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We're Going on an Adventure! || Stop Drop and Roll Initiative #1
154 Plays11 months ago
Welcome to our new Dungeons and Dragons podcast Stop, Drop and Roll Initiative! In this series, we join Game Master Martin MacAllistair, the tortle monk Satsunami, charismatic elf bard Andrew and hardy dwarf cleric Robotic Battle Toaster.
Together, they will fight together against a new foe threatening the land but, like any good D&D campaign, will it be enough to stop them? Or has this terrific trio bitten off more than they can chew? Let's not waste any time in getting into it!
The first episode will be released on Chatsunami on the 26/01/24 and then subsequently over on the official Stop Drop and Roll Inititive podcast channel!
This podcast is a member of the PodPack Collective. The members are as follows:
Chatsunami
Casting Views
Nerdstalgic
2 Girls 1 Reusable Cup
Review it Yourself
Seismic Cinema
For further information, please follow the link: https://www.chatsunami.com/p/podpack-collective/
Check out all of our content here: https://linktr.ee/chatsunami
Website: chatsunami.com
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TikTok: tiktok.com/@chatsunami
Patrons:
Battle Toaster
Sonia
Greenshield95
Danny Brown
Use my special link zen.ai/chatsunami and use chatsunami to save 30% off your first three months of Zencastr professional. #madeonzencastr
Stay safe, stay awesome and most importantly, stay hydrated!
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:13
Speaker
Hi there and welcome to Stop, Drop and Roll Initiative, a Dungeons and Dragons podcast with me, Martin McAllister, as the Dungeon Master. I'm going to be joined by some of my good friends. You know him, he's a podcaster and streamer. He is Satsunami, robotic battle toaster, head to its streamer, and ordinary human and Canadian, Andrew. Let's see what our party have in store for us today. Welcome to the game.
00:00:42
Speaker
We have a quick intro and then we'll meet our characters.
Setting the Scene: Green Top Island
00:00:45
Speaker
The world is in disarray, as always. A few years ago, a Dark Lord ruled the planet, but like all Dark Lords in Evil and Power, it was eventually wrestled away from him. The resulting power struggle has formed the world into chaos, new governments, new kings, and even new gods have appeared. In the middle of this planet, in the middle of an ocean, lies Green Top Island.
00:01:07
Speaker
people drew the ire of the Dark Lord during his reign and he ravaged the land and lifted people to be built. But on this very island is where our story begins, in the ramshackle town of Saldenport. It's definitely seen better days, but as they're still welcoming place, there's farmers markets and ships and all good stuff that Port Town needs. Including, just situated off the side of the Market Square, a pub named the Drooling Dragon,
00:01:36
Speaker
A crooked sign and unpainted door gives way to a surprisingly homely pub. Today it's busier than ever. A hand-painted poster has been hanging outside for the past week. Help wanted. A famous adventurer needs you to apply within this Sunday. So, what is everybody's characters doing in this pub?
Character Introductions and Recruitment
00:01:58
Speaker
I am probably going to be helping people out at the bar.
00:02:02
Speaker
being a gentle ear for people to talk to and finding out the local gossip on the area. I'm going to be sitting in the corner trying to blend in with the others as a large total, drinking and listening to the other patrons of the bar. Well, I am going to be playing my
00:02:28
Speaker
loot in the corner, trying to get a few extra coins so that I can spend it on some ale or a bit of a nicer wine. Maybe try and pay for a round or two because I like to try and mingle among the common folk while I try and spread good word of my people and also try and talk to a few fine ladies or so.
00:02:49
Speaker
The mood in the bar itself is pretty jovial but there's a wee bit of tension in the air as everyone's waiting for this famous adventure to look in. Everyone's looking for work. Eventually a trio walk into the pub. Heads turn expectantly and they see a stone looking half oak, an elderly dwarven lady and a halfling spiky diet there on a rig in his nose.
00:03:12
Speaker
half-orc and a halfling walk straight through to the next room behind the bar while the D'Woven lady stands in front of the door. She wits at a clipboard, which says, who's first? For all of people who start coming up and trying to talk, so do you guys want to join the queue? Yes, I think I'll stop what I'm playing and I'll go and see what all the commotion's about and go investigate.
00:03:38
Speaker
So I'll let you go first. So basically, she's got a clipboard in her hand and is trying to interview the patients as they come up. She goes, uh, name. My name is Elran Valdara. What is it we're lining up for? Just, I'm quite curious. I just like to get involved in everything and anything that could happen in this wonderful world.
00:03:58
Speaker
Well, we're looking for some fine adventurers to help us out. Oh, wonderful! I've been involved in a few adventures myself, so I think I'm quite keen to try and expand my horizons and explore whatever you have to do for me. She's got an order along with that, and she kind of says, hey, in you go, take a seat. Righto, I'll go do that then.
00:04:22
Speaker
Well, if there's adventuring to be had and people to help, I might as well see if I can do my bit. I finish my drink from the bar, bid goodbye to the person there, and walk on over. How do, good lady? I hear you're needing recruits. Yep, yep. What's your name? My name is Mora Kalhain. I'm a cleric. Why should we bring you along? What's your skills?
00:04:48
Speaker
Well, my entire life has been spent attending to the needs of the many, making tools, repairing things and healing their wounds. So if you need a stable bed or some healing food, let me know. Just get a scratch and a turn to go. OK, in you go. Take a seat. Lessons of all I have be upon you. Before you get to walk forward, Tempest, a group of humans, tall and muscular, push their way through the clouds.
Team Inevitable Enters the Scene
00:05:18
Speaker
Ladies and gentlemen, I am George Etcherwood and this is my team, Team Inevitable. We are good at everything. Between the four of us, we won't have a problem solving any problems you have and we'll make your money and make ourselves some money. Wow, so cool! It basically pushes right past everyone. They barely even wait for the two women to say go ahead. They just go inside and take their seat together in this next room.
00:05:46
Speaker
Elran is intrigued by these people. He thinks that they seem quite rude but uncouth, but he finds them very interesting. Are they attractive in any way? Yeah, they're kind of... I've written down here jokes, so I'm just going to break behind the scene a bit. So yeah, you know, Tal, Oscar's a big dreap of them. Definitely a sight
00:06:17
Speaker
I make eye contact with one and give a slight little wink. I also maintain that eye contact. But I think I'm misinterpreting what their eye contact is perhaps doing and I'm kind of trying to stare into their souls.
00:06:42
Speaker
Yeah, but you're just involved in a staring contest, I guess. Tempest, is your time at the front of the queue now? So I down my drink and I stand up, not realising that the table is right in front of me. And of course it probably flips because of the size of my shell. And I try to go to the front of the queue.
00:07:09
Speaker
And I put on my biggest tortle smile and say, Greetings! My name is Tempest Ottelman, Monk and Fighter extraordinaire. And what kind of skills do you bring to the table, Mr. Tortleman? I'm going to be the greatest monk in the land, so I'm willing to take on any adventure. And she got a scratch. She goes, But what skills do you have?
00:07:39
Speaker
today. I can speak noumish and then I say an ancient noumish proverb that I learned on the way over to the tavern.
00:07:56
Speaker
That's probably grammatically incorrect and full of spelling errors, but you know what? It doesn't matter. How can these all spelling errors appreciate it? Oh, trust me. There's a way. Tempest will find it. And what kind of proverb is it? What are you trying to say? It says that you would be a fool not to accept me with these merry band of adventurers.
00:08:26
Speaker
That's an awfully specific proverb. I'm an oddly specific total. It's going to look sort of like a clip moving to the top. It looks kind of the cue behind you. There's not many people left. Just kind of like, okay, in you go. Thank you. As I shuffle by and try not to get stuck in the door frame.
00:09:07
Speaker
I hope you brought your turtle wax so you can fit through this door again. Why thank you, kind note.
00:09:25
Speaker
I will take that to heart as I walk by. Did you give names to those jock humans? The main one is called George Etowal. So I'm going to walk up to one of these here flashy members that have just walked in, well, barged their way in, I guess. And what sort of equipment are they wearing?
00:09:53
Speaker
They're wearing what looks to be quite pricey equipment. Maybe not the best quality in terms of, you know, as your background being as a folk hero, you know, you've seen a fair share of soldiers and adventurers. So you think that equipment is flashy as opposed to effective? Hmm. How many dinks, dents and chunks does it have taken out of it? Has it buffed about at all or is it spotless?
00:10:24
Speaker
Roll me a perception check, please. Aye. Right, 16. Yeah, as you stare at this jock, you see very little, if any, scuffs at all on an equipment. Not because you think it's been particularly well taken care of, just because you don't think it's ever seen the broadside of a sword. So, you look the part, but how many things have you actually fought and killed?
00:10:53
Speaker
Uh, George, the sort of main one, he takes pausing. Well, you know, we've killed, well, um, uh, everything, really. Um, five-headed dragons, two-headed bears, a bear owl, um, and he just kind of lists off creatures that you have, you suspect may be fake. Do you have any proof of this? Because, well,
00:11:18
Speaker
I don't mean to sound disingenuous at all, but your armour is looking rather tidy, considering all these creatures you've busted. I don't like what you're implying, so me and my fellows here we are, proud adventurers, and we will get the business done.
00:11:39
Speaker
Just because we have rich families doesn't mean that we've had an easy life, you know. I hope my hands don't just go, I am implying no, nothing of the kind, good sir. I'm merely saying that, well, if you are going to be taking part in a, uh, fighting, you might want to know how to use your weapons before you do so. I can patch you up, but, uh, it's better if you don't get hurt at all.
00:12:03
Speaker
And they just kind of, there's just a general sort of raff, raff, raff in reply to that, between all five of them just sort of, all four of them just kind of argue with each other. Yeah, that seems to fit quite close to the bone. My attraction to them is getting lower by the moment. As you're all sitting in this other room, eventually the halfling with the spiky hair and the nose piercing stands up.
Journey to the Forest Challenges
00:12:31
Speaker
You've noticed it's only the seven of you now in this room, so the three people on this recording and four jock characters. It's all the people that have been accepted. We think most of the other people were just, you know, farmers and people looking for a bit of money as opposed to seasons adventurers. And halfling stands up, eventually realising that no one's really going to see him as he jumps up on a table. And he goes, ahem, bangs his glass down. So he's like, you may call me Cotswolds.
00:13:00
Speaker
I'm the last remaining Knight of the Oak. I need a team for a large job, but I'm only going to take three or four of you. So I set off some challenges to see who's the best. But don't worry, you'll still get paid for today whether you want to lose. Sounds good to me. I'm game for whatever we have to do today. Would everyone like to roll me a history check, please?
00:13:26
Speaker
Oh my god, I've got good history. Oh my god, I just rolled a nat 20. What's your modifier? Plus five. I've never rolled a nat 20 before. My first roll today. I will not get one for the rest of the campaign. And that is your 20 for the session.
00:13:49
Speaker
Yeah, I've rolled a 15 as well, but with my plus 5, so that's an unnatural 20. I've got plus 30, so yeah, 18 for me. Oh, I'm going to be doing nothing about history checks in this game, isn't it? No. You guys are going to be turning everything into history. Uh-oh. So Cotswold, this half thing, mentioned the Knights of the Oak. You have not heard of this group in a long, long time. You see, as far as you're aware, they're unactive. These are sort of the
00:14:18
Speaker
The good guide protectors of the realm kind of people, they would go out anyways, take magical artefacts into their possession off of, you know, the liches and hags and those that would do harm with them. But that was a hundred of years ago. Maybe an elf might have still been alive that might have been part of them, but certainly a halfling from much shorter life spans would never have been alive the last time they were around.
00:14:43
Speaker
So you're a bit surprised to hear this guy claim to be part of them. Could I investigate to see whether or not he might be lying about being part of them? Yeah, free roll an insight check please. I got 12 after my modifier.
00:14:59
Speaker
It's hard for you to tell because he was making kind of a big speech. He didn't stumble over his words or hesitate in this part of that speech. So it's kind of hard for you to see into that. I look suspiciously, but don't question it too much. Having been around probably when their words have been in the latter years of the Knights of the Oak, I'm familiar with them. And so I'm a little skeptical of this halfling being a part of this old group.
00:15:27
Speaker
Yeah, like he said as well, especially, you know, you all know the difference between the life spans of an elf and the life spans of a halfling. So it's many generations of halflings since the last of these knights would have a scene. But he says, let's be off then. So he thinks you have the problem separating into two carriages with basically Team Jock all into one carriage and you three go into another one. And he turns to you and he says, just like you know, I won't be leaving high and dry. There's half oak here. Big oof. Who'll be joining you today?
00:15:57
Speaker
He doesn't say much, but, er, he might be useful. Aye, you've. There's half hope he just stares blankly back at you, barely registered in your presence at all. Can I roll to wave harder? You may roll. Can you roll at a... What would you rather do, strength or dexterity? Erm, strength. Okay, roll strength, straight, please. This is when you get your natural strength. I did it! I actually did it!
00:16:27
Speaker
It's the hardest damn wave you've ever seen. Oh my goodness. That's some wave you're doing there. Yep. It's very impressive. Pass down from my family. The air temperature just drops like half a degree from the wind that's coming out of this. But it barely phases of who just kind of stares at your blankly one gun. Well, I tried. Did you say he was an orc?
00:16:59
Speaker
Oh fuck. He speaks Orcish then? Yes. I have a conversation with him in Orc, being one of my languages. Just to kind of ask like where he's from originally and like what he's doing here. Absolutely no response. Okay. Can I try my gnomish proverb again? What proverb are we doing to see this thing?
00:17:24
Speaker
The exact same one, but maybe a little bit more grammatically correct. I don't even know what I would roll for that. I don't think so. No, I don't. And then there's no room for that. I mean, my charisma too, but I'm not even gonna. At this point, I want you to do it because it's the same. Just for the emotional damage this is causing you. This half hope continues to stay through you.
00:17:54
Speaker
Hey, what did I say? He doesn't talk much. I spent a couple of years living amongst the Orcish people. Am I able to identify any kind of signets that he might be wearing that could identify, like, what tribe he might be from? You think you could if he was wearing anything? Is he naked? I beg your pardon! Signet-wise, very... You think all the clothes and stuff that he's wearing is from this area.
00:18:24
Speaker
of the world. Okay. Yeah, but you have plenty of time to look inside the carriage that you've all got to bustle into. I'm just going to be smiling at people and just going, how do? How are you doing? Nice to meet you. My name's Morick. Just as the carriage is sort of leaving the center, you guys can just, you just leave another window, get a wave that everyone liked the Queen. I'm blowing kisses. I'm still waving from before.
00:18:53
Speaker
What is the troll waving? I can't stop my hand. I'm gonna reach out and try and grab his hand to stop him from waving. It becomes a handshake. Make his friends check please. Okie dokie. And opposed. Is he gonna have to roll up to resist? I'm not sure.
00:19:14
Speaker
Oh, yeah. 17 plus 3 from my modifier. Why am I burning all my good roles in the introduction? Yeah. That's always the case. So, 20. So, you wouldn't try to do this. What do you think? Is 20 strong enough? Well, my strength is... Yeah, my strength is 17, so... Yeah, my strength is... My strength is 17 as well, so...
00:19:45
Speaker
yeah that's right it's it's like that scene from predator the two hands coming to glass pans smile at you moric you son of a bitch what's the matter monk skilled got you pushing too many pencils
00:20:10
Speaker
The biceps just pop into both ears. You're unlucky, I boil out of this. I have a feeling this is going to be a fun adventure. I'm going to sit back down in my chair. Credits roll. What are the episodes? So the carriage that you're in takes you outside of the setting towards a nearby forest. A seemingly random location along this road.
00:20:40
Speaker
The two can't stop suddenly. You hurry down with them. From there, you're led down a series of seemingly random paths between trees into ditches, down cliff faces, until eventually you come to
Obstacle Race Challenge Begins
00:20:53
Speaker
a clearing. Before you stand, a large collection of wooden structures all over the place. This clearing's about, I don't know, about 300 feet. It's a huge clearing, and these wooden structures are very similar to what you would see at, let's say, an army training barracks. There's things there like a castle made out of wood.
00:21:09
Speaker
There's a 30-foot wall, all sorts of like the usual training apparatus, and the halflings of jumps in front of you and rubs his hand and goes, well, it's time for a little bit of a competition. Today you will be partaking three challenges. The winner of the third challenge is going to be guaranteed the job, but winning the previous two challenges will give you a benefit in challenge three. So try as hard as you can. They lead you over to a line in the sand
00:21:39
Speaker
And he says, well, the first challenge is a race. There are all four people from each team has to cross over the finish line right over there. It's between you and this finish line that he's pointed to are a series of obstacles, monkey bars, the low net that you have to crawl under. And what appears to be about a 30 foot high wall? And he goes, and yes, you do have to go over the wall, all of you. On your marks? Well, I guess any questions?
00:22:08
Speaker
Before he does any of that I'm going to pretty much tap my two compatriots on the shoulders and without them knowing I'm going to cast my cantrips of guidance so they get to roll a d4 and add an ability check of their choice.
00:22:26
Speaker
Are you able to do two at once? It says it's range touch and it's above components visual and speech. It just says casting time one action. Doesn't say concentration there anyway. Nope just components V and S. Right in that case then so you can declare you want to use that d4 after even after you find out the results so if you do find that you're going to fail you're going to be able to add it one afterwards.
00:22:50
Speaker
Sounds good. Well, good luck you two. I'll help how I can, and remember, don't sprain your ankles. And as the gnome say, gnomish brother, I trust it'll be an unlock to you, as I pat him on the shoulder as well.
00:23:08
Speaker
I'm just staring blankly at him. Well, you're welcome. Good luck and see you at the finish line. All right then, let's do this. It'd be great fun. And you look across at the opposition and they're all kind of doing stretches and shooting huts, huts, huts a lot and just really getting themselves pumped up for this. Oh by the gods.
00:23:37
Speaker
Have you seen those biceps? I know I have. Can I change teams? Three, two, one, go! So the first obstacle you come to is a series of monkey bars over a hit of water. Quick question. How low down are these monkey bars?
00:24:06
Speaker
You're probably going to have to kick off a post or something together. You're going to need a hand here about six foot off the ground. Can I? OK, I'm four foot six. Can I do an athletics check to try and jump up and grab the monkey bars? Absolutely. Before when I get to the monkey bars, I'm just going to look up at them. I just turn back to the halfling and be like, really? He just kind of shrugs. He goes, hey, I had to do it. OK, I'm going to roll my check. Come on.
00:24:36
Speaker
Oh, god damn it. Is it strength or dexterity? For athletics, it's strength check. Okay. Okay, I'm snipping this because I want you to believe that I'm not taking the piss. Okay. But this is gonna bite me in the butt. This is gonna bite me in the butt when we actually get to combat.
00:25:08
Speaker
So for those of you who don't know, I rolled a 20. Combined with my plus three from athletics, yes, 23. That is one hell of a leap. It's one of those that you actually leap and you're like, wow, I nailed that. Like you are jumping, like you could have probably done like a muscle up and jumped over the bars at that point. You're like, wow, I have proven myself today and you kind of
00:25:39
Speaker
start making your way across the bars oops steady on don't pull the muscle down to your question andre you're allowed to i'll let you use either athletics or acrobatics for this check oh nice okay i have i have good acrobatics all right uh that's 17 after my modifier go to after seeing the dwarf in front of you you kind of run up behind jump onto the monkey bars and not as maybe not as graceful or as powerful as the um
00:26:09
Speaker
dwarf in front of you but you earn them real well as well and you sort of beat your way along. Cheerio, let's go! So just acrobatics? How tall are you turtle?
00:26:39
Speaker
Because if they're six foot off the ground, you could just walk. Well, sorry, six foot is the start and then there's a pit. Sorry, that's my bad. Ah, okay. Yeah, 17. I will just jump up with ease.
00:27:04
Speaker
This is easy. Use your waving hand. Goodness. Yeah, oh yeah. No, sorry. First I look down at my waving hand and say, waving hand, don't fail me now. And then I jump up. And behind you, Oof, the half oak. Seems quite unsteady at first, but manages to hold his position and eventually make his way of going over the pit as well. So all four of you land at the other side.
00:27:34
Speaker
um pretty safely. Next up is the sort of low netting and so you're gonna have to crawl through um tempest you are gonna have to roll at the disadvantage of this I'm afraid. Yeah is it can I put can I put up my hand and say excuse me instructor is this because I'm a total um you certainly can then I'll do whatever
00:28:05
Speaker
And Copswell just kind of looks back at you and just goes, this corpse was set up before you got here. Can I shake my head disapprovingly and give him the heart stare? Just like the Paddington stare. Would you like to roll an intimidation check please? Emotional damage there.
00:28:37
Speaker
Yes, I do. I've got more modifiers. Yeah. You just get on with it, man. Okay. That's all right. I've got you. I'm going to hold the netting up as I stand at the edge. Go. You first. Oh, thank you. I'll give Bardic inspiration as well to help him through. What does that do?
00:29:05
Speaker
It gives him one d6 as an inspiration die. Nice, so he's got a d6 and a d4 that he can roll. Tempest, could you make a dexterity check here? Just roll a dexterity. Fourteen. Yeah, that's enough. It's slow, but it's enough, you know, you're crawling through, crawling through, getting a bit caught on the net, but you've lived your whole life like this. You know what you're doing.
00:29:34
Speaker
What's that supposed to mean? You'd love to overlay the shell anyway? Yeah. Crawling from my time cycle.
00:29:44
Speaker
Wait, you can hear the narrating voice in your head too. I thought it was just me. Oh my goodness. We should really tell someone about this. Go on young elf, on your way. Okay guys, here I go. That's 10 plus 3 or 4, no it's acrobatics.
00:30:07
Speaker
Just straight down to the exit. Straight exit, that's 13 then. Don't forget you can roll your d4 if you need to. Oh right, that's a 4. Hey, no problem for you, that's 7. That's 17? 17 overall, yep. No problem for that, you would straighten, you know, catching up to 10% through this netting. Hmm.
00:30:29
Speaker
I'm staring at the netting now going, bugger. All right, I guess it's my turn. Here we go. All right, I'm gonna drop down and start crawling through. Oh, God, even with my minus one modifier to my dexterity, I get 16. And even- High roller. Yeah, high roller. Even though you were nervous about going in, soon as you're in there, you're feeling the movement, you're getting there. You must have warmed up before you started. Maybe that's what's going on.
00:30:59
Speaker
The movement's good. And just to your left, out of crawling through, you see the half-hole just kind of crawling as well, sort of matching your speed as he goes through the netting. You've got this. And finally he goes, just kind of nods, no words.
00:31:18
Speaker
Elran's father's voice plays in the back of his head, typical dwarf, going always low in the dirt, aren't they? And Elran kind of tries to shake that off out of his head. Cheeky. Oh my God, he can read my mind. Did anybody else hear that?
00:31:41
Speaker
You hear the sound of a crossbow clipping behind you. Dodge this! Thank God for my dexterity. And eventually all four of you make out the other side a bit, a bit muddy off aware, but pretty unscathed. In front of you stands a final obstacle, a 30 foot high wooden wall. It seems to be, as I said, it's made of wood, so there are slats horizontally up.
00:32:08
Speaker
But it does look very smooth and hard to climb. It's like a sheer face. What would you like to do? I've got it, guys. I take my pack off my racks. I'm so glad I've got this. How high did you say the wall was? Fantastic. Right. I pull out my 50 foot rope of hemp.
00:32:32
Speaker
And I tie the end of it to one of my pots that I've got. I've got like a cauldron pot. No, actually, no, no, I'm gonna make it a bit easier. I'm gonna tie it to my mace and I'm gonna launch it over the wall. Okay. So that'd be just a flat strength check, wouldn't it? I believe so. Okay, yeah, so let's do... Please don't fuck up. Oh no, 11.
00:33:00
Speaker
Okay. Incoming! As I see that the object is not going to make its destination, I cast Mage Hand to catch the rope and try and guide it properly over the wall. So you're only going to be able to grab the rope itself, not the mace. So Mage Hand can only lift about ten pounds. That's all right, the mace is five. Is it? No, actually the mace is four pounds. It's a one-handed mace, yeah.
00:33:32
Speaker
Well, either that or I could tie off the end of the rope to the other side of the wall at some point. No, if you want to just lift the whole contraption over, it's up to you. OK. I use Mage Hand and lift the rope and mace over to the other side to act as a weight pulley that we can pull ourselves over with. Fantastic. So, yeah, I'm assuming you've stayed holding on to the rope at your side, toast. Aye. Cool.
00:34:00
Speaker
Yeah, as the mage hand drops, you feel quite a wee strain, but you're kind of loading it, you're in control of this rope. So, to put to the scene, so, what do you say, 50 foot rope? Right. So, the mace will be, what, five foot off the ground at one side and you'll be holding it in your own hands at the other side? Basically, yeah. Where would you like to go from here? Right, who wants to go first? Who's the lightest out of all of us?
00:34:29
Speaker
I shuffle backwards awkwardly. I'm trying to think what my weight is actually. I weigh 140. You weigh the same as me? Well, I'm six feet tall, so... Man, I'm chunky.
00:34:50
Speaker
You're all going to be heavier than the mace, or am I misunderstanding what you've done here, sorry? Basically, I've just yeeted the... I've used the mace to just, like, get the rope over the wall. So the plan is if we can get someone...
00:35:02
Speaker
I actually know, because the challenge didn't say that we couldn't run round the wall, we just have to climb over it to complete the challenge. So I'm just gonna go, oh, Elf, halt this. I hold whatever you're... And whilst he helps, I run round the corner and I use my hammer, my mace into the ground, using it like a peg at the base of the wall, using my survivalist skills and my masonry knowledge with a hammer. Do you want to roll a survival?
00:35:36
Speaker
17. Yeah, it's easy enough for you to do as you kind of, you know, you've, like I said, you've made sure you've got lots of stuff, you're able to hammer this.
00:35:45
Speaker
mace into sort of lodging it and between the groans and the wall itself kind of stabilizing it. Hey, you think it's going to be able to take a fair bit of weight now? Nice, right. I'd run back around the corner. Right, I'll go first just in case it goes wrong and I hurt myself. All right, good luck everyone. I'm going to start climbing the rope. Okie dokie.
00:36:07
Speaker
I want you to make athletics or acrobatics, whatever you're feeling more comfortable with. Probably athletics, because my dexterity is minus one. If I did that, I'd miss the rope entirely. Fourteen. Yeah, you know, it starts off slow, but as you get moving, you get all the way up to the top of the wall and start kind of abseiling down. Yeah, it's pretty good going. Everything kind of holds together. Cool. I'm going to add my weight to the anchor at the bottom.
00:36:34
Speaker
Can we see what the other group is doing, like how far along they are? Absolutely. They are currently building a cheerleader pyramid, and getting over the wall that way. But wait, what? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What
00:37:02
Speaker
That is a 6 after my modifier.
00:37:06
Speaker
You've used your guidance haven't you as well? Yeah, he has. You just can't seem to work out this rope. You're struggling, you're sliding, you don't even get high enough up to take full damage. Ah, well done. Ouch. Yeah, it's a bit icky. Everything's just a bit kind of sore. Yeah, maybe you've been distracted by the other team as you see them kind of making progress and you're struggling to make it any... It's just a...
00:37:33
Speaker
Just not a great time when he's got a slight back down. Well, I've had my try. How about you, Tempest? I have a question. Actually, out of character, I've got a question. Yeah. I have a question for both. See, if I put actually on my back, would I have to roll a disadvantage? Yes, very much so.
00:38:03
Speaker
what would that go against then so it would be you'd have to reach a higher number probably than what you did before and you also rolled two and you take the lowest number right okay i'm about to lose two party members okay my bardic inspiration is probably still active
00:38:27
Speaker
Yeah, that's true. But I thought he spent it to get under the net. It lasts for 10 in-game minutes. Oh, OK. So add a d6 to whatever you roll. So I turn round to Elradd and say, hop on. And I patch my shell. I hop on. You're right.
00:38:57
Speaker
no questions okay that's that's the first time that's happened isn't the first time today i've been asked to hop on so i grab the rope and oh dear so i've got seven and eleven so plus four that'll be eleven
00:39:18
Speaker
With someone on your back, I don't think that's good enough. I think that was, you know, the strength needed. What did you eat? I guess I had an extra breakfast this morning. I was hanging out with some halflings and they just said it was the norm. Oh, good for you. Beside you, if the halfpokes kind of shakes his head and just starts going up the rope, then he's up and down, no problem.
00:39:46
Speaker
Hold this, I'm gonna go and give him a hand. I run around the other corner and go, right, come on, you two, one at a time. I'm gonna give you a push. Again, I'm gonna roll, use my cantrip. I'm literally just, you know, getting ready to push. I'm gonna do the L first. I'm gonna push him up the purse, four foot, six inches of the rope.
00:40:15
Speaker
Would you like to make another roll and you get to add a d4 to it? 15, 3, so that's 18 plus my modifier for acrobatics, so that's 22.
00:40:28
Speaker
Yeah, you think you just needed the hand of friendship on you. And as soon as you're past that first, what was it, four foot six? You are... Yeah, cheeky bugger, hand of friendship. As soon as you're past that, they always say like the first part of a claim's the hardest. So like, you know, as soon as you're past that first bit.
00:40:47
Speaker
No problem, right up to the top, straight over the other side. Radio, I use my weight on the other side, all 140 pounds of it, to try and help weigh down the rope on the side to help Tempest. Yep. I turn to the turtle in the room. All right, Tempest, your go. I give. Pat him on the shoulder and go, right, let's get you up there. I give him a thumbs up and say, I've got this.
00:41:17
Speaker
Aye, you've got this. Holy shit, I actually do got this 19. That's the past four, so 20 today. So I screwed up that rope like my life depended on it. Yeah, once again, you just need a calming, relaxing, you know, friend in the air just to help you, just to help you get over that initial fear of going up this big wall. And yeah, as soon as you're past that initial start, you're moving.
00:41:44
Speaker
absolutely no problem i'm gonna collect my uh mace and rug once he's over because i'm not leaving them behind unfortunately for you guys as you all reach the other side of the wall i've seen that the other team have finished and you guys just have to trot now to the finish line collect second place no i'm not saying it was your fault elran but
00:42:11
Speaker
There wasn't a sense of teamwork going on at that moment. You see the jokes are like drinking ale out of a shoe into celebrating, just having a good time rolling out right now. Is that a shoe? I hang my head in shame. It's just, it's like my father said was right. I am useless.
00:42:32
Speaker
Eh, now, none of that. We all make mistakes. We'll have another check. Remember, he said that just because we've lost this one, doesn't mean we've lost the whole thing. Can I roll to hold back the tears of that moment? Yeah, can you make that wisdom saving throw, please? Eight plus three, so I'll have it. Yeah, you start beating. I'm bubbling.
00:43:00
Speaker
It's so beautiful. Are you all right, Tempest? I turn away. It's OK. Carry on with your friendship. Well, no. We're all part of a team, even Ulf here. In the half, we're just going to nod sternly. Damn, he's cool. Oh, god. Am I the personification of friendship is magic?
00:43:30
Speaker
We've got a shown in D&D podcast.
00:43:37
Speaker
Every villain's going to join the team eventually, can't wait. Yeah, I've managed to convince the giant dragon not to kill everyone. I banished him to the shadow realm. You mean the friend's realm after we got on? The friend's zone. Oh my god. With emotional damage. With the orc like us, yes. That's just how the half-world gets looking around like. So, with that.
00:44:03
Speaker
It costs more than half-ling and ounces the jock team as the winners. But he says, as he was just pointing out, yep, there is two more games, like I said, everything to play for in the third one. But this next round is going to test some other skills. And he kind of leads you towards the edge of this clearing and the elderly dwarven woman from earlier with the clipboard is standing there. And behind her, it looks to be
00:44:32
Speaker
Calvin sort of descends down and behind on she says oh no I appear to have lost my cat if only there was some brave adventurers to help get it back for me I would be so grateful don't you worry madam I will make sure your cat is returned to you in prompt and safe manner
00:44:49
Speaker
of course all the halfling goes wait so five minutes on the clock
The Cave Cat Challenge
00:44:53
Speaker
George because your team won you get to go first and for the rest of you she's gonna wait here and they've got five minutes to see if they get this cat back so three two one and you see the team, the other team will run off you know at the second at the word go so an observation so they've run off down down into the cave right absolutely they're all human
00:45:17
Speaker
right yes and none of them have torches or dark vision because nope and so they've just run into the dark yep can i see from where we're standing into the cave at all like i have dark vision
00:45:33
Speaker
Oh, but you can see it does look like there is some light further down, like maybe they've kind of somewhat training area, maybe to what you've seen before, so maybe they've lit it. You can't see very much, so the cave kind of turns. It does look like it opens up further down. Okay. Would everyone like to roll perception checks, please? Aye. Oh dear. Ten. 21.
00:46:14
Speaker
Well, you're sure to see some dents and bruises into their armour now aren't you?
00:46:20
Speaker
Aye, just because I don't like what they do and I don't think they're good fighters, well, they're showboats really, I don't wish any harm to them. I'll be waiting here with potions when they get back up. If they get back up? I look over at the halfling. If it gets too dangerous for them, can we go and rescue them on their rescue mission? He kind of looks back at you. You see he's actually quite
00:46:48
Speaker
pleasantly surprise you and ask a question like that. And he goes, nah, I don't like about it. They shouldn't be able to handle us. And then when the timer hits, they'll come back here, I think. I don't think they've brought this, if I'm honest. But we'll see. I'm just going to relay to him what you told me in terms of what I can hear from my one from the perception. It doesn't sound like they're doing too well down there. He goes, yeah, yeah. I was kind of expecting that. This is a slightly different game that's not just strength.
00:47:16
Speaker
I thought they were showboating, but I don't want them to die. Don't worry, nothing like that. If you're sure. It is just someone's pet cat after all. What kind of cat is it? Is there anything else you guys would like to go up to while you're waiting? Just any chit chat or things you'd like to do?
00:47:35
Speaker
I'll be standing by the entrance with healing sounds at everything on standby. Waiting just in case the halfling gives you a say, yeah, maybe you should go down there. I'm just going to be waiting on standby. Are they winning? I feel like they're winning. And eventually the timer goes and you can hear them all arguing and slowly trotting their way back up.
00:48:00
Speaker
complaining at each other and you see other faces they've got several little cuts little claws cuts all over their faces nothing like threatening nothing actually dangerous just a bit humiliating and they'll probably have to really really light it up to try and make it sound like it was a big monster aside from those little nicks are you all okay he kind of looks at you and goes don't talk to me i'll
00:48:27
Speaker
as someone else's for you you you see how you get on see how you get on well i can see in the dark so i'll probably get on quite well and he's just gonna scuffs his shoe and walks away from me here if you need me you can just tell that you're like joyous attitude is just not not what he needs right now
00:48:44
Speaker
I pull out my lute and start playing kind of sombra music as he walks away to kind of as like a soundtrack to his sadness. Can I dance along with the music? Sadly. Sadly, yes. Swaying from side to side with my waving hands in front of me. Can you roll a performance stick please? Oh I can. Fifteen.
00:49:10
Speaker
surprisingly decent little dance. Again, nobody really wanted to see it. Those that look at you like, oh, didn't expect those kind of moves. I only rolled a 12, so my music playing wasn't great. So I'm kind of looking at Tempest upstaging me and thinking like, better watch out for this one.
00:49:33
Speaker
first the wave that was just magnificent and and now this dance what else is he hiding under in that shell of his and all i'm thinking in my head is just the same melody you're playing i was just imagining you played like the the side one from pokemon just laughing at town yeah yeah suddenly ghosts
00:50:02
Speaker
And of course all the halfling comes up to you guys as well. But you couldn't do it? You think you guys have got this? I'll give it a try. Yeah, I can't do much worse, can we? I say that just loud enough so that the other team can hear. Three, two, one, go! Your time starts now.
00:50:22
Speaker
Whilst the halfling is getting ready to tell us to go and everything else, I'm getting a torch out in a tinderbox. Strike it and I pass the lit torch to Tempest. Don't want you tripping in there, do we? Right, onwards, let's get down there. Rock and hold. I'm gonna just run down into the dark. So, as you descend to this cavern as a cabin that opens up into a much wider area, in front of you there are
00:50:50
Speaker
six pillars, two rows of three, and made of what looks to be stone. They're not massively high, maybe about 10 foot each. Not massively high, that's almost three times my height. Compared to the 30 foot wall from earlier, it's a third of that. True. And even with your dark vision, you see there's like a cloud fog around this area, it's making it quite difficult to see, particularly clearly.
00:51:19
Speaker
You think it was probably a spell that's been cast in the past, so it's not like it's emanating from a wall or something. I mean, it's just static there. And as you enter this room, you hear a meowing sound of a cat from up onto one of these pillars. Can I try a...
00:51:45
Speaker
Absolutely. Can you roll an animal handling check, please? Absolutely. Oh. One other detail. This was about 30 feet, maybe, from the entrance. So not, you know, for you guys that have run a fairly quick move, but not, you know, you're not right at the entrance. And that will happen.
00:52:09
Speaker
As you do it, the cat sort of yells back who doesn't seem to move, but you are able to place that, like I said, there's two rows of pillars and you guys kind of sit in between two of them. You think the cat is on the left-hand side as it's made up. Could I try and play music to bring the cat down? Sort of trying. Would that be performance or animal handling?
00:52:34
Speaker
Do you want to make a nature check to see if you know any music that might be attractive to your others? Okay. Oh no. Natural one. Plus, my nature is plus four, so five. You can only think of Wonderwall right now, you can't do any other songs. Every song you've ever learned you've just forgotten. When you think of it, like, what would a cat like in a Wonderwall?
00:52:58
Speaker
I'm going to, uh, reach into my pack whilst, uh, whilst our wonderful bard is trying to, uh, come up with a song. And I'm going to take one of my, uh, jerky rations out and rip some chunks off of it and put it down on the floor and just stay low and just talk in a quiet voice. You should go, it's all right. Go, mate. Can you also make animal handling turling with advantage? Okey dokey.
00:53:26
Speaker
Oh yeah! Funny enough, I'm also proficient in animal handling. Okay, so that's the first roll. That would be a 15 plus 5, so that'd be 20. Just to half it, I'm going to roll the second one. Okay, yeah, we're going to go with the first roll. What was the second roll of kiosk? Six. Fair.
00:53:48
Speaker
As you're making this noise, you see the furthest away pillar from you, so left hand side, furthest away. A cat, a black cat, so that's to keep down the pillar, and anyone would like to roll a nature check for me please. 15. 18. A natural one. I just say, what the hell is that? For a moment, how do you do that thing where you're like, what? Is that a dog?
00:54:18
Speaker
No, no, I can't put my finger on what that's called again. For the other two, first of all you do notice this cat has tentacles coming out of it. Who is it, the world A team, sorry? Aye. You think this might be a kitten of a displacer beast, a displacer beast being a much larger animal, much larger sort of panther, if they are able to
00:54:47
Speaker
cast illusionary spells. I saw that in the movie one time. You may have seen it on a recent puppet show about Dungeons and Dragons. But this is like a tiny version of it. And it's kind of pouring its way slowly towards the jerky. I'm just smiling. I'm just staying crouched down near the jerky. Waiting until it gets closer. Yeah, it's getting closer and closer. I'm gonna have my hand outstretched nearby the jerky.
00:55:16
Speaker
I've got no weapons out, I'm not in a hostile past tense or pose or anything. I do have an ace up my sleeve, just in case things go sideways, but I'm hoping I don't have to use it. Do I know what this is? With my 15? Yeah, you do, yeah. Would I be able to do an investigation to check that this is the real? There is an illusion. Can you make a perception check, please? Nine. You are unable to tell?
00:55:46
Speaker
I'm rolling like garbage now. You burnt your high rolls earlier. That's always the case. And as he gets close to the jerky, it kind of expectantly looks up at you to see what you do. I reach my hand slowly towards its face, palm out for it to sniff. And I'm not gonna... Why would I attack or hurt this creature? As it kind of reaches out almost to the point where it would make contact with you, the cat disappears. And...
00:56:17
Speaker
back basically back to the original pillar where it came down from you now see a second cat come forward do you think the first one was just an illusion just to try and test out to see what the waters were like yep and it kind of comes up and it seems to be pretty happy to sniff happy to eat about hello there little one and it kind of mares happily at you um i'm gonna pick it up with the jerky in my other hand i'm just like holding it up to its face while i'm just like carrying it in one arm cool would you like to make
00:56:46
Speaker
one more check for that please like uh another animal handling check please with advantage just for the actual picking up of a cat is anyone who's picked up a cat knows what this is like oh my god okay first roll is 18 okay second roll oh my god no we're taking the second roll second roll is 19 oh plus my five so we're at 24
00:57:08
Speaker
So this is where all of Andrew's rules are gone, is you've not split them up. Every time I've patted you on the back to give you a blessing, I've been taking some of your roll. And the pat has concealed a dagger. And yeah, you pick the kitten up and there's a woman where maybe you think it might, but you're able to soothe it and relax it. And yeah, basically you've carried a cat out like a baby all the way out to the, I assume sorry, head out of the cave now.
00:57:38
Speaker
Yep. And yeah, you've successfully achieved the cat. The elderly daughter sort of reads off the script. Wow, thank you, my cat. How can I ever repay you? I'm still thinking, what the hell was that? He's got a dangerous creature in his arms. Doesn't he know? I should tell him.
00:58:02
Speaker
Maybe later, first I want a bit of that jerky. And then Cockswell takes the halfling, takes the cat from you and puts a little collar onto it and sort of gives it to the elderly dwarfs to take away with her. She heads off. So you've both won one game each. It's no time for the finale. Cockswell team over there, they're kind of, you know, they're a wee bit peeved at you guys for having one that.
00:58:32
Speaker
You can tell the confidence has been knocked a bit by that.
Final Challenge: Capture the Flag
00:58:37
Speaker
But you've got one round left. This is the decider. We think you'll enjoy this one. He points towards this wooden castle structure, very simplified, effectively just a moat and an outside wall. You can see through that outside wall through one of the doors there's a large
00:58:58
Speaker
a wooden square inside of it and he sort of points to it and he goes on the top of that there are two flags one for a red team one for a blue team first person to grab one of the flags and brings it back wins that's all there is to it i only stand it up on that hill is that all and he kind of starts to turn and walk off i'll give you a shout when it's time to go and he kind of keeps keeps walking
00:59:29
Speaker
I smile at the other team and go, all right, now to show that there's no grudges, no disagreements or anger from my side of things, you've still got those goblets of ale. And a few of them kind of pull out some of your oil.
00:59:48
Speaker
I reach into my pack and say, here, try a little of this. This is a rare distillation from my side of the world. I think you'll like it. I've only got one bottle left, but I'm saving it for special occasions. Here, have a little drink. It'll put hairs on your chest. They all kind of are you suspiciously, but start to come over to see what this is all about.
01:00:10
Speaker
I hold up the bottle and it is a nice clear yet amber liquid and I pull the stopper out, take a whiff and just take a small swig. It burns as it goes down. Would you like some? I join the queue to seem like I'm part of their group to also get some. I lean in awkwardly very, very close and look at the bottle and go, ooh.
01:00:38
Speaker
What would this do to a non, this is me the DM asking all the characters, what would this do to a non to old person? Well it's 350 year old whiskey.
01:00:50
Speaker
So it is strong. Cool. And they have already been drinking ale, so it's going to take a little bit to hit into their system, but yes, I imagine bladed with success. So everyone takes a tiny dram, like each and I'd like, everyone is drinking it, so I'll have to do some rules here, but everyone who's drinking it can roll a constitution saving throw please. Apart from the dwarf dealing out, the relative would like to roll
01:01:19
Speaker
Yeah, Constitution's even further, please. Oh God, have I... Wait, hold on a minute. Have the other members of my party had some as well? Yeah, but that's what they were saying. I will have, yes. Me too. Oh, no. Oh, I know what I can do. I'm so trusting. I go bottoms up.
01:01:45
Speaker
As I'm giving it to them, I'm waiting for the other group to take a few steps away. Oh god, I can't believe I'm actually going to have to use this. Oh, okay. I'm going to use my first level spell, Purify Food and Drink. I have never heard of the spell being used like that.
01:02:06
Speaker
Basically it removes all poisons and makes it perfectly safe to drink or eat. It removes all poisons, toxins, anything that's in there. It essentially turns into water. Yes. I, who have a very poor tolerance generally for alcohol, just like down this and I'm like, this is easy. The dwarf liquor is so weak.
01:02:38
Speaker
I smack my lips and say, taste like home. I spent a fucking spell point on you, healthy boy. It's such expensive old whiskey as well that you've turned into water. Yes. Yes. On the inside, I'm smiling, but on the inside I'm crying. As you rightly predicted, they have all
01:03:25
Speaker
I don't think you need to worry about that because they've got to try and somehow climb a castle wall.
01:03:32
Speaker
pissed. That's true. I don't think they're going to walk in a straight line. They're probably just going to run off into the forest. But see what you're trying to do. And Caught as Fall was now reached the hilltop. He's one to stand up and he shows back down and he goes, so a couple of rules. Number one, don't kill anyone. I reshaped my rapier. All the weapons go back in the pocket. Oh, man.
01:04:02
Speaker
And he goes, team, I guess he's giving you both a colour, so would you like to be red or blue? Well, I'm wearing a blue shirt right now, so should we go red? He goes, red team, you've won the second game, so you get the compliment of a displacer kitty. And the little kitten is now sort of given to you by the old wolf, so it's on a leash. And he goes, I will go on the back after this, but, you know, who would like to take it?
01:04:30
Speaker
Uh, probably the person that managed to lure it in the first place would make the most sense and not the person who doesn't know what it is. Very good, yeah, I'll take the kitty cap. Seriously, what is that? And as it's sitting there with this, like, collar and leash on, you think it's a lot calmer than it would have been. It's a lot more trusting. I think maybe the collar might be a magical item, maybe some kind of animal handling collar. Anyways, um,
01:04:59
Speaker
Blue team, because you won the first round, you get a five second head start. Oh, six seconds, I guess that is indeed the six second head start. And it goes, right, capture the flag. Three, two, one. And can everyone roll initiative, please? Oh, God. Two. Seven. I've got an unnatural 20.
01:05:29
Speaker
I am away! A dirty 20 as it's known. So they basically spend their first turn and they get a turn to themselves to get this head start. Unless you guys wanted to do anything cheating but you don't see where the kind of party they would do that. Speak for yourself. We'll see how this day goes. So they start to move out and they get quite close to the castle. The castle's about, you know,
01:05:58
Speaker
40 feet from where you start so you won't be able to get all the way up to the wall. Well, if you sprint you'll be able to get to it but they're not able to sprint because they're half cut now and the alcohol's catching them up fast. First up is Tempest. I'll run towards the fog then. Cool, so you're trying to make it all the way to the castle? Yeah, gonna make a sprint for it. I turn round to the others and say okay guys I've got this and then I just sprint away.
01:06:28
Speaker
Okay, okay. One of the jocks moves next and he turns to see total charging at me and goes to make a grapple on him. I'm going to try and take him down. So could you make a strength check, please? Tempest. Oh. Natural of 20. You messed with the wrong compound today, boy!
01:06:58
Speaker
I just imagine like an NFL kind of thing where you've just charged it, you just put your hand out straight, cut them down to the floor. Humiliating hand. Yeah, rather not great. One of his friends turns seeing this and goes for a charge at you. Also goes for a grapple check. Can you roll a strength check please? I'm hoping the alcohol will kick in soon.
01:07:21
Speaker
yeah 10 plus 3 13 you just made that yeah yeah so this other one charges at you and this one you have a bit more trouble with but you're able to throw them down to the ground um it's all that uh shell wax again you can't they can't touch them it's slippery could i turn to the others and say
01:07:46
Speaker
Did you see that? Did you see that? I put my thumb up. My elven eyes do see it. I'm impressed. Uff charges towards you as well, makes up the ground and the leader of the strokes, George, he hasn't focused on you guys at all, he's just making his way forward and he's now reached the bridge over the moat into the castle itself.
01:08:13
Speaker
but he's still got the giant wall to clean. And you can see, even as he's moving, he's moving slower than he was a minute ago. There's definitely something, something's working away at him. Elran, you're up next. I'm just going to run as fast as I can to the wall. So Elran ran that entire distance. Nice. And thanks. And made it all the way to the wall. Morak, that's your turn as well.
01:08:42
Speaker
So what does the displacer kiffy do for me? Basically you think if you're able to sleep with or towards someone it will distract them or you know try the illusions and stuff. There is still one of the jogs, just to picture the scene just now, there's still three of the jogs outside of the castle. Two of them have been pushed to the ground by tempers but one's just about to act. One's just about to act? Yes, I'll do it next.
01:09:11
Speaker
Yeah, you think you're able to do really simple, you know, go there kind of thing with them, not anything complicated with the king. So can the cat understand me? It can understand the gestures and stuff, you know what I mean? It can do very simple stuff. Okay. You think it's betrayed by, like I said, the head of this animal handling collar or something?
01:09:38
Speaker
Anything you'd be able to do for animal handling checks over there, can I? Or you could just filter out. So it would understand me if I tell it to like go over and do something. Depends how complicated. What happens if I use my command spell?
01:09:50
Speaker
Could you read that out to me, please? Sure. You speak a one word command to a creature you can see within range. The target must succeed in a wisdom saving flow or follow the command on its next turn. The spell has no effect on the undead targets. If it doesn't understand you, your command doesn't do anything. Yeah, you can approach, drop, flee, grovel, halt. Yeah, you think you'd be able to give, as long as it's like a, you know, a training race and not like, you know, juggle, you know, be able to do a very basic command.
01:10:19
Speaker
So our objective is to, what, grab our flag? Yes. I point at our coloured flag, use the command spell and go, thatch. Okay, okay. I'll just make a... I'll make a wisdom statement for a disadvantage because it's sort of on your side. Everyone has won, so I don't even know what your spell DC is there because I assume it's higher than two. Yeah, and it sort of pounces forward and starts heading towards that flag.
01:10:46
Speaker
because it's going to run substantially faster than me. Yes, it's got to fail. It really does. It's managed to get inside the castle, catching up with George. As for yourself, how the spell, was that an action? Yeah. So you're only really able to move like a wee bit after like five foot, I think, or something? Yeah. So I'm just going to keep walking towards the castle as far as I can. Cool.
01:11:15
Speaker
picture the scene as the other side of the cell. One more to go. This drop goes to take a shot on Elran, goes to tackle him to the ground. Can you roll a strength saving throw, please? Oh, so it's a strength check? 15. Is that overall? Yeah, that's after my strength modification. Cool. So he manages to get a hold of you. I'm drat. It sort of tussles on my teeth, tussles on my teeth. Get off of me! Ah! Are you?
01:11:44
Speaker
So basically your speed's halved here and I kind of like try to hold on to make sure you're not not moving about here so you're gonna be fighting with him to move the boat. Sorry, he can move at half speed, you can't move at all. Tempest, you've reached after pushing past two people, you've reached sort of the edge of the castle and you can see just ahead of you is about a stumbly George and a cat, a little kitten, has ran past you.
01:12:12
Speaker
As you kind of look now into the castle you can see this large wooden structure still. It looks like a wooden box, just a huge box. And on top of it you can see where the stand where the flags are going to be. Can I move towards the flag? Absolutely. Can I roll a perception check? What are you looking for? Just if there seems anything off with the box itself. Absolutely.
01:12:42
Speaker
12. Yeah you think this looks the woods not as nice as it was outside you think it's quite like it's something that's been covered by wood like by wooden panels as opposed to you know the big wooden slats and things you'll claim it over before. Can I use my quarter staff to product?
01:13:11
Speaker
Yep, so, you hear the sound of basically material hitting material, but you know it's a, you think this is like a cover over something under it. And there's a flag on top, sorry. Yep. Hmm. I stroke my non-existent autobear to go, hmm, I'll move towards the flag cautiously. So you actually have to like climb onto the structure to get to the flag.
01:13:43
Speaker
Yeah, so you start climbing up, climbing up. It's not the easiest, because this thing's quite flat, but it's a bit, there's little steps and holes cut into it, so you're able to get it. Start reaching your way up, so you just reach the top, you can see the flags just ahead of you. And the other two people that were knocked over earlier started giving chase, but they are now moving at a much slower speed.
01:14:10
Speaker
and they've made this way inside the inner castle walls, but they're struggling to get any kind of grip on the claim and the final one, George, the sort of leader, he starts to claim on the inside of the cube, sorry, outside the castle, but he's struggling as well. You can see these alcohols really start to have an effect. They're really struggling and they're swaying about. It looks like a full conclusion for you guys to get this flag now.
01:14:41
Speaker
Elran, you are currently stuck to someone? Yes. Would you like to make a... I'll use double check what check it is. But it's a strength-based check, so you're going to roll a 20-sided dice. It's either strength, athletics, or apparently dexterity, acrobatics. Oh, I can use acrobatics as well? Yeah, I can also.
01:15:02
Speaker
Well, not much help. It's nine. Could I use Presta Digitation to make an item of his clothing smell really, really bad? Like really, really bad. And like, because he's already a bit inebriated and probably more prone to being sick, like to try and make him sick and release me.
01:15:28
Speaker
Can you just quickly redo what Prestige Station does, please? Sure. This spell is a minor magical trick that novice spellcasters use for practice. You can create one of the following magical effects within range. You create instantaneous harmless sensory effects such as a shower of sparks, a puff of wind, fake musical notes, or an odd odor. Cool. Yeah, I've just followed a constitution statement for him that he's failed it. So yeah, as he kind of hold on, he's like, oh, nah, nah, nah. And he just kind of backs off and turns around and starts to
01:15:57
Speaker
starts to try and dry you more but not a good time for these guys at all. Morak it's back to your turn. I'm sorry Uph has just made progress. He's known just for hating Tempest and Morak for you the kitten there's no rate at the top he's dashed ahead and then something to do for the kitten grabs the flag. I'm gonna I'm gonna approach the guy who's dry heaving and make sure he's okay
01:16:26
Speaker
actually yeah I'm gonna get my I've got a water skin up and say here you go get some water down yeah well this is going off the kitten has grabbed the flag if you have two minutes teeth however as it starts to pull the flag you hear the sound of gears and clockwork and mechanical things shifting
01:16:49
Speaker
can tempest is you're actually climbing the uh climbing the cube can you make a saving throw please uh dexterity saving throw okay um dexterity yes please uh oh thirteen yeah that's that'll do um you get thrown off but you're actually just about land on your feet you know you're maybe uh as you're falling back and actually land on your feet um
01:17:16
Speaker
The displace of Kitty is thrown into the air, but at least all good cats do land perfectly on their feet. And George, the team of the jocks, has just thrown, and he has a rough land in his back. What happens is the walls of this cube fall apart, and inside was a cage that now starts to walk, revealing a
Battle with the Ogre
01:17:38
Speaker
troll. I'm sorry, not troll. That's about to start again. But it's a troll level five, isn't it?
01:17:46
Speaker
Revealing an ogre. Oh, shit. Okay. Oh, no. It roars. It starts to try and kill you, I guess, because that's what we always ought to go up to. So we're about to start the road. At this point, I'm just going to write out the jogs characters they are now all integrated in out of it. So just to picture the scene, you have, I guess, four civilians flying around this castle, a kitten with a flag in its mouth.
01:18:16
Speaker
and an ogre standing in the middle of this castle. Tempest you are inside, so it's Uf, Morak you are just outside of it and Elrond you're sort of just on the moore you can see into this where this ogre is. And it's back up to Tempest I believe. What would you like to do? So I'm gonna get my claws out. What does that mean? It just means
01:18:44
Speaker
It just means like 1d6 plus 3 slashing damage. Okay, okay. So... I'm... Right, okay. I'll look over the ogre and say... Get down creature I don't know the name of! And I'll go for the swipe with the claws. Okay, okay. Can you roll 27 dice from the tank? Roll please. Okay. It's 18.
01:19:14
Speaker
Cool, that's a hit. So you charge towards the organ, claws out, take a swipe at it. Could you roll your d6 for your damage roll, please? Okay. So that would be six plus just the dexterity in that case. Five. Cool, five points of damage to the organ. It looks pretty unfazed by your attack, but it does kind of, you know, it's taken him back a bit. Does these claws dig into?
01:19:45
Speaker
Up next is Uth. He takes a swing at it with a great sword. He ultimates the head out of the 13, so plus this AC is less than 13, so that's a hit. And I'm currently juggling two sheets here on my phone. You got those? I cast Belief. Oh, thank you. And T takes a shot with his sword, so it's a d6 for him. And that's
01:20:13
Speaker
That was seven points of damage to the ogre. So again the sword comes in slicing away but doesn't seem to have too much effect either. This thing's a beefy boy. How far away am I from this whole ordeal? From the ogre, I'd say probably 20 feet now, maybe less.
01:20:38
Speaker
I move closer, I have 30 feet walking so I can get within range and with my rapier I make an attack on the ogre. That is an 8.
01:21:00
Speaker
So you just have a particularly, you know, disgusting, you know, calloused over a bit of skin. You're just unable to stick this sword through it as it's just disgusting and stuff. I then cast, I then use my bonus action to cast Bardic Inspiration to guess Tempest. Okay, okay. Cool. Thank you.
01:21:23
Speaker
So basically you start to have the same feel and just play a quick little ditty to get a big bandit and back up. Morak, you see all this going on, what would you like to do? So, I can get a clear line of sight of the creature, right? Yeah. How far away am I from it? Probably about 30 feet.
01:21:42
Speaker
blast. I'll let you slide in if you need to get it. Okay cool. Sounds good. Okay uh. It sounds about a bit fake with the distance as well. So as you can, this is the gold kicking off all you can slide about. That's all right. Okay right so with my shield and my one-handed mace equipped, I'm going to charge in there with a roar, slide the final part of the distance and smack the booger in the shin because I can't reach anything high. All right so uh roll d20 you say right? Please.
01:22:11
Speaker
Please be good, please be good, please be good. 14. Yep, that's good enough to hit. Okay, and so it's 1d6 plus 3 blissioning. Let's roll that. So 7 damage total. Oof, another shot. Between the three of you attacking now, you can see it's kind of starting to get a bit more, this on its feet, but it's still going pretty strong. It goes for a shot with its great club
01:22:40
Speaker
on the total, now time to press. And that is a 13 against your armour class, so I think that will miss. Yeah, can I give the ogre a hard stare? Just after that,
01:23:00
Speaker
I'll let you do it on your turn. It's just coming up. Yeah, yeah. Okay, different. So basically as it brings this club over, you're able to get your shell up in time. You can bring in the rings out as it hits your shield. It hits your shell as it acts as a shield. Up to the top again, it's Tempest. Okay, I'm going to go for the clothes again. Okay, okay. So... Tempest? Nope, it's not going to hurt.
01:23:29
Speaker
Oh no. Similar to Ilran, you just kind of hit a hard bit of flesh, just scraping down. His claws can't seem to get any kind of grip. Uph goes for another shot at the sword. He also doesn't manage to get anything. Not a good round here. Ilran, save us. I'm going to use Thunderclap.
01:23:54
Speaker
So everyone within five feet of me, including my own party, has to make a constitution save and be a 12. And whoever doesn't make that has to take 1d6 of damage. Okay. So pretty much everyone's in range of this because we're all mainly attacking the same character. So if anyone would like to roll a constitution saving throw please.
01:24:26
Speaker
So what do we have to get above sorry? You have to get above 12. I got a natural or 22 there. Hey you as well eh? Yeah.
01:24:39
Speaker
I'm like, the power of friendship protects us! Amazingly, Oof also passed and the ogre fell. Nice, exactly what I intended. I rolled an 18 foot Oof and a 2 for the ogre. That's 3 damage. Damage? Any other effects? It's thunder damage, I don't think it leaves any other effects. Let me double check that though. No, it doesn't look like it. Okie dokie. Morak.
01:25:06
Speaker
We've survived this blue thunderclap. You can see the August got into wheel back. All right, I'm going to repeat what I did last time. Go for the shins, shall we? Let's see what we can do. Come on, come on, come on, come on. Oh, 15. That's going to hit. OK, so D6 plus 3. Come on, die. Die. Oh, 4. Not quite there yet, but you can see it's starting to reel. It's starting to get a bit more bloodied.
01:25:35
Speaker
It's definitely an impact run. Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep. It goes for a shot. Our run has to be hit from the thunderclap. Does 17 hit your AC? Oh, you know it does. You have to ask. Use your shell! I don't have one! We've been over this! So...
01:26:04
Speaker
Is there anything we can do in between combat, like in between him swinging and Elran taking the damage? What would you like to do? Get in the way. Actually, we don't have an attack of opportunity if he goes to move. He's not moved though, you don't try to do that. Oh, I see that, right, okay. Swing back. No, I don't think you can get in the way of someone like that without some kind of feet or anything. That's fair. Hey man, how much HP do you have? Some.
01:26:33
Speaker
Okay. Why? How much is the damage? It's 17. It's 17 damage. Oh, that's, that's me down then. It's okay. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna let you die. I got you. I got you. So the club smashes into, everybody's just kind of flattens under trying to push it off. That's smart. Back to the top of the team total. Um, okay.
01:27:03
Speaker
I don't say it out loud, but I think you should have used your shirt. Is there any way I... If I move in front of Elran, does that mean that I'm going to get attacked? You're all kind of within the same sort of like five foot space because you've all been attacked in yoga, so have you fight to move about if there's something that you want to do? Right, okay. Now I was going to stand in front of Elran and
01:27:33
Speaker
yeah go for the close again okay you've kind of wedged your way in between the um the two do you like to roll uh 27 dice please yep um 60 yep that's a hit six okay and roll for damage six oh yep let's close this time you've dug in right deep maybe it's um as it's leaned over to hit l around with the club you've managed to get into like his underbelly and just scratched it all up see like
01:28:03
Speaker
little bits of blood start to pour out now and it takes a lean back in rows and pain. Uph goes from attack, does not get it. He also just again flailing against the skin. Everyone it's your turn, can you roll a 20 side of dice please? This will be a saving throw. If you roll over 10 you get like a point towards survival. If you roll over 10 you get a point towards death. 18. Cool, you get a survival point so you are closer to stabilising so you're not
01:28:32
Speaker
You're not dying, it was fascinating. Morak. As I said, I've got you, good sir. So, upon seeing Erron get smacked by this club and just drop the floor, I throw my mace down and... How close am I to Erron? Close enough, I like the endpoints and descents. OK, I smack my hand down upon them and use my cantrip to spare the dying.
01:29:02
Speaker
What does that do? So spare the dying it instantaneously stabilizes a creature that's on zero hit points. Perfect. So you don't have to do any of those checks. It'll run you're now stabilized so you're not dying out. What time of hit points do I have? It's still zero but you're not bleeding out. Okay. Behind you, is this displacer kit that jumps over and goes to attack on the ogre as well.
01:29:28
Speaker
Eh, it does not do anything though. Oh, that's a shame. I was so open for the kill. Eh, back to the top. I think, oh no sorry, it was the August time. Aye. I'm trying to be inconspicuous so he doesn't attack me again. That's alright, if he's got to get to you, he's got to go through me. And he literally has to go through me. Eh, he goes for the shot on...
01:29:56
Speaker
Tempest, but I believe it's rolled at the low, it's a 16. That's not good enough to be UAC. I shake my head and give the heart there again. Damn, that shield is tough. Fucking hell, I need a shield made of that. Back up to the top of the tent, that's the Tempest.
01:30:15
Speaker
I crack my knuckles and... You have knuckles? Well, they're torto knuckles. Oh, no, sorry. I pretend to crack the knuckle. And I go for the claw again. Ooh, unnatural 20. Perfect, yep, yep. Seem it's unnatural, but yep, unnatural. Take it. Yeah. Go for the claws again. Ooh, eight. Yep, yep.
01:30:42
Speaker
It's wheezing out now these claws dig into it once again, the same spot. You just hit that same spot twice in a row. You can see it's stomach starting to pop out a wee bit. It's wiggling on its feet. Up next. Oof. Auto lands are hit. That's five damage from him. The sword, so the sword comes across.
01:31:09
Speaker
The sword comes across straight through, basically knows that everyone's just peeling on their stomach here. Same bit. While around you, can't afford to do anything this turn. I'll just do the stabilising. Morak, what are you wanting to do? So, am I still in... I'm still in melee range, right? I'm just saying, yeah. Okay, I'm going to grab my mace that I dropped through to the floor and smack this guy in the shin again.
01:31:37
Speaker
Nice. In fact, no. Okay, you know what? Let's disembowel this guy. I'm gonna go for a stomach shot. This guy brought down one of my party. He's not getting out alive. 15. That's a hurt. Come on, go to sleep. Not being able to do anything else, I'm just kind of lying there in pain, just playing like a little ditty battle music. Yes! 9 damage. Yes.
01:32:02
Speaker
Is that like max damage? Yes, that's max damage. Well
Conclusion and Listener Interaction
01:32:05
Speaker
done. Yep, and that's enough of that final shot, mace to the stomach. You just see it kind of stops for a second, and then eventually it falls backwards. There's a loud thud. I get it. I get it. I get it. I just place a case of pads up to you now. Mora can drop the flag into your hand.
01:32:30
Speaker
I pet the kitty and then drop my shield to the floor and pretty much scrabble over to Elrond, uncorking one of my health potions and tilting his head back and pouring it down. Cool there, was that a 1d8? 2d4 plus 2. Can you roll for that one please? 3, 3 so 6 plus 2, 8.
01:32:58
Speaker
Here you go, so you're back on your feet, stabilized, and now back to some kind of health. And at that point, the halfling crossbow runs down, he's like, wow, you know, that was, that was looking dicey, but you guys pulled through, it was amazing. And he kind of, you know, surveys the scene of the other, um, the other four that are all sort of drunk of the other floor down past, so they missed all that combat. Um, they had a great time. Except for the guy who's like stinks like I haven't.
01:33:28
Speaker
I know, I know it was underhanded of me. I got them drunk on their dwarven liquor, but I have my reasons. Those guys were all show no punch and I don't think I could have it on my conscience if they went out into the world adventuring and getting themselves killed. You did what? I just thought they were really weak because that liquor was nothing to me.
01:33:59
Speaker
No, I am shocked and or appalled. I purified your liquor. I didn't want you two getting drunk. You did what? And Carlos just leaves you to back garden as he kind of walks away and goes, well, when you've when you're done arguing, I'll see you back in town. I think this is going to be the start of a beautiful, beautiful friendship.
01:34:30
Speaker
That was a lot of fun. I hope you guys enjoyed this podcast as much as we are making it. If you want to leave us any feedback or spread the good word about our podcast, you can find us at SDRIpod over on Twitter. And please, you know, drop us a follow.
01:34:44
Speaker
you know, share all stuff, podcasts, live and die on word of mouth, so it's very important you can do that. If you want to give us any feedback, you want to even maybe feature in the show, you can drop us an email at sdripodcast at gmail.com, give us character names, give us magical items, I might do something with them. I might not, who knows? But until next time, take easy.