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EP 41: Postpartum Body Image
2.5k Plays2 years ago
Grab a coffee or a glass of wine and join our bestie catch up with Whitney and Candace. Not only are they giving some general updates on their kids and lives…they are venting all about how much of a mind f*ck postpartum body image is. Their bodies look different, they have nothing to wear, and husbands just DON’T UNDERSTAND. If you feel strong and confident one minute and the very next feel like you don’t recognize yourself in the mirror, this episode is for you.
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Transcript
Introduction & Podcast Banter
00:00:07
Speaker
There's no right way to do it. Oh, we're going to get into it. What up moms? This is Whitney and I'm with my best friend Candice and we are the mom group chat podcast. Hi. Hello. I fudged it this morning, but you didn't laugh at me. That was so nice of you. You're walking a mile in my shoes over there. I can never do the intro. I know. It's my favorite thing about you truly.
00:00:35
Speaker
I actually haven't messed it up in a while though. I know. Let's bring it back. I know. I should. I should. I should mess it up next time. Just for fun.
Kids' Swim Lessons & Safety Concerns
00:00:44
Speaker
Well, my gosh, it's been like such a week already. And, um, I feel like we both got so much going on. I would love to catch up about
00:00:57
Speaker
What's going on with Evie and Alice? What's going on with Graydon and Margot? I will say I have a huge weight lifted off my shoulders because Graydon is finally in swim. I'm so happy. Ooh, I can't wait for that update. I'm excited to hear about it.
00:01:13
Speaker
I know Alice has been swimming for a long time. It's been kind of hard to get him in to swim lessons around here just because there's not a ton of options. Like I almost was going down the private route because our neighborhood has like a private pool. I was like, man, I won't be able to start that till.
00:01:31
Speaker
May, June, pretty much June. So I finally got him in and it has literally been looming on me. I'm like, Oh my God, he's two and a half years old. Like everyone's already done all these lessons and it just feels so well. I feel like, um, the whole swimming thing with toddlers is like a little bit of like a fear.
00:01:53
Speaker
Yeah, I don't want to say like fear mongering because I feel like that's too intense for this because they're the fear is legitimate, right? Like kids, especially here in Florida, it's the number one cause of death for children is drowning. So like, don't get me wrong. I get it. Like I get it.
00:02:09
Speaker
But there is a lot of pressure, I feel like to get your kids into swim. Yeah, especially. Yeah. And so feeling it's just one more thing to like feel behind about, you know, like behind, like it was like a milestone that I was delaying for him. Like I need to teach him how to swim and then I don't know. He enjoyed it. Um, it was a roller coaster. Yeah. Remind me, is it, is he doing like ISR or just like normal swim lessons? He's in like toddler transitions, which.
00:02:39
Speaker
I mean, he doesn't have any basic skill other than us like putting him in the pool or the lake. So I just stuck him in like the next class, which is the one where the parents aren't in the pool, which honestly I think is better for Graydon. He's very attached to both of us and would.
00:02:57
Speaker
lash out personally. So I think it's better that way. So Chris took him and I stayed home and Chris was sending me updates like, Oh no, he's upset. He looks unwell. And then he's like, Oh, he's made a friend. He's talking. And I was like, that is my child. He'd rather be chatting it up in class versus doing the actual lesson.
00:03:20
Speaker
Is he going to be the kid that you get a report card home and it says like to jaddy or like talk too much? 100%. And it's funny because our September group brought that up there. Someone was like, did you ever get detention in high school? And I was like, I got it because I talk too much. And they always sat me next to the quiet kid. But then we ended up being
00:03:43
Speaker
friends you're like i'm gonna bring this person into my circle i'm like i'm a breakthrough and this person's gonna shine and chit chat and they always did and that's so funny he's just no we alice is also in the same type of swim where she's in the pool by her not by yourself but like not with us oh i thought i didn't know that y'all moved to that
00:04:06
Speaker
Cause I know Vinny was in the pool a lot. Yeah. Vinny was in the pool. We moved her or she got like, what's it called? She got moved up to this new class probably.
Outdoor Activities & Gymnastics Plans
00:04:18
Speaker
maybe when I was like 30 weeks pregnant. Okay. Uh, so like a couple of months ago now, um, and she loves it, but, and she didn't act, she actually did very well with that transition. But like when she started swim in the pool with us, like she screamed for six weeks. Like I'm not kidding. When you started, it was early. Yeah, we started her at like nine months. Yeah.
00:04:44
Speaker
I feel like though I live in Florida, it's a different like, I felt even more pressure probably than you did just because
00:04:53
Speaker
It's we are surrounded by water all the time. I mean, I live a block or two from I mean, not that she's going to scale the Bayshore Boulevard fence and hop in the ocean. But that's a fear. I mean, my intrusive thoughts tell me she might. So. But yeah, so she's been in there for a while and she's is loving it. And also Vinnie obviously wants her to be like a competitive swimmer. Yeah, we've got we've got goals here.
00:05:22
Speaker
Well, I mean, she'll be great swimming. And I don't know. I just feel like that's always been such a pressure. And he's also, I signed him up for swim and soccer in the same week. And I was like, we're an activity family now. And soccer is a little bit more of a challenge. I asked him which one he liked more and he said soccer. And I was like, I can't tell. Child, you seem unhappy. Yeah. I'm like, um,
00:05:50
Speaker
It's not that he's unhappy. His best friend is in the same class, which she told me they had already signed up. I actually signed him up late. And now I feel bad because all they do is distract each other. And I'm like, I probably shouldn't have put him in the class with him. That mom is probably like, damn, he was doing so good before Graydon came along. They just chase each other around the field. And he's not listening.
00:06:19
Speaker
Oh my gosh. And the first thing the teacher says is, what do we do? Listen. And he's like, booty. And I'm like, oh, okay.
00:06:27
Speaker
so embarrassing. That is so funny. It's not funny. Well, it's not funny, but clearly someone laughed at him saying booty once and now he's like, I feel like that is such a universal kid experience. You say a funny word and someone laughs and then you've learned like, okay, if I say this word, everyone's going to think I'm funny.
00:06:50
Speaker
Well, and the friends, my friend, um, Jack's mom was like, I wonder where they learned that word. And I'm like, it was definitely Graydon because his favorite song is shake your booty, shake your booty. And so he sings that all the time. And now he just says booty. So I'm so sorry. Is soccer outside? Yeah.
00:07:15
Speaker
Yes. Does that go into the summertime? I guess if it's in the morning, it's probably not bad. Yeah, it was only two months and I signed them up like two weeks late. So it'll be done at the end of this month. I don't know why I'm petrified of outdoor activities. Well, it's harder there for you.
00:07:32
Speaker
Oh, it gets so hot in the thought. I just was not a soccer girl anyway, like running around running in general is a hard no for me. I'm not going to lie. I feel like a star. I'm like, this class is for me.
00:07:47
Speaker
Yeah, you because you played soccer, right? Yeah. And so I was out there and like Graydon would kick the ball and then I'd go get it. And then I'm like, I'm kicking it around. I'm like, what up, parents? I played soccer. And Chris is always like, you need to be out there. You're the one that wanted him to do this. So I'm kind of handling him with soccer. And Chris is kind of handling him with swim. But that's fair, even though I mean, we both can go to either. But yeah.
00:08:14
Speaker
I thought our next was going to get into the pool. So that's why I didn't go. I was like, I can't watch this. I knew that he'd be struggling, but then it ended up Chris, not happy. Yeah, that's good. Our next, um, activity we are enrolling in is gymnastics.
00:08:29
Speaker
Because I want grain to do that too. Mm hmm. It's such a good foundation for so many things. You're just good at everything after you do gymnastics. You sound just like Chris. Well, you and Chris both did it. Yeah. And it made like I ran track because I had learned like.
00:08:47
Speaker
All these things from gymnastics about how to run and sprint. And I was good at a lot of sports because of gymnastics. So we're going to, that's going to be our next thing. I will never forget. We were at the rec. I'm scared.
00:09:04
Speaker
No, it's praise to you. And this was freshman year. I think it was during Sigma Chi Derby days. And so we were at the rec field for something, who knows. And I remember being like, someone said that we would race. And it was like a few of us racing. And I thought, oh, I played soccer. I got this in the bag. And you fucking took off.
00:09:30
Speaker
Damn Fox. I was like, holy shit. You beat me. And I was like, uh, excuse me. Like I'm not slow. I was a sprinter and all through middle school and high school can blew me out of the water. I was just like, okay, I'm out of shape or like Candace is really fucking fast.
00:09:52
Speaker
And vault was my event in gymnastics. And part of that was like the power I had sprinting towards the vault. Like if I had gone on to do gymnastics in college, I probably wouldn't have been a. For event gymnast, which is like common sometimes, you know, you and you know, you don't do all the events. I probably would have only done vault and floor. I was what they would call a power gymnast, like tumbling on vault and running was like my
00:10:22
Speaker
Thing I was not that great a bar bars was by far my worst well I could beam is just still to this day like my favorite party trick of yours is you can hold a handstand for a fucking hour like oh my god That is so weird
Socializing During Kids' Activities
00:10:37
Speaker
that you say that because I last night
00:10:40
Speaker
We were outside in the front yard. I don't know why. We're just very obsessed with sitting on the front steps of our house recently. That's what Alice really likes to do. She's a stoop kid. Yeah, she likes to be a stoop kid. And I was like, Alice, I'm going to do a cartwheel. So I did. I did a cartwheel and I was like, oh, my God. But literally just the cartwheel, my wrists ache, my shoulders ache, my hips ached. And I was like, oh, my God. I used to like be able to do this all the time. Like,
00:11:11
Speaker
What happened to me? And then I was telling Vinny how I used to be able to hold a handstand forever and like walk around. Didn't you win? Yeah. Like I used to go to sleepway gymnastics camp and I used to win the handstand contest every year and I couldn't hold a handstand yesterday. So I literally, I know when I was like new, new fitness goal for myself is to be able to get back to a place where I can hold a handstand.
00:11:38
Speaker
Yeah. You were able to do that forever.
Postpartum Body Image & Societal Pressures
00:11:41
Speaker
Like all through college, you and Chris would be doing like back tucks in the yard. Like, Oh yeah. Can we talk about how Chris would just like throw a backflip? And I was like, what the actually the very first time I met him in the dorms, he did a backflip like in the middle of their dorm. And I was like, the fuck he still can do it. He still will just throw it.
00:12:00
Speaker
Well, of course he can. He's he hasn't had babies. OK, yeah, that's so true. And like, also, why can you do that? When have you ever needed that skill? He could have gone into the circus. What would he have done? Trapeze. Here's the thing about Chris. He could have done any of it and he would have been good at it. That's so true. Like, actually, you fit into every category animal tamer tamer. Sure. The animals love him.
00:12:30
Speaker
Trappies, sure. He would have ridden the elephant and done tricks on the elephant. For sure. He's just one of those people who would have been good at everything. You know, you would think that people would hate him for that, but he's so nice and charming.
00:12:48
Speaker
You're like, okay, you're great. It's like, it's just like a funny that we all make fun of him about it. I know. Oh my goodness. Oh, but yeah, so we're going to start gymnastics and I know that like the activities are going to start taking up a lot of our time.
00:13:07
Speaker
Which I kind of like, I'm actually- Me too. Yes. At this point in time, I'm like, okay, we're just sitting around the house waiting for like plans. And now that I have plans and I've specifically timed them, soccer's at 8.30 on Saturdays, which might sound early to a lot of people, but to a mom and now that's been up since six.
00:13:27
Speaker
I've had a day already. Bring it on. Like, let's get out the door. Let's do this. And then nothing is worse. Done. Yeah. Nothing. Nothing is worse than a day at home with no plans as a mom of a toddler and a baby. I don't think the hours. Oh, the morning is so long till that first hours. Drag. I know. Crazy. Yeah. So bring on the activities. My hope
00:13:55
Speaker
And this is what I tell Vinny, because Vinny is like, when it comes to these activities at swim and stuff, like, he's a little antisocial. He doesn't want to talk to any of the other parents. He's like, everyone just keep them. He's like, no one look at me. And I'm of the vibe of like, let's make some friends with these parents and these activities and let's go to a brewery afterwards or something, you know?
00:14:18
Speaker
Let's take our kids to gymnastics and they all get their energy out and then let's go have some beer or something. That sounds fun. That's what I want to do.
00:14:28
Speaker
I feel like I'm kind of like Vinny. I'm a little overwhelmed though, like when I'm in those situations, like I'm so hyper fixated on what Graydon's doing. Maybe I wouldn't be at swim because I could talk to the parents right there, but like at soccer, you're just involved. And I was chasing him around the whole time. You're probably exhausted by the end. I was sweating after. I was like, oh my God, I just worked out. Yeah, I bet.
00:14:56
Speaker
but I kind of do that at daycare too. I'm like in and out. I just want to get in and out, in and out. And one of my best friends, Alyssa, she just started her kids there and she's already, I see her already talking to people and I'm like, she's so nice. I'm just a little more shy, which I know I don't sound shy right now, but I'm a little more shy. I'm sorry, we were just talking about how you were so chatty and they would sit the quiet people next to you.
00:15:20
Speaker
Yes, but have you had a change? I'm no, no, it's the people like have to strike a conversation with me because I'm I don't know. I'm just shy in that way. But if you start talking to me, good luck getting rid of me, you know. Yeah. Yeah. I see that for you, actually. Yeah. I need someone to come talk to me first and be like, hey, is that your son? I'd be like, yes. But I'm not going to be the first one to like chit chat. So.
00:15:47
Speaker
I think that makes sense actually. Yeah. This episode was just going to be a little bit of a catch up with Whitney and Candice. I forgot my own name there for a second. Um, a little catch up and a little vent sesh about postpartum bodies because I'm now eight weeks postpartum. Whitney, you are six months, seven months.
00:16:13
Speaker
and it's not for the faint of heart y'all let me tell you it is a struggle it's so hard like you don't recognize yourself especially those first few months and you feel slightly good because you're losing weight pretty rapidly and your stomach starts to go down but then it's like
00:16:33
Speaker
it stops and then you actually have to start trying to get the rest off and you're like, this is really hard. I don't recognize myself. Like, especially this time around, I got stretch marks on my stomach and I'm so sad about it. I don't know. The second time around, it's been a little bit more tough for me.
00:16:52
Speaker
See, here's what's interesting slash weird about this is like this time around, I feel like it's coming off easier. You look good for real. I mean, I've told you that a million times, but like, thank you. I feel like you look amazing too, though. I'm I was going to say I'm getting to a point where I feel the shift. Yeah, it took me. It takes it just takes me a while.
00:17:20
Speaker
And I've mentioned a million times, I never got all the way back down to my pre pregnancy weight. And I'm still not back to my pre pregnancy weight, but all of a sudden there's been a shift. And I think this is what happened last time. It was like around seven or eight months where I was like, finally I was getting in a groove and could get it off. But yeah, those first few months, I like take rest into being my main point of like my day is sleep.
00:17:50
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like it's been easier this time in the sense of like feeling better. And like, I think just Alice doesn't sit still. So chasing after her has made me a lot more mo mobile this time around. However, what's like, what's hard is my stomach looks completely different after this pregnancy than it did after my first, like, yeah.
00:18:18
Speaker
After my first, I remember feeling kind of shocked at how quickly it went back to looking semi-normal. I mean, it's never going to look exactly the same, but I feel like I've always had a pretty flat stomach before I had kids. Same. That was my favorite part of myself. I'm not kidding. Yeah, same. I've always had a flat stomach. I've always had bigger legs. My arms can get kind of skinny, but my stomach was always flat.
00:18:46
Speaker
I feel like I've always had like an hourglass, like I have big boobs, I have a butt, but like my center has always been like a focal point, I guess I would say. And this time around after this pregnancy, it looks completely different. It is so stretched out and I definitely have stretch marks. And just my skin looks so much more like loose
00:19:12
Speaker
than it did before. And so I think what's a bit of a mind fuck for me right now is that when I'm in clothing, I'm like, okay, I don't feel so bad. Like I sent Whitney a video of me the other day and I got my pre-pregnancy jeans on and buttoned and I was like,
00:19:29
Speaker
I feel good. I feel good. And then I look at myself naked in the bathroom and I'm like, I do not feel good. I know I'm like, turn off the lights. Like I'm saggy McGee over here. So it's so confusing. It's like, I feel good, but I also don't feel good. And of course there's the whole like part of this that's like, you know, I'm cleared for sexual activity now. And like,
00:19:55
Speaker
I my husband is like back to I don't I don't know how to say this without it being weird, but I'm just going to say it like my husband is back to like wanting to, you know, spice things up again. And I want to be that like confident person for him and be like, yes, let's get back into this. But it's so hard when I look at myself naked and I'm like, this is what he's going to be saying. You're like, yeah, you're judging yourself.
00:20:23
Speaker
100%. Yeah, I feel that so hard. I definitely have the same thing going on with my body and I'm like, did I not put enough lotion on? Like I was so diligent about it the first time. I'm like, what did I do different? Did I gain more weight this time? I'm like, what happened where my stomach is just not it. I'm not loving.
00:20:48
Speaker
I think part of it is just, as you get old, every year, I read this once in an article, every year past the age of 30, your body is rapidly losing collagen like all over your body. So every year that you get older past 30, like your skin just isn't as elastic as it used to be. And so I think part of it is just, we are two years, three years older and
00:21:16
Speaker
I mean, I don't want to say that being pregnant is trauma to your stomach, but it kind of is. It's literally, you are stretching your stomach to be three, four, five times the size that it is normally.
Fashion & Self-Image Post-Pregnancy
00:21:31
Speaker
your skin no matter how it's also partly genetic I know that is a huge factor in stretch marks like my mom had stretch marks I knew I was gonna have them I don't know I think it's just partly genetic partly we're getting older and I play mental gymnastics with myself because
00:21:49
Speaker
part of me is I grew two kids and my body is beautiful. And I genuinely do feel that way. I do feel like I'm so proud of everything it's done and all the beautiful things that it has made and how impressive. I do feel that way. But at the same time, I want to look different than I do right now. And I think two things can be
00:22:18
Speaker
Like you can feel both things. Yeah, exactly. And I don't know. And I just, I feel like you're still like in a newborn phase and it's kind of sad, the pressure you feel to get back or like that you want to mentally just get back to your old self. And it takes so long. Like for some people they can get back right away. There's people in my group that are like, I hit my pre
00:22:45
Speaker
pregnancy weight at like six months. And I'm like, couldn't, I couldn't be further. And it's just the way their bodies are. They've worked harder than I have. They've dedicated the time to get back to that. That's what's important to them. And like, it is so important to me and it gives me self-confidence, but it's just like not, it's still not like a big priority, which is horrible, but it becomes a priority when all of a sudden I have things to do.
00:23:15
Speaker
And then I'm sad and I'm like, which I'm, I work from home. So it's not like I'm going in and seeing people all the time. So like the pressure isn't there that way.
00:23:25
Speaker
Um, where I'm like, man, I should get back to myself because people are seeing me all the time and it's like an outwardly view of myself, but, but it's the times I get invited out to do stuff and I'm putting on my old clothes and I'm just throwing them on the floor, throwing them on the floor. And I told Candice this that, um, I met some friends at Cheekwood. We went through the, like the tulip gardens, they have a little train. We let our kids run around.
00:23:52
Speaker
But before we went, I was trying on like 10 different outfits because I either really dress up and wear a dress. And then like, I only have Nike shorts and a t-shirt. Like there's no in between for me. I don't have a mom outfit. And so I was just like, damn, this was really hard. So I just threw on an outfit.
00:24:09
Speaker
Chris watched me struggle. And then like out of nowhere on the way home, Chris said to me, he was like, Whit, I think you need to like invest in a new wardrobe so that we don't have to go through this again. And it really, I know he was trying to be nice, but it kind of hurt my feelings. Like number one, that he brought it up later that he had been thinking about it while we were gone. And two, I was just like,
00:24:36
Speaker
I know Chris, like I know this is an issue that we run into like every now and then, but like, damn, it was like a slap.
00:24:47
Speaker
or like a wall. I don't know how to say it, but it was just like... Well, it's one of those things where when you think it, it's one thing. When someone else says it to you, it's a whole other... It has a whole different meaning. I feel that way a lot. It's like when I think something about my body, if my husband were to say that exact thing I'm thinking to me, I'd be like, how fucking dare you?
00:25:10
Speaker
Even though I've probably thought the same thing about myself, but it's also so interesting as women how we gauge where we're at. I know just like you're talking about, clothing is a big thing for me. It's like I kind of gauge how I'm feeling based on how my clothes fit or how it is to put together an outfit or
00:25:35
Speaker
And it's like, do I kill myself to fit into these clothes that I love and still want to wear? Or do I just fucking buy new? Excuse me, ma'am. That was so loud. She never.
00:25:52
Speaker
Or do I just suck it up and buy new clothes that I actually feel good in this current body? That's what we keep talking about. It's like, well, I, okay, I should buy new clothes, but I don't want to buy something really nice cause I'm not going to be wearing this forever. And so then you go to target and you order from Amazon and then you have to buy two or three sizes up and you're like, well, this is depressing and it still doesn't fit. And you're like, is it because it's cheap? I'm like,
00:26:20
Speaker
I don't like this game. We're dancing around. And it's also like, I'm filling my closet with stuff that like I'm only going to like for a little bit or it only lasts because it's not good quality. Like it only lasts for two or three weeks or, okay, that's dramatic. It's only going to last for six months rather than.
00:26:37
Speaker
It being a staple piece that I could wear for years. I almost feel when Chris said it, it's like I get it. I need those little mom outfits that I can throw on and go socialize in and be able to chase my kids around in.
00:26:54
Speaker
I almost don't want to give myself the out that I have this outfit that way and it's like look I don't want this to be my standard like I that's where I'm kind of like at a threshold I'm like I don't want to buy it because then I'm
00:27:10
Speaker
I don't know the word. It's like you're succumbing to this. Yeah. And it's like, no, I need the motivation. I need to fit back in my clothes. And if I buy this stuff, I won't. Again, it's such a mind fuck.
00:27:26
Speaker
another one of those things that like guys just don't understand like my husband doesn't understand my husband wears my husband has I call it his uniform and he wears the same thing every day so like I he just has no style at all and if I try to buy him new clothes like I did for Christmas he didn't like them so I just don't do it anymore and
00:27:50
Speaker
Um, but I just, I'm like, you don't understand what goes through my brain. It's not just that, Oh, this doesn't fit. I'm frustrated. It's like a whole narrative of like, do I get new clothes? Do I not? Like, this is like, this is the value that this.
00:28:05
Speaker
Dress holds on me or like whatever. It's it's so much more than just this doesn't fit It's like a whole narrative of like I'm not where I need to be like am I attractive? Am I gonna look cute for my girlfriends? Cuz like it's not always about your husband and honestly, it's not it's how like my how I look to myself and I
00:28:26
Speaker
what other girls think because that's really where I want the approvals. Like, Ooh, you look cute today. And you want a cute photo. It's like, yeah, that's a whole nother thing hiding in photos because you, but you want the memory that you have with the little kids at Easter at Christmas, but you're also not feeling amazing. You're like, well, I have the picture, but do I want to post it? Like, yeah, I don't want the judgment.
00:28:53
Speaker
Right. I definitely have that like confident side of me from time to time. That's like, fuck it. I look great the way I am. And I can show up as this confident person and I can, I can like truly authentically do that like 70% of the time.
00:29:10
Speaker
But I feel like 30% of the time I am this super self-conscious, I don't look as good as she looks and she had a baby after me. Or it's a constant comparison to other people who are in the same phase of life.
00:29:29
Speaker
And I just get lost in the mix of not taking, I don't take all of the circumstances into consideration. I don't think about her genetics are different than mine. All I think about is that objectively, she looks better than I do, and I don't wanna go. You know?
00:29:52
Speaker
That's how I feel. And that's I think where Chris was coming from because I hit a wall where I'm like, I just don't want to go because then I'm overwhelmed. The kids are already running around. I'm starting to panic because I haven't gotten ready. And then I'm hot because I'm trying on all these clothes.
00:30:11
Speaker
And I'm looking at Chris like, just leave the room. I'm going to scream. Like I'm so frustrated. Oh, is there anything worse? This is a huge pet pave of mine. If I am doing that thing where I'm trying on a bunch of outfits and I can't find anything and Alice is screaming and you know, if Vinnie makes a comment, like that looks fine. Yep. Wear that. I'm like, I'm like, no, it doesn't. I know. I'm literally like.
00:30:39
Speaker
Literally, I look like a buffalo, okay? Right. Please leave.
00:30:44
Speaker
Oh, my God. And then I'm sorry, I know I talked about my stomach a lot, but the boobs thing is a huge thing for me to my I mean, how many we mentioned this once an episode. My boobs are huge. We know this. But they are so different looking than they were pre baby. And especially this time around, I'm really, really noticing it to where I can't wear a lot of things like I definitely can't wear anything that doesn't.
00:31:12
Speaker
allowed me to wear a very supportive bra. So all these cute dresses that influencers post that are super low cut or spaghetti strap, backless. I'm like, I would never be able to wear that. I need a over the shoulder boulder holder for these. So
00:31:34
Speaker
It's it's so hard. The boobs is a huge thing for me to like everything I try on.
Body Confidence Boosting Strategies
00:31:40
Speaker
I'm like, my boobs look crazy in this or they look so saggy. I don't know if I've said this on here, but I definitely am interested in some sort of lift or reduction post baby. Like if I had to choose one thing that I was going to spend a lot of money on for my self confidence, it's 100 percent my boobs. So a lot of people agree. And that's something like
00:32:04
Speaker
Olivia and I touched on was like, that was where she said it was her favorite thing. And I think if you have big boobs or small boobs, if you've like breastfed at all, your boobs look like triangles at this point. Yeah. Yeah. My, my nipples are pointing down, you know? Yeah.
00:32:22
Speaker
They're not where they used to be, and I think we all would love one, so. Yeah, I related to Olivia talking about that so much, because she was like, that was my favorite thing about me, and I felt the same way. I loved my boobs before I had babies. It was like, I feel like what guys would validate me on, and I look back at photos and videos of me pre-baby, I'm like,
00:32:50
Speaker
God, my boobs were perfect. Well, I just remember in college that guy telling you that you had the best boobs he'd ever seen. And I was like, wow, I will never get that compliment. Well, I'm not kidding. I have screenshots of pictures of myself.
00:33:08
Speaker
from videos or photos of me in an album on my phone that I will take to a plastic surgeon and say, this is what I want. I just want my old boobs back. I don't want some crazy fake, I just want these. So that's in the cards for me. I don't know if I'll ever get my boobs done. Would I love to? Sure, but I've just never been like,
00:33:34
Speaker
a boob person, so. It's just not like that high on my list. Right. I'd like to do other things for sure, but. Yeah. If I can afford it one day. Yeah. Okay. I was going to maybe touch on some things that have like helped my mindset with this. Yes. One of those things is.
00:33:56
Speaker
This is so basic, but it is truly just getting outside and going for a walk. I know that sounds so stupid. No, that's my favorite thing to do. Like if I am feeling shitty about myself or shitty about my body, just taking 20 minutes to go for a walk outside, I come back and I'm like, you know what? I'm good. Yeah, I I'm good. My body is strong. I'm able to move it like.
00:34:23
Speaker
I agree. Walking is probably my favorite thing because I can just listen to a podcast, talk to a friend, send voice notes. I'm like, I just feel so nice to go on a walk. I love it. Probably my favorite thing. The other thing, this is probably like not what you're going to expect me to say, but I know that it's in the cards for me. I mean, I literally just got cleared for sexy time. So this has not happened yet, but.
00:34:49
Speaker
buy some lingerie that makes you feel good naked and I'm talking about like if like for me for example with my stomach like not really looking the way I want you know they have those like sexy leotard looking ones that like are lace but you know what I mean they still kind of like hold you in
00:35:08
Speaker
I'm going to buy one of those and I will feel so much better and we can still have sexy time and feel a little bit. Also, I'm, Whitney knows this, I'm married to a lingerie guy. Like I think every guy is like a lingerie guy. Um, I don't think they're going to like look at you and think,
00:35:28
Speaker
Oh, what are you doing? It's gonna be like, oh, shit, like, let's go. Yeah, I, Whitney, or Whitney, Vinny loves. Vinny loves Laundre, like, big Laundre guy. I thought you were gonna say, like, getting a Dominatrix corset. Oh, I mean, maybe, if that's what you're into. Some leather, happy thing. I mean, that would definitely hold you in, that's for sure.
00:35:57
Speaker
I'd be like popping it open. Yeah, Wendy and I have talked about doing another episode where we talk more about shopping. So I feel like I'll talk about that more in that episode. But following influencers that have similar body types of you that have also had kids, that's been game changing for me to see people put together cute outfits on people that are more my body type. Like it's it just literally
00:36:25
Speaker
inspires me that like, okay, I can look cute in this body right now. And like, like I said earlier, if some influencers recommending this like tiny spaghetti strap, backless, like dress, like that's not going to fucking work for me. And so find some influencers that are also moms that are going to recommend clothing that is better for your body type. You're going to order things that are more fitted for you and make you feel more confident for sure.
00:36:55
Speaker
Agreed. I love following moms that are just postpartum too. Yeah. Cause then they'll throw on like a t-shirt dress and I'm like, Oh, that is exactly what I'm looking for. And I need, thank you so much for wearing that. Yeah, exactly.
00:37:11
Speaker
I know. And Candice and I were talking, you know, cause I was saying, asking her for advice cause you know, she lives in Florida year round. I was like, what fricking jean shorts are you wearing? Where are you buying things? Like what is your cute mom uniform? Like
00:37:27
Speaker
Do I have to go Princess Diana on people's ass and get the biker shorts and like just a button down, which is kind of what I wore mostly during pregnancy. But, you know, it gets so hot in Tennessee. I'm like, what can my little cute mom outfit be? And I was like, I want to go shopping. And we discussed.
00:37:45
Speaker
kind of like gathering things that would fit our body and walking through what we liked, what we didn't like. And I'm really excited because I definitely need more staples like that. Yeah. That I can just throw on and know that I'm looking good.
00:38:04
Speaker
Yeah. And I'm going to be doing a lot of shopping in the next month because we leave for Europe in like 30 days. And I'm, I'm just a girl trying to look cute in Europe, you know? I'm just trying to get a cute pic with my fam in Europe.
00:38:19
Speaker
Just trying to look good in Europe, okay? With my croissant. With my croissant. So we're going to do another episode with our experience with shopping and where
Fashion Brands & Shopping Tips
00:38:29
Speaker
we like to shop, some things we got, and just kind of do like a shopping for your postpartum body episode. So stay tuned for that.
00:38:39
Speaker
Maybe we'll do like a question box of like, where should we look at some that just opened here in Tampa that I used to go to all the time when I was in New York, but I was literally like a hundred pounds less when I that's dramatic, but I was definitely like 60 pounds.
00:38:57
Speaker
Yeah, 70 pounds less for real. But. They are they just open in Aritzia here in Tampa. Yeah. And I know they're a great place for staples. So I kind of want to go there and like try some things on. So many people recommend like Abercrombie jeans and stuff now. And it's so funny. I'm like traumatized.
00:39:22
Speaker
Even though I'm not traumatized, maybe I probably was more so in middle school, but in high school, I loved it because you had to come to Nashville to buy it. And it was so fancy to come up here to Green Hills and get it. And we only had Aeropostale in Clarksville. So it was like, Ooh, you made a special trip to go get that outfit. So.
00:39:45
Speaker
It was like a whole thing with Abercrombie. And now there's so much more inclusive and everyone recommends it. So maybe I'll go in there. They do have good stuff. My favorite pre-baby jeans were Abercrombie and I haven't invested in another pair since and it's time. Well, I just hate going to the mall now. That's like another thing. No. I can't believe I like that. I know. Isn't that crazy? I know. And I'm like, eh.
00:40:15
Speaker
I don't want to go there if I don't have to. I mean, I like to go into Nordstrom from time to time, but it's just like, I don't know. Everything's so thrown around and it just turns me off immediately. I don't know. Yeah. It's like, it's a hunt. I don't want to dig. I just want to see something and be like, yeah, that's what I want. Yeah. That's like, I would love a personal shopping experience.
00:40:39
Speaker
Well, that's what we should bring up newly because you've been liking that, right? Oh, yeah. OK, I do want to shout out newly because they are amazing. If you are pregnant right now, highly, highly recommend looking at newly as well, because it's so great to rent maternity clothes. It's annoying to buy cute maternity clothes because you're only wearing them for a certain amount of time.
00:41:03
Speaker
Nuuly is so great. This is not sponsored or anything. I just love Nuuly and it's a great, great way to try things on without like committing. So if you're trying to find your style postpartum, like that's a great thing. And then also just to be able to wear some things that are higher end and not have to like outright pay for them.
00:41:26
Speaker
And I love that if you really like something, you could buy it from them for a cheaper price. Cause it's obviously like worn already, but highly recommend newly. I've, I really, really love everything. Yeah. The only reason that was like top of mind is because I was, um, at work and my friend looked so cute and I was like, Ooh, I love your outfit. And she said it's newly like she's been using it. And I was just like, Candice really loved newly. And so now I've heard of two people that have
00:41:56
Speaker
had success stories with it. It's really good. And I have tried Rent the Runway as well in the past. And it is, in my opinion, so much better than Rent the Runway. Rent the Runway has way more higher, higher end stuff like Oscar de la Renta and crazy shit. Nuuly has more approachable brands that you would find on Revolve and Nordstrom.
00:42:25
Speaker
I, I don't know. For me personally, I have found a lot of those higher, higher end brands, like those crazy ones that rent the runway. They're just not built for women like me. They're not built for women with like G boobs and you know, so I have found that the clothing at Nuuly is just more suited for me. We'll get them to sponsor, hopefully. I know. If you're listening to this, when you work at Nuuly, let me know. That's so funny.
00:42:52
Speaker
Well, our giveaway just ended today. So hopefully you'll see our announcement for the nose bot on that. Um, what a great guest and great response.
Listener Engagement & Personal Updates
00:43:02
Speaker
So great. Oh my gosh. Yes. Um, and I love all the tips that he gave about swimmer's ear versus an ear infection. That's probably gonna help me so much this summer. And yeah, so be on the lookout for the announcement of the winner on that. Amazing. We also wanted to quickly touch on,
00:43:20
Speaker
Something we had talked about way long time ago, probably back in September, October of last year with Shannon, was we were about to start a format of our show where you can submit to us anonymously, or you could use your name if you want, for advice.
00:43:42
Speaker
It was gonna be ask the moms and you can write into us and we can kind of give you our take or give advice. So we're gonna bring that back. It was something that we really wanted to do. And I know Shannon really wanted to do so. We're bringing it back. I'm gonna repost. I'll do it today.
00:44:00
Speaker
I'll repost the link of where you can submit for that. Again, you can be totally anonymous if you want. And this is not for like, what do you recommend for a stroller? This isn't that type of question. This is like more
00:44:15
Speaker
complicated situations or I want a story time to give me some juice. Tell me some juice about your in-laws or you know what I mean? So I'm very excited about that. If you're in a sticky situation and you need some advice from your friends, this is the time. So very excited about bringing that back. I know it was something that we talked about a lot in the past. So yeah, looking forward to it.
00:44:44
Speaker
Well, I love you. This is such a fun catch up. I love you too. I'm going to go. Oh, speaking of this episode, I have a girl's night tonight. I have a girl's dinner. Nice. And I got to go figure out what the fuck I'm going to wear. Because I am going. Good luck, sir. I'm going to dinner with. OK, three of them are not moms and one of them is an is a newly postpartum mom like me. Do you ever think like what topic should I talk about? Like do you plan ahead?
00:45:12
Speaker
I'm already thinking about it. I'm like, okay, I don't want to be that person that just talks about my kids. So like, what did I do before them? So I come up with all these things. Like, yeah, I'm literally going to be thinking about it all day. Yeah. Also tonight will be Vinnie's very first night. I mean, it's only a couple hours, but with both kids by himself. So pray for Vinnie. Good luck. Very scary.
00:45:34
Speaker
you can do it well i love you love you too thank
Episode Wrap-Up & Social Media Encouragement
00:45:38
Speaker
you so much for being a part of our mom group chat new episodes drop every tuesday and don't forget the group chat is blowing up on our instagram page so make sure you're following along over there all right gotta go my toddler just put something in her mouth