Transcript
Speaker: Thanks for joining for the introduction episode of the Books Brothers podcast, where each week we read, discuss, and share with the hope of becoming better men. My name is Adam, and five friends and I started a book club a year and a half ago. Like many guys, we had become disconnected from male friendships and were facing new life challenges. We initially started our book club to stay connected, but through their process, we each have experienced growth as individuals and been challenged to be better men by each other.
Speaker: We all like the idea of how this concept could help others, and as a result, we decided to share our book club in the form of a podcast. Since today is our introduction episode, we are going to introduce everyone involved in the podcast, share the origin story of our book club, explain why we are making our book club into the Books Brothers podcast, and tell listeners what you can expect each week when you listen in. And now, a word from our sponsors.
Speaker: This week's podcast is sponsored by Downward Dog Dairy Company, introducing their new chocolate dingle yogurt with brown berries. It's a great way to promote digestion with healthy live cultures and gut bacteria. That's great. That's one. You want to do another one? Thanks to Downward Dog Dairy Company. I appreciate that. Did I just hear Wolf bark in the background?
Speaker: No, that's Nova. That's perfect. I thought I heard a dog bark. So yeah, we want to start today with just going around and doing introductions so you can get a chance to meet everyone who's going to be part of the podcast and we'll talk a little about who we are and how we know each other. Adam, why don't you lead off with us? Yeah, my name is Adam Flussner, master's degree in exercise physiology, former strength and conditioning coach and exercise physiologist and elite level power lifter.
Speaker: elite or in a zoom call for work right now. Really? I would never say that for work. That's so annoying.
Speaker: Yeah, but that's, you know, fitness junkie, kind of done all kinds of stuff. Glad to be here to kind of get our group together of college friends as an awesome way to keep up. We're not only keeping up and laughing together, but learning together and growing together. And over the last year or so we've been doing this. I've seen all of us kind of
Speaker: improve in our just daily lives you know and career and relationships and this has been a really helpful way for me to stay connected to you know other men which is extremely important for as you get older and kind of uh you know nowadays you know it's kind of hard to stay connected everybody's kind of on their phones a lot more and uh we kind of need to
Speaker: realize the importance of connection and especially for us men, but it's been extremely helpful for me as well, just as a way to kind of climb out of some lows that I had hit when I was, you know, a few years ago.
Speaker: And, you know, all, all the research shows that just happiness is the main thing is having connection. And so this is a really good way to have that. And our goal is to basically show the benefits of that and reading and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, elevator music. Hi, Robbie.
Speaker: What is up boys? It's Rob Rossinsky here. Live in Kansas city, Missouri. Go chiefs. Originally from Omaha, Nebraska. Met all these hooligans back at Missouri state university, what 14 years ago. It's been 10 years since we've graduated college coming up. So
Speaker: Time flies by, just a little bit about myself. So recently married, coming up on a year here actually to my talented bride, Marianne. We have a Husky together, an old boy named Wolf. Took a little bit of a hiatus from the book club.
Speaker: Just kind of getting ready, trying to kill the boy as I become a man to be a husband. So really just wanted to sink my teeth into that. And so I'm excited to be back. This will be my third book with the guys. So really looking forward to that. Some things that I enjoy doing in my free time is chasing adventure, playing golf anytime I can get out. I'm a happy guy if I'm on the course.
Speaker: Typically, it ends in sadness because, you know, the game of golf, it's a hard game. Unlike Flezner or Adam Flezner, I am not an Olympic power lifter. I really only enjoy doing chest and bise. You can count on me for that. At least you're honest with yourself.
Speaker: Yes, and I enjoy cooking and I am on the pursuit to find the best IPA in the world. So I enjoy cracking into some IPAs. I work for a Swiss chocolate company managing a portion of their logistics, but similar to what Adam was sharing. Relationships are what matters most, right? I think
Speaker: In my 10 years out of college, you chase the next job, chase the next move, chase what the job can provide for you. But at the end of the day, relationships, connection, personal growth, spiritual growth, those things matter the most. And so that is what I try to fill my time up with these days. Reading for me has been hot and cold at times, I think.
Speaker: Sometimes it's daunting because with my free time reading is not always been first choice. But when you get into a book, something that you love, it gets it's gets fun to get lost in something. So I hope you all take it up on us and get lost with us. All right. And Thomas, if you want to share for a second, then. All right. So hello, world. My name is Thomas. I was lucky enough to spend a ton of time with these guys in college.
Speaker: I did a lot of hanging out with the bros when I probably should have been studying, which I don't regret that at all. But in college, these guys really elevated the standards I had for myself and I think really set me up to be confident and motivated after school. Little background about the arc of our friendship here between me and these guys. Post college, I went from having a ton of social interaction
Speaker: with these guys and living with them most of my time in college to spending the first couple years traveling around for my career, which ended up being good for my career, but a pretty lonely thing for me to do. So there was a big contrast between my social life in college and then directly after. It was beneficial for me in some ways.
Speaker: And in 2016, I got lucky and my company offered to move me to Honolulu. So naturally my wife and I have been there ever since. But during those lonely years after college, I do remember wanting to reach out to these guys and chat and catch up. But there was always kind of something that kept me from doing that most of the time. It might've been time zone differences or maybe feeling weird about reaching out to other people more than they reached out to me.
Speaker: Or maybe embarrassed I wasn't globetrotting in Lambos and traveling on private jets at 24 years old. I seem to keep in touch with these guys less and less after college. But more recently, over the past couple years, they were among the only people in my life I felt safe sharing my true thoughts and feelings about the world with and bouncing off different ideas because I trusted them.
Speaker: And, you know, that's something I really wish I would have had during those first couple of years out of school. I hope this podcast will encourage guys, especially that age, late teens, early mid twenties, to try to reach out to some of their friends more often that are guys or mentors. Overall, I would say I'm a, you know,
Speaker: pretty goofy, outgoing fellow on the outside, but I definitely respect the power of words and the impact they can have on people. I kind of had mixed feelings about doing a podcast actually. I had a little bit of reservations about throwing my opinions out there maybe on such a big platform. I tend to wrestle with
Speaker: a lot of philosophical thoughts about things, and I like to talk to people about those things, but being on the record means you feel like maybe sometimes you can't change your mind, which, I mean, that's a me problem, not a podcast problem, but I see the potential though, I'm excited for this podcast, because at the end of the day, I thought,
Speaker: you know, these are all normal thoughts, normal feelings for any human being to have. And the worst thing we can all do is to silo off all of our perspectives and not share them and grow. So I'm excited about it. I think
Speaker: The ratio of how much I produce versus how much I consume has been something that I've thought about a lot over the last few years. And I think culturally we are on the extreme end at this point of consumption rather than producing things for ourselves. And I think that's one of the reasons the world's pretty addicted to consuming and excess is because it just kind of
Speaker: It's a snowball. The more you do it, the more you want to. And the less that you are maybe in a zone of creativity or production for other people and for the world. So I would say in addition to connecting and learning and consuming information from a book together, this podcast gives us a chance to bounce that out by producing something for others to hear and think about. And I'm excited to see what kind of impact that could have.
Speaker: He's pulling out his one page, he's pulling out his one page edited MLA document that he has prepared for this moment. MLA? Oh my gosh, that is, that's taking it back. Man, what are you trying to say, Rob? I don't understand. That you're organized. I try to be, I try to be. No, I actually did not prepare any thoughts. I did, I did send kind of a sample outline for tonight though, to stay on a couple of days ago.
Speaker: Good job Thomas.
Speaker: Yeah. Name's Garrett. Do not live in Kansas City, but I'm originally from Kansas City. I actually knew Matt, I think since junior high. So have known him. Good grief. Is it weird to say 20 years? That doesn't even seem real. But yeah, that's 20 years.
Speaker: So yeah, I've known some folks even longer, some of these guys even longer than college. So live in Oklahoma City now with my wife and two boys have a three and a half year old and almost a one and a half year old. He's 17 months as of yesterday.
Speaker: My wife and I, we've moved around. We've been married almost 10 years. We've lived in two countries, four cities, technically three cities, but we've lived in Oklahoma City twice. So we've moved out of state and then back in. So I feel like that kind of counts. And yeah, I got reconnected as actually a Rob's bachelor party.
Speaker: when, you know, we got to see all these guys and Staelyn told me about this book club. And at the time was in between, I was transitioning a lot of life. We had just had our second child. We were about to move.
Speaker: back to Oklahoma City for my wife to start her new job the next stage in her career. So I was, you know, in a lot of transition, leaving the church we were at, saying goodbye to a lot of friendships, thinking through, you know, the process of starting new friendships again in Oklahoma City. And I've just really learned and, you know, if I ever took it for granted, I don't know the value of like
Speaker: a lot of the friendships and the bonding that takes place over college. When you live together, whether it's in the fraternity house, a lot of you guys are roommates. Matt and I were roommates at one point, just there's a lot of life that happens in close proximity. And when you can reconnect over a bachelor party, when you haven't seen several guys in a few years, it's like instantaneous. And, uh,
Speaker: Yeah, Stalen invited me to join and I've been very grateful for that invitation and so glad to be part of this. I think on like the reading side of this, I've super enjoyed just the cadence and the habit starting of reading.
Speaker: A year ago, I probably would have told you I didn't have a ton of time to read. And it was a stretch for me to read 50 pages about what we read on average per week. And I feel like, no joke, I have read more books, including a couple audio books in the last year than I probably have in the past five to 10 years combined. And that's not even an exaggeration. So it's been great for me to get back in that rhythm. But then like what other folks, I don't know why I keep saying folks.
Speaker: What other guys have shared just just the cadence of a regular connection with other men who i know well and i'm gonna reconnect and get to know even better. It's also been good to walk through life as well similar age and you know different stages in our career but at the same time like.
Speaker: Realizing that we might have different jobs different titles different experiences we literally live all around the country from hawaii to saint louis and everywhere in between yet some of the insecurities we deal with some of the fears some of the challenges and successes are all very similar and we're able to share that.
Speaker: and be vulnerable with other guys and be encouraged and challenged by other men. It's really, selfishly, it's amazing. And so I think that benefit goes both ways with this entire group. And so that's what I've been most grateful for and excited about continuing year two of being part of this book club. I think folks is a very gender neutral term in this day and age. So hip.
Speaker: Well, I'm Matt. I also live in Kansas City, Missouri. Born and raised here. I've barely even moved away, except for college, which is kind of sad to think about. I have been married to my lovely wife, Emily, for eight years. We have two kids, four and a half and two and a half, both girls. So I'm a girl dad.
Speaker: They're a lot of fun. Right now they're super into Frozen. So all day, every day is just them either singing or listening to Frozen songs. And if you know me, I'm very particular about my music. And it's terrible. I hate it.
Speaker: but i love the girl what's terrible the the singing or the the song itself all of it all of it i was always hopeful just kind of wishing that my kids would have been like these prodigy singers not the case
Speaker: Yeah. Jesus vintage film videos. Yeah, they're great though. Uh, I work from home. I am a project manager and I, it's actually a new role for me. About three months I've been in this role, but previously in account management within the IT healthcare space, uh, since college.
Speaker: Like Garrett said, I've lived with everyone here. Besides Garrett, we lived in a house called the Pentagon, our junior year, and it was fantastic. Best year of college, the most crazy in several ways because of busyness and just ridiculousness. Literalness. Yeah. Lived with Garrett. You probably know, but I hated living with you, Garrett.
Speaker: You did? You're a great friend, but I did not like living with you. In the house? Yeah. Oh, I never knew that. What did I do? The way you lived, man. Who had the saran wrap and who had the leaves? You're loud. I had the leaves. I don't even know what is going on right now.
Speaker: Yeah, I have so much to learn. We can talk about that later, but that's funny. So we're all pretty close in college, but then I'm really bad at keeping up with people, especially if we're not in the same city. And even now, if we are in the same city, I'm still pretty bad at it. And so after college, I feel like I didn't do a good job of staying in touch with any of you guys.
Speaker: And that's one of my big regrets. So when stay on asked me to join the book club, like, Oh yeah, this is a great way to connect with everyone again. Uh, even though we are.
Speaker: almost all in different cities. Having a regular cadence to meet with the guys is amazing and it's been really great to reconnect. I'm also a huge nerd and I read all the time. I read at least 30 minutes a night right before I go to bed. It's usually fantasy books like Lord of the Rings and The Wheel of Time.
Speaker: But yeah, I also enjoy the type of books that we're going through. So having a book club with close friends is a great way to connect and read. And yeah, for me, it's been really motivational and inspirational in several different aspects of my life, just mentally, spiritually, physically, relationally,
Speaker: I think I've grown in all of those areas since I joined the book club about a year and a half ago. I'm not quite as much of a fitness nerd as all of you bros, but I try when I can. Kids makes it a little bit harder to find the time to do that. But yeah, it's really great. I'm excited to get to our next book and record.
Speaker: And as I mentioned before, my name is Adam. Adam Stalen. I go by Stalen in this group. Adam Fluster goes by Flez just to keep things simple. I've known Adam since we were in high school together, similar to how Garrett and Matt and each other for a while. But as others have mentioned, Flez. Middle school, bro. What are you talking about? Middle school, that's right. Come on, bro. Trust the tips. Yeah, that's right. Even friends in high school, we'll say.
Speaker: But yeah, so I went to college with everyone else here at Missouri State and after graduating from physical therapy school, my wife and I moved out to Phoenix, Arizona. My wife Ruth and I have been married for eight years now. We've got a 10 -week -old right now who's probably crying in the room right now.
Speaker: We moved to Phoenix shortly after I finished school just to get a chance to adventure a little more. Myself and Ruth both love hiking and the outdoors. I've gotten really into long distance running since I've been out here.
Speaker: I work, as I mentioned, I went to school for physical therapy, but I actually just as of yesterday am leaving the field to work in with a medical technology company. So that's an exciting setting time with some transition going on with that and a newborn.
Speaker: As the guys have mentioned, we started this book club about a year and a half ago. It was Adam and Rob and me and Thomas that were the initial individuals that started it. We started it because we really wanted a way to connect more often.
Speaker: A few of us were just going through some life stresses, whether it be relational conflict or work stresses that we really wanted to connect on a regular basis and be really intentional about being friends and living life together and growing together.
Speaker: I've loved books for several years and reading books with this group has been a really cool way to, as other guys have mentioned, just be challenged to grow with your work and be challenged to be a better husband, to be a better
Speaker: to be a better father, to be a better spiritual leader, to be more healthy. And so for me, this has just been really an awesome experience to get to connect with the guys and become a better man, I would hope, through the process. Yes, that's a little bit why we started the podcast and who we are. Next up, we're going to go a little bit into some of the books that we've gone through in the past and what you as a listener can expect to with some of the books that we're going to go through.
Speaker: Maybe Garrett, if you can share a little about some of the books we've read in the past. Absolutely. We've read do hard things. I think that was the first book that I joined in on that took a different approach to what toughness actually looks like from some of the stereotypical, you know, Bobby Knight, you know, scream, make people puke. That's the definition of toughness to reevaluating kind of
Speaker: what that actually looks like and how we can develop toughness into our everyday lives. So that was really beneficial. Sun Tzu says, aka the art of war, which we had varying opinions on. But again, that's what's fun about this book club is the variety of the books that we read.
Speaker: learned about a Chinese general's approach to war about 4 ,000 years ago. And then one of the most, I would just say like fun, like couldn't put it down kind of books. The River of Doubt. It was a story of Teddy Roosevelt when he lost his, it was like his reelection, but he was going for a third term or he was going for another term in like a different party.
Speaker: And he lost and he's dealt with depression in his life, whether it was losing a wife or I think he may have lost a child even by going and doing very difficult life adventures, whether it was like hunting in the Dakotas or just going out into the woods, forest and like just wilderness survival out in like Vermont, I think, or in the Northeast. He decided, hey, let's just go, you know,
Speaker: Go on a river that no human being has ever successfully, uh, traversed before. Let's see if we can do that. And just the literal life and death situations, the psychology of like, just even going on something that a trek like that. And then the interpersonal dynamics of a group, just a really fascinating book. The author actually lives in Kansas city.
Speaker: Uh, which we try to get a hold of her when we first started doing this I think that was some of the first thoughts of like what if we did a podcast, right? Like we could have like the guest the the authors on as a guest Those are a few the most recent one we did to kind of wrap that this part this segment up we read shoe dog Which is a memoir of phil night starting nike
Speaker: It's a book that the founders of where i work now really advocate and talk a lot about being influential.
Speaker: Uh, to them. And so it's just fascinated me. And so I wanted to read it. That was another book I couldn't put down. Uh, it wasn't necessarily in my opinion. And I think I speak for the guys. It wasn't the most like book club conversational, uh, of some of the books that we've read, but just in terms of me working in consumer products and you know, international manufacturing and retail logistics supply chain, it was, you know, negotiating. It was a book I could not put down and, um,
Speaker: being part of a smaller company and starting to grow, it was really fun. So we've kind of across the board from war to starting a company to toughness to survival, we've kind of hit the gamut. And then yeah, even stoicism philosophy, the fifth book, I knew there was one I was forgetting is discipline is destiny and just being a disciplined person
Speaker: and the trajectory that that can set the little things in your everyday life, how that can set your day, your week, your month, your future out for the best possible course. So we've kind of hit, man, doing that recap, we've really hit a wide variety, like kind of like a shotgun approach of just kind of all around. It's well done. I don't think we plan that at all, but that's a fun little variety of books right there.
Speaker: Yeah, one of my favorite books that we did, I don't know if you were going to talk about it, but right before you joined Garrett, we did Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl. And that was one of the most incredible books I've ever read in my whole life. Because he's a Holocaust survivor, right? Yeah. Yeah. He is Austrian. I was just going to say The Comfort Crisis was really good, Michael Easter. Just embracing discomfort, doing crazy things.
Speaker: We've tried to get a variety of books that we've gone through. You've heard a little bit about it from us in this conversation, but we're going to talk a little bit more next about why we're wanting to share this as a podcast with you all. This is something, as you can hear, that's been really influential and beneficial for our lives. Do you guys want to speak to why we've basically decided to turn our book club into the Books Brothers podcast?
Speaker: I can just say a little like sneak preview, sneak preview. We are doing the mask, sneak preview. We're doing the mask of masculinity. And on the title, it says how men can embrace vulnerability, create strong relationships and live their lives to the fullest. I think one of the things that we want to do with the podcast is really embrace vulnerability. Typically when we,
Speaker: Get on these calls and we talk about the books like there's a lot of good segue conversations from the books that kind of weave into our personal lives and allow us to really open up about things that have gone on in our past things that were currently dealing with ways in which we've grown and you know.
Speaker: A real man is a vulnerable man who can share, who can teach, who can lead. And so we think that really, honestly, this next book with the title kind of sums it up in general, right? Like we want to build strong relationships.
Speaker: We want to live our lives to the fullest. We want to be the best version of ourselves so that we can really fulfill all of the hats that we wear in our lives, whether that's a friend, a brother, a son, a father, right? All of those things will allow us to ultimately integrate into society and have an outstanding impact.
Speaker: Matt, Matt, go for it. I insist. Because Fles puts out content that needs to be shared. Oh my goodness. Or at least he's single ladies.
Speaker: Yeah, I think just talking with each other on a week -to -week basis and going through these motivational books has really helped us individually as men and also to stay connected. There's a lot of really good real talk in our conversations. There's a lot of jokes also.
Speaker: Yeah, we just thought if anyone else is out there feeling lonely or disconnected from people if they come across this podcast Hopefully this will give them some inspiration to reconnect with some old friends maybe
Speaker: read some books, reflect on those books and try to become better in one way or another, whether that's being there for somebody or being inspired to go on a run or go work out for the first time in 10 years or whatever it may be. I think as a group, we can agree this podcast is geared towards young men who are looking for guidance.
Speaker: A lot of the mainstream content is pretty limited at this point, in my eyes, to being motivation -y or a little too self -help -y or overly macho, maybe.
Speaker: And I hope this type of a forum and this type of discussion that we're going to have in this podcast provides the younger bros with a more real and down to earth conversation and turns them on to the real benefits of reading, reflecting, connecting with their fellow bros more.
Speaker: However, I would say also if you don't fall within the young men demographic, I would still encourage people to think about how they may have a connection with someone who does. This podcast might expand your understanding of them, provide you with interesting topics of conversation that are relevant to their lives. And, you know, why not get out of your own comfortable silo of unquestioned perspective and thought and give the podcast a listen.
Speaker: Definitely. I think the idea is that we're helping to be a part of developing a community in which men see the strength to reach out, the strength to build friendships and trying to really model the behavior of what manhood looks like.
Speaker: To further expand on what Matt and Thomas are talking about there, so what you can expect as a listener each week is each prior week we're going to share a section of reading that we're going to go through. Then next week we'll chat through and have some discussion questions based upon the reading of that individual book.
Speaker: And then a lot of times there, that just leads to conversation, discussion about our lives, that you're probably also dealing with yourself. As we've had these conversations, we find as men, we're a lot of times dealing with the same conflicts, the same stresses in our life. And so our hope as a listener is that you would essentially read along with us, that you would read each week with us and join in the conversation. We'll share a little bit ways about how you can do that at the end of the episode.
Speaker: Let's go to a commercial break here next before we close up today's episode.
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Speaker: I like that. Last thing we wanted to discuss on the podcast today is what book we're reading. So as Bob mentioned, we're going to be going through The Mask of Masculinity. It's by Lewis House. Garrett, can you share a little bit about kind of the reading plan for this book, what a listener can expect with the next episode with us?
Speaker: Sure. With every book, we typically read a chapter or two each week, then meet and discuss. We'll share at the end of each episode what we plan to read for the following week so you can be sure to follow along. For next week, we will read the preface, the introduction chapter, and the first mask, the stoic mask.
Speaker: In total, we'll cover about 50 pages. Once again, the book is The Mask of Masculinity by Lewis Howes, how men can embrace vulnerability, create strong relationships, and live their fullest lives. We'll include the chapters and post a link in the episode show notes to purchase the book on Amazon, as well as a link to find your local library. If you don't have your library card yet, this is a great excuse to get one.
Speaker: Whether you borrow it or buy it, we hope you read the Mask of Masculinity with us. Again, for next week, we'll discuss the preface, the introduction, and the first mask, the stoic mask.
Speaker: That wraps up our episode for the Books Brothers podcast. Thanks for joining us. If you haven't yet, buy or borrow the book we're going through and follow along with us. Please subscribe and give us a review. We would really appreciate it. Also, please consider sharing this podcast with a friend or family member who you think would get something out of it.
Speaker: Finally, we'd love to hear from you. If you are challenged by our conversation or have any questions or feedback, email us at connect at booksbrotherspodcast .com. Thanks again, and we'll see you next week. Until then, read, reflect, and connect.
