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Liam Cullinane Part 2: Finding Freedom.
12 Plays1 year ago
In this episode, we hear about Liam's time after the Legion. While some might say tragedy struck, there is nothing tragic about Liam or how he perceives the world. This is my favorite discussion thus far on the podcast. Liam is an indomitable spirit, with a depth of character that is rare, as is the grace that Liam brings to the world.
I am grateful to be a part of sharing his story.
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Transcript
Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:00:01
Speaker
Hello, welcome to Philosophagery. And today we have part two with Liam Collinan.
Liam's Legion Experience
00:00:09
Speaker
Since our last recording, many people have asked to know more about Liam's active duty in the Legion. And because of that, we've decided to do a third podcast, which will be on this subject, another subject.
Post-Military Adventures
00:00:26
Speaker
But for now, we're going to continue as planned
00:00:30
Speaker
and talk about Liam's time after the ditch. So hi, Liam. Thanks for coming back. So how have you been since? Good, very good. Nice, nice. Okay, so the last time we were here, we finished just after you had gone on your trip to the Himalayas. You then went to Egypt.
Commercial Diving Beginnings
00:01:00
Speaker
where you continued some diving which you had started in the Legion in the Special Forces. Just a couple of dives. A couple of dives in the Special Forces. And then you went on to Fort William in Scotland to become a commercial diver. So how did it feel arriving at Fort William in Scotland first with this new adventure ahead of you?
00:01:28
Speaker
very heavy for the thing in Fort William regarding the weather. If you can't see Benevis, Benevis is the highest mountain in the UK and is very close to Fort William. If you can't see Benevis, it's raining.
00:01:59
Speaker
If you can't see benefits, it's about to rain. Okay. Under a cloudscape in Fort William, when you look out over the bay, so see you're going into work in the mornings or into the live in school.
00:02:25
Speaker
the school would be on the coastline and then there would be a pier with all our diving gear out at the end and that's where we do our training well most of it and when you look up onto the bay the clouds would be whispering by
00:02:53
Speaker
bit like flags lost in the wind, and they'd be fluttering about three feet above the ground.
Mountain Rescues and Challenges
00:03:07
Speaker
So it was a spell like you had the weight on your shoulders all the time.
00:03:15
Speaker
The first time I kind of attempted to climb Benewis on the weekend of work, I got about 400 meters off the mountain, and I was wearing Gore-Tex here, had a bag with, yeah, sleeping bag, baby bag, all that kind of stuff, just getting it was needed.
00:03:44
Speaker
and the 400 meters I turned back after the decrease and the following weekend the sun was off but I saw breath all the necessary year for that just in case a situation and when I got to the top of Ben Nevis
00:04:10
Speaker
There was families with young children having picnic and they were all dressed in shops and t-shirts. But the thing is, the majority of cases that involved the mountain rescue teams in the Scottish Highlands, they pick up
00:04:37
Speaker
Mainly people who were dressed in Shof's t-shirts and sandals. They got on a beautiful sunny day and suddenly bam! It would be an exaggeration to say they're suddenly caught in the white house but similar situation.
Diving Perspectives: Egypt vs Scotland
00:05:02
Speaker
Yeah, I suppose when you
00:05:03
Speaker
I mean, you change altitudes as well and start going up. The weather is already different up there before you've left, but a lot of people don't notice that. I think it's a lot of the mountain rescues in Ireland and stuff are similar. It's people dressed wrong, you know, not prepared. So like you said, you arrived up to the top of the mountain in Gore-Tex gear. After coming back from the Himalayas, I'm sure you had all the proper gear, like for a mountain climb. And the locals are up there in their shorts and t-shirts.
00:05:31
Speaker
the whole shebang, but still, if the weather changed, you weren't the one in trouble. Very good. And how did you like the diving at first? Like the diving in Fort William, when it changed from the recreational diving you had been doing in Egypt to kind of, OK, this is going to be worth knowing. Was there a different approach to it? Yeah, there was definitely no
00:05:59
Speaker
touristic, seen them both in the hub. I remember diving in the Ross Muhammad National Park. She's a top lug. You could feel a shadow passing over you and you look up and it's fully
00:06:23
Speaker
The amount of rage was cruising over your head. And you'd be looking at the long tail, thinking, hmm. Yeah, all very, very scenic. Pretty incredible. And Fort William, the water is so black.
00:06:56
Speaker
No, it's over in the west coast of Canada, about two hours north of two hours, a two hour drive north of Glasgow. And how long were you there? It was three month course. Yeah.
00:07:19
Speaker
And even though there wasn't the natural beauty evident in the Red Sea. But all the technological stuff you'd be working with was really interesting.
Career Aspirations in Diving
00:07:39
Speaker
You'd be learning about mixing gases for deep dives and stuff. No, the first level is just straight.
00:07:48
Speaker
normal air diving and the maximum depth would be 50 meters or you'd be training with hotwatt versus all that kind of gear. What exactly would have been the job that you would have been hoping to get after that or did you have one lined up? Was it diving on oil rigs? Was it diving welding ships? I know that there's a lot of different jobs for commercial
00:08:15
Speaker
Yeah, the aim would be to work on the Wixen or North G, but yeah, very early on, you realize that that's a niche market to only experience diagrams with retrains as gas diagrams.
00:08:40
Speaker
then go up there so to become the color saturation diving.
00:08:47
Speaker
You have to want to qualify for your basic gear diving. You have to do, oh, I've used worth of logs before they qualify you to train as a saturation diver. And then it might have the possibility of working on the north seam, stuff like that. But once again, it's niche markers.
00:09:17
Speaker
It's a niche market and it's a year's worth of logs and it wouldn't have been as easy to get that. It's what you got in Egypt when you jumped off the ranks because there was no other tourists around. The Scots were different, it was a bit more, a bit more legalistic about them kind of things. Most of the first years might be when they in jobs like parking on fish farms, cleaning those out or
00:09:47
Speaker
Cleaning barns and coats of the hulls of ships ad-hoc. Okay, yeah, tough work I'd imagine that. Yeah, I imagine it's not at all stimulating. Yeah, I must say maybe you dodged a bullet. What do you think? Yeah, the first year would mean a big bullet.
00:10:13
Speaker
Well, my aim was the saturation diving and eventually training as a dive coordinator. So you'd be on the surface controlling the divers and
00:10:38
Speaker
That was the plan. That was the plan. Yeah, but it sounds like it wasn't just a plan. You just thought up, well, I'm going to take this next step. Like you said, you had planned, you knew it the first year was going to be like it was going to be tough, clean of brandicas, but you saw further into the future as you were going to be supervising
European Adventures and Training
00:10:58
Speaker
these. So you were a very future orientated kind of person, I think, you know, with serious plans and heading towards
00:11:06
Speaker
Well, that's fine. First of all, I don't know how realistic this is to envision yourself as a saturation diver and then suddenly becoming a diacordinator. I don't know what that entails. I'm with the girls.
00:11:33
Speaker
Excuse me. With the girls, the first year, I thought of that as a bit like basic training to do the crappy stuff. And then once you've done that, the rise, the horizon really opened up the world. Yeah, I get you. I think that's the way it is of a lot of stuff. But you were obviously not prepared to do the crappy stuff. You were like, okay.
00:12:02
Speaker
There we go. From when I went from basic training to the para regiment in Grofsegol. The journey alone was incredible. Driving through the Karthigen mountains, that's what this was before they constructed a really good motorway system in Grofsegol.
00:12:30
Speaker
driving from these hairpin bends in Corsico and you could see quite a few cars that had fallen off the road when they were rolled over and tumbled to the bottom maybe two or three hundred meters down the hill before they stopped
00:12:55
Speaker
tumbling over. And then the gates, the gates of the camp, when they pulled up, was looking round, absolutely certain this couldn't possibly be our destination. It was so immensely beautiful, really.
Health Crisis and Recovery
00:13:21
Speaker
The regiment
00:13:22
Speaker
And then the scenic back drop at the bottom of the valley, the Karthikin Mountains just go from sea level to above.
00:13:40
Speaker
maybe, I don't know, 1,000, 2,000 meters high, Andres. It's not that a few reversible walls, yeah, be over a few miles, but it dramatically goes up. And when you're looking at from the seashore, it's astounding. I think we're in danger of going into part three here.
00:14:11
Speaker
these descriptions from lame we can think of them as a teaser for part three that's common but okay let's go back get back to forward and you were training hard become the diver and then what was your first inkling that something wasn't right first inkling
00:14:35
Speaker
of the panel to make the training. I had a problem with the teeth, a wet tooth, and I went to a dentist, and the appointment was, I think it was five o'clock, and at six o'clock, my head was
00:15:03
Speaker
exploding. When I see exploding, it felt like it was a little shit with a slash hammer smashing on my brain. And I just put that down to how bad it was. So they had to do something. And was this, you had gone to the dentist, then you had gone home and this pain started?
00:15:31
Speaker
or even before it got on. So within, within minutes of leaving the dental surgery that this had been started. And I was sick of lab life. And the next day, the training, all the physical stuff was done. I was also
00:16:00
Speaker
my paperwork to be done. I was asked by one of the staff members to see it after. This was Friday. My plan was Saturday morning.
00:16:24
Speaker
Get the bus down to Edinburgh, meet up with Harry, my brother who was doing the university thing down there. Just have a fun weekend in Edinburgh. And on the Monday, I was flying to Holland.
00:16:52
Speaker
to start a new life, a new chapter in the career, and indeed a new chapter did start. Yeah, it did start differently to start, but there was no thought given to the question of
00:17:18
Speaker
but I wanted to go and see a doctor on the Friday, although I was thinking about it until Saturday morning, and I remember finding how
00:17:35
Speaker
I can remember finding exactly if one of them was feeling better off. I honestly thought I'd be fine by Saturday morning. I just thought I was an extra bad dose of something like that. And how were you Saturday morning?
00:17:59
Speaker
Saturday in the morning doesn't really exist in my consciousness. On Friday, after the paperwork from all the days were done, they were awarded our certificate. And by lunchtime,
00:18:28
Speaker
the cokes were done. So I went went back to I was thinking about a holiday apartment. I was alone. And I went back to pack time bags on the Friday afternoon. And I lost consciousness. And I I was found by the
00:18:56
Speaker
the cleaning lady on that Sunday morning unconscious in the shower so you lost consciousness and the Friday you finalised your three months of the course you'd finished that you were going to Holland to start this new chapter in the career you went home to pack to go down to Edinburgh you lost consciousness in the shower and you were found on Sunday so you'd been there
00:19:26
Speaker
40 hours ish yeah roughly i i only know about the whole show then three because
00:19:38
Speaker
I went back to 4th volume in 2013 for my 20th anniversary. I didn't notify the driving center, although I had previously been in touch with them many years before. Also, I'm with a friend just to let them know
00:20:08
Speaker
while they were with you were telling me that it made me laugh. They said you were found in the shower on Sunday. And that made me laugh because back in leeching times when you'd be feeling ruffled, especially if you were hungover,
00:20:35
Speaker
Just happen a cold shower for a few minutes and you come up and then they all set to go. So that was probably my thinking on the Friday afternoon. Just go for a cold shower and you'll be fine. What was the shower running when they found you? I honestly don't know but
00:21:03
Speaker
Yeah, my gym probably was God, that's that's a that's that alone is a scary thought to think that you were for the hours under a cold shower I I don't don't think I was actually under the culture on the water that would probably out being ancient in the medical laws Okay, but yeah, but yeah, okay, so you were
00:21:29
Speaker
It's amazing how your thoughts, whatever training, the training kicked in, even though it wasn't exactly like military training, but the training to have a cold shower, you'll be fine. So that's what you did. I mentioned the medical notes. They were highly entertaining.
00:21:53
Speaker
Well, well, to be truthful, I had to bring my medical notes to my GP to get him to read them back to me. Dear God, I couldn't read the scribble. The doctor's right. The doctor was so harp-pushed.
00:22:19
Speaker
They were just writing out about 300 miles in no more. So I think there was a problem of being exposed to cold water for their life. It would have filled up in the north because
00:22:40
Speaker
Like you just said about having all the years, the cortex and all that for growing up maneuvers, I also had a lot of, well not a lot, but I did still have, I don't know why, but I still had
00:22:59
Speaker
all the drug stuff
Impact of Illness on Life and Mindset
00:23:02
Speaker
I bought with me to the Himalayas just in case I got exposed to high-gal tissue sickness there was drugs that
00:23:17
Speaker
the onset of symptoms for a couple of world wars and a couple of world wars might just give you nothing to get all the dangers to eat.
00:23:35
Speaker
For some reason, they were still in my bags when the police were called by the cleaner to come and get me along with the ambulance. The police went through my bags and stuff.
00:24:00
Speaker
And because your friend will laugh through drugs, it was suspected that maybe I was some kind of drug addict. Oh, no way. So that was mentioned in the news. Also, the stuff like they tested me for HIV, a whole spectrum of tests and stuff. Just because
00:24:37
Speaker
I'm not sure did we say the reason I entered up in hospital is because I'm jumping the
00:25:00
Speaker
The last thing you remember before is packing your bags to go to hell. When's your next moment of conscious awareness? I'm not sure of the exact date.
00:25:13
Speaker
but my first lucid memory is waking up in bed and Hardy was of my best size and Hardy, he had a huge heart and he can diffuse to most
00:25:37
Speaker
insane situation. I make it seem totally reasonable. And he told me what's back small. Hey, man, you could be frigging awkward when the gutter is very rare of disease called maimed erectus. And on top of that, still smiling.
00:26:07
Speaker
you would go and get a very, very, very into of that already real disease. I made you feel special straight away. Yeah, exactly. Okay. On that death stage, I had, I had no mobility. I couldn't move my legs, no my arms.
00:26:36
Speaker
Well no I lied I could move my right arm a little but I couldn't move my leg and my view was only was my eyes could maneuver around to see so I was mad
00:26:59
Speaker
was where I was in the room couldn't see what was on the right or the left of the bed to see there was a door leading into the room and on the ceiling I was popped up by pillows on the ceiling there was a camera there was a camera looking down at me
00:27:27
Speaker
And I was wondering what we were doing with the camera looking down on me. That was just to keep an eye on you, I guess. Yeah. And so what was, I'm sure you know now, even though you probably didn't know exactly, what did the meningitis do? Why couldn't you move? What was it the meningitis had done?
00:27:57
Speaker
The Mandic Chagdas, first of all, I got a strand of the Surya. So, the Mandic Chagdas, the Mandic Chagdas, is called the Surya. Mandic Chagdas, the Surya is...
00:28:22
Speaker
in the environment, even if you're walking on the grass in your garden, you're exposing yourself to the bacteria of the studio.
00:28:40
Speaker
But for the research, long after I left hospital, it turns out that 10% of the human population have the Listeria bacteria living in their stomach.
00:29:01
Speaker
in their digestive tract, but as long as it remains in their digestive tract, it's finding no risk of harm. And the damage to the body,
00:29:23
Speaker
It was first walled with the brain and it attacked the brain stem. The cerebellum and the cerebellum is a bit like the conductor of an orchestra.
00:29:44
Speaker
So all the musical instruments can be playing away in an orchestra, but there's only when they're under divine control of an external conductor that all the noise making turns into this fantastic music.
00:30:08
Speaker
And if the brain is your orchestra, the cerebellum is your master conductor. So without the cerebellum in control, all the messages going to the brain, sorry, going to the body from the brain, they are lost. Fine tunes. So...
00:30:36
Speaker
you have the cerebellum is at the brainstem it's at the back of your head if any as we said in the previous show i've watched the old martial arts movies and somebody'd karate chop somebody in the back of the neck it'd basically knock out their cerebellum and their whole all the signals to their body and they'd drop and that's still true today there is a place there and
00:31:00
Speaker
It actually means baby brain, cerebellum. And so the music you're talking about is actually played in like the front lobe and the occipital lobe and the different part, the other parts of your brain and the language central parts of your brain. But the cerebellum is what controls all your movement, what controls the nerves that create those movements and transmit those signals. So there was nothing really wrong with your leg or your arm or such.
00:31:28
Speaker
It was the controller. It was the conductor that was down. First of all, before I turn near that, the karate chop to the back of the head. Unless you're sleeping, things are quite so simple in karate.
00:31:54
Speaker
It's an excellent form of combat, but once again, it's not like Bruce Lee would have the one. No, and I doubt that in karate there even is such a thing as a karate chop. I'm talking about the one like Sean Connery done as James Bond, you know them ones. But the idea behind them was they were hitting the cerebellum. You know what I mean?
00:32:24
Speaker
But yeah, no, of course, of course, they're not real. So yeah, so you walk up in the bed. The conductor was down. Was there any other part of your brain affected? I mean, you seem like a very lucid, intelligent man. Fantastic memory. You're funny. Like your speech is a little bit off.
00:32:50
Speaker
And to see you walking, you can see that there's an intense amount of concentration that has to go into every step. But you seem very intelligent. You seem very with it. So is the conductor the only one down? The orchestra is still all playing the tunes? The orchestra, especially the guys who perform the musical instruments that give the
00:33:18
Speaker
color, the high range, like, vibration, they were not affected. Though for the first six months, where the with this trauma, and the amount of drugs I was given, I was, I was, yeah, once here in La La Land, for six months,
00:33:44
Speaker
But my group on reality was very far from reality. Yeah. Well, I imagine there must have been like there's a hyperdrug still giving you. But it's a huge shift in everything you had been going towards. And now you're suddenly here. There must have been a huge kind of emotional
00:34:11
Speaker
readjustment. It doesn't even come close to saying the truth, but there must have been a huge shift. It was a big challenge, but I was extremely lucky. No, no depression. No, poor me. No, no anything like that. And I remember vividly telling a visitor
00:34:42
Speaker
that in six weeks I'm out of here but it didn't turn on me that it had already been well my past six weeks that I'd already been in hospital but you had you had no
00:35:04
Speaker
You had know why me, like I put myself in that in that in that shoes. I'm straight on crime for a week after I come conscious again. I'll probably come out the other end somewhere, but. That that that sense of know why me know, oh, Jesus, how can this happen to me? I'm so unlucky. No sense of that was that. Did you ever have a sense of that ever for anything or was
00:35:30
Speaker
Was that a strength you learned along the way, you know? No, not so much along the way, but the legion had a huge, huge influence and a bad way of thinking.
00:35:51
Speaker
stop flag being a legion man they would take everything from you and it seemed like they were asking you to do to reconstruct everything that has just been taken away and you be thinking this sense is possible
00:36:16
Speaker
but there will be senior guys in the team and well I sent the team in the unit and they start working you being of a lower rank you will just follow the overalls follow their example and next thing what you thought was impossible was done
00:36:45
Speaker
So as soon as Harley left the room I got her tongue in and I saw it as a challenge and I... I can't say I knew but I said to myself okay whatever I've done I've done and got me here but I'm going to do everything to get out
00:37:14
Speaker
And I vividly remember who, I think about four or five months after
00:37:27
Speaker
The whole scenario started. I'd been transferred to the head injury unit for the head injury unit of Scotland. I'd been transferred there.
00:37:48
Speaker
It was an ad-pro, an ad-pro, incredibly scenic, beautiful grounds. And it was that handy for Harry, who was just five minutes ago for him. And I remember there was a hill in the grounds. And Harry brought me up for a walk,
00:38:18
Speaker
I see a crowd within the wheelchair and he was doing the walking and we got to the top of the hill and he just hopped up in the back of the wheelchair on the handles.
00:38:34
Speaker
straightens our head down and we went queering down the hill. What's it been doing? I don't know. Maybe 30 mil doing up with crazy speed and the hill.
00:38:53
Speaker
Gradually, even though we came to a standstill, and that adrenaline buzz was of heaven to me after once of being confined to
00:39:10
Speaker
practically norm of site stimulation and then we want he pushed me in the shoe onto the grass lawn just outside the
00:39:27
Speaker
the world and I managed to climb out of the wheelchair unaided and I sat on the time craft I could feel my butt getting all wet and I was thinking to myself I don't hear I will unravel thank you so much
00:39:56
Speaker
and my eyes tickled over with tears. I hadn't been able to cry in several years beforehand. But, say, four or five years, because 1980, when I made farewell to my dying mother under that bed,
00:40:22
Speaker
That was the last time I cried. And the closest I came to that since then was with Harry when I was bursting my ass laughing with joy. Harry was looking at me with those arms both saying,
00:40:46
Speaker
yeah you better watch that laughing look people my my star thing in your red lula i love your continued laughing and for
00:41:04
Speaker
call it paperwork reasons of paperwork reasons of paperwork things I thought the brain injury unit did work out and they wanted to get rid of me when Harley was told by my consultant they wanted to get rid of me
00:41:32
Speaker
I wanna fight the wanted with me no nothing on and when Harry asked why the console told them because your partner is never going to get better and when my Harry told me that that's when I found out why I was in the Legion
00:41:58
Speaker
Because when Hari told me that, I just smiled just to myself.
Philosophical Reflections
00:42:06
Speaker
I'm sad to myself. I'm...
00:42:12
Speaker
Same listener, we don't do that shit So the choice was to go back to Ireland back to Galway which when I went to the region in 8.5 I didn't plan on returning to Galway but
00:42:38
Speaker
other than returning home on holiday visitors, holiday visitors to see my family. So the choice was either Ireland or back to to the hospital in Glasgow. So I went back to
00:43:03
Speaker
went back to the hospital in Glasgow and a couple of days later I've been trying this thing for quite a few weeks where I feel myself to
00:43:22
Speaker
The end case of the hospital in Glasgow I feel myself over to the base of the bed. Crap holes of the frame on the bed.
00:43:40
Speaker
asked myself after the wheelchair into standing, I had to go and try to stand unaided and I almost immediately lost balance of course with the handrail I could immediately grab hold and stabilize myself but for a split second
00:44:11
Speaker
while our spirit of our split seconds, tiny. I managed to sense and hate it. So I knew then that they were, I knew for sure they were talking for lonely back in Edinburgh.
00:44:36
Speaker
and I immediately feel myself asking to do curdles or the words curdle and used for public phonebacks from Harry and Harry was my rock. Today was through Harry that I communicated with the outside world
00:45:03
Speaker
very few people could understand my Chinese dialect of
00:45:11
Speaker
of whatever language I was speaking but hardly could even understand me over the phone and I told him what had just happened had he properly thought to himself and he said well done stop with the big smile on me and off I went
00:45:41
Speaker
What year did that happen? To 1993. It's now 2024. It's a long time ago. And now you can be seen walking around town.
00:46:11
Speaker
obviously not walking as easily as everybody else and still concentrating and fighting every day for all those steps. I have seen you as far out as Claire Galway on your tricycle cycling and you're the one who was never going to get better and you're the one who was going to go into a nursing home and you're the one who they were telling
00:46:37
Speaker
Pretty much it's all over for you. How did you get from there to here? I know you've Harry and you've a lot of help, but you live alone, you live independently now. And that's very important. How did you do it? I mean, most of us struggle with life, with our conductor working okay, with our cerebellum pretty, working okay.
00:47:02
Speaker
There's, and not only that, every time I see ya, it's like there's a smile hiding behind everything you say. Like there's a sense of humor, there's a sense of fun, a sense of enjoyment about life that I often don't get off everyday people when I'm talking to them. They do more moaning than anything else. So this is what I'm curious about being genuine is, is I've given you lots of praise and different things like that and you never take it.
00:47:31
Speaker
I feel like you feel you just are what you are rather than, rather than it's something to be proud of. You just seem, I just, I just am. You just seem to get on with it every day and just, I can only imagine. Call it awareness. Awareness. Awareness. Awareness.
00:47:57
Speaker
of the fact that it all started according to how cool solar time is. Which I don't understand. Even though I'm seeing it, I can't honestly visualize how it's possible.
00:48:21
Speaker
everything started in this thing called Big Bang which haven't so many years ago that's also beyond comprehension something like 13 billion whatever the billion is that once again to me is beyond comprehension but the little libraries of it
00:48:51
Speaker
Some people say it was like they're splitting the atom in a nuclear explosion. Other people say it was like a grapefruit explosion, a grape precise explosion. To me, I think of it as a hand grenade explosion.
00:49:18
Speaker
But in that hang grenade everything originates from that. So those five stars you see and even further ones we get pictures of from NASA telescopes based on the Earth's happens fear, Hubble and all that. And then
00:49:47
Speaker
That thing in the wall over there. You, yourself. We're all from the same spot. So from where I get there, this simple phrase, no one is better than me. No one. But I'm better than no one else. That's a beautiful way to think of it.
00:50:17
Speaker
Or more, a more egalitarian way of expressing that there's no one is better than me but I'm equal to everyone else. So if you see some
00:50:41
Speaker
some drug attacks pecking on a street bridge somewhere opened up on or some guy driving an awful roomie of that road with a nice nice looking woman in the passenger seat everybody is from the exact same place everybody is equal
00:51:10
Speaker
And that brings to my mind that phrase we get from religion, especially the Christian religion, even more so a Catholicism, this thing they call original sin.
00:51:36
Speaker
I could be talking completely lonely and I'm sure there's plenty other who would burn me at the stake for singing it but I think the original sin mentioned in the Bible has been misinterpreted through the translation in various languages
00:52:07
Speaker
and the whole question of sin and the opposite of sin comes down to a line a dividing line together a guy like Hitler okay I know he had mental issues he was a complete rookie
00:52:34
Speaker
if he had this way he would have continued to go on conquering and conquering and killing and killing until there was no one left other than himself and one other human being but there are a guy like Hitler and a guy like me
00:53:02
Speaker
The only difference to me is that he was more on one side of the line than I am. We can all be on both sides of the line, but at some times one side is more or more obvious than others.
00:53:31
Speaker
about a famous line, the line between good and evil runs, and even the ideas of good and evil are just, they themselves are funny, funny concepts that don't necessarily explain. I think that you seem to be describing a kind of deterministic view of the world.
00:53:57
Speaker
And it's a view that kind of, in a way, negates free will. And a lot of people think that free will is important and that if you don't have the idea of free will, then how are we going to blame people for things? How are we going to hold people accountable? And I understand that, but there's a freedom that comes from realizing that everybody is pretty much the same. And, you know, there's a freedom that comes from realizing
00:54:28
Speaker
that pride and shame are the same. There's very little to be proud of and there's very little to be ashamed of. You know, and if we kind of drop them a bit and people just, as you were saying, regard, we don't see the guy in the rich car. We shouldn't look at him in the big car and the pretty girl beside him and all the nice clothes. We shouldn't think at him and think, God, he should be proud. He's better than the drug addict who's on the street and looks haggard
00:54:57
Speaker
I mean, one of them is a lot more pride than the other one. But I think it shows that pride is the original sin for me, for me. And it's pushed on people. OK, we've gone a bit deeper, which which was expected. It is philosophically and you early in culinary. So I was going to go to. You said something to me, though,
00:55:27
Speaker
before that really made me think and it really wasn't something I expected you to say about that time. And you said there was a strange sense of freedom. And I thought about that for a long time. And would you go into that? Would you explain what that sense of freedom was? Death of the equal. When I first came to
00:55:56
Speaker
After lots of stuff. Trying to forgot.
00:56:02
Speaker
See, see when I was in the coma. It was about the last three weeks. But looking at the mental illness, it was just one week of pure coma and threats was probably from all the drugs. Yeah, that had me at first with the trauma as well.
00:56:30
Speaker
But, but, June, in that time I had horrendous dreams. And I knew I bought some hospital. I was fully aware of it. And in my dreams, all these people in Waikou were trying to kill me.
00:56:51
Speaker
With all the medical infections, it was countless blood draws and lumbar punctures and guys drilling holes in my head and so on and so on.
00:57:10
Speaker
It was fun to live with all the details but most of the vlog and failure and crazy stuff like... I can't even pronounce it but it just makes me think of the comedy drama... I'll find that as a clue.
00:57:40
Speaker
And his dirty beer stand fast. Yeah, I remember that. The program, no matter how many times you've seen a particular episode, is still fragging hilarious. So I was in very weird that I was under two challenges. And when I woke with time,
00:58:10
Speaker
seeing all my body and figure out that everything was still there and with their knowledge how you just portrayed me of having a man who is like this. I didn't know what man the shite is was. I heard of it and the only thing a new father was that something you do not want to get.
00:58:40
Speaker
so I knew I was in a terrible state I lost a lot of weight as well and I pictured myself as a bag of skinny bones
00:59:00
Speaker
And when he eventually licked me out of bed into a wheelchair, I could only hack sitting in the wheelchair for maybe one or two minutes, first time. And that's when I went to look at what turned out to be a sink and mirror beside the bed. I fell and I wasn't aware.
00:59:30
Speaker
And when I went to look in the mirror, I paused before and closed my eyes and cut to myself. Place yourself, place yourself. I looked in the mirror and I could see
00:59:52
Speaker
the face of my father my father when he was a young man he was incredibly beautiful very very thin though and I had a look and I was pleasantly relieved to see that but the eyes my eyes
01:00:21
Speaker
They weren't human, they were just black, like a devil. No sign, no spark of life in them at all. And I was thinking, man, that's something to work on. But going back to the death of the ego,
01:00:44
Speaker
I knew that nothing much was working but to regard her body it looked like a shrinking old man I was 20 seconds after time thinking so this is what they feel like to be 76 and when
01:01:10
Speaker
I managed to sit in the wheelchair for a while. Probably a week or two, maybe three or four later.
From Physical to Intellectual Journeys
01:01:19
Speaker
I had no idea of the timeline. But I had double vision. I had to blink to see just one image. If I open the second line,
01:01:40
Speaker
I had double vision and the room I was in with the camera on the wall was the observation room in front of the nurse's session in the ward and there was a big window looking into the room and over there was the wheelchair, it shows me the wheelchair, looking out the window
01:02:10
Speaker
My eyes full, so I could only see one image of the traffic passing up and down the world, doctors, mainly doctors, few patients, attitude, nurses, and when you haven't cleaned your nostrils for
01:02:36
Speaker
a long time the amount of garbage the build up is fascinating and I was sitting there in my wheelchair when I closed my fingers stuck up my nose looking out into the ward into the corridor all these people passing by and I
01:03:06
Speaker
I did not care how ridiculous I looked. The sense of freedom, the death of the ego.
01:03:19
Speaker
I prepared for all the San Diego Rio with the many characters being in hospital. I would pick strong hands of mine. I knew it in the week. I didn't want to advertise that fact. I didn't want it.
01:03:42
Speaker
but I was highly aware of keeping up the image of being really strong man walking with a proportion looking to be his knees
01:04:00
Speaker
being the next Legioner and all that. And I didn't. It was very few people outside the hallway who knew I was in the Legion. But after all that, that mistake of the Legion, I still carried that on my shoulders, which was, it was a burden to have that done in your mind all the time. And suddenly,
01:04:30
Speaker
I no longer needed any of that. I was in the bed looking like a scared crow and I didn't care. I was like a mama's boy.
01:04:52
Speaker
I was born on my mother's party. I was there for Cheryl and her family through the connection with fairly close. And you could see in wake getting away from go away. Okay, wasn't an escape from the routine.
01:05:15
Speaker
The duet in Galway you pulled out with mental is green, getting with and not getting to a place where there was this nonstop adventure, change in culture, total change in your daily exposure. But there was also a little bit of
01:05:43
Speaker
Captain Ray from being a mama's boy. You could say that. You always say the most unexpected things to me. But the freedom. The freedom from the ego. So as you said, you were a big, tall, handsome, strapping man.
Health, Nutrition, and Lifestyle
01:06:08
Speaker
Ex-legionaire, so you probably walked around with that Legionnaires merch.
01:06:12
Speaker
Not that bad. I bet a bit of it stayed in your strut there. If you walked around a lot like that in day to day life, you'd be like... You see, it's like...
01:06:37
Speaker
You knew you were it, but you also had awareness of how that could come across as a poster. So you seem to have a down at that time that you were like, you didn't need to try, as in with that stuff. But you still carried a weight, as in you almost carried like the labels of I'm a big, strong, strapping man. I'm an ex-legionaire, I'm adventurous. But what comes with all that is
01:07:07
Speaker
what those things then are expected to do or what the outcome of being a big, strong, strapping man, legionnaire, they have their own expectations of what you're to do with that then. So when the cerebellum went down and your body wouldn't exactly concur with those things anymore, it gave you some sort of freedom
01:07:35
Speaker
to think and to plan outside of the expectations that had been put on you by this life you had lived, which was a great life, less not like, but it still had its own burden of expectations to go and do these things.
01:07:48
Speaker
my life up until then great are you determined it was truly physical all I wanted to do was find the highest mountain back to the deep sea all physical adventures the simple things like
01:08:16
Speaker
falling in love, even loving all those humans normal.
01:08:23
Speaker
unconditional love that had no place really in my horizons so even on my pretty entertaining physical life suddenly ended there the print down and because it opened up a tiny tiny little
01:08:50
Speaker
spot of light, a bit like the spot of the big bang. The world, my awareness changed. I actually became about, well, the multitude is impossible to calculate, but I became quite a bit bigger. A bit bigger in your own mind, in your air.
01:09:23
Speaker
Yeah. So strangely something was taken away from you and then the legion they thought, no, they taught you that's just the beginning, the beginning of what you're to create now. And you were creating something out of that little spot that you saw you like. And so could you say that with what happened with your physicality being stripped down like that, did you take an intellectual turn? Did you become
01:09:52
Speaker
more interested in intellectual pursuits, in thinking about the world rather than acting in the world, perhaps. I definitely suddenly had more time.
01:10:09
Speaker
I love the most time and my thoughts about what this world actually is. And maybe if there weren't countries right now, but maybe in the future,
01:10:29
Speaker
we might investigate what a little, little chink of light that has been in my brain has become. Oh, we will definitely go into that in a further podcast. Just a little bit about you now, actually, Liam, because you're still a big, strong, strapping, handsome man. Thanks.
01:10:54
Speaker
You're in great shape. I'll try not to let that affect my head too much. I think you're well capable of blacking out the ego. The door to the room is narrow enough. Hopefully my head will just fit out. Your head might put your shoulders like it does. But you're in really good shape. I mean, you're not a young man anymore.
01:11:24
Speaker
But you're in better shape than many young men I see going around. Myself, you're in better shape than me. My young fellow trends a lot. And he's really into the gym and eating healthy. And you may even be in better shape than him. But yet, you can't do all the physical activities that other people do.
01:11:44
Speaker
So how have you maintained that up until now? But other people struggle to maintain that with, you know, with fully able-bodied people. How do you maintain being in such good shape and looking so healthy? Do you remember? I can't remember what was called, but David Cardin, and he was a kung fu expert. Kung fu, that's the word. Kung fu, yeah.
01:12:14
Speaker
So I remember as a kid watching him and thinking, how does he do that? How does he know? And now I know. I know that the vast majority of the stuff we learn in life is complete rubbish.
01:12:44
Speaker
A simple thing like, you know how people in general put cow milk in their coffee? Yeah. And the other people, yeah, being winners of being vegan and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. My use, my use, soy milk. Yeah.
01:13:11
Speaker
and I'm nothing against soy milk absolutely nothing except the particular formula of soy milk so a good organic brand of soy milk
01:13:32
Speaker
I might have a couple last number there and be because it feels really nutritious. Give you a pack. I've been like, you know, after a good double extra, so you got a pair. I get that from a good host. Couple soy milk.
01:13:57
Speaker
Well, that's the brand of animals I get in a healthy shop. That brand isn't available in the supermarket for most people by their groceries. Yeah, I get it. The brands in the supermarket, sure, they're a little bit cheaper.
01:14:24
Speaker
I don't know the exact pricing maybe 10-20% cheaper but the difference in quality is not possible to quantify. I know from personal experience if I have a cup of soy milk from the supermarket brand
01:14:55
Speaker
I will feel terrible. And not just feeling physically, I won't be able to mobilize. Well, I actually, on the last time I experienced this,
01:15:19
Speaker
not an author to a foreign or living in Galway stop me in the street and he wanted to put me into a taxi and go home later and he was going to pay for their taxi fare and I was like no thank you I'll be fine actually I got home okay so to
01:15:47
Speaker
I know that if I spend financially 10% more to have a good quality, produce quality of produce, I'll get a much better life. And that knowledge applies to almost every aspect of life.
01:16:13
Speaker
So it seems to be a quality over quantity thing here when it comes to food, like stuff that we put into our body, stuff that we ingest. You should always think about where it's coming from. What are the added ingredients? Just because it says soy milk on the package. Look at the back, see what else it says. Check out the brand. So you look for the purest, most whole, most closest to the source.
01:16:44
Speaker
A few tons of toy brands in this farm market. Read the list of my greetings.
01:16:57
Speaker
maybe maybe not the soil brand itself maybe some other produce they'll by and large be full of stuff you can't understand you never had but a simple one is sugar when when they started to crack down on that the manufacturer smart lads excuse me
01:17:28
Speaker
the food industry is an industry being full of smart people they make money they provide employment all good but they do stuff like they can't use
01:17:46
Speaker
over 60 different names as ingredients in the produce and all those names are sugar so to my list you might just read a list of ingredients and in those readings there might be two three four maybe more
01:18:16
Speaker
forms of jar, names for sugar, variants of sugar, and just think of the little guys that live in your valley, the bacteria, yeah, when they're being hit by all of those, all the stuff they never encountered before. Yeah. Imagine going to the tub for pint of Guinness. Yeah.
01:18:47
Speaker
You're licking your lips, thinking, ooh, there's something unusual about the taste of the goodness or the beer, whatever that may be.
01:19:01
Speaker
and then you find out on further investigation that the manufacturer has been putting in little droplets of sugar to make the beer or the Guinness taste better
01:19:23
Speaker
Whereas to most people, I might do, but to you, you might detect that it tastes a bit different, a bit strange. Yeah. And like, you have an intense awareness about, and as I said, you're a great shape, you look really healthy. Is it a case of like, you have to be
01:19:49
Speaker
top level of health for proper brain function, for proper to get through your stay. Like what other people can do at 50%? No. No. No, trying to be the top level is highly stressful. Okay. Look at the athletes. Yeah. The guys who do 100 meters.
01:20:17
Speaker
I think even the slowest of them is in really 11 seconds. It takes a huge amount of preparation of harbor to get out there, to get to that stage. They can only perform like that, now and again. I get you, yeah. Not all the time. Okay, I get you. Okay.
01:20:44
Speaker
okay well then that was probably an exaggeration saying top level by me but if you think about it like you told me the story about the bad saw you milked you had and it made you feel tired and you had that's a that's a a keen awareness of your own body and the impact whereas I could imagine me having that saw you milking because I'm I drink shit and eat shit a lot of the time it probably I could still I could still get through the day you know I mean I could still
01:21:14
Speaker
I don't even like the word diet. For starters, it's called the word diet.
01:21:28
Speaker
diet is like ink but there's also diet that means death so doing something that involves the context the concept of death probably doesn't play well in your mind just think of it as nourishment
01:21:52
Speaker
and then all those listeners out there who are thinking about losing weight, losing weight. I don't think that plays well on the mind as well. When
01:22:14
Speaker
When, for example, you lose keys for your car, you lose them, you hunt their own, you find them. It comes back eventually. If you lose weight, you're gonna find this. Fact. Okay, so. You see a lot of advertisements about try this, try this, try that.
01:22:43
Speaker
He believes X amount of zone in a week, a month, a year, whatever. But what you want to see is the, you know, the before, after photos. What you really want to see is the after, after. The after, after photos. The one that's taking 10 years down the line. There's no, no point.
01:23:12
Speaker
device you do, no point engaging in something especially something you don't enjoy if if you can't possibly see yourself doing a 10 year tunneling or 50 year tunneling that's a good point do we I think nourishment keep it simple, keep it real
01:23:39
Speaker
If you only had a choice of three things to eat for the rest of your life, not just to move on until next week or up until the end of the year, up until Christmas, what would you eat on Christmas day?
01:24:04
Speaker
10 years from home every single day if you only had the choice of 3 foots and just out of general city we'll add salt just to give it a taste but not that super mac and salt that doesn't solve real salt
01:24:32
Speaker
sea salt or Himalayan salt which is full of minerals which are packaged as mineral supplements which are pretty expensive but sea salt yes it is more expensive than your standard table salt which isn't actually salt but sea salt is much more beneficial much more friendly to
01:25:02
Speaker
The week I was living in your darkest wreck and three greetings. Me personally, I go for spuds.
01:25:17
Speaker
Spuds all the world and some form of high quality meat save steak oh yeah even better not that is readily available elk or mousse something wild I've never eaten elk on mousse but yeah I'd love to taste this
01:25:46
Speaker
I love to taste it as well. There's something about, I won't digress here too much actually, but I really like what you're saying about diet there, so you're basically saying, just keep it simple, keep it real. Never mind the big words on the back of packets, because they're not the packets you should be looking at anyways, you should be looking at the whole foods basically, the real sauce, not the cheat table sauce.
01:26:15
Speaker
OK, Aleem, there's a lot of good advice about health, I think, and I won't use the word diet. I'm going to say nourishment. Do you have anything to say? There seems to be a big uptick in people looking to live a healthy life now when youngsters go into the gyms and taking all the supplements. Do you have any advice for them? We could be here all day talking.
01:26:46
Speaker
In many ways I'm physically stronger than when I was 16. I'm carrying less injuries and I'm definitely more agile. I haven't been to the gym for a few years now. I really miss it and I'm really becoming aware of
01:27:16
Speaker
shrinking, muscle shrinking, the fancy medical term for that sarcopenia, all humans, and for that phase of life, not sure when it begins, probably as early as 30, your body actually loses muscle mass as time passes,
01:27:46
Speaker
I will get back to gym and rebuild that muscle. But there is a thing I call gym class, college gym before the gym. So the biggest weakness with me, I only find that stuff.
01:28:14
Speaker
after I got sick is my pelvis is the the weakest part of me and my pelvis is super strong compared to when I was doing young laws when I was doing young laws I remember I had rupee training
01:28:36
Speaker
And when we be talking of everybody made the movement of Nietzschean when they were getting dressed. And there was one guy... Oh, sorry, I'm getting that. The wrong world. Everybody made movement of Nietzschean. But there was one guy who became Nietzschean.
01:29:06
Speaker
to...
01:29:09
Speaker
That was the first one when you would be tying up your laces on your boots. Everybody would bend their heads onto the knee, tie their laces. There was one guy who would do the opposite. And when I saw that, that rainbow was part of his normal way of moving. So he would be standing up straight and he'd just bring up his leg to his
01:29:39
Speaker
objects sitting down, but he bring his knee up to his chin, tied his laces, and when I saw that, that looks painful. But then, when the dead body
01:29:58
Speaker
became immobile when it was like I was playing a game of things in ladders and I got to that high point in the game. Just before reaching 200, I stepped in a ladder and that brought me back to zero. So my thoughts, seeing it as a challenge was to
01:30:29
Speaker
rebuilt from 0.0 and I was going to incorporate that nation movement which started in 95 and upon the servitiating it for me it was extremely
01:30:53
Speaker
easy to injure myself and if I injure myself I would take months for the wine to recover so I could start training that movement again and both times it got easier and easier and easier and the ball
01:31:21
Speaker
Five years ago I started hyperbaric oxygen therapy and for some reason it made the movement much easier, the groin muscles.
01:31:37
Speaker
felt very little strain and now I do a double knee chin movement whenever I'm doing stuff with my feet so when I'm getting dressed in the mornings I sit on the skull that bench
01:32:01
Speaker
and lean against the wall for wellness and I do the initial movement and I get dressed when I'm drying my feet, when I'm putting on my socks, when I'm putting on my shoes, when I'm tying my legs and that's one of the gym before gym movements I do.
01:32:30
Speaker
movements. I like that. It's gym before the gym. It's preparing your body to do harder things, I guess. What you're saying is these can be done in the everyday movements. The thing is that movement, you don't actually do that at the gym. And so that is building the kind of
01:32:56
Speaker
supporting little muscles and tendons and ligaments that you're not going to use on say the leg press machine. Yeah. But yes, the movements that you do in the gym before the gym will stop you getting injured and the leg press machine will make you give you different more flexibility. Another exercise I've only recently started doing this as part of my routine. You can do it in bed.
01:33:27
Speaker
You're lying on your back. And the only part of you in touch with the bed is your heels and your shoulders. So you're flexing upwards from the pelvis. And at the start, I could only
01:33:53
Speaker
We heard that for a split second, the hamstrings tended to like it at all. For years, even still, I'm prone to heavy camping at night of the hamstrings.
01:34:11
Speaker
they recommend taking magnesium for that the supplement magnesium which definitely does help but with me in particular it just runs straight through to me which isn't exactly
01:34:36
Speaker
recommendable but if you tick FF16
01:34:44
Speaker
immediately before and after the ingestion of magnesium it doesn't run straight through you. FF16 is a phytobiophysics formula. The FF is short for phytobiophysics. It's about 20 quid. You get it in the health shop.
01:35:14
Speaker
When you buy it, it'll probably last you two or three months. But that kind of helps your body absorb the other... It helps your body deal with magnesium. So it doesn't just drop your digestive system. So the little guys in your stomach that you were talking about, it chills them out for what's coming next, magnesium.
01:35:44
Speaker
They're very important. A recent podcast views the subject of oxytocin came up
01:35:57
Speaker
Yeah, that would be Dan talking about his moral violence. Yeah, and there was a wee guy in the digestive tract called Lactobacillus rotary, which is an western population, the western world, sustained Europe. It's partially instinct and everyone
01:36:27
Speaker
But when one dark guy lives in your darkest tract, assign signals to the brain 24-7, oxytocin please, there are a lot of hormones. And suddenly when you've got that, you exude, what's the word? Empathy, you exude empathy.
01:36:58
Speaker
After the world and you get empathy back. I think we've just fixed the Western world. So you say lactobacteris is, and I know you're right, lactobacteris is in your stomach, it's a bacterium and it sends signals to your brain.
01:37:22
Speaker
Give us some oxytocin there, which as Dan was saying in his podcast when he was on, is the love hormone. It's what mothers get when they feed their children. It's an empathy drive towards other people. And you say it's nearly extinct in the Western world. Not much bad, but just a lifestyle. A lifestyle is this and just.
01:37:52
Speaker
The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,
01:38:24
Speaker
when I'm exposed to Bluetooth, it's massive problems for me. And, okay, you could say that I'm perfectly prepared to say
01:38:48
Speaker
Yeah, that's most probably 100% true, but I'm a human being. Like you. Like that lad over there walking down the street with the Bluetooth speakers stuck in his ears. Bluetooth might be okay.
01:39:13
Speaker
for the lower two, but without a close proximity right next to the brain stuck nears. That very much, that is beneficial.
01:39:29
Speaker
All that kind of stuff just adds up, adds, adds, adds. So far you've got toxic in the environment and we could be here all day talking about the sumo-to let me give you me and everybody listening a headache. That's true. That's true. I just
01:39:57
Speaker
I sent some friends of mine that they found microplastics now in penises, apparently. A good friend of mine, his first question was, who was looking? But they've just found it now. So that means it's probably been happening for a long, long time, probably since we started using plastics.
01:40:27
Speaker
From the god you brought up the taffery cloudward penis. Okay. Okay. You've picked my interest here as to why you're glad I brought it up, but okay.
01:40:46
Speaker
Because earlier I mentioned a simple way of thinking about how to enforce yourself in terms of food. And you know that I realized what two or three items that were fairly essential or could be essential. But the simplest way of thinking
01:41:13
Speaker
But when I'm being produced in a supermarket or whatever, it's my hands. Sometimes I'm looking at this product and I slit the button in my backside reading the little reading inside the back. I just looked at it and think to myself, I wonder if that's good for my cock.
01:41:44
Speaker
which I would highly recommend to every single
Closing Reflections and Gratitude
01:41:50
Speaker
user of medication that controls cholesterol. Because if there is not enough cholesterol in your body, your cock will fall off.
01:42:12
Speaker
You could see that a play of words or a slight success, but it's a scientific fact that every single cell in the human body requires another good supply of cholesterol. And it's also scientifically shown a proven cholesterol
01:42:43
Speaker
has zero effect on the heart. Well, and that's just to not leave people without penises out of this conversation. I just like to say, I recognize myself. I mean, I've a lot of women in my life and I feel like women's bodies are more complicated than men's.
01:43:08
Speaker
they have a lot more going on I genuinely feel like they're a lot more in touch with kind of nature and the moon and you know a lot about them a lot more going on I think I've you have read up on some stuff that's happened to the female body during pregnancy
01:43:30
Speaker
it's insane but you picked out a very important point there when I mentioned the word of maybe as far as a lot of us men get to thinking about what's important and so basically an axiom when you're thinking about food rather than trying to work your way through all the big words and learn all the science is for men to look at it and say
01:43:56
Speaker
Do I think this will be good for my cock? That could be an excellent way to think about it. Simplified. Because you can very quickly come up with yes and no answer to that. Catch it really easily. Yeah. Simple stuff. That most men are in tindoo. It's a good massage. It's a good gym. It's a good swim. It's a good exercise.
01:44:24
Speaker
But the thing massage was for me, the best massage I ever had was the first time I had a massage. I was in my early twenties. It was an old woman. I'm not sure if it was bankrupt, but it was definitely silent.
01:44:54
Speaker
It was a fantastic experience and she was actually standing on me and she had me lying, she was twisting it all over and she kept saying, you long, you long, you long.
01:45:12
Speaker
And I'll try not to burst my backside laughing too badly because that afraid you won't be interpreted in many different ways.
01:45:28
Speaker
but a massage or soft massage especially that's the one we're spending on how statistic you wanted me but you can get guys to ram elbows into your body and if you can take that it works backwards and your body functions so much better
01:45:58
Speaker
And I have no scientific evidence to support the claim that a good massage that loosens up the body probably has beneficial effects. Not just your cock, but your secure performance.
01:46:27
Speaker
Yeah. And yeah. And it probably has an effect on things like oxytocin and stuff too. I think like even just the human contact part, there's something to it. Like how often are we in that close of contact with people? You know, I'm getting pushed and elbows and stuff. We could probably get a robot to do that, but I don't think it'd be the same thing.
01:46:50
Speaker
I don't think you want to be talking to them. I see a male third best for the sports massage. A guy called Adrian Craddock is really good.
01:47:07
Speaker
Yeah. I don't think we'd have enjoyed that conversation while talking about the oxytocin facts of his elbow rubbing my back. No, absolutely not. All right Liam, I could keep this conversation going for another three hours because...
01:47:35
Speaker
I'm going to ask you one last question. It's a question that I've come up with that I'm hoping to ask all of you. Is there an epiphany you've had in your life that you think has an epiphany that you had that you could never go back to before?
01:47:52
Speaker
Before I answer that, I'll just say we've been chatting and chatting and chatting and I never mention anyone who's helped me along the way of thousands, even of tens of thousands of people.
01:48:10
Speaker
who helped me and I could rattle off easily dozens of names but I simply forgot to mention dozens of others for just saying thank you to everyone but even though I don't actually know thank you and as to Epiphany
01:48:37
Speaker
When I said goodbye to my mother, she died of cancer in 88. I was in regiment, in parallel regiment, the corps had got their time and the
01:48:58
Speaker
Loved me to go home, she was in the hospital, in Edinburgh, not sorry, not my home, she was in hospital, in Edinburgh.
01:49:10
Speaker
And when I made the final farewell, I never evolved my eye job like that before and found it extremely painful. All the muscular, muscular sure of the wish was
01:49:34
Speaker
really painfully under strain and I've never come close to being that emotional expressionally emotional. So in a way you could say that reverse is 50.
01:49:58
Speaker
Yeah, I closed up my, it fills my heart. I closed up. Yeah, and time it will open up again.
01:50:14
Speaker
But I think that won't happen until I bow my eyes out. And yeah, I think that will probably happen when I get from two. I forget the exact term. But have you heard why you was school?
01:50:38
Speaker
I heard some guy talking about how does the female, but does another, have another ceremony which is male counterpart. And he tried that one, great benefit. So I didn't think I'd probably try the male one.
01:51:03
Speaker
At some stage. Okay. And then... The struggle in that world by the female, the ayahuasca. Okay, that's... God damn it, why didn't I ask that question at the start of the podcast?
01:51:27
Speaker
But okay, there's a lot there that we're gonna dig back into next time now. Yeah, so next time is gonna be about Liam's time in active service in the Legion. And we're gonna come back to the things Liam has just said next time too, because they're super interesting and there's a lot to go into there. So listeners, thanks again for your attention. Say goodbye, Liam. Thank you everyone for your time.
01:51:57
Speaker
Ciao Ciao