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EP 37: Audience Q&A with Olivia Ivey-Davis
2.2k Plays2 years ago
Olivia Ivey-Davis is back and answering all of your questions. In this Q&A episode, the woman behind SkinnyHangover and Mini Musts spills the tea on all sorts of topics. From how many more kids she wants, influencer “icks”, and how to keep things spicy while trying to conceive, she graciously answers even the juiciest questions.
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Transcript
Introduction and Rapid-fire Questions
00:00:07
Speaker
There's no right way to do it. Oh, we're going to get into it. What up moms? This is Whitney and I'm back with Olivia from Skinny Hangover and Minnie must take it. Hi. Thanks for having me back. Of course. We have a fun segment planned today. Me, Shannon and Candice did this where we did a rapid fire questions from the audience. So I was like, we got to do this. And girl, my DMS were flooded.
00:00:37
Speaker
Yeah, the community is intense. I love all of the questions. Every time I do a Q&A, it's like, whoa. Well, we got probably over a hundred. So I tried to condense as much as possible. So we'll dive in.
Recognition and Family Planning
00:00:50
Speaker
Do you get recognized when you are out and how often? I did more when I lived in Austin, like closer to downtown.
00:00:59
Speaker
back when I would go out a lot more often. Now I feel like I'm always at home, but we also live in suburbia. So not as much, but I feel like maybe once or twice
00:01:09
Speaker
a week. If I'm somewhere, you know, it's like sometimes I'm at the grocery store and I have no makeup on and someone's like, I follow you. And I'm like, Oh, no, no, you don't. That's what I'm always scared of. Not that anyone would ever like come up to me and be like, I recognize you, but I always look so disheveled. I'm like, Oh my God, if someone did come up to me, I would die. Yeah, it's
00:01:30
Speaker
It's jarring for sure. Back when I went out to bars or whatever more frequently and then someone would DM me and be like, I met you last night. I'm like, oh God. But also I don't want to discourage anyone from saying hi to me. Yeah, no, I love it. Say hi. Yeah, if you do, I'll probably tackle you and be like, oh my God, you're the first person to ever do this.
Family Decisions and Pressures
00:01:51
Speaker
That'd be so funny. Yes.
00:01:52
Speaker
Okay. How many more kids do you want? I go back and forth. We, I definitely want at least one more. I could see us being done after three or I could see us being done after four. So I don't know. I think we need a little bit longer of a break between Sadie and next future baby, but the goal is definitely a big family.
00:02:14
Speaker
And you're so young, you can just keep on going. Chris and I were literally like, we've got to stop. So I don't even know if I've mentioned this on the pod, but Chris got snipped in December. So you need to do an episode on it. I know we were going to wait. And I think I've like told everyone on blast, like we were going to wait until we were 35 and make the decision. But then when we had the boy and girl and weren't sleeping, we were like, we're good.
00:02:43
Speaker
Yeah, no, I know a few friends who've also made that call when they were like, maybe three and then they had their second they're like, no, we are done. And we don't feel that way. So I'm like, okay, I feel like I should keep my
00:02:55
Speaker
mind open than if I don't feel super done yet. Exactly. And that's like a question I've gotten asked and, and I try to think of it as like when you or a lot of my friends announced their third or second pregnancy, will I be sad in that moment or happy for them? And I've had it happen two or three times already. And ultimately I'm, I'm just happy.
00:03:17
Speaker
Yeah, that's good. Not me. I know. Trust me. When I think about having to be pregnant again, I'm like, Oh, but it's worth
Motherhood Challenges and Real Experiences
00:03:27
Speaker
it. They're worth it. Oh, for sure. Just the first few months that got me. Um, how do you have your shit together as a mom of two under two? I mentioned this before, but I definitely have health. We have childcare. I also have a very hands-on partner. I,
00:03:46
Speaker
could not do half of the things that I do without Ian and him being super involved. We have a great balance of like who does what when, but I also don't have my shit together. Like a lot of times in a lot of days I am just flailing around or I haven't brushed my teeth and it's lunchtime or, you know, I'm still in a robe. And I think I share that a lot of my stories because it is, it makes me feel better when other people show that side of motherhood too, where it's like, it's hard and
00:04:13
Speaker
I'm often struggling, whether it be mentally or physically or emotionally. And, you know, I think the expectation of having your shit together is kind of overrated.
00:04:24
Speaker
I know I feel like we all appreciate you being forthcoming about what it's actually like on the other side. And maybe your life seems together. If you guys listened to our last episode, you know, she is working hard ahead of time to put all these stories together to put her curated page together. So as it might look like she has it together, she might be that day actually struggling and doing something. So,
00:04:49
Speaker
You got to remember she puts a lot of work into her business. It might not be her actual day to day. So we got to remember that peeps. Yes.
Parenting Attitudes and Snacks
00:05:00
Speaker
Yeah. What is your favorite quick snack? Oh, right now I actually just got a delivery yesterday of, I really love the Aloha protein bars and chomp sticks, which are like basically
00:05:13
Speaker
beef jerky sticks, which sounds disgusting. They're like clean ingredients and they keep you full and they're like a little salty and I love all the flavors. So I definitely have those like on hand in my car and my purse at all times.
00:05:27
Speaker
Um, you are also eating those, like, was it like chocolate, like oatmeal-y balls that taste like cookies? Oh my God. Yes. The heavenly hunks. Those are, I can't even like let myself buy them too often because I will just like down half a bag, but they're so good. And I tell myself like, Oh, they have oats. They're great for milk production. Like I don't actually need to be eating them as frequently as I do. But yeah, those are bomb microwaves for 10 seconds. Yummy little cookies. Whenever I was pumping for like the three weeks I did with Margo.
00:05:56
Speaker
I was eating those like crazy. And I'm like, why am I not losing weight? I know. It's so hard. So good. Okay, this person says I have two twin boys. Do I wait until they are in school to have another or dive right in?
Managing Multiple Children
00:06:14
Speaker
I am team rip the bandaid. I think I would much prefer to be in this like mindset and headspace
00:06:22
Speaker
of this is hard and the sex, but it'll be okay in five years versus waiting five years and then having to start all over again. Yeah. But I also don't have twin boys and I cannot imagine that. I mean, you're pretty close in age. Like when people have asked me, I'm like, I don't know if I would do it this close. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I like being in the mindset of two diapers, two like naps or not two naps, but like they are still napping, but like,
00:06:51
Speaker
Right. Like very much in the milk and bottle phase. Graydon's still very emotionally inept. So it's like, Oh, this is definitely hard. Yeah, it's, it's tough. And I mean, I think it would be nice if Vaughn could listen to me a little bit better or, you know, I could trust him downstairs while I go do something. I have cameras on him and I'm like locking all the doors at all times right now.
00:07:15
Speaker
I think I want my kids to be close in age because my brother and I are four years apart. And so we weren't as close growing up and I just, it's so specific to your family and what you want.
00:07:27
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. So funny. You say about not trusting your kid. When we moved into this house, they had an alarm system and we had it taken out. Cause I was like, Oh, we won't need it. Like I have a nest camera. And now I'm like, why did we do that? I live by that. I've checked the doors on my phone and I have a camera in our living room so that if I'm upstairs,
00:07:50
Speaker
doing something with Sadie, I could watch Vaughn and make sure that he's like in the spot that
Balancing Work and Parenting
00:07:54
Speaker
I left him in. Well, he just started to learn how to like open the door. So I'm like, I'm going to have to put like latches up high. And then Chris and I are going to accidentally get locked out or something or we got to figure that out. Because he's on the move. I know. What was I thinking? I wasn't. Best advice for girlies wanting to have a baby but aren't 100% there yet. I just don't think you're ever going to wake up one day and
00:08:21
Speaker
be like, yes, I want to change my entire life and gain 40 pounds and not sleep for three years. That's never going to happen. So if you want kids in the future, I say just go for it because chances are you're going to be pleasantly surprised if you have kind of been thinking, well, I don't want to do this yet because X, Y and Z and it's going to be hard. Like, yeah, it is. But the good so far outweighs the bad that unless you are on the fence at all about having kids, I say just dive in.
00:08:50
Speaker
That is so sweet. Almost teared up at your answer. Cause it's so true. Like, like you said, like both of us being people that never like imagine being a mom and then it becoming our identity. Now it's so true. It's like, Oh my God, I would do anything for them. And I love that they're my passion right now. So yeah, this question's funny. How many sweat sets do you own? Oh, the shade.
00:09:19
Speaker
Let's remember, it's my job to show them, but I, I'd say I probably have about 20 sets and I wear all of them. And I, you know, my mom is always like, well, which one is this? Or like, which one do you like the best? And I'm like, I, it changes, you know, just as like somebody's pair of jeans. I don't wear jeans every day. I'm at home and you know, on the go with my kids and I, I love an easy matching outfit and it's,
00:09:45
Speaker
It's my passion right now. Well, and they're all very cute. So well, thank you tips for working at home with a baby. I currently have a nine month old. Nine months is tough because it can be. Yeah. Vaughn started walking at nine months. And so that was.
00:10:03
Speaker
I think you need to talk about that because that is wild. I don't know if I'm recovered from the trauma of my friend. He was nuts. He was crawling at five months, like standing up in the crib at six months, walking at nine months. And I just kind of thought that was somewhat normal. If I didn't have my March mom chat, I wouldn't have realized at all that that was not what other babies his age were doing. So I don't know. I just got like a little superhero baby.
00:10:33
Speaker
At nine months, they are meeting a lot of entertainment. So I would say, you know, if you're pro screen time, like I am miss Rachel is great. If you have a call and you can kind of sit them in front of that for 30 minutes. I also am a big proponent of just like wearing them out so that they actually napped really well. So if during their wake window, they're just in a container the whole time, they're probably not going to nap as well as if you just let them.
00:10:59
Speaker
safely you know get the energy out of their limbs and you know put the baby gates up but then just kind of let them do their thing so that when you do have that nap time you can be extra productive but working at home with the baby is no joke so give yourself a lot of grace.
00:11:14
Speaker
I know we have so many people in our group trap, which I don't even know if we mentioned that Olivia and I are in the same September group, even though we have August babies because they came early. Um, but so many people are like, I'm going to keep my baby at home and work from home. And all I could think was, cause I did that was, Oh no, it is so hard. These are so unpredictable. And especially when they're on the move, you can't even concentrate at that point.
Sleep Training Experiences
00:11:42
Speaker
So.
00:11:42
Speaker
Yeah, you're, you're definitely not going to have a very productive day with a baby attached to you. No, it's hard. I, I don't, I hearts out to everybody that has to do that, but yeah. Okay. A fun topic for us. Baby sleep. I think we're on the other side. It's not as bad of a topic, but tips for getting them to sleep and sleep past 5am. We should just play our voice notes.
00:12:12
Speaker
Olivia and I were going through it together. It was a struggle. Yeah, it was. And this is such a trigger topic for me as I stay on my stories all the time. Vaughn was not a good sleeper and I did cry it out with him, sleep trained. And I don't think I did it well enough because I was still doing those pop ins and he just did not get the hang of it.
00:12:34
Speaker
but also every baby is just different. So even if I had done the exact same things I did with him that I did with Sadie, who knows, maybe it, it wouldn't have worked still. But I think remembering it's just a phase and that they will sleep. Von was a horrible sleeper for over a year and now he's sleeping seven to seven at least every single night. So you will survive that. So if you are comfortable letting them just chill in their crib until the time that you want them to be
00:13:02
Speaker
out of their crib, that is the biggest tip I can give you. And also really looking at what time you're putting them down for the night. We ended up adjusting Vaughn's bedtime by about 45 minutes later than what we were doing, even if his last wake window was really long. And that helped the most getting him to like 6.30, 6.45 ish. And then, you know, those last 15 or 20 minutes, even if he was awake, I was like, okay, well, I'm not going to get you until seven because he'll associate
00:13:31
Speaker
that early time with me getting him. So I don't know. I'm no expert y'all. Oh, sleep was so hard. Our kids were going through the four months sleep regression together. And I think like our whole chat was just going down a dark hole. Like, yeah, we're not well. It was so hard. Well, it's so hard when it's like you have this baby that, you know, may or may not be sleeping, but then they get
00:13:56
Speaker
to a point where you feel good. And then it's a regression. And oh, you're also going back to work that same week. And it's just crazy. I mean, Candice and I just released an episode on parental leave. And it's like, you are going back to work so sleep deprived. And they're going through all these transitions. It's so hard. And I feel so bad for all of us women in America that have to do that. It sucks. Alas, here we
Post-Breastfeeding Body Changes
00:14:22
Speaker
are. This is fun.
00:14:24
Speaker
Will my boobs ever feel sexy again after breastfeeding or will they always be floppy pancakes? Mine are flopping in the wind. So I would say unfortunately, unless you are hitting up a local surgeon, you are probably in the same boat as me, which is just, you know,
00:14:46
Speaker
don't look. I don't know. It's so depressing. It was my favorite feature about myself. And then I breastfed. You're so funny. It sucks. But you know, solidarity sister, I fully plan to do some sort of lift or situation whenever I'm fully done. I mean, I'm pro mommy makeover. That's something I would love to do at some point. We'll see if that ever happens. But yeah, no, I mean, I think it's
00:15:17
Speaker
It's depressing for sure. I don't have any other word to describe it when you see that specific part of your body changed so much because you decided to breastfeed. But even if you don't breastfeed, the chances of that happen. Yeah. Like you
Favorite Activities with Kids in Austin
00:15:31
Speaker
only breastfeed for a month, right? And it still happens. So.
00:15:35
Speaker
Well, I mean with Graydon, it was longer. I was six months. Okay. I don't have big boobs to begin with. So like the fact that they still were saggy, I was like, what the frick happened? Like, yeah, I know. I didn't even have boobs. Yeah. Yeah. It sucks. Oh, what are your favorite activities to take your little ones to out and about in Austin? So we do gymnastics once a week, which is
00:16:02
Speaker
definitely more toddler focus, but that's really fun. I love having that on the schedule every week. I know that it's something that he enjoys. He gets his energy out. We also, I need to do this, but it's a little far now from where we have moved, but there's a place called the Thinkery, which is like a big children's museum, science, like sensory situation. We also haven't done the zoo yet, so I definitely want to do that soon.
00:16:28
Speaker
Uh, we just did the aquarium in Dallas, which was so fun. It was a little overwhelming, I think for both of them, but they, they loved seeing some of the animals, like the sharks and you know, the manatees specifically, they were like so into that because it's like the whole arched, you know, room where the sharks are swimming above you. So that was really fun. Um, but yeah, just in a day we go to a ton of parks. We walk almost every day.
00:16:53
Speaker
I just like being outside with them as much as possible before it gets too crazy hot. I feel like Graydon doesn't love being stuck in the stroller anymore going on walks. Do you have to distract Vaughn at all?
00:17:07
Speaker
It depends. It totally depends on the time of day that I bring him and how many snacks I've had. I have given up on keeping the stroller in the car seat clean because he is just such a snacker and he is a lot happier if I bring a few little things for him to munch on. But he is obsessed with Sadie and like loves being near her doing what she's doing. So he's very much in the like, Oh, this is fun. We're sitting next to each other phase right now.
00:17:34
Speaker
That's freaking cute. I know, it's precious. Ever since we got back from our trip to California, Graydon's only wanting Chris, and it was actually funny though because I was like, Graydon, come to me. I missed you, and he was like, Mom, get Margo.
00:17:53
Speaker
Yeah. He's like, you get Mario, I get dad. And I was like, okay, like cool. Thanks. Great. And me is actually hilarious. He makes me laugh so hard. He's crazy. He's so cute.
Mom Influencers and TTC Tips
00:18:07
Speaker
Who is your favorite mom influencer? There's so many. I feel like it changes all the time. You can draw. I really love, um,
00:18:17
Speaker
I love Alec trefs. She is a great follow. She's pregnant with her second right now, but she does a ton of really good baby led weaning content. She has a lot of good recipes for toddlers and babies. And you know, her little daughter is like chopping on a chicken wing at eight months old. She's just like a big inspiration for me. And then I also love, um, purely Pope. She is a Pilates instructor. She has her own app, but she just had twin girls. And I just think the whole twin.
00:18:45
Speaker
Mom content is so fascinating because I'm like, how are you doing what I'm doing times two?
00:18:52
Speaker
So I love following her and her girls too. I've been seeing a lot of twin stuff lately, which I feel like we've talked about recently that I was terrified at our, um, whatever ultrasound for Margo. Cause I was like, if this is twins, I will freak out. Um, I was been saying like that their life hack is waking. If one wakes up, might as well wake up the other and don't wait.
00:19:17
Speaker
And same thing with feeding. Yeah. Like just to do both at the same time, because then it's just going to be like all over the place. So I'm sure that's like something all twin moms have already figured out. But like, I was like, we're like giving advice to twin.
00:19:31
Speaker
But it was like, that would have probably taken me a second to figure out. And then I finally, it would have clicked and been like, oh, that could have made my life easier at some point. All right, this one's funny. Spill the tea. What does one thing influencers do that give you the ick? Oh gosh, just one thing. No, I think I would have to say, I just really hate when
00:20:00
Speaker
they get so caught up in like vague drama with other influencers and then post about it, but not really post about it. And it's like, nobody knows what you're talking about except for you. And there's just a few times recently where I've watched people's stories and I'm like, what are you saying? Like, it's just like they want to get it off their chest. And so they posted on their story and nobody knows what they're talking about. Or I also hate when people like,
00:20:25
Speaker
really tease some big future secret project and we won't know what it is for like a year. That is so annoying. And you're like, it's not that serious. Come on. How do you find time to TTC a second child, which Olivia just told me means try to conceive. What even is a sex life? Well, I mean, I think it's just
00:20:50
Speaker
It's something that you have to prioritize if you're actually, you know, looking at the ovulation calendar and all of that, you have to kind of put it in your schedule like you would a meeting, which is yes, agreed, very unsexy. But if that's, you know, your journey and you're ready for your second, I realized as we were trying, especially with Vaughn, that it's not quite as easy as you think when you're growing up to get pregnant. And I think for the first six months or so of us trying,
00:21:18
Speaker
I wasn't really paying attention to like, you know, ovulation and all of that. And it wasn't until I got those little Amazon ovulationships that I understood, okay, here's when we actually need to be trying. So yeah, I mean, I think it's, it's also something that you can make more fun, you don't have to necessarily think of it as such a, you know, business transaction, like try to, you know, do it on a
00:21:42
Speaker
a weekend night if you can or you know set the mood in some way but I mean yeah it's there's a lot of parts of parenthood that are not sexy or glamorous and this is one of them.
00:21:51
Speaker
So
Importance of Mom Groups
00:21:52
Speaker
yeah, I didn't even think to ask you about how you were trying for eight months. So you were just like winging it. I was. I was getting advice from every angle that were like, you have to download the app. That'll tell you when you're ovulating. And then it's like, you have to do every other day. So I was like getting advice from so many people on how, how to get it.
00:22:14
Speaker
Were you one of your first friends? I was. And that's I think why I just don't really understand all the ins and outs of what I needed to be doing. And I just kind of was like, okay, we pulled the goalie, we're good. But it was like, okay, we're about half a year into this journey, what is going on? And then I realized, I did a little research and
00:22:36
Speaker
um, talk to my doctor too. And she was like, you need to be paying more attention. And I also had very irregular cycles. So it's not like I was just like, you know, completely dumb or, you know, blind to it. But I was kind of thinking through the days of the month and sort of guessing, but not really fully testing. And so once I got those ovulation strips and actually understood like the window of time that was important, that's when things kind of, you know, happened. But the second time around we,
00:23:06
Speaker
tried for one month and got pregnant. And so I think it was a, a testament. Yeah. And you know, I know I, my heart goes out to women who are trying for so long and have issues. And I thank God that we didn't. And I was just stupid and not understanding what we needed. But, but I, well, I wouldn't have known either mentally was still a struggle for me because I was like, Oh God, is something wrong with me? You know, and, um,
00:23:34
Speaker
it still set me a little bit down that spiral. And I was like, okay, I thought I'd be pregnant by now, that kind of feeling. And I can't even imagine if it had gone on, you know, too, too much longer.
00:23:46
Speaker
I know Candace and Shannon both had those ovulation sticks and they were using it so religiously. And I remember being like, cause their periods were irregular. Mine were pretty regular. So I just, all I, all I used was the app and that seemed for me, but yeah, if anyone's struggling like that is definitely a way to go because you don't realize all this, it's actually hard to get pregnant. Like it's crazy. So they're just an average of data and they're not,
00:24:14
Speaker
you specifically. So unless you are doing the ovulation strips or the basal thermometer method, there's really not, you know, another surefire way to know. All right. A big controversial topic, which mom group do you love more and advice for finding your
Adapting to Motherhood Transitions
00:24:34
Speaker
mom group? Oh my God. Well, I can't answer that because it's just, it's two different
00:24:40
Speaker
groups of people completely. My March mom group and I have been talking every single day since like early summer, 2021. And they are my best friends. It's crazy to say that because it was just a bunch of random women I found online. And now I can, you know, confidently say they are some of my best friends in my life. And we've gone on trip together and we talk all the time. And we do, you know, zoom calls and Secret Santa and
00:25:08
Speaker
We all, we have our like main chat, but then we also all have like separate text groups that talk about, you know, different topics. We have like a book club and you know, all the moms who got pregnant around the same time as me with our second babies, we all have a chat. Like there are so many different facets of that chat that make up my life and I would not be who I am without them. And so I was really hesitant to join a second chat and
00:25:35
Speaker
our September chat, I was kind of just like, you know what, I'm going to join to join. If I have any questions about the second baby, it is what it is. And there was also like a hundred people in our chat. And so I was like, you know, a little hesitant. And then we got broken up into like early September, middle September, late September. And so then it became more bite sized. And I actually got to read about people's personalities and what they were doing. And it's kind of started down that same path as my March mom group where, you know, I'm, I'm forming friendships like you and I, and
00:26:05
Speaker
some of the other girls, it's like, okay, I actually do want to, you know, meet in real life and, you know, have our babies meet. And we talk all the time too. So it's, it's been such a special, huge part of motherhood. And I have friends who don't have that at all. And I just don't understand how they do motherhood without it, because it's like no one else in your life, even if you have friends who have kids, chances are their kids are not within one week of your kids.
00:26:32
Speaker
And so being able to be like, are you experiencing this exact thing as this exact time is just invaluable. So to answer the question about how I found them. So the Facebook group Baking Little Babes, I think that's what it's called, is a life changer. You have to join that just it's like a big forum of hundreds of thousands of women and then
00:26:52
Speaker
when you are pregnant you'll see there's if you search the the month of the year in that group of your due date there will most likely already be a due date chat that's kind of started and you can join that and just put yourself out there and you know actually participate and
00:27:07
Speaker
be willing and open to get to know these other moms. I love it. I mean, it changed my life because I didn't have this with Graydon. And so having, like you said, like-minded women, being able to talk to them, falling in love with their kids too, like everyone is so cute. And yeah, I just cannot imagine not having them. I look forward to talking to everyone every day. Everyone's so fricking funny. Like I will laugh out loud at everybody.
00:27:35
Speaker
It's so fun to have that and highly recommend joining Baking Little Babes. We might have answered this in our other episode, but what was harder to use zero to one or one to two? Zero to one was definitely harder for me, but I don't want to invalidate the people who say one to two is harder because it's so baby specific. Sadie is an extremely good baby and I think we're also in a much better
00:27:59
Speaker
place in our lives where I'm working for myself and I have a very flexible schedule and I don't want to discredit that being a huge factor too as to why this is feeling a lot easier.
Encouraging Content Creation for Moms
00:28:10
Speaker
But yeah, zero to one like rocked our entire world and we had no clue what was coming and with Sadie, especially them being so close, it was like, oh, we just did this and I remember how to do all of these things.
00:28:21
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like I blacked out a little at first and I was like, oh my God, I forgot you have to schedule or follow a schedule so tightly. And like, I was so used to being able to come and go with Graydon at this point. So, oh my gosh. Definitely. I mean, I thought it was harder zero to one, but as well. It's all hard too. Yeah. Yeah, literally. Best advice for moms who are looking to start a con or to start content creation.
00:28:50
Speaker
You just got to do it. You just have to not think about who's watching. Don't feel stupid. Even if you do feel stupid, do it anyway. And the space is still wide open. Obviously there are thousands of content creators and nobody's really doing anything that groundbreaking that's that unique. But if you feel like you have a perspective or a POV and you want to talk about it or share
00:29:16
Speaker
Or even if you just want to film your day to day life and, you know, hope others really, it can be super therapeutic and fun and honestly kind of motivating for me. Like sometimes I don't want to work out and I know that I have to film myself working out. So I work out and that's half the reason. And, you know, I think it's become such a natural thing for me, but I know at the beginning it was not. And so I say, just rip the band-aid and lean in and give it a good,
00:29:43
Speaker
you know, three or four months, don't just do it for a month and be like, Oh, well, I haven't gone viral. I got to quit. Like I have been doing this for five and a half years and I did not make a dime off of it for the first year. I think joining programs like the Amazon affiliate program, once you have enough followers, um, the like to know what program, I think you only have to have like 2000 followers use keywords and hashtags and engage in other people's content so that they notice you.
00:30:10
Speaker
and then they'll follow you and maybe reshare your stuff. It's all very community-based. It's so true. We wouldn't have started this podcast without Candace pushing it. She has such an entrepreneurial mind. Shana and I were like, I'm scared. I don't know, putting our lives out there. But once you jump
00:30:31
Speaker
You're so glad you're in that space and it's such a creative outlet and I think a lot of people are held back because they don't know how to do it or their or where to even start so like you said once you just dive in and decide what your niche is gonna be like
00:30:48
Speaker
It gets to be so fun and you get to interact with so many people. And I love having a creative outlet like this. Me too. And I'm sure you do. Yeah, you're so artsy. That's another little thing. I'm like, every time she is drawing something for her kids, I'm like, Olivia, you're an artist. Get that from my dad. It's fun.
Navigating Unsolicited Advice
00:31:08
Speaker
which is another story. Olivia got a bottle painted for her mom's birthday. And I didn't like read it fully. And I was like, Olivia, like, you're amazing. How did you do this? And she was like, dude, I didn't. Yeah, I commissioned an artist to paint like a 60th
00:31:26
Speaker
birthday, like bottle of voo for my mom. It was beautiful and like, so well done. And I sent the pictures to Whitney and she's like, how do you have the time? I don't understand. And I was like, Whitney, I just hate this, but it did remind me of my like, fraternity, cooler painting days. Did you do that? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. I would,
00:31:46
Speaker
girls would pay me to do their dates cooler. So when it was cooler season, I would do like 50 or 60 cool. And it was a nightmare. But it's hard. Yeah, it was so hard and so time consuming. And I would just do like the most insane designs. I'll send you pictures of one of my favorite ones I did for Ian. But yeah, I don't think I could ever go back to that place fully.
00:32:08
Speaker
I got smart with it. I started to hodgepodge shit on there. I was like, I'm not painting that. That is smart. So I don't get the time. So I'd be like hodgepodge and like some maker's mark bottles. Here I am like following it till midnight. That's funny. So worst piece of mom advice you've ever received. I'm trying to think.
00:32:32
Speaker
I feel like we get a lot of unsolicited comments maybe, but. Yeah, maybe. I mean, I think not necessarily advice, but just so many people, whenever I talk about baby sleep, it brings out the absolute worst in everybody, in me and the people that message me. And they're like, well, have you tried a sound machine and blackout curtains? And I'm like, Oh wow, no way. You know, yeah. Or like.
00:33:00
Speaker
I don't know, Von, I don't know how many times I could say this, but Von was just not a good sleeper and I would often, you know, get on my stories and complain about it, just solidarity. And then I would almost immediately regret it every time because it's like people just love to, to share their advice. So it's like the, the bad advice is just anything unsolicited. Like if I'm asking you to help me, that's one thing. But if you're just like,
00:33:23
Speaker
Well, here's what worked for my perfect angel baby. And it's like, okay.
Postpartum Experience Differences
00:33:27
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, and so many people have thoughts about cry it out. It's like, look, I was desperate. Like I don't want it either, but like that's the only thing that fricking worked. Like I'm sorry if that's triggering, but like it's how I'm surviving. Okay. Like, well, and you know, your baby needs sleep just as much as you do and cry it out may seem cruel, but at the end it's really,
00:33:51
Speaker
giving them that tool of putting themselves back to sleep. And I think people think that they're just screaming their heads off for weeks and weeks. And it's like, no, it's maybe like a few hard nights and then you're most of the time fine. For us, it was three nights. So, and it was often on and it trickled down less and less. So it was worth it. She doesn't do it anymore. And I'm like, I've saved her all of this crying that she would have been doing, right? That's what I think I had that makes me feel better. Yeah.
00:34:19
Speaker
So how did Sadie's postpartum differ from Vaughn's? Vaughn's labor and delivery was a lot longer and a lot harder on my body. So it took a lot longer for me to recover. I was in active labor for about 32 hours with him. He just did not want to come down and it was rough. And then I tore with him as well. And so
00:34:46
Speaker
recovery was really hard and I really couldn't walk for like the first week and I you know bled a lot for a long time and it just felt that on top of like being engorged for the first time and you know trying to navigate all these things it felt so difficult and overwhelming and I just had no clue when I was going to feel normal again and then with Sadie it was
00:35:09
Speaker
so much easier. She had a very quick labor. She was about seven hours total. Wow. I did not tear and I also knew what to expect. And so I think that mental piece of it was a lot easier because I was like, okay, this is, you know, my boobs hurt, but it's not forever. And I understand that by next week, it'll be different. And I think that really helped me too. But it was night and day and she also came three and a half weeks early. So I think my body was just very ready to
00:35:36
Speaker
So she just came quick and fast and I was able to get over it. But I think every baby and every postpartum experience is different. And I had kind of two extremes, I would say, for both being vaginal deliveries. The way I was so jealous you had her early. I was like, come on, Margot. I was so huge in August in Texas. And I was just, I think I literally, my body just said no more.
00:36:05
Speaker
What were we thinking having babies in August? Like it's so hot. Never again. Oh my gosh. Oh yeah, literally for me. Um, I was going to say I tore pretty bad with Graydon, but I didn't tear as much with Margo and actually I did tear and they like sutured me up and I actually like,
00:36:26
Speaker
It kind of looks better down there. I'm like, Oh, they fixed me right up there. Like I got a little plastic. So funny. And she was bigger. So I'm like, man, that's weird how that works. Your body's just prepared. I guess. It's surprising. Yeah. That was a lot bigger than Sadie too, which I think also was a contributing factor.
00:36:45
Speaker
I think I had the second biggest baby in our group, which is low key embarrassing, but what
Managing Motherhood Overwhelm
00:36:50
Speaker
can you do? Oh my God, not embarrassing. She's like the cutest chunk ever. And honestly, now looking at photos of all of the babies, she doesn't even look like the biggest at all. No. Yeah. And I don't think she is anymore. She like has leaned up or something, but so that's how it is when, I don't know. I had all those like weird complications of like extra fluid and this and that. So who knows if that attributed, but yeah.
00:37:14
Speaker
What is your go-to self-talk when you're feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated? Oh my gosh, the overstimulation in motherhood is just another level, right? I don't feel like I ever had that feeling and then I had kids and now I'm like, turn the TV off, stop touching me. I mean, there's times when I do have a self-talk and there's times when I do.
00:37:37
Speaker
kind of explode. So I don't know. Oh, yeah. No, I am. I'm not perfect by any means, but I post about this frequently. But I like to think of if I'm having a bad moment, I love the mantra. This is a bad hour, not a bad day. This is a bad day, not a bad life. Like you have to kind of pull yourself out and look at the bigger picture and be like, OK, a lot of shitty things just happened really quickly and I'm overwhelmed and there's food on the floor and the babies are crying. But
00:38:06
Speaker
in the next hour we're going to be on a walk in the park and it's going to be you know so much better than this and let's just get through this moment and I think that's really helped me kind of compartmentalize those those harder moments and I like to look at the end of the day and be like okay today was a good day even if there were some you know harder moments. Are all these sayings I feel like you have the best quotes are all of these in your planner? They are yes actually I
00:38:34
Speaker
I'm so cheesy and just like love a Pinterest quote. You know, I share quotes. They're also applicable to everything you're saying. Exactly. Like if you actually read it and look at it, it really does help. And I have, you know, like automated texts that come to my phone at 5am every morning with like a quote of the day. Like I'm so grandma cheesy. It's funny, but yes, they're all in my planner because I just, I feel like there's certain things that really do snap me out of that mental spiral that we can all be in.
Cherished Motherhood Memories
00:39:03
Speaker
Uh, for sure. All right. Last question. I'm going to ask, um, what is your favorite memory with each child so far? Oh, I'm going to cry. Uh, bond. We, we took bond to the beach last summer and that was the first time really going on a vacation with him. We went with my parents and brother and his girlfriend, and then we flew to.
00:39:28
Speaker
Florida. And, you know, in the moment it was so hard. Like I can't even express to you how hard it was to travel with a 14 month old while I was seven months pregnant. Yeah, I can imagine our flight on the way there got canceled. And so we were in the airport for eight hours and then had to uncheck the car seat, go home, try again the next day. Like it was an absolute nightmare. But then when we got there, like it was just so freaking cute. He
00:39:54
Speaker
was hilarious in the sand and the ocean like kind of freaked him out, but he was kind of curious and just watching him experience this thing that we don't get to see day to day was definitely like a core memory and also just knowing like, okay, we are this little family unit that can make cross country travel happen. It felt like a good moment for us as parents too. But no, he just he is the funniest, sweetest, cutest kid every single day. I feel like I'm constantly
00:40:24
Speaker
taking pictures of him and recording him because I'm like, I do not want to forget this. He says this word or you know how he does this one thing. It's just it's the best. And with Sadie, you know, it's not gonna pretend like we've had so many magical moments while she's like a lump on a log. But I think as she has gotten older, you know, she's five and a half months right now. I'd say like the first time she actually smiled at me and giggled was like a huge deal because Von was so
00:40:51
Speaker
forthcoming with those giggles and like immediately was just cracking up at everything all the time and she was not. And so I was like having to work for it. You're like, I'm a clown. Yeah. I'm like making the pieces and dancing and, you know, tickling her. And the first time she did it, I was like, I did it. And, you know, now when she looks at me, she just does the biggest smile every time we make eye contact. And it's so funny because she has my eyes, like she looks exactly like Ian, but she has my same blue eyes, which
00:41:20
Speaker
I'm very proud of because you are my child, birth you, you know, getting to see those eyes and you know, that big smile every day is, is so fun. And I just know everything that is to come with her and all the big moments that we're going to have. So I'm excited. I know you kind of like look forward to it more. Like a lot of girls in our group are like, the babies are getting more active. Like I don't know what to do. And I'm like, I consider it now like more fun. Like I rather than be like this because I know
00:41:48
Speaker
like with crawling and all that, I know what's coming with it. And I just enjoy that stage so much more. And yeah. Oh my gosh. They're just so cute and sweet. I remember my favorite. I like to remember being in the car and great and telling me, I love you like back for the first time. And like me, like almost like losing my breath, being like, Oh my God. Like it was just like this heartfelt moment and I'll just never forget it. But so
Conclusion and Listener Engagement
00:42:15
Speaker
special when they could start to like tell you.
00:42:18
Speaker
how they feel or what they want. Like you're a person. And now Graydon doesn't stop talking. Oh my gosh. Well, this was so fun and I can't wait to share this with everybody. Thank you for submitting your questions to Olivia. It was so fun to get to hear all the randomness and funniness and sweetness come of this conversation. So thank you again for coming on while Candice was on leave. I know she was
00:42:46
Speaker
missing this, of course, but we'll hopefully have you on again together. Yes, definitely. Thank you. All right. Bye. Bye. Thank you so much for being a part of our mom group chat. New episodes drop every Tuesday and don't forget the group chat is blowing up on our Instagram page. So make sure you're following along over there. All right. Got to go. My toddler just put something in her mouth.