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EP 16: Beast House
111 Plays1 year ago
In this episode Jim, John, & TJ talk about How many inches make a Johnson, Old Guys in The Adult Industry, and HagMaxxing.
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Transcript
Technical Difficulties and Gym Humor
00:00:00
Speaker
Sorry about that, folks. We just had a technical difficulty here. A little technical difficulty. DJ wanted to use the generator. Yeah, I just wanted to test it out. Looks like it works. too much wa It works for a little bit, but it works. I think it works. Too much wattage or whatever. I'm convinced it works. That was fun while it lasted though. We were talking about fucking fitness routine. Watching somewhat like, have you ever seen people that go into the gym that have the nicest shit? Yeah, it's always a fat fuck. Yeah, so the fat fuck always has the nicest shit. It's always New Year's Day. Some fat piece of shit is in there with his list. And it's me.
Planet Fitness Irony and Gym Culture
00:00:37
Speaker
It's tootsie rolls and it's and it's me and there's pizza. It's me pizza and tootsie rolls and we're all working out in the first That's why there's that's why there's like fucking like like like windbreakers and shit all have pizza roll pockets in them I know why what do I need a pop for an iPod? What the fuck do I need a pocket that stays hot for for bagel bites? Yeah for bagel bites For bagel bite or else you're gonna walk bagel bite or else you're gonna walk in a slight incline for five minutes Yeah
00:01:04
Speaker
I love how like like like that's also going to be another thing like New Year's Day at Planet Fitness is probably like their big season. Yeah, they get a billion fucking signups. It's all that and then the people pay it forever. That's the whole other thing. A lot of people pay it forever. I'm paying it like four times because if you cancel it like like you're You're admitting to yourself that you're a fatty or if you can't yeah if you cancel it too That's you're also gonna have to fucking cough up every tootsie roll you took all the way in Are you are you a broke fatty? Is that what you're saying? Yeah, little miss too fat for plan of fitness ah money Yeah, it's only judgment free if you here stuff membership it's judgment. It's a judgment free zone
00:01:46
Speaker
As long as you pay. That's crazy,
Haunted Apartments and Spooky Tales
00:01:48
Speaker
because I go in there and I fucking look at everybody and think of a story. When I, the for like the like two months I was going, I went, ah so somehow my brother stopped paying the bill, but he had like a like a black membership. That was like ah like a QR code that was just ice screen-shotted and it just worked. It just always worked. So I just went in there and I went to the Clifton Heights one. Nice. Which was banging. Bang your wall. You'll be like trying to like fucking lift and some do to walk by with a cool I'm like and I really actually needed that I think I need a black eye pep
Gym Fashion and Absurdity
00:02:24
Speaker
more but like if you go to the treadmills that's where like all the that's where all the excuses are walking come on no excuse now they're all like I'm gonna do it for like another like they literally it's like
00:02:36
Speaker
28 seconds. I gotta do it for a minute. You won't. You won't chopster. Yeah. Yeah. That's so funny. You go to the gym for two months and you start being a personal trainer. I become David Goggins. Yeah. I go in there and I have a fucking opinion of everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I, I commend anybody for wanting to go. It is fucking hard because it's hard and awful. It's just showing up in the wrong shit is the funniest like first thought to have back going to the gym. I'm not gonna wear day like I'm gonna look like I work out all the time. it's like well I want people to think that, oh, this person must work out all the time. and I couldn't tell like i forget until behind his fat fucking ass. I put on Hoka shoes and i'm like I forget that I'm
Humor on Sexual Experiences and Misconceptions
00:03:20
Speaker
me.
00:03:21
Speaker
They put on Hoka shoes and people were like, that guy definitely has been here before. that's i And I want to hear that when I'm walking in. This guy, oh my God, that guy must be here before. what We should go to the gym one night and just let like the fatties walk in with the nicer shit. That's a fucking expert right there. There you go. They go in there. You'll see. And then they also have, there's a few different people at the gym. There's the phone guy. He takes a half hour to put a song on so he can walk for five minutes. I think that's me. It just starts, the treadmill's moving, so it's calculating. Oh, he's like on the other side. And he's like both feet on either side, the straddler.
00:03:56
Speaker
Just straddling the belt, and he's like, God, I was waiting for that good song to put on before I was like, shit. Well, burned 300 calories already. That's the type of guy that gets on the thing at the airport and just stands on it. Are you supposed to walk that thing? I walk that thing. Yeah, you're supposed to like speed you through the whole thing. I like walking on it. Oh, you're supposed to just stand. No, no, people stand on it. You're supposed to just walk. Fuck that i'm getting that, I'm getting that suitcase scooter. I'm gonna ride my suitcase through the airport. This looks like fun. TSA's gonna tackle me. That was going crazy. Might be a cat fight going on. Just finding a ghost or something.
00:04:33
Speaker
Your apartment's haunted, isn't it? This apartment? Yeah, didn't you say the apartment's haunted? No, I don't think this apartment's haunted. My old apartment was definitely haunted. 100% haunted. Why so? We would wake up all the time and the closet doors would be open. Who'd wake up? There'd be a fucking goblin in the house. We'd wake up, there'd be a fucking goblin in the living room. The entire apartment was below ground. So it was like two closet doors in our bedroom that would just be open in the middle of the night, and I would shut them, lock them. Oh, at the trees. Yeah. Oh, that's a spooky haunted building. It's an old, old building. And the way you had to get you've been to my old apartment, right? Yeah. You had to like walk through, like you had to like dap up the guy in the boiler room to get to like my fucking. You had to. Yeah, you had to see. Yeah, you had to see Hatman. You had to go past Hatman and all the all the monsters on the way to buy all the sleep paralysis like friends. I don't know. I don't get that vibe in here, though. And I feel like this place of anything would have kind of a scary
00:05:28
Speaker
Yeah, because you guys are both like, you and your girl are both like into witchcraft, so it's like... We're not in a witchcraft, we just like chocolates. Yeah, I forgot. you the suit of rich guys are like You guys are like spooky, but like for the food, you guys are like hungry, spooky. We're spooky, but for the street corn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For the, for the, for the pretzel shape, for the pumpkin shaped pretzels. Took a while to get that out, but I got it. I get a position where you can only talk like that. You're
Childhood, WWE, and Societal Expectations
00:05:59
Speaker
you're I'm laying the way that I think loaded fries would lay if it was a mayhem. You're laying like you're in like literally the Sistine Chapel. Yeah, yeah like part of the painting right now. Good, those guys got head. Yeah. Sistine Chapel homies got head. They're little dicks. They're little artistic dicks. They're little artistic weenies. They're little perfect mouthful of cum. Yeah, they're little weenies. bite-sized snickerdicks. Yeah, little grape-sized dicks. So hot. I need a man like that with like a little tiny penis. That will never hurt my feelings. yeah That little ass dick. That'd be so nice. I know. i need I need to date someone with a small ass dick, dude. Do you think mean guys got the big hug?
00:06:43
Speaker
i think guys I think guys definitely carry themselves differently if they have a nice piece. How do you think so? I just think i might write it down. I'm like, i just think be mysterious. i just think they I just think they fucking let things roll off their back a lot easier. think so and i think way i mean to have some i think I think they have an aura. Like what rolls off the back like I think energy they don't sweat the small stuff because they fucking be throwing it down in the bedroom Dude if I had a hog do my like someone could be like fuck you every day in the morning I'd be like, I don't care brother. I got a hug. Yeah nuclear fallout can happen. I'll be like Big dick at least i have this awesome johnson johnson what what size does it become a johnson that's a fucking that's like seven inches it's a johnson it's johnson right there yeah i got a jackson i have a jason i have a i have a howard tab yeah i literally have a justin yeah i yeah i have like a kevin
00:07:49
Speaker
I have a James. Oh, that's me. I have a James. You have a James? My penis is a total James. I'm a giant. My dick's a total James. e That's awesome. <unk>s awesome having a big dong must be fucking nice i feel like it's a blessing and a curse i don't know i feel like chicks only like you for your dong and not for like who you are yeah all the things you do for them all the nice shit you eat do for them that is true but there i definitely i've been with some people i only like them for their dong damn you only like them for their dong only like them for the dong few people put up with you know the dong delivers it yeah yeah like amazon dude same day sometimes same day
00:08:30
Speaker
Are you scared of getting pregnant though? Yes, big time. I've only been boy preggers like twice. we know I've only been boy preggers twice. I've only been- Morning sickness is a bitch. Morning sickness, yeah. It's like, definitely wasn't the eight bags of fun you guys fucking molested before that. I'm about to say Cool Ranch Flamin' Hop. Yeah, definitely wasn't the do-it-yourself mixing cool leaves. I put in a jug of milk last night. Yeah, definitely wasn't the fucking pop rocks I put in my Mountain Dew. Yeah, definitely wasn't the fucking tube of caulk I put on my toast last night.
00:09:04
Speaker
um Definitely morning. da here Is my morning sickness after getting bully pregnant? Yeah, I feel like that would be a thing that like male pregnancy tests. I've taken one dude. Just shitting on a stick. Yeah, wipe your ass and tell your fortune. Oh man, yeah. Just a mil, this is a gay pregnancy. Boy Praggers is pretty nasty. Getting boy pregnant? Yeah. Yeah, just makes your turd slimy. Yeah, just yeah. Just getting bloody show. Getting cream pie.
00:09:36
Speaker
I feel like you have to go like right away, right after. Yeah. Yeah. You don't keep it in. It's not like
Explicit Humor and Personal Anecdotes
00:09:43
Speaker
hitting a blunt in seventh grade. I mean, with a lady like they don't, they don't, I mean, they can for like a second, then they got to run. I gotta go. I gotta go far. Yeah. He shoots a pistol to get her to run like a track. Yeah. But how long is like, what's the, like afterwards, like what's your, You're like, well that was great. I'll be right back. Or is it like do you hop out of bed? No, it's like it's like well now it's like we'll finish up and Like I'll like he'll either bring me something I'll bring you something. He'll bring me something like a be like a BLT fucking like a BLT Like something like a BLT and like a Sarat Yeah, bringing a BLT with a cigarette sticking out of it. Yeah. Like a toothpick? Yeah, a cigarette and a BLT and then, no, like a towel, like. Okay. To wipe your ass? Yeah. Yeah. Cause well, cause sometimes I'll just, I'll just let the, we'll let it out onto the towel, you know, rather than have to run to the bathroom.
00:10:43
Speaker
farted out fart farted out of the town how the farts rip really funny really funny because I'm like really flexible right so I'll just like I'll just like squat down like an Asian guy and I'll fucking like I'll just like fart one out fuck yeah I'll far i' lay a cursed egg dude yeah I'll push out a Cadbury right yeah right right on the hotel bedspread no one likes dark blue carpet anyway no everyone hates it What do they say? Like, during that they're like, fuck. oh now There has to be an awkward life. Sometimes they'll just eat it. Out of the butt? Out of my ass, yeah. Their own their own their own brand. Their own brand. Yeah. How's it taste? That's terrible. That's terrible. Especially when they want to share it with you. Yeah, that's butt flavored dude. Cold, cold rectum hollywood cold rectum come. Cold come. Cold flavored meat. And the worst part is like, the worst part is like after it happens you go home and you smoke a blood with your boy TJ. That's the worst. Immediately after. Immediately after. You spit brush in your teeth. Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'll roll it.
00:11:47
Speaker
yeah ah yeah we get a little i got i got I got an adhesive down here. all right all over it adhesive So what you you've gotten off the bed and then squatted on the carpet and just pushed it out. yeah Has a log ever followed up? dude i have yes Drop the log when I was like when I was like learning how to be gay like when I was when I was doing less than you're in gay school you know Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah um Taking private lessons. I yeah there was a couple times when I got duty on the PB
00:12:22
Speaker
I'm saying like do now. I'm not duty on the people duty on a flow. No do do on the floor now Do do you know do do on the floor? um Are you not eating before or something? What's the oh? Yeah, so like I'll know I mean i'll I'll fucking I'll douche I'll fucking I'll take it like a nice long shower like I'll do this dude's I'll do Yeah, dude, oosh It's a fucking oosh um and you just like just kind of like shoot water up there and yeah clean it out man because like you know you don't need that much room you know i'm not i'm not i'm not getting with these like monsters yeah you know but you've never had like like what is the dookie what is dookie on the dick how do you like you how do you handle that sorry uh sorry and no oh sorry about the poop
00:13:15
Speaker
Sorry about that. So usually they'll say nothing, right?
Relationships and Dating Dynamics
00:13:18
Speaker
But there was one time I was like, it we were doing it and we were like doing it, doing it. And then like we were like towards the end of it and then I got a whiff of it. It came up front. And if you could smell it, he if you could smell your own stink, if you could smell your own stink, everybody smells it. Yeah. Everybody smells it. So I got a whiff of it and I'm like, Oh no. And we just powered through it. Oh, like the other guy was into it? He's like, fuck yeah. No, I wouldn't say he was into it, but we were like, we were like right there. We were like at the end, and like then I caught the whiff of it, so I'm like wondering like, oh, like. Is he fucking poop? Oh. Is he fucking poop? It wasn't a lot though, it was just like. Bro, like, oh my god, you're crazy, bro. Oh, you're crazy, what? You're crazy crazy creamy right now. Oh my god, you're dumb creamy right now. Oh my god, you're dumb creamy right now. I only fuck guys that are like, Jesus shit, you're so corny right now. Holy shit. Fuck. Those kernels are for him, for his pleasure. Oh my god, did you eat cashews? Fucking ribbed with cashews. Fuck shit. Rocky Road. I've always wanted to fuck shit. Fuck shit. It's Rocky Road.
00:14:36
Speaker
Do you have Carvel ice cream cake gravel in your fucking ass right now? Yeah. Your ass was like ice cream cake. Yeah. Yeah. No, I fucking, I, uh, no, I wish I had a fucking grocery story report. I've never shot, like I've never, I've never shat to come out onto the floor. Like I'll, I'll like, holy, it give me a towel and I'll like deal with it in the bed. I haven't like gotten out of bed, squatted on the floor and done that. That's like psychotic. I've seen like like because I feel like like I'm also like not into like getting my face came on I feel like that would fucking just just like sucks. I've done it
00:15:16
Speaker
Makes me feel like a crumb. I've done it twice and she was like, it was like in the shower. Yeah. So it was like kind of like, all right. I don't like doing it either. But still at the same time, it's like, yeah, it's like, I like doing it. Are you kidding me? Yeah. It's like, and I'm always scared. Like, what did you, what did you break out afterwards or something? Like, Oh, so happy. So funny. He's so funny. Sorry, but that's it like because I feel like it's just basically kind of like get like snot rocking on like yeah It's like it just feels gross fuck Superfeels also we talk what she's on the face getting no doing it
00:15:54
Speaker
Oh, yeah Getting it doesn't rule. I don't feel doing it is the coolest. It feels pretty cool to do it I will say power thing. I will say this the times that I've let it happen to me. Um, they were extremely nice to me afterwards Really? Yeah. Yeah, it was like BLT cigarette yeah usually brings you like a BLT
00:16:21
Speaker
Right before you guys get in before you guys get into Marital's he's like you up a BLT for you So it's ready to go by the time. Oh, yeah. Oh, baby a Really good a really good BLT after a piping forget about it I feel like like on top of that too. It's like are you walking around like sore? No, not really I'm not fucking these huge ass dicks, dude But still, I mean- I was with one guy that had like an almost 10 inch piece and that was like too much. Because he was like titty fucking your like kidneys, right? He was like all- yeah, he was all over my shit like- He's like titty fucking his lungs, dude. That's crazy. But he was hot and jacked, so I dealt with it. So you dealt with it? So I dealt with it.
00:17:06
Speaker
um All right listeners, so that's how it goes that's yeah being gay is fucking so dumb. It's so dumb Sex of Generals like it is hilarious. It is hilarious that just like people just that's how we're born so and yeah spend anybody more like At least I don't know at least from my standpoint it's been like by about 80% of the day thinking about sex Yeah. And then like 20% of the day, like if I don't have sex, I kind of just like write it off for the day. yeah The only reason I want to do anything is to eventually I'll fuck. yeah It's just whatever kind of like whatever makes that real. Why do I want to have a a nice house up to fuck in? Yeah. Why do I want to you know what I mean? Like, why do I want to have money to do cool stuff after I after i do what I fuck?
00:17:48
Speaker
I want to do cool stuff on the way to the fuck. and I want everything to end in like a cool vo start. Yeah. Like, like start you ever start the day with a fuck? Yeah. Starting the day with a fox. Nice. Yeah. Cause you're like the hunt's over. I actually could fucking let my belly hang. I can take my fuck. Yeah. I can take my waist trainer off. ah you know You know, try putting out in the morning is tough for a guy. I'll say that much. I can imagine. I'm like,
00:18:21
Speaker
I haven't even like mouthwash my honey hole. Do you mouthwash it? Yeah, I scope it. Oh, really? Yeah. Yes. Wait, what do you want him to go kiss or fucking suck on a fucking asshole? Doesn't that burn? No. Are you kidding? I imagine a pipe might feel like clean. That's probably the cleanest your B you'll ever be. Oh dude, I have a fucking alcohol. I have a straight guy's butthole. What I the have heck? Like it's got a straight guy's butthole. pizza in there. think pi that da p do my as I'm not one of these like quinoa faggots. Like I eat beer nachos like yeah yeah yeah nacho beers. Yeah. Like I have like nachos flavored rifle. He eats like nacho flavored machine, barbecue, Eagle wing, like barbecue, gun, lemon, pepper, Mac, that yeah slice of pizza back there.
00:19:14
Speaker
Yeah, I did the thing the other day right away properly, and I know I haven't done that in years Oh, no see it's stingy, but and my bow was stinging oh, and I like was at work And I was doing that thing rose like kind of using my butt cheeks to scratch my ass wow But it's like to anyone else. I just
Gym Stereotypes and Personal Insecurities
00:19:31
Speaker
look like a like like a dog hoping Like I was thrusting Yeah, and then I cut one of the I had like a greasy ass And I cut I cut one of those like sharp farts yeah, it's all so good And then when I went to the bathroom to wipe the entire paper
00:19:48
Speaker
Tyrol Tyrol and it was like a yellow. Oh ah that's the word It was like like it was you have like straight up like it was rude in there rude in the skin. change I basically handed my ass yeah ah so bad I hate when I and that only only resets a pool shower ocean. That's it. Oh, yeah. No wiping gotta be baptized for that You do have to get in the chlorine and let the fucking chemicals eat that Not scrubbing bubbles go in and spread cheek in front of a jet a good jet in the pool. Oh my god Our pool up here. There's a there's a quite a few characters, but down syndrome in there. Oh, really? Yeah, there's a little bit of turd yet. I haven't heard a third yet but they get after it. Yeah, they do. They see baby girl and they go underwater for a long time. They fucking drown. They fucking just drown. Yeah, they show their endurance. They see her and they go, they're looking at her like, check this out. And then they go underwater and come up and then they go straight back down. She's like, Ooh.
00:20:59
Speaker
Like, I'll do it every day for you, baby. Damn, since you're doing sweet-talking, your girl at the pool is so funny. What do you do? Because what do you do? I don't know. Fucking take a sword and chop their hammer off. Like, trying to decapitate a hydra, dude. Big dummy hammer? I'm gonna face their dick like an Elden Ring boss.
00:21:21
Speaker
Yeah. Keeps on growing back. Big dummy head? Yeah. They do have hammers, they're blessed. They're blessed that way. They're blessed with hammers. They should do porn. Do you think they should? Yeah. I think they should too. I'm glad we could agree on something. If I, if I, land that's what we agree on. If I have a kid, like God forbid I ever have a kid that downs.
00:21:50
Speaker
yeah This is what this country needs. like i god We're going to heal this nation. We're doing it right now. We're literally healing the nation right now. This podcast rules. Fuck you. if God forbid I had a kid with Down syndrome, like a son. um I'm taking him to a prostitute. I'm taking him underwater. I'm taking him to the strip club, taking him to the prostitute. I'm taking him to the deepest part of Wildwood. Vegas trip with the boy. Vegas trip. But i'm seriously, I'm going to pay for him to get his dick sucked regularly. Oh, yeah. Most definitely. I'm gonna tip her and be like look like you seem like you got strong arms like Take the extra like even if like I'm just letting you know he might like mush your head like a might most like you ah He might mush your head like a White Castle burger. Oh, yeah steamed Fucking get White Castle burger. Well, like please take care of my boy
00:22:39
Speaker
I feel like that might be dangerous. They deserve it. They deserve
Discipline, Upbringing, and Generational Differences
00:22:41
Speaker
to, they deserve to meet prostitutes. They deserve to be sucked and fucked. I feel like they have that right. Yeah. I mean, they do. They do suck and fuck. They do suck and fuck. That's always been the urban legend though. I don't know how. Are they good at- The person who told me- They have the wettest mouths. They have the wettest mouths. Fat tones. I bet they eat the craziest pussy. Fat tones. Huge tones. Like tree trunks. Huge thick tongues. Huge thick tongue. They got fat Arizona always teed eggs. 99 cent cans, dude. 99 cent dummy pee pee. Talked up in that fucking WWE underwear. Sneaky fucking basketball shorts. Fucking fucking Wario t-shirt. Hammer. Covered in loads. Yeah. That's big dick energy. Having your shirt tucked in your hair coming over to the side. Oh, Nellie. Because they always have a super hot mom. Oh, yeah. They always have the hottest mom ever. Ballistically hot mom. You know what I mean? Yeah, because she's taking care of her little miracle.
00:23:38
Speaker
She's going to comb his hair and make him look like the handsome little businessman that he is. Knowing he's got a fucking shovel down there. Knowing he's got an absolute grave dagger in his undies. Knowing he's know got a cowboy boot in his pants. Oh, I love that. Absolute hoagie for a dick. Oh, man. I saw, dude, there was a retarded guy that we grew up with, and my brother and I grew up with, and hu fucking, he got, okay, so. fucking they believe my mom like made us hang out with them. And it was this fucking retarded kid. And like we got an above ground pool one time one summer. We had it for three days. But the first day we got it for three days, we had it for three days. Then it got slashed like ninety five. I got stabbed. Ninety five nine thousand cuts by a thousand. Lizzie Borden killed my above ground. Literally gave a 40 whack. Jack Nicholson from The Shining Show. Yeah. So um this fucking retarded guy, they made us fucking hang out with him. And like I didn't care. But like what I did care about is that he would constantly walk around with a toothbrush in his mouth. The toothbrush was always covered in food. Ew. So like they're making him they're making us let him in the pool. ah And like he's getting ready to get in the pool. We get naked to get in the pool with toothbrush hammer.
00:24:56
Speaker
Most idiotic hammer I've seen in person. Beautiful cock. On the dumbest life form I've ever met in my life. It's a waste. It's a waste. I wanted to fucking chop it off and keep it cold, use it on myself, fucking put it on. That's why like if my son, it'd be like your son's retarded, like at least I know he's going to have a hammer bigger than his dad's. Yeah. Yeah my kid, I hope my dumb fucking kid has a big heavy hammer. I hope my kid has a big fucking stupid ass dick. Stupid stupid dick. Big stupid but dick. Big stupid dick. Stinking the high hammer. I hope it gets him in all kinds of trouble too. Yeah same. Except for like getting a girl pregnant and making me a granddad when I'm like 30. Oh now it's the worst.
00:25:38
Speaker
i yeah There's a there's a kid at the fucking pool of here who's got he wears like silver No, no, no no like you my kid he's like a 30 year old like but doesn She's got a fucking absolute those are fellows. He's got an absolute fucking just so mar on those are yeah dad Guys in a group those are just good fellows literally pals They're literally the nicest guys on the board. They're the sweetest. They're gents. They're the sweetest but they are horny. Yeah, you wouldn't you if you wouldn't you if you had a sledgehammer in your pants? Wouldn't you want everyone to see it? Yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah. I go to like great lengths to have people I'm fucking not see my dick. I look like a woman sometimes.
00:26:25
Speaker
okay woman my dick i think is's like phom of the opera right Dude I just like I just like shave to like add more dick and now I just added more bagel like i i add all bagel dude i literally all fucking ba yeah but I'm like, can I not? yeah yeah Can I like not ever? i've good I've got a Thomas bagel and where's the dick? Where the fuck's your dick? Where the fuck is it? The fuck's your dick? I hate that my dick looks like the peanut butter cookie with the kiss. I hate I hate that about my life. I swear it was here a second ago. My shit looks like a hairy scallop. I'll say this i say this, there is love in my heart eternally for every person that has sucked my cock.
00:27:14
Speaker
Oh, yeah, most definitely. There is love in my heart for them, too. this I don't care how badly you wronged me. There's a special place in heaven for them. I don't care. I don't give a fuck. You have a pass to heaven. Bro, because I've seen my fucking Johnson. I think I've seen it. I've seen my Johnson. Yeah. Like this thing is not like I'm not putting my mouth on it. I'll say that much. Yeah. I've had like. like I remember the first time my Johnson was like looked at like I kind of do that thing where I looked like like I looked anywhere but the person oh the first time I had i finally pulled out like I was like I'm gonna look I don't see you look at it
00:27:57
Speaker
sure
00:28:01
Speaker
have his how are they because there's no possibility on earth that all this time they're gonna see it they're gonna be like wow it's huge you like yes heck yeah heck yeah she's blind yeah she's retarded she's mentally retarded yeah it's kind of like We had a good time before, right? We had a good time before. Nice. Now you got it. You're still growing. It's a grower. You're 23. It's a grower. Fuck. It's a grower. Guess what? It's not showing. Yeah, it's a grower and it's going to grow into something bigger than that. It's growing. It kind of grows like the way a tumor does. It's grown-ish.
00:28:48
Speaker
Yeah, I have a pee pee. If there was one thing I could change about myself a hundred percent pee pee, it'd be like first thing you'd be like Yeah, I'd like to alter this pee pee. Yes, pee pe pee. I wouldn't care what fucking, I literally- I wish my pee pee was smaller, you know what I mean? you wish
Dating Dynamics and Societal Norms
00:29:03
Speaker
it was smaller yeah really yeah cuz then I could just like never have to like ever have to fuck anyone you know what I mean ah yeah I know what a horrible thing to have to do i just you just yeah you mean it just be a lady you should be a lady just be a lady from here on out yeah
00:29:20
Speaker
You know just rip it off. I've got yeah. I mean everyone knows I have this like 9 inch black tongue. Everybody knows I'm a hunk like a fucking wizard. do Yeah, no, I have. I have yeah i like my other peanut butter. I give I'm a little harder on myself. than Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's let's backtrack on our wieners. I think he's not bad. Honestly, honestly, no, he's got a lot of potential. It's like he's got a lot of potential. It's kind of like like like right church wrong pew. Yeah, I think he needs he needs some more guidance. Like the like I just yeah, I just need to date guys with smaller assholes. How about that? It's these big assholes that are fucking my life. up i sorry yeah all dig I think I just need to start fucking cats and dogs. I think I think my problem is the same update these guys with these giant fucking hiney holes. yeah These massive, tall asses. Yeah, tunnels. Tunnel butts. These Lincoln's Tunnel-butted homos. Tunnel-butted queens. No, I'm not small. You're a Tunnel-butted homo. um It's like throwing a Vienna sausage down a hallway.
00:30:26
Speaker
and I will say, when I lost a little bit of weight, I did. Get more hug? Yeah, of course I did. there it the You have all of the hug you'll ever have on you right now. it just report Your level of fitness will do give you different options to display. I spent one night at like 3am. I couldn't sleep. I had to be working like three hours. I literally looked up like morbidly obese, huge dick. Just to see one of those fellows out there, just like... There's a ton of them. Like a big dick fat guy. There's a ton of them. Chicks don't think they exist at all. I'm fucking... They exist, brother. Monsters? Monsters. Monsters do exist. Monsters do exist. There's a realized monster. Monsters do exist. Yeah. Monster under my bed. Yeah. There's a monster under my bitch.
00:31:15
Speaker
ah Yeah, dude, we're talking about dicks and hogs and holes. Yeah, man. It is funny, like being drunk definitely fucking makes that bridge. It definitely smooths that bridge over the popping out your piece or you care what it looks like. Oh, that little piece. Pop a couple drinks to a couple margaritas. All of a sudden they're like, I'm like, yeah, like 30, like killing this thing. I'm like, I'm like two handles of laddie. It's like no. Rufy, nothing. Yeah, if somebody likes sucking your dick, they're an angel from heaven. Yeah. If they like enthusiasm. I think it's better than fucking. I mean, you get a really good fucking head. Yeah. Yeah. Enthusiastic head. and i i Yeah. Before I've been in a position where I'm like, this is better. This is bad. Like, I don't want this to end. I want to just keep this going. Like shake, like, yeah, like, like shaky leg, Madden head. Like, what the fuck? Fuck.
00:32:10
Speaker
Mortal Kombat Armageddon head. Yeah, Mortal Kombat Shaolin Monks head. We're just naming our favorite video games, putting head behind it. Head. Yeah. Cheesesteak, Egg Roll head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. a Long walk on the beach had to be in summer and all day literally Yeah, oh the best times to get head. It's like oh man like i what's the worst place to get head? Outside where though like give me anywhere for me. I've had my dick stuck in the woods. It was phenomenal and I did not there's ladybugs everywhere there was lady but it was literally you wish i kept thinking it and this i'm like This is our city like this is like what I think
00:32:49
Speaker
I don't believe I was thinking that in my head as there was our black god or or Yeah, that was great yeah head is pretty phenomenal. Where's the worst place to get it though? Probably to us jail. I'd say a boss boss. Yeah Boss head. Yeah, Chuckie cheese. No, it's probably rules. Honestly. Yeah pizza um so ski ball ski Yeah ski ball prove's The best place to get head That's good. My bad. Yeah, like ben my way the better I like laying down. I like someone else's bad. I like in the chair. Oh No, I don't have the best stick in a chair
00:33:34
Speaker
I have good chair. I have pug dick chair. I have good chair dick. I have good chair dick. I have chair pug dick. Is it pug chair dick or dick pug chair? I have a good edge of the chair, dick. Oh, yeah. Sitting like this. Why do you think I sit on the edge of everything, dude? I probably have this prominent hug on me. I have a better chance of getting fingered sitting like this. Oh, yeah.
00:34:01
Speaker
Yeah, one of them. Oh, no. I need to be on the edge. ah yeah I to be. like, When I was like, seventeen so tied against the edges when I was like I was like Googling. I was like, if I cut my food off, will I like survive that? Why i bleed out if I shake my food? Medically survived cutting my poop off. Yeah as if it wouldn't leave like a mommy's car recommended potato peelers for Yeah, yeah foopop I literally remember being like 15 and like googling like like I remember like reading up on like dick like like dick enlargement like surgeries I'm like yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're i'm like. Where's it? Where are we out with it? I'm like? Let
Generational Humor and Unique Experiences
00:34:48
Speaker
me start the web um before I freak out let me start the web I
00:34:52
Speaker
im like and it's like i'm like it's coming a long nice I was looking up that shit when I was like 10, so I was watching porn when I was like 6. Are you kidding me? By the time I was 10, I was freaking out about my cock. Whoa. was I was like- This thing needs an elbow- I was supposed to have an elbow on it by now. When does the skin darken on the thing? I'm supposed to have a toenail on the edge by now. Yeah, what the fuck? I'm trying to get like a chapped fucking elbow on this thing. Yeah. What is like did they advance on like penal surgery? Are they able to do I remember like they come behind on the side. Yeah. Well, here's the thing so I I looked into it um remember remember last time i check it was i had like fast my Last time I checked which was like Tuesday is um
00:35:37
Speaker
the There's a surgery where they put like now like your pop-up got something to stay hard. Yeah the inflatables They have something like that for your dick. Really? But here's the problem though is like your body can reject it and when it rejects it it literally says We'll turn black and fall off. Oh my gosh. I wish it would turn black and fucking hop up yeah like bo is that all turn black and get longer Why do they call you og frostbite? Yeah, I want to know They call me chud bone. Yeah chud bone. og chud bone right now I just got fat like a tuna can mm-hmm instead yeah like a blizzard neck pops out flat
00:36:19
Speaker
what Wide he's got a big one Boogie's got a big one. He's got a big age in one dude boogie has a big for my country. Yeah TJ, ever look up the average, like, cock size for Korean guys? I think it's like four inches or something like that. Nice, nice, nice. Is it really? Yeah, something like that. Progress. Represent. Represent, dude. I'm like, I'm up. I think the smallest dicks in the world are Native Americans. Are they really? Oh, that's why they drink so much. Oh, shit. I think it's it's literally because they so gamble it all the way and they drink. Boogie, no. Don't play with the sound board. He'll lay down on the chair. Alrighty. I'll literally throw him one camera. Just kidding. I'm boogieing.
00:37:03
Speaker
are you got topics but topic topics you will hold all year by the season I feel like the way you're laying, i like it looks like you're laying on like the very edge of the couch. I'm not. I'm deep in
Nostalgia and WWE Reflections
00:37:15
Speaker
the couch. You're deep right now? No, I'm not deep. You're laying in head position. like My cat's going to suck his dick. You ever dropped a leg on someone's head? I saw it in a porn, I did it in real life. I did it once, I wasn't a fan. I saw it in a porn and then did it in real life and I got yelled at. Stop. What the fuck is that? What the fuck is that for? I was trying, I was trying something. Yeah, I've seen those UFC- What the fuck are you doing? I was trying something. I was trying something. Have you seen those UFC fight movies? I was trying something. Yeah, I watched wrestling show, they were also trying to make each other come. Saw I saw one it's more competitive I saw this chick much of a squash match. It's two guys you guys use this Hammer fist pound and pound
00:38:03
Speaker
I saw a guy and a girl do it and I watched it. I was like, this is holy. Oh, hey, this is fucking weird. Oh, this is wow. Yeah, I don't really flow. I don't really hear season shit that you're like, I would this one interest me. But then you're like, get a weird awakening. Yeah. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. I didn't know I like that. I'm like, it was that disgusting step that he's like fucking like, Yeah, he's like 90, but he's got a PC. He's got a young slice. Yeah, he's got a young slice Blue pill man. I've seen I'll see them Click that I saw this fucking hot watch anything. I saw hot-ass points are fucking I love I watch the dude. I watch a dude fucking chick like with a walker like he had her up on the walker I
00:38:53
Speaker
I saw a video of this porn star. She's new to the scene, I think.
Cultural References and Societal Humor
00:38:59
Speaker
She's got gang bang. She has that new horse smell. She gang bang like 10 Joe Biden's. I literally fucking was like, this is actually, it's my dream. Like, whoa. Damn. Those old guys are like, what the hell is that? Smells so nice. Yeah. They always grab their tits in a way. The old guys grab their tits in a weird way. They grab them weird. They touch them weird. They touch them weird. They grab them like boob. That's because they're trying to feel her up. Yeah, they feel her up. They grab a boob like that. I'm like, why are you grabbing a boob like that? They fucking feel them up weird. They grab it their way like a little kid would pick something up out of the sand. Yeah. Like finger to palm. Yeah.
00:39:42
Speaker
Yeah, it is weird. It is weird. That's so funny. That's what we're observing. That's what we're noticing. That's the fact that we're watching old men fuck young war. That doesn't matter. It's the way that they grab their tit as the focal point. Because it's fine. It's super fun. I'm usually watching it with a like with a like half a cold turd hanging out of my ass on the toilet. I procrastinated wiping for an hour now. My knees feel like ginger ale. I've already came. You've got a fucking cold lava cake sticking out of your backside. I have a devil dog hanging out of my house. But no, I like, i I watched this one where she like gangbangs and like...
00:40:28
Speaker
a Couple like a couple old guys had like like little birds like little pistachios And they were like in and out and there'd be like an old guy with a fucking cheese house yeah beast house. absolute freak I don't know why I kind of like I kind of liked it. I was like, this is kind of fucking it's taboo. It's it's sexy It shouldn't happen. It should never happen. Oh, oh, hey whoa Get down get down boy that day. No, he's being bags. He knows the cameras on him. Oh Yeah, he's yeah.
00:41:03
Speaker
Sometimes you gotta shake shit out. I'm doing a cow. It will reset a cat a trash bag. ah ah He ah acts up. but I have a trash bag out here. Oh my God. Good Lord. You better fucking believe it. If I grab a fucking pink trash bag out of the kitchen right now, he'll literally go hide. ah That's my nemesis. Me too. You want trash bag? You want trash bag? Yeah, you want trash bag? Don't leave me bringing up the trash bag. I gotta stop. My daddy used
Nostalgia and Parenting Reflections
00:41:29
Speaker
to ask me that. You want trash bag? You want me to get the trash bag? Yeah. Did your parents ever go, do you want me, you want me to get this? You're like, yeah, like what is that? Extension cord.
00:41:37
Speaker
You got extension cord. I got extension cord. My parents use ECW weapons, dude. Your dad was literally Tommy Dreamer. My mom was Raven. Your mom's Raven. No, your mom was New Jack. She was Bam Bam. My parents definitely had ECW like parenting. I got ECW parented. My dad fucking cracked me like twice in my life. And he felt bad about it. and My mom was a slapper. My mom would slap you in the fucking mouth. She would go further. She would swing at you and you'd stop her hand. And she'd be like, oh, let me go. And you let her go and she'd fucking bat you across the mouth. And you're like, I'll never fucking trust you again. of My dad would hit me and make me say sorry. Are you really? Yeah. We're gonna hit you on your butt. Yeah. He would do like the legs with the stick.
00:42:29
Speaker
Oh yeah, that is Korean. Asians, that's... They love the stick. They love a stick. The stick will get you. They would get you. And the best is like, you weren't even like misbehaving. You're like always a good kid and that's the funniest part. He probably didn't wipe the steam off the fucking mirror after that. Yeah, yeah, there's yeah, they're like... she's right no Tj like Tj's like eight years old. He like didn't balance the checkbook getting fuck get swack back of his leg What kind of stick ah wine Stick it it it always been he me have walked out of the parking lot grab the fucking stick a wild stick a fucking hammer for the hill good be Hit my fucking kids with You know what? I'll probably hit the fuck out of my kid with this thing
00:43:14
Speaker
Yeah, you got the test. I'm gonna bring this inside and fucking hit my son Yeah, ooh, babe. That's a good stick bring that in bring that in I'll whoop the shit out of them bring it bring it in him and I'll be the fuck out of that fuck we made That's a discipline how hard uh pretty hard yeah Honestly, like pretty hard to be honest. What was an offense? An offense? I would like fuck around at church and like get in trouble. Oh, so it was after church. Yeah, I was like, oh, God. Oh, my God. Anticipating it like in the heat of the moment's one thing, but like preparing to get going. Yeah. But if your parents are like, when you get home, I'm going to go and fucking get high. I'm going to find a fucking stick. and you're gonna stand there I'm gonna fucking whack it dude fuck the anticipation it was the build up dude that's like a jesus guys that' a mental prison oh my god no wonder you're so nice oh my god yeah so like i did fuck around though so on the way that on the way I was like literally answers like oh
00:44:14
Speaker
oh fuck youle and fuck fake yeah you don fuck a whitepe it how fuck is my tea she not white So what you dab with you dab like we dab like you and go like I want to know what fucking around at church is oh, I think we're like ah Practicing for like a like Christmas like play or something and then I was like I'm not doing this I won
00:44:41
Speaker
So I'm not playing baby Jesus. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. So I was just like, I don't even know who Murr is. so So I was just like goofing off and then like the teacher got mad at me and then the my teacher told my Sunday School teacher told my dad and then my dad was like I wait till we get home and we How far away is church from There's like 10-15 minutes. That's enough time to take a breath and be like I'm not gonna fucking hit him with a stick. Yeah Damn, dude. Well, I think I was fucking around too much cause i gotta be trouble yeah Yeah, yeah Were you like doing were you like no no no Now the fucking sucking of fart makes sense. now you a a fort is like Now that you ate a fart, it doesn't seem so far fetched now. He was like, it's hard for your snack. Oh, TJ's dad. like so what like You can either take the stick or take my fart. What's the stick look like? Sometimes it was like ah it could be like Umbrella, or it could be like Flyswatter, or it could be like Backscratchers, like using that.
00:45:47
Speaker
oh He just anything that was long a backscratcher backscratchers like a fucking kendo I hear the backscratcher. It's got some flex to it. I've had some good ones I had an extension cord was definitely like like definitely like my leg
Cultural Upbringing and Discipline
00:46:02
Speaker
Match like like it's like it's like dusty roads in the bell cow. Yeah, like that's my height leg I believe at the dog the dog collar my head the chain match. I had the extension cord match Fucking your parents had entrance music to come beat your fucking ass. Yeah, they did dude. Your parents really have like fucking cactus jack song before they can't beat the fucking shit out of you. Curtain rod. Curtain rod. Oh a curtain rod. Curtain rod. You'd hear it. I'm like yeah
00:46:29
Speaker
My legs would start to hurt before I would like he see them. Sometimes I gotta to do like a ah would hold like a box and I'd have to stare at the wall and i just hold the box up. And then if I like brought it down and be like, really? Yeah. Holy fuck. that Is that when you get hit? No, he wouldn't hit me, but like he would be like, keep that box up. Really? yeah you know like You know how like people like ah they would like look into the corner and wear like a dunce cap? Instead of a dunce cap, I would hold ah hold a heavy-ass box. were like
00:47:01
Speaker
Can you guys hear me through the mic? Yeah. Yeah. That's fucking crazy. Korean culture is very, like, disciplined on the kids. Well, yeah, that's why they don't do fucking drugs. Look at his foot going. He's fucking triggered, right? Holy fuck. TJ's foot's about to vibrate. Yeah. He passed out. Somebody get him a Kylie. Somebody get him a Kylie. Wake him up with a Kylie Kelsey. He didn't even fucking Kylie. He's like... Like... But he would be like, hold this box up. Yeah. For how long? It wasn't maybe, like, 10 minutes. Fuck you you fucking curly-haired Fuckin fruitcake, but like for as a kid like that shit it was like it was hurting. Yeah, of course it was like oh i don't want forty time At the same time you're not a fucking dope head and you're not a fucking criminal. I mean I smoke weed from time to time <unk> some matter this and i like you spoke for time time You smoke weed
00:47:54
Speaker
Am I not supposed to? No. oh I'm sorry, Jesus. We should get a live cast where your dad beats the fuck out of your camera. do the head for the paint so So like, so he was like, wait till we get home. Is he saying that in Korean? What does that sound like in Korean? Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. do Uh, ah It's like what is it wait till we get home wait till we get home. It's like you learn later. I Don't know like the word for word translation, but I'm gonna like probably put your it cuz my Korean's not the best That's okay sorry were We're fucking gonna believe you I don't know Korean to me fast one Like she got she
00:48:42
Speaker
she be cut you cop there kiddo She big be big. I
Cultural Humor and Societal Norms
00:48:49
Speaker
fucking run for my life i i guess what? I'm going the fucking cops. I'm saying the way families scream rape. I'm fucking rape thousand times. I would scream rape until my throat was wrong. That was the last time you think your dad fucking got big with you got big with me. You just like to let me lay his hands on you two weeks ago. oh Gosh, mom maybe like I'm like middle school ish. Yeah. Oh, thank God. Yeah, i thought it was sort like you started wrestling you got kind of big
00:49:16
Speaker
you i whatpe your fucking dad answer he Well at that point it was more like he would he would discipline me by doing like ah physical labor Like he would that was just good. that I guess a teacher responsibility Yeah, I'd be like if you're gonna fuck up like I'm gonna make you do like a hundred push-ups. I'm like And like I couldn't go to sleep until it did like your dad yeah um but Is your dad a big Asian? I mean When he was younger, yeah. He was jacked? Yeah. Cause he would do like powerlifting and like he would do like- Oh fuck. Power-rifting? Power-rifting? A-rimping-rifting. I'm like- He's a-rimp-ian? He's like, yes, he was actually a ninja. Yeah, he's pretty tough, honestly. He was actually a union ninja. Yeah, yeah. His career. I thought being a ninja was a career when I was a kid. Same, I thought it was all the list. You're like, what do you want to be when you grow up? I'm like- Doctor, lawyer, ninja. Ninja.
00:50:12
Speaker
My life sucks, I'm gonna be a fucking ninja dude. What do you mean you don't have those in America? Do ninjas exist today? I think so. What is the job description? You sneaky as fuck. I saw TJ sneak into the bathroom. He's a ninja I think he's a podcast ninja no I saw this a short of this ah old-ass Japanese dude I think he was like in his mid 60s and he would go out in like a whole ninja outfit Climbing shit in Japan and like just stealing shit. I beat the fuck out
00:50:46
Speaker
No, but he wouldn't get caught like he didn't get caught until like his like mid 70s He's been doing it for like a decade almost. Yeah, he's a ninja's ninja faces the hardest fucking right as like those eyes could be anybody DJ give us some of these topics my king One thing I really wanted to talk about Did you hear about the hag maxing? h What's that? So apparently like and Gen Z... HAG MAXING? Apparently Gen Z ah males are like going after like old millennials and like like calling them hags but like...
00:51:27
Speaker
i'm starting tomorrow i learned first thing fuck you had hang you had but like They're like endearing about it like they like they want to like date these hags, right? So they're level of they're dating these like well-to-do millennial hags yeah and they're like leveling up these like broke-ass like trying to find sugar mamas Thanks is so fucking funny Japan they to be ten to be a woman who knows how to do it in Japan They they find like an old like japanese Japanese lady that has money. Oh and their arm candy. Oh, yeah
Cultural Observations and Relationship Humor
00:52:03
Speaker
i Like I think I think it actually started with like ah like V V streamers like like anime streamers that do face Yeah, and like apparently a lot of them are like in there like mid to like late 30s Yeah, so and they're hag maxing. Yeah, and like the the like the watchers like the people who watch the streams are like, oh dude i would fucking i'm going I was gonna say I'm literally calling people hags tomorrow The hag love that I guess sexy old hag and old hag Yeah, like they're they're doing it like very endearing way like they're like it's not like there's like some of them It's kind of hag-maxing is so funny some some of the term is very funny i know that's why like ag maing gosh You sexy old egg My 30s, I love you How's it feel to be over the hill you pig? I love you. I love you so much old bitch
00:52:57
Speaker
Suck my young dick, you old pig. Suck my young dick, you old fucking piglet. if Buy me Jordan's cow. Buy me Jordan's whale. Fucking whale I'll try that tomorrow. Yeah, you should try to hag max. I'm hagma i think i be awesome be a hag right now is just dating an older person now. It's getting money from an older person No, I think it's just dating an older person who is getting into that whole genre like young like I guess Teens to early 20s like Jen's years eight Dating like they're like these people men in this generation are clearly not it
00:53:34
Speaker
Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, well that's me, I guess. It is way sicker when the fucking fellas need an older chick, though. Yes, yep. Because it's like you're literally just trying to get both, so that's all. You're getting that old stuff and you're getting your bills paid. Yeah, maybe nice. Old stuff. You're getting that old stuff. And the old people are getting that young stuff. I don't think it's old stuff. I think it's more like experienced. They're like, I need a real adult. yeah stuff with The stuff I'm doing is old, I think. I think it's classified as old, old stuff. all it's Old stuff. Is it old stuff? Old stuff. it Dusty. It's not ancient, though. Old stuff. It's 40. No, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's not that old. It's old, but it's an ancient. Yeah, 40 is old, but it's it's not. I think it's I think it's just you've always wanted to be Anna Nicole Smith. I think that's i think you just want to be Anna Nicole Smith.
00:54:20
Speaker
You money-grubbing whore. I love him. I love him. He's so awful. I'm obsessed. I love him. It's like literally my life. so What else you got there? Teach here we go
WWE Retirements and Wrestling Legacies
00:54:35
Speaker
great soldiers. John Cena's retirement from WWE. Thank you for your service. Yeah, he is rolling one more year. Do I want him like is this actually him like leaving or is it just like he's done. He's pretending and he's done. He's done. He's done that fucking bald spot is not made for that bald spot. Maybe I saw that in front of like I saw that in a live. I never thought I'd live to see him need a wish. He when he turned his head, I was at WrestleMania. There was a guy like a black family in front of us. They were like, damn, they literally saw like shit.
00:55:08
Speaker
It was true, dude. like It got a crowd reaction at Mania. It was like, is he okay? Oh, man. What the fuck? Why did they just like, I don't know, like color it in or something? Or just shave your head bald. He was always kind of bald though, but it wasn't as bad. Now it's like shiny. That like that's John Cena hair that he had, like the dad hair, that dad hair has to fucking go. Well, at the same time, he was also like, he needs wigger hair. He used to have the flap top fade. I was never really a big fan of John Cena like ever. No, I rooted for all of his nemeseses. I was a big Carlito fan. He was against Carlito for a little bit. And Carlito showed up in the hospital and punched him in the kidneys. Oh. He beat him up and took the, remember the chain? Remember the chain that was a lock? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He stole that from him and he wrapped his fist up and punched him in the back and the kidneys in the hospital. And then John Cena came back and whooped his ass, but still Carlito got his licks in.
00:56:03
Speaker
Yeah. I loved the heels like of that era. Yeah. Edge. Yeah. And heels were so much better because like John Cena was like. Edge and Cena had a crazy personal feud. Yeah. Pretty awesome. There was a kid who wrote my girlfriend a love letter in middle school and he used John Cena as his muse. That same guy, love that same guy comes to almost all of my shows. Does he really? Yeah. And he brings people. Really? who Yeah. And he, you ever brought that up to him?
00:56:34
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know the story. Apparently, i all I heard was he wrote a John Cena infused love letter, which is like... I'd still be with him. I'd still be with him. I'm going to come back with like a Sabu letter. ah
Entertainment, Fame, and Legacy Reflections
00:56:50
Speaker
I'm like, you'll always be my Arabian face buster? Yeah. You're always going to be my Arabian moonsault. Arabian nights. I mean, John Cena's over the hill. He's fucking old. Get out of here. I feel like he's transitioning more. There's a lot of good talent on WWE right now, like on TV every single week. That's true. I feel like he's also transitioning more into being like a Hollywood star. Everyone at WWE is like, I'm going to kick your butt.
00:57:18
Speaker
Everybody's like, nothing everybody's waiting for like mommy to come back. She's back. I'm saying like, and then when she's back and everyone's like, like he's like doing the flowers and everything. He's like, we need mommy right now. I need her. How about this? If she turns the flowers down, why doesn't Dominic just smack her over the head with a fucking chair? Smack her over the fucking head with a chair. Because Eddie Guerrero would have handed out a brain buster back then. Dominic should get nuclear heat by beating them both up. You should beat both girls up.
00:57:50
Speaker
Bad. And it shouldn't even be on camera. This should show up with knots in their fucking head. Backstage! It should just be implied then you crowd their shit out of them. They show up backstage on the type and try to crowd their... I was talking to Jim about that. Like, why isn't Triple H running domestic violence angles on Netflix? but Like in WWE they don't really like Russell guys and girls They used to they don't see all the time and like like old lady versus Mark Henry like yeah back like an e old that's Back when Vince was booking and he was young Kurt Angle versus Mae Young back when Vince was on coke and pergoce at the same time Kurt Angle slammed Mae Young in a fucking like in ah an Olympic slam And then she hit the ground and he got up and celebrated as if he won his fucking fifth Olympic medal
00:58:39
Speaker
He was like literally crying he was so happy Like he had just beaten like the world champ. He literally picked up Mae Young and gave her a fucking angle slam like slam. Historically one of the most dangerous moves to take. No one really likes to take that move because you can't protect yourself. yeah You ever notice that when the rock does it, the rock puts his hand behind his head? Which Vince tells everyone else not to do, but the rock is precious. yeah So he can protect himself. It's precious cargo. Everyone else can take one around on the fucking concrete. Including Mae fucking Young. Including a senior citizen woman.
00:59:12
Speaker
and Well, that's good TV. It was good TV. everybody would How could you not watch a woman get put through a fucking table, dude? Yeah, they don't do that on WWE anymore. And like, they'll do like the mixed gender tag teams. But if you tag the girl and the other girl hops in. Yeah, that's not fun. Yeah, tag the girl and let the guy beat the shit out of the girl and get the other tag team mad. Or vice versa. Like I want to see like some chick do like some weird like and sure yeah could Eddie Guerrero. china they they w rusled Eddie gave the hardest power bomb of all time on the fucking ringside. He literally knocked her bladder out of her fucking cooch.
00:59:51
Speaker
her bladder came half way out of her butt and the other half out of her coop yeah it fell out of her butt she literally was laying there like a fucking clam out of water dude just like that clam foot sticking out she jumped from the apron he was standing ringside she jumped he jumped from the apron to land it for like a her carana and he caught her on his shoulders and then just fucking power bombed her on the ground And it's a loud flack. Fucking awesome. I want to train a train with like Christian on like like some wrestling moves. It just seems like fun. Your back's just going to hurt. and You're just going to be hurt. You're in pain. The reason why those dudes' backs are so big is because they build just build up the scar tissue. yeah It fucking hurts. And like you either have to really want to try to take that risk of getting on TV or you're just going to be a dude that gets hurt every weekend.
01:00:37
Speaker
Well, I would just do it for like fun. like I would like to try it too, just like one time, just just to feel what the mat feels like. I want to have one match with Christian. Would you train for it? Yeah, i would train oh I would train hard. You have to take bumps, and there's like certain steps you're going to take in the ring to three steps to hit the rope. I also heard if you don't grab the rope. I'm Japanese, I can run as much as I want on the rope. You can take 50 steps between ropes. From the top rope. I didn't realize that if you don't grab that rope, ah when you when you like bounce off of it, It actually whips the shit out of your back, and you can also fly over the rope. Oh, really? Yeah. It's like a cord. Yeah, we gotta take lessons. You ready to fucking call it on this one? Yeah, let's go to the Patreon, my boys. Goodnight, guys. Love ya.