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Michelle Tillis Lederman: The Connector's Advantage
81 Plays5 years ago
Michelle Lederman has just released her new book The Connector’s Advantage: 7 Mindsets to Grow Your Influence and Impact. Named by Forbes as one of the 25 networking experts to watch. She’s a former NYU professor who has since made her mark as an accomplished speaker, trainer, coach and, of course, esteemed author. Her passion is really to help individuals and organizations build better relationships and achieve greater results through her company, Executive Essentials. Michelle has worked with an array of big-name organizations of all kinds, has been featured in The New York Times, and she’s here today to advise us on implementing the most important networking skills that she has learned over the years. Michelle shares with us what it means to be a connector, the different type of connectors, how we are to approach our networks and the mindsets that are required to become better at relationships on all levels. This thought-provoking conversation is guaranteed to pique your interest, so don’t miss out on this one!
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Transcript
Introduction & Guest Credentials
00:00:17
Speaker
Welcome to this week's episode of the Art of Authenticity. I'm Laura Coe, your host, and thank you guys for joining in. We have a repeat. Michelle Letterman is back, but she's back because she has a new book, The Connector's Advantage, seven mindsets to grow your influence and impact.
00:00:35
Speaker
Very interesting conversation today. She was on the show before with her book, The Eleven Laws of Likability. If you haven't checked that out, you know, definitely go back through and find that episode very interesting if you're interested in that subject. She was named by Forbes as one of the 25 professional networking experts to watch. An NYU professor, she was an executive, a CPA, and she works with individuals and organizations.
00:01:01
Speaker
to help them build relationships and get greater results for their company. The company is Executive Essentials. She's been all over the place for nonprofits and Fortune 500 companies, worked with Ernst & Young, all sorts of NBC, ABC,
00:01:16
Speaker
She's been featured in the New York Times and Forbes. Very interesting conversation about connecting, what it means to be a connector, what type of connector are you. You know, people think about their networks and they're not sure how to deal with their networks, how to think about it. She's broken it down into seven different levels and seven mindsets.
The Connector's Advantage Book Overview
00:01:34
Speaker
Very easy to wrap your mind around and somewhere to start if you're stressed about reaching out or if you are somebody who already deals in networks, a really interesting framework.
00:01:45
Speaker
I hope you like today's show. Check it out if you're interested in learning more. All of our links will be on the website. As always, it's Michelle Letterman and it's The Connector's Advantage. Hey, Michelle, how are you? I'm great, Laura. Happy to be here. For the second time. Thank you for coming back. Well, anyone whose podcast is called The Art of Authenticity is a podcast that I want to be part of.
00:02:10
Speaker
Right. It's really aligned with your message, right? It really is. Well, you were such a joy to have on the last time and so many people enjoyed your podcast. If you guys haven't checked it out, The 11 Laws of Likeability, you can go find it on the iTunes Store and listen to our first round. But today we're here to talk about your new book that I guess when this airs it will have already been out, but The Connector's Advantage. So congratulations on getting that done first of all. Thank you. It feels like birthing a child.
00:02:40
Speaker
Yes, and if somebody's written one, I'm impressed with the second because I'm a little stalled on number two. This is actually my fourth and my hopefully last.
Personal Journey & Inspiration
00:02:50
Speaker
Do you think that's true? I think my husband might divorce me if I go for a fifth. Yeah, it's amazing. But somehow, like children, you forget the pain at the beginning and come back around to it as if it wasn't that bad. Yeah. You're like, wrong time to ask me.
00:03:08
Speaker
So, yeah, you wrote the first book and now you're on to this idea of connectors and we're going to get into it and I want to hear all the detail. But I was curious before we jump in, you know, this is all about making valuable connections, right? And I just want to say off the bat.
00:03:24
Speaker
I am somebody who leverages connections like crazy. So I just, I cannot agree with you more about the importance of this in life and how much that has helped me in my business career and my writing career. But were you always somebody who connected easily, who thought about connections? Was this something that you cultivated later in life? What's the history of this for you? I don't think it was something that came easy to me. I think that's actually part of why the first book came about was
00:03:51
Speaker
I tended to be a bit polarizing as a young woman. And I really want to understand what it was I was doing that made people either love me or hate me. And there wasn't a lot of in between. And so I really kind of studied connection and understanding how it forms. And it did take me some time to recognize the value in relationships. It wasn't something that I was cultivating in my college years and in my business school years.
00:04:18
Speaker
I think it was something I enjoy. I enjoy people, definitely, but didn't really understand the value of it. I mean, this book lays out so many important details of what that value is. You do it in such an easy way, by the way. It's very easy to follow. It almost gives it an air, almost overly simplistic if you're careful, but easy is really hard to do.
Levels of Connectors Explained
00:04:43
Speaker
I really appreciated that. Oh, thank you.
00:04:46
Speaker
It's like, oh, it's like a relief to hear that. Why does it not feel that way? You know, it always seems smoother after, but you know, we read something and think that it just flowed out of somebody like that. But really to have all these ideas in your head and put it in a way that somebody else can process it and take it in and then put it into action.
00:05:09
Speaker
You're right. It's not that easy. So the fact that it is something that is accessible for me is so important. Yeah. Yeah. Because that's what it's all about is when you've learned something, trying to figure out how to make it accessible to others in a way that they can hear it as well. And sometimes it's just the right person at the right time.
00:05:26
Speaker
So let's jump into it. You talk about the seven levels of connector, of being a connector. And I love the titles for these, but ranges from the non connector all the way to the global super connector and that we can basically not
00:05:45
Speaker
value the importance of connections all the way to having connections that go past our own country. Can you talk a little bit about these levels of connections and why it's so important to understand them and where you are in that process? Sure. When we think about a connector, the first thing I want to just put out there is a connector is simply somebody who is relationship focused in their approach to people, into life, to business.
00:06:10
Speaker
So they prioritize and they value relationships. That is the most simple definition of a connector. As we think about the spectrum, it is not your non-connector or your connector. There's levels. And I think there's very few people out there that are truly non-connectors. And there's probably introverts listening, thinking, eh, no. If you understand
00:06:33
Speaker
that relationships are important and valuable and you appreciate the people that are in your life, then you are at least an emerging connector. It is only those people that really don't even value relationships and are very antisocial that could be truly classified as non-connectors. So an emerging connector is somebody who is beginning to infuse these mindsets.
00:06:53
Speaker
And basically what I put forth in the book is that connectors have a certain way of thinking and doing and acting that enables the strengthening and the creation of these great long-term connections and real connection, not just the Queen's. And there's two, I guess, letters, if you want to think of it that way, that help you up the spectrum. It's the tendency to initiate or respond to others, whether it's a connection request or a favor request.
00:07:20
Speaker
When you're emerging, you tend to be a little bit more waiting for things to happen and not doing a lot of the outreach. And even at the next level, being a responsive connector, again, you're still a little bit more in the, if you ask, I'm happy to help. If you reach out to me, I'm happy to connect, but we're not initiating. As we start to initiate more, we start to come up that spectrum. And then the other lever is the breadth and depth of your connections.
00:07:43
Speaker
And once we start getting wider and deeper in those connections, then we start to move. We're now an acting connector. So we are infusing these mindsets regularly. We're both initiating and responding, but we might not yet have fully developed the breadth and depth of our connections. If we go deep in a certain area, whether it's a geography or an industry or a function, then we're a niche connector. And it was funny, I was doing an interview last week with somebody from Forbes in the UK.
00:08:12
Speaker
And he shared a story with me that I thought was a fabulous example of a niche connector. He was explaining that the trees along the street had those grates and their tree pits around them, you know, where the dirt is and the tree is planted. And he said they was filled with rubbish and trash and they looked terrible. So he took it upon himself to plant plants in every tree pit along his entire block. He didn't ask for help.
00:08:38
Speaker
As for permission, he just beautified his neighborhood. OK. And as a result, he started to meet everyone on the block. And when he started getting invited to all the parties and he started hearing the gossip and started and he just now he's like the mayor of his area. The unofficial everybody knows John, mayor of his block. And I said that is a great example of a niche connector.
00:09:04
Speaker
of knowing everyone in a certain area. And so that might be the epitome that you need to rise to. You don't necessarily have to rise to be, not everybody needs to be a super connector, even a global super connector. The super connector really takes from the depth into the breadth. And this is where we have connections outside of our history. We have connections outside of our industry. We have connections outside of our geography, our gender, our age, our whatever.
Advantages of Being a Connector
00:09:29
Speaker
And it's really having a finger everywhere. And so the coolest thing
00:09:34
Speaker
was I'm from the US. I'm on a call with somebody from the UK. He's telling me what he's working on. I said, oh, do you know so and so? Who's basically a few years ago did exactly what he's doing now. And he said no. And I was able to put him in touch with somebody local to him doing what he's doing. And he was just like, so that's what a global super connector is, huh?
00:09:55
Speaker
That's so funny. Yeah. And so the next level is being able to do that outside of your country's border. And so why is it important to identify what level you are? Because to your point about the person where you can just stop locally versus somebody who might want a broader reach, is it job specific? What would you say is the way in which you quantify what level is meaningful in your life?
00:10:19
Speaker
You know, it's an interesting question. I don't think everybody needs to have to be at the top. But when we think about the connectors advantage, that's the title of the book, the advantage. So what the advantage is, is simply faster, easier, better. Whatever it is you're working on, whatever it is you're working towards, you're going to accomplish it faster, easier, and often with a better result when you are connected and when you are a connector. So in order to get that advantage, you infuse these mindsets and
00:10:47
Speaker
When you have deeper and broader connections, you're able to add value to your network and to infuse that spirit generosity. You're able to tap in in all different ways and so faster is even faster.
00:11:00
Speaker
Easier is even easier and better is even better. Yeah. Yeah. I can't tell you how important that is. And again, it sounds really straightforward, but we're going to get into this in a minute and I want to move on to the mindsets. But as an entrepreneur and somebody who, at the beginning of my business career, I was doing everything. I had to wear every single hat.
00:11:19
Speaker
I was a billing department, I was a customer service department, right? I did everything. And slowly removing those hats in what order and deciding what it was that I was uniquely good at versus other people and what they were really good at really taught me this idea of leveraging skill sets and making sure that you're really doing what you're uniquely good at and other people are doing what they're good at. And when you get that to work,
00:11:42
Speaker
And somebody else, to your point, can be better, faster, and get a better result than you can. The end product and the ease and pace with which that happens goes up exponentially. But I think people really feel uncomfortable in reaching out, asking for that help, or admitting maybe that they're not great at everything.
Mindset of Generosity & Decision Making
00:12:07
Speaker
I know that feeling. I know all of those feelings.
00:12:09
Speaker
And that's why actually one of the mindsets of the connectors to have a clear vision. And this is one that I've gotten a little pushback on because a lot of times people think as a connector, somebody who is just putting out into the world or just connecting with people. They're they're connecting people with each other and they're really just focused on the spirit of generosity side.
00:12:27
Speaker
and maybe the conscientious side of being a connector. But if you want to get the advantage, one of the most important aspects and one of the most important mindsets is to have a clear vision. Connectors know what they want. They know what they're working on and they know how to ask for it. And that's actually one of the things I try to teach in the book is how do you ask for something without putting a relationship at risk? Right. That's such an important... I was going to talk to you about that. That is such an important thing because that can backfire, right?
00:12:57
Speaker
Oh, yeah. I've had people ask me for something that literally made me step back like, huh? I just met you. Exactly. Or that's the fourth thing you've asked me for, right? You're burning through chits too quickly. Are you going to offer anything? So talk to us a little bit about that. So one of the things you do want to think about is timing. Timing of when you make the ask, but it's also how you make the ask. My philosophy is when you are a connector, you have a mindset of generosity. And even if
00:13:26
Speaker
your giving isn't to the person that you're asking from. Because you have that mindset, I feel like it gives permission and that you should be comfortable. So I don't want you to worry so much about who did I give to and then I can ask. I want you to think about am I embodying the spirit of generosity and being giving in the ways in which I can be. And then as a result, you should feel that it's okay. You have permission to make those asks.
00:13:54
Speaker
And so that's sometimes how we can reconcile that in our brain to give us that permission. So that's one piece of it. Understanding when in the relationship, but making that ask easy for the other person, whether they have to say yes or whether they have to say no. Or I should say whether they get to say yes. Because yes is really easy and no is really hard. And when somebody's going to want to give you a no or have to give you a no, that makes them uncomfortable.
00:14:22
Speaker
And if you can make them comfortable with the no, then you are not gonna put the relationship at risk. Right.
00:14:29
Speaker
Right. That's a great way of saying it. That's a great way of saying it because if you've come at them in a way that there's guilt or there's pressure or there's a sense that the relationship's at risk, right? And then they might avoid you as well. Exactly. Now I feel bad. I'm like, yeah, I'm just going to avoid them. Yeah. And then if they avoid you, you feel insecure and it creates a horrible sort of dynamic or you push into them further and it really isolates you from the friendship. And you have no chance of getting a yes down the road.
00:14:59
Speaker
when somebody's uncomfortable having to have said no. So one of the things I teach is the opt-out ask, the make it easy ask, the non-ask, different types and formats of asking. But here's the, at the end of the day, if you don't ask, the answer is no. If you ask, you immediately increase your odds. And even if what you ask for is not exactly what you get, one of the things I also teach is as a connector, one of the mindsets is being conscientious.
00:15:26
Speaker
And connectors do what they say they're gonna do, they follow up, they follow through. And we need to be very careful about what we say yes to because we could stretch ourselves really thin. So if you're on the other side of that ask, you need to know that it is okay to say no, and you need to understand how to say yes. And so that's a whole other thing I'm teaching the book is that yes and no are never just one word answers.
00:15:50
Speaker
Right. And so I talk about this a lot in the work on authenticity, this yes and no, and people have come on and spoken to it. And I think of this as accessing your truth and figuring out what really
00:16:04
Speaker
where that boundary is, where you're comfortable, a mind, body, spirit, yes, where it feels, you know, right in your body that you're not just doing it dumb and tallying it up in your mind, but you actually feel spiritually aligned with it. But how would you discuss where is that line where a yes, that doesn't feel right, but you're doing anyways and a no right where you've guilt, like how do people navigate that? How do you think that through that? There's two different sizes. Let's start with a no.
00:16:32
Speaker
It's hard to say no. My husband put a sticky note on my monitor and it stuck there for about a good year and all it said was no. I literally, it was his way of saying, hey, remember, this is a word in your vocabulary. You can use this word. Do you think women struggle with it more than men? Probably. I actually never gave it much thought, but probably because we have a more tendency to give.
00:16:58
Speaker
use that sticky to look at it as my mental permission. Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to say no. And to remember that when we say no to something, we're saying yes to something else. And I sometimes say, you know what, saying no to that means I can tuck my kids in that night. Or you know what, I could have a day off and I'm allowed to, you know? So it is helping yourself to recognize that that idea of saying yes to something else makes no a little bit easier.
00:17:26
Speaker
And the other thing is, when I do say no to somebody, I try to give them a way to get a yes down the road. So I will tell them, so for example, I'm sure you get this a lot. We are asked to do a lot of things in a pro bono capacity and for amazing organizations. Well, we really want to say yes. And so we'll talk about a decision criteria with saying yes. So make sure I come back to the yes criteria.
00:17:47
Speaker
that everyone needs to create for themselves. But what I would do in this situation is we create some boundaries for ourselves. And when we create little boundaries for ourselves of what we'll say yes to and what we'll say no to, it helps give us guidance so we're not being reactive and we're being thoughtful in our choices. And so if somebody's asking me to go, and this happened to me, and it was the sister of my aunt's husband, like it was like,
00:18:16
Speaker
You know, what are those kind of, they're somehow not blood related, but somehow related by family. And she wanted me to drive probably close to two hours during rush hour to speak to 30 people for free. Yeah, that's a no. Right. But you know, then you feel bad, it's family, right? And so what I said was, here's how I could say yes to this.
00:18:44
Speaker
I said, if you combine yourself with a couple of other groups and you can get me at least a hundred people and everybody purchases the book in advance, then I can make something happen. And so it's a no, but. No, but here's what I could do. Or no, but here's how I could make it happen. Or no, but here's somebody who might be
Building & Restoring Trust
00:19:04
Speaker
interested. Right, right. The no, but is really helpful in making you more comfortable with no and still finding a way, but here's how I could try to help you some other way.
00:19:14
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. I think that's so important. I love, first of all, I want to come back. I love the idea that you are saying yes to something else. We are filling up our days every day with something. And so while it might be in your face that you're being asked and you're saying no,
00:19:30
Speaker
You are, when you say no, you're saying yes to tucking your kids in. So I think that's such a critical thing to be thinking about and that it doesn't also have to be black and white is what I'm hearing you say, right? It's like there's a variety of ways to say yes and no. It doesn't need to just be this firm no and like a shutdown and a really, because I also think it's awkward, right? So I think people are uncomfortable a little bit with no. So a no, but here's some things.
00:19:55
Speaker
And I also like to think about it as you can be doing somebody a favor because if I'm showing up and it's really a no and I'm dragging and I don't really want to be there, not only am I not honoring myself, but I'm not honoring you because I'm not going to show up in a way that's meaningful to what it is that you're asking from me.
00:20:14
Speaker
Yeah, and we start to resent, and it's not their fault. They did the right thing. They made an ask. Yes, yes. It's your responsibility to determine what is right for you and what is not. And that brings us back to that whole decision criteria. And this was something that really helped me as the requests started becoming more than I could handle, that I had in my head, I had three questions. And everybody has to come up with their own three questions. And maybe it's five questions, and maybe it's two questions. But for me, it was three. And the first question was,
00:20:42
Speaker
Is this related to my core mission of my work? Is what they're asking me to do aligned with my purpose? And if the answer was no, then the next question was, is this a relationship that's really important that I'm doing it just because it's them? And if the answer was then no, then the question was, is there some other reason that I should say yes to this?
00:21:01
Speaker
because that's the catchall. They're offering me a buttload of money. They are sending me on a school vacation and letting me bring my kids. This is an organization that touches my heart in some way. Is there some other reason that makes me want to say yes?
00:21:18
Speaker
And that's how I went through the criteria. And I think that last part of that sentence is such an important one. Is there another reason that makes me want to say yes to this? Like, I want to say yes to it, right? Is there a way in which I can frame this for myself where I actually feel aligned is what I'm hearing you say with that. Yeah. And everyone's criteria would be different. Earlier in my career, it was how much do I enjoy it? How easy is it? And how profitable is it? They were different questions back then.
00:21:45
Speaker
And so you evolve in the questions that help you decide a yes or a no. And then, you know, what could I offer instead was also something that really was helpful for me in being a conscientious connector, right? So this is one of the mindsets is being conscientious.
00:22:00
Speaker
And when people asked me, and my God, there was some great organizations that I really would love to have supported. But again, I wasn't going to travel without a fee and things like that. And they always offer exposure. And I love the saying, you can die from exposure. And so I would always say, you know what? One of the things I can do is offer a webinar.
00:22:21
Speaker
And that is something that is a little easier for me to offer freely to a nonprofit organization. So things like that. So that really helps us start to be able to show up and answer authentically. Gotta come back to that word, right?
00:22:38
Speaker
So you also talk about, so there's the seven, just for everybody in the audience, I just want to make sure we've made this clear, but there's the seven mindsets that you lay out in the book. We've been talking specifically about the first two being open accepted and having clear vision. You talk about this connectors trust and learning about the four pillars of trust, authenticity, vulnerability, transparency, and consistency. How did you come up with these four pillars and what does that mean exactly?
00:23:07
Speaker
So we've been jumping around the seven mindsets, so I'm just going to list them out so everybody's heard them. And then we'll dive into trust a little bit. So as you mentioned, connectors are open and accepting. We talked about having a clear vision. The third is they believe in abundance. Connectors trust. They are social and curious. We've been talking about the fact that connectors are conscientious. And the last one is the connectors have a generous spirit. So we've touched on a few of these.
00:23:31
Speaker
Trust is one that is fascinating to me. And I've been studying trust within organizations for a while. And I developed these pillars of trust through that work. And if we think about those four aspects of trust, authenticity, well, I cannot connect to you if you're not being real. Because if it's not something in front of me that feels real and authentic and genuine, then I'm not going to connect to it.
00:23:56
Speaker
So that's kind of that preventative. I just need to get over that roadblock. Vulnerability is
Conclusion & Where to Find More
00:24:01
Speaker
the one that I've always struggled with and most people struggle with. And I think it's because it took a long time for me to recognize that vulnerability is not about weakness, it's about openness. And vulnerability really leads to credibility. And so being thoughtful about
00:24:18
Speaker
what we're vulnerable with and who we're vulnerable with and when we choose to be vulnerable and understand that vulnerability is not about self-deprecation, it's not about self-blame, it's about self-disclosure and sharing. The third one is transparency, and this is key in organizations, but it's also key between individuals. I think of this a lot from the leadership perspective. If you have a team and the team trusts that you will give them the information when you have it, then they won't be sitting there wondering
00:24:48
Speaker
what you're withholding and making up stories in their head and then sharing those stories to see what they think other people think of those stories. And then those stories spread like wildfire and we start to believe our own stories. And so transparency or the lack of it can really erode trust. But transparency isn't, I'm going to tell you everything that I know. Sometimes it's simply saying, I can't tell you this and here's why.
00:25:10
Speaker
And here's here's what I can tell you and I will. Yes. Yes. So so important. You know, I led my company with these ideas unconsciously. I didn't mean to. But it was just my style. And it puts everybody at ease. And it doesn't mean that you're going to tell them everything. And it's not that you're withholding. Sometimes it's that.
00:25:28
Speaker
But you don't have the information or you haven't made up your mind enough to share in a way that's even of value or will help anybody. So I think really differentiating that you're, you know, to your point that I'm being transparent and vulnerable, open and authentic, real, when it's clear to me so that I can actually do it in a meaningful way, not just filling up information as I'm, you know, processing it myself.
00:25:56
Speaker
Yeah, and sometimes you're not allowed. Like the organization said, this is not public. You can't say anything. And you're in that position. And those are tough lines to walk. But even saying, you know, I don't have all the information, what I have, I'm not yet allowed to share, but as soon as I am, I will come straight to you. And then the last one, and I kind of think of authenticity and consistency as the bookends, because we can build trust without vulnerability, although it really
00:26:25
Speaker
really strengthens and speeds up trust. And yes, you know, transparency is going to again, as well enable trust, but it won't break it. But consistency and lacking authenticity will break trust. Because if you are not consistent in the how you work with interact with people, then
00:26:46
Speaker
You can break trust real fast. And consistency and inconsistency is probably the easiest way to do that. If I never know what I'm going to get, if you think about it, and I love this activity, I do this in my trainings. I have groups of people talk about how we break trust, how we build trust, how we restore trust, but also how do you define trust? And we got some really great definitions. And one of my favorites was the expectation of predictability. And if you think about that,
00:27:12
Speaker
The expectation of predictability, I trust I know what will happen. I trust that my dog will eat my food if I put it in their reach and walk away. I trust my dog will eat my food. I trust to know what their behavior will be. I trust that my dog will protect me if there's an invader. So trust is situational, and it's that expectation. If there is not consistency in the way in which you interact with others, then that is not an expectation of predictability.
00:27:40
Speaker
Interesting. Yeah. And how do you rebuild trust when it's lost? I think of trust as like a mirror. Like you break it the first time, it's like a crack and you can put it back together. But I think over time, if you break it too many times, it's, yeah. It's an interesting analogy, or is that a metaphor? A metaphor. I think when we think about restoring trust,
00:28:07
Speaker
We need to think about whether or not both parties want to. And if both parties don't want to, it probably will not happen. And so a great phrase that I often suggest for people is, are you open to? Are you open to rebuilding? Are you open to discussing? That will give you a sense of is there even a crack in the door of the possibility.
00:28:28
Speaker
And it could be, are you open now or do you need more time? Which is not, no, I'm not open and we're closing the door. It's just, okay, you need a little bit more time before you're ready to hear me out. Right. That could be a good one in relationships. Yeah. And so one is establishing that there's an interest in rebuilding. And once there is, you know, it depends on, is there mutual responsibility or is it one sided responsibility?
00:28:55
Speaker
And a lot of times it is one side of responsibility. And in those cases, the first thing that you should do to restore trust is to acknowledge and take accountability and be specific. Because, you know, like going to the relationship side of things, when somebody says they're sorry, and then the response is for what? And you're like, cause you're upset. No, no, no. What do you think you did that you should be sorry for? You know, like you can just, everybody's had those conversations.
00:29:22
Speaker
So if you are going to take accountability, if you are going to apologize, if you're going to step up, then you need to be clear with the person of understanding what it was that you did and why it was a problem. And without that understanding and that acknowledgement, then you can't move on. So once that's there, then you can then say, here's the actions I'm going to take going forward. Here's what I would not do. I would not say, what can I do to make it better until you've done everything else? Once you've said, here's what I'm going to do, here's the action I'm going to take,
00:29:50
Speaker
And you're patient with understanding that somebody's not going to just the first time you do it better, that it's all over. They need to see, you need to rebuild that consistency that we've been talking about. And so patience is key in that. If in those times when we're doing our check-in or at some point of, here's what I am going to do, is there anything else? That's when you ask. But you don't want to put the responsibility on the other person for
00:30:14
Speaker
telling you how to make it better. It's not their job. Right. Oh, I love it. Those are really thoughtful things. And for everybody listening out there, I think putting this into action, it's own next step. But if you check out the book, she goes into an extraordinary amount of detail laying this stuff out. And I really think you guys should check it out. If people are looking to find out more about you, finding out about the book, purchase the book, where can they find you?
00:30:41
Speaker
Well, if they're interested in learning more about the book, they can go to the connectorsadvantage.com. We always have a BOGO, which is Buy One Gift One, promotion going where we give lots of bonuses away and trainings and chapters of other books and things like that. If you want to find out about me and connect with me, I would love that. Simply go to my website, which is Michelle with two Ls, T-I-L-L-I-S, Letterman, L-E-D-E-R, M-A-N.com. And from there, you can link into me. You can find my blog, my YouTube channel.
00:31:10
Speaker
and there's lots of ways to stay connected. As always, we will have all of this on our website as well, all the links that you need to find her in this wonderful book. Thank you, Michelle, so much for coming on and sharing this with our audience. Thanks so much for having me, Beth.