Transcript
Speaker: you know what's my job? Just looking pretty. Looking pretty? Sitting high and looking pretty. Being the equipment person. The equipment manager? The hardware and the software, which we all knew you would be the hardware and the software coordinator, manager, supervisor. It's that verse in me.
Speaker: I gotta do both. It's the things you do with your hands. You're very handsy girl. I'm very handsy. Not handy, handsy. No, you are. You're handy, handsy, and... Nosey.
Speaker: And nosey. It's a triple threat. um Welcome to Dom and Dahmer. We are coming at you live with some important information about how Dasha and I have completely different flavor profile experiences. Shocking to anyone listening for a year. Yeah. Yeah. um Huge, big. Wake it up in the chat. Let us know your flavors, because as Dasha is saying her least favorite being coconut banana grape, I'm sitting here going top three coconut banana grape.
Speaker: And Jordan made a good point that we are kind of perfect for each other because if we split a bag of candy. Yeah. Perfect. No, no anger. Yeah, a Laffy Taffy, Starburst. How do you feel about strawberry?
Speaker: i like strawberry. OK, so we could like meet in the middle with yeah strawberry. you could meet the middle strawberry. I like blueberry. I like apple. i like citrus flavors. I like all that. I just don't like banana because it just doesn't taste like banana. It tastes artificial. Grape as well. It doesn't taste like grape. It tastes like a fake flavor versus all the other ones kind of taste like the thing.
Speaker: Yeah. you know But that's like like blueberry. I love blueberry flavored stuff. And I do love normal blueberries, but different flavor completely. I mean, they all kind of have different flavors. True. And also, blueberries taste like nothing.
Speaker: OK. Wake it up. I don't know They don't have like a very distinct taste, do they? They kind of taste like... A sweet something. It's like a LaCroix, a hint of something. Yeah. Like, oh, that seems like a blueberry.
Speaker: i mean, maybe I'm eating the wrong kinds. I'm trying to eat the organic ones or whatever, but it's not like that much of a difference for me. No, but they to me, blueberries taste delicious. It's also one of the only things that my turtle will like devour, I've noticed.
Speaker: Blueberries. Yeah. He's so picky. But when I put a blueberry in in front of him, he's he's into it. it's because he can't reach up to get them from a bush. It's like a delicacy for him. Well, you know, speaking of the the reach, he I like sometimes will put a worm in front of him. And if the worm is too small and like low to the ground, he's struggling to like get at it. Oh, pick it up.
Speaker: Interesting. Because like this, like the chest part of his shell kind of like is keeping him from yeah getting too low. You would think evolutionarily they would like find a mechanism that makes it like go down or something. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, well, because, yeah, there's like other parts of his body that are like. Wiggly. Yeah, wiggly for sure. I so i went to the zoo yesterday and i saw so many animals. I hated every second of it. But they did have big ass tortoises, like huge ones, like ones that are bigger than my coffee table, just like in a pool. And I thought of you the whole time. i was like, oh, I would love that. How far was the zoo? It's in Griffith Park.
Speaker: Oh, the real ones there? Mm-hmm. Oh. Yeah, not the old one. though I've only been to like the ruins. Yeah, i went to the to the real one. And we walked 13,150 steps.
Speaker: That is amazing. Around. It was OK. It wasn't that. I thought it'd be more, but it was it was still nice. It was hot. So I know. I sweated. So it's good. Yeah. um We're going to have to go back for like my birthday. Yeah.
Speaker: i I will only go back for you. Good. Because i didn't want to go yesterday. I like don't really like the zoo. It makes me really depressed. And it was my friend's birthday, and he really wanted to go to the zoo. And i I gave him several other options. I was like, how about the aquarium? It's like the zoo, but with fish. And I'm more comfortable with it. He's like, no. And then I gave him all these other ones. He's like, no, I want to go to the zoo. And I'm like, well, it's your birthday. Who am I to say no to you on your birthday? So I went to the zoo. That's what they said to, you know.
Speaker: Say it. To who?
Speaker: No, I want to go to the zoo, said Hitler. And then everyone listened. Because it was his birthday. Because everyone was too afraid to speak out and speak up. now i would And I kept being like, haha i haven't been to the zoo since I was like, oh i don't know, in like fourth grade. I just find them so depressing. ah And then he was like, I want to go the zoo.
Speaker: So I'm like, okay. What makes you happier with aquariums? I don't have the same sadness for a caged fish as I do for a caged animal. Yeah. You're like slaughter them. Slaughter the fish. I mean. The ocean. The deep blue.
Speaker: Heat it up. No. Drain the swamps. That's where that comes from. It's for me. I wanted to drain that. No. You were the original drainer. I was the original drainer.
Speaker: They gave me that plaque. No, i I think I just kind of was like.
Speaker: I know they're they're just they have feelings. They're just as evolved. I don't know why my brain responds to fish as not as sad as an animal on land. I don't know. I don't know. Because they taste better.
Speaker: Fish? Yeah. Yeah, sometimes. I will say every every place we went to, my friend was like, that looks tasty. And I was like, you have to stop saying this.
Speaker: You have to stop saying this. It's like TikTok trend. I know, but hate it. I was like, there's children here. Let's not like, he's like, oh, look at this big bird. That looks like tasty. I'm like, okay, we can't do this.
Speaker: We're already looking caging these things. What are we also like picking them out for lunch? Like I couldn't, it made me so sad to see like the rhino, to see the tiger, to see like, The gorillas, like I just was like, these are cool, but they're locked away. I know they're being taken care of. And we we spoke to some people that work there.
Speaker: And they explained. And they like know their personalities. And they like give them medicine. and Yeah, but it's they're still in captivity. And it makes me a little sad. Yeah. Yeah, I, um, no, I agree.
Speaker: And I, that's partly why I don't go to zoos as much as I feel like I would have or did as a kid. Um, I feel like I've always battled with that idea. I think in times of, like, when a species is endangered and they're trying to, like, keep them safe and, like, trying to breed certain animals to, like, build a bigger...
Speaker: population. i'm like supportive of all of that. But then, yeah, there was a point where it's like, um okay, like now you have me thinking too, back when Tiger King came out,
Speaker: There was a part of me that was like, oh, my God, in another life, I would have been a crazy Floridian ah with a personal zoo that he's paying.
Speaker: He's like charging people money to come see his like zoo, essentially. um But then obviously I'm like, that's terrible. You know, like especially I think.
Speaker: Other than the obvious of like, they should be in the wild. But on the other piece of it too is I don't know if you're going to be able to take care of them well enough. And in certain situations, yeah, maybe they're having the best life ever.
Speaker: um But you don't know that. No. You know? And you know zoos, a lot of them get their animals from those people. Like, it's like under the table. i was just talking to Jordan about He like, yeah, a lot of people, like, go to these crazy Floridians with their own personal zoo and collection of, like, exotic animals and then don't ask any questions and just take these babies and then, like, raise them. Because, like...
Speaker: Even when kids were asking, where did you get these gorillas? You know, from the guy that was like giving the speech at the zoo. He was like, oh, well, this one was born to a mother that we've had here for 10 years. and like, where'd the mother come from?
Speaker: And they're like, oh, no, they won't tell you because they would get in trouble by being like, oh, we illegally take them from. ah are they paying the people yeah but like under the chair but it's still like black market yeah it's like illegal it's like just because i have heroin in my house and i you know it doesn't mean that no that's not a good example you know what i mean i'm just like just like either way it was it was it was crazy and it was so hot yesterday andm walking around it was cool to see some of the animals like the kangaroos i've never seen a kangaroo before and
Speaker: And it was cool to see them. I saw an eagle eat a mouse during feeding time. OK. dude just chomped its head right off. Yeah. It kind of went, clook, clook, like kind of pecked around its little neck and then swallowed the whole damn head just in one bite. Oh my lord. And there's just children videotaping it for TikTok.
Speaker: And I didn't know they were doing it. And I'm going, that motherfucker just ate that whole, and they're like, and I turn around, they're videotaping. I'm like, okay, good. yeah I'm a grown adult. Yeah. Good, good, good.
Speaker: I've been there. Yeah, sure, sure. I just, you know, I always seem to embarrass myself around children. and It's
Speaker: devastating. Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't even say it's just around children, but I couldn't even be back.
Speaker: motherfucker motherfucker couldn't even hold that i couldn't even like hold hot space for that but um
Speaker: okay well um that was me drinking i just gotta to also say it's ooky spooky kooky time thank god thank god i love ooky spooky i love the fall um I do too.
Speaker: i There's something in the air. um I feel like people are really pushing it hard. Like it's just inching up earlier and earlier in the year. But, you know, I kind of get it from a decorative standpoint of like, if I, I was kind of like, okay, put up Halloween decorations.
Speaker: like October 1st you can put some ah autumnal decorations up at that same time to like leave through November but the Halloween decorations are only like an October feature um but you know I gotta to be open to doing it in September a little more you gotta be more open yeah I've heard people say that to you you gotta open up open up Yeah.
Speaker: Ten centimeters. How many? Ten. Yeah. Not ass. Pussy. Ten. Yeah. To have a baby. I'm so glad I knew that. I could spit that out like that.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, i heard someone say, like, oh, like a foot. And I went, I'm sorry, you want a person's body to open up a foot wide? That baby would fall out.
Speaker: It wouldn't get pushed. It'd fall right out. Yeah. Also, like, the body, yeah. Keeps the score. It's, like, just not made for yeah for that, you know, it's. Do you think that people are pushing like the holiday decoration earlier because of global warming? And it's like, we're losing seasons, so it's like our way of preserving seasons. Because like especially in LA, things don't change color. It's like basically always summer, except for maybe the winter time. So it's like, we're the ones that have to say, okay it's time for fall. And I say fall starts in September, and that's when fall has to happen.
Speaker: Because it's like still summer. It's going summer until mid-October. Well, no. Isn't it technically September 21st or 2nd? We do this every time. i believe every season it's four months and I have it completely off.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. i've I'm just saying. You're just not normal. No, I'm not. And you know what? I think more people should adopt my system because mine logically makes sense. Y'all y'all are sticking to your calendars that don't exist anymore. You're trying to change whatever standard time to farmer time. i don't know what you're trying to do here.
Speaker: I'm giving you straight fact information four months at a time when I say it is and that's what it is. It's a dictatorship now. See what happens. See what happens when you let Dasha be in charge. All I think with that, we're going to have to take a little break and come back with more of this, more of the ookie and kooky, more of the other things, more of the games.
Speaker: Hey, you kids. Have you ever felt so un-American and wanted to hurt your soul? Yeah. Well, let me tell you, we just came up with the most amazing product that you and your family can enjoy today. It's called Apple Pie. You can have it whole, you can have a slice, you can make it at your home, or you can buy it outside. Whatever you want to do, as long as you buy it, you will feel the most American you've ever felt. but Isn't that a amazing? It is. It is amazing.
Speaker: It really, it's the best thing ever. All right. It's very smart. um Okay, we are back. I did want to bring up one thing. I wanted to do a little personal plug here. Oh, please. um On a October 28th, I'm going to be emceeing slash hosting um for the GFBLA's Suarez. was going to call it the holiday. Suarez. Holiday Suarez. Okay, Gala Munch? Damn fancy. um No, it is the Moonlight Cabaret. And it says a night of Halloween-themed music featuring GFBLAs, jazz band, clarinet choir, and saxophone quartet, which I'm very excited because i love all that. All that kind of stuff.
Speaker: um And if you're wondering, oh my god, what does GFBLA stands for? it stays It stands for the Gay Freedom Band of l LA. So um they're gay, they're free, get used to it. um And yeah, it's going to be a fun time.
Speaker: I'm going to be I was going to say peddling my wares, but no, my that will be my body and my mouth. Where is it going to be taking place? So it's going to be at the Mayflower Club, which is at 11110 Victory Boulevard, of North Hollywood.
Speaker: Oh, my God, that's right here. I mean, what? No. Who knows? Where do I live? Nowhere. Dom and Dom are headquarters. is Yeah. um And it's like I said, October 28th. It's at 8 p.m. Tickets are $10 at gfbla.org slash events or at the door.
Speaker: drinks available for purchase um check it out i will be throwing it up on my insta and um yeah i would love for you to come i'd love for you to support um i like i said i love that kind of stuff my outfit is going to be i'm going to do that like billy butcherson-ish uh look again love um which also kind of gives a little mozart a little beethoven kind of vibe so you can actually wear the thing you wore today A little ripped up front. A little. kind of Yes, that's kind of cute, too. Yeah. Maybe I do costume changes. I'm like. Honestly, it was awesome. Yeah. But that's that. Just some ah light paperwork at the beginning of this segment. I'm so excited. I haven't seen you perform in a while. I really am so excited to see you. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying not to, like, make myself, like, psych myself out because I'm like, oh, my God. Like.
Speaker: It's gonna be this moment, this thing, but I think naturally, at least from in times past when I needed to like jump on a mic for something, something does come over me, so When you are in your dragoons and you have a mic, you do become a different person. Yeah. I love that personality. And sometimes when I'm not like pretty, you know, which is a lot of the time, but um specifically being like a zombie kind of colonial wench figure looking. You don't have societal pressures to just be beautiful. Yeah, I will. I'll just be like even feeling confident in my ridiculousness. I love you know yeah love that. That's the way to live.
Speaker: I've never really tried to do like pretty. like like I've never been like, ooh, like, you know, wah, wah, wah. I've never really tried it, like genuinely. And maybe once I did for Halloween, and I was like, well, you can't even see my face, so I don't feel so bad. you know It's like people aren't even really looking at me, so it's OK. The time you did the Miss bellllum miss Bellum, that was your Yeah, that was. Yeah, it was. Yeah, it was hot and sexy. Yeah, because i was but a fuck off. Fuck right. Fuck right the fuck off. This is what happens. I'm so sorry. My tits are my nipples aren't hanging out of my goddamn shirt. My pussy's out. All right. I'm sorry. i just dressed up like a secretary. You did not think that was hot.
Speaker: Listen, it's just so funny that like like you said, is the one where your face is covered up. that um you were feeling the sexiest. um I'm working on it in therapy. i have a hard time keeping eye contact. I don't want to be perceived or looking people in the eye. It makes me nervous. yeah I only do it with people i love, like a dog when I shit.
Speaker: But I think also, too, it's like it's OK, because I feel like you come out more when you're like, yeah, like you're not trying to be that kind of person. And I don't think you really are or should be. And not to say, yeah, I'm not saying you're not pretty, but I'm saying that. What are you saying? Say it with your whole chest.
Speaker: I know what you're saying. Listen, girl, like when we were at the Eagle, you know, like, you know, you would rather have leather your leathers on before you're going to have makeup on. And, um you know, you're using your hands for other things so um if i need to i can it's just a lot for not uh enough of a like return on time you spent like if i spend two hours doing my makeup and then it's just like no one says anything about it and i kind of just like okay so this is just nothing i'm like why did spend two hours when i could have done nothing and people wouldn't have said anything anyway so it's like i i'm doing it so you notice and if they don't notice i don't want to do it
Speaker: yeah might as well just have my own face which is funny that's how i feel about like just posting on instagram like i'll spend the two hours getting in drag that post gets like significantly less likes than me posting a shirtless picture something that's cause because uh gay men are a little like femme phobic i feel like yeah yeah you're not wrong I think it's like, oh, you're feminine, so we're not going like it as much. But when you're like mask without your shirt on, it's like, oh, I'm going to jerk off to this, you know.
Speaker: When in reality, both is something that's going to get them off. They just want to admit it. Ooh. Mm-hmm. Oh my god, say it. If you are a self-hating gay who is not like you, my friend, and the Dragoons, you need to reexamine your life and talk to somebody because it's not going to serve you any better if you kind of stew in that self-hatred and homophobia that's internalized for years and years and years.
Speaker: Work. know what You know those gay guys who are like, ew, vagina. And it's like what do you like, what do you think that's getting you? like You think you're like immune from this? like Well, and boof i' beg I'd beg to differ that even the one, it's sometimes it's not the ones that are going, ew, a vagina. It's a lot. It's everybody. It's the ones going, oh yeah, vagina. And it's like, yeah, no.
Speaker: I know. Because it's just like, any way you slice it, everyone hates women. Yeah. I know, I know. It sucks to know. It sucks to know and live and understand. And then to be like, and I'm supposed to put on makeup?
Speaker: Fuck all of you. Like, that's, yeah. understandable yeah so a lot of a lot of that going on yeah for me personally like i said spooky ooky and kooky some spooky stuff out there i spent a good portion of my time at michael's yesterday looking at and i usually never do this like go to the seasonal section like look at all the stuff but i was like i think i'm at that big age where i'm like oh it'd be fun if like my house was decorated like you know like seasonally i'm like as long as i don't start putting up those like
Speaker: you know look eat pray love whatever the fuck signs all yeah yeah but don't be scared don't be scared it's scary it's scary i don't think i reached my sexual peak and now i'm already winding down into a sexless you know doe making why no why no mom you know what i mean like i don't want to i don't know because when i walk into your bedroom i definitely don't get that vibe I go, what is the sex dungeon? i went i went on I went on a date and I was talking to the person and they were showing me some art.
Speaker: And i was like, oh, like I have this art in my room and this. And I'm like, my friend says that this stuff scares people away. They were like, no, it's cool. I'm like, OK, good to know, good to know.
Speaker: That is so funny. I was like, i don't know how you feel about the art in my room because there's so much of ghosts and women taking off their skins. Yeah. That is so funny. my God.
Speaker: I was like, oh, good. I'll find out now if this is creeping you out or not. Yeah. No, he was like, just take off your pants. They're like, oh, interesting. This is cool. oh Yeah.
Speaker: Hey. Yeah. Yeah. i didn't I didn't say it was necessarily scary. It's just very masculine and like um bro-ish, which is probably why, you know. I mean, it's really interesting. I don't think it's bro-ish in any way. I don't i cannot ever imagine a person, a frat, having that in their room.
Speaker: That's the ah god honest truth. the The skin, skinning. Skin ones, the ghost ones, none of them. Yeah. I can see like an artsy gay guy having it. OK. Yeah, you're not wrong there. But I can't necessarily see, like, a cis straight guy with that kind of stuff. And if they did, I'd be like, okay, I like you. i like you. What's going on here? I like you. I like your bedroom.
Speaker: I like this weird dungeon thing that you've got going on. Yeah, so. Well, I'm happy for you. Yeah. I wish I could, you know, have kind of, like, you've got a really good eye for stuff, and you know how to put stuff together in interesting ways that, like, look cool in your house. Like...
Speaker: I wish I could do that more, but I just can't commit like to a look. Because I have such a hard time. I was like, I don't want to be defined by this thing. like like, what if it's gross and people think it's bad? Then I like committed my whole house to this, so what the fuck do I It's like, I'll keep it to my bedroom. can't do a whole house situation like that because it's a big commitment for me.
Speaker: I'm scared if someone doesn't like it. Although that goes against the purpose of decorating. It's like, who cares? Yeah. I mean... It is what it is good because I grew up, i have to like worry about how crazy I am about it because I grew up in like before my parents got divorced, the the house was like a showroom. It was like newly built.
Speaker: We moved in when I was like three. And like everything had like a place and you didn't touch anything. And it was definitely an aesthetic. It was literally like showroom ah style, but I almost, one, I always wanted like a place where each room could have its own aesthetic, you know, like, and I mean, I'm talking like Madonna Inn. Like I would love a living living room that looks like a front porch, like outside in type of vibe.
Speaker: I want the bathroom that looks like it's like from the Haunted Mansion or like a a sea cabin or something. i want, you know, whatever, every room to kind of like transport you.
Speaker: But at the same time, um I'm like a little OCD in that way where I like notice it now, even in the house where like I, there are certain things that fit in a certain place and like anything else that like comes in to it that like throws off the feng shui. I'm like, no, this like can't be here. This can't be there, you know?
Speaker: Um, and yeah, cause like I, I am kind of like that with cleaning too. Like I like to have, make sure like things are constantly being like cleaned up. Um, and there are certain things that I'm like more lenient about there with like projects being out or whatever.
Speaker: But in general, um, Yeah. If you were to do like a theme for this guest bath, like what would you suggest?
Speaker: um For a bathroom, this is the thing is like so weird. For a bathroom, I like when people go the route of like tattoo shop, um sea cabin, like I said, or
Speaker: um
Speaker: I don't know, like, I kind of like when bathrooms are a little moody. i like, like, i'm I'm pretty down for like a darker color. If it was like a darker green, like a darker mossy green, and then you're putting up like little pictures and trinkets around the wall.
Speaker: Like, I love, you know, restaurant bathrooms. Like, back when TGI Fridays had, like, everything you could hang up on a wall, like, covering the wall. Like, something in, like, a bathroom like that was fun.
Speaker: In my old place, I had all of the maps of places I had been to like, around the bathroom wall. Like, you know, it's kind of a vibe. Can I tell you my dream? Okay.
Speaker: My dream is this complete like complete shift of this as much as I love this table because it's like a solid piece of wood that costs like two thousand dollars that we got for free because my friend got it. Like it's a real great table. Much smaller table.
Speaker: Much smaller table. a l-shaped couch on the opposite end so then like part of it covers the balcony door and then it's an l-shaped couch then we could put a chair here another chair there and have the tv up against that wall okay and then this is where we probably would put that shelf over here and then it'd just be kind of this way Like everything will be turned this way instead. that way the fireplace is still kind of open and whatever.
Speaker: And yeah, that's kind of what I wanted. That's a vibe. I like that. Yeah, I just would take, you know, a new couch and like don't really want to get a new couch.
Speaker: is everything is so much money i mean even i like want like better chairs for like the balcony seating and i keep getting like thrifted chairs or things off the side of the road because even like cheaper things are still not that cheap you know let's drive outside of la let's drive to fucking arizona let's go to like a thrift like an isolation army let's hit up a couple and see if we can find something there spend a long weekend Yeah, spend a long weekend like really driving far out somewhere where that people haven't already like plucked it up. Yeah.
Speaker: And see if we can find you something. And I'm sure I could actually look up some places that have like maybe like um showrooms of overstocked items from like fancy places where it's like much cheaper, but it's like a good quality something. Yeah.
Speaker: We could literally do a Saturday, Sunday where we like or like a Friday night, Saturday, Sunday where we drove out to what like not New Mexico, but like Arizona, I guess. Yeah.
Speaker: And um just stay at like a holiday in of yeah sorts. And then just like yeah hit up places along the way or back coming back. Exactly. We got to plan that. I'm so down. That'd be really fun. us We're always making plans on the pod. Pod plans. So far, we've carried every single one out. Yeah. and we could record... an episode on the road. While we're at the holiday end. That'd be so fun. like Okay. Is it haunted? I don't know. Let's do it. Let's do it for for spring. Spring 2027. Love it. Yeah.
Speaker: yeah That's going to be great. Okay. pictures' a wherere We're going to come back with a...
Speaker: With a bussy. With a yay or boo. A yay or boo. Get ready for the game. Yay or boo. we have to We have to come up with a brand new game, meaning we just changed the title, but it's not the same exact game.
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Speaker: Who's that? Neil Diamond? No. ah No. I think it's a Blue Eyes, Old Blue Eyes. Sinatra. Oh, Blue Eyes. Oh, Blue Eyes. When people used to say Blue Eyes White Dragon, always thought it was about him. Frank Sinatra. thought it was about Frank Sinatra. Oh, my God. It was not. That's that's the crossover we need. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine him playing a game of Yu-Gi-Oh.
Speaker: Quick chat. Someone make that a reality. Okay. um All righty. We're about to play. We're back to flip but but play.
Speaker: It's called... yay or boo okay yes um you go first okay pumpkin carving versus apple picking oh girl i thought you were about to have the same one as me and i cannot wait to give you mine oh okay um
Speaker: You know what?
Speaker: I'm going to say apple picking. Same. Yeah. I think old me would have said pumpkin carving. Wow. What's changed? What's changed new you?
Speaker: The pumpkin carving is a little messy um and usually takes more preparation than you realize. And then you're like in the moment.
Speaker: doing things that you need to do and um you know I feel like if I lived back in like ah my farm town hometown i would probably still say pumpkin carving but like no like I would love an apple picking moment this this season of fall you know um yeah what do you think I love that.
Speaker: I agree with you. I think that as we get older, this like messy, unprepared kind of like thing is not what we need. We need a nice thing that you can do that you can enjoy that's going to reap benefits later on. Like if you go apple picking, that's going last you for a while. If you do pumpkin carving, that's just going to rot in your porch in like a day and half. Mm hmm. So.
Speaker: And I feel like a lot of the time, the place that you're going to go apple picking will also have other products and things there. Whereas like the place that you go pumpkin picking. They only have pumpkins. the hell? It's really just kind of like pumpkins. We don't have time for one one and done. We need multiple things. Yeah.
Speaker: Get your act together, pumpkins. Leave your acorn squash at home. Seriously. I'm glad we're on the same page on that. Yeah. Good. OK. Well, I'm going to actually do that one now to see what you think. Pumpkin carving versus pumpkin painting.
Speaker: Oh, can I say neither? Whoa, okay. I just, I'm like, again, it's just messy and they rot so fast. There's like no, if I had to be between the two of them, probably painting because then it's like intact and it maybe rots less fast.
Speaker: Okay, yeah, yeah. um Pumpkin carving, it's like a whole thing. I don't have sharp enough utensils. also don't like, all my jack-o'-lanterns look jacked up. Like, I never do a cool thing. They're always looking kind of like...
Speaker: bu but up up but up but they're not really doing it for anyone and i'm not gonna put a candle in there not gonna waste my nice candles for the stupid ass pumpkin so work yeah painting i guess I feel like I can agree with you. Yeah.
Speaker: This has been like a newer thing of like being I we would have never said again new me old me. Mm hmm. Old me would have said pumpkin painting. Are you fucking paint on paper then bitch. Yeah. um But now I'm like OK I can understand how cute this can be. You're growing. You're maturing. I really there has been a lot of growth. Yeah, yeah I could tell.
Speaker: OK. It's the seafood buffet. Oh, honey, honey. OK. Haunted Mansion versus Spooky Cemetery.
Speaker: um In just like the essence.
Speaker: The taste, the sounds, the feeling. Mm. Haunted Mansion. How about you? Haunted Mansion. Either way, you're getting ghosts. But one, it's like you're going on their turf because the cemetery, that's your place.
Speaker: The other way it's like they're on my fucking place. It's a house. Why the fuck are you here? So it's like I'll still get the experience of the ghost entity. But one, I feel more comfortable kind of shooing them away or being or being more firm in where I belong.
Speaker: I mean, i didn't realize this was my haunted mansion. Like, this is my house. Because, yeah, I mean, in both scenarios, I'm walking in on the ghosts who are inhabiting that place. That's their territory. But one, it's your territory. The other one's their territory.
Speaker: A house is never their territory. Yes, it is. No, it's not. Just because they they die. They belong in the dirt. Girl. Yes? Yes. All right. tell Tell that. tell When you go next time you're in Gettysburg and you're staying at freaking, what's his face is, Jackson, Andrew Jackson's house.
Speaker: You know, the famous place you go to, Andrew Jackson's house in Gettysburg, famous for his yeah Gettysburg address. can be like, get and get out of here, Andrew Jackson. But it's like the reason they're there is because their spirit has some kind of tether and they're like ah they have not moved on The point is that they haven't moved on. That's not where they're supposed to be. They're supposed to move on to the cemetery. They're like stuck. So it's like, get it. Get over it, girl. That's interesting. So you think that spirit belongs in the cemetery and that's like that's the place that's OK. They like it better. There's more room. There's no overhead space. They're fine. They could roam the place. That's where they go. That's their thing. That's their scene. Like, why are they trying to go to my place? This is interesting. Okay.
Speaker: That's what I'm saying. I think a haunted house is eminently more fun and I have a lot more stakes and like cause to be there versus cemetery. where the fuck am I going there?
Speaker: Right. That's also, too, I'm like, the cemetery only has so much. I want candelabras. I want canla i want lighting. i want candelabras. I want basements. I want stairs. I want walking downstairs yeah after you pull a lever and by the fireplace. I want all that. I want snacks. That's right.
Speaker: Yeah. I don't want that a cemetery. I'm going to chew on a bone. No, thank you. um Okay. Practical magic versus little shop.
Speaker: My truth is that I've never seen Little Shop. I just recently watched Practical Magic. Loved Practical Magic. The first or the second? The first. Okay. I was the second, but my friends had to bail, so I haven't seen it yet. Have you seen it?
Speaker: No. The second one, no. If you want to go see it, I'll go see it with you. okay i would be somewhat into into that swayed persuaded i could be a little okay good uh yeah i think practical magic yeah oh wow okay yeah damn oh like a flower that eats people right like feed me seymour okay get a life seymour wow y'all okay not sponsored wow Feed me, feed me. What are you doing for me?
Speaker: What are you doing for me? Practical magic? That gives me practical magic. I could use that every day is what that's giving me. What are you giving me, plant, except for anxiety and an eating disorder? Well, beautiful music.
Speaker: I don't need beautiful music. That's right. I make my own. and and I'm assuming you're the opposite. you like you You're a plant daddy, so you like a plant. Yeah, I definitely would have said little shop. um I'm going to assume most people would say little shop. See, that's where you go too far.
Speaker: But work, yeah. Practical magic, yeah. I only saw it once and it was okay. um And I haven't seen the second one because I was like, oh, well, the first one was okay.
Speaker: Okay. That's fair. Maybe I won't make you see it then. I'm going to go see it because really it. like witches, but I want more witches. I want less like, oh. What do you want? More witchcraft. More sacrifices. Okay. Less. Sisterhood. Yeah. less Less sisterhood of the traveling broomstick. They don't even have brooms. Okay.
Speaker: they do at the end At the fucking end. OK. OK. You know, very fair. want more spell casting. Yeah. More blood. Yeah. More bits and bobs for you and your wizardry.
Speaker: Got it. That kind of stuff. You want less like talking about feelings, less murdering of men. Like less like about the discussion of ah aging as a woman. You want more just like cut a bitch. Yeah. Well, and I think that's, now thinking about it, it's literally called practical magic. That's probably why. It's not called, like, whimsical magic or, like, interesting magic or awe-inspiring magic.
Speaker: Your review of this movie is epic. It's practical. it's called practical magic? Don't expect it to be whimsical or good, okay? They almost called it mechanical magic. They almost called it prescriptions. They called it boring, boring magic. Yeah, they called it the case Tylenol and women. Yeah.
Speaker: God, we're never getting sponsored by Nicole and Sandra. I didn't say that, by the way, ladies. I love the movie. And I would go see the second one. I am going to go see the second one. OK. Ghosts versus vampires.
Speaker: Ghosts all the way. OK. Ghosts all the way. See, I'm vampire. See, no. Why do you want a ghost? Ghosts are just cooler. They probably have better stories. Vampires are like. Live forever. Living forever. Exactly. And are pale.
Speaker: um Oh, yeah. And ghosts are, you know, famously colorful. Yeah. Saturated. um No, but the vampires, I don't like the whole like, the only thing I like about vampires is that they're their connection to bats.
Speaker: Because I like bats. That is where that ends. I only like the bat element. And if if I'm not a vampire that turns into a bat,
Speaker: There's no point in me being a vampire. You don't want to be like a sexy stranger in like with intense, like searing eye contact and a love that you will travel millennia for. And like,
Speaker: suck the blood and soul out of them because you want them so much my passion's not for you i hear that i don't want to be sucking blood that's not the kind of sucking i'm gonna be down for especially if i'm a lanky pale crypt keeper and um in twilight i always like the wolves more Well, that's... Okay.
Speaker: I would gander to think that ah majority people would say vampire over ghost. Have I gone too far? Wow. I do believe that. I think vampire is, like, sexy and hot and passionate, and I think ghost is...
Speaker: kind of but your question was not do i want to fuck a vampire or a ghost no do which one do you like more and you say ghost and i go i think that's wrong i think what you think is wrong and then you're like oh because vampires are hot sexy yeah like all it and i'm like that's not what the question was well it's like one versus the other and for me the other wins because of the these reasons because they're of the sex a appeal well that was my last one And what was yours? Yours is vampire. Yeah, oh that's right. you just went off on it. OK, God, Jesus. Yeah. Listen to what I'm saying. Remember. I know you never listen to me when I'm not agreeing with you. You're like.
Speaker: Shut down. You're like women speaking. it's like Oh, my God. This woman's. la la la and yeah like youre your This is why you yeah you're not supposed to vote. That's right. That's right. You keep reminding me like this is why you shouldn't vote.
Speaker: Yeah. And have the ability to. my God, we both might lose our voting power at some point. crazy anyway spooky uki halloween you'll never lose your voting power cause you don't think so as a gay man no because they need them they don't need women they i mean if they're talking about the population decreasing so much they're gonna need women Yeah, but they're not going to need us to have rights.
Speaker: Sorry. um That's what it is. It's like, oh, the population, oh, let's let's keep them at home, chained up with no rights. And you, as a gay man, get to sucking fucking whatever the hell they need you to do because there's no problem with that. Yeah. Because they need that. Handmaid's Tale, Handmaid's Tale. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, what happened to the gays in Handmaid's Tale? i They were probably exiled. Exiled? Yeah. Exiled? Or executed. Oh, exode is executed. That's amazing. Or exiled. It's both. It's both. Exode.
Speaker: That's such a good abbreviation. She was exode. She was exode. Executed and exiled. yeah And or. And or. Wait, that's so good. I'm ready. I'm down. Exode.
Speaker: ah Executed. They do that on Survivor. They're like, she's on Exode Island. Oh. But she was actually executed. Yeah, they do that and now in Survivor. It's a new thing. They They said up the stakes. They go one cup of rice, nothing else, and guillotine. Yeah, 10 days in. That's right. um OK, my last one is apple cider vinegar or white vinegar.
Speaker: You're trying to get me canceled.
Speaker: Why? I don't know. I just thought it'd funny to say. the Apple cider. Really? Yeah, I think white vinegar, while it is great for like cleaning and you could dilute it and you could do other stuff with it, I think apple cider is like health wise is better. You could like drink it and it makes you better and you could add it to food and stuff. So like I think i I tend to go for it more. You could pickle things with it more. Yeah, I would say that. Oh, you could pickle things with it more, you're saying? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Because it a little sweetness to it. Okay. Yeah. You're going to say white vinegar, right? Because you are a supremacist for the whites. um No, just because I like the taste of white vinegar better and apple cider vinegar.
Speaker: Yeah. um they It became a fad. i know people love it. it just, it tastes exactly like apple cider. Like yeah in a way that I don't want that. I think you also have like ah a more refined palate than I do.
Speaker: You smell things better. You taste things more. i tend to not. It's the truth. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a bad sense of smell, so like a lot of things are dulled for me. Like I think I don't taste apple cider in the way you taste which is why I think I like it.
Speaker: Oh. I like that. All right. Well, that is ah the game. Did we... did we We should do one more. One more. yeah Yeah. Okay. Okay.
Speaker: Vagina or penis? Oh, penis, penis. Don't, don't be so quick. You know what i mean? Act like you're deciding. Ew, vagina. Ew.
Speaker: I'm a platinum three-star face card gay. That's so tough to hear. it's so tough. To me, the worst is that because it's like, what does that get you?
Speaker: Like, what does that get you? Who's going to give you? You want an award for it? Like, you've never even, like, you were, like, C-sectioned out. You never even, like, touched the barrier of a pussy. What does that get you? It doesn't get you into anything.
Speaker: It's just a crazy thing to brag about. It's like, oh, I still have my appendix. I'm a gold star appendix carrier. what does that get you?
Speaker: Anyway, I feel very strongly when people say stuff like that. I go, oh, my god. What does that get you?
Speaker: Yeah. So ask around. Let's see what people say. out I can't ask. We should start man on the street in this and we hope. They won't talk to me. They'll talk to you. I'll hold the camera. They will not talk to me.
Speaker: Yes, they will talk to you. Have you seen yourself? They will talk to you. Exactly. Have you seen them? OK. They look bad. Oh, God. All right. We got to wrap this up. I got to be honest. I mean, I've seen what they're taking. They're taking peptides and schmetzides. They have fucking acne all over their back. No, no, no, no.
Speaker: Okay, well, i have a happy Halloween. Stay safe out there and um eat your ah candy and talk to your ghost friends because they need you. And if you see vampires, make sure you tell them that they're way sexier than ghosts. And that's what's important in Dasha's world. So, yeah. And tell them to come to my house because I'll suck them dry.
Speaker: That's what they're going to do to you, honey All right. lee All right. Bye. Not all right, put the mic down. All right, put mic down, walk away.
