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EP. 39 The Monkey/Captain America Brave New World
13 Plays3 months ago
Double feature of reviews today along with some wild tangents!
Let us know YOUR favorite Marvel film and how you're feeling about the MCU
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Transcript
Episode Introduction
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello and welcome to episode 39 of the Two Guys One Screen ah podcast, the Hemorrhoid Homies, the Poe Town Boys. I'm joined, as always, by the Edgelord.
00:00:14
Speaker
My name is Nick. And I'm Gerald. We gotta
Sound Effect Debate
00:00:17
Speaker
bring... I guess we're not there yet. I was gonna we gotta bring that sound effect we gotta wait until it actually publishes, right? Yeah. I mean, we might keep that.
00:00:26
Speaker
That's gotta be a keeper. At least in the bank. Spank Bank. I think we have to put it on the soundboard. We'll the fans listen first and then tell us.
00:00:36
Speaker
Sure. Which they won't because they never fucking do. No one fucking does.
Episode Focus: Captain America Brave New World
00:00:40
Speaker
Jesus Christ. No one fucking does. know you're listening. We know you're listening. We see the numbers. Yeah, exactly.
00:00:47
Speaker
um Today, we're doing a little combo join episode on... ah Marvel's newest Captain America Brave New World and the monkey.
00:00:59
Speaker
I did bring back a button to make a special cameo appearance ah for this episode. There you go. Movies are fucking rough.
00:01:10
Speaker
Not good. um 2025, can I just tell you, 2025, my top three movies this year are Presence and then ah Peter Pan Neverland Nightmare.
00:01:22
Speaker
That's fucking crazy. That's where we're at right now. 2025, the year of ass. Year of ass. Complete asshole. I got to see if that's streaming anywhere because still want to watch that. I did see, you know you know who's actually promoting it?
00:01:38
Speaker
Wink, wink, Umbrella. umbrella fucking hype i mean that makes sense because they did the poos right also did you see they're promoting are they were they're releasing like a horror pack and it's like martyrs yeah i was actually kind of interested but it's blue stream horrors right well extreme french horrors how you doing yeah hey well if they do their martyrs release is region free So what about the pack though?
00:02:09
Speaker
I don't know.
Opinions on Recent Movies
00:02:10
Speaker
going have to look into that. Cause I do want to look into getting that. I, I, know it's got high tension. That movie sucks. I like high tension. I think you're wrong. That's fine. What did it for the podcast?
00:02:19
Speaker
Um, I did see something else. I forgot. I forgot now. Damn. In that pack or you're just talking in general, in general about movies. Oh,
00:02:32
Speaker
movieby
00:02:35
Speaker
Mubi might get a little bit of money for me, or at least a free trial, right? Because apparently... Allegedly. Allegedly. ah There's this movie, right?
00:02:47
Speaker
Yeah. Like, it was in theaters. i don't know how the fuck they got away with i like copyright. I don't know. Anyway, it's called Grand Theft Hamlet. I've been seeing so much about this. People have been logging on Letterboxd.
00:02:58
Speaker
People are like raving about it. That people recreated the entire play of Hamlet and Grand Theft Auto Online. Okay, my interest has peaked. Like, I want to watch this. Where can I see this film?
00:03:10
Speaker
You know, Alamo's been showing it. Really? I swear to God. I was like, i'm not going to go see that. I should have. I missed out. Well, people are sucking this movie off. Well, we got to watch it. Oh, yeah.
00:03:21
Speaker
And I saw the trailer on the podcast. Saw the trailer. Haven't even seen that. I've just seen pictures on Letterboxd. It's literally like the trailer is just them. Like, like the guys like doing an introduction.
00:03:33
Speaker
yeah Right. And then these two guys like come down the stairs. Cause he's doing it all live in GTA online. And he's just like talking to him and they start shooting each other. And he's like, can you please not kill each other during our performance? And please do not kill me.
00:03:48
Speaker
ah i want to check that out. I am curious about that. I've never read Hamlet. I don't think. Maybe I have. Couldn't tell you what Hamlet. All I know is that. Shakespeare. All I know is that my former stand partner, AKA a girl you used to date.
00:04:03
Speaker
called it omelet. There you go. And that made me laugh at 15 years old. And now it's kind of ah and fuck with omelets.
00:04:14
Speaker
If you're listening, shout to you, I guess. I don't really want to throw a straight bullet like that. Nah. Shut up. Yeah. If you're listening, you're not. All right.
Social Media and TikTok Issues
00:04:27
Speaker
So follow us on Instagram, two guys, one screen pod, send any comments concerns, movie requests to two guys, one screen pod at gmail.com. Follow us on letterboxd.
00:04:37
Speaker
Follow us on Tik TOK. Follow us on YouTube for the clips. Send us a voicemail at five Oh eight, eight fist us five Oh eight, eight, three, four, seven, eight, four, seven.
00:04:49
Speaker
There you go. There you go. All that's going to be linked in the description. What the fuck's happening with the Tik TOK nowadays? We're up. We're up. They're pieces of shit, but we're up.
00:05:00
Speaker
TikTok, if you're listening, there fuck you. What was their reasoning? Did they give you one? No. So the past two clips that we've posted on TikTok, ah they go video violates our guidelines and then just they just take it down with no further explanation and no option to appeal.
00:05:18
Speaker
So what I've been doing is taking it down and just reposting it. Then it works. And it's getting views? it's it's They're doing fine. we can I'll give you a live update. Oh, we did get a new follower on TikTok, but you're not going to like his name.
00:05:33
Speaker
It's not good. but Okay. No, I mean, Harry Potter should have done better. I'm not happy with the view count on that one. um Yeah. Like, at least 10?
00:05:46
Speaker
We're at 152. On Harry Potter? Yeah. I mean, yeah no. I don't like that, though. Because, like... Nosferatu got a thousand no fraud about a thousand views.
00:05:58
Speaker
That's true. um I don't know. Also, we didn't post for two weeks because I had some shit going on. um At least the clips. like I didn't have a clip ready to post. so I get why it got penalized as far as the views are concerned.
00:06:11
Speaker
How did the algorithm? Yeah, we did get a new TikTok follower. um and Unfortunately, his name is EaglesFantomb.
00:06:21
Speaker
Thank you. ah I'm not even going to lie to you. That might be...
00:06:28
Speaker
No way. Yeah.
00:06:32
Speaker
Got profile picture? It's a car. I know a car he drives. It's a BMW and it's gray. Yep. Oh, well, this just got awkward.
00:06:45
Speaker
Um... Eagles fan, Tom, I won't speak for Gerald, I'll speak for me. Fucking stupid name. All right. Dope-ass car, though. That car is fucking... It's an electric car. The car... I mean, you probably get so much fucking pussy, dude.
00:07:01
Speaker
I mean, that car doesn't change my opinion. Nah. Who is this? I think we got another one. Do you know... Shout out this guy who started or girl. I can't really tell.
00:07:13
Speaker
Oh, it's she, her, hers. That's her pronouns. um Her name on TikTok is no. And her at is Della Prawn and Sporks. No idea, but... Start following us on the talk.
00:07:26
Speaker
Shout out to you. thank you Thank you. And Eagles fan Tom. Hey, great. Thanks for following us. We appreciate it. yeah We have a whopping 14 followers on TikTok. Let's fucking go. We're getting there. Jesus and friends, where are you at?
00:07:39
Speaker
Fucking fake. Yeah, fake ass. um He's got to get resurrected. and I also, I guess shut my cousin out ah who also followed us, but i she gets enough attention on this podcast.
Physical Media Pickups
00:07:49
Speaker
Oh, she just followed us? No, no, she didn't, but... This is about another beef with fucking TikTok. We're getting flagged, and people, because my algorithm's a little wonky right now, people posting full wrestling matches on TikTok.
00:08:03
Speaker
That's kind of crazy, huh? Like, I watched Kane versus Impostor Kane from start to finish on TikTok. No! I did. It came up with my algorithm. How's that? Not getting taken. Maybe Triple H doesn't give a fuck.
00:08:16
Speaker
But. I post. post. Copyright. When I post one little clip of a Joker trailer. and it And we get fucking. Our shit taken down. They're posting full blown. wwe WWE matches.
00:08:27
Speaker
That is kind of crazy. Fuck you people. Fuck you. better TikTok. Instagram. Yeah. Shout out John Cena. Hope he wins this so this Saturday. Elimination Chamber. Yeah.
00:08:39
Speaker
Shout out John. Shout out John. Come on the pod. Come on the pod. Talk about Suicide Squad. Yeah. or Or Blockers. Blockers. That's actually a good movie, John Cena. All right. Yeah. Good movie.
00:08:50
Speaker
You did good. You did good, kid.
00:08:54
Speaker
We'll do some physical media pickups. I feel like maybe you should go first. I got a lot to say. About yours? Just all the experience that I told you about the phone.
00:09:07
Speaker
the one that you didn't want to tell me until we recorded, but then there was a, you know, icing on the cake that I had. Yeah. So you can do. So everyone, uh, my two physical media releases are not in hand, but you have them and they will be in my hand within a couple of weeks. so Bag secured, bag secured.
00:09:26
Speaker
I am, uh, Officially going to be a Poe Town boy again. Chicken's coming home to roost. There you go. Who wants to eliminate Senior? but Not him.
00:09:36
Speaker
Don't want to inseminate him. um Who do you know? yeah but Right. So ah one of my physical media pickups is the Kino Lorber of the movie orca uh came out in 1977 excuse me uh never heard about i mean i i've heard about i've never seen it but i do know it is a knockoff of jaws you watched it is that fair to say yeah it's yeah i like it though
00:10:09
Speaker
That's good. I'm excited. I watched it. I think it's an interesting movie. I think the ending is absolute fucking garbage. two I feel like they ran out of budget and they're like, we just got to end it now.
00:10:21
Speaker
And they just ended it. ah But the I feel like the majority the film is like actually pretty interesting. And it's not exactly Jaws, but it is... you know It's better than Grizzly, you'd say?
00:10:34
Speaker
ah Much better than gave it three and a half stars. Dang. Yeah, I really liked it. I'll probably buy it. I don't think I'm going to buy the 4K, definitely going the Blu-ray. That's good to hear. I'm excited. yeah And I also need more Kino my collection. so Yeah. Hi to you, Kino.
00:10:50
Speaker
Also, shout out to you for wanting these movies I've never heard of to broaden my horizons. There you go. oh Thanks for that. Yeah, no problem. The second physical media pickup is the Blu-ray...
00:11:05
Speaker
Of a Serbian film. MVD. If you know, you know. Can we give the whole scoop on this?
00:11:16
Speaker
Sure. ah Because this ties into my physical media pickups anyways. I was at Bull Moose. Shout out to him. ah As always. And they had ah used copy.
00:11:29
Speaker
And I was on the phone with my my mom, not really paying attention. I pulled out and I was like, 18 bucks with a slip? The slip is fire. Love the slip. The disc artwork, if you know this film, is wild.
00:11:40
Speaker
Wild. ah And I was like, 18 bucks? I think I'm buying a Serbian film. i think I think I'm copying this. So I called you because I felt like it warranted a phone call.
00:11:54
Speaker
Sure. And i was like, dude, they have a Serbian film for 18 bucks, which you retorted with that online. It goes for like 40.
00:12:05
Speaker
Yeah. So it was like, there's only two. Do you want a copy? And I said, you said, yeah, yeah. um The other one was brand new, though. It was 20 something. So we split the difference. But anyways,
00:12:19
Speaker
That's also one of my physical media pickups. um This is a movie where I don't know if I would recommend you to go see it. Don't seek it out. If you think you have a high tolerance as far as like watching disturbing shit, this is a good litmus test.
00:12:36
Speaker
Yeah, because I don't even know if I would classify this as a horror movie. It's categorized as it, but... oh I don't know. so It's like, no, psychological trauma.
00:12:49
Speaker
The movie. I mean, even the back is crazy looking. Yeah. um And I'm not, you know, I'm not hinting at anything, but stay tuned. Maybe.
00:13:01
Speaker
That's all I'm saying on that. ah If you're listening ah and when the podcast has been around for about a year, just stay tuned.
00:13:13
Speaker
Yeah. The next pickup I have is a Blu-ray steelbook because I'm never going to find that 4K that ah that company put out. I forgot their name. I'm sorry.
00:13:24
Speaker
Of Gladiator. There you go. I like it. It's solid. It can go. It's on the wall. I took it down to show you, but it's on the wall. It's a good movie. Classic movie. Yeah.
00:13:37
Speaker
Yeah, very good. Go listen to our episode on Gladiator 2 if you want to. A decent movie. Slash Wicked, another combo drawn for you. Got glicked. Got glicked. And today we got Captain Monkey. I don't know.
00:13:51
Speaker
um But it is funny. My haul that day was two copies the bought for gerald was two copies of a Serbian film, ah Gladiator. um After Bull Moose.
00:14:03
Speaker
On the ride home, I stopped at a Barnes Noble because I initially had went out looking for the Panic Room 4K steelbook, which is just nowhere. um and i ended it all I think it was mid-level media posted a video, and the transfer apparently is not good.
00:14:21
Speaker
That's unfortunate to hear. Yeah. ah But, you know, to each their own. So I stopped at this random Barnes and Noble that I had never been to.
00:14:33
Speaker
Shout out Barnes. Shout out Barnes and Noble, ah except for the ones that don't have a physical media section. Fuck you. And I'm looking through, and their shit is not like the the Barnes Nobles that have the whole physical media drawn, like sectioned out, like where there's gate and whatever else.
00:14:49
Speaker
Yo, Palisades, we can shout them out. Palisades Mall, probably the best Barnes and Noble setup, right? Yeah, and any Barnes & Noble models that are set up after that one is... Yeah.
00:15:03
Speaker
they I mean, they didn't have... like i've I've been to Barnes & Noble that have the whole Criterion section. Oh, yeah. Like an entire Criterion section. The one near me? That one, I went to one in Connecticut somewhere where I bought that ah Collateral 4K. But I'm looking through, and everything is just jumbled together. It's like Blu-rays, DVDs.
00:15:26
Speaker
It's alphabetical, but it's all just jumbled. And they had no boutique sections? No boutique anything. Wow. No Criterions, nothing. They didn't, Studio Ghibli's were trash.
00:15:37
Speaker
um And I see this black spine of a movie that has no title on it. And I'm like, like, what is that? And I pull it out.
00:15:50
Speaker
put my dick out uh not barnes noble i'd be an inappropriate that'd be crime yeah uh and it's the fucking 7 4k dude i'm in the i'm in barnes noble i went oh i literally did that i gasped for air oh i couldn't fucking believe it um oh my god i thought it was a slip but no it's a pullout can i just show you oh my god uh That's the other side. Look at Brad's spit.
00:16:19
Speaker
And then it opens like a, like a John little magnet. Oh, one more time. Oh yeah.
00:16:31
Speaker
God. It's like right here. and like, it's like hidden. You can't really see it. No one can hear me talking right now. I just realized that's fine. Uh, But it is gorgeous. I'm very excited to watch the 4K scan.
00:16:46
Speaker
I did just see this in IMAX for the release, so I'm probably not going watch it for a while. But we have to get to the icing on the cake. So I go up to the counter.
00:16:58
Speaker
I retarded? i didn't close this right. So yes.
00:17:04
Speaker
Oh, God. I thought you did close it right. Well, it wasn't closing. Oh, it goes like this. It goes like this. goes like this. Okay. We got it. Sorry, guys. ah I go to the counter to check out.
00:17:16
Speaker
And you know, Barnes & Noble is always overpriced for everything. Sure. but there's But there's just some things where, like, if you see it at Barnes & Noble and it's overpriced, you're just going to get it because it's hard to find. We should say this, like, you can't find this anywhere.
00:17:28
Speaker
I mean, I went to several Bull Moose stores, and not even the site of it. Can't find it online? Nothing. Like, it's just... This is a ah very rare find. Um... But it was marked at $33 for a 4K.
00:17:41
Speaker
Yeah. That's normal. That's fine. Yeah. I get to the counter. The guy tells me it's either 30% or 20% off, and I had a boner. I was like, are you serious? He's like, yeah. He's like, $23.
00:17:52
Speaker
So I'm going to rub one out right here on your counter. Exactly. Dude, $23 for a movie that you can't find anywhere? That's a dog you and a half. i was so fucking shocked. I was so shook to like my fucking core.
00:18:08
Speaker
um at the end of the year, we have our our you know our and our awards, best physical media find. I think it has to be this one. I don't think we have a better story than that. Unless unless they start printing more copies and it's readily available, but...
00:18:21
Speaker
this my hold up yeah i mean This is wild to find. I could not believe that I found it. I was shocked. Very jealous. When you said there was only one copy, I was like... my I was going to look for you.
00:18:32
Speaker
and i they're just It was just like you can see. There's nothing on it. It's very inconspicuous. The other side has seven. It was there backwards. and Someone might have been hiding that shit.
00:18:45
Speaker
Sorry to someone. If you're that someone, I'm sorry, but also I have it. Take it in the back because I just... Gave it to you in the back. know what saying? Stole that shit. I just fucking jacked it in the back.
00:18:57
Speaker
That didn't work. That was...
00:19:03
Speaker
I also wanted to say the podcast regarding a bull moose experience that I traded in a bunch of shit because I had doubles. things you know I buy steelbooks because i prefer steelbooks and I traded Blu-ray copies in.
00:19:15
Speaker
I had a 50-piece... Like, a not 50 copies, but $50 worth of... In credit. um So I bought, because you guys are probably hearing this, I already bought the 4K Oppenheimer Steelbook, so I had a 4K copy of Oppenheimer.
00:19:33
Speaker
I also bought the 4K release from Arrow of Inglorious Bastards. So I had a 4K Inglorious Bastards copy and a bunch of other shit that's random that kind just brought... Those are the two main jawns that kind of sure brought it up.
00:19:48
Speaker
And I traded in Oppenheimer. And they when you go there, you give them your shit. They go, yeah, you can go look around. We'll call you when we're done. um And the guy is talking to a guy who he's training this dude.
00:20:01
Speaker
So he's talking to him about these movies i'm trading in. I'm not standing too far away. It's like, dude, Oppenheimer fucking sucks. He's like, it's just people talking. It's so boring. I know you haven't seen Oppenheimer yet.
00:20:14
Speaker
ah But that is like sacrilege to be saying in public. I know that great. Yeah. I mean, i feel like talking shit about any Christopher Nolan movies, it's kind of bad, you know, like it's yeah general consensus that he's like a God, ah you know?
00:20:36
Speaker
Yeah, he is. Like even his like worst movies are still good movies, you know? Right. And it kind of really pissed me off because he was just like, it's just people talking.
00:20:50
Speaker
Is that what we've come to? It's just people talking can be very entertaining. And that even fall is just people talking. It's a five-star movie. Literally.
00:21:00
Speaker
So, I mean, to each their own, obviously, but like I just traded these drones in. Just give money. And he's just openly shit-talking about the movie I just traded in. Like, bro, you're going to sell that shit for like 30 bucks. i already know. it's Yeah, exactly. Like, shut up.
00:21:14
Speaker
And then the last thing I wanted to say is while I was browsing, there were, there were two dudes on the other side of the
Heartwarming Collector's Story
00:21:22
Speaker
aisle that I was on. Uh, and one guy was like, uh, experienced,
00:21:28
Speaker
physical media buyer. And I think he was introducing his friend. and And like, I was just listening to our conversation. And like, he was giving the rundown. He's like, yeah, it's like, these are the four K's. These blue rays. Like these DVDs.
00:21:41
Speaker
And the new guy was like, Oh, well the the DVDs are like, they're cheaper. He's like, yeah, but you know, the quality is not going be as good. It just, it warmed my heart to see a guy introducing another man physical media buying.
00:21:54
Speaker
And also, like they were like talking about, should get this for my collection? But I already have the Steelbook. And they're like debating like Steelbook versus Blu-ray, which I obviously always lean Steelbook. Unless it's ass.
00:22:05
Speaker
Unless it looks like shit. Right. They were talking about that. ah It warmed my heart. So, those guys who are not listening, shout out to you. Shout out to you. we love ah We welcome you with open arms, random guy. With open arms.
00:22:17
Speaker
Yeah. Welcome to to our world. And also, if you're not buying physical media, what the fuck are you doing? What are you doing? They're gonna take shit away from you. Mad cheap now. Yeah. hit one yeah Mad cheap. And Bluer, you're cheaper than 4K, so I don't want to hear it.
00:22:31
Speaker
Also, if you don't know where to start, call in. We'll help you out. We'll let you know. We'll we'll give you the DL. We'll give the facts. Yeah. It is the DL. I mean... It is. I mean... People say that this shit's dying, but there have been too many releases recently where you can't find them.
00:22:47
Speaker
Right. So is it dying, or the demand is crazy? Demand is really high. We're going get into our review of The Monkey first, directed by one Osgood Perkins, the second Osgood Perkins film we've reviewed.
00:23:02
Speaker
Did he fall off already? No, i don't think so. I don't know. I have a couple of theories about the movie we can talk about later. Me too. did you ah Did you happen to stay for the after credits? No, there was one. ah I gotta to be honest, I was falling asleep watching this movie. okay so the Not like actually falling asleep.
00:23:19
Speaker
At the very, very, very end after all the credits roll, it played a teaser trailer for his next movie. Which is what? Keepers.
00:23:29
Speaker
Oh, so what do you more were your thoughts after watching that? I'm not too sure what it's about. Okay. It's a horror movie. um But it was just a bunch of women like from different time periods. Like you had like a ah modern chick, like someone from like, you know, the Victorian error error era, era, era.
00:23:49
Speaker
era And then someone from like, look like they're straight out of the witch. Shout Witch. good And they were all just kind of staring at the camera. Then they all started screaming when ladies started bleeding out of her eyes.
00:24:02
Speaker
ah like this movie? Yeah, and then it just said, Keepers, soon. No release date. All right, Osgood.
00:24:12
Speaker
We'll go over your cast. ah We have Theo James, who plays an adult Hal Shelburne and Bill Shelburne. They're twins. I thought he was very good. I liked his performance.
00:24:25
Speaker
I feel like I got his whole performance in the trailer. We can get to that. But yeah. um He's in a lot of shit. I just haven't seen it. And I guess he um he's in a TV show now that's kind of big.
00:24:39
Speaker
Lotus, I think. White Lotus, something like that. Never heard of it. Well, ah Theodore Peter James Canard. That's his full name.
00:24:52
Speaker
But he's called by Theo James. I don't blame him. We have Tatiana Maslany, who plays Lois Shalborn, the mom. She was in Eastern Promises, which I've seen.
00:25:04
Speaker
a good movie. ah She was She-Hulk, the Disney Plus series. She was in Ginger Snaps 2. who So. o Oh, she is literally She-Hulk.
00:25:19
Speaker
Huh. Oh, there you go. So that's not a who that boy who him is. Now she's established, but I've never heard of her. But I think we ain't fucking it.
00:25:31
Speaker
I was going back and forth. My answer is no. What what is yours? Mine's hit it and quit it. umm go I'm going to I'm going to use.
00:25:42
Speaker
yeah We'll just say skip. Yeah. ah We have Christian Convery, who plays both ah the younger versions of Hal and Bill.
00:25:53
Speaker
he's Wow, he's been in a lot of shit. He was in Cocaine Bear. Venom? He was in Venom.
00:26:03
Speaker
Oh, and the rest is not much. But he's a little boy. i don't want to... I mean, we could him with who that boy, who him is, but he's literally a little kid. He's literally a little kid.
00:26:15
Speaker
His performance was good. His was more convincing. Right. We have Colin O'Brien who plays Petey. He was also in Wonka. Who was he in Wonka?
00:26:32
Speaker
His fucking name's not even here. Probably like an extra. Yeah, I'm gonna hit it. Who that boy, who him is. Sorry, kid. He's probably just starting out. Sorry, kid, being a better movie.
00:26:45
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, Wonka's got like Wonka. You don't, but... I don't. ah We have a nice little cameo from Adam Scott, who plays Captain Petey Shelburne. I believe this is the the patriarch, the father.
00:26:57
Speaker
Yeah, Adam Scott's in fucking everything. Literally everything. i mean if you don't know who Adam Scott is, do better. i don't even like him. I'll be honest. I don't like him as an actor. Right.
00:27:08
Speaker
Listen to our episode. He's just in everything. Elijah Wood. I'll be honest. I fucked up. Did not realize was Elijah Wood in the moment. Are you serious? Yeah, I didn't notice. And I i feel bad.
00:27:19
Speaker
And I'm sorry, Elijah Wood. I was like, hey, it's Frodo. He plays Ted Hammerman. you don't even like that fucking movie, you fake bitch. yeah I'm not saying fake. I just know he's Frodo. Yeah, if you don't know who Elijah Wood is, you should do better.
00:27:32
Speaker
i should do better. We have Rohan Campbell, who plays Ricky, a.k.a. Thrasher. I thought this was Jesse Plemons for a long time. then I then looked at the cast, and it was this random dude.
00:27:44
Speaker
He was in a Halloween Ends. I'm sorry. Who that boy, who him is. We have... Dude, he's Corey. Corey.
00:27:54
Speaker
Oh, literally Corey? He literally plays Corey. I'm definitely sorry for you, dude. I guess he looks like... i don't remember what Corey looks like. i don't think about that movie that much. He's fucking horrible. Terrible. Shit.
00:28:06
Speaker
We have Sarah Levy who plays Aunt Ida. That's also... ah Who that boy... Who him is. i mean, based on this picture, she's kind of a piece. The L.R. box picture?
00:28:19
Speaker
Yeah, she must have been in a lot of makeup. She's a redhead. Shout out. Shout out to redheads. If you're out there, I'm looking. I'm fucking every redhead I see, so that's just how it is. I'm dicking you down, bro. I did not know this next one.
00:28:33
Speaker
Osgood Perkins. Himself. The man himself showed up as Uncle Chip. He had a nice little fun cameo. Uh...
00:28:44
Speaker
Nico Del Rio plays the rookie priest. ah Arguably the best performance in the movie. Literally. He doesn't have many lines, but he's funny. It did kind of annoy me that the clip of him in the trailer going, oh, fuck.
00:28:58
Speaker
um Was in the trailer? Well, no. Put in the trailer, fine. It happened in the movie everybody was laughing at it. I'm like, it was in the trailer. It was in the trailer. I get it. That's a that's funny, but it's in the trailer.
00:29:11
Speaker
But unfortunately, he is a... Who that boy, who him is. We have Zaya Newton, who plays Dwayne. He's the manager at that store. He was funny.
00:29:23
Speaker
I guess. Who that boy, who him is. so He's a cute kid, but he can get dicked down. Sorry. Age? Whoa. I don't know. as There's no information on him here. He's vaping. He's got to be.
00:29:35
Speaker
He's a man, though. It doesn't really matter. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I'm joking. Okay? I'm joking. I'm kidding. we need Do we need to announce the rest of these people?
00:29:46
Speaker
I don't think so. I don't think so. I will give out Laura Minnell. ah She was Petey's mom. I'd give her the pipe. This is a very light on the fuckable cast list. She's also in Trick or Treat and Watchmen.
00:30:04
Speaker
Who the fuck is she in Trick or Treat? Laura Minnell. Go listen to that episode, by Not enough views on that episode. Allie, whoever the fuck that is. Probably like side character.
00:30:17
Speaker
How far down is she? Deep.
00:30:21
Speaker
She's in 13 Ghosts. Oh, you know you know who she was? She was probably one of the girls that were vampires. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Or werewolves? Werewolves.
00:30:32
Speaker
Sorry. That makes sense. I almost just lost the time recording. That's all. Wouldn't be good. Oh, let me tell you about my theater experience real quick.
00:30:43
Speaker
Go. Yeah, please.
00:30:47
Speaker
So I bought my ticket.
00:30:50
Speaker
And I sat in my seat. ah And I went to push my little, ah you know, recline button. Didn't fucking work.
00:31:02
Speaker
Right. right. was already fucking pissed off. Yeah. My little recline John didn't work. So I pulled the Regal app back up and I went to see if there was anybody like that bought the seats next to me.
00:31:14
Speaker
Sure. They didn't. So I moved one. Yeah. I moved one to the right. Right. My little John came up. Right. I was happy again. ah And then about two seconds later, ah this bitch came in and sat next to me. And I know said bitch because ah she is the bitch that prevented me from getting promoted for so long. And she's fucking retarded.
00:31:43
Speaker
wait wait wait wait wait wait back the fuck up yeah back the fuck up okay so you're you move over a seat yeah right and then she sits in a different seat no she sits in the seat next to me um like like like she had i moved yeah i moved one to the right because when she bought it because she figured to be a gap yes And she sits right next to you. Okay. And she's your boss at your.
00:32:10
Speaker
She was. Current slash former job. At my. Well. No. Not at this. The current job. The. At ShopRite. Shout out ShopRite. Yeah. Actually. We should probably bleep that in case you go back.
00:32:23
Speaker
Ah. They'll never know where I am. Also. You did say. Poughkeepsie. right. Go ahead. yeah Yeah. It was. It was me and her battling to like get the manager position.
00:32:37
Speaker
At ShopRite. At ShopRite. And she's like genuinely retarded. Shout out to her. And she got it and then proceeded to like, you know, shit down the drain.
00:32:52
Speaker
And somehow she still has the job. What does that mean? Shit down the drain? do a bad job? Yeah. Is shit down the drain a saying? It is
00:33:02
Speaker
She proceeded to sit down the drain. it is now. All right. And she proceeded to sit down and she's like, hi, Gerald. I'm like, oh, no. Fuck.
00:33:12
Speaker
I don't like you. Yeah. So I immediately text Mark. And I was like, Mark. Fuck you, Mark. Yeah, fuck you, Mark. Because Mark works at that same location.
00:33:24
Speaker
Shout out Mark. Shout out Mark. And I was like, Mark, guess who's here? He's Mark. Listen.
00:33:30
Speaker
He says that him and Autumn ah not catch it when they can because now like Mark works like a different like schedule. Because you' got like he's in the meat room now.
00:33:42
Speaker
a yop a he's packs He literally packs meat. yeah i'm saying Yeah, he packs some meat. ah So he says he catches it when he can.
00:33:53
Speaker
Well, we we need them both on ah listening on their devices so we get more views. Just put it on. Don't sharing. Don't be sharing one device. alright yeah Just put it on and then like mute one and keep, you know.
00:34:06
Speaker
Exactly. Yeah. So I wasn't happy because she sat next to me with her fucking like 80 year old grandma. Like, yeah, what a great movie to bring your grandma to. Don't bring your grandma to this. Literally throughout the entire movie, she was like, ew.
00:34:17
Speaker
ah And I'm like, you should watch Terrifier. Be like, anyway, aren't you dead yet? The fuck? Drop dead, bitch. Fuck. You old gag. So she recognized you.
00:34:28
Speaker
And then like, was she trying to talk to you or no? Luckily not. Luckily not. Yes. But I was like getting comfortable, you know, like stretching my legs. And then she like so scooted over a little more in her seat, like away from me. im like, yeah, good.
00:34:42
Speaker
I'm only in this seat because that fucking seat doesn't work. We can bleep this, but would you pipe her down? Fuck no. Okay. so She's ugly as shit. He ain't fucking it. That's see also your words. He's fucking it.
00:34:54
Speaker
and Your ain't fucking it. All right. If you're listening, bitch. Fuck you. new What's her first name? Kate. Fuck you, Kate. Dumb skank. All right. hey, yo. That's like when I called my cousin the slut. That was crazy. Yeah, it's fine because you know her and she thought it was funny.
00:35:10
Speaker
She did think it was funny. And she did respond with an email calling herself the slut. Right. so that's fine. So she's a self-proclaimed slut. Shout to you. We know you're not a slut. Hey, yo. All right.
00:35:21
Speaker
Um. right. My theater was, like I said, Elmo has like three rows in the front, a gap, and there was like the back section. The back was completely
Marketing Criticism and Genre Debates
00:35:32
Speaker
booked.
00:35:32
Speaker
The front, there was like nobody. So I had a front row seat. um launch I want to try to kind of talk about this movie in order a little bit. But. I just want to say Neon again. And if you guys think that substance got the wrath from me, this movie, I think, is is more of a fucking culprit.
00:35:51
Speaker
They're more guilty than anybody else. they're worse This is worse than the substance as a movie and as far as the marketing is concerned. Because they – I took some screenshots of ah like their marketing just to keep it – ah So I'd remember to talk about it on this podcast.
00:36:08
Speaker
Guys, we're going to spoil the fuck out of this movie. Neon is like, I thought neon was like kind of kind of popping, you know? Yeah. But they're shitting down the bat. They're shitting down the drain.
00:36:21
Speaker
They're shitting down the drain. yeah that's our new. You were saying shitting down the bat. Shitting down the bat. Because they played a lot of neon trailers at the beginning. And I'm like, oh, I'm interested. I'm interested.
00:36:32
Speaker
So Neon posted, first of all, they had this campaign where they would show people the band Traley couldn't put on TV. And they'd like, oh, or whatever.
00:36:44
Speaker
They also posted this thing here. It says, it's a movie about twin brothers who discover a toy monkey likes killing their family. There is outrageous violence, shocking gore, and unspeakable tragedies.
00:36:58
Speaker
Is that what we're calling this fucking boar festival movie? Wow.
00:37:04
Speaker
Wow. It also is produced by James Wan, which I express concern about an episode. Well, James Wan's career, Loki, been going down the shitter for a minute now. He's shitting down the drain.
00:37:15
Speaker
He's cooked. He's a bat, dude. Yeah, dude. Fucking he's shitting on my shaft. That's what's happening. And um'm where we're saying all this to to say, at least I am, that the gore in this movie looks horrible.
00:37:29
Speaker
or Some of the worst CGI gore I've ever seen in my life. Terrible. and it And it starts from the beginning. Yeah. the The kill with the arrow through the guts and then it retracts and like pulls that guy's intestines out.
00:37:44
Speaker
Because that kill looked kind of good. It looked all right. It looked fine. It looked like MCU gore. Yeah. It looked like Deadpool gore.
00:37:54
Speaker
Yeah, it did. Deadpool gore ain't great either. It's not great, but like... It's not supposed to be. No, it kind of goes with like the whole campy aspect. Right. This movie's... I thought this movie was going to be played like serious...
00:38:08
Speaker
So that's what I'm wondering. Do you think this is supposed to be a comedy? I'm wondering if this genuinely supposed to be a dark comedy, man. I don't know. The amount of one liners that they try to throw around, as like jokes and people granted people in my fear ate it up.
00:38:25
Speaker
I didn't, we both didn't find the jokes funny. I think I found like one joke funny, but I don't remember what it was. ah People were eating up the the one-liners.
00:38:36
Speaker
When the mom was like, sitting when they're sitting in the graveyard and the mom's just talking about like death. That's kind funny. But.
00:38:45
Speaker
Yeah, I guess if you if you don't find the comedy funny and then you kind of like gore, like actual gore, you're not going to like this. This is this is really bad. Like rough.
00:38:58
Speaker
Yeah. And I'm happy that people are not shitting on this movie just because of that. Because movie has a lot of problems. lot of a lot a lot of lot of problems. problems. that ah Thankfully, the gore is not the main part. But I do think the marketing for this, again, is like it has to be the something ever.
00:39:15
Speaker
Ever made. Ever put on the screen. and it's like it's just They did that with the substance, and they did that with this movie. And this movie, I think... yeah there They also did it with long legs saying it was like scariest movie you've ever seen.
00:39:28
Speaker
Which it's not. It's not. It's good movie. It's a good movie, though. That movie was done well. And the gore in that movie looks so much better. Right. I don't get it. As far as the plot is concerned, I think it was fine. Rush? Yeah.
00:39:45
Speaker
I enjoyed it more when they were kids. Yeah. Yes. Versus when they were
Plot and Character Critiques
00:39:51
Speaker
adults. I think the adult timeline was not very interesting. No.
00:39:56
Speaker
The only thing I didn't like about the child timeline was the... I didn't really get the vibe of like the brother's relationship. like Because the reveal at the end of the brother is the one like trying to kill his other brother.
00:40:10
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. like It's just like young kids bickering, but it's not really over anything substantial to make you think like, oh this kid is unhinged. He wants to murder his brother.
00:40:22
Speaker
So it kind of falls into... I've never read the short story by Stephen King, I'll be honest. Shout out Stephen King. Shout of Stephen King. Which I think is the reason this movie's bad.
00:40:32
Speaker
Anyway, um he has a very... direct way of like building his characters. Cause most of his movies are based around kids.
00:40:43
Speaker
um don't know if you've ever noticed that, but yeah i'm not calling him your pedophile relax you're right but he has a very stereotypical like way of like making a character feel weak like he just like the stereotypical bullying right it's in like all of his movies all of his books the bullying in this was really bad really bad like not even like bad like it was mean like bad like i didn't fucking care about it and i didn't find it realistic No, because how are you going to throw fucking bananas at somebody and then like they're just going to covered in bananas?
00:41:19
Speaker
they're not Are they peeling the bananas to throw at you? Also, how is this kid... i guess it's not Bill. It's the other How is he going to walk out and yeah how is he goingnna walk into a locker room and it's just a bunch of girls?
00:41:34
Speaker
And how are they going steal his pants and then he just goes throughout the rest of his day wearing boxers? Bro, girls taking my pants off. I'm hard. If happened to me, like, we're having a fucking six-way. Yeah.
00:41:45
Speaker
An orgy. Down. shall we Down in the DMs. Should we tell a story when I lost, when someone took my shoe at school? Do you remember this? Vaguely. Ninth grade. little more Nick lore.
00:41:56
Speaker
Why not, right? Sure. It's a funny story. It is. um Ninth grade. Shut up. Cut that name. Cut that. Cut Are we really shouting him out?
00:42:07
Speaker
No. Fuck him. He got a dirty dick for sure. Yeah. um Ninth grade. I'm pretty sure he's one who did it. I'm just saying. believe it. Ninth grade, I did not have the sneaker collection that i we both now have.
00:42:21
Speaker
I had like one pair of shoes I wore every single day. To everything. And Zach, shout out Zach, drew a dick on them. Classic Zach move. Classic Zach.
00:42:34
Speaker
Oh, whoops. whoa The bottom had like the white. Why am I picking my flip shirt on this?
00:42:41
Speaker
But the bottom, the bottom was white. Yeah. And he drew a dick on it in gym class. Shout out Mrs. Peluso. Yeah, shout her out. That was not high school. But anyways, um you know what my calendar for some reason it's a mark on her birthday is. Isn't that weird?
00:42:55
Speaker
You're a very fucking odd kid. I think it's actually coming up. It's kind of concerning. You were like low-key obsessed with her. i'm nice I was. I actually was. ah yeah Tyler's birthday is coming up. Shout out Tyler.
00:43:08
Speaker
Shout out Tyler. It's March 6th. Yes, sir. Anyways, we go to gym class and i we have to change in the locker room. And I took my shoes off to change or whatever. And I i moved because it whatever happened, they were not in my eye line.
00:43:24
Speaker
It was kind of like when that kid gets... when Newman's supposed to watch the binder and whiplash, and he turns around and it's gone? Kind of like that. It's kind of like that, but whoever did this, whatever piece of shit, maybe with... A lot of names gotta bleep at this episode. Fuck him.
00:43:39
Speaker
That bad guy. Maybe we gotta bleep all these names. I don't know. Wow, are we taking it out on these high school kids? All right. yeah I turn around, and some piece of shit took one shoe.
00:43:52
Speaker
not just Probably just a meme you, I'm assuming, right? But there was nobody left in the locker room, and I was like, where's my shoe? So I walked to my next class, Earth Science. ah Shout out to Ms. Damar. You're fucking annoying. yeah Whoa, I had her for ah marine biology.
00:44:10
Speaker
She always sounded mad nasally. She did. She was a ginger, though, right? She was. um She would not get it. That's a fucking... No. I liked her. He ain't fucking as like a teacher.
00:44:22
Speaker
Well, maybe I just like the class. but I was not a fan because I walked in and I told her that somebody took my shoe and she didn't believe me. She literally was like, she's like, stop fucking around. And I was like, I'm telling you, somebody stole my shoe.
00:44:35
Speaker
and Like, you weren't like a bad kid. So I don't know why she just... No, I was a quiet kid. I don't... Whoa, pause. Uh-oh. so But...
00:44:47
Speaker
So the next day i had to go to the principal's or I think it was that day. I went to the principal's office. Shout out. I'll be honest. Uh, she can get it.
00:44:58
Speaker
I don't care. Yeah. I don't give a fuck. She can get it. Did Mr. Tim scare you? Cause was bald. You know, like bit man i that's probably why I don't watch bald men porn, but now I do. It's been long enough.
00:45:09
Speaker
Yeah. Do we've been graduated almost 10 years? Think about that. Are we going to have 10 year anniversary? Is that a thing? High school reunion? Yeah. And Jake wants to go if we're going. I'm only going if you're going.
00:45:20
Speaker
I'll go. I'll go, I guess. I kind of want to see what he's doing. I'll be honest. We can cut this. I just, want to know what he's doing. Probably still nothing. Right. Right. And she gave me an extra pair of shoes, like a lost and found.
00:45:34
Speaker
Oh, that were, that were way too tight. It didn't fit. And then the next day ah they were like, oh, we have to, like we're going to like go look tomorrow for whatever reason. I think a home was like, not the right shoes. ah And the next day we came in and I went with Mr. Tim.
00:45:50
Speaker
And dude, it was like somebody fucking, it was like a setup. Like somebody knew it was happening. I must have told one of my friends what was going to happen. We walk in and the shoe is just sitting on the bench. That's fucking weird.
00:46:01
Speaker
Some, like so it was an inside job, like nine 11, somebody, somebody knew. and that's the, I lost my shoe story. Why were we talking about this?
00:46:12
Speaker
can't remember. I don't know either. Can't remember. Oh, the locker room. The bullying in the locker room. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. so you taking one shoe is real Taking somebody's one shoe and then nobody believes that you got fucking punked. That's real bullying.
00:46:25
Speaker
I mean, hey That's true. ah Someone also, Jim, shout out, I'm not going say that, shout to the high school we went to, but they definitely had stealing yeah they definitely had a stealing problem. because someone ah problem yeah ratsel Someone stole my graphing calculator.
00:46:46
Speaker
That's worth that money, though. That fucking pissed me off, dude. Yeah, that's fucking ob obnoxious. yeah and Do you remember the the the Civil War day we called it? Yeah, I do. We got locked out. I know where I was.
00:46:57
Speaker
i i was inside. You were in? Because that was the time, like, I had the two, the double free period. So I'd have a lunch with you, then lunch with my girlfriend at the time. um And we were sitting in that cafeteria that had, like, the windows facing outwards.
00:47:12
Speaker
And, dude, like, you know how like, the school has that long, straight shot in? And then there's, like, a roundabout or whatever the fuck that was? ah Not a roundabout. There was just fucking cop cars. All the way down.
00:47:24
Speaker
We had a civil war at our school. Blacks versus whites. ah We're not even joking. it Like an actual civil war. Right. Like there was like knives pulled and shit. Like people got stabbed.
00:47:35
Speaker
Dumb shit. Bomb threats. Bomb threats. Like, I hope he's not. Okay. ah
00:47:44
Speaker
ah We're sorry to listen. That has no idea what we're talking about. But to be to be fair, most of our base probably knows exactly what we're talking about. Probably. Yeah. Had the mercury spill on LMS. That was fucking crazy.
00:47:55
Speaker
No one believes me. Like here. Oh, I believe you. Thank you. You know, I was there. pulled up an article and they're like, oh, like, yeah, fuck you. Like what fucking idiot is doing that?
00:48:06
Speaker
Yeah. Why am I going to be there? We were there all night. fucking horrible terrible they wouldn't piss like yeah nothing the fuck they brought in like the little snacks on like the like the you know i yeah so i was i grabbed the water and a bag of doritos right they said no you can only choose one the fuck you mean i can't have a drink and a fucking snack if i eat these chips my throats are gonna be dry i i chose the chips mean you're gonna lie but yeah dry throat afterwards yeah yeah I was also hanging out with... Can't say her name, never mind.
00:48:38
Speaker
Say it, we'll bleep it.
00:48:41
Speaker
That's fucking Hamhole. No. but he was fucking he was piping her out i wanted to back then who who didn't she got she still got juicy tits i don't even know why can i keep that in or no i don't know if we bleep her if we bleep her name but you still say she has juicy tits will they know who we're talking about no that's fine all right well shout out your juicy tits shout out that one girl with the juicy tits okay know Not anymore.
00:49:13
Speaker
Also, I don't like the tats on them. That is a little specific. Okay. Yeah. The placement and the type that they are are weird. but Weird as fuck. But we're happy for you. Yeah. And you are married to someone who strangely looks like Jake. I will say that.
00:49:29
Speaker
She has a type. She has a type. Want to talk about the monkey again? or Yeah, i was going to say she fell asleep in my bed eating McDonald's with me. Sounds weird. When? You didn't rape her, so good for you.
00:49:42
Speaker
Hey, great. I don't know why I would. You know? well Control. I don't know why you would either. Self-control. I don't know why you'd order chili at Texas Roadhouse, but it's, you know. I've done that many times afterwards, and I've been fine.
00:49:57
Speaker
My boss made chili for staff. It was fucking terrible, dude. Oh my god. It was so gross. god Beans or no beans? ah People that don't put beans in their chili can go fuck themselves. Beans have to go in chili non-negotiable.
00:50:10
Speaker
Let us know what you think. Yeah. Alright, let's get ah back on track. Is there anything positive about the monkey? um I think people will point to the comedy. I didn't like it.
00:50:21
Speaker
didn't like it. It's not for me. So I think Stephen King's the problem. and Stephen King's the problem? Not him directly. Okay. Because his books, stories are so out there, right?
00:50:41
Speaker
Because he's admitted he he did a lot of cocaine while writing all his books, right? They're so fucking out there that they're hard to adapt to the screen.
00:50:54
Speaker
Because name a good Stephen King adaptation that's not it I was gonna say we covered it on this podcast that's not it I'm waiting The Shining fuck Doctor Sleep that movie is divisive okay that movie is divisive but I like Doctor like Ewan McGregor I would let him yeah he could suck me um Pet Sematary not bad I do not like that movie the OG or the remakes
00:51:27
Speaker
Either. Yeah, it doesn't matter. 1922 is a Netflix exclusive. I've been looking for it for a long time. Movie's good. i don't what anybody says. It is good. ah Children of the Corn.
00:51:38
Speaker
The Mist. Come on, bro. Come on, bro. Carrie. Come on, bro. I'm saying like the most recent like adaptations are not good. Shawshank is allegedly Stephen King. Misery.
00:51:51
Speaker
Bro, Misery. Come on. It also is giving him Creepshow. He's in it. He's ah he's an actor. Cujo's bad. I've watched that movie. It's not good. Christine? That's what I'm saying. If you want to say the recent ones are bad, that's fine. i also think They're running out of... like They're doing deep cuts now. you know They're running out of shit.
00:52:13
Speaker
I think this movie could have been good, though. So do I. They just didn't execute. This is the other thing that I think is the issue along the Stephen King line. I think for companies that produce and distribute films, if the Stephen King adaptation tag is attached to it, like, oh, we're doing a Stephen King adaptation and so-and-so is directing it, they're going to be like, yeah, yeah, let's do it.
00:52:38
Speaker
Yeah. i mean? Just because it has a Stephen King adaptation tag next to it. Do you think Osgood wrote the script, though? Do I think Osgood Perkins wrote the script? I do believe he wrote it.
00:52:52
Speaker
A new trip from Osgood Perkins produced by James Wan. So he probably wrote it. I'd imagine. Because I don't know, man. He's a director and he's the writer. Damn.
00:53:04
Speaker
Because I was going to say, like maybe maybe he's he's only good when like he's not adapting people's other work. Well, what was interesting about the Jeff's ah review on Letterboxd was like he took a swing and a miss that he like he was trying something different.
00:53:19
Speaker
So I do wonder if the goal of this movie was supposed to be like be a dark comedy and it just wasn't that funny. He's just not good at comedy. you' also Yeah, because like the moody atmosphere, like obviously he nails every time.
00:53:31
Speaker
Right. The atmosphere, the monkey's creepy. It is. I also want one. Yeah, I do too. I do want one. It's like put on my shelf or something. They're cool looking. They are cool looking. Can we be honest too?
00:53:42
Speaker
This is kind of wild. That monkey was caked up. Yeah, low key. All right, good. I have to give you a good sucking too. Cause like when his lips move, wow. I wouldn't want that. No? Okay. Oh, also his like, you'd have to have a pretty decent sized chode to, uh, yeah, get a good suck off his mouth wide.
00:54:01
Speaker
But it was cool. The monkey itself was cool. Right. the the Even the plot, like the general plot is go boring.
00:54:09
Speaker
Sorry, not the plot. The concept is cool. it's cool But the the actual movie is a when fucking snoozer. When the twist happens, right? what Bro, the the what is it?
00:54:21
Speaker
Bill? Bill. The character is so fucking weird and like not in a good way. Like, I get it. he's but they He's written like a comedy, but maybe if they took it like more so in a serious route.
00:54:37
Speaker
I don't even think that that was much of a twist because figured it out. And I hate to say like figuring something out is like a negative against the movie. but Right. Also, everything's in the trailer.
00:54:50
Speaker
yeah Everything. Everything is in the trailer. I mean, the the kills, like, I think every kill is in the trailer besides maybe the last one. Yeah.
00:55:02
Speaker
The bowling ball one, I think, is not in the trailer. No. Nice Rue Goldberg shit. That was cool. The kills are not even kills that, like, are actually happening in the movie. It's like a flash or a dream.
00:55:17
Speaker
but most A lot of them. Right. That threw me for a loop. And they're all in the trailer. Like, I swear every kill is in trailer. Every single kill. Maybe not the ant. The ant's not in the trailer.
00:55:28
Speaker
Yes, she is. um When she falls on the post. Well, when she's running a flaming head is in the trailer. That is, yeah. But when she actually dies. Doesn't even look good. And they freeze frame it and then cut really quickly. So I don't... I don't get it.
00:55:40
Speaker
Sorry. Doesn't look good. The only one that looked good was the cherry pie one. Do you think they had to pay so much... To get the rights to the Stephen King that like the effects had to suffer.
00:55:51
Speaker
There's no excuse anymore. I'm sorry. There's but no excuse. Can we look that up? Yeah. $10 million. dollars Where'd the budget go?
00:56:01
Speaker
It had to, like I said, it had to be the rights.
00:56:06
Speaker
Terrifier 2's budget was $250K. That's what I'm saying.
00:56:12
Speaker
Terrifier 3's budget was $2 million.
00:56:17
Speaker
This is the thing. And it's like, and it's like, I really like, we need to have a comment. It's doing good in the box office. Of course it is. It's a Stephen King adaptation. yeah It's Osgood Perkins who's writing off the success of long legs.
00:56:29
Speaker
You're right. Which was a bit divisive, but we need to have like a real conversation, but that's because it really fucking pisses me off. Okay. There are people out there in the world, like Damian Leone. Okay. Just as an example.
00:56:43
Speaker
Okay. Who go out of their way and put literally blood, sweat, and tears into their practical effects to make things look real. And people go, it's just senseless gore. I didn't like it.
00:56:56
Speaker
Then you have movies like this, which granted, The Monkey does not have good reviews. I'm not saying this movie is like people are saying it's great because it's not. that just That have a bigger budget and don't put any investment into the gore at all. the the The cheerleaders on the bus kill?
00:57:12
Speaker
What was that? my god, that was horrible. Or or the leg from the lady who dives in the pool? That was horrible. that looked like Final Destination looking. So bad.
00:57:22
Speaker
And it's like, why are we shitting on a director that... I mean, I'm not going to say Osgood Perkins doesn't care. Right. But Damian Leone put in so much more effort and pride in his crew into the practical effect work than this movie did.
00:57:40
Speaker
Has done. And it could been it could have been... the same thing It's the same thing with fucking Hard Eyes. I went and saw Hard Eyes because was bored. How was that? Bad? Mid. I gave it a 2.5. It adds nothing to the horror genre. And the sad thing is it's going to be a sequel every fucking year.
00:57:55
Speaker
CGI blood too? I'm so sick of the CGI blood. Try a little harder. They're giving you so much money. Yeah. Try a little harder. We're not in 2005 anymore.
00:58:07
Speaker
right That's a thing. Like, that's an early 2000s trope because CGI was new, you know? And you get and you get and movies from that era get a pass. Sure. And honestly, they shouldn't because movies like Re-Animator exist.
00:58:20
Speaker
And that's even before. Yeah. They fucking shouldn't get a pass. Right. That's the thing. Like, all the all the slashers, all the everything from like the 90s, 80s. That was all practical shit. There was no CGI back then.
00:58:32
Speaker
And they had like $100,000 budgets. You know? There's really no excuse. If you want to make a horror movie, and I'm talking like horror, like you're marketing it as horror, gory, slasher, horrific things that happen in the movie, maybe start with real practical effects, kid.
00:58:49
Speaker
That's all I'm saying. so At least the substance had some practical effect work. This movie had no practical effect work besides a sleeping bag full of fucking cherry pie. Right. the The majority of the...
00:59:00
Speaker
um Substance was practical and it looked good. I but don't have to rehash that conversation right now, but I do think like the cutting open the back, but did not look good at all.
00:59:13
Speaker
Yeah. And the end when she like morphs, that looks, it looks good. I just wasn't a fan of it. Right. Either way, that's a different story for a different day, but I don't think it's Osgood Perkins fault.
00:59:27
Speaker
I do. You do? Sorry. He's putting his name all over this. That's true. I'm just thinking maybe there was like... We don't know. There might have been studio interference.
00:59:39
Speaker
but We don't know the... like the It's Neon. Yeah. Yeah. they're like an i mean, I would hate to... i don't want to be naive, but I'd hate to think Neon is like, no, you can't do this. Sure.
00:59:51
Speaker
Maybe like, I don't know, but ah not budget restraints, but like time restraints. Maybe they had to get it out. I don't know. I know I'm not. You're right. No, you know, you're just being the messenger. and You're right.
01:00:02
Speaker
You're right. I'm just, it just annoys me, you know? and Yeah. Because Damian and Leone can churn out terrifier films that have better gore in a year's time. What is the bucket of blood price going up that we don't know about it?
01:00:16
Speaker
Maybe. Who knows? But their people are doing it is my point. The CGI can't be cheap either. It's cheaper. Yes. But you got to pay people to do this shit. Right.
01:00:28
Speaker
Pay the right people. I just, I feel like, like, because he already has started, I feel like people should consult Damien Leone's crew to do practical effect work. Yeah, get them, make them. get fucking Tom Savini back in here.
01:00:41
Speaker
He's old as shit, though. I know, but like, just like, hey, Tom, can we bounce some ideas off you? He's got like a ah special effects school. Hire people from there. Who has that?
01:00:52
Speaker
Tom Savini. Tom? That's fucking dope. i didn't know that. Yep. Just hire people that know what they're doing. So visually it's uninspired. And then you get to the plot, which is just so boring.
01:01:06
Speaker
I just don't, I just didn't care. not even that the plot's bad. It's just like, just don't give a fuck because they don't really establish. They try to establish the brotherly relationship, but don't really do a good job doing it.
01:01:19
Speaker
And then just cut to them being adults. And it's like, I know you killed mom. Who fucking cares? And then like, he's, he's hiding out with the monkey. Like he's a super villain. Like what? Yeah. what the fuck is that? What are we doing? like It's like, I know you killed my mom.
01:01:32
Speaker
Like, and then he's like, it's my mom too. And he's like, Oh yeah. I never thought about it like that. Are you fucking fucking serious? Oh my God. He's like, Oh yeah, you are my twin. Shit. Like I'm trying to see this through like a dark comedy. Yeah.
01:01:48
Speaker
Final Destination type lens. Which Final Destination Bloodlines looks fucking great. Well, yeah. Because Final Destination. No, but like... a lot of them are bad.
01:02:00
Speaker
Let's be honest. They are, but... I mean, are you going to those for... You're going for the kills. Yeah, but some of the kills I'm saying look bad too. I mean, like... I mean, practical effect work. Like that The one where guy gets sliced in half.
01:02:13
Speaker
Remember that one? I forget which movie that's in, but it's like piano wire and you like fall apart in pieces. That, yeah. That's rough. Yeah. Right. You know what mean? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? but what I, but like, what I mean is like bloodlines looks like it, like the, the, the teaser trailer is just one kill of a guy in a tattoo parlor. It looks great.
01:02:32
Speaker
heres what i'm trying to say. Even if it's CGI practical effect work, who cares? I'm just saying it looks good. If your cgi looks good, I don't care.
Disappointment in Recent Films
01:02:39
Speaker
Yes. That's where I'm at. Exactly. You know, exactly. Yeah. It's exactly where I'm at.
01:02:44
Speaker
um I don't know what to say for good because I just did not have a good time with this movie. And it's just boring schlop. It's just schlop that I feel like would go straight to streaming.
01:02:57
Speaker
The coolest thing was the monkey because I kind of want one now. They got to be selling it. ah I'm sure. Also, ah fun fact, in the short story, right? it's the It's the symbol monkey.
01:03:11
Speaker
Yeah. But I read an interview. Yeah. Disney owns the rights to that because the toy story. They like, yeah, they like a copy wrote the the monkey with the symbols. So they had to change it to a drum.
01:03:23
Speaker
Drums cool. I like, I don't mind the drum. Yeah. Yeah. I don't, I don't hate it. ah What do you, what do you think you're, you have more to say? No, I was going to ask you what your star rating is.
01:03:36
Speaker
So the star rating might seem high, But I didn't leave the theater being... I'm not like aggressively mad at this film. it doesn't make me angry.
01:03:46
Speaker
I'm not mad I went and saw it. Right. So like the one and a half, one star territory for me are movies that like really piss me off. Like Joker, Folia Dew.
01:03:57
Speaker
absolutely like That movie really pisses me off. yeah ah This movie, I'm like, yeah, it's just more schlop. like it's just This is what it's going to be now. like I had just seen Hard Eyes the week before. I was just like, yep, this is like what we're going to get now.
01:04:10
Speaker
Unless we get... I'm at a two. It's bad and it's boring, um but I don't think it's like offensively bad. um I feel like we always have like the same ratings.
01:04:25
Speaker
Do you? Yeah. Okay. But I'm also giving this a 2. ah I am not going to be buying this. Unless the steelbook's fucking fire.
01:04:36
Speaker
If it is, but also, like, it has to, like, be gorgeous. Like, blow me away gorgeous. It can't be, like, some mid-looking... Well, the monkey's gonna be on it.
01:04:46
Speaker
But what are they gonna do with that? You know I mean Yeah. Like, put a steel on it. If it's like the, uh... If it's like this, I'm... No, I'm not gonna buy that. No. Skip.
01:04:59
Speaker
Skip. I will say now on record that I am on record actually saying that I had hope for this movie.
Casting and Character Portrayals in MCU
01:05:07
Speaker
Yeah, you are. The tonal difference between the trailers and what we got is like, wow. I mean, it's it's like a completely different movie.
01:05:16
Speaker
um We'll get into it, but we'll do the test. Who is this director, dude? Julius Ona, who directed The Cloverfield Paradox, which is not a good movie. I mean, that is a fucking... That's the third one, right?
01:05:28
Speaker
Yeah, I haven't seen it, but it's really bad.
01:05:34
Speaker
Here's your cast. Anthony Mackie reprises his role as Sam Wilson slash Captain America. And he does great. Yeah, Anthony Mackie was done dirty. ah Harrison Ford plays ah now President Thaddeus Ross.
01:05:50
Speaker
If you don't know who those two are, I mean, yeah sorry. The recasting is fine. I feel like Harrison did good. I didn't hate his performance. Oh, from the incredible Hulk.
01:06:01
Speaker
Yeah. Wasn't it Sam Wilson? Sam Wilson. What's his name? and Sam Elliott. No.
01:06:11
Speaker
Yeah, it was. Oh, he was an Ang Lee's Hulk. Yeah. He's I'm sorry. Yeah. The MCU Hulk was. ah the fuck does a Sam Wilson? Because it's the guy's name in this movie. Danny Ramirez plays Joaquin Torres.
01:06:24
Speaker
ah He's in Top Gun Maverick. this And I guess he's in the Falcon and the Winter Soldier show. Does his character have a like a name? Is he like the new Falcon? I think he's just the new Falcon, yeah. Oh, okay.
01:06:36
Speaker
Oh, whoa. Whoa. We have Shira Haas who plays Ruth Bat-Sara. I don't know what her name is. All you need to know is she's a widow.
01:06:46
Speaker
I think she's a skip, but in this picture, she's kind of hot. i was going back and forth i'm like you're no so yeah I was going back and forth. I'm like, you're no Scarlett Johansson, but you're probably cheating. We'll give it to her.
01:07:01
Speaker
ah Tim Blake Nelson plays Samuel Stearns. We'll talk about it. I think this is one of the biggest miscastings I've ever seen. Miscastings? He's coming back.
01:07:13
Speaker
I know. um Yeah, I don't. Oh, you think they should have recasted? Yeah, I think this is a really bad decision on their part. um Carl Lumbly plays Isaiah Bradley. He's in Dr. Sleep.
01:07:27
Speaker
He's in Escape from Alcatraz. Oh, Dr. Sleep, is he the... He's probably in the flashbacks as the... As the dude. that's a dude Yeah, he probably got recast. um Giancarlo Esposito plays Sidewinder.
01:07:42
Speaker
ah He's a pretty well-known actor. He's in everything. he I like him. Yeah, he's a good actor. i just think he has no sauce in this movie. He plays pretty much the same character in every movie, though. so More or less.
01:07:54
Speaker
We have Liv Tyler coming back. for long this shouldn't be This is a cameo. Yeah, this is a cameo, but it was cool to see her come back even though I can't fucking stand her.
01:08:05
Speaker
She can fucking get it, dog. I'm sorry. i hate her face. Oh, you do? nice her It looks so Botoxed. And like, I like her performance in this better than the Hulk.
01:08:17
Speaker
Because she's barely in this. I just hate her because she's in the Incredible Hulk. She just walks in she's like, Bruce? Talk about bad CGI in that movie. Well, yeah.
01:08:29
Speaker
yeah They were early in. Early on. Oh, and Sebastian Stan makes an appearance as Bucky Barnes.
Fatigue with MCU and CGI Critiques
01:08:36
Speaker
The better cameo. I did not. I did not care for his cameo at all.
01:08:41
Speaker
But was there another cameo? No. Oh, Liv Tyler, you're saying? Yeah. I think they were both bad. I think that. um I mean, Bucky's only in this too.
01:08:52
Speaker
didn't like under bolts, right? He was like, I guess, but I don't think Anthony Mackie's going in that. No, but I mean like, oh, Bucky's still around. Yeah. I mean, basically his cameo was like, oh, you're going through some shit. You'll be all right. going to leave and not help you.
01:09:05
Speaker
Yeah. I work for the government now. Yeah. I'm not a superhero anymore. Now, the other thing, too, is I have not watched ah any of the shows that they put out. did you watch but out I started Falcon and Winter Soldier, but it was it was like a comedy. And I'm just like I'm not I'm no no, I'm good.
01:09:24
Speaker
good over there. because A little tongue-tied. Yeah. I think that you probably need that information to round out some of the stuff that's been going on in the MCU because as you and I said on some episode, we're kind of MCU'd out. This is the first MCU movie we're covering.
01:09:39
Speaker
I don't remember the last one I saw. because i didn't i didn't theaters? Yeah, i didn't I think it's probably Spider-Man. It was Spider-Man. I don't remember what came out first, Eternals or Spider-Man, but it's one of those.
01:09:53
Speaker
Because I didn't see um Guardians 3. Guardians 3 I saw on Disney Plus. Yeah, I didn't see that in person.
01:10:01
Speaker
Yeah, I've been pretty MC. Have you watched? But you watched it, right? Guardians 3? Or you haven't seen it still? No, I haven't seen it still. But I heard it's good. It's good. it is It's a good film. It's James Gunn. So, I mean, it's not bad. i so My favorite is still the first one.
01:10:15
Speaker
I love the first one. I think it's great. like I didn't see Shang-Chi. I've seen Shang-Chi not in theaters. Have not seen that. What other movies did they come out with? he turned off You said Doctor Strange.
01:10:25
Speaker
Didn't see that. The Sam Raimi John. That's not good. You see that Sam Raimi trailer called like lock with yeah he's locked uh, I was going to ask you about that. Are we going to review that?
01:10:36
Speaker
Kind of want to. I, yeah, i think we should. I mean, it looks there's only two people, Bill Skarsgård and Anthony Hopkins. You can't go wrong, right? Well, hopefully there's another movie coming out that week that we can do a double one. Cause I don't know how long we can talk about a guy locked a car for.
01:10:49
Speaker
It's true.
01:10:52
Speaker
That's valid. Uh, This movie, not to complain about CGI again, this movie, my biggest beef, it looks horrible. I mean, it when you told me that the CGI looked bad before I went and saw it, I was like really expect, I didn't personally didn't have a problem with it.
01:11:13
Speaker
Wow. I'm kind of and shocked to hear that. and I'm serious. um I personally didn't have a problem with the CGI because when I go to see a Marvel movie, right? I'm mix expecting it. I'm expecting everything to be behind a green screen, blue screen. I guess they use nowadays.
01:11:30
Speaker
Uh, I expected Hulk to not look good because Hulk never looks good. I think he looked fine. Um, did you not like the Mark Ruffalo Hulk either?
01:11:42
Speaker
Like the way he looked? Wasn't a fan? I mean, it got Smart Hulk is a fucking ugh. Yeah, we don't talk about Smart Hulk. But like like, compared to like Avengers to like Thor Ragnarok, I feel like the jump was good.
01:11:53
Speaker
You know? Sure. Yeah, I agree with that. um But it's hard to do a big fucking blob of red or green and make it look kind of good, you know? I didn't hate the way he looked.
01:12:06
Speaker
The big criticism I see online
Captain America Movie Plot Discussion
01:12:08
Speaker
is that he's not even in the movie, really. He's not. I didn't really have a problem with that. I don't know how you would incorporate him as Red Hulk more than they did with the storyline.
01:12:18
Speaker
I'm not going to lie. See, I like that fight scene that he had with Captain America, and that was his name. Yeah. Sam. I like that fight scene. I just think it's taken away by the extreme use of CGI.
01:12:33
Speaker
I guess you have to with this kind of movie, it doesn't look good. I mean, i'm all right. Would you say it doesn't look good? It's not bad, but it's not good. It doesn't look good. um yeah Name a movie. Name a, like, I guess, I don't know. Avengers had some pretty good CGI with the aliens and shit.
01:12:48
Speaker
but Guardians? Guardians has good CGI. Guardians looks good. I mean, and Iron Man 1? Yeah, you're right. yeah you're right They can do it.
01:13:00
Speaker
Like I said, they can do it. They have the fucking budget. like Oh, yeah I mean, even got the money, even Endgame and Infinity War look good. Right. It's not that long ago. Spider-Man movies look good.
01:13:12
Speaker
What are they doing? I don't know. Have they given up? I think they're taking the lazy route of we put an MCU movie out. It's going to make money in the box office and we don't try that hard.
01:13:23
Speaker
But I think some fans are getting sick of it.
01:13:27
Speaker
The plot line so So Samuel Stearns has been in ah in several of the Coen Brothers movies, which are somewhat comedies.
01:13:38
Speaker
Like, oh, brother, where art thou is a comedy. He's a comedy actor. Yeah. ah The Ballad of Buster Scruggs is definitely a comedy. And while those movies are not for me, I don't think you can put him. I know he was in The Incredible Hulk.
01:13:53
Speaker
I don't like him cast in this role. i don't think he plays his role very well. And I don't think he looks very good. Was his makeup CGI or do you think it was practical? CGI is because it look fucking horrible. That looks horrible. I will say that.
01:14:05
Speaker
Wow. And what is the leader, right? Marvel. I think so. I mean, we went, we went from, from this To what he looked like.
01:14:17
Speaker
Yeah, fucking horrible. And I'm but like, you know, and maybe the fans don't know, but I'm a huge Hulk. Hulk was my dude. Right. Like my favorite superhero character out of all of them. I had a lot of like the whole comic books, some of the animated movies they put out.
01:14:30
Speaker
I had Planet Hulk, all that shit. I had Action figures. You had it all. found a i found an action I found a Hulk action figure in ShopRite when I was a little kid. theyre like Remember they had like the cars in front of the car that you could just sit in?
01:14:42
Speaker
Yeah. It was dope. I found a Hulk in that. You kept it? Yeah. W. Yeah. W. Fuck him. anyway Yeah, fuck him. Anyways, I think that he... And I expected him to be that villain, but he looked...
01:14:58
Speaker
terrible. Not even close to like what it would. The one thing I can think of is they were trying to do a real life adaptation. Like what if this guy actually existed in real life, but they don't have, you're literally in a universe of
Future of MCU and Political Themes
01:15:11
Speaker
superheroes. You don't have to look real. wonder, I wonder if they did that because they got so much backlash with Mo doc from the Ant-Man quantum mania movie.
01:15:20
Speaker
I heard he looked terrible. I haven't seen that movie. Yeah. I haven't seen that either. i don't know. Cause Ant-Man and wasp was mid. Yeah, i remember liking and then I was like, it's pretty mid. Even Black Panther I didn't like. yeah black of Black Panther won and not liked the movie. It's kind of hot.
01:15:35
Speaker
i I forgot what liked it first time, and then I saw in theaters again, and I liked it the second time. What did I give Black Panther? think I it a three.
01:15:46
Speaker
Okay, i shouldn't say I didn't like It's probably a three. I gave it a three and a half. this Actually, i wrote in my review that the CGI fight scene at the end really took me out of it. I enjoyed it. But we're here to talk about Captain America or the new Captain America.
01:16:02
Speaker
Also, the as far as the plot's concerned, the immediate turn of ah when Harrison Ford is like, I want you to make the Avengers.
01:16:13
Speaker
And then like homeboy, whatever the fuck his name is, the guy that gets put in jail, he freaks out. And Harrison Ford's like, you're done. It didn't make any sense. well But then I was thinking, is the leader like controlling him remotely?
01:16:30
Speaker
And that's why he acted the way he did. Maybe.
01:16:35
Speaker
I don't know. it just like The story wasn't was very compelling. I didn't see the Eternals, right? yeah Yeah, so that part you kind of need to know about. I mean, i got the general gist.
01:16:48
Speaker
Yeah. um But...
01:16:53
Speaker
Did they mention adamantium in the Eternals? I don't. I mean, I haven't seen where Eternals came out, but I don't think so. So are they just throwing that in now because Wolverine's in the MCU?
01:17:05
Speaker
Yeah, they have X-Men. Probably, yes. Yeah? Yeah, I mean, they're probably going to go somewhere with that. I don't know. i mean, I'm terrified to see what they'll do with X-Men. i I'm so scared because MCU is come and gone.
01:17:21
Speaker
Right, that's scary. Peak MCU, would argue, even certain movies have not aged well. And now I'm worried about Fantastic Four, because I was hype. I've been worried about Fantastic Four, bro. i was do you think i'm only I think I'm only hype because I like Pedro Pascal so much.
01:17:36
Speaker
think that's what it is.
01:17:39
Speaker
the casting are The castings are fine. I have no issue with the castings. The thing needs to lose the... unibrow thing. The weird head is going to shaped like mushroom head.
01:17:50
Speaker
Yeah, what is that? Fucking mushroom head. I don't want the thing's mushroom tip. Nope. Imagine his rock cock in you. That's crazy. Not only is it going to stretch you the fuck out, but you're going to get like... Bleeding? Yeah.
01:18:02
Speaker
Hemorrhaging? Lacerations? It's like getting fucked by stalactite.
01:18:12
Speaker
Dude, the thing's cock? It would probably wreck you. Yeah. It would destroy, lacerated labia. Yeah, more than, I'd rather get fucked by Hulk. I'd rather get fucked by the monkey.
01:18:26
Speaker
The Hulk is crazy. What if he, I mean, this, I've always thought this. I mean, he has fucked in the comic. Sure, but if he gets mad while inside you, you might get ripped apart. Yeah, it also, is his splooge green or white?
01:18:40
Speaker
Or like a light green, you think? It's got a hint of green. because Well, when Bruce comes, it's probably still a hint of green, right? cause the Must be. yeah Because they make... Right? They make fuckable... It passes down because She-Hulk is like a... right I don't know.
01:18:57
Speaker
um' I'm really MCU like checked out. I almost died going home. Fucking snowstorm in Boston. My car was like falling down a hill. So like terrifying. It was bad. You saw this and then you almost died.
01:19:08
Speaker
It was just like such a fucking snooze fest. It was just so, I mean, I said the plot is essentially that, that this dude, uh, Samuel Stearns is getting back at Harrison Ford's character.
01:19:20
Speaker
and he's trying to call like cause like world war three with the Japanese. Which talk about a political fu yeah which talk about a fucking political movie. That's crazy. Or the Chinese. Whatever it is. No, it's Japanese. I'm like, yo, what are we doing?
01:19:34
Speaker
Wild, wild shit. like um I thought we've accepted it. Because, you know, we did them way more dirty than they did us.
01:19:46
Speaker
Valid?
01:19:50
Speaker
I mean, like, the only, like, Anthony Mackie's good in his role. I don't like, I didn't like the new Falcon guy's forced humor. I didn't find that funny. I think people enjoy it. It wasn't for me. And, like, they're cursing way too much now.
01:20:02
Speaker
Every other word, it's shit. Oh, shit. And it's like, and then look up and be like, see what I did there? What the fuck? I cursed. Like, I didn't watch Guardians 3, but i I saw the clip that Starlord dropped the F-bomb.
01:20:18
Speaker
Yeah. But like, like it's
01:20:31
Speaker
Oh, fuck. Also, can we get over the whole Steve Rogers thing? Can we just put that in the past? Because is that Sam's whole plot? I'll never be Steve.
01:20:42
Speaker
No, that's see, that is actually interesting. Is that if people were telling me you'll never be Steve Rogers and like he was like having an internal conflict of like trying to live up to Steve Rogers.
01:20:53
Speaker
That's interesting. But they don't flush that at all. You just get that one clip that's in the trailer of you'll never be Steve Rogers.
01:21:01
Speaker
I actually find that interesting. i don't think that they delve into that at all. Yeah, they need to delve into that more. They didn't. yeah I was. Yeah, it just bland.
01:21:12
Speaker
When the
Character Depth and Casting Decisions
01:21:13
Speaker
next Avengers comes out. Yeah. Who do we have? We got Robert Downey Jr. as Dr. Doom. Yeah, but I meant like Avengers.
01:21:24
Speaker
Well, I think the Thunderbolts are going to probably... Avengers now? Probably. It's going to be a mix of them, the Eternals, and Anthony Mackie.
01:21:35
Speaker
And who else do we have that's random? Spider-Man, right? Spider-Man, Clint. Who gives a fuck? Clint? Yeah. Shout out to Jeremy Renner. I'm happy that you survived that fucking accident. That was you that that was fucked up.
01:21:48
Speaker
That was nasty. Yeah. ah Ant-Man. Yeah. I didn't see Guardians 3, so I don't know the ending of that. but They are split up. Okay. um Is Deadpool going to be in it?
01:22:04
Speaker
Who knows? Who knows? I'm so marveled out, I have no idea. Is going to be in it? I actually don't know.
01:22:12
Speaker
If they cast one.
01:22:16
Speaker
Know I mean? They cast somebody to do it. I think they can Hugh back. I think they can do it now. Not for Avengers. Come on, man. Don't do me like that. I think they can do it now. david I'm not saying I want it. I'm saying they could.
01:22:27
Speaker
You're right. They could. i don't want that. Where's the X-Men movie? In production. Or they're casting for it. It's probably not production because no one's heard about it. That's going to be bad.
01:22:38
Speaker
By the way, this is the world we're living in. Martin Scorsese, do you know do you hear this news? He casted The Rock to be the main lead in his new movie. This is where we're at.
01:22:51
Speaker
Are you telling me that Martin Scorsese actually thinks The Rock's a good actor? Oh, he does. That's rough. i mean what Who are we to challenge Martin Scorsese? But you're a little old there, bod.
01:23:03
Speaker
yeah Whatever your budget was, that just raised it because he's like the highest paid actor in Hollywood. Don't you think that The Rock would take a pay cut to be the main lead in a Martin Scorsese film?
01:23:17
Speaker
The Rock is all about money. He came back to wrestling for money. The Rock is big time, but Martin Scorsese is fucking huge. this is not This isn't fucking just some guy.
01:23:27
Speaker
This isn't Osgood Perkins. You know what mean? This is fucking Martin Scorsese. You to hear hot take? Say it. John Cena is a better actor than The Rock. That's not a hot take. I agree with that 100%.
01:23:38
Speaker
That's not a hot take. That's cold as Batista is a better fucking actor than The Rock. Probably. You're probably right. And Batista is not even that good of an actor.
01:23:49
Speaker
He's good at tracks, but... he was good He was good in... What called? Knock at the Cabin? Knock at the Cabin. How about the Cabin in the Woods? No, that's a good movie. Wrong fucking movie. Which, by the way, was kind of funny. I thought they were going to go full cabin in the woods in the monkey when he hits the drum so many times, like planes start crashing and shit. i'm like, oh, you gonna go full cabin in the woods, like commit.
01:24:10
Speaker
And they don't. No, they don't. They should have. They should have. Like, it's government behind it all.
01:24:18
Speaker
I don't have much more to say. The internal corruption in the U.S. government felt like a weak rehash of The Winter Soldier, an actual good movie. Also, I hate to show this movie because it's like the first movie where we have a black Captain America, and I have no problem with that.
01:24:33
Speaker
I think Anthony
Rewatch Potential and Wrap-Up
01:24:34
Speaker
Mackie's great. The movie just sucks. I love him. He's great. The movie just sucks. I'm sorry. It's just i like it better than The Monkey. I also technically like it better than the monkey.
01:24:47
Speaker
So I guess star rating, I'm going to assume, are you giving it a two and a half? I am indeed giving it a two and a half star. Okay. Well, I'm, I'm, I'm half upping you.
01:24:59
Speaker
I'm going to give it a three. Wow. three. Now I know, and know we shit on it, right? Well, it's not aggressively bad. We're just pointing out the issues that we've come to expect with Marvel.
01:25:10
Speaker
Like, I don't know, like most MCU movies, I don't Like they're not
01:25:17
Speaker
bad. Like it's bad, but it's not bad. Like would I rewatch it? Probably. Like if I'm doing an MCU rewatch, right? Oh, it's a part of the thing. Down the line.
01:25:29
Speaker
I'm not going to be like, oh, I got to watch this one again. For the podcast. Yeah. Whenever we get there. We might. We might. We're thinking about it, by the way. Thinking about it. it's ah That's an endurance.
01:25:41
Speaker
That's a big take. A big take. I don't want the problem is I wanted the shows, which you kind of have to do. Yeah. I don't, I'm not a big show guy.
01:25:53
Speaker
There am I watch YouTube. I watch YouTube every day. Yeah. Yeah. Every day. Premium. Oh, I just watch YouTube. Oh, you got to get YouTube premium, dude. No, I don't. Okay. All right.
01:26:05
Speaker
Yeah. Two and a half, I think is where I'm at. Uh, three. and i'm Sorry, to we picked two mid-movies to review this week. Debbie Downers.
01:26:18
Speaker
We'll do... Dick Down Debbie, whoever Debbie is. Dick Down Little Debbie. Give me some that fucking... Little Debbie, whoa. You can fucking get it. and i and learned one What does Little Debbie look like?
01:26:30
Speaker
I don't know. Was she in a Young Gravy song, right? Was it Baby No Money? Fucking give me my... Dude, I'll put my fucking cream in her Swiss rolls. Are you kidding me?
01:26:41
Speaker
In her Swiss rolls. Bro, you ever have a fucking nutty buddy? Oh, come on, dude. I love a nutty buddy. The oatmeal... Yeah, I forgot. Oatmeal cream pies?
01:26:53
Speaker
I'll give her a fucking cream pie. Those are dope. I love oatmeal cream pies. Oh, and I want one. Oh, yeah. Let's do Because I'm hungry, so let's do Plug it in, plug it in.
01:27:05
Speaker
So follow us on Instagram, two guys, one screen pod, send any comments, concerns, requests to two guys, one screen pod at gmail.com. Follow us on letterboxd, follow us on Tik TOK and YouTube for the clips and send any voicemails that you want. Please fucking do that. Please.
01:27:26
Speaker
To five away, eight fist us, 508-834-7847. We seven we will listen to it on on the podcast. We promise.
01:27:40
Speaker
Please. I beg you. I'll give you a dollar. Dude, I'll fucking suck you. Yeah. Clit or cock, whoever calls. Whatever you want. Asshole. not That's not legally binding.
01:27:51
Speaker
Okay. No. So, I do. We should give a shout out. The... Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone episode is cooking right now. So thank you guys so much ah for tuning into that because next week we continue with the Chamber of Secrets. And if you think Sorcerer's Stone is wild, wait for Chamber of Secrets.
01:28:11
Speaker
um I've been getting good feedback ah from my personal like text and shit saying that they're you're enjoying the Harry Potter. So ah I'm glad. I'm glad people are enjoying because we had a shit ton of fun recording those.
01:28:25
Speaker
Yeah. It's been up for a day, and I think it has the most views for like being released in ah in a day. Yeah, it's cooking, dude. It's doing it's doing good.
01:28:36
Speaker
um Keep tuning in to those. Listen to Check out our older episodes. you know There's a bunch of shit in in our catalog now. We're 38 episodes deep. yeah There's plenty of shit to listen to. Got any recommendations? At this point, no, because we're booked through June already.
01:28:51
Speaker
No, I mean, do you have any recommendations for people to go back and listen to? Oh, episodes. yeah Well, obviously, I'm always going to plug our first, like I think, truly off the walls episode, Friday the 13th.
01:29:02
Speaker
Oh, yeah. I think but that is the one that's the main one that I would recommend. One that I think is slept on that not enough people listen to would be Trick or Treat. Trick or Treat for sure. One that's actually kind of cooking, um but Poughkeepsie Tapes.
01:29:19
Speaker
I like that episode a lot. Good ep? I don't know why I like it, but I like it. um i mean our class like if you were gonna like be like this is like what the up like what the guys are like uh bridge tarbithia is like our our main john yeah without know that one actually cooks like that one cooks wise uh and then it's our highest food our podcast episode also want to shout out gremlins that's a gremlins gremlins is like probably in my top five of our underrated
01:29:50
Speaker
Gremlins is Gremlins was number one. And then we also did black Christmas, which kind of unfortunately took the cake. Black Christmas is fucking crazy. Yeah. Well, yeah, we're, you know, He ain't fucking it.
01:30:03
Speaker
This is from Black Christmas. He ain't fucking it. We're not fucking corpses. He's not fucking. But the guy Poughkeepsie tapes is. He is though. Yeah. So. And I also think yeah if you want a recent one that maybe you didn't catch because a bonus episode. ah The My Bloody Valentine was a solid ep.
01:30:22
Speaker
Yeah. Solid ep. And I'm glad Nick came around on that movie. A fun time. um I. Yeah. Next week. Like I said. Chamber of Secrets. And I don't know what I said at the end of Chamber of Secrets, but the week after that, we should be recording Mickey 17.
01:30:39
Speaker
Yes. So listen to my voice now and not my voice on the next week's episode because that was pre-recorded. We apologize. Things got a little... No, no, I don't apologize for shit. Fuck you. We don't apologize for shit. It's out there.
01:30:52
Speaker
I'm not apologizing for that. I was trying to plan fucking... We were trying to plan five months in advance. I don't... Fuck... No. We recorded the episode in fucking December. We recorded that episode. I don't give a shit. It's February 23rd today.
01:31:03
Speaker
Fuck you. No, we'd love you. No, we'd love you. Suck our cock. Respectfully. Suck our cock. Consensually. I would actually, what I've started saying at work is asking people if they want a kiss for moral support.
01:31:16
Speaker
I like that. Yeah. Let me give you a kiss for moral support. I like that. Not like tongue them down. Just like a little, you know, little kiss. That's it. It's not gay. No. No. For moral support. It's not gay. Fucking moral support. Trying to help a homie out.
01:31:29
Speaker
Exactly. Right. Alright, we'll see you guys next week ah for ah Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Toodles. Fuck you, Mark.