Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
123. Stanford Soccer Player Duncan Jarvie
6 Plays7 months ago
In this inspiring episode of "The Sportlight Podcast," we sit down with Stanford Soccer player Duncan Jarvie, a long-time member of the Especially for Athletes (E4A) program. Duncan shares his incredible story of resilience, offering valuable insights for young athletes who have faced the disappointment of being cut from a team or other setbacks in their athletic journey.
Through his experiences, Duncan demonstrates the power of perseverance, determination, and a positive mindset in overcoming challenges and achieving success. This episode is a must-listen for athletes, parents, and coaches looking to encourage growth and resilience both on and off the field.
Key Discussion Points:
- Duncan Jarvie’s personal journey and the challenges he faced as an athlete.
- Lessons learned from the experience of being cut from a team.
- How the principles of E4A helped Duncan persevere and find success.
- Advice for athletes navigating setbacks and striving for improvement.
- Encouragement for parents and coaches to support athletes through tough times.
Join us for an uplifting and motivational conversation that reminds us all of the strength it takes to rise above adversity and keep pushing forward.
Especially for Athletes:
Website: https://especialyforathletes.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EspeciallyForAthletes/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/E4Afamily
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/especiallyforathletes/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmbWc7diAvstLMfjBL-bMMQ
Join the conversation using #TheSportlightPodcast
Credits:
Hosted by Shad Martin
Produced by IMAGINATE STUDIO
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Support the show: https://especiallyforathletes.com/podcast/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Duncan Jarvie and E4A Principles
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey, what's up everybody on this week's podcast.
00:00:02
Speaker
We speak with current Stanford Cardinals soccer player, Duncan Jarvie.
00:00:06
Speaker
He's a longtime member of especially for athletes.
00:00:09
Speaker
He talks about a story of resilience when he got cut from a team and how he responded and how it's led him to where he is today.
00:00:17
Speaker
We also talk about the E4A principles and how they have helped shape him throughout his soccer career.
00:00:23
Speaker
It's a great discussion.
00:00:25
Speaker
We hope you enjoy it.
00:00:26
Speaker
Welcome to the sport light podcast for parents, coaches, and athletes.
00:00:30
Speaker
The sport light refers to the time in an athlete's life when they have increased ability to affect the culture around them and the increased opportunity to learn life's lessons through sports.
00:00:40
Speaker
This podcast aims to help parents and coaches capitalize on their athletes precious time in a sport light.
00:00:45
Speaker
The sport light podcast is brought to you by especially for athletes program.
00:00:54
Speaker
Well, everybody, we're excited to have Duncan Jarvie on the Sportlight Podcast.
00:00:58
Speaker
We met Duncan, gosh, Duncan, how many years ago was that, that we were down in Mesquite at ODP down there?
00:01:07
Speaker
Have you put that together?
00:01:08
Speaker
How old were you?
00:01:09
Speaker
I don't know.
00:01:10
Speaker
Around 10 years old, probably.
00:01:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:01:12
Speaker
Years ago, this is just a young, young kid.
00:01:16
Speaker
Every year we go down to Mesquite and we meet with the boys and the girls from Utah that are being considered for the Olympic development program team down there for Utah youth soccer.
00:01:26
Speaker
And Duncan was down there and that's where we came in contact with
Journey to Stanford and Conference Play
00:01:30
Speaker
him.
00:01:30
Speaker
We're going to talk a little bit about what happened down there and such a cool story.
00:01:34
Speaker
But right now you're in your sophomore year at Stanford University.
00:01:38
Speaker
The number two ranked team in the country for men's soccer.
00:01:44
Speaker
That's pretty sweet.
00:01:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:01:46
Speaker
Yeah, that's awesome.
00:01:48
Speaker
And so tell me though, I'm really curious, what's school like at Stanford University?
00:01:53
Speaker
Is it pretty legit, pretty hard?
00:01:56
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, it really is what you make of it depends on your major, I guess.
00:02:01
Speaker
So far, it hasn't been like too difficult for me.
00:02:04
Speaker
But it's probably just the classes that I'm taking.
00:02:06
Speaker
I'm, you know, I'm probably taking an easy route with classes.
00:02:11
Speaker
I don't know.
00:02:12
Speaker
But no, it's been good.
00:02:14
Speaker
Yeah, it's nothing too hard.
00:02:16
Speaker
And what's it like being in the ACC?
00:02:17
Speaker
So last year you played in the Pac-12, right?
00:02:20
Speaker
And then this year, ACC, what's that been like?
00:02:22
Speaker
Traveling all the way across the country and people were worried about these sports like soccer and baseball and stuff traveling all over.
Resilience: Overcoming Early Setbacks
00:02:30
Speaker
What's your experience been like so far?
00:02:33
Speaker
No, it's been awesome.
00:02:34
Speaker
It's been really fun to play some of these new teams, you know, like ACC for soccer is the best conference that there is.
00:02:43
Speaker
Yeah, it's been awesome.
00:02:44
Speaker
I mean, travel is just, it is what it is.
00:02:47
Speaker
Our travel trips are longer now.
00:02:49
Speaker
So instead of like a three day away trip, it's just extended by one more day.
00:02:52
Speaker
So we're on the road a bit more, but yeah, it's been great.
00:02:55
Speaker
Yeah, that's cool.
00:02:56
Speaker
So, so the ACC, I'm not super familiar with the soccer landscape, but the ACC is kind of where it's at with soccer, huh?
00:03:05
Speaker
Yeah, it's where it's at.
00:03:06
Speaker
It's the best, I think.
00:03:08
Speaker
So sweet.
00:03:09
Speaker
Who's ranked number one right now?
00:03:12
Speaker
Um,
00:03:14
Speaker
I think it was a pit recently, but, um, Pittsburgh, they just lost actually to high point and upset.
00:03:21
Speaker
So, um, that might be us now.
00:03:23
Speaker
I'm not sure.
00:03:24
Speaker
I guess that'd be good.
00:03:26
Speaker
Well, then let me change this promo.
00:03:28
Speaker
The number one, no, I'm just kidding.
00:03:31
Speaker
Number one, right.
00:03:32
Speaker
To the country.
00:03:33
Speaker
Awesome, man.
00:03:34
Speaker
That's great.
00:03:35
Speaker
You you're a striker for, for the Cardinal there.
00:03:39
Speaker
And, and, uh,
00:03:41
Speaker
Really, really cool stuff.
00:03:42
Speaker
Well, I want to start, Duncan, you know where I'm going to start because I told you before, but I've told your story probably a thousand times to kids.
00:03:53
Speaker
And every time I go down to ODP, but also when we talk about resilience and responding to failure in the right way.
00:04:00
Speaker
So let's take you back.
00:04:02
Speaker
You're 10 years old.
00:04:04
Speaker
This ODP, you go down to Mesquite.
00:04:07
Speaker
You play in all these tournaments to set it up for people who aren't familiar with what this is.
00:04:11
Speaker
You kind of do these workouts with coaches and everything like that for a weekend.
00:04:16
Speaker
And that's where they bring us down to do leadership training and to talk about the things that we talk about, and especially for athletes with the young people there.
00:04:23
Speaker
We have a great partnership with Utah Youth Soccer.
00:04:27
Speaker
But at the end of that, at the end of those experiences down there, they send out an email letting you know who has made the travel team, like the team that's going to go out and compete and represent Utah in each age group.
00:04:41
Speaker
And so you're around 10 years old.
00:04:45
Speaker
It's the Sunday you get home, you sit down, they send out the list.
00:04:49
Speaker
And what did you not see on the list?
00:04:52
Speaker
I guess is the way to say it.
00:04:55
Speaker
Tell us about that experience.
00:04:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:04:58
Speaker
So it was Sunday.
00:05:00
Speaker
I was at church with my family.
00:05:02
Speaker
I heard that the list came out.
00:05:03
Speaker
So I was like, oh, I got to run home.
00:05:05
Speaker
So I rushed home, checked the list.
00:05:08
Speaker
I was super nervous.
00:05:09
Speaker
And then I pulled it up and I did not see my name on there.
00:05:13
Speaker
And
00:05:13
Speaker
I was devastated.
00:05:14
Speaker
I was young.
00:05:15
Speaker
I really wanted to go down and travel with the team and make the team like it was really important to me at the time.
00:05:21
Speaker
And yeah, it was just kind of devastating, I guess.
00:05:24
Speaker
Yeah, which is one of the coolest things about sports, right?
00:05:27
Speaker
And I know we don't love those moments, but it gives us opportunities to learn to respond to the devastation that comes with sports and
00:05:36
Speaker
But here's what I share with all the athletes when we talk about resilience and responding to failure.
00:05:42
Speaker
So you failed to make the team.
00:05:44
Speaker
Obviously, no one would look at you as a 10-year-old kid and be like, what a complete failure.
00:05:47
Speaker
That's not what we're saying.
00:05:49
Speaker
But for you, it must have felt like you failed to make the team.
00:05:54
Speaker
So here you are, and you're left with a choice.
00:05:57
Speaker
And we had just talked about being resilient, responding the right way, doing the work, all that stuff.
00:06:02
Speaker
And your response to reading that email is one of the coolest responses I've ever heard and like super mature for a 10, 11 year old kid, whatever you were at that time.
00:06:13
Speaker
I might have been 12 or I don't even know.
00:06:15
Speaker
I remember that far back.
00:06:17
Speaker
Well, who cares?
00:06:18
Speaker
Who cares?
00:06:19
Speaker
Your response was
Sacrifices and Passion in Sports
00:06:20
Speaker
awesome.
00:06:20
Speaker
So you go grab a snow shovel and tell us what you did.
00:06:25
Speaker
Yeah, so it was winter.
00:06:28
Speaker
The whole backyard was all covered in snow.
00:06:30
Speaker
And then I just went straight outside and started getting to work, training, doing like foot drills and, you know, just working hard.
00:06:40
Speaker
It probably was nice to blow off a little steam to, you know, get out there.
00:06:44
Speaker
But yeah, it was work like it was important to me.
00:06:46
Speaker
I wanted it.
00:06:48
Speaker
I always wanted to play professional soccer.
00:06:49
Speaker
And so, yeah, I just had I just thought I got to get back to work.
00:06:54
Speaker
That's great.
00:06:55
Speaker
So no pouting.
00:06:58
Speaker
Not much pouting.
00:06:58
Speaker
For a little bit.
00:07:00
Speaker
There were probably some tears and probably some anger.
00:07:06
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:06
Speaker
But you let that anger fuel your work ethic.
00:07:09
Speaker
That's what we always talk about.
00:07:10
Speaker
Resilient responses are when the anger, the frustration, the disappointment fuel your work ethic.
00:07:17
Speaker
The other thing, the other way you could have responded is blaming it on coaches, talking about them favoring people, talking about all these things.
00:07:25
Speaker
And even if you felt all of that, if you stay stuck in that, and I'm not saying you did or blamed anyone or whatever, but if you stay stuck in that, you don't go anywhere.
00:07:36
Speaker
But you choose to go out, literally shovel away some snow, and you start doing drills right there.
00:07:44
Speaker
And I'm sure that that attitude has led you to where you are today.
00:07:47
Speaker
You know, and I know we've done this in a podcast.
00:07:49
Speaker
I did it with you when you were a young teenager before, probably when you had just signed with Stanford.
00:07:54
Speaker
But I think that's a really cool story to refresh, to let people know kind of who we're talking about here and who we're talking to.
00:08:02
Speaker
And so now you went through...
00:08:06
Speaker
you know, high school club.
00:08:08
Speaker
Now you're at Stanford,
Life as a Division I Athlete
00:08:10
Speaker
learning the lessons there at Stanford.
00:08:12
Speaker
And I would love to pick your brain about just some of the E4A principles.
00:08:18
Speaker
And let me hit you with this first question.
00:08:20
Speaker
Okay.
00:08:22
Speaker
What have you learned about the price of success in your own journey?
00:08:28
Speaker
That there's a lot of sacrifice in
00:08:32
Speaker
to be made when you want to reach major goals or major achievements, I guess.
00:08:40
Speaker
I'd also say that it's really not a sacrifice if you really want something.
00:08:45
Speaker
It's just something that you, you know...
00:08:49
Speaker
decide between if you have two decisions, like if you have the option to, you know, go put extra work in or just like commit to something rather than go party or goof off with your friends, I guess, I guess, um,
00:09:03
Speaker
most people would look at it as a sacrifice.
00:09:05
Speaker
You know, I'm not going to go out to that party or I'm not going to go do that.
00:09:08
Speaker
Fun thing, I'm going to stay in train or something.
00:09:11
Speaker
But no, I think when it's, when you have big goals and aspirations, I don't think it's much of a sacrifice.
00:09:16
Speaker
So I don't know.
00:09:17
Speaker
I mean, I think for some people there's a price for success.
00:09:22
Speaker
But I think if you really love what you're doing, I think it's not much of a price.
00:09:27
Speaker
It's kind of like you love doing it already.
00:09:29
Speaker
So you're lucky that you get to train every day.
00:09:32
Speaker
You're lucky that you get to work hard and push yourself.
00:09:34
Speaker
Yeah, I get it.
00:09:36
Speaker
I get it.
00:09:36
Speaker
I love sports so much that it never felt like I was sacrificing.
00:09:40
Speaker
In fact, I felt like I was sacrificing when I wasn't playing sports.
00:09:45
Speaker
There's probably a great lesson in that, that you find something that you're willing, that it doesn't feel like a sacrifice to work hard at.
00:09:52
Speaker
You're probably in the right lane, right?
00:09:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:56
Speaker
Yeah, keep going.
00:09:56
Speaker
You were going to say something else.
00:09:58
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, besides that, I just would say, like, I mean, sometimes it is hard to, like, choose to work or train over, you know, chilling at the house or with your family or friends.
00:10:12
Speaker
Like, I mean, you always want to be – you always want to have a little bit of that.
00:10:16
Speaker
And comfort, time away from family, I guess, is another one that –
00:10:21
Speaker
You would have to, I guess, so-called sacrifice if you want to use that.
00:10:25
Speaker
Yeah, I think just kind of that.
00:10:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:29
Speaker
So tell me, a Division I soccer player at the number two, maybe number one now team in the country, what does a typical day look like for a Division I soccer player?
00:10:41
Speaker
Describe your day for us.
00:10:45
Speaker
It's not very glamorous, I'd say, unless you love the sport.
00:10:50
Speaker
Usually wake up around probably like 7 to 8.
00:10:54
Speaker
Usually class starts at 9 or 10.30, depending on the day.
00:10:58
Speaker
A couple classes before training.
00:11:00
Speaker
Training, we usually train around 2.
00:11:02
Speaker
And then...
00:11:06
Speaker
Yeah, after training, we're kind of free the rest of the day.
00:11:09
Speaker
So training block is like two to five, probably.
00:11:12
Speaker
And then afterwards, maybe get some more studying and maybe some recovery.
00:11:16
Speaker
And then dinner and then you're back at your dorm, maybe getting some more homework and studying and then bed.
00:11:25
Speaker
So it's kind of.
00:11:27
Speaker
I love it.
00:11:28
Speaker
I mean, a lot of the guys love it, but it can get repetitive at times.
00:11:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:11:34
Speaker
So tell me this.
00:11:35
Speaker
We're trying to talk with athletes about this more and more.
00:11:39
Speaker
How important is getting sleep?
00:11:42
Speaker
To you, it's super important to me, especially like I go to bed at like nine 30, I get tired.
00:11:47
Speaker
So I go to bed at nine 30, probably wake up at like seven 30 and yeah, it's huge, especially the amount of training and work we're doing lifting on top of that.
00:11:58
Speaker
Sometimes we'll have morning lifts, but yeah.
00:12:00
Speaker
And school as well, like that takes a lot of energy as well.
00:12:04
Speaker
So yeah.
00:12:06
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:08
Speaker
We had Daniel summer haze on professional golfer.
00:12:11
Speaker
And he talked about how professional athletes now are realizing that there's supplements.
00:12:16
Speaker
Yeah, there's all these things, but the real superpower is sleep.
00:12:20
Speaker
Like that's what professional athletes right now are prioritizing almost above a lot of the other things is making sure they get that time, that sleep.
Nutrition and Sleep for Success
00:12:30
Speaker
Also, what about eating?
00:12:33
Speaker
Tell me what they teach you all about eating if you're going to be a Division I soccer player.
00:12:40
Speaker
Yeah, well, they really structure it out for us and lay it out pretty clear to what they want us to be doing, meal times, how much of what we should be getting, how much protein, carbs, when, all of the different timing and sorts.
00:12:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:00
Speaker
And so, yeah, you can kind of just model what you want to eat off of that.
00:13:03
Speaker
So, like, I kind of have my go-to, like, breakfast that I have or meal timing before training that helps me perform and feel good.
00:13:12
Speaker
So, yeah, eating is also very important.
00:13:16
Speaker
So let me let you teach maybe someone who has no idea because they're at Stanford, some of the best probably sports nutritionists in the world, right?
00:13:26
Speaker
That help you guys understand these things.
00:13:28
Speaker
And so what's a breakfast for Duncan Jarvie?
00:13:33
Speaker
I really like eggs.
00:13:34
Speaker
So I usually eat like four eggs in the morning, a little bit of fruit, maybe some like sweet potatoes or like a bagel, something like that.
00:13:44
Speaker
And then maybe some yogurt if I'm still feeling hungry, like some Greek yogurt or something like that.
00:13:50
Speaker
Awesome.
00:13:50
Speaker
What do they have you guys eat?
00:13:52
Speaker
You said protein.
00:13:53
Speaker
So tell me, like when you're at the training table and they're feeding you guys, what are they loading you full of?
00:13:58
Speaker
Like, what are some of the examples of things you've seen they're feeding you off?
00:14:04
Speaker
Yeah, so we're super lucky to have like athlete-specific dining here.
00:14:10
Speaker
And so they have like all sorts of food.
00:14:12
Speaker
Like it's actually crazy.
00:14:14
Speaker
Tonight was just like Mexican taco Tuesday.
00:14:17
Speaker
And so they got like carnitas.
00:14:19
Speaker
They have chicken, a whole bunch of different Mexican food.
00:14:22
Speaker
And then they have another section of just like –
00:14:25
Speaker
everyday food that's there every day, like salmon, you have grilled chicken, like different types of rice, potatoes, all that good stuff.
00:14:33
Speaker
So yeah, it's all just good food that's going to help you perform and, you know, feel good.
00:14:39
Speaker
And when you started like eating in that such a structured way, did you, cause it's harder, right?
00:14:44
Speaker
Sometimes it's harder as a young person to do that, but did you feel like performance and your performance and your body and all those things?
00:14:50
Speaker
Yeah, totally.
00:14:52
Speaker
For sure.
00:14:52
Speaker
Yeah.
00:14:53
Speaker
It's also super easy here to overeat because the food that they have is like incredible.
00:14:58
Speaker
So you're not going to go hungry here.
00:15:01
Speaker
That's for sure.
00:15:03
Speaker
Um,
00:15:04
Speaker
Yeah, it's, but yeah, no.
00:15:06
Speaker
Once, once I started really like getting down with my diet and eating the right foods, it makes such a difference.
00:15:13
Speaker
You just feel so much better.
00:15:16
Speaker
Awesome.
00:15:17
Speaker
Now we have a principle you've heard us teach it as you've grown up through ODP and stuff called win the hour, which is,
00:15:24
Speaker
Like deciding where you're going to put your energy each day, right?
00:15:27
Speaker
There's if everything's a priority, nothing's a priority.
00:15:30
Speaker
And you have to learn when you're in a moment to be in that moment.
00:15:34
Speaker
Now you're at Stanford, one of the
00:15:37
Speaker
You've already talked a little bit about the academic rigor there at Stanford.
00:15:42
Speaker
It's a pretty difficult college, has a reputation for being very high academic standards.
00:15:48
Speaker
I imagine that you have had to really learn how to put the most important things first, and we've already talked about that a little earlier.
00:16:00
Speaker
But what have you learned in that tough academic environment about what it takes to succeed in school and be an athlete at the same time?
00:16:10
Speaker
No, I mean, I've learned to really prioritize my time and the important things and not procrastinate.
00:16:16
Speaker
Before coming into Stanford, I was a huge procrastinator.
00:16:20
Speaker
Like I never did my schoolwork on time.
00:16:24
Speaker
I was just kind of saving it all till Sunday night,
00:16:27
Speaker
Before it was due.
00:16:29
Speaker
But yeah, once I got here, it's like we're on the road traveling, training more.
00:16:34
Speaker
There's more lifts.
00:16:35
Speaker
There's more things that you have to be on top of.
00:16:37
Speaker
So it forces you to really get on top of your schoolwork.
00:16:42
Speaker
But yeah, I really like the saying, win the hour, because...
00:16:45
Speaker
it really like for me, like when I've implemented that into my life, it's like you're, you focus on one thing at a time.
00:16:53
Speaker
And once this thing's done, then you move on to the next, you know, it's not, it's good to not be thinking, Oh, what's next, you know, like focus on what you have, what you got to do now.
00:17:05
Speaker
And I think that's helped me with my schoolwork and the soccer, just being present.
00:17:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:10
Speaker
That's awesome.
00:17:10
Speaker
So tell me a little bit more about that.
00:17:12
Speaker
You said it's,
00:17:13
Speaker
You said it's helped you to be present.
00:17:16
Speaker
That concept of when the hour, like what impact have you seen that having on
Mindfulness and Mental Focus
00:17:20
Speaker
you?
00:17:20
Speaker
Emotional well-being, like stress, all that stuff.
00:17:23
Speaker
What does when the hour do for you?
00:17:27
Speaker
I mean, like I said, just makes you be in the present and focus on the present.
00:17:31
Speaker
And so I think a lot of unnecessary stress and worries come from thinking about the future, like, you know, your upcoming tasks that you have to do, your assignments, all that.
00:17:44
Speaker
And I think when the hour really makes you center in and just focus on, you know, what, what I have going on right now and how can I,
00:17:55
Speaker
do what I'm doing right now to the best of my ability to ultimately win and win, win the hour.
00:18:00
Speaker
So, yeah, that's cool.
00:18:02
Speaker
It does simplify things for me, but it's not easy to do.
00:18:06
Speaker
Right.
00:18:06
Speaker
But, but when we can say, Hey, what, what do I need to give my time and energy to right now?
00:18:12
Speaker
And then we just say, I'm going to block out everything else.
00:18:14
Speaker
I can't control any of that anyways.
00:18:16
Speaker
I'm in this moment and I'm going to give everything.
00:18:19
Speaker
It just seems to simplify life, turn down the volume in your head.
00:18:23
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:23
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:25
Speaker
It's so simple that it's like hard to do.
00:18:29
Speaker
It's hard to stay present for a lot of people because your mind's got a million things going in and out.
00:18:35
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:35
Speaker
So how do you do that?
00:18:36
Speaker
Like what goes on in the mind, in your mind, when you're starting to stay present in a moment, what do you tell yourself?
00:18:41
Speaker
Like, how do you bring it back to what's currently going on?
00:18:44
Speaker
I think for me, it's just taking some couple deep breaths, like just breathing, I think really helps me.
00:18:50
Speaker
I like to do like mindfulness, just like little meditation throughout the day.
00:18:55
Speaker
Like, I think that helps a lot.
00:18:56
Speaker
But those are the main things.
00:18:58
Speaker
I mean, just really just look at your surroundings, just fill your feet on the ground, I guess.
00:19:05
Speaker
Yeah, that's awesome.
00:19:06
Speaker
Do they train you guys in like mindfulness and stuff like that?
00:19:09
Speaker
Do you ever have sports psychology people working with you?
00:19:12
Speaker
Yeah, we have a sports psychologist who comes and talks to the team and then we can like come and meet with them whenever we want to schedule an appointment.
Building Resilience Through Sports
00:19:22
Speaker
Yeah, that's cool.
00:19:23
Speaker
And they talk about stuff like mindfulness, being where your feet are, feet on the ground.
00:19:28
Speaker
Is that stuff that those conversations?
00:19:30
Speaker
Yeah, that is, that has been some of the stuff that I've learned from those conversations.
00:19:36
Speaker
Yeah, they're really great.
00:19:37
Speaker
It's really great resource.
00:19:39
Speaker
Let's go.
00:19:39
Speaker
I like that.
00:19:40
Speaker
Feel your feet on the ground.
00:19:41
Speaker
What does that mean to you?
00:19:42
Speaker
Like when you hear context of them trading on that, like you said, feel your feet on the ground.
00:19:48
Speaker
I would love to know like what that is in your head.
00:19:52
Speaker
I mean, just get grounded, you know, don't be up in the, up here.
00:19:57
Speaker
Like don't be in your head, you know, get out, get outside of yourself and just like, I don't know, just be where you are.
00:20:05
Speaker
Just, you know,
00:20:08
Speaker
Yeah, that's cool.
00:20:09
Speaker
That's a cool way to say it.
00:20:10
Speaker
I just haven't heard it said like that.
00:20:11
Speaker
So it's really, I love these little phrases that come to mind where we hear what you guys share with us, like, just feel your feet on the ground, you know, that that's probably something we'll repeat again, you know, and say, Oh, yeah, Duncan Jarvie, Stanford said, feel your feet on the ground, you got to be where you are be present.
00:20:30
Speaker
That's that's awesome.
00:20:32
Speaker
So we talked a little bit about your story and resilience and how sports helps build resilience.
00:20:39
Speaker
As you look at kind of back over your sports career and now even where you currently are, you know, when you're playing on the number two team in the country, there's a lot of people competing for a limited number of positions and everything.
00:20:50
Speaker
There's ups and downs and disappointments and successes.
00:20:54
Speaker
And how has sports helped you to build resilience in your life?
00:21:01
Speaker
It's helped me a huge amount for sure.
00:21:04
Speaker
Just, you know, whenever you switch teams, like a big thing for me is it's tough to break into the lineup and it's tough to break in to start getting minutes at first.
00:21:15
Speaker
Like previously when I went and moved out to Colorado to play academy soccer, I was in a position where, you know, I wasn't coming in and just a starter right away.
00:21:23
Speaker
I had to work up for that.
00:21:25
Speaker
And then after that, when I went on to play with Real Monarchs, Real Salt Lake second team, it's the same thing.
00:21:32
Speaker
It's like I came in, you know, I'm like 18 years old.
00:21:36
Speaker
Like these other guys are professionals are ahead of me.
00:21:41
Speaker
I want to be playing, but I just, I realized like, you know, I'm not going to be playing very much.
00:21:47
Speaker
So yeah.
00:21:49
Speaker
It just makes you really just focus on what you have in front of you and just work on your craft, do whatever you can to get better.
00:22:00
Speaker
But yeah, it forces you to be resilient because you obviously want something that you don't have right now.
00:22:06
Speaker
I felt that in baseball, not soccer.
00:22:08
Speaker
When you're in Little League, I don't remember a lot of opportunities to display resilience in Little League.
00:22:14
Speaker
But, you know, high school, you come out as a young player and it's,
00:22:20
Speaker
you know, difficult people are bigger, faster, stronger, and then you kind of get up there and, and you work your way into that.
00:22:27
Speaker
And then you move to the next level.
00:22:28
Speaker
And in college, you have to bust your way in again.
00:22:30
Speaker
And so it gives you that opportunity over and over again to, to be resilient.
00:22:36
Speaker
So as you look at like life academics, your future and everything like that, do you see the resilience you've built in sports translating?
The Ethics of Competition
00:22:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:46
Speaker
to life?
00:22:48
Speaker
And if so, how?
00:22:49
Speaker
Like, how do you see resilience that you've built in sports translating to your future life?
00:22:56
Speaker
Yeah, no, it's totally translated for sure.
00:23:00
Speaker
I mean, I think, and I don't know how to really articulate, like, the ways that it has, but it's just for me is like, whatever happens, I feel confident that
00:23:12
Speaker
it'll all work out or that in the end you know everything's going to be fine like don't stress like just don't stress about what you can't control um because it's not worth stressing over that you know control you can control just let life kind of i i don't know i guess it's in some ways like just let go of things and just do what you can do yeah um
00:23:40
Speaker
But yeah, I mean, I've always been super goal oriented and driven.
00:23:43
Speaker
So I kind of have that confidence in myself that I'll eventually get what I want out of whatever situation.
00:23:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:51
Speaker
And if I don't, you know, life moves on.
00:23:54
Speaker
But you're going to make sure you do what you can control to get that, right?
00:24:00
Speaker
It does simplify life and it helps you be resilient when you start putting all of your energy, all of your emotion, everything...
00:24:10
Speaker
toward the controllables in your life instead of staying up and worrying about all the things you can't control or all that time people spend worrying if they spent working or refining themselves like that then that actually helps get to a goal if you spend all your time worrying yeah you're wasting time
00:24:31
Speaker
Yeah, take action, you know, worrying is not going to get you anything.
00:24:35
Speaker
Yeah, that's cool.
00:24:36
Speaker
That's cool.
00:24:38
Speaker
Okay, so here's one for you.
00:24:39
Speaker
We've got so many variety of answers when we ask high level athletes this question.
00:24:45
Speaker
What does it look like?
00:24:48
Speaker
to you for an athlete to compete the right way.
00:24:52
Speaker
Like we have a saying, you've heard us say it, you've heard it since you were a little kid, compete without contempt, compete without hatred.
00:25:00
Speaker
On the soccer field as a division one athlete at one of the best teams, on one of the best teams in the country,
00:25:08
Speaker
What does it look like for a soccer player to compete the right way to come?
00:25:14
Speaker
Yeah, I'll just leave it there because we would compete without contempt, but I don't want to put those words in your mouth.
00:25:20
Speaker
I would love you just to say, here's like, if you're going to compete and be a real, like fierce competitor, tell you do it the right way.
00:25:29
Speaker
What would you say to that?
00:25:31
Speaker
No, I think you have to have a little bit of, you have to have a chip on your shoulder a little bit.
00:25:36
Speaker
I think you got to,
00:25:38
Speaker
really get in there and I guess
00:25:45
Speaker
I don't know.
00:25:47
Speaker
I think compete without contempt is great.
00:25:51
Speaker
You always want to be a good person on the field, I guess.
00:25:56
Speaker
But I think once you're competing at some of the highest levels, you've got to be selfish.
00:26:03
Speaker
It's either you or them, you or the opponent.
00:26:06
Speaker
So sometimes you've got to
00:26:10
Speaker
I guess be more ruthless, mean, use some of your anger to your advantage, I guess.
00:26:18
Speaker
But then at the same time, after the game, you guys are friends.
00:26:24
Speaker
You guys are
00:26:26
Speaker
Okay, I don't know.
00:26:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:29
Speaker
It's a tough one to answer because I think you got to be ruthless and you got to be extremely competitive to the point where, you know, you disregard the other opponent a little bit.
00:26:40
Speaker
But then, yeah, you just, I don't know, you just can't.
00:26:44
Speaker
really take into account, I guess, their feelings or
Leadership and Influence as an Athlete
00:26:51
Speaker
you got to be a little bit ruthless.
00:26:52
Speaker
But then after the game, you got to be a good person again.
00:26:57
Speaker
OK, so let me let me dig into ruthless a little bit because people get to find that a lot, a lot of ways.
00:27:03
Speaker
When does ruthlessness cross the line in sports, do you think?
00:27:08
Speaker
I think to the point of a player's real physical safety, I guess.
00:27:20
Speaker
I would say that's where it would cross the line.
00:27:22
Speaker
I think...
00:27:24
Speaker
compete ruthlessly within the law of the game you know don't do anything that's gonna break a kid's leg or something yeah obviously but i think other than that it's you really just gotta be an animal out there yeah okay so let me ask you another question
00:27:45
Speaker
You could be a ruthless competitor that never, you know, you aren't talking about outside the rules of the game, purposely trying to hurt people, but within the rules of the game, like you don't care about your opponent's feelings.
00:27:59
Speaker
You're not worried about them.
00:28:00
Speaker
In fact, sometimes it's good to demoralize an opponent.
00:28:03
Speaker
It gives you an edge.
00:28:06
Speaker
And so there's that physical part of ruthlessness, appropriate ruthlessness.
00:28:10
Speaker
See, you're giving us all these like really cool phrases here, but like appropriate ruthlessness is awesome.
00:28:17
Speaker
I like that, actually.
00:28:19
Speaker
I like that.
00:28:20
Speaker
We compete.
00:28:22
Speaker
Like when we say compete, even when we write it in our presentations, we capitalize the word compete.
00:28:28
Speaker
We want you to compete, be a fierce competitor, but you don't have to hate your opponent.
00:28:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:36
Speaker
Want to hurt your opponent to compete.
00:28:40
Speaker
Right.
00:28:41
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:42
Speaker
Exactly.
00:28:43
Speaker
I mean, we have like a phrase here, at least that, you know, it's either us or them, like it's binary.
00:28:49
Speaker
And so that's kind of how we look at it.
00:28:55
Speaker
You know, you got to be selfish on the field.
00:28:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:59
Speaker
In terms of, you know, selfish for the team's sake, I guess.
00:29:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:06
Speaker
Not selfish within your team, but like, yeah, not like personally selfish where you're going to just go dribble the ball and try to like half field or something like that.
00:29:16
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:18
Speaker
But like selfish on a team's.
00:29:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:21
Speaker
Someone's got to lose and it's not going to be us.
00:29:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:25
Speaker
Right.
00:29:25
Speaker
Kind of a selfish.
00:29:26
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:27
Speaker
You're not friends on the field after you can be friends.
00:29:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:31
Speaker
So then let me ask another question about ruthless.
00:29:33
Speaker
It's like, I don't know if talking smack or whatever happens on the soccer field.
00:29:38
Speaker
I'm sure it does like every other.
00:29:40
Speaker
So tell me when that crosses the line, when do you feel like you go from being a ruthless, fierce competitor within the rules of the game?
00:29:51
Speaker
To someone that we talked about physically crossing the line, what would it look like to cross the line in other ways?
00:29:58
Speaker
Do you ever see that?
00:30:00
Speaker
And when do you think it's inappropriate?
00:30:03
Speaker
I think, especially at this level, it's kind of like what's said on the field was said on the field.
00:30:08
Speaker
So nobody takes anything personally off the field.
00:30:13
Speaker
Like they don't take what's said with them after the game, you know, but yeah.
00:30:18
Speaker
I think where it could cross the line is if it really gets personal about like, you know, a real struggle that somebody is having that, you know, that they're having, you know, I don't think that's fair to, you know, stir that up in a game.
00:30:32
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:35
Speaker
But yeah, that's, that's, I guess that's what I'd say.
00:30:36
Speaker
It's a good question.
00:30:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:39
Speaker
It's just one.
00:30:39
Speaker
And I don't think there's a right answer to it.
00:30:42
Speaker
I just think sometimes when we ask ourselves these questions, like,
00:30:46
Speaker
What does it look like to compete the right way?
00:30:48
Speaker
You know, because we definitely are not advocating for people, you know, just, you know, who cares who wins?
00:30:54
Speaker
Like that takes all the meaning out of sport for us.
00:30:58
Speaker
But I love just thinking through these with people and like their own experiences about what does cross the line because sports gets really, really competitive.
00:31:06
Speaker
And I love what you said.
00:31:08
Speaker
When it gets personal.
00:31:10
Speaker
I love that though.
00:31:11
Speaker
I love that.
00:31:11
Speaker
So it would cross the line then to summarize what you said when, when it gets physical, when you're purposely trying to hurt someone or when it gets personal, but within the rules of the game, it's either
Gratitude and Living in the Moment
00:31:24
Speaker
us or them.
00:31:24
Speaker
And it's going to be us.
00:31:27
Speaker
that wins that to be a very binary thinker on the soccer field or any other.
00:31:35
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:36
Speaker
I really liked that.
00:31:36
Speaker
That's cool.
00:31:37
Speaker
That's really cool.
00:31:38
Speaker
So the last question here that I would love to discuss and, and it's really something that's at the heart of our program.
00:31:48
Speaker
It's the name of our podcast, the sport light podcast, the name of our book,
00:31:52
Speaker
That sport light is the extra attention that's given to athletes because they're in the spotlight.
00:31:58
Speaker
And we call it the sport light.
00:32:01
Speaker
And it puts them in a position to have everything that they do be more powerful.
00:32:06
Speaker
If they do good, it's more powerful.
00:32:09
Speaker
If they do bad, it's more powerful.
00:32:11
Speaker
It hurts more.
00:32:12
Speaker
Either it helps more or hurts more.
00:32:15
Speaker
It either strengthens or makes people feel weak.
00:32:19
Speaker
It either makes people feel scared or it makes people feel safe.
00:32:23
Speaker
Like athletes have that ability.
00:32:25
Speaker
I'm curious just as you've gone now and a lot of people I'm sure look up to Stanford soccer players and look at you, watch your games, want to be you.
00:32:35
Speaker
How has your position as an athlete
00:32:39
Speaker
helped you to lift or mentor other people?
00:32:43
Speaker
It's a good question.
00:32:45
Speaker
I think that just like you said, how others look up to us and look up to other athletes, that we are in a very cool position to help others.
00:32:58
Speaker
I think that
00:33:00
Speaker
sometimes it may mean more if you know one of us can go say hi to a you know someone sitting alone at a lunch table or something like that or just you know really check on someone that's having a rough day i think because it comes from an athlete i think at times like it can
00:33:22
Speaker
it really means something because I guess people looking in at, you know, maybe us at Stanford soccer, they're like, Oh, that dude is like, he has it all together, I guess, even though we don't, but, um, like,
00:33:40
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know.
00:33:41
Speaker
I think, I mean, for me too, like when I look up at like the professional players too, like if that would happen for me and, you know, like just some random like professional player in my sport came and checked on me or, you know.
00:33:56
Speaker
saw me and started talking to me or, you know, we became friends like that would mean, that would mean a lot to me.
00:34:04
Speaker
So I think it's just down the pipeline.
00:34:06
Speaker
It's others or younger athletes too, that look up to us.
00:34:10
Speaker
I think we're in a huge position to help them.
00:34:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:34:13
Speaker
And I love what you said there that people sometimes would look at a soccer team.
00:34:18
Speaker
a soccer player at Stanford and think, yeah, they have it all together.
00:34:21
Speaker
Right.
00:34:21
Speaker
And, and you said, sometimes we don't.
00:34:24
Speaker
And that's true that if you have your eyes up and do the work, you'll notice even people on your own team, you'll notice when teammates are struggling when someone's having a difficult time.
00:34:33
Speaker
Yeah, no, for sure.
00:34:35
Speaker
Everyone's got their struggles.
00:34:36
Speaker
So, yeah.
00:34:38
Speaker
Awesome.
00:34:39
Speaker
Awesome.
00:34:39
Speaker
Well,
00:34:41
Speaker
Anything else, Duncan, thank you so much for all the thoughts you've shared.
00:34:44
Speaker
Like, like you're, you're very insightful.
00:34:48
Speaker
And I, we did an interview with you when you were a young kid.
00:34:52
Speaker
Now you're way more experienced.
00:34:53
Speaker
It's been what, you know, three or four years since we did that.
00:34:58
Speaker
You know, we get to talk to
Final Advice and Reflections
00:35:00
Speaker
young people here in Utah.
00:35:02
Speaker
We have a partnership with the Utah youth soccer association.
00:35:05
Speaker
We do a bunch of events with them and, you know,
00:35:08
Speaker
And there's a lot of kids that are in your shoes when you were that 12, 13-year-old kid that was going to ODP and with dreams and all that.
00:35:18
Speaker
What thoughts do you have that you would just share with those kids?
00:35:21
Speaker
And I don't care what it is.
00:35:22
Speaker
Like if you could take 13-year-old, 12-year-old Duncan Jarvie and you could sit him down and tell him some things that would be helpful in life, in soccer, career, whatever, what would you tell him?
00:35:36
Speaker
I would just say,
00:35:38
Speaker
Enjoy it.
00:35:39
Speaker
Enjoy where you are.
00:35:40
Speaker
Be thankful for everything that you have.
00:35:44
Speaker
I think gratitude is super important.
00:35:47
Speaker
And yeah, just have fun.
00:35:48
Speaker
Like just keep, if you're playing soccer, just keep playing, enjoying it, do what you love.
00:35:53
Speaker
Don't take anything too seriously.
00:35:55
Speaker
Just,
00:35:57
Speaker
you know, just keep moving and enjoy life, you know, just enjoy everything for what it is.
00:36:03
Speaker
Maybe one last question, Duncan, do you have a band?
00:36:07
Speaker
Do you have your eyes up, do the work band?
00:36:09
Speaker
I do.
00:36:09
Speaker
How long have you had that one?
00:36:14
Speaker
since that ODP combine probably eight, 10 years.
00:36:19
Speaker
That thing's 10 years old.
00:36:21
Speaker
Well, I think I had to get a replacement, but this is the second one.
00:36:26
Speaker
Awesome.
00:36:26
Speaker
Why do you wear it?
00:36:27
Speaker
Like, why does eyes up do the work?
00:36:29
Speaker
What does that remind you of?
00:36:30
Speaker
Why do you wear it all the time?
00:36:33
Speaker
You know, I think it's just a really good reminder to me to just get outside of myself, look for others, help others.
00:36:41
Speaker
I'm not the most important person, you know, like put my ego aside, you know, go help other people.
00:36:46
Speaker
You know, it's just like a little, I think when it's off too, it feels unnatural.
00:36:50
Speaker
It feels weird.
00:36:51
Speaker
So it's just something that I got to keep on.
00:36:54
Speaker
It's a little good luck charm.
00:36:57
Speaker
Awesome.
00:36:58
Speaker
That's great.
00:36:59
Speaker
Tell me the impact it has.
00:37:01
Speaker
when you find yourself thinking outside of yourself, why does that help you so much think outside yourself?
00:37:08
Speaker
Because I think it's, it really forces you to look away from your struggles or what's going on in your life, your stressors, and just gets you to really think about others.
00:37:21
Speaker
No, yeah, just feel I guess it's just feels good.
00:37:24
Speaker
It feels natural, you know, it brings you happiness.
00:37:27
Speaker
Yeah, that's cool.
00:37:29
Speaker
It's one of the most ironic things in life that when you get outside yourself and try to make others feel happy, you're happy.
00:37:38
Speaker
And you get all inside yourself and you try to worry about how you can make yourself happy.
00:37:43
Speaker
It usually doesn't lead to that much.
00:37:45
Speaker
Exactly.
00:37:46
Speaker
Yeah, when you're in your head, you know, it does not serve your benefit.
00:37:50
Speaker
When you get out and, you know, you're helping others, it for sure helps you help others to help yourself.
00:37:57
Speaker
Sweet.
00:37:58
Speaker
Sweet.
00:37:58
Speaker
Well, Duncan, it's always great to catch up with you.
00:38:02
Speaker
And we are so excited to continue to follow you as you're there at Stanford.
00:38:06
Speaker
Good luck this year.
00:38:08
Speaker
Hope you win a national championship.
00:38:09
Speaker
You got to promise you guys win a national championship.
00:38:12
Speaker
You got to come on again and talk to us about it.
00:38:14
Speaker
Is that cool?
00:38:15
Speaker
Sure.
00:38:16
Speaker
A hundred percent.
00:38:16
Speaker
I will.
00:38:17
Speaker
Awesome.
00:38:18
Speaker
And we're excited.
00:38:19
Speaker
This is awesome.
00:38:20
Speaker
Thank you.
00:38:21
Speaker
Well, thank you so much.
00:38:22
Speaker
And thanks for your example, all these years and responding so well to the things you learned there.
00:38:28
Speaker
And it's cool to hear you kind of quote those things and talk about those things.
00:38:31
Speaker
It's what we hope is that some things stick in the hearts of kids.
00:38:35
Speaker
And, well, you're an awesome example of it.
00:38:38
Speaker
So thank you so much.
00:38:39
Speaker
And thank you, everybody, for joining the Sportlight Podcast.
00:38:42
Speaker
As always, eyes up, do the work.
00:38:46
Speaker
This has been the Sport Life Podcast from Especially for Athletes, sponsored by Coca-Cola.
00:38:52
Speaker
You can learn more about Especially for Athletes by visiting the website at especiallyforathletes.org.
00:38:57
Speaker
You can also learn more about the book, The Sport Life, by Shad Martin and Dustin Smith at especiallyforathletes.org.