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S2E17: Mastering Public Speaking with Amanda Hennessey
180 Plays1 year ago
What, exactly, are you supposed to do with your hands during a speech?
Great question.
Let’s ask Amanda Hennessey, this week’s Content People guest.
I’ve worked with Amanda in the past - and loved every second I get to spend with her. I know you guys will like her, too.
Amanda’s the bicoastal founder of Boston Public Speaking and San Diego Public Speaking. She coaches teams and individuals - giving them the tools and confidence they need to nail big presentations, small (but important) meetings, and everything in between.
Amanda helps people:
- Manage their nerves.
- Increase their confidence.
- Tell compelling stories.
- Master vocal variety.
- Rehearse (instead of over-rehearse).
- Pull off a great wedding toast.
- And, finally, figure out what the eff to do with their hands during a presentation. ⭐
She’s also the author of Your Guide to Public Speaking: Build Your Confidence, Find Your Voice, and Inspire Your Audience. (Her book’s origin story, which we cover in the ep, is really magical. ✨)
Hope you might like it.
Links:
Meredith’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meredith-farley/ Content People newsletter: https://meredithfarley.substack.com/ Content People instagram: https://www.instagram.com/contentpeoplepod/?hl=en
Amanda's Websites:
https://www.bostonpublicspeaking.com/about
https://www.sandiegopublicspeaking.com/
Amanda's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amandaghennessey/?hl=en
Amanda's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amandahennessey/
Amanda's Course: https://www.bostonpublicspeaking.com/freemasterclass
Amanda's Book: https://www.amazon.com/Your-Guide-Public-Speaking-Confidence/dp/1507210248
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Podcast and Medbury
00:00:04
Speaker
Hi and welcome to Content People. I'm your host Meredith Farley. I'm a former chief product officer turned chief operating officer turned CEO and founder. My agency is called Medbury. At Medbury we work with founders, execs, and companies who want to tell their stories and grow.
Focus on Creative Leaders
00:00:21
Speaker
But Content People is not about me or Medbury, it's about the creative leaders and professionals that we interview every week.
00:00:28
Speaker
We'll delve into their journeys, unpack their insights, and ask them for practical advice. If you like it, please rate and subscribe. Let's get started. Hi, Amanda. Thank you so much for coming on Content People. I'm so excited to get to chat with you.
Public Speaking as an Adventure
00:00:43
Speaker
I'm really excited to be here. For folks who don't know you, can you say a little bit about who you are and what you do?
00:00:50
Speaker
Sure. I am a public speaking coach and helping people experience public speaking more as an adventure with really exciting risks, discoveries and massive rewards rather than like a horror movie with fear, hiding and dread. I work with people one on one.
00:01:07
Speaker
They can be from any kind of industry. They may come to me for a presentation or they want to speak on a panel or a podcast. And in the past, I've definitely done a lot with people who are preparing those wedding toasts, which hang over their heads.
00:01:24
Speaker
Why, best friend, are you doing this to me? I'm already planning you an event, and now I have to give a presentation or talk about you in front of everyone we know. Thanks so much, those folks. And yes, and then I also work with organizations from corporate to nonprofit, and I come in and work with teams to really
00:01:45
Speaker
give them ways to manage their nerves, boost their confidence, how to tell stories, how to have vocal variety, how to not say, not be monotone, what to do with their hands, all those things. And both are really fun. I love the intimacy of the one-on-one experience. And I also love the fun excitement of a group. I was an acting teacher for a long time, an actress, and getting that group energy of people expressing themselves freely feels just so good. Yes, that's what I'm about.
00:02:15
Speaker
I want to mention that you and I worked together. I think we did two sessions one-on-one where you gave me some amazing tips. I think it was a bit about, I wanted some help with public speaking or big event speaking. And then also I feel like you gave me some amazing, just general, like good body language tips. It was so fun. And then you also did some really cool sessions when I was a COO at a marketing agency.
00:02:40
Speaker
We planned a few events that I know all the managers loved, and I've loved every time I get to have an interaction with you. Oh, I feel the same, Meredith, and I had a really great time working with you. So what are some of the most common public speaking stumbling blocks or challenges? Why do people generally come to you?
Addressing Public Speaking Fears
00:03:02
Speaker
Nerves are the number one reason people reach out to me. And that can be caused by a lot of different things. The nerves are basically getting in the way of their creative process. And so they're so distracted by their fear. And often it's the fear of judgment. It's the fear of not measuring up. It's the fear of what they could lose if it doesn't go well. Maybe they won't get promoted. Maybe they'll look silly at the conference.
00:03:32
Speaker
think they're a fraud, et cetera. And they get consumed with those thoughts and then the feelings that come along with them, that racing heartbeat, that not being able to sleep, a lot of self-doubt. So that's just a lot of cortisol. That's a lot of stress. And also not being able to handle being the center of attention. Those are really huge ones. And so I just think it's such a shame that
00:03:56
Speaker
there isn't more training earlier in people's lives. Because I will have people come to me and say, this thing happened in high school, and I've avoided public speaking ever since. Or this horrible thing happened in grad school. And they might be middle aged at this point, and not so many years that they've held themselves back because of this one experience that they weren't able to unpack with someone. And I think, too, people don't always have confidence in their ability to weave a compelling story.
00:04:24
Speaker
And so they're feeling shaky just as a person. And then they're like, is this even good? Do I even know how to put content together? And they also just don't know how to rehearse. And that's something else. But a lot of people just have no training in this. And so there's no reason they would know this, but then expected to do it. And then they feel lame, and there's a lot of self-judgment. So that, in a really big nutshell, are the stumbling blocks that people come to me with very regularly.
00:04:54
Speaker
As you were talking about them, my body started to get like sympathetic reactions. It's such a nervous system response sometimes in the
Managing Public Speaking Nerves
00:05:01
Speaker
moment. I was at an event a few weeks ago and there were six startup founders pitching.
00:05:07
Speaker
for BC funding. I was lucky enough to be in the audience and everyone you could tell was a little bit nervous, which is fine. But I thought, oh, it's such a primal response. Suddenly someone who's very composed is on a stage in front of a group of 40 people and there is a physical reaction. What are your thoughts on that as an expert in this?
00:05:29
Speaker
Oh yeah, of course. We're up there. There's a lot of energy in the room and we have that focus on us and our body is reacting because we deeply care about what we're doing. So I think it's very normal and I think often we're going up and we want something from that audience and we might not get it. For comedians, it's laughs. For people wanting funding, they want money.
00:05:58
Speaker
You want buy-in, you want to be understood, you want to educate, you want people to take action, and you might not get that. Now, if we go in with a deep need for acceptance, then I think we are setting ourselves up for a lot of stress. I think we want to not make the whole experience a referendum on our self-esteem. If this goes well, then I'm okay.
00:06:24
Speaker
Really, we want to have that in a different order. I'm okay. And then it's more likely to go well. Yes, I think that's profound and helpful. I was thinking about the different ways that like acceptance is at play in what you're saying, like not fighting the nerves, not fighting if like your hands a little shaky, accepting and welcoming that, but also a deep self acceptance of
00:06:45
Speaker
I'm fine. I, of course, want this crowd to like me, but if they don't, it's all right. I'm here to tell my story for my purpose. It's all just incredibly helpful reframes that in the moment. Yeah, we want to watch out for those power leaks.
Power Leaks and Self-Acceptance
00:07:01
Speaker
Where are we giving our power away? Power leaks? Yes, I think we know when we have them. I wrote about this in my book, and yet,
00:07:11
Speaker
The publisher asked me to do a public speaking workshop for the company, like for the team of people.
00:07:19
Speaker
And I started noticing myself getting really strung out about this, getting really in my head and more nerve, like just, I was off and because I had done so many workshops and I really loved doing it. And my head's typically at a really great place with it. I'm excited to help people who are struggling. And I know I'm good at what I do. And so I was like, what is happening? What is happening to me? And I traced it back to my thoughts.
00:07:45
Speaker
I was thinking, oh, they've already read my book. They know everything I'm going to share. They already know it. This is going to be boring. I hope they like it. I just, I made it about me. They're going to think this, they're going to think that. I thought, oh, that's why I'm off. I'm not grounded in beliefs that feel good. What? And I'm making this about me.
00:08:09
Speaker
the reputation and it just was, it was not helpful. And I was like, okay, how do I normally think about this? Let's think, this is a group of publishers, people who probably love books, probably love reading books, probably love
00:08:24
Speaker
being behind the scenes, making books happen. They may not like being in front. They may be really scared. Oh, I can't wait to help them. Then I was fine. Once I made it about how can I help? What pain could these people be in? Then my heart opens. I'm not about me. It's more about how do I create a really great experience for people so they can do this thing that is really scary for so many people.
00:08:52
Speaker
I really liked that. It's like you're the servant of the message and you're there to share a story. So you said power leak and I want to just tap into that for one second because I feel like I know what you mean when you say that. I feel like for myself, for example, I am trying so hard, Amanda. There is a people pleaser in me and she is present so much of the time.
00:09:17
Speaker
And she is a power leak for me, as I understand how you're talking about it. But can you talk a little bit about what that means to you, like a power leak and how people could maybe figure out what their power leaks are? Sure. I think we probably know on some level what some of them are because we suddenly feel really insecure around certain people or certain situations. I think a lot of people will say,
00:09:44
Speaker
that whenever their boss is in the room watching them do stuff or upper management, that's where they start to feel really small. And we can think obviously, of course they feel that's upper management. And I think that giving our power away in terms of that, like they have more worth than I do, I'm lower, they're higher in the hierarchy, the org chart even says so. If we can really separate
00:10:13
Speaker
our intrinsic worth from the org chart, that's helpful. So knowing that even if you're young in the company and you're newer, you still have things to offer, releasing the need to prove our worth.
00:10:28
Speaker
Believing that my perspective matters and my insights can make a difference. I'm allowed to be young in my career. I have worth as a 20 year old. I have worth as a 30 year old. I think it's so tricky because I think sometimes we can be in the workforce and be like, I'm only in my twenties. I'm too young. People are taking me seriously. We're probably not taking ourselves seriously. And then.
00:10:52
Speaker
if we're in middle age, it's, oh my God, I'm middle age, now I'm getting old. It's like, when is it okay? When is it okay to be the age we are? So I think that sense of honoring the fact that there are people with, yes, more expertise or have power over you in the organization, have more money or more degrees, great, we're gonna respect that. And, but that doesn't mean we have to be small. We can still be big with,
00:11:20
Speaker
Hey, I graduated from college or I have this training. I've had this experience. This is what I can bring to the table. I wanted to talk
Executive Presence Defined
00:11:28
Speaker
about executive presence. I think it's something that comes up quite a lot. People get feedback that they don't love it. No one knows what it is. How do you define it and how would you help someone cultivate it if that's something they're interested in or something they've been told they need to work on?
00:11:48
Speaker
Sure. The way I think about executive presence is confidence. And I'd say charisma. I think simply it's wanting to be able to command the room and not be caught up in the drama of things. So you've probably got really good boundaries and it's going to look differently on different people. But I think being able to hold your own in the room
00:12:15
Speaker
and be engaging so that people wanna listen and feel like there's something to listen to. For me, I think in a simple way, that's how I see it. And I love what you're saying about, we're told we don't have it, but we don't even know what it is. Like that's something, yes, that's not helpful at all. And so I think that sense of not needing everyone's approval.
00:12:42
Speaker
Really seeing that your opinion is the one that matters most to you. Now, if you're a sociopath, you're probably not listening to this podcast to improve because you feel like you're all set. So perhaps it's good that I'm using that example, but really like I tell people when they go into job interviews,
00:13:01
Speaker
Whose opinion matters most? And often the question, the answer is, oh, the HR person or the person I'm speaking to. And I'm like, no, actually it's yours because what you think of you is what you bring in the room. What you think of you is going to determine how you walk. It's going to determine how you share your story. Yes. I really love all of that. I would say for me, executive presence is being deeply in touch and in tune with your own
00:13:26
Speaker
thoughts, perceptions, and experiences as opposed to casting your energy all over the room and like overly calibrating. And it's funny, I think
00:13:36
Speaker
naturally for a lot of people when they're a little nervous or it's a new situation, we do the latter. We're like looking around, we're trying to figure out like, what are the power dynamics here? How are people feeling, et cetera? And deeply tuning in and getting grounded regardless of your situation is so impactful there. I would totally agree. And it's challenging because I think people who are executives or wanting to be executives are
00:14:01
Speaker
They're often so busy that it's meeting after meeting, it's talk, there's so much going on that it's harder to take that time away to reflect and get grounded. So my next question would be, have you seen people make significant transformations in their ability to confidently speak in front of a crowd?
Client Success Story
00:14:22
Speaker
And if so, how do you think that's impacted the opportunities that are available to them?
00:14:28
Speaker
Sure. I immediately think about one client who came to me. She was in the medical field and very well-respected doctor, researcher. And she had given a presentation and it did not go well. And she went into a very like dark hole. Like she's really beating herself up so hard on herself. And she just felt at a loss how, and just in a really,
00:14:56
Speaker
bad space with it. And we worked together, she came and was part of a group coaching program I was doing last year. And she is somebody, she's a doctor, she clearly works hard, but she went all in. And the mindset piece was enormous for her in terms of really that letting go of that need for approval, really making this about being an advocate.
00:15:20
Speaker
rather than I've got to pander to my boss. Those are really different dynamics. What am I fighting for rather than what am I desperate to get that I didn't get for my parents? And so that piece she really dug into. And then also we went over, how do we tell a compelling story? And she got to practice that and start to build the confidence in those skills. How do I use my voice in a way that like draws people in and keeps them with me?
00:15:47
Speaker
How do I use pauses? How do I use vocal variety? And then how can I use my slides in a way that is not boring, that doesn't just have full sentences on them, that doesn't just have a thousand bullet points? How can we make them really compelling and have some surprise and delight even in a very serious field of medicine? Is there a little levity we can bring? Is there the reveal we can have? So it's not just a boring talk.
00:16:14
Speaker
And she just really, I just saw her blossom and she, and also I was telling her all about Canva, that wonderful design thing and coolers. And it brought out this like artsy craftsy person that she had probably been in as a kid. So she got really, excuse me. She got really into the design aspect of this with the slide. She's, oh my God, this is so fun thinking about
00:16:38
Speaker
how to teach the audience this in an unexpected way. So it like brought up this creative spark. And so she just was feeling better and more and more confident. And in terms of how things have changed, I think her confidence, she speaks internationally, being able to do that in these different situations, she left her job. She decided she'd been there for a long time and she went to a much higher position and is now making significantly more money.
00:17:08
Speaker
Wow, okay, so quite an impact. If someone doesn't have the budget or the ability to work with you, but they want to improve as a public speaker outside of reading your book, which I'll ask a question on in a second, are there a few general actionable tips you could offer?
Resources for Public Speaking
00:17:26
Speaker
Depending on when you're listening to this podcast, I actually have a free masterclass coming up on October 24th, offering it again on the 26th and the 28th. And in that, I'm basically going to be sharing the different things that I've used with clients.
00:17:42
Speaker
to help people get more comfortable and feel more at ease within themselves and really get in a mindset that enables us to work with that nervous energy so that we can sync clearly and adapt under pressure. And so that's something I would offer up.
00:17:57
Speaker
And in terms of other things, Toastmasters is a group that probably most people have heard of. It's a volunteer-led organization that is really supportive of people working on those skills. And so I would highly recommend checking out groups in your area. I think they're all over the country, if not the world. And if one group you don't connect with, go to another and check it out. And I say also, what's great is you've got your phone, I imagine.
00:18:27
Speaker
and you have a camera on there. And even if you were to put it up, take off your judgment hat and decide, you know what, I want to talk about my favorite Netflix TV show and speak directly to camera or speak to the lamp in your room.
00:18:44
Speaker
and just see how it goes when you're not under pressure, when you're talking about something you really love, and observe that with someone who loves you so they can say, hey, that was so cool the way you described that. Or, ooh, I love it. Do you see what your voice did or the humor you brought in? I think practicing in situations that are fun
00:19:06
Speaker
and less pressured could be a way. The phone's an amazing resource and getting used to seeing yourself on camera and getting over it and just figuring out, Hey, did the message get across? Does that make sense? And then trying it again and trying it again and deleting it all. No one needs to see it except for that supportive person. I think that can just start us get in that process of finding that way to tell that story and getting over ourselves.
00:19:33
Speaker
I would never have thought about practicing for a video, but that seems like such great advice. But I think those are great tips. I wanted to ask about
Writing a Book on Public Speaking
00:19:44
Speaker
your book. I love the origin story of your book, and I was wondering if you could tell it, because I know you told it to me before and I was blown away.
00:19:53
Speaker
Yeah, I love this story too. I come back to it when I need inspiration. So I had been wanting to write a book about public speaking for a bunch of years. And I just, for a long time, didn't feel like I had the bandwidth, but I kept really picturing it and how cute I wanted it to be, easy to flip through. And I wanted it to be funny. I wanted it to not be boring at all. And I loved writing. So I was like, I could totally do this.
00:20:19
Speaker
And so it was June of 2018, I think. And I really thought to myself, I am ready to write this now. I really want to. I'm going to make the time
00:20:36
Speaker
I have it in me, so I'm going to just commit to a writing schedule. And if I do that and stick to it, this book will, it will come together. It'll be great. And so I decided, okay, I'm going to wake up and I'm going to write until I go to yoga class.
00:20:53
Speaker
And so I thought, okay, great. That is my deal. And I woke up the first day. It was a Monday. I did this and I was getting all my thoughts organized. It felt so good. I went to yoga. I woke up the second day. I promise this is the story changes very soon.
00:21:09
Speaker
I woke up the second day early. I was writing and I'm like, this is working. This is working. I went to yoga. I did that. I checked my email after yoga and in my inbox was an email from Adams Media, which is a subsidiary, a part of Simon & Schuster, saying, Hey, would you be interested in writing a book on public speaking?
00:21:30
Speaker
And I started laughing and I wrote some, I said, yes, I would. I should say when I talked to them, so this was in June, we spoke. I said, what kind of timeframe are we looking at? They said, we would want a half the book done by mid-September and we would want the second half done by mid-October of the same year. Oh wow.
00:21:49
Speaker
And I thought, okay, all right, thank God I have this writing schedule. So I wrote and wrote and wrote, and it was a really interesting process. And I highly recommend if you're going to write a book, outline the whole thing.
00:22:05
Speaker
So I would just wake up and look at my outline and say, that looks exciting. Yay. I'll write about that today. And I'd write about it. And I kept seeing clients, which was really helpful because then I would sometimes be like, I'm stuck. And I'd go meet with a client and think, oh, this is how I should share it. Or, whoa, this is a case study right here.
00:22:23
Speaker
I did feel supported by my life in terms of how the book came together. It like my life helped inform. I didn't need to become a hermit and go to Appalachia and rent a cabin and be by myself. I actually being within the flow of life really helped with this project. Love the story. It's so magical. And I appreciate that last point because I think so often a lot of folks
00:22:50
Speaker
any creative project or anything to start, maybe particularly books, you think, at some point in my life, I will have so much money and so much free time that I can just go to a cabin for a year. And that's when I'll do it. And it's, you could just do it. You can weave it in. You can, anyway.
00:23:06
Speaker
I love it. And that's where it was pretty cool to have these deadlines. I have boundaries and I needed to keep making money. I did get a small advance, but I, but it wasn't even, Oh, I have to work. And so it really does help build a trust in life that inspiration is all around us. And yes. And sometimes I need to be really quiet by myself. Everyone leave me alone. So I can think that's definitely true of me. But then being in the world.
00:23:32
Speaker
having those interactions can also bring that inspiration that you need. And you didn't even know you needed. And you're like, ah, that's the answer. Yeah. So I have your book. I will put it in the show notes. Folks who are really enjoying this convo should absolutely check it out and buy it. But could you talk about your course a little bit more too?
Online Course: Speak Boldly
00:23:51
Speaker
Sure. This again is something else I've thought about for years and now I'm sprinting. I, with my own deadlines, yes, it is an online course. It's called the Speak Boldly course and it's composed of 12 modules and those will be things that people watch on their own and then
00:24:12
Speaker
Once a week, I'll be available to do some group coaching for about 12 weeks in the program. And that is all the things. This course includes all the things around mindset. I always begin with that. How do we manage our nerves? How do we manage being the center of attention?
00:24:35
Speaker
What do we do with our body language? How do we allow it to help not only us look confident, but for us to really feel confident and look great? And how do we use our voice? How do I project in the room if there isn't a microphone? How do I stop saying, how do I not be monotone? How do I tell a story? So what we're going from, if we think of ourselves as the instrument, we're tuning the instrument.
00:24:58
Speaker
the emotional, the intellectual, the physical. And then we move into how do we make a really interesting talk or speech? How do I tell a story? How can I use an analogy? What could I do with a cliche if I'm really a little bit in love with it? And how can I make slides that don't make people want to poke their eyes out and really enjoy that? And then how do I rehearse the thing that
00:25:24
Speaker
So many people don't know and there's no reason they would know. I have a whole background in theater and film and commercials. And so rehearsing, especially with the theater background, I know a lot about rehearsing and it's amazing how much rehearsal goes into having performances that are alive, engaging and seem spontaneous.
00:25:43
Speaker
And they're very well rehearsed and it's that mixture of preparation and then being in the moment. And then how do we perform? How do we present in a way that feels good? What do we do with that energy in the audience? And actually speaking of audience, what I forgot to say is there's a whole module all about analyzing your audience. Cause we want to make this whole experience audience centric. So we want to figure out as much as we can who they are. What are they about? What do they need? How can we help them?
00:26:11
Speaker
et cetera. So it's all of those things. I'm doing my best to make it really fun, colorful as I like colors and super practical and really using all the things that I've taught so many people with and people have found really helpful. So it's a mixture. A lot of things come from my acting background and then all of my experience coaching people with public speaking.
00:26:33
Speaker
It sounds so incredible. So you've got the master class and then when did these courses launch? So basically the master class is that little gateway drug to get a sense of me and get a sense of the way I teach and some of the wisdom I share. And so once those master classes have happened, that is when the course will launch.
00:26:55
Speaker
I think it's something I'm going to offer a number of times a year. So this will be the first iteration, which I'm really excited about. So for folks listening who are like, I'm super interested in following Amanda, keeping tabs on this class and maybe investing in this course, where would you send them? And wherever you say, I will put in the show notes so people can check.
00:27:16
Speaker
Great.
Follow Amanda's Work
00:27:17
Speaker
I would say in terms of my website, I split my time between Boston and San Diego. So I have bostonpublicspeaking.com. I also have san diegopublicspeaking.com. They are similar. They just have different logos. And I'm also on Instagram. And that's Amanda G. Hennessey. And look at how that's spelled. There's a lot of double letters in that last name.
00:27:43
Speaker
And I'm also on LinkedIn. I'm not super active on there. I'm going to be more active on there. Meredith, it was such a delight. I was like, I really need to be on LinkedIn more. And the day I said that is the day that we reconnected. And I was like, yes, this was awesome, actually. What am I? Why am I not on here? Look what's happened.
00:28:02
Speaker
So yeah, so those are the places I can be found. All right. Website, Instagram, LinkedIn, and your book. All those links are going to be in the show notes. And is there anything you wish I'd asked or anything you'd want to say before we wrap? I would say public speaking is a skill that can be learned. Yes. You might have friends or relatives that are just simply good at it. They have a theatrical spirit and they do it. And you're like, they didn't need training. They're a natural.
00:28:32
Speaker
There are people who are not naturals who can become really good. And it's putting that time and effort in. Just get some training, get some skills. It's okay that you don't have them, but don't keep not having them. Go get them. Amanda, it has been so awesome to talk to you. Thank you so much. It was just great. Thank you. Thank you so much, Meredith. It's always a delight to connect with you.
00:29:00
Speaker
All right, folks, I hope that you enjoyed that episode. Thank you so much for listening. If you liked it, please subscribe or review us. And if you want to check out our newsletter Content People, it is in the show notes. See you next time. Bye.