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Discipline
104 Plays6 years ago
K and I explore our thoughts about discipline, how it is commonly perceived, some pitfalls for celebrating self-imprisonment, personal experiences with being considered 'highly disciplined' people, and how we see it in the health and fitness industry. Our goal is to provide you a thought provoking and empowering approach about a misunderstood topic.
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Transcript
Return and Reflections on Absence
00:00:02
Speaker
Hello. Hello. That was a weak one. We're back. Took a couple weeks off. Again, I feel like that's how we started every podcast in November and December, October, November. I don't think we've done one in December. No, this is the first December one.
Balancing Projects and Podcasting
00:00:25
Speaker
We took a break, one or two weeks. There was quite a bit of podcast type activities going on. Yeah. So for people that are not media producers.
00:00:42
Speaker
It was a bit much, but it was good stuff. It was just, we did the strong fit podcast and did two strong fit podcasts rather. And I was like, okay, we can sort of work on some other projects that we need to, to focus on versus that.
The Nature of Discipline in Podcasting
00:01:02
Speaker
So, ironically,
00:01:05
Speaker
that notion of like, should we be disciplined to do a podcast every week? It's the topic today we're talking about discipline. Should we just have done it just to check that box? Yeah, be more disciplined with our podcast. But I think for the past few weeks, we it was good. We had a lot of stuff out there. Our goal is to provide value. I think there was content out there that definitely was helpful for people.
Exploring Passions in the CrossFit Space
00:01:32
Speaker
So
00:01:32
Speaker
Yeah. And if you have no idea what we're talking about, um, Google, YouTube, podcast search, whatever strong fit podcast, and you'll see both Kay and I, and then me talking, we, we talk about our passions. Uh, you lead the charge with the cross affiliate space. Mm-hmm.
00:01:55
Speaker
and trying to elevate and evolve that because it needs it. We're in a time now where, um, this relates to the discipline topic as well, where people just punish people.
Discipline in Fitness and Personal Growth
00:02:10
Speaker
And unfortunately people buy into that. Uh, and we understand we've probably been there before. So we're using our
00:02:20
Speaker
decade plus year of experience, as well as refinement with just what the, what the point is of, of fitnessing to help global change, which is cool. And that's definitely thanks to, you know, your, your pursuing of your passion.
00:02:42
Speaker
And then I do one about between the years and kind of my story and a bit of that. It's kind of cool to hear Julian and Tyler converse in that setting, you know? Where it helps, I think, just provide more well-roundedness. So listen to those if you didn't listen to them. Plenty of stuff out there. Plenty of stuff out there. They're long.
00:03:09
Speaker
But they're good. There's a lot of value in there. Even if you're not an affiliate owner or do crossfit, you can still think about health and movement the
Rethinking Discipline Beyond Tasks
00:03:15
Speaker
same way. So that being said, we were undisciplined and did not record. So we've been kicking around the idea the past couple months of looking a little bit more into discipline. Discipline is a word that
00:03:35
Speaker
is very easy to say. And it's a hot topic. You know, obviously thankful to people like Jaco who wrote a book about it. You know, discipline equals freedom. I see that it's a very commonly used hashtag. It's a point of emphasis. Everybody needs discipline. And we both agree that discipline is a positive attribute. Yeah.
00:04:03
Speaker
Nobody's saying that discipline is not a good thing to have in your life. No, I don't think anybody's going to say, Hey, go be less disciplined or go purposely beyond disciplined. What are some issues though, with discipline the way you see it?
The Trap of Misguided Discipline
00:04:20
Speaker
I guess I feel like it might be a false, um, it's a little bit of a trap because it's kind of like, it's like, ironically, I think Julian, they said this, they use this example, like,
00:04:35
Speaker
Three plus two equals always equals five five does not always equal three plus two. Yeah
00:04:41
Speaker
And in many ways, discipline can be like this. Like if I do these things, it will equal something. And I think people get more, or the trap is to get more focused on the checking of the boxes, the discipline. I did this. I restricted myself from that. I don't see, I'm doing the work and what gets lost is why or what's the process or finding balance.
Finding Balance in Personal Discipline
00:05:06
Speaker
So I think it can be polarizing and I think it can be a little misleading.
00:05:10
Speaker
And so from my perspective, that's a little bit of it, I think. You're a highly disciplined person. Yeah, I am a highly disciplined person. That's harder for me, like you said, when you just said that about we wouldn't tell someone like be less disciplined. And then I thought, well, for me, that might be helpful. So my pitfalls with discipline is I end up doing too much. I'm so rigid that
00:05:39
Speaker
you know, while it feels good to be productive, sometimes just doing what the paper piece of paper says, isn't the right fit for where you're at that day, but because it was like, well, then I'm not disciplined. So then you do it. And then, well, if it wasn't really a good fit for you that day, where does that lead you? So for me at this point in my life, in terms of fitness, let's say, I
Flexibility vs. Rigidity in Fitness
00:06:04
Speaker
don't,
00:06:04
Speaker
I'm not the person that's trying to get into a good fitness routine. I'm good with that. I have a good relationship with fitness in terms of I'm not going to fall off the wagon and yeah, you're never not going to work out. Right. So someone sure that is like hasn't worked out in 10 years is looking to like make a big change, lose a lot of weight, really change their habits. Like they've been in a place with maybe no commitment to exercise. Like, yes, they probably need.
00:06:32
Speaker
to like not go with how they feel that day. Like I don't care how you feel, you're going to at least like walk around your block. Like you have to do that because it has to set some sort of, you have to sort of become that person. But once you're there, I think it can be too restrictive and that becomes more challenging than you have to really match up like,
00:06:56
Speaker
Am I not doing this because I don't feel like it? And we've said that a lot. Am I just being lazy? Or is it the right call for me to not just be super disciplined and do this today because I'm tired, I'm getting sick, whatever.
Evolving Discipline with Personal Growth
00:07:09
Speaker
Yeah, I think there's.
00:07:12
Speaker
One, I think that discipline is usually looked at in the same way as mindset as a singular thing. And it's not. And I think when you have figures like drill sergeants, like, you know, wardens, those teachers that everybody's had, that it's been like, you know, whatever.
00:07:32
Speaker
Those have all been discipline imposed upon you by somebody else. The dogs are absolutely going crazy. We put the dogs in our room and we're literally not going to have a bed or a table or a lamps. Anyway, we'll let you know how that goes. Yeah. So discipline is usually in my, in my observation, something that people, um,
00:07:55
Speaker
feel an oppression with, feel like there's this, someone else is imposing a will upon me. And, um, and it's, it's very, it's driven in punishment. And that is not discipline, you know, now.
00:08:18
Speaker
I think with somebody who in the workout routine, yes, they have to work through some of those feelings.
Challenges and Misconceptions of Discipline
00:08:28
Speaker
But once we're beyond establishing a habit, you know, I think that that's then where you can look at discipline being something that shape like ship shape. Shifts its shape.
00:08:43
Speaker
to match you where you're at. But matching you where you're at is really, that's the thing. That is deep within you to figure out.
00:08:53
Speaker
Yeah, like what is it going to what is it going to be today? You know, we see quite a bit of these challenges. I mean, I did one and I guess doing one like quit the coffee, no sugar, that whole bit. Would you consider so so you did, you know, strong foot put out a no fix November. Yeah. So but would you consider that a challenge about discipline? So I think. I mean, I didn't even really think of it in that way.
00:09:22
Speaker
Uh, I feel like getting up and not having coffee in the morning is that you're being disciplined about not drinking caffeine. No, see, this is my thing with discipline. It's not fucking what you do. Like me not drinking caffeine doesn't mean that I'm being highly disciplined. Me going to the gym every day, me waking up at four at me, doing this, this crazy stuff doesn't mean I'm being disciplined. Like I don't think that that, no.
00:09:49
Speaker
Well, what would what then is what do you find in
Authenticity as the Core of Discipline
00:09:52
Speaker
your life currently? What are you disciplined about? What is being disciplined? I think what's being disciplined is having that connection to something that you really believe in and being able to express it independent of not independent of but in consideration of I guess your environment that you find yourself in. So it's almost like being disciplined is having a
00:10:18
Speaker
let's say purpose or reason or mission or passion or whatever. And actually like being aware enough to like execute that every day. So for you, not drinking caffeine, not having sugar, it was for a reason of like learning about yourself, figuring out what you might have been leaning on and covering up emotions with. So being disciplined was being looking at that desire to be, um,
00:10:46
Speaker
Like learn about yourself and have a life of integrity. And so, yeah, I think, I think discipline in many ways is an ultimate form of authenticity. And that's where like you can look at what somebody did and from the outside be like, Oh yeah, see, they were disciplined. So for example, actually, well, coming up, I haven't had alcohol in 10 months. That's been fucking easy. That has not been hard.
00:11:15
Speaker
Is there discipline in there? Yeah, there's discipline in there, but not because I just haven't had the alcohol. That's the difference. You know, going to the gym, doing these different things, working out, pushing yourself, like exploring whatever it is and having the consistency and the commitment. You know, I think the real discipline is being able to be authentic while there are still those challenges, while there are still those, yeah, I don't really feel like doing it. You know, and I think that this is the thing I see or I believe.
00:11:45
Speaker
Anybody can hold their breath. And a lot of this stuff. You're just holding your breath. You're not actually changing. Well, when you think about discipline from that, like I get up every day when that alarm gets goes off at 430 and I.
00:11:59
Speaker
work out at 5 a.m. It almost feels like like you said before like this burden you're carrying and at some point it's going to break you. Well maybe for someone okay but that's the thing like maybe for somebody that doesn't maybe for somebody like you know for for example if they can only work out at 5 a.m. I don't know how the 515 a.m. class does it I give them a ton of credit like and a tremendous amount of respect for them
00:12:25
Speaker
And I've I've done plenty of workouts way too early to be living. But that's the thing, like I was forced into doing quite a bit of those. These people are choosing to now their situation might provide such, you know, limitations and influence
Holiday Discipline and Pendulum Effects
00:12:44
Speaker
it. So it's like it either happens or it doesn't. And then it's like, right. So you have to then choose
00:12:51
Speaker
like who am I gonna be and be authentic with that. And yeah, it comes with accepting that things are maybe not all that convenient or they're going to be challenging, but it's at that moment that you then get to choose. And the reason you're choosing and actioning it and expressing it, that's the fucking discipline, not because of this external thing.
00:13:16
Speaker
Right, so when the discipline is about sort of these tasks or these external things, I think that's when it has a tendency to eventually just be, how long can I sustain this until I break? Yeah, and that's the punishment. And that's where a lot of the challenges are a 30 day, a 75 day, a whatever. A year, a year, yeah. So it's kind of like you're just waiting for this thing to be over and do you have the discipline to
00:13:40
Speaker
I, we were told out, I think it's, so we kind of started talking about this more recently because it's like, okay, it is a decent time to talk about it. There's the holidays. Um, I didn't have any treats on Thanksgiving. Didn't have carbs, didn't have my carbs, like processed carbs, wheat carbs. Like I've had like vegetables and stuff, but, and that was easy to do. Um, and somebody might be like, well, that's cause you're super disciplined now.
00:14:09
Speaker
with nutrition the past year, I haven't been. Like that's the thing, like I haven't been. So what is it that makes somebody disciplined? And I really do think it's that, it is that connection to that authenticity and fucking giving yourself the permission. Stop saying so much. Our listeners don't want to hear that.
00:14:29
Speaker
Sorry, giving yourself the permission, the agency, the invitation, the nudge, whatever it is, to actually step into that and to be there. You know, I think it's, I really feel strongly about the misperception about discipline being starvation.
Discipline and Superficial Measures
00:14:50
Speaker
Um,
00:14:53
Speaker
punishment. There's different cultures, different religions, different sects of people that build that into it. And I do think that there is a specialized case for some of that stuff.
00:15:12
Speaker
Usually when the pursuit is something remarkable and life changing, there's a little bit of that. Okay. You're going to have to, there's still a purpose behind it. There's a purpose behind it. So I think that that, and I think that, you know, we say this a lot, but, and I don't love the expression, but it is what it is. Like learning, there's something you're, you're growing, you're developing your, your,
00:15:39
Speaker
getting insight about yourself in the process. So if the discipline was to sit still and meditate, for example, for 30 minutes a day. But again, why are you doing that? So you can say I sat still and I meditated for 30 minutes or I'm doing this every day. I'm having that discipline because I'm committed to what comes up for me or how I grow at the end of those 30 days. But I do think
00:16:06
Speaker
often the rigidity of the discipline, it ends up trumping the why. I think people end up too focused on the checks and the, I did it and not really on, and it's very similar to how we say like, it's not about the what it's, it's kind of like the how like, you know, when you combine how and why you start to see powerful change. And, and I agree. I think a lot of the discipline is the what and you know, for some.
00:16:38
Speaker
I guess I want to also recognize that it's not avoiding discomfort. It's not about having grit and resiliency. That's not it. But that does get a lot of, that's a huge badge of honor. Some people are disappointed to hear that between the ears is not you just screaming at them or holding plank for three hours. And they're actually disappointed about that.
00:17:09
Speaker
But it's like, is that. What is that getting
Informed Choices During Holidays
00:17:14
Speaker
you? Well, you know, what's funny about that is like you want to between the ears thing and this might well, whatever. Stand in front of the mirror naked and look at yourself for 15 straight minutes.
00:17:28
Speaker
Yes, OK. But or what I'm saying, but but that's that's really like the essence of some of what we're doing versus do air squats for 15 minutes. Right. You didn't learn. You might have learned something about yourself, but you really learned something about yourself when you look at yourself. And, you know, I was texting with a friend this week after she listened to the podcast and was saying, hey,
00:17:57
Speaker
Yeah, I didn't really understand what between the ears was at first. Like I thought it was this tough guy who's a green beret, just like punishing people, basically, you know, and like, I certainly understand that there's some of that. And I've been open about like, that's not what it is. And I battled the judgment and the perception of that. But, but like the discipline is the same way with that, where it's not just like this
00:18:25
Speaker
crazy what you did you made it to the end kind of a thing um and I think that it then becomes way more varied and it then becomes like much more exposing too you know if and so the holidays so we started talking about that I think you have if you're someone who like yes you want to enjoy the holidays okay well then what is what do you mean by enjoy
00:18:54
Speaker
looking at why you're maybe let's just say having cookies or treats or cake or whatever. You know, and I think it takes a trip. I think it takes
Cycle of Deprivation and Indulgence
00:19:03
Speaker
more discipline to say, yeah, right. I'm going to have this. I'm going to have a piece of pie. Then just, I want to hold my breath and deprive myself for the next four hours.
00:19:17
Speaker
hate the fact that I can't be in a social setting and seem to participate or trust myself enough to only have a taste of pie and have it be that and it's like so then what do you want to do do you want to write exactly so do you want to learn about yourself
00:19:37
Speaker
Or do you want to prove to people that you're somebody that you're really not? Because that's the thing, like you're really not that person. If you're not that person, then what is that, that, that artificial sort of, it's like cramming this thing into a box. And so the, the discipline on, I think holidays, that one of the pitfalls, I think, or the aftermaths of this discipline that's focused on these external things is it ends up being a pendulum shift. So you go, like you said, this full on deprivation,
00:20:07
Speaker
And then the other side of it, and that's what I asked we mean by like the discipline, the type of discipline that's very much focused on like, I can't do this. If I do this, if I don't do this or I do this, that's what it means. That's like a good or about a check or a check minus. Yeah. So yes, there are a lot of challenges out there, influencers that are putting out these challenges. Okay. It's the holidays. You're going to do this. You're going to do that leading up to it. And then,
00:20:38
Speaker
Then the drop-off is like, all right, it's Christmas day, your challenge is over, and you can't control yourself. And then you go, and then you're in a worse place. And it's very confusing, I think, for people. I think the average person's like, I don't get it, but I was so good for this month. And now I can't stop eating whatever. And it's like, well, right, because you never stop to say,
00:21:06
Speaker
And this is a much bigger topic, but like, why do I want the piece of pie? Yeah. I want the piece of pie because it's my grandmother's recipe or in a like company of like my family. The setting is great. I was relaxed. We're enjoying it. And so enjoying that pie, that piece of pie was fine. Um, or why do I want the piece of pie? Because I had one taste. I'm completely now.
00:21:30
Speaker
I've not tasted sugar in a month and it's gonna go blackout mode and I feel like I've been
Aligning Discipline with Internal Values
00:21:36
Speaker
deprived. And so I don't know what's happening or I'm just gonna eat this pie until I feel sick. So that's where I think it masks that stuff and then it takes you to the other side and then people just end up in the cycle. I do a challenge, I survive it, and then I go right back and I go over the board. And I gotta have a challenge to reset. It's like the discipline is, the discipline to say,
00:22:01
Speaker
I don't think I, for me, the discipline I need is to say, I don't need to just have artificial external discipline in my life every day. I did this, I checked that box, I did that workout, whatever. I didn't have a cookie. It's the discipline to be like, okay, what's behind some of these things? And the discipline to say like,
00:22:24
Speaker
It's okay if I miss a workout and the discipline to connect to what I think. Yeah. And it's like, why did you miss the workout? You know, that's another thing. Like, why did you miss the workout? If it was just a function of missing the workout, you know, or cause then it's like, well, what is it going to be every day? You're going to work out every single day and maybe for now you can, but you're certainly not going to work out hard every day.
00:22:45
Speaker
Yeah, and you broke yourself. And you tried to do that. And of course, that was all of the CrossFit competitor group and the games and regionals athletes. Like, yeah, right on. That's what you might need to do. Same thing with professional athletes. But a professional athlete playing ball at 40 is a legend. There's a reason why. Now, maybe not a golf or some of these other sports. But when you put your body and mind through traumas,
00:23:15
Speaker
That's a, that's, that's a young man's game. Unfortunately. Um, you see more and more people in the NFL retiring three, four years down the line. Cause they're like, yep, nope. Uh, this is like not never. And I think that discipline with, uh, you know, to pull, to go back for a second, you not eating the
00:23:35
Speaker
you not eating the treats or the this or the that, you know, are you not doing this? Or if it's focused solely on the completion of something and then you fall off the wagon, because inevitably that usually happens. There's usually a regression.
00:23:50
Speaker
You were not disciplined. You were just lying to yourself and to everyone else. Yeah. And that might sound harsh, but that's what was happening because you didn't change fundamentally who you are. You didn't express really who you are. And if who you are is somebody like from in my example, over the past. Let's just say a few months or whatever. I was somebody that started to have a very casual and not intentional relationship with sugar.
00:24:20
Speaker
and didn't have a healthy relationship with it and was starting to like, not like abusing sugar. I wasn't like, like eating Skittles, you know, in the bathroom in the corner or something, but it was just not, I, I understand that there's certain health benefits and I understand there's certain psychological pitfalls that come with higher sugar consumption. And I understand all of that. And I don't want to be somebody who
00:24:45
Speaker
who subjects themselves to that. I wanna be healthy. But my actions weren't aligning with what's important to me. And so that required something more drastic, like removing all of them, like sweet potatoes, nope. The only thing was leafy greens and this and that. So it is discipline, but it's discipline that's relative to because of who you wanna
Personal Challenges and Deeper Reasons
00:25:07
Speaker
be. The actual result of the action is not the discipline.
00:25:12
Speaker
You don't do something and then say was it disciplined yes or no you look at it before you do the action as a driver and say Okay, what's the discipline here? Well, I think it's so aligning yourself being authentic expressing all of that I think that that's the thing and it's not it's not lying. It's not lying to you Yeah, and and for me, I mean I've had years of discipline. I mean I was
00:25:36
Speaker
I went through like, you know, being in an eating disorder where I counted every single calorie and a successful like I was disciplined day was like eating less than 800 calories. I mean, that's insane. Like I look at that now and it's like.
00:25:49
Speaker
But it was such a, it was such a burden and it was like, it was so out of fear and out of like scarcity. Like that was the driving force behind all of it. So it wasn't discipline. You were just imprisoning yourself. Right. But in my mind, I mean, or, and you know, when you look at people who don't maybe understand all this stuff or like what's going on, it's like, you're so disciplined. Like you, you can't eat the cookie. Meanwhile, you're in like a yourself, imprison yourself. You hate your life.
00:26:19
Speaker
And then that presents itself to the other thing. Is it about external validation for people saying, wow, you're really disciplined? And then that fills you up in a very temporary way versus I'm the person that I'm going to have a cookie. Oh, you broke. I'm disciplined and I didn't eat that.
00:26:38
Speaker
that with food and then with training. I mean, it was the same thing. I want to be disciplined. Who cares if I don't feel good today? I'm tired today. I just kind of want to spend time with my kids. I'm going to the gym. I'm going to do that workout, and that box must be checked. Or what is it saying about me? And it's like, well, what is it saying about you that you're going to leave your kids in time you could spend with them to go to the gym
00:27:05
Speaker
Is that who you want to be? Because of discipline?
00:27:08
Speaker
Well, right, exactly. Because I think the thing is, and marketers and people talk about it all the time, in that people do things for, let's just say, seven reasons. And one of the reasons of that, if you were to look at all of the anthropology and this and that, but one of the major things people do is they do actions to elevate their status. And that is a dangerous, dangerous game. Well, now that, coupled with Instagram. Oh, it's awful.
00:27:38
Speaker
So the perception out there, which I mean, even like, you know, I talked to someone the other day who made a comment about her perception of my Instagram. And, and it really wasn't in her perception was that it was much more
00:27:58
Speaker
whatever was happening in my life was way more successful and positive than it is. And that's not even that I, I mean, I do try to be authentic on there, but that's just the natural thing about Instagram. But you don't control what someone else judges. Right.
Social Media's Distortion of Discipline
00:28:10
Speaker
But I'm saying we all, we all, you, when you couple that elevation of status with the tool of Instagram, now it's like, look at me, I, I I'm on vacation and I still got my workouts in or, and then it's like you're, you're pitting yourself. There is that like,
00:28:28
Speaker
Well, I did it, and oh, you're on vacation, you're not gonna work out for the week? Well, I was better. I was literally just talking with Rachel, one of our coaches, about this, this morning at Wednesday Coffee Club. Yeah, that's cool. That it's driven on scarcity, and it's driven on less than. Instagram. Instagram, and you see something. And she's like, you know, you can look at really positive things. It's like, you absolutely can.
00:28:55
Speaker
And what happens frequently, what a pitfall is, is like, look, here's this positive thing, I'm not that. There's a gap, even if it's a positive thing. And that's where it's like, look, these healthy recipes. Yeah, it's great, these healthy recipes. But I ate macaroni and cheese last night. And mine doesn't look like that. And so it's like, yeah, you can, but we have to have that honest conversation about
00:29:23
Speaker
the reality of it and what's happening. And when things are based on fear, scarcity, punishment, it just is a festering ground for disordered thinking and discipline is the same. And I think it's important to also say that there are people who, people that give up, so I'm 99.9% sure I'm done with alcohol forever. And I have very personal reasons for that, that right now I don't wanna get into.
00:29:52
Speaker
And the reasons that are personal, but also like very much impactful for your life. Not just small reasons. Right. And therein lies the discipline. The discipline of... Yeah. It's not that I'm not doing this for abs. I'm not doing this for performance. I'm not doing, I'm doing it for my life. Yeah.
00:30:13
Speaker
And people that fall into those camps, you know, people that do need to eat a certain way due to whatever they have or people that, you know, obviously like like the alcohol drugs is a big one. Like it's not like, oh, no, you just take just take one hit because but you know, because it doesn't say anything about you. It's like, no.
00:30:31
Speaker
what is the reason that you fall into this camp? And that is going to be completely different for every single different person. But that's the raising of the awareness that we need to have. And like, I mean, it sounds so easy, you know, sometimes, like, oh, start with why. What's your why? Right. How are you getting there? Yes. Having a why is fine. Right. You need to be able to navigate that and your space and, you know, this talking about, like,
Health, Wellness, and Authentic Goals
00:31:01
Speaker
other people in conversations, you know, one of our friends had had shingles this past year. And it's funny, because when you get shingles, like the, if you really want to like, make sure you don't get it again, or
00:31:14
Speaker
complications or other problems from shingles, that virus, down the line, you really need to go like no sugar. You should be very stoked with your diet to like really reduce all inflammation or whatever. And this is a person that likes to have a glass of wine, likes to enjoy treats, like has a healthy relationship with food, but like it didn't seem at all when we talked, like there was no deprivation. It was like, I'm doing this because yes, I would like to be healthy and not have the repercussions of this.
00:31:41
Speaker
that discipline, it was discipline, sure, but discipline to the fact that like she was disciplined about caring about the future for future health. And so I think just being clear that like, yes, the word discipline, the notion of discipline, if you're someone that is, your discipline is to get up and write in the morning because you know that that has a positive impact on you and it helps you like really flush things after the day, then that's wonderful. But if the discipline is,
00:32:11
Speaker
I get up to write because so-and-so said like, you got to do this for 10 minutes a day and it's going to, and you don't really know why you're doing it. That's the thing. And then to your point, well, in,
00:32:23
Speaker
therein lies the thing, the why. I think that's where people, it does require a lot of work. It does require uncovering. That's where the mindset stuff is. That's not just read this book and now you'll know why, the journaling. Yeah.
Broadening the Understanding of Discipline
00:32:37
Speaker
So I mean, and that's, and I understand just like with the mindset stuff where, cause it's so easy to be like, look at this quote.
00:32:45
Speaker
And I'll just tell you, when shit is hitting the fan, you don't remember, like really. And many people haven't been in a situation, honestly, and that's fine and that's good, but many people haven't been in a situation where it's life or death, or it is so high stakes that no, no, no, no, no.
00:33:03
Speaker
The little quotes you're seeing and being in in a moment where you're sitting on the couch or bored or looking for a fill of something and give you a little bit of something. Those aren't fuel, you know.
00:33:19
Speaker
There's disciplines of study as well. And when we look at it, and I did look at this Google or look at the dictionary about discipline. And, and you can see very clearly where, Oh yeah, that's, that's why some of this stuff that we're, we're saying, whoa, we need to have a different direction. Cause it's pretty, uh, it's pretty aggressive and it's pretty.
00:33:42
Speaker
What's the definition? I forget. I looked at it months ago. I'm really working on a writing piece about it. So maybe I'll put it up or something or publish or something.
Fitness Industry's Influence on Discipline
00:33:54
Speaker
But if you were to say, you know, you have, you also look at like martial arts, there's different disciplines with martial arts. So it's, if we're using the same word and you know, I get it like words and semantics and I don't want them to do that whole thing, but, but you, you have more than just what happened as, as that thing. And, um, I think that that's, yeah. And I do from the,
00:34:20
Speaker
You know, we started with just saying about the affiliate stuff and where CrossFit's going. And I do think a lot of the direction and where the industry needs to move and the bubble that's going to burst is that notion of like, I went and I it's it's it is discipline. I was disciplined enough to like kill myself today. And it's like, well,
00:34:43
Speaker
That's not like is it working and looking behind that curtain and that's what I felt like I did and now I look at it and I say like oh I realized why I was maybe burnt out not happy I was in pain I didn't feel good like if if the things that you're doing
00:35:01
Speaker
and you're disciplined about are creating negative emotions, you should probably look, or negative impacts. I think that's a great place to start. Like, okay, all these things that I don't really particularly put as positives are what my discipline is creating.
Self-Awareness and Personal Reflection
00:35:17
Speaker
Like you said, like not being able to be on a social site. Like really when I was doing that with eating, I would not, or even like the macros.
00:35:26
Speaker
we would not go to certain places to eat or go out on a Friday night because if I didn't have enough numbers left, I couldn't control it. We weren't going to go on a date. And it's like, now I look at that. I'm like, Oh my God. But, but I was very distant. I had zeros across the board. And it's, so it's like looking at if a discipline that you've taken on has, is having positive things, you feel like you're growing, you feel like you are,
00:35:52
Speaker
benefiting and like you said having authenticity and learning about who you really are then that's Probably the right you're using in the right way. Yeah I mean, I think it's and that was nice that was elegant and that was good It's like what is the what do you think that discipline is telling other people about yourself that you can't do on your own?
00:36:13
Speaker
Like that's what I'm saying. So like, so I'm somebody disciplined. I will go to the gym and run into the wall as hard as I can every day. And I will pride myself on being somebody that overcomes challenges or that gives it their best no matter what, or does this, that, or the other. Don't quit when you're tired.
00:36:39
Speaker
Quit when you're done. I saw that recently on Instagram. From a gym. Don't quit when you're tired, quit when you're done. So that would be running into a wall and artificially, what are you telling everybody around you? I guess, I don't know, logically, I just don't understand that. Cause if you're done, then how can you quit? How can you quit something that you've finished?
00:37:04
Speaker
Right. If you're tired, who cares? You got to keep going. Complete all the boxes. Check all the boxes no matter what it does to you. And that's some of the messaging that someone who influences, let's say a few hundred people. Right. But that's exactly what I'm saying. Like.
00:37:21
Speaker
You can't actually step forward in your life and express who you really are and stand by that with firm footing on your own. You can't do that. There's something that you cannot do. Now there's a learning opportunity, but you need to prove to others by damaging yourself that you're somebody who can, but you can't.
00:37:47
Speaker
It's a lie. It's a projection, and it's a lie, and it's not who you are. It's not. If you're doing these things, if you're going to the gym or doing these crazy workouts or whatever, and I know plenty of them.
00:38:03
Speaker
who it's like, the hardest thing that you would have to do is pull back today.
Discipline vs. Punishment and Growth
00:38:10
Speaker
Like that's hard because for you that's challenging. It's a false, and that was for me, like the hardest thing for me to do is to change course, to pull back, to take a day off because in that, so just let's walk through that. For me to take a day off at one point in my career, we'll call it, what was I gonna, like,
00:38:30
Speaker
Well, one, what was I going to do with my time? And I remember when I got injured, I think it was Dave Thatcher. And he was saying to me like.
00:38:40
Speaker
if you lost the ability to work out for two weeks and you have nothing to fill that void, what is that saying about you? Like you're literally telling me that you've nothing else in your life. Like that's kind of crazy. So it promoted presented that question, but it was also like all the stuff that I was just lying to myself about that. Okay. Um, I'm not lazy. I'm not weak. I'm not those things. And it's like, but,
00:39:06
Speaker
And to your point, like, well, why are those thoughts there? That's the question to ask. Why do I think that that workout equals, why do I think I'm weak and I have to prove it through a workout? And I never did that work to look at like, what's going on with me that I have these, these insecurities or these questions and I'm using a workout or how much I eat.
00:39:27
Speaker
to be the validation. And that looked very much like discipline. So everything fit in the box. As long as I didn't ask questions or didn't stray from the discipline, then I could just keep going and I never had to look at anything.
Authenticity in Group Settings
00:39:40
Speaker
And that's part of it too. It's like it is, like I said in the beginning,
00:39:44
Speaker
It's a miss. It's misguiding because it keeps you in this kind of rut and like almost like with blinders on or like la la la la. Like I don't have to think about it because it how it provides this external like like lie that you can just keep doing and it validates you. And even though you might know like, yeah, this is probably not like me getting better. It's just me.
00:40:12
Speaker
it kind of is just very tempting to keep doing it. And especially if it's in a group, and that's where when we look at the group setting, it can be so powerful as we know. But when the messaging or like that's one of the reasons why it is challenging for people to go into the gym, and I've experienced this, you and I working out together.
00:40:35
Speaker
and I'm saying I'm gonna, what I need today. You can't possibly keep up with me, so that's what we know. Remember when your legs stopped working last week from the same workout and you went like this? That's when I quit. He like made the like quitting sign after four rounds. I said I'm done. But then what's interesting is you did do another one actually. I unquit. You obviously didn't read my post about it. Thanks to your support. So I did see you. You saw but you did not understand. Anyway.
00:41:00
Speaker
When we go into a workout together, if I'm saying I'm going to, what I need for me today is just to like easy.
Balance in Discipline and Personal Values
00:41:09
Speaker
And then I see you like in your, what you want that day is just like go hard, like have it be that day. I'll be honest. And I've told you this at the end, I'm like, man, I didn't do enough. I should be like that. And so I think that the group piece. So when you look at challenges or,
00:41:28
Speaker
that validation, like it can be a positive, but it can also kind of pull you into, if everybody in the group is saying like, you know, like the, the yoga people do this, the 30 day challenge, do yoga, go, go to Bikram yoga every day for 30 days, double days sometimes. And like, Oh man, you missed a day. We were all there. It's like,
00:41:52
Speaker
Well, maybe you missed today cause you're dehydrated because you've been doing yoga for an hour and 45 minutes in a room. Yeah. That's 105 degrees, you know? Um, so anyway, I think it's taking a step back and not, and looking at also as like, is this just a validation for something or am I really connected to it? I agree. And I think I, I think discipline is.
00:42:17
Speaker
giving yourself the invitation and the permission to authentically express who you are within a varying and dynamic environment. And there's going to be those times where they're like, yeah, hey, check it out. Like,
00:42:35
Speaker
This is not what I need right now, but like, that's the point. You have to look at that and really consider that. And if you're constantly saying, I don't need it. I don't need it. I need this. I need this. Like, like not to say like the data is telling you something, but, but everything is telling you something. Likewise, if you're like, I'm going to, I'm going to just punish myself every single time I
Personal Authenticity Beyond Expectations
00:43:02
Speaker
go to the gym, I'm gonna punish myself with food and never deviate. Like, what's, why? And... Well, it's just, and it's creating, in the process of that, you're creating, you're perpetuating this very unhealthy relationship with something that you're gonna have to unfuck later. Really? Yeah, you are. Well, I have to use my one curse. And that's kind of the thing, and I really do think that it's that,
00:43:33
Speaker
It's the agency to be brutally honest. Right. To really push the crab aside and look at, be honest with yourself because no one else is going to know. You know, I was thinking about discipline with, we've talked about this with the kids and, you know, having teenage kids or pre-teen kids, we've talked about like, okay, they need more discipline. And I think it's a great way to sort of summarize like what we're saying, like,
00:43:59
Speaker
for, let's say for Marcus, if we're saying every day he's gonna take out the trash when it's time, bring in the whatever, pick up the dog poops, whatever those things are, put their bags away.
00:44:13
Speaker
And I think we went through a kind of evolution of this with our parenting, like making sure that it wasn't just about checking those boxes. The discipline of it is for a greater purpose. So if we never talk to them about, we want you to do these things because X, Y, and Z, having responsibility, treating your things well, having a role, contributing to our family. You know what I mean? Like having, um,
00:44:42
Speaker
Yeah. Like building responsibility, but those are all those are all values attributes. So that's the discipline of that. If it was just do these things and that's your job, like, like, and there was no discussion about it further, then it just is an arbitrary discipline. Yeah. The kids will probably hate having like, uh, here we have to go poop, pick up the poops. And I'm sure at 15, they're not saying like, wow, this is really, they're not exactly, but it's building that. And so, so when you look at it as like, okay, how would I approach my kids?
00:45:09
Speaker
you would teach your kids like what the value of that discipline is, you should be doing the same thing with yourself. Right. And I think that the biggest thing to before that is like, you know, you can kind of like smile and have reassurance in that moment when they bring the trash cans up without being told to do so and without having the constant messaging and, you know, I'm constant.
00:45:33
Speaker
And the constant messaging on it, you know, or this or that, but it's like, they had the awareness to see that they learned something and they learned it and they did it. And so for sure with yourself, you know, but I did all the things and you know, I had a client that did all the things.
00:45:54
Speaker
And what did the things do? Well, it just became an exercise in doing the things. Yeah, it just kind of became an exercise in doing the things. And so it's not what you do. It's how I do it. And I think that that's really the thing, where when we look at discipline. So what does discipline look like for me? Or what does discipline look like for you? Or what does discipline look like for the listener?
Healthy Discipline Through Learning
00:46:18
Speaker
That's kind of depends. And it's up to you. You owe it to yourself.
00:46:24
Speaker
to examine it. Yeah. And then there's so much to action it too. And be like, yes, because I think you, your mind will be blown when you realize how fucking easy it really is. Not easy. You're still going to have challenges, but like, it's not this burden. It is a little bit of a process. Like, okay. So I was thinking, as you were saying that for me, like if I was going to say,
00:46:48
Speaker
What's something valuable that I'm gonna learn about myself? What's a discipline that I can, a healthy discipline that I can execute? Like if we're looking at January 2020 and not being like, I'm not gonna have, you know, whatever, a treat for two months after December, but like, okay, what would be a healthy discipline I could onboard that would be good for me in learning? And for me, it would be like we've talked about reading.
00:47:17
Speaker
A discipline for me would be picking up a book and reading because I know that that's an area that I often fall short in. I think it's, it's healthy for me. I know when I do read it, you know, expands like how I'm thinking, how I see things in my life. That's like a healthy discipline.
00:47:40
Speaker
So I think, you know, it's like good to see that you're going to read. You're not going to study two. As long as I get 10 pages in. Right. Right. Sure. So that's probably a better thing. It could be 20. That's a good way of putting it. Yeah. It's not going to be, I'm going to read a chapter a day because what if the chapter is four pages or maybe having it be like, I'm going to study this because it's going to be, I'm going to learn that. And it's going to be for this, this, this objective. Right. What would yours be?
00:48:08
Speaker
Oh, what was the question? What would a healthy discipline be? I'll propose the last 48 minutes of what we've been talking about. I have a list if you'd like me to show you yours. I mean, if you don't have one, does it? I don't know. What do you got?
00:48:33
Speaker
I think there's so many I'd like to do. I obviously did, you know, the drinking thing. It's not reading more. It's not reading more. I know what it could be. I think, well, hold on a second. I don't want to seem like people think I'm like, I think I'm fucking perfect or anything. No, I don't think anybody thinks that. I don't know how they could possibly, um,
00:48:56
Speaker
I think continuing with, you know, just in the health and fitness thing, I think continuing with really dropping the carbohydrate stuff down is good. You know, no, not doing keto or
00:49:13
Speaker
whatever, you know, whole 30 times 10 a year. Um, but, but I think that that's been good. And by that, I mean like also giving, having the ability to like, for example, you made shillings ballas, which are an origin God send. Yeah, right. Like I'm going to have one, but it's like, I had one, I wasn't having four or whatever. I mean, yes. And I think we talked about that. I think like an interesting discipline that doesn't come down to health and fitness, like for you, I have, I have one. Okay.
00:49:43
Speaker
being better at staying in touch with people. Yeah. I don't know if I consider that a discipline. Okay. Well, I mean, we can talk about all of your 2020. Welcome to my life. How about like, if you were to say your, your discipline is going to be cooking once a week, would you consider that like, so there is some,
00:50:08
Speaker
Okay.
Workout Challenge: Exploring Beyond Metrics
00:50:09
Speaker
So the discipline, so this is how I would, this is honestly how I would reshape that because once a week is, you know, well, it's like, well, if we don't put a ding on it, it's going to be like once a year, like this year, but you're the drill sergeant, you're the warden now. See, that's the thing. Are you going to be part of the problem or are you going to be part of the solution? Well, exactly. So I think that the discipline is.
00:50:31
Speaker
I think that the discipline is, you know, obviously, you know, contributing to taking some of the load of cooking for a family while being small business owners, this and that. If it's once a week, awesome. It might be a full week, like if that's where you're at. But I think like having a more having a more active, intentional and proactive. So the discipline might be learning to cook so that we can eat your food and it isn't just disgusting. So here's the thing, though. This is my discipline.
00:51:01
Speaker
And it's me being disciplined, then that's not, that's not, that's, that's on you. That's not my fault. We do need to, um, wrap it up and then give people a workout. Apparently we did get feedback that people like the workouts. Yeah. So I don't have any ideas off the top of my head.
00:51:22
Speaker
Let me think about it. If you, if you talk, if you wrap it up and then I think, or if you, unless you have one that you want to dish out. Um, I do think the, in alignment with the, the discipline thing, what's interesting is you could kind of pick any work. I think not having data is an interesting way to sort of experiment with the discipline piece of working out. So maybe that are something there. Yeah. Cause I think for me, it's a lot harder.
00:51:49
Speaker
to not look at the data because for me, that feels like I'm checking boxes. I'm like, it's a validation. So, you know, things like I did one 30 on 30 off for 30 rounds. The clock was behind me. I didn't have the screen. And you just go and it beeps and something like that. But just because for me, it was really hard to not pick up. And I was trying to get to a certain number of calories, like,
00:52:19
Speaker
but I couldn't look at it. And I really wanted to look at where I was. The discipline of like, well, I'm gonna push hard.
00:52:25
Speaker
Okay. If I, if I was trying to get to 200 and I was only at one 50 and I had four months to go. Now I know I have to push really hard versus like the discipline is like, can I stay present doing what I'm doing? Work as hard as I can, whatever that number is, it's going to be and not let the data continue to like be the dictator. So maybe you can come up with something that's, or maybe it's that. I mean, I think so we did a burpee biking one on the last podcast or whatever podcast that was.
00:52:56
Speaker
Um, 75 strict pull ups. Mm hmm. Every time you break, you have to do 15 kettlebell swings. That's a lot of swings for a lot of people.
00:53:24
Speaker
50 strict pull-ups. 50 strict pull-ups. 50 strict pull-ups. 50 strict pull-ups.
00:53:33
Speaker
Look, the pull-up should be something that it's, the number is a thing to kind of keep you working. It's not something you're going to be doing broken. If it's ring rows, it can be, it could be 50 strict ring rows, but if they're controlled, like, like there should be something that is so 50 strict pull-ups every minute you break. Every time you break. Sorry. Every time you pop off the pull-up bar, you do 10.
00:54:02
Speaker
light kettlebell swings. Okay. You have to smile the whole time.
00:54:12
Speaker
the whole time of the workout. Yes. How about when you have to smile during the swings? Okay. That's it. You have to smile during the swings. Okay. So the discipline is, so someone who's missing the point could be like, okay, I have to do 50 pull ups. I have to do however many swings. I'm going to try to just get the pull ups done and do them however I can to get my chin over the bars. So I don't have to do that many swings.
00:54:35
Speaker
And as long as I'm smiling, like my edges of my mouth are higher than my middle of my mouth than I'm doing it. And that's not the point. It's not about the pull-ups. Right. So that's the thing. And I don't know. Should I? I'll say so how I what I'm thinking with that.
00:54:57
Speaker
You did the 50 pull ups. Let's say you did 25, 25, right? Okay. And you did, you're not going to, but let's just say you did and you did the 10 swings and you did 50 strict pull
Reflecting on Discipline Goals for 2020
00:55:10
Speaker
ups in three minutes and you did 10 kettlebell swings and you learned nothing. It wasn't like the discipline was you did the workout.
00:55:23
Speaker
The discipline was, yeah, you, you, you checked the box, but you didn't learn anything. Now for most people, it's going to be maybe a set of seven, maybe three, maybe five, maybe all of that. There's no time limit on it. It's just, you do, you give it a good, you give it a go. Then you come off.
00:55:43
Speaker
You're going to feel something during the strict pull ups, especially that moment where you know, you're not either going to complete the rep or you've tried to complete the rep and then complete it, or you will not, you're done. Like you fall off. You're going to feel something there and you're going to connect to it on the swings. I don't know if 10 swings is enough.
00:56:06
Speaker
Yeah, I think 15 is good. 15 light, you know, one and a half food for men, one for women, you know, a light swing, whatever light is 15. And it just has to be the eye level. It doesn't have to be overhead. We'll just keep it to eye level. So if if the focus is on the pull ups.
00:56:27
Speaker
We're missing the learning. Yes. And that's the thing with discipline, where it's not that I did the pull ups. Now what? It's like, well, what did you learn? And so we'll do that. We'll do that. Or that's what my recommendation would be. Good. 50 strict pull ups or a challenging set. If you're, if you're like, you know, I would do 50, you would probably do 75 or I would. Yeah. Yeah. Probably not. I've done that. I've done that before with, uh,
00:56:50
Speaker
Temec or wall balls. Anyway, so the other just wrapping it up is like, yes, taking a look at I think we want to be also careful that we're not judging or saying this is bad or this is good. Just encouraging people to look at where in their life they feel like, oh, what do I feel like I'm quote unquote disciplined about? And is it a is it producing a positive result? Am I learning in that or not?
00:57:16
Speaker
And then like, if you are looking to 2020, like, I think it is cool to have like a new, I think you posted about this a couple of years ago.
00:57:24
Speaker
not being the cynic about like, no, new year's resolutions or new year's goals are stupid. Like it's a chance to, we all know that new year's goals generally fail, but it's a chance to, I think for people, there is this cathartic rebirth, a new year. I like it. Like, I definitely like it. 2020 is like, what are maybe some disciplines that would be healthy that I would like to employ. What? And then we're going to wrap. I have one.
00:57:50
Speaker
I don't know if I want to share it though for, for, for 2020 and beyond and beyond and beyond. I'm not going to, I have one in the back of my mind and it's going to be, and it's a good one.
00:58:04
Speaker
All right. In 2021, we'll just edit this podcast. We'll see if you did it. Yeah. So anyway, that's that's kind of the take on it. Make it your own. If you're doing something that if you're buying into someone else's disciplined, you're not being disciplined yourself. So what do we have going on? We have a couple of things going on. We have a couple of things going on. The practice starts January. Yeah.
00:58:30
Speaker
And so people have the rest of this month to purchase it. It's not just that group, that new group starts in January. The BTE seminar, February. I have a women's group starting in January. There's a few spots open. And yeah. Starting taking back on one-on-one clients.
00:58:55
Speaker
Yeah, which has been cool. Yeah, so and again like I think the remote thing I my coach isn't I don't I have never actually seen her in person Yeah, and I've gotten a tremendous value out of it. So I think even if you're not in proximity But you're looking for some coaching we do a lot of remote coaching. Yeah, most of it actually so I
00:59:20
Speaker
Yeah, most of it. However, we can be part of that. Yeah. Now we'll go see if the dogs have completely destroyed our bedroom. I know. All right. That's all we got. Let us know if you found it valuable. And if you do the workout, obviously you can. What did you learn? Yeah. What did you learn? And how did it go? Bye.