Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
When You Are The Stranger In The Room
10 Plays11 days ago
With increasing automation at work and more opportunities for flexible working the 21st Century is delivering more leisure time than ever before. This is great, but the challenge is ensuring that we derive value from that leisure time and avoid spending it doing chores or watching TV.
Leisure activities do not provider the same sort of structure for social interactions as we experience at work. Instead, we must create that structure if we are to stop being the stranger in the room and start enjoying the activity.
In this episode of Rest and Recreation Michael Millward and Liam Cole discuss the art of starting a conversation and building a relationship.
Liam Cole is a director of Poppins. Agency a London based marketing agency. He has built his career from commission-based sales person to company director by forging constructive relationships with complete strangers.
Liam shares his experience with Michael and provides valuable lessons to anyone who wants to get out more and get involved.
The Independent Minds is Made on Zencastr, the all-in-one podcasting platform, on which you can create your podcast in one place and then distribute it to every platform. Zencastr really does make making content so easy.
If you would like to try podcasting using Zencastr visit zencastr.com/pricing and use our offer code ABECEDER.
Thank you to the team at Matchmaker.fm for introducing me to Liam. If you are a podcaster looking for interesting guests or if like Keith, you have something interesting to say Matchmaker.fm is where matches of great hosts and great guests are made. Use our offer code MILW10 for a discount on membership.
Travel to London
Members of The Ultimate Travel Club can book travel to London or anywhere else in the world at trade prices. Use our offer code ABEC79 to receive a discount on club membership fees.
Visit Abeceder for more information about both Michael Millward, and Liam Cole.
Tech Problems?
If you are using your smartphone to listen to The Independent Minds and experienced connection problems, you would probably like to know that Three has the UK’s fastest 5G network with unlimited data, so listening on Three means that you can wave goodbye to buffering.
Visit Three for information about business and personal telecom solutions from Three, and the special offers available when you quote our referral code WPFNUQHU.
Being a Guest
If you would like to be a guest on The Independent Minds, please contact Abeceder.
We recommend that potential guests take one of the podcasting guest training programmes available from Work Place Learning Centre.
If you have liked this episode of The Independent Minds, please give it a like and download it so that you can listen any time anywhere.
To make sure you do not miss future editions please subscribe.
Remember, the aim of all the podcasts produced by Abeceder is not to tell you what to think, but we do hope to make you think!
Until the next time, thank you to you for listening.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Zencastr Sponsorship
00:00:05
Speaker
Made on Zencaster. Hello and welcome to Rest and Recreation, the work-life balance podcast from Abisida. I am your host, Michael Millward. Today, Liam Cole, who is a director of at Poppins, and I are going to be discussing what it's like to go into new places, being the stranger in the room. Before we get going, I want to remind you that Rest and Recreation, as the jingle at the start of this podcast says, is made on Zencaster.
00:00:36
Speaker
Zencaster is the all-in-one podcasting platform on which you can make your podcast in one place and then distribute it to all the major platforms like Spotify, Apple, Amazon and Google YouTube Music. Zencaster really does make making content so easy. If you would like to try podcasting using Zencaster, visit zencaster dot.com forward slash pricing and use my offer code ABACEDA All the details are in the description. Now that I have told you how wonderful Zencaster is for making podcasts, we should make one. One that will be well worth listening to, liking, downloading and subscribing to. As with every episode of Rest and Recreation, we won't be telling you what to think, but we are hoping to make you think.
00:01:27
Speaker
Today, as I said, my guest is Liam Cole, who is a director at Poppins Marketing Agency in London. But hello, Liam. Hey, Michael. Thank you. How are you doing? Yeah, I'm all good. I'm all good. How are you? Not bad at all. Thank you very much.
Liam Cole's Unconventional Path to Success
00:01:43
Speaker
Could we start, though, by you telling us a little bit about what you do, how you got to the point where you are now running an organization called Poppins? Yeah, of course.
00:01:54
Speaker
My background is always think the easiest way to frame it is is is sales. i Not that I think about it in that way. And the sort of catalyst for for me was was leaving leaving school without about any education. I was one of those individuals that was never very good in school. In fact, actually during my time in school, which was ah frighteningly a long time ago,
00:02:16
Speaker
i i was I was unable to learn at the pace of of other students and as such I was put into separate classes and actually sent away from school to work on. farms and in engineering rooms because they were unsure of of how to best teach me back then. and So I left school with very little education and and and did some building work. I grew up in Cornwall so it's a pretty standard thing when you're not sure what to do to go into some form of of manual labour work and randomly stumbled across ah a job for a company called Everest which I'm sure many people may know of them but a big
00:02:50
Speaker
double glazing and home improvement sales company and it was a commission only job and something about that appealed to me. I don't know that the idea of hustling for for your living and if you're not if you're no good and you don't you don't make any sales you don't you don't make any money and you know you can't pay. You don't eat. Yeah exactly you know I mean fortunately I was living at home at this time so not no but my eating was ah was already covered on on that side of things but yeah um I met my boss at the time who told me all about the role and i I kind of, I don't know, something ignited inside of me really as someone who'd never really been that fussed about working hard in school, there was something about this form of work that excited me and long story short, I i found myself very good at that and ah not because I was a pushy salesman or I was forceful or I had quote-unquote sales techniques or you know using let yes ladders and and all of this,
00:03:47
Speaker
type of stuff that is is well known within sales channels, more because I was able to build very immediate rapport with people. um And that was the that was the start for me with that word rapport, which over my course of my career has developed into what I like to call the art of relationship um building, you know, building deep and meaningful connections with with someone, listening and understanding who they are and what they need and what they're up to beyond what you know what I might may or may not be trying to sell them at that time um and building those relationships for the future because they have and continue to to accelerate my personal career and my growth and and my life really because relationships I built 10 years ago turn into something today or tomorrow. And and that's really what ive what I've always focused on. And and now more prominently at Poppins as the director of growth, very much responsible for
00:04:43
Speaker
for the growth of the company, not not simply um new business, also work across all of our many of our clients, but also expansion as well, the the growth of the company into new regions and new locations. So one of the things that is is interesting, when to hear you describe that, it's all very matter of fact, but You you left school with basically nothing. the The education system hadn't worked for you. But when you look at your LinkedIn profile, you worked in some of the most glamorous organizations in the world. At least glamorous from the perspective of someone who hasn't worked in those organizations and wasn't making use of their services. You worked at right the big concierge brands that were providing the millionaires and the billionaires with
00:05:29
Speaker
the things that they wanted. ye And that again is all relationships. It's like you have to have the relationship with the with the billionaire, but also in order to provide them with what they want to buy them or to find them thee the money can't buy experiences. You've got to have relationships with all sorts of different people.
00:05:52
Speaker
100%. And what I'm about to say now is is not it's not advice, but but it's just fact about about me. I have never really properly ever used a CD, ever. ah All of the ah my career path and all of the things that I've done have been,
The Importance of Relationship-Building
00:06:12
Speaker
I've grown very successfully I believe in certain roles and then I've been found and headhunted and and taken to another one or I've met someone who said, my God, I want you to come and join us and be involved in this or I've been involved in in new launches of companies, for example, Amazon, not launching Amazon, but they had a division.
00:06:32
Speaker
which was, in essence, a daily deals platform, and I was headhunted from the company I was currently at. There was no need to see CDs or anything. ah my My success at that company and and ah that I was relatively known in the space drit was was enough to for me to be drawn to the attention of ah Amazon and the people that were launching that division in Amazon. and It's been very much the same and in everything that I've done, and and equally in Poppins I met.
00:06:58
Speaker
ah Marnie, who's the founder and CEO, an absolutely incredible individual and and highly successful. And we we met purely actually because I was attempting to sell him a membership at Quinn Sensory. I actually failed in that, by the way. So I don't know why he hired me, but ah we we we just but we got on like a house house on on fire. and And in fact, actually, he he tells the story much better than I. but um I was in contact with him for many years and it was just very subtle. I never looked to get something from him. I always looked to add value, whether it was new restaurant is opened, here's some tickets to something, here's some information, here's a great travel we recently planned for a men met member. It was always adding value every time.
00:07:42
Speaker
And I knew that if I continue to do that, that at some point the the conversation would either die completely or the individual or Marnie in this case would say, do you know what? Okay, cool. Actually, umm um yeah I'm willing to give this a ah look because that service of quintessentially is very much about lifestyle and it can be a value to someone at any stage in in their life.
00:08:02
Speaker
um And anyway, long story short, that was the reason why he decided to take a meeting with me, not not because he wanted the service, but and because he was intrigued of of my approach to continually adding value. We met, got on like a house on fire, and and I'm very privileged to be a shareholder and in Poppins and have been with the business since since some of the early days, not the very beginning, but but but very um early into the team there.
About Poppins: Brand Inspiration and Services
00:08:26
Speaker
So what does Poppins do? yeah Great question. We'll be five years old in in February and and when we originally started we were a digital creative agency. so You must have started in 2020 to be five years old next February, which will be February 2025. Exactly. So starting just before the pandemic is not not definitely not the best way to start.
00:08:50
Speaker
you Definitely, definitely not the best way to start a ah business, but I think perhaps it's galvanized us and and brought us to to where we are as a company. I was i was adding that we had started very much as a creative and and technology agency, i.e. we were uniting and great creatives, i.e. people that built brands, etc., with developers. Our feeling, or the feeling of the teams, should I say at the time, was there was a disconnect between um building a brand and then building a website. They weren't they weren't done by the same teams. That was very successful for us. Fast forward, as I said, almost five years, and we've we've grown to at more than 50 people now, and we are a brand marketing and digital product agency. So we build and transform brands. We create all forms of marketing campaigns across social, out of home, you name it.
00:09:41
Speaker
We do it and we also have a a wonderful development team in-house and we build apps, websites and digital experiences for businesses. Right. Tell me about the name. Okay. I'm big into names of organizations because like with Abbacito, people go like, what, what, what, what, tell me. And it's simply a Latin word. It means to put into logical order, deal with the rudiments of a subject and the way in which we spell it, it spells out A, B, C, D. And it sort of just sums up what it is that we do. We put HR into logical order. Why call a company Poppins?
00:10:12
Speaker
Well, so the the story goes, and and this was just prior to so me joining the team, but Marnie with some of the early team members, they sat down and they talked about why why this new agency. you know They had all achieved some some great success in their career and they were trying to put more purpose to this business.
00:10:36
Speaker
And when they sat down, they discussed many, many things, but ultimately two things came to the table. And that was one, they cared deeply about creating the very best work that they can for our clients, something that I believe thoroughly in as well. So it is always about going above and beyond. It is always about delivering quality not just from a ah creative perspective but also from an experience perspective as well so there was a ah magical part there if you like so magic became a thing it was like okay we want to you know we want to create magic for our clients and then the other part was
00:11:16
Speaker
we would like to be and we want to be and I believe that we are a business that that cares for our clients that looks after them that treats them as friends so that builds deep and meaningful relationships with with our clients but one that also looks to work with people that are doing great things now that's not a hard and fast rule that every business has to be transforming the world because that's you know not always realistic in in many instances but and we want to be working with people that are doing great things people we love people we like people we connect with. So the other part then was this carer piece. And then when the team was sitting down, they were like, well, who could embody this carer magician archetype? And one of the teams said, well, Mary Poppins was a carer and a magician. And and so Poppins was was born. Oh, Mary Poppins. Perfect. and it's Simply every way. Yeah, but exactly. Cool. But you're based in London, aren't you? Yes, yes, and indeed. Yeah. Yeah. And of course, ah Mary Poppins was a very famous visitor to London. She arrived by parrot handled umbrella, if I remember correctly from the film, but I prefer more conventional modes of transport myself.
Travel Club and Social Environment Challenges
00:12:24
Speaker
And in order to travel at trade prices, I make all of my travel arrangements, flights, hotels, and holidays through the ultimate travel club.
00:12:34
Speaker
You can also access trade prices on travel by joining the Ultimate Travel Club. There is a link and a membership discount code in the description. Now that I've paid the electricity bill, it is time to discuss relationships. So Liam, people working in different ways, they're increasingly getting more and more leisure time or leisure time in different ways. And in order to make a positive constructive use of that leisure time,
00:13:03
Speaker
They're very often going to have to sort of go and do something by themselves. And that can be very, very daunting. Now, people may sort of think, oh, he's spending a lot of time talking about Liam and all this introduction in his career. But actually, that's what you have done throughout your career. It's like when you say, I've never really had a CV, it's all been down to relationships and the the ability to start a conversation with someone and get to the point, I suppose. and in a way that they don't perhaps realize that you've got to the point. But you also you also talked about all sorts of different other things, which I think are probably very relevant to someone saying, I want to do that activity. I don't have any mates who want to do it as well. I've got to go and do that activity by myself.
00:13:50
Speaker
That's what's putting me off. That's the reason if I'm honest with myself, that's why I'm not doing it. I haven't got somebody else to do it, but I really want to do it. And so how do you do it? How do you push yourself through that door to go into that group, that room where there are a group of people that you've never met before and actually get involved with the group? What's your advice? That is a strong question. I don't think there's any one answer to that and in fact actually I'd like i'd like to give you maybe a bunch of different thoughts and and feelings towards that because and maybe anyone who anyone who's who meets me might think I'm and maybe an extroverted person or someone that's very natural in terms of being with people and everything, but actually I'm i'm someone that could quite happily spend a month completely by myself and and isolate. i'm not you know I'm not one of these people that's an extreme extrovert, so I have to almost turn up the dial in those situations where where I'm at events and everything because I, like many other people, and can go to an event, and I have done before,
00:15:01
Speaker
I'm aware of it now to not not do it and shy away. you know Just have a drink in the corner, eat some food, and be like, oh, there's no one here to talk to. you I'm going to go home. I've done that many, times many, many times before. And I think just a tiny segue is something that I was um was pondering before our our conversation about about side hustles. and And this slightly links into the conversation, which is why I want to mention it, is everyone talks about you know find your side hustle. Find your side hustle.
00:15:30
Speaker
find but great you know definitely find other things you're interested in and passionate about and this can feed into you know some of those hobbies and and and other pieces but I actually think that one of the greatest side hustles you can do is the art of relationship building is putting yourself out there at events or gatherings or a talk or a painting experience event and meeting other people because the greatest opportunities certainly in my career and for those that I um that I speak to come through interactions with other individuals, come through conversations, it comes from knowledge and it also comes from opening doors and and opportunities from meeting people. So I think that this feeds in very nicely into the um into the piece that you're saying because not only can you
00:16:20
Speaker
Not only can you build up the ability to go out and be at these events or experiences and enjoy them kind of socially and whatever you want to do outside the time, but it can also benefit you in many other ways. You know, you can meet someone from going and playing five or five football and you end up working with them or starting a business with them. You know, that that is how life works. And and that's the incredible thing with with meeting people. And we're not even touching on the knowledge and the incredible impact that it has for your mental health and your well-being. It is always one of the most talked about things when you look at longevity experts and some of the most leading people in in that space talking about it. But more directly, how do people how do how do people actually start that that journey
00:17:06
Speaker
It is very it is very very simple. yeah have You have to take the first step. you know there's no There's no magic potion of all of a sudden if if you if you think or say or do this that it's going to be very easy. That's just not the case. Yes, there are great ways to learn through also kind of spending more time with friends and and conversations there. But if you're putting yourself into situations that are new for you, they will be uncomfortable. It's inevitable. It's like going to the to the gym for the first time and lifting weights. It's it's not it's not going to be the most easy and and relaxing and enjoyable experience. and And that's part of growth. You have to be uncomfortable in in these situations if you want to push yourself into things that aren't comfortable.
00:17:51
Speaker
The two just don't work together. I think one of the things that you said was like you have been to events where you've sort of stood in the corner and had a drink, had something to eat and then thought, I'm going home. And I think that's one of the important things to remember,
Stepping Out of Comfort Zones
00:18:05
Speaker
isn't it? That, yeah, you can go somewhere. You can feel fantastic because you've arrived and you're and you're there, or you can feel Yeah, I've tried it. I didn't like it. I'm going to cut it short. Agreed. nothing You're not a prisoner once you're there, but you have to go there. You have to say, what is important to me is that I experienced this, get the courage to go. And then if it if it isn't going to live up to your expectations, then don't go again or leave early. I would also caveat slash challenge that in in a way in that you will take the easy option.
00:18:43
Speaker
It's easy to go to an event and go, oh, it's not quite right for me. I'm going to go like that. That's it's easy to duck out and say that and you can convince yourself of anything. You're like, no one here that I want to meet. This isn't the right space for me. And in some instances that may be true, but it doesn't mean that you shouldn't try. You know, and if you don't try, if you don't try, you don't know. my mum and it always sticks with me and it's a phrase that many people will know but hers if you don't ask you don't get and and that's always been in in my mind yes and I might feel incredibly uncomfortable sometimes you reference my my time at quintensually I had the pleasure of speaking to some
00:19:20
Speaker
amazing people, many amazing people, if if not 99% of them were amazing and these are highly successful, highly intelligent, time-poor individuals that run massive companies or are carving paths in in incredible industries that are changing the world. I felt pretty inferior to those individuals, you know, I was sitting in front of those people trying to build relationship and and build rapport but I just went for it. and i And I think that what people sometimes forget is that they're speaking to people, and they like and dislike the same things that you do. you know It's easy, actually, to find commonality with with people. um And all it takes is questions. It's really just the first step in terms of breaking the ice and just going over and saying, hi. you know and And that's all you have to have to do that is that first step that I think is probably the most uncomfortable for people, and you shouldn't
00:20:15
Speaker
you shouldn't You shouldn't trick yourself by saying... there's no one here I wanna meet, let's just go because that's that's easy, right? That's comfortable. you do You do need to take that first foot forward. Yeah. and So I'm just listening to you there and I'm thinking like, if you decide you're going to go to a bar or pub, you go in and any anyone can go in. They're called public bars. you can Anyone can go in and you are going to be alone. But if you are actually going to get engaged in an activity,
00:20:47
Speaker
When you were talking to these important people, these people are very successful. Yep. they knew that you were coming. And it struck me that like, that's a key part of it. Wherever it is that you are going to go, there will be someone who's said, yes, you can come, or you bought the ticket, or you've checked the location, you've checked you where can I park the car, what
Tips for Engaging in New Activities
00:21:09
Speaker
bus route is it on? you've You've actually had some sort of communication with someone about it. And so actually, there is always going to be at least one person there that you know, because you've spoken to them beforehand.
00:21:22
Speaker
And I was actually, this I mean, you've literally stolen what was, what was in my mind. yeah i feel Oh, sorry. No, na no, no, no. Beautifully so. and and And I thank you for it because that is the softest way to open up the opportunity to communicate with people at events or experiences or or wherever you might be going if you're if you're going outside your your comfort zone let's say you're going to a flower arranging class you know and you you've kind of built up the courage to go and do it you've spoken to the owner of that class and you can quite easily say to that individual you know this is new for me it would be lovely if when i i come you can say hi and and maybe if there's someone there
00:22:04
Speaker
that you can introduce me to or or you know what's the what's the process there? Do you let people go around and and say hi to each other? I think that's such a comfortable and easy way because as you said you do have a connection you bought the ticket from somewhere or you've spoken to someone to to arrange it so lean on them and ask them to introduce you to someone and I think what most people will find is that if they do that they arrive the person comes over and says oh hi michael you know it's great to have you here i i can actually introduce you to um to sally it's her first time as well and then immediately that the introduction the introduction is done the barrier is broken it's not on you but you're then away you know
00:22:46
Speaker
And you've kind of got over in your head the whole, oh God, I need to start a conversation, et cetera, et cetera. It's already been done for you. And I think then that fuels you to go, okay, that wasn't too bad. ah Maybe I'll go and say hi to someone else else. Yeah. It's like we start with the idea that we are by ourselves whereas practically speaking we're not because you know somebody's organized it and then that person wants us to be successful in the group whatever it is that we're doing and so asking them for help is probably a really good way of um of sorting it out yeah yeah definitely and and you know let let's not forget as well that there is
00:23:29
Speaker
And there are challenges with this in that we're all glued to our
Phones as Barriers in Social Settings
00:23:32
Speaker
phones all the time. you know and i and And I think that people, that that's also a challenge for people. And certainly if they're not as comfortable breaking the ice, so to speak, or starting conversations, that it is then more difficult because someone may be on their phone or...
00:23:48
Speaker
these different interactions where you feel as though it's almost like they have a connection with their phone and you're going over and breaking breaking that connection by by interrupting. So it is harder with with digital and and we are we are certainly less able to to be in the moment and to engage with one another because we're permanently distracted. you know The acknowledgement that it is tricky, but again, going back to that point, if if you don't if you don't try, you don't know, and you can use certain little tips and techniques to to break the ice a little bit more, lean on someone else to make an introduction for you.
00:24:22
Speaker
This is, this is true. And you're reminding me of all sorts of situations in my career and life. I used to travel an awful lot with work and I would be in a hotel one night and then going somewhere else in another hotel and all this sort of stuff.
00:24:38
Speaker
And you can end up spending a lot of solo time with nothing to do. And so you go down to the hotel bar and you sit down at a table. And it's one of the things I realized, and it's only listening to you really that brings this back to mind is like the barriers that we put up to like cocoon ourselves away from other people. When you sit down at a table,
00:25:05
Speaker
then you have said, this is my space. If you're standing or sitting at the bar, then you're, that's the public space. That's the space where you can start a conversation with someone. But as soon as you sit down, your personal barrier type space and what you're saying, like with the phone, Oh yeah, I don't know what to say to anybody. I'm, I'm, I'm looking around the room. I don't know what, but I'll i'll make out that I'm busy. yeah I don't want to look like Billy, no mates.
00:25:32
Speaker
So I'll look as if I'm busy and I'm just looking at the phone and there'll be some, well there's a, there's a video of a cat, right? Um, yeah, yeah, I'm busy. Yeah. You bring up a barrier to, that tells somebody that actually you're not ready to be spoken to. What we need to do, I think is like develop some sort of signals, body language, and position ourselves in the public space within the room so that somebody else or or someone else who's in the same situation as us can actually say, well, I'm alone, you're alone. It sounds like a dating show. But yeah that's that's just another type of relationship. But if you say you want to go to a particular type of activity, whether that's flower ranging, playing basketball, playing you know any type of sport, any type of hobby,
00:26:18
Speaker
The moment that you position yourself in your own space makes it more difficult for someone else to contact you or connect with you if you. The longer you stay in the public space, standing, the more likely it is that someone else is going to be able to have a conversation with you.
00:26:37
Speaker
Definitely. and and And that can feel uncomfortable, right? You know, those moments where you just sit stood at an event with it with a drink and you're kind of like, no one's, I don't know anyone. i don't know you know and And they can feel really uncomfortable. But i I completely agree with you. And I would just encourage people to to avoid their phone, to not pick up their phone in those in those situations, because you are you're reverting to safety again, right? You're doing the comfortable, easy, easy thing. And we've all done it. We've all done it before.
00:27:07
Speaker
But going back to your, the piece you mentioned around, you know, body language and stuff like that, and it's eye contact. yes no we We also, if if you walk down the street, and certainly, right, and I live in London, as you said, in in big cities, you pass people all the time. So interacting with every single person is is goingnna is's going to be a lot of effort.
00:27:25
Speaker
but by keeping your eyes up, you know, catching eye contact with someone, just kind of nodding. I always do with people in my street. I would just say morning and high and and that type of often you start to then go up, you know, morning the next day, you just get to know them a little bit more. This is more common in in rural locations because, you know, you don't interact with ah as many people. But the same is said for events. You will catch someone's eye at one point and just say hi. Yes. Just, you know, or just like, you know, a small smile or ah
00:27:56
Speaker
like a nod of the head or something like that. And that you instantly know then whether that person, whether there's an opportunity to go, oh I'll go over and say hi, or maybe it was something passing or whatever. But you have to, you have to lift your head up, you have to try and you have to make yourself open to those communications. And as soon as they start to flow, again, I go back to my point earlier,
00:28:16
Speaker
It's really nice and it's really easy. you know it it It actually becomes comes quite simple. And whether you're the best person in the world at conversing with people and asking questions and getting to know them, fine. you know that that That doesn't matter. But just trying and approaching those first um instances is the important thing, because as soon as things start flowing, you'll feel comfortable and you'll be like, actually, this is not too bad. It's quite nice. I agree with that. I'm thinking back to how we started this conversation.
00:28:46
Speaker
which was essentially with you being very open and vulnerable and telling us about your your school days and your transition from school into employment. I'm wondering what your old headmaster would be thinking that they if they saw you now actually.
00:29:04
Speaker
But what what you were doing was being quite vulnerable. And it's it's just me putting two and two together and probably coming up with 76, but I'm feeling as if, you know, you build up the courage to say hello to someone.
00:29:18
Speaker
And if you're in a new environment, in a new place, you're taking up a sporting activity, for example, is it's it's then to sort of say, hello, it's my first time here and I'm wondering whether I've got the right
Vulnerability in Building Relationships
00:29:32
Speaker
kit. I've never played this before.
00:29:34
Speaker
Right. And that gives you, that then opens the door to have a conversation because it's almost like, hello, how are you? It then is a start of conversation. So every, everything you move the conversation along, so to speak, but you started this conversation by being vulnerable. And that feels like that is, is something that we need to master. It's not a case of.
00:30:01
Speaker
saying hello my name is Michael I'm but blah blah blah but actually sort of saying I'm new so you're being vulnerable I've not been here before anything that's sort of like, you know, yeah, definitely. And I think as, as, as creatures, as beings, you know, something that the human race is, is very open to and is, is, is very good at is helping one another, you know, if you, if you, if you ask someone, if you're in that situation, and you, you went up to someone and say, do you mind, can I ask you for your help with something, you know, Which then goes back to how you built your success at organizations like Quintessentially is like not asking people for something, but giving people something is the way to build a relationship and asking someone a question which enables them to help you is facilitating that part of the relationship.
00:30:55
Speaker
Yeah, 100%. And that's, you know, that's the next key fit piece in this, right? You've plucked up the courage or you've been introduced to someone and you've got a conversation flowing, not everyone finds it easy to maintain that conversation. And by the way, not every conversation flows organically, right? yeah You're going to meet some people where it just might not click as as well. That doesn't mean that you're not going to get on or that person's a bad person. It just means that either at that moment in time, you guys can't aren't quite clicking, maybe they're a little bit off their best, maybe you're you're not quite feeling it, maybe the situation, or maybe you just haven't found the common ground which ignites the conversation.
00:31:32
Speaker
I know i know from from my experience that as soon as you find that common thread with someone, it's a way. You know, it's it's like football fans. It's probably the easiest example. You find out that someone supports the same team as you like. oh my Basically, we're we're we're united. we We have a bond. We both we both support Arsenal.
00:31:52
Speaker
like what Ooh, we don't, we don't. Nobody, nobody, nobody, but and he's not, he's not telling the truth there. Well, I've, I've, i've in the interest of always being honest with you, I've revealed my truth.
Conclusion and Future Invitations
00:32:04
Speaker
say oh Yeah, it's probably best if we leave this, this conversation at that particular point, all this sort of stuff, but it has been extremely interesting, Liam, and you have talked yourself into coming back as well, I think, to talk about the art of the conversation, perhaps, will tempt you back. Yeah, I would love to.
00:32:23
Speaker
For today, it's been great. Really appreciate your time and thank you very much. Pleasure, thank you. Hi, I'm Michael Millward, the managing director of Abecida. In this episode of Rest and Recreation, I have been having a conversation with Liam Cole, a director of Poppins, a marketing and design agency in London. Liam, what is the web address that people can find out more information? Yeah, super simple. It's poppins.agency. I hope people enjoy it. we We put a lot of love and energy into into that site.
00:32:55
Speaker
Great. Another site with a lot of love and energy as well, but you can find out more information about both of us is abbacida.co.uk. I must remember to thank the team at matchmaker dot.fm for introducing me to Liam Cole. If you are a podcaster looking for interesting guests, or if like Liam, you have something very interesting to say, matchmaker dot.fm is where matches of great hosts and great guests are made. There's a link to matchmaker dot.fm and an offer code in the description.
00:33:24
Speaker
If you have listened to to Rest and Recreation on your smartphone you may want to know that 3 has the UK's fastest 5G network with unlimited data. So listening on 3 means you can wave goodbye to buffering. There is a link in the description that will take you to more information and about business and personal telecom solutions from 3 and the special office available when you quote my referral code.
00:33:48
Speaker
If you've liked this episode of Rest in Recreation, please give it a like and download it so that you can listen anytime and anywhere. To make sure you don't miss out on future episodes, please subscribe. Remember, the aim of all the podcasts produced by Abecedah is not to tell you what to think, but we do hope to make you think. All that remains for me to say is until the next episode of Rest in Recreation, thank you for listening and goodbye.