fine.
01:19:06
Speaker
We watched it on our eve, but... high school for some bizarre reason because it was supposed to show how weddings work. I mean, I guess it does that. That's that's an excuse for not bothering to teach that day. They had a hat on them.
01:19:20
Speaker
ah You'll be feeling the love in the the US, but in a slightly different way because it's I'll Make Love To You by Boyz II Men. I don' think i've ever listened to a Boyz II Men song. think I've heard this. sure. right No, i if I've heard it, I didn't know it was them. It is going to be several, probably, years of this podcast before we get to music I've regularly heard.
01:19:42
Speaker
These charts, like, ah stuff that tends to make the charts is rarely stuff I've heard of anyway, at the best of times. You'd think I would have heard of some number one hits, but even still. Eh.
01:19:53
Speaker
We have to get you on the 90s rotation. Get you on a 90s Spotify playlist. we We need to start analysing a show from the 80s, really. Oh, man, there's so many good ah sitcoms we could do. We could do MASH.
01:20:09
Speaker
But I think that's earlier than the 80s. That's before. my thouing what I don't think watching MASH is going to help our ability to understand 90s pop songs. Anyway, speaking of MASH.
01:20:21
Speaker
MASH was 72. and there wasn't a lot of music and mash just a lot of surgery and death yeah yeah doesn't mash just end with them all dying oh my god does it yeah i think so like there's yeah i think it ends with a load of a load of um koreans get i think it ends with a korean string quartet getting blown up and they all get and the war just ends that's brutal man it's not it's not as cheer as you would think it's series sitcoms should be. Yeah.
01:20:51
Speaker
Anyway, Simpsons. Anyway, speaking of MASH, well there is there is a reference in here. quite Yeah, we could tie all together, folks. But first, let's talk about beans, because beans are neither fruit nor musical.
01:21:05
Speaker
It's true. At least according to the chalkboard gag. It's true. Yeah, I mean, it's accurate. don't if funny because it's true, but it is true. it is accurate. And our couch gag is ah the family run. Family. I just sat in the middle floating over there. Then the couch comes and sits home. I didn't know where this was going. So then when the couch comes in and like slithers in, it really got me, man.
01:21:27
Speaker
New season, new gags. This is fresh. Yeah. i Yeah, I thought this must be fresh. Like, like there's no way. They do tend to reduce seasons. They tend to write some new ones. Yeah, it was good. The episode begins with it being a nice sunny day in Springfield and Hans Moorman leaves his house.
01:21:41
Speaker
And he looks up at the sun and goes, well, you're doing your job today, Mr. Sun. Fortunately, glasses work as magnified glasses, which just sets on fire. starting a season
Simpsons' Heatwave Solutions
01:21:51
Speaker
with Hans Moorman is a bold move as well. Like, love to see it. Starting a season with a burning Hans Moorman. just... And his response to is just, oh, rats. Burning Hans Molman is the name of my new death metal band.
01:22:04
Speaker
yeah We go to the wax museum and the squeaky voice teen is taking the tour and shows the world famous Beatles at the Ed Sullivan show. Everyone has just melted. yes We tie it back to Mash because Skinner points out he's ankle deep in Mash and he doesn't think he should be charged full price for this.
01:22:21
Speaker
he's like I like how he said the original cast of M.A.S.H. as well, which I know what he means by that. But to me, I was like, no, that's not the original cast of M.A.S.H. because they're human beings, not wax figures.
01:22:32
Speaker
And if if human beings had melted, I'd be much more worried. Well, how's Mormon just set on fire? So I don't think it's beyond the realms of possibility. This is true. This is true. I hear me singing about how it's nice and sunshine is making happy. He just it gets punched in the face. Oh, I've wanted to punch some buskers, man.
01:22:50
Speaker
There are some buskers, especially where I used to live in Huddersfield, that I was just like, your mum told you you're a good singer, didn't she? yeah I mean, like, if you watch any sort of talent show, reality TV show, like, that seems to be a recurring theme of many people who think they conform is just somebody said they were a good singer, and like, oh, that means I should go on Britain's Got Talent or whatever. No, it's probably someone just wanted you to leave them alone. Yeah, she's a good singer. Please fuck off. You should go do that away from me. Yeah, you should do that over there, so I can appreciate it over there. Wow, wiring my headphones.
01:23:28
Speaker
Homer's found another way to stay cool, and we see that he's set up a tent outside the fridge. Good thing Homer's paid $88,000 a year. Homer and Bar and their MeUndies scrubbing themselves down with frozen peas and things of that nature.
01:23:42
Speaker
Oh, man. they Like, what the thing is for me is, like, just imagine putting a box or bag of frozen peas on your bare chest. That would be so fucking cold.
01:23:54
Speaker
Yeah, but it's really hot, so it feels nice. No, I'd be too cold. Too cold immediately. Nah, I don't like that. don't like the thought. Marge points out that this is not what the fridge was supposed to be used for, but she and Lisa quickly went on and over.
01:24:06
Speaker
Yeah, like this. She's like, it's it's it's not what it's supposed to be used for, but ooh, it is nice and cold in here. I learned this when I discovered that the fridge was cold. Marge notably the only person in the house who hasn't taken to wandering around in either underwear or swimsuit just because of the weather. Yeah, Marge's dignity.
01:24:25
Speaker
Apparently. well what We'll get to dignity in a bit. They're very okay with portraying a 10-year-old boy in his underwear, but not okay with doing the same thing with an 8-year-old girl.
01:24:35
Speaker
I'm not saying that they should have done it with Lisa. I'm just saying it is interesting that that is how they thought about it. You know what mean? Mm-hmm. Yeah, but let's we'll get to interesting choices about things like that when we get to the ending of this episode. I mean, like, if I can derail you, and I know I shouldn't at the hour and a half mark, but like this episode was delayed in production because there was a massive earthquake in the area in 1994 that damaged a lot of the production building. So they had to move out for three months.
01:25:08
Speaker
And like this episode was delayed quite considerably, so they had a lot more time to work on details. So like one of the details they picked up on, that specifically highlighted, was they decided Bart should be wandering around in his underwear. Whereas again, prove previously they'd just been like, ah, swimsuits. Sarah walking around in swimsuits. I'm like, wait, isn't it funnier to have underwear? So there's like a lot of details like that that got added by giving them a shitload of extra time to work on the episode.
01:25:33
Speaker
it Okay, I guess. yeah i I don't see their reasoning, but I i guess. Bart being in his underpants didn't increase my enjoyment of the episode. Swim shorts would have been fine. do you know but but no i will I will retract that a little, because the season where Homer and Bart get lost in the woods, and they're both both of them are wearing the like bush undies, is
Pool Building & Community Interactions
01:25:56
Speaker
quite funny, because it's like big man...
01:25:59
Speaker
in bush undies than little boy who's son also wearing bush then it's you know so it was amusing then so it could have been amusing now because it's it's you know it's a son mimicking his dad i i kind of get it i kind of get it i'm gonna retract a lot of my complaints Yeah, Jim Reardon described this episode as closer to what he was trying to achieve as a director than he'd ever done before.
01:26:21
Speaker
Fair enough. Maggie crawls in and goes to sleep on the Jello, which is cute. That's cute and adorable. That's some sturdy-ass jelly. That's some sturdy jelly, yeah. Oh, man, I love jelly.
01:26:33
Speaker
how many of you How many of you have ever just eaten raw jelly, you know, in those little plastic packets? What, like the cubes straight on the cat? Yeah. Yeah. I was advised not to as a child, but i was not gonna stop me. Oh, I did it all the fucking time. I actually did it recently, like a couple years ago, because I was like, just wanted that nostalgia. I immediately felt sick. Immediately. Like, I just, within like moments of finishing the pack, it was like, no.
01:27:01
Speaker
no Oh, you ate the whole packet. Oh my god. yeah Yeah, that's enough to make like an entire bottle. That is the equivalent of eating the entire bowl of jelly because all you're really adding to that is water. So it's just yeah i yeah like you ate a whole bowl of jelly concentrated form. Yeah, you ate jelly concentrate.
01:27:16
Speaker
I'm assuming he wouldn't be like a full-on cartoonish thing, but I'm sure it would expand in your stomach slightly. Because there would be some warmth of moisture there. Maybe. i don't i don't know how... it doesn't really expand. it just like You just kind of liquefy it and then it sets again. yeah so it's not like it would set in your stomach.
01:27:34
Speaker
Yeah. It might set in your colon. It's a large amount of sugar. Or pooping out the jelly as it's set. Oh, no. Let's move on.
01:27:45
Speaker
I shouldn't have asked the question. regret. No, no, no. we no no well This is my turn to derail. I want to know the physics. Nobody wants to know the physics of pooping jelly, Michael. I feel like it would be way easier than then you seem to think. I think pooping jelly would be very easy.
01:28:06
Speaker
There's no fiber in jelly. I think it would be easy. i just think, like, if it came out as jelly, it would... Oh, yeah, no, the sensation would be, like, traumatizing. Would it just feel like Lou?
01:28:18
Speaker
it I feel like it'd just feel like having the shits. you You go eat some packets jelly and let us Someone turned this point. Someone has turned off. Let's move on. Oh, we are actively, like, getting unsubscriptions at this point.
01:28:31
Speaker
Let's do a disclaimer. Don't go eat be jelly that's not out of the mould. It's probably a bad idea. Tell us about ice cream. God damn it. Right, Tom.
01:28:43
Speaker
Marge points out this will overload the motor. The fridge dies and Homer asks Marge to set the oven to cold. Yes. We go to the family all sticky in the thing. Marge turns on the fan, which blows her hair to the side. She has to turn the fan on to the other side. I love her little smile before her hair falls onto her face.
01:29:00
Speaker
Again, like you talk about the little details. I feel like that's one of them, having Marge do a little green. That was great. Marge and Bart and Lisa hear the... jingle of the ice cream van and Bart has to peel himself off the sofa
Bart's Injury & Lisa's Popularity
01:29:14
Speaker
yep which is the and they run outside and the ice cream van declares that he's all out of cream fresh out of ice cream it's true you know it's true you know it's true you know that's such a good little detail so Bart and Lisa are depressed and then they hear another jingle and it turns out unfortunately this is from the chilli man who's offering a Texas style chilli and he's got ginger ale boiling hot Texas style ginger ale We need message Al and ask him if that's what ginger ale is like in Texas.
01:29:44
Speaker
I suspect not, but maybe. Bart rightly goes you. i absolutely if If my only option was chilli, I'd have some chilli. I love chilli. Yeah, but would you pair it with a boiling hot ginger ale?
01:29:56
Speaker
I feel like, yeah, if the neighborhood chili van's driving around, I'd give it a go. Yeah, I mean, he's ease's there. Might as well give him some business. He's a small business. We're supposed to support small businesses, Michael. Absolutely. Are you just an Amazon fan? Do you just get all your chili off Amazon? Is that what it is?
01:30:10
Speaker
Well, just because just because we've just had a conversation about having the shit. I'm not going just random ice cream van and filled with chili. Yeah, and actually, a chili out of the back of a van is is like a questionable choice. Yeah.
01:30:25
Speaker
It is not, as Lisa says, the salvation rolling up in the back of a truck. At which point, the Springfield pool mobile appears behind him. Otto comes to a halt and the gets splashed by the wave and complains that he's got to replace that.
01:30:38
Speaker
Apparently this based on a similar vehicle from David Merkin's childhood where a truck with a spinning car's fair but ground ride on the back would often come around his neighbourhood. Yeah, Okay, weird, but all right.
01:30:50
Speaker
Most of the fairground rides around, like, small towns in England are usually on the back of trucks. Yeah, I know, but, like, ah the the implication here is that it did just, like, rock up in a street, not, like, drive to a fairground. It was just, like, it turned up in the suburbs and just stopped in someone's street and was like, hey, fairground rides, do you want on?
01:31:10
Speaker
yeah then see that the kids are now and all the other children now playing in the pool, and Bart tells Lisa that he's managed to steal five bathing suits off Martin. We then cut to Martin, and Martin's wearing a ridiculous obscene amount of bathing suits, and he says he's wearing 17 layers.
01:31:25
Speaker
The kids all surround him, and then we see that butt Martin is now not wearing any layers, and he kind of points out that he brought this on himself. And we get our first view of what's going to be many of Martin's arse. They really like show Martin's arse in this episode for some reason. which point, the Otto declares that time's up, and Lisa's upset about this, but Bart's got a plan. He's going to stow away underwater and go where the pool goes. He wishes Lisa a good life and goes underwater.
01:31:49
Speaker
He's underneath there for about for a seven seconds. For pathetic seven seconds, man. Otto pulls him out and says they've got to fill this thing with salts to take it over to the old folks' home. And Otto asks at the same time tomorrow and Otto goes, nope, they're only budgeted for one day of summer. And he points out, well, it's kind of a tease, isn't it? It's true.
01:32:07
Speaker
It's true, you know. yep We do cut back to Homer watching TV, and Lisa tries to interrupt him, and Homer just flops sideways so he can look Lisa eventually turns off the TV, and Homer has her attention.
01:32:21
Speaker
Lisa points out that they've developed a taste for swimming, and they want their own pool, and then points out that if Homer does not agree to this, he's going to have months of... Can we have a pool, Dad? Can we have a pool, Dad? Can we have a pool, Dad? Can we have a pool, Dad? Can we have a pool, Dad?
01:32:33
Speaker
I do quite like these bits where Bart and Lisa like coordinate to be like children, you know, and like work in tandem. I always enjoy these bits. So Lisa stops Bart and Homer says he understands and says, let us celebrate the new arrangement of me adding chocolate to milk. I don't know why that made me laugh so much. Yeah, no it's it's a good it's a good vibe. With bar and Lisa team, I always like that it's this weird presentation vibe because it does kind of remind you of like when you were preparing to ask your mum for something or your dad and you were going through like what you were going to say in your head and you know, all of these things. And it does give that vibe. So it's a great like homage to to childhood in a fun way.
01:33:15
Speaker
Mhm. Again, on the bonus content, we really must at some point talk about Bart Simpson's Guide to Life, which absolutely has advice on doing that for kids. Nice.
01:33:25
Speaker
Yeah. Family go off to pool sharks and they're looking around the sale models, which include the Hick Tub, the Instarus, and the Lightning Magnet, before they finally settle on the Tinkler. March asks if it's true they should wait an hour before eating and the salesman just says this job isn't what he actually does he plays keyboards I like that I always love like it's that vibe of just I just work here which is true like in the service industry you should not be if they want us to give a shit pay us better Absolutely true.
01:33:53
Speaker
The family starts a montage of building, and which includes Maggie walking with a bladesaw. As you do. The family starts finishing, and we see that they've actually built a barn, and Homer says, everybody into the pool?
01:34:05
Speaker
Then Amish man that just appears and goes, it's a fine barn, but it's not a pool. Oh, it pumps Homer to go, Doe-worth. Apparently a reference to at the film Witness, but I don't know that one.
01:34:20
Speaker
Nah. They eventually build the pool and Homer timidly asks, is it a pool? And Mr. goes, yes. The doorbell rings and Marge wonders who is and we see that all the kids are just there in their bathing suits. It's every child in town at the door. yeah Yep.
01:34:34
Speaker
Jimbo calls Marge Mrs. Bart and then goes, is the pool ready? And Marge is annoyed. no that I liked that. That was very reminiscent of when you went to to a friend's house and you're like, i do not know what your parents' name is. Yeah.
01:34:47
Speaker
What do I call them? We don't see that Marjorie's in the kitchen making sandwiches for loads of yelling children. and then I remember when I was a kid, actually, one of my one of my friend's parents said, oh, don't call me Mrs. Blank, call me this. And me being me just went, no.
01:35:05
Speaker
I just like didn't stop to think about how rude that might sound. I was just like, no. Because i i all I am at it is my mum getting annoyed at me for not being polite. So I was like, no. Yeah, no, I get that. That makes sense. No, that makes total sense. Yeah, I get it.
01:35:20
Speaker
Marge asks Bart if all these children are friends of his and Bart goes, friends and my wishes. The kids then walk in and just start saying hello Bart to a random kid. One of the boys turns back and goes, hello and Mrs. Cumberdale to Bart to Marge. The voice acting for that one line as well was so like, un-Simpsons. It was just like, hello mr mrs Mrs. Cumberdale. I don't know why it's the voice acting. It's not one I'd heard
Bart's Isolation & Neighborhood Investigation
01:35:41
Speaker
before, so it was very strange.
01:35:42
Speaker
Bart climbs up on top of the treehouse to discuss the pool safety, which prompts everybody to tell him to jump. Bart is about to jump in and Nelson says that his epidermis is showing and Bart starts checking himself over as all the girls start laughing.
01:35:54
Speaker
This pumps Bart to fall and Nelson's flamby corneas Bart is falling that epidermis actually means hair. No, it doesn't. no Technically, it I think it's skin, isn't Epidermis is skin. It is skin. I'm pretty sure I, like, based off of this, believed it meant hair for years because this was my source of information. would Nelson lie? Why would TV lie to me like this?
01:36:17
Speaker
Well, Nelson nala takes a moment to interrupt his wrong science fact to laugh at Bart. Milhouse then points out that he's actually really hurt with a broken leg and then he goes, I said, ha ha! then We don't get the urgency of Bart in the hospital. He's being rushed through multiple doors for the emergency room just to end up in the waiting room that's packed.
01:36:34
Speaker
Get this boy a magazine. Stat. Dr. Hibbert looks at Bart's stat. Scanlon says that that leg's going to have to come off. And Bart and Homer are shocked until Hibbert points out that didn't mean leg. meant a bathing suit. And Bart's upset that he's going to be in a cast and miss the whole summer.
01:36:49
Speaker
Homer then points out to Bart that when he gets a job, he'll miss every summer. Isn't that the truth, Homer? It's true, you know? hear We then see that Lisa is ah in the pool and Jerry points out that it's amazing that they decided that they liked her the same day that she got a pool.
01:37:06
Speaker
Hey, that did work out timing-wise, didn't it? Bart is in a chair with his cast and all the kids are ignoring him as he's trying to get his cast signed. Eventually gets Milhouse to millhouse the sign his cast and say that Milhouse will spend is the long hot days by his side and Milhouse goes, I've lost my glasses in the pool.
01:37:21
Speaker
Bart then points out that Milhouse is wearing his glasses and Milhouse goes, no I'm not. And we see Milhouse has signed Milpool. Milpool! He's got pool on And sort of trailed off as he's walking away.
01:37:32
Speaker
Lisa's about to out of the pool to keep Bart company for a little while, but you can see the boys are calling her back in by beating up Uta, I think it was. Underwater. Was it Uta that was getting pummeled underwater?
01:37:44
Speaker
I think it's just a generic kid. I don't think we've actually been introduced to Uta specifically as a character yet, have we? I'm not sure. I think he was in the Halloween episode, wasn't he? Oh, was he? Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, he was! Yeah, yeah, yeah. He has the weird weird German candy, right?
01:37:59
Speaker
Whoever this kid is, Lisa enjoys in his ah misfortune and goes back into the water to be popular. And Bart's brain goes, well, looks's like it's just me and me now. And Bart goes, oh, great, I get to spend the summer with my brain.
01:38:11
Speaker
They do this bit twice. Yeah, they do get a lot of mileage out of this bit. So we see that Bart is in his room saying, what fun can you have in a pool anyway that you can't have in a bathtub with a garbage bag wrapped around your leg?
01:38:23
Speaker
So, there's such a strange thing to say. turns out you can have a lot of fun because you can do synchronized swimming routines. You can have whole bit of just all the kids doing a routine, yep.
01:38:36
Speaker
Which ends with Homer coming into the centre in a tyre and this doing a water fountain with beer. That was music, yeah. But declares the moral traitors and says he'll just watch TV and he starts watching an itchy and scratchy episode where Scratchy gets walled in.
01:38:53
Speaker
He gets cask of a Montiardo! Yeah, I have list i've learned so much about Edgar Allan Poe recently that I have to avoid going on an insane tangent because he's so fucking fascinating.
01:39:05
Speaker
i'm just I'm just here for a good cask of Amontillado bit, really. Aren't we all? Eventually, old Scratchy is saved by the telepathic Ichis, which eventually bring him out to the arena and chop him to death with knives. Poor fucking Ichi, man.
01:39:18
Speaker
Or Scratchy, I mean. I'm just happy that this is now is going to be his summer, but it's ruined because Christie is off for the summer and he's going to put on Classic Christie. And we then see that Classic Christie is very different because it's just Christie talking to the talking trade regulations with businessmen. So with so very odd. With George Meany, I didn't even check see if this is a real guy, but... I'm assuming it must be.
01:39:42
Speaker
who was an American labor union administrator for 57 years. yep No, that's that is a dude. That is a real dude. We've got to Homer deciding to go for an early morning swim and he jumps in and he's covered in algae, which he acts like it's a blob and tells Lisa enough to get in the water because the blob will get there too. Lisa points out that he needs to put chlorine in the water and Homer has a moment to think about this. then we see that he's put too much chlorine in the water.
01:40:06
Speaker
I don't know why, but the line chlorine-ay one of those ones that just lives in my brain. Like, anytime anything in my life involves chlorine, my brain will just go chlorine-ay.
01:40:20
Speaker
we then see that Milhouse is doing blonde and Ralph's face is on fire. Yep, yes, it bleaches people. This is great. Yep, love it. And, that Some sort board game, yeah.
01:40:34
Speaker
i said they should spend more time i me because it's becoming isolated and weird and see that bos are playing with the pieces of where the bombs are and some sort of board game yeah Lisa comes in and Bart will let her turn on the light and Lisa then realises he's writing a play and starts reading about ah the cast of characters which include Viceroy Fizzlewodham, her hearty churub of a man.
01:40:55
Speaker
But
Marge & Homer's Alone Time
01:40:56
Speaker
Bart says it's a work in progress and Bart asks her how she likes being popular and Lisa plays off as no big deal but then gets very excited about the whole thing. It turns out that Lisa has bought a telescope that she won at the Optics Festival. Bart is upset that he was not invited to the Optics Festival in a sense of no way.
01:41:12
Speaker
But he starts reading a mad magazine about the lighter side of hippies and goes, they don't care what toes they step on. Sure. I don't get this. I kind of get it in because i have my brother used to collect mad magazines and I get the like ethos around mad magazine, of but it yeah, it's not particularly funny.
01:41:32
Speaker
The magazine or the joke. The joke, yeah. We then cut to Marge and Homer skinny dipping in the pool and... Being little freaks?
01:41:42
Speaker
Yeah. Marge, as established, is a little freak. Yeah. Homer's about to nibble on her elbow until the police lights come on. And it turns out that Wiggum is just watching and tells them to not be alarmed and continue swimming naked. Continue swimming naked.
01:41:57
Speaker
Simpsons Archive pegs this as a reference to blue sky, whatever it is, but I'm not familiar with it. Probably not the social media network. yeah That would be Simpsons being very prescient.
01:42:07
Speaker
Yeah, so i I'm on the um'm um i' on social media. It's mostly about people swimming naked for some reason. That's why I'm on there. My algorithm's fucked up, man. Mine is. For different reasons.
01:42:23
Speaker
Wiggum's upset that they won't continue to swim naked and tells Lute open fire. Continue. Continue. All right, open fire. So, an episode of Star Trek opens, but it turns out that this is just a Bart looking for his telescope and says that space is boring.
01:42:38
Speaker
Yeah. After displaying like an incredible display of like UFOs and shooting stars and everything. So Bart declares that he's going to use a telescope to look into Springfield's seamy underbelly. So he immediately looks at the school and Skinner is just sharpening pencils.
01:42:52
Speaker
And he looks at Dr. Hippolyte's watching TV on his Stairmaster. No, it's on a Peloton. like Yeah, it's like an exercise bike kind of thing. i was going to say, it wouldn't be a Peloton, that's a brand. It does have like the moving... it looks looking at the picture it looks like it's got the moving handlebars, it's kind of more of like a crossfitty kind of thing I guess maybe? Oh.
01:43:10
Speaker
I don't know. so Some sort of exercise jobby. Well it looks through and he then sees Jimmy Stewart staring back at him and Jimmy Stewart wants for his wife to come look at these. Oh, is that who that was? Yeah, that's what it was. Yeah, this this whole thing is like Hitchcock's rear window kind of bit. Oh, okay.
01:43:28
Speaker
So Bart says he's not going to see anything interesting, but then he hears a woman scream that came from Flanders' house, and Bart starts trying to reassemble the telescope, but gives up, but then he hears again and then gets it frantically out.
01:43:39
Speaker
Flanders is his neighbor. Just use your eyes. I fucking hated this. you Pick anyone other than Ned Flanders. Just have someone a across... um like This bit annoyed me because of just that simple fact.
01:43:53
Speaker
I accept your pedantry, but, like, yeah, no, you are yeah you are right. You could just look out your window and see into into the Flanders window. Landers laments about what he's done and falls down the blinds and Bart says, nah, that's not what it looks like. So he turns on the TV and... Yeah, also, using a telescope doesn't give you the ability to fucking hear.
01:44:11
Speaker
That one does. Yeah, okay. This is a special one from the Optics Festival. My apologies. It's got shotgun mic built into her. I know. Well, he's not impressive 70s Christie, and he falls asleep, but then he's woken up by the sound of digging.
01:44:26
Speaker
He looks through the telescope again and sees that Flanders is digging a grave. And Bart goes, oh, it's got to be some other explanation. And Flanders on cue goes, I wish there was some other explanation, but there isn't. I'm a murderer.
01:44:37
Speaker
But Bart goes, that's not the real Flanders. And which point Ned goes, I'm a murdiddly urdler. I'm murdiddly urdler. If it's not Flanders, he's done his homework. Mm-mm. They go to the next scene of the Rod and Todd asking where their mum is, and Ned says, she's gone with God.
01:44:52
Speaker
And Rod and Todd say, can we go there too? And Ned goes, yep, soon enough. The kids happy, and Bart goes, Bart is shocked that they're going to kill Rod and Todd. Says, that's horrible. In principle. to He's not that bothered. Yeah, well, no one would be.
01:45:05
Speaker
Lisa's now the king of the the queen of the pool, and Nelson's got some change that he found at the bar of the pool, which actually he took from mouth no Ralph. Yeah. Rex wants Lisa to join her on a weekend that in the country where they'll be hunting charades in ever so delightful romantic misunderstandings.
01:45:23
Speaker
we Well done remembering the character's name, Jesus, though. Simpsons Archive has his name. Okay, fine. It's not that hard. So Lisa's brain points out they're only using him for the pool, and Lisa tells her brain to shut up, because she's got friends now.
01:45:38
Speaker
a dirt a dirt Lisa it becomes an idiot and goes, europe love you, your house. At the same time, Martin is having his own pool built and Martin is delighted that his plan is coming to fruition and be he'll be the queen of summertime. I mean, king.
01:45:54
Speaker
This prompts the workmen to look at each other. As you would. Yeah. The plot moves on very quickly here as ah Jimbo it already knows that Martin has his pool and all the kids walk out. This somehow sinks the pool. Yeah, water displacement. All those kids were the only thing keeping the water, like, level at an acceptable level. Without the kids, the water level drops to empty. Yeah, but how did the other kids... How did the last few kids get out?
01:46:18
Speaker
Don't worry about it. They had really long legs. For the bit. It's for the bit. It is just for the bit. This is stupid physics. Lisa panics and says she's got a think of a way to come out, so she goes back into her brain and her brain goes, well, look who came crawling back. Does
Flanders' Innocence Revealed
01:46:32
Speaker
this ever resolve? Isn't she just in the next scene, just out of the pool?
01:46:37
Speaker
Yep. Yeah. ah Yeah, good point. Yeah. huh So Bart tries to point out that Flanders killed his wife and almost points out that He wouldn't because you're such a fox, which gets him Marge's corner.
01:46:50
Speaker
Marge says that she wishes he'd stop spreading bad rumours and how he got Grandpa tired of never. Bart says that was 20 minutes ago. We just see Grandpa walking in the background. Give me in the bath a while. We then cut to the next scene and Lisa says that she's sorry for ignoring Bart, but getting carried away while she was popular. so She's here for him now and Bart says she can make it up by breaking into Flanders' house.
01:47:08
Speaker
Lisa refuses to do this and then Bart says, that's fine. He's going to read two of them a play and which again, we get to see Bart's Cockney accent come out as he goes, keep us for breakfast, Aunt Helga. Yeah, this was weird. And this is enough to get Lisa to to start running away. we then see Lisa's now in Flanders' house and she's going through and she opens the fridge and pulls out a bag that's labelled human head.
01:47:28
Speaker
Bart's horrified until Lisa pushes off the condensation to reveal that it's actually a head of lettuce. shoot a Schumer's farm head of lettuce or something. Yeah, Shuman Farms, yeah. he of but yeah Oh, yes, course, yeah, i have to be Shuman, because, yeah, who human. head Yeah, it it is is the same gag as they did in the first Treehouse Horror, with to to feed 40 humans or whatever. Oh, yes. With the aliens, yeah.
01:47:53
Speaker
Well, it's easy that Flanders is returning, and he's... Internally monologuing police's leave, at least is going upstairs. which point he then sees that Ned's now looking angry in the house, holding an axe. Why he's got an axe, don't worry about it.
01:48:05
Speaker
For axing things? Well, tries to call the police, but gets through to the Springfield Police head Hotline, which doesn't give him very helpful options. Eventually he clicks on the wrong option and he... You have selected Regicide. If you know the name of the king who's being murdered.
01:48:20
Speaker
Press 1. I think that's my... Is the way he announces the the numbers. Press 1. It was just very funny. you You have selected Regicide. It's just a great line as well.
01:48:32
Speaker
Bart decides that he's going to go save Lisa himself and immediately steps into a trash can. Bart says... Bart is determined. He manages to make it down the stairs where he steps into a hose pipe. yep And at this point, Jimmy Stewart realises that Bart is coming and thinks, that sinister looking kid is trying to kill me, but falls out of his wheelchair.
01:48:50
Speaker
Fair enough. Flanders is now singing Mary Had a Little Lamb as Lisa tries to frantically get into the attic. is he singing? We know the ending to this. Why is he singing this so menacingly? For the bit. But why is he singing this so menacingly?
01:49:03
Speaker
I just did. For the innocent misunderstanding of the bit. Yes, there you go. How wise of you. You can sing things menacingly without having done something evil, you know? Do you sing things menacingly as you wander around your house?
01:49:14
Speaker
Constantly. Well, do you know what? I would actually believe you. It keeps the cat in line. So, Lisa's hiding behind a chest as the founders are singing this. Bob manages to get through front door, but he's acquired a a tricycle and a dog now. A dog!
01:49:34
Speaker
That's a really well-animated dog as well. m Flanders says it's time to put you away for good and uh Barton leaves screen but Flanders is just putting his axe back into his axe holder He's putting it away, he's putting away the axe What does it say on the axe holder? Like the axe shelf? Only you can present accidents But that's it, yes, hilarious As Flanders wonders what's going on, Bart declares that he's here to stop him from murdering Lisa like he did his wife.
01:49:59
Speaker
This bumps Flanders to fate. He faints! It's then revealed that Maud is actually alive and she's just been in the country. And she's actually... When Flanders says she was with God, he was actually at Bible Clamp learning how to be judgmental. Learning how to be more judgmental. That was great. At which point Bart inquires about the corpse and being buried in the back garden. Ned finally reveals that he over-watered Maud's flavour ficus plant and buried the remains as he was intending to replace it. Yeah, I think the axe is implied to be that that's where he went with Rod and Todd was to get another ficus.
01:50:32
Speaker
But I don't think ficus grow anywhere in America. have no idea what a ficus looks like or how it grows. They're usually like office plants, ficus. I know you can. Oh, okay. Yeah. No, I've seen those before. I wouldn't know what it's called. It's a fucking tree. didn't know that.
01:50:49
Speaker
Oh, sorry. Ficus is a genus of about 850 species of woody trees. So it could be fucking anything. Oh. Yeah, it is just a houseplanty kind of thing. Yeah. This is tree. This is a tree. This tree you might find in a house.
01:51:03
Speaker
that wonders about the woman screaming. ned Flanders can't explain that until the plant is revealed and Flanders screams like a woman. Bob goes, oh, that explains everything. But Homer says it doesn't because there's the missing, after the missing whereabouts of his wife and more points out, she's right there and Homer goes, everything's wrapped up in a little package. And Homer says, you actually meant that. Sorry, it sounded sarcastic. Yeah, I think you missold the guy there. goes, then I see everything is wrapped up in a neat little package. Yeah, yeah. No, I mean it. He was being very sarcastic.
01:51:34
Speaker
We cut back and Martin's pool is overflowing with kids and Martin's gone full dictator mode as he's going, more friends, more allies. There's some room over there. We then see that the pool is too full and it completely falls apart and Martin laments about his precious pool and its lifestyle accrued to me.
01:51:52
Speaker
Everyone finally leaves and Nelson rips off Martin's bathing suit. And Martin just goes, oh, the gentle caress of the summer breeze. The summer wind came blurted from across the sea. Yeah, mine keeps start singing as we get the slow phrase up. Mine has made no attempt to cover up his cock and balls.
01:52:12
Speaker
His arse is just he yeah he just... We do not see the cock and balls, for clarity. I know, but... I'm just pointing out if you found yourself naked. Yeah, no, he's just enjoying bit of light back garden nudism. He's just in the rundy-duddy, as you do. As we all do.
01:52:27
Speaker
I submit to you, if you go outside to your garden with no clothes on and just stand there, you will eventually be arrested. You
Episode Conclusion & Themes Reflection
01:52:35
Speaker
can't say what I can and can't do in my garden.
01:52:38
Speaker
I don't like being nude.
01:52:42
Speaker
Well, you're strange. am. Clothes are burden. i I've learned this. So many people I know ah just like nude in their house all the time. just like hanging out on the like chilling at the computer, playing games in the nude. i'm like, what the fuck? I genuinely, if I've worn my sweatpants for too long in the day, i start to feel weird and have to put on like jeans.
01:53:05
Speaker
I like wearing clothes. I feel like being nude is weird. i like I mean, I like wearing clothes in the sense of, like, I like being stylish, but also clothes are a burden. No, man.
01:53:17
Speaker
Clothes nice. I'm making a mental note never to sit on anything in Jon's house. Yeah, exactly. Put a towel down before you sit down, man.
01:53:27
Speaker
yeah That's the episode, folks. What did we think?
'Bart of Darkness' Opinions
01:53:31
Speaker
It's all right. It's fine. I had six notes, seven notes for this fucking episode. It was fine.
01:53:38
Speaker
Most forgettable episode. But again, weirdly one of those ones that stuck in my mind for a long time. It's got a lot of very memorable lines from it. Like, yeah for for for an episode, it has, like, honestly a weird number of thing of lines that specifically stick stick in my head in, like, a completely context-devoid ways. like as Like, I remember things like chlorine, eh? I couldn't have told you where that was from. I just remember Homer going, chlorine, eh? Yeah, the the bit of Homer jumping in the pool and getting covered in sludge, and then the kids in the chlorine pool live, like, rent-free in my head.
01:54:14
Speaker
for years. But yeah, no, like, it's a very silly episode. this This falls into a very similar category, I think, for me, as ah the the casino one, Springfield, How I Love to Learn to Love Gambling, etc. blah, blah, blah. bar In that they had they had an idea for a theme, but not much of a plot. So it's just bits. yeah It's just thematic bits. This is just 20 minutes of swimming pool japes.
01:54:44
Speaker
Yeah, nah, I think that's pretty fair. that This fuck all here is just swimming pool gags. Yes. so That's all it is. Michael, what did you think? Yeah, there's a few good moments. I don't mind it as an episode at all, but I don't think it's classic by any means. I think our thoughts on this episode are summed up by the fact that it is we still have just about managed time.
01:55:04
Speaker
ah you You smashed through this at breakneck pace. Nothing fucking happens, man. I think he described it perfectly. Oh, he did. But yeah, like ah in an astonishingly rapid pace for for us. I think because, again, neither neither of it none of us had anything to say about it.
01:55:23
Speaker
So it it was just 10 minutes of Michael summing up an episode. Look, if you obviously go slower next time, I will. i'm i'm happy I'm happy with good pace. Like, it's fine. Like, who gave us time to talk about season five? I always want you to go at the pace you want to go, Michael. I want you to have fun as well. I want you to feel good throughout this. It's not just about me and my pleasure. It's about yours as well.
01:55:46
Speaker
Okay, get a room. And I thought the Doctor's hand on my arse was going to be the most intimate thing that was going to happen to me this week. So out of homers... Michael, do you want to go first?
01:56:01
Speaker
Yes, I'm going to give it gentle caress of a summer's breeze on my ballsack. It's pleasant enough, but I'll feel self-conscious after a while.
01:56:12
Speaker
I'm giving it a male character doing a girly scream out of homer. Mildly amusing. I gave it a popular Lisa out of Homer because it was pretty stupid. enough What did they have to say i imagine this inp popular makes you stupid I imagine there was some cleverness behind the crusty bits, but I'm too young and not American to understand them. do You reckon? But beyond that, people are fickle and popularity is fleeting. i don't think this was one that was trying to say anything about society.
01:56:39
Speaker
No, no, like,
Podcast Wrap-Up & Projects
01:56:40
Speaker
I think like that, as I said, that that bit about linking popularity with stupidity felt like there was some sort of observation in there, and, like, you kind of sign to sort of see it with, like, your... Definitely with your reality TV, like, oh the the hot, attractive one that everybody loves, and they're always, like, you know, thick as pig shit. I think it was kind of trying to, like, evoke childhood nostalgia, like, of Americans, like, being a...
01:57:04
Speaker
outdoor pools and stuff like that i i think it was less about what it says about society and more just our youth yeah quite possibly indeed definitely mostly a a as a more vehicle for pool riffs and for some reason a lot of rear window shit somebody was like what if we did an episode that was like heavily inspired by rear window which is now a movie that i'm like oh shit should i watch that we have lot movies we should watch Yeah, but I'm watching a lot of movies these days, so, like, that's fine. I can fit it i can fit it in somewhere.
01:57:35
Speaker
Saucy. At the risk of saving Matt the Bladder, shall we wrap this up? Yeah, wrap it up. to Sell some shit and then go pee. New episode of All for Arnold came out! We discuss Predator! Yay! I made the deadline. Everyone can lick my balls. So that means I have another three episodes after this one to get a...
01:57:57
Speaker
another episode of all for round it out where we'll be talking about running man and we might also we said we do it in the episode but that we might also watch the new running man film that just came out as well to sort of not to like directly compare but just to talk about so hopefully for that me and john have talked about it briefly we're probably going stick to mostly just me and john from now on not because having guests is like bad it's it's more just for keeping it consistent and that was always what i kind of envisioned the show to be is just me and john having a conversation it's very similar to this show basically it's just i like it being conversational and chill whereas you know having a guest i still want to be on batman versus robin feel like i have about 12 people that want to be on for batman and robin so i think that one's just going to be the big extravaganza kind of episode you or you could all fight to the death one the two I prepared to die for it. That's bad.
01:58:51
Speaker
that's i believe in you. But yeah, All for Arnold is out. Go check it out on Spotify. Yeah, i I do like doing it as much as it doesn't seem like it.
01:59:04
Speaker
I'm also on Blue Sky. You can find me. Just try and find me. That's all I'm going say. Just try and find me.
01:59:11
Speaker
You'll be rewarded by finding Matt's posts. Yes, that are mostly inane. Michael. Yep, you can find me on Blue Sky at Bunnamesh Horse. As always, i encourage you to like and subscribe to the podcast. And if you want to check out back versions, we do have those on Spotify, Apple, and limited up to on YouTube.
01:59:32
Speaker
A serious thing for me, I just want to say this because I think it's appropriate. um ah friend of mine that I haven't seen for a while, killed himself at the start of the year and I feel the best way to pay legacy to his thing to anybody that does listen to this podcast who may or may not be struggling I please seek encourage you to seek out help if you need it there are services like the Samaritans and things of that nature please know that if you do feel that way trust me from the social media that I've seen somebody will miss you tremendously and you will and it does ruin people's lives so you're not alone as alone as you think so please do seek help yeah absolutely thank you
02:00:11
Speaker
hu Where could they find you, Jon? Yeah, Jon, you do your silly bit now. You make every, you know. Yeah. That's a hard one to follow. sorry Sorry, I did not mean to put you in that position. I do apologise.
02:00:24
Speaker
ah Follow me on Blue Sky Maroka. Go check out my other YouTube channel, Button Mash, on the YouTubes. ah I am turning over an idea in my head about making a YouTube video for Button Mash once again. So maybe at some point in the next couple of months, you might see another video essay-ish thing from me. But at this point, don't necessarily hold your breath. But we'll see how that goes.
02:00:50
Speaker
I believe in you. I don't. do. Well, yeah, I do. So fucking suck it up, you little bitch. Oh, okay. I will. You could have been slightly less aggressive about that. No.
02:01:03
Speaker
All right. Let's let Matt go pee. yeah Bye, everyone. Bye. Bye, of everybody.