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EP. 43 "Snow-vocaine"
17 Plays2 months ago
The guys review the Snow White remake and Novocaine with a brand new intro!
Follow us on Instagram to enter the giveaway! Ends 4/21
Our Tik Tok page is live!
Email the pod at 2guys1screenpod@gmail.com
Leave us a voicemail to be answered on the pod! 508-834-7847
Check out our Youtube Page for clips!
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Transcript
Introduction & Humor
00:00:00
Speaker
That a shtick like that, dude! Have you seen my dick? i've been looking for it.
00:00:07
Speaker
Sir, I'm gonna rub one out right here on your counter.
00:00:11
Speaker
We cut to Mike, who delivers meat on his bicycle.
00:00:19
Speaker
I'm rinsing your girl out, bud.
00:00:23
Speaker
That's how I identify the Doteca e-drunk.
00:00:27
Speaker
a
00:00:34
Speaker
Hello, my name is Nick and I have shaft hair.
00:00:38
Speaker
Scrub in the pot, which is what I call when I jerk myself off.
00:00:44
Speaker
We're just joking. I ever think jokes.
00:00:48
Speaker
Two girls, one cup? No. Two guys, one screen? Yes.
Welcome to Episode 43
00:00:56
Speaker
Hello and welcome to episode 43 of the two guys, the real episode 43, I should say, of the two guys one screen podcast, a.k.a. the hemorrhoid homies, a.k.a. the Poetown boys.
00:01:09
Speaker
We was in Poetown slash are in Poetown. I'm joined by the edgelord himself, Gerald. um We have a fucking packed episode today.
00:01:22
Speaker
We're fucking packing your shpinkler today. Right, right. Should we? Well, we'll do that later. Okay, we're covering today ah the Snow White remake.
00:01:35
Speaker
kill I don't have the throwaway button, but I would have used it. And and Novocaine. hey which um we you know obviously advertise black bag but uh gert and i were in poe town together we were trying to ask you you're back which is permanently back i mean you would say permanently there's a chance you could oh well yeah something else for the foreseeable future um
00:02:05
Speaker
We went to ah went to a movie together. was actually two guys, one screen, because most of it is two guys, two screens. It's been a hot minute since we've done that. Right. um And we saw Black Bag together, and we kind of just walked out of it being very confused.
00:02:21
Speaker
rat well We started questioning our intelligence because we just didn't know what the fuck happened. yeah I'm convinced I'm a fucking idiot. I don't know what... I mean, so the movie... We can just give like 15 seconds of our time to this because we have a lot of shit to cover today.
00:02:37
Speaker
um It is a whodunit about a piece of data technology gets stolen. um And then they just kind of figure it out and they don't really...
00:02:52
Speaker
Show you blame or anything. Yeah. to Jump right in the middle of the story. Right. um So if anybody's out there and understands what the fuck happened in that movie, let us know.
00:03:06
Speaker
The lighting was weird, too. We don't claim to be smart, you know, so it's like it's what it is. We'll see. Yeah, we're not smart. It's fine. We just like to give our opinions on the internet.
00:03:19
Speaker
um Let's do a... Plug it in, plug it
Engagement & Viral Clips
00:03:23
Speaker
in. So follow us on Instagram, two guys, one screen pod. Send any comments, requests to two guys, one screen pod at gmail.com.
00:03:34
Speaker
Follow us on TikTok. Follow us on Letterboxd. Follow us on YouTube. Shout out to YouTube. Shout YouTube coming in clutch. I mean, yeah TikTok, nine views. We're at thousand on YouTube.
00:03:48
Speaker
Yeah, what the fuck we doing? on what On the clip from last week. It's all going to be in the description. Send us a voicemail. 508-8-5-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8 a dipt tip is no one like that fal clip i made last week either whatever sorry ah guess not ah yes not
00:04:10
Speaker
and canon red paint i can explain that to somebody by the way what dip your tip and yeah he didn't get why it was funny call that a redhead Because you're a redhead. right Right.
00:04:21
Speaker
But then like having a redhead. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you you get it. i mean, get your cock so much. It's red. All right. Well, that's okay. Inflamed. Yeah. I mean, it's probably a little aggravated for sure.
00:04:33
Speaker
Maybe like rip little skin off. Have you ever jerk it till blood? ah No, not that much. But I've had a little skin peel off, you know? Oh, I've had that, yeah. You do it like three times in day. More than that.
00:04:46
Speaker
Oh, wow. i don't know why I said more like that. It's probably like four. Four. We're also four minutes in. We're talking about being our cocks to blood. Should be a movie. Oh, man. I mean, there's a Cannibal Corpse song called i Come Blood.
00:05:01
Speaker
That's wild. Yeah. Actually, I think I knew that already because we shared playlist. It's not good. um Did we finish the plug? I don't even remember. Yeah.
00:05:12
Speaker
All that should in the description. It's fucking there. All right? You know the deal. It's very fucking weak. I don't want to hear it. And if you're new, I'm sorry to be mean, but it's fucking down there. All right? If you're new... Well, we I think we do have some new listeners because the views have been doing better. I will say this. And also, I also want to ask people because it's a trend in...
00:05:34
Speaker
When we cover movies that are not like a new release, like we do some other shit, not, I mean, excluding Harry Potter, because we promoted the fuck out of that for weeks, right? And people knew it was coming.
00:05:47
Speaker
Views go very well. um We do new releases, not so good. And maybe it's because the movies this year haven't been good. Like, it's either that or people want to experience it for themselves.
00:06:01
Speaker
Like Wolfman presence, um the monkey slash Captain America, Brave New World ah companions, decent. But like all those episodes, Mickey 17's actually cooking. But um those episodes did not do well at all.
00:06:18
Speaker
But Harry Bopper, Harry's plopper going crazy. Yeah. So Harry. Yeah. kiddo Dan Rad. Saying the N word, not in that movie.
00:06:30
Speaker
Not in that Harry Potter
Listener Email & Film Critique
00:06:31
Speaker
movie. We'll that later. but Yeah, we will. oh We have an email. He wanted to go by the name Jack. hope he jacked off today.
00:06:44
Speaker
Hey guys, I've been hooked since the gremlins episode and have an incredible movie recommendation that you absolutely must watch. If you haven't seen it yet, it's a must incredible must see.
00:06:55
Speaker
Wait till I get sure movie this fucking piece of shit recommends. Maybe you should have recommended the Incredibles. Hmm. Hmm. Possible a piece of shit. He's a listener.
00:07:06
Speaker
He said he's been hooked. All right. We're not cutting it. I apologize, sir. ah The movie titled Draft Day is a cinematic masterpiece that features the len legendary Kevin Costner and captivating Jennifer Gardner.
00:07:24
Speaker
She can get it. Best, Jack. Well, thank you, Jack. We will not be reviewing your movie, but...
00:07:33
Speaker
Right. See, you're beating. This is like a good cop, bad cop thing. If you come back with a heater, we will make sure to review it. Heater on my Peter. Get it? Beating your cock aggressively?
00:07:44
Speaker
Get it We're full circle now. Get it? Jack, jack off, beat your fucking cock. Come on, guys. Yeah, I don't like... um Can i just tell you why I hate that email? Sure. I guess this is bad PR for us, but I don't give a fuck.
00:07:56
Speaker
ah Using all those adjectives to describe a movie that actually sucks ah but is is offensive. But isn't this objective? I would like to ask...
00:08:09
Speaker
but Yeah, all films subjective. So to me, subjectively, that movie is a fucking and a half. Okay. Please still listen. You've been hooked. Please still listen. We love you. I mean, still listen, obviously, but ah remember, this is the internet. Your opinion doesn't matter.
00:08:24
Speaker
No, no, honestly, it it doesn't. we lost our opinions Our opinions don't matter
Harry Potter Giveaway
00:08:29
Speaker
at all. We're just two dudes with two screens. The name of our fucking podcast is a lie. Come on.
00:08:37
Speaker
it's I mean, it's based off of off a famous video that I didn't really believe existed. Potentially. Potentially. Two girls, one cup? No. Two guys, one screen?
00:08:48
Speaker
Yes. We're real. And we're here. i would like to ask Jack if he's actually a Browns fan. Because that movie is just a Browns fan wet dream. You also know who's going to go crazy if this actually got recommended is Jake. Because Jake...
00:09:02
Speaker
had been begging me to watch that movie for the longest time. So he's going to cream his jeans. Jake's going to jack off. Get it? We're back again. Let's fucking go. You got it, baby.
00:09:18
Speaker
All that being said, yeah, didn't mean to kind of flame me like that. Well, I did, but the movie fucking sucks. It's just, here's the thing, right? Here's the thing. There's all... How many movies do you think exist? You can't track that because there's like media and shit.
00:09:33
Speaker
How many movies have ah existed? We'll say that.
00:09:39
Speaker
At least two. That's not that much. It says over 500,000. That's that many. No fucking way. It's more than that. All right, let know how movies exist if you're if you're out there counting movies.
00:09:51
Speaker
um can I'll say this. There's over 500,000 movies. There's somewhere between 500,000 and a million movies that exist, I would say. And you pick draft day?
00:10:02
Speaker
That's your pick. Come on. If you wanted to do a football movie, like. don I'm not doing the blind side. i mean, I will. i I don't want to do the blind side, but like. um I don't have any interest in doing the blind side. Something else.
00:10:15
Speaker
We can do the Black History Month. could You could do Rudy for Black History Month. Don't do Rudy, man. We're going fucking flame that guy. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the the there's too much opportunity for jokes that probably might be a little bit off color.
00:10:31
Speaker
Oh!
00:10:35
Speaker
um Oh. um Yeah. Okay. So we are Yes, we're doing it. um We have some exciting news to announce to you all because... Huge.
00:10:51
Speaker
Big fucking news. Huge. ah We are... Even though I literally just said we're doing pretty good with the views, we are trying to grow more. ah um And in in the spirit of our ah Harry Potter coverage, we're like in the thick of it right now. I mean, wait till you guys hear Goblet of Fire and then the next two. I mean, the the next three are crazy.
00:11:16
Speaker
Deathly Howl's part one cools off a little bit. Deathly Howl's part two, the more serious. But the next three, wild shit. Don't listen to them in public. Yeah. Keep in your- Hide your kids. Hide your wife.
00:11:28
Speaker
We're raping everybody out here. All right? Okay. All right. You know that song? I remember young Greg being like, hide your grandma, hide your sister. That's what i remember.
00:11:39
Speaker
What were you referencing? Hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your kids, hide your wife. now Don't know that one. That's fine. Anyways, um we're doing a giveaway. The start of the giveaways are here, ladies and gentlemen.
00:11:53
Speaker
And it is Funko Pop of Harry Potter, not only with his shtick, but also with his snitch. Come on.
00:12:05
Speaker
What great way to start. um So here is here are the terms... The details of how you get into this giveaway. Because we have we have different levels of it. All this just to get a $13 piece of plastic.
00:12:20
Speaker
I mean, you choose. But, hey, when this episode goes out, we will flow picture of the
00:12:30
Speaker
we will post a picture of the Funko Pop so you guys know what you are trying to get. And if you want us to sign it, that'll be a little difficult, but we can make it happen.
00:12:41
Speaker
I mean, i don't. If any of our friends wants to sign, it's just fucking weird. Okay. Straight up. You're all weird. Yeah. ah But if you're some stranger, sure, we'll sign it for you. We'll kiss your baby. We'll figure it out.
00:12:53
Speaker
All right. What'd you say? I said, we'll kiss your baby.
00:13:01
Speaker
ah So, okay. So going to make a post. It'll be by the time you hear this, it's already up. So it's already up. oh matt oh And is yours up right now?
00:13:14
Speaker
I'm a little chubbed up. I'm getting a little excited, yeah. Yeah. So ah like the post, you got to be following our page. You're not going to see if you're not following our page, right? Well, you might, but you should be following us. That also is a is a term.
00:13:31
Speaker
And then comment your favorite moment. Now, we're doing favorite moment because if you comment your favorite episode, we know you didn't look. Because someone here someone could recommend a stinker like Candyman, and then there's no good moments from that episode.
00:13:46
Speaker
No, like we know you're lying. We know you're lying and didn't actually listen, so you will be disqualified. Come on. Didn't your mother teach you never tell a lie? I will also say this. If you like Diet Coke, you're also disqualified.
00:13:59
Speaker
I'm just kidding. Unless you're in Mexico. Mexican Diet Coke is fire, and I will stand by that. Um, now that's how you get your name in my ball bag once to increase the number of times you're entered. You can write us an email with a question, comment, concern, recommendation that will get you an additional entry or, well, and you can do all these, you could stack them up. stack them You could stack them.
00:14:26
Speaker
Um, If you call in and leave a voicemail, we will give you two additional entries. So you Jesus Christ. You guys are fucking spoiled. but um we ah You know what? Thinking about that, should we actually say the full number so people know?
00:14:44
Speaker
Do we know what it is? oh actually, I have it here. i Actually, I have it here. Hold on. Hold on. Well, if I click on this, it's going to give us a view, but that's what's it needs it. um Show more.
00:14:55
Speaker
The phone number the is 8, uh, 5 0 8 8 3 4 7 8 4 7 5 0 8 8 dip tip 5 0 8 8 fist
00:15:03
Speaker
five eight eight dip tip five eight eight fist us Call any of those numbers. It's the same people. um So you can like the post, comment your favorite moment. You get one entry. Then you can send us an email. That's a second additional entry.
00:15:16
Speaker
Then you can call us. That's two more. I got four entries in a raffle for a podcast that has 25 people. You're going to win. Yeah. Great. And this...
00:15:26
Speaker
ah yeah ah great ah and if this If this goes well, right, the giveaway, ah In the future, we will look to maybe upgrade, you know, steady growth like my fucking shaft.
00:15:47
Speaker
And we will get bigger and better prizes. Bigger and better? Wetter? Wilder? God, we'll send you the full fucking collection of ah Girls Going Wild on DVD.
00:16:01
Speaker
that Bigger, wetter, wild. I mean, and then the grand finale will be a hard copy, physical copy of Two Girls, One Cup. uh that's be hard vhs vhs also we did we'll say the giveaway does end ah april 21st april 22nd episode 47 we will reveal the winner by the way episode 47 will be um a review on ron ron right he then was ron witness protection
00:16:33
Speaker
That guy that wrote an email, I think it was Ron, I'm pretty sure. Oh, yeah. Fucking yeah. Ron? I think. Is it Ron? It's Ron. I'm pretty sure it's Ron. Ron recommended us last live episode we recorded, not Harry
Shoutout to Bandit Video
00:16:46
Speaker
Potter. ah The Devil Wears Prada. So episode 47, we're reviewing The Devil Wears Prada, and we're also going review the winner of the giveaway.
00:16:56
Speaker
So stay tuned. Big thanks. Yeah. Uh. I think that's have about that. We'll do some physical media pickups.
00:17:08
Speaker
Would you like to go first? Sure. All right. Hit it. And by some, we mean a shit ton. I spent more money on physical media like in the past two weeks than I think I have like in a while.
00:17:23
Speaker
We should say for part of this, some of these pickups, we were together. and In Poe Town, just going around hunting. and Also, can we shout oh we shout out the the place now from Jersey?
00:17:35
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Big shout out. Shout Bandit Video. Shout out Bandit. In Williamstown, New Jersey. Fucking legend. What's the guy's name? Mark. Shout out Mark. Yeah, but not fuck you, Mark.
00:17:46
Speaker
Yeah. yeah This Mark's great. But other Mark, fuck you. Fuck you, dude. Yeah. ah Mark, you're also disqualified from the giveaway. I'm just kidding. great So all of these ah I got with you.
00:18:01
Speaker
So you know it already. Potown boys going shopping. Most fucking surprises. i Scream Factory Blu-ray of a movie called Willard. Apparently, this is a movie about a killer rat.
00:18:16
Speaker
It says this is the one movie you should not see alone. I doubt that. Did you buy the whole collection? I do not have Ben yet.
00:18:26
Speaker
Which was there. It was there. It's still there. On their website. Still there. Should we shut that place out? We can't. Probably not. Okay. They are a chain though, right?
00:18:38
Speaker
No. It's a one-off. I'm almost positive. I'll show you my one-off. um So if this movie is good, I will be going back and buying Ben. ah Second...
00:18:52
Speaker
I bought this movie for one reason and one reason only.
00:18:57
Speaker
Imperium ah with Daniel Radcliffe and Tony Collette. Daniel Radcliffe says the hard R in this movie. um Not okay. Not okay. Well, it's okay. But we want to hear it.
00:19:10
Speaker
I want to hear it. Is it okay for acting? Adam Driver said it. um Yeah, he's fine, right? He said it a lot. He said a lot in Black Klansman. Yeah.
00:19:21
Speaker
So did Leo and Django. Yeah, that's true. He didn't want to say it, though. He was really scared. right Yeah. And then Samuel Jackson called him a fucking pussy. Just say it. Yeah. Yeah. So, ah yeah. Hard R Daniel Radcliffe.
00:19:34
Speaker
Hard R Imperium.
00:19:37
Speaker
ah Next up, we got the Blu-ray of Demonic Toys. This is on our shared notes list for a very long time. Just want to say that. Hot second.
00:19:49
Speaker
And every time you found it, it was a little overpriced. don't think I ever found it, though. Really? I don't think so. I could be wrong, but go ahead. oh ah This is by the same people that make all the Puppet Master movies.
00:20:02
Speaker
um And there's eventually a movie, Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys. So that's exciting. It's probably fucking dog shit, but I'm collecting full moon, I guess.
00:20:16
Speaker
Full moon is the full moon is the distributor just for the record. Yeah. Maker distributor does it all creator. They're God. Okay.
00:20:27
Speaker
Well, so this movie is actually good. Castle Freak starring ah Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton from Reanimator. Somebody want to match my freak?
00:20:39
Speaker
All right. I think you should watch this movie. This movie is actually good. Well, I don't have it.
00:20:45
Speaker
It's on Shudder. That was rude. It's on Shudder. um Made by Stuart Gordon, the guy that made Reanimator. Shout to Reanimator. Episode 11, I think. Go listen to it.
00:21:00
Speaker
Next, ah nothing really special, um but the Smile 2 4K. Good price. Good price, 17 buckaroos.
00:21:11
Speaker
Can shout out Barnes & Noble? yeah Yeah, we can shout out them. Shout out Barnes & Noble. Dude, Barnes & Noble always overpriced, but sometimes has the discounts. If you see like a percent off sticker, probably buy it because probably below retail.
00:21:25
Speaker
but You got to be careful Barnes & Noble. Yeah, you got be careful Barnes & Noble. Yeah.
Physical Media Purchases
00:21:29
Speaker
Yeah. um I haven't seen this one, but you said it's really good. It's better better than Smile 1. It is, for sure. Factually speaking.
00:21:36
Speaker
That's a W. I haven't able to watch a lot of these yet because I was in the process of moving. But ah starting, hopefully, within the next couple days, i will be watching a good chunk of these, actually.
00:21:49
Speaker
It's my plan.
00:21:52
Speaker
Next up, a movie I feel like we both wanted to pick up, but we needed the right price. I mean, it was there for me. I didn't take it, yeah. Yeah. ah The 4K of the OG Nightmare on Elm Street.
00:22:07
Speaker
Hey, great. think this bitch was like 17 as well. Good price, good price. That's genuine masterpiece right there, dude. Yeah, that's a five-star movie. That's a five-star movie.
00:22:18
Speaker
If you haven't seen A Nightmare on Elm Street, you probably shouldn't be listening to this podcast. Maybe we'll do it for Horror Month. Maybe we'll put it in the bracket. We'll put in the bracket. Want hear it? You want to see it? I'll fucking see my shitter.
00:22:33
Speaker
My meat hole.
00:22:36
Speaker
ah Next up, I feel like you are also going to talk about this movie. I am. You will have more to say. so I've seen it. The A24 movie Sing Sing.
00:22:47
Speaker
ah You recommended this. My number one of last year. ah Very excited to watch
Film Recommendations
00:22:52
Speaker
it. I'll let you suck its dick later. I mean, I'll let it come in my mouth. i don't give a fuck.
00:23:00
Speaker
Another good priced movie right here. 17 buckarooskies for the 4K of the Terminator. Terminator 1. Uno. Not the steel.
00:23:13
Speaker
That's fucking rare as shit. I wish I had that, but it's fine. I do want that too. I've also never seen the first Terminator. What? I know.
00:23:24
Speaker
I know. i know. and That should be like first on your list, dude. I've seen Judgment Day. Yeah, you should watch stack of movies you got That should be the first one you watch.
00:23:35
Speaker
Alright, number one? Got it. Just just to say, because like you have a film podcast, probably should have seen it. Yeah, you're right. um I've been waiting for the 4K. Now you have it. Now I got it, so I'll fucking watch it.
00:23:48
Speaker
hu
00:23:51
Speaker
And then the last on my list is... From a boutique that I don't buy from very often. ah One and only Vinegar Syndrome.
00:24:07
Speaker
The 4K of a movie called Flesh Eater Revenge of the Living Dead. A zombie movie. Apparently, I've heard nothing but good things. Apparently, it's super fucking gory. i mean un Packaging looks mint.
00:24:22
Speaker
Fucking crisp, dude. this yeah You can't see it, but I'll tell you. There's tits. Oh, yeah. This zombie is punching this woman through her chest right in between her tits.
00:24:34
Speaker
Pinpoint accuracy. Pinpoint. ah Fun fact, this zombie on the cover, the main dude, is the zombie from the graveyard scene in Night of the Living Dead.
00:24:47
Speaker
I actually just... Oh, wrong one. Sorry. You watched Return. Yep, I did. No relation. No. Good movie still. I did drop it a half star, but it's still I give it four.
00:24:58
Speaker
I did see that. It's still good movie. Great movie. And hopefully this is good too. Camp. Camp. This was $50 or something like that. So I hope it's fucking good.
00:25:09
Speaker
Well, you're speaking of $50, I'll start with the one you don't know about. 50 buckarooskies. Oh, yeah. That's good purchase for you. But wait till you see it.
00:25:19
Speaker
um Is it a blind buy? No. I've seen both these movies. um I think as soon as I say who put this out, you'll know exactly what i what I'm about to show you. How do you open this fucking thing again?
00:25:32
Speaker
Shout out to Lionsgate Select. It's an online purchase here we got going on. It is indeed the Den of Thieves combo double steelbook collection.
00:25:46
Speaker
I did not tell you I bought this. I did tell you I was considering it. ah Both 4K steelbooks. Den of Thieves 1, I think it's little bit better than Den of Thieves 2, but both still good movies. This was on the wall. I took it down so you wouldn't see it.
00:25:59
Speaker
You little sneak. um and like the first yeah I like the first one more than the second one, like as far as the look of the Steelbook is concerned. um and And as the movie is concerned, I would say.
00:26:11
Speaker
Here's the second one. Clean. I like i love it when they do disc art. Disc art is like W. All I totally you want in life is disc art. um And some dick art. I going to say not dick art, because that's probably going to hurt. Shout Zach, if you're listening, for drawing a dick on my sneakers in high school.
00:26:29
Speaker
um And the actual like case is magnetic and it looks like a safe. That's fire. um I like it. I've always liked then The Thieves and I like what they did. The second one was fine, but um there's been more schlop than that movie in 2025.
00:26:46
Speaker
five Next, ah Barnes & Noble buy, I believe. Shout to him. I got the 4K of Civil War, Alex Garland's film. It was are that $17 price point. It had $17 for a 4K with the Digi.
00:27:01
Speaker
I'm going to buy it. It's a good movie. I remember liking it very much. Obviously, very divisive. um I am curious how a rewatch is going to go for me.
00:27:12
Speaker
I'll buy most for $17. That's how is.
00:27:17
Speaker
so it is Next, I bought the Blu-ray because I had kind of a hot take about this movie, which is why it's only the Blu-ray of M. Night Shyamalan Madingdong's Signs. I don't really like that movie.
00:27:31
Speaker
People love it. that a hot take? I think it is. I love it. People love Signs. It genuinely scared me as a kid. Hit me with The Visit. You know i mean? Split.
00:27:42
Speaker
Unbreakable. Fuck glass. Movie sucks. he Stay tuned. um Speaking of other movies that suck, I had this in the notes i that I'd buy it for, like was it literally $5? Is that what I wrote?
00:27:55
Speaker
Yeah. This movie also sucks, ah but i I bought it because I have Pearl. I bought X with a slip. Which is W. It is a W. Love having a slip. Fuck that movie, though.
00:28:07
Speaker
ah You think it'll be better on rewatch? No. A movie you and I watched together, actually. Yeah. we My first watch. Or our first watch. yeah Our. Next one, we added ah two criteria and this week. This is the first one.
00:28:22
Speaker
Francis Ha. A movie that I thought was on my watch list. A movie that a lot of people in the film talk... landscape talk about. ah Didn't really hit for me. Sorry. I do want to say though, Greta Gerwig, you're a piece and you can get it going going no It's just what it is.
00:28:38
Speaker
ah She, ah she Greta Gerwig, the director of ah Barbie. um It just a bad movie. It didn't. I feel like I watched it in the right time in my life where I'm supposed to watch it. Cause it's about like a 27 year old, like being kind of lost.
00:28:52
Speaker
um But it just didn't really, I don't know. It was fine. It was fine. The next movie, a movie that I recommend to literally everybody because fucking great. and If you hate Tom Cruise, watch this movie.
00:29:04
Speaker
um The Color of Money. it is a movie about a guy who meets like He's like his mentor in a way, right? And they run a scheme, a con in pool where they act like they're bad and then start playing guys for money and then win. You bad boy.
00:29:22
Speaker
um Very, very good movie. There is a... I believe The Color of Money is a sequel to a prequel of a different pool movie that is out on Criterion. So I'm trying to watch that before I buy it.
00:29:36
Speaker
You don't hear many movies about pool, to be honest. I love playing pool. I used to play a lot. I'm pretty bad. Shout out to Charlie. You're definitely not listening. The next one, as Gerald mentioned before, My first packaged...
00:29:50
Speaker
like piece of physical media. You know what i mean? Yeah, I know what you mean. Sing Sing. This is my my number one movie of of last year. um It's about ah prison and they're they're they they start a theater camp club, whatever, and put on performances, but it has a lot more to say thematically.
00:30:12
Speaker
um Coleman Domingo is the main actor, but the rest of the people in the movie are actual prisoners at Sing Sing, which is in the Poe Town area. Hey, great. Roughly, yeah.
00:30:24
Speaker
Roughly. So there's that. um Next one, I added a Kino Lorber. I'll be honest with you. I had no idea Kino Lorber even put this out. It's kind of random. You know how many things Kino puts out? And I'm like, what? And why?
00:30:37
Speaker
Yeah. um Brokeback Mountain.
00:30:43
Speaker
Fucking go, butt sex. um It was, I mean, i i don't remember how much I paid for but it, but was less than $10 and it was a Kino. So I was like, sure. Shout Barnes & Noble again. Sure.
00:30:54
Speaker
um It's a good movie. It's an enjoyable movie. R.I.P. Heath. Right. Last but not least, I did buy the criteria of a movie that I've been dying to watch. It's a Fincher blind spot for me.
00:31:09
Speaker
Have not seen it ever. It stars Michael Douglas of Ant-Man fame. That's a lie. He's not Ant-Man famous, but he's a well-known actor. I did buy the movie The Game.
00:31:23
Speaker
There you go. Shout out to Disturb. If you think I'm not going to keep shouting out Disturb, you're fucking wrong. ah Yeah, the game, I did watch this already.
00:31:36
Speaker
ah It was a little underwhelming just because of like the aura the movie has. um It's about a guy well, it's about Michael Douglas, who signs up for ah this service. It's called CRS.
00:31:51
Speaker
They introduce a game into your life, but they don't tell you when it starts, when it ends, or what it is. um And this game is a bit cruel, and they make this, because Michael Douglas' character is like a fucking rich like millionaire whatever.
00:32:05
Speaker
um and the game is they convince him that he's been con and all his money's been taken from him and all his family was on on it. And they took all his money left him for dead. That's the game, which is kind of dark. Um, sorry, just spoiled that movie.
00:32:18
Speaker
But, um, anyways, that's, uh, that's, that's the game. and game That's the game. That's the game. Fuck one more time. Just for fun. We are coming off the heels of me seeing disturbed at the garden, which was fucking amazing.
00:32:30
Speaker
All right. ah We'll get into our reviews.
Snow White Remake Review
00:32:34
Speaker
This episode ah is what we like to call here at Two Guys, One Screen, a double-decker pecker wrecker. um Shkack.
00:32:43
Speaker
We'll start off with Snow White because i think we both have a lot to say and it is predominantly negative because, I mean, literally, what the fuck were they doing?
00:32:56
Speaker
We pissed me off. Pissed? I mean, it pissed... I have a lot to say. We'll get into it. ah We'll start with the cast. Snow White directed by one Mark Webb. I don't know who Mark Webb is, respectfully.
00:33:07
Speaker
Oh, shit. He got The Amazing Spider-Man 1 and 2. He's the director? He's the director. And you made this schlop? o I mean, the first um mayor Amazing Spider-Man's good.
00:33:20
Speaker
i little well I stand by two. Nope, stand by it. We'll not let you say that. Actually, I will. do and say whatever you want, but it's a good movie. 500 Days Summer he made.
00:33:31
Speaker
The Day Drinker. ah Don't know what that is Here's your cast. We have Rachel Zegler who plays Snow White. We can um get into that in her performance later.
00:33:45
Speaker
i don't think... I don't think she's a piece in this movie, but this letterbox picture can get the button alone. Yeah, because in the movie, she's supposed to be like 15. Right, which is not appropriate.
00:33:58
Speaker
Right. which is This is the line we always run into of like, all right, are we doing it for the character or for the actress? I feel like we can't. Let's hit it. Hit it for the actress. Hit it for her. She was born in 2001. She's definitely of age.
00:34:11
Speaker
Sure. Doink, doink, doink.
00:34:15
Speaker
We have Gal Gadot who plays the evil queen. going i mean, what else is there to say about Gal Gadot, right? Well, I'll have some stuff. but's I mean, i her as an actress, i my mind has changed pretty drastically on her recently.
00:34:32
Speaker
um But she's a piece. ah We have Andrew Burnap who plays Jonathan. um I'll be honest, this kid's a piece. He's fucking hot, dude. going yeah But at the same time, it is kind of who that boy, who him is.
00:34:49
Speaker
Maybe he's kind of new to Hollywood. He's only been in four films. He's in this movie called The Front Room, which, oh, has terrible reviews. What a shock. um We have Jeremy Swift, who voices Doc. These are We're getting into The Seven Dwarfs, which we can talk about that, too. I mean...
00:35:08
Speaker
What a debacle. what absolutely What an absolute debacle. We can get into that. So I'm going to run through these names. I got so many, like, thoughts. I'm run through these names really quickly because we just have a lot to cover today.
00:35:22
Speaker
um Andrew Burnup, we already talked about. Jeremy Swift plays Doc. Jason Kravitz plays Sneezy. Martin Kleba plays Grumpy. George Salazar. Salazar, fire-ass name. um Yeah.
00:35:34
Speaker
plays happy titus bergus plays bashville andy i don't know what the fuck that says rattle lushkin plays sleepy andrew barth feldman plays dopey and he also is the narrator i thought the narrator was jamie lee curtis when i was listening to the film did you ever think that similar it definitely sounded like her um Hadley Frazier plays the good queen.
00:35:59
Speaker
Good king. Lorena Andrea plays the good queen. i mean, she did not even have. What was even the point of Snow White having a mom in this movie? I don't know. That's another thing.
00:36:10
Speaker
um Amelia Foucher plays young Snow White. um Ansu Khabia plays the Huntsman. Patrick Page voices the magic mirror. um I think we don't need to say anybody else on this list, right?
00:36:26
Speaker
Any special appearances? Alright, let's try let's try to just start with positives. the pop Right, exactly. If you want to go first, I'll let you have the floor, sir.
00:36:41
Speaker
Gal Gadot, as the queen, she looked great. She looked exactly like the 1937. What's up? the og film nineteen thirty seven wasa Saw, dude. The remakes of some of the iconic songs were cool. They added new lines in Hi-Ho and that fucking Whistle While You Work song.
00:37:03
Speaker
You liked it. I liked that. ah Are we doing the end of your list? I'm the wrong shit. I don't necessarily hate Rachel Zegler as Snow White?
00:37:20
Speaker
Yeah, I think she... i I mean, on the note of Rachel Zegler, I think her Snow White... Look, the problem is not that she's not white. I don't really care.
00:37:33
Speaker
In this movie, it didn't bother me at all, dude. Like, who gives a fuck? Be black, Asian, whatever you want. I doesn't i don't really care. um It just... yeah a lot of this is the same conversation of, like, why are we doing this more than anything else?
00:37:48
Speaker
Because some of it does feel little bit like um tokenism. Like Disney being like, we know that our founder was extremely anti-Semitic.
00:38:01
Speaker
So look, here we're giving a non-white person the opportunity to have a lead role in a Disney movie about a Disney princess who was white. Right. Whose name has nothing to do with the color of her skin.
00:38:16
Speaker
No. No, right. They explain that. It doesn't. Yeah. Right. um I don't know. It's like it's like the Little Mermaid they casted a black actress who played the Little Mermaid. Not my problem. I don't have any issue with it. It's just kind of like, why are we making this movie if it's not going to be good?
00:38:34
Speaker
You know what I mean? 90% of the live-action remakes that Disney made are pointless. they have I feel like there's no passion behind them. There's no actual like effort.
00:38:45
Speaker
Like that Tom Hanks Pinocchio movie. We know we don't talk about that movie. He's terrible. Guillermo del Toro did it right, though. Shout out to you. Shout out to Guillermo. I'll give you my positives. The overall costume design of the people who are actually on set and not fucking CGI ah looks good.
00:39:04
Speaker
i I will give you that. The costume design was was well done. I agree with that completely. They definitely had a budget. It's Disney. Of course they had a budget. The dwarves we can get into, I was very, um it was off-putting to me at first, the way they looked. And then i warm i did warm up to them, for sure.
00:39:27
Speaker
i think actually my favorite part of the movie, for being completely honest, is when Gal Gadot transformed into the witch. Really? Really? that was probably the only part I actually enjoyed.
00:39:38
Speaker
Hmm. And like, I know like it's fucking stupid. Some random lady gives you an apple and you fucking eat it. Like you're an idiot. But, um, but then there's no, I don't know. I, I enjoyed, enjoyed that character. I would say, uh,
00:39:54
Speaker
And a lot of it didn't look like obvious CGI to me. It didn't look terrible. There were some spots that were, but a lot of it looked pretty decent. I would say this movie, maybe it's a hot take looked better than wicked.
00:40:10
Speaker
I was thinking that when I was watching it. Yeah, I definitely think this looks better than wicked. The animals in this actually looked like animals. I didn't hate it, but none of them got shit on the fish from cat in the hat.
00:40:24
Speaker
Bro, that was 2003. What are we doing here? But that what do we that fish looked good. You can fucking get it. Goldfish on my tip type shit.
00:40:36
Speaker
I don't know what that means, but yes.
00:40:39
Speaker
So, before we just go and like shit on it, shit on it, I want to address the dwarf situation because... The dwarves were CGI completely and only voice acted.
00:40:54
Speaker
And then they casted a guy. What is the politically correct way to say He was a dwarf. A little person is the politically correct. Right. We can't say midget anymore. Midget's no good.
00:41:05
Speaker
Right. Dwarf is bad too because they don't even call them dwarves in the movie. They don't even mention what they are. Oh, I was told dwarves is okay. Is it? Well, we will call them little people. theyed They did drafted? Holy shit.
00:41:18
Speaker
They casted dwarves. ah They casted. That was a slip. They casted a little person to play one of the people in the like the rebellion.
00:41:32
Speaker
Right. um And the only news that I've heard about this was Peter Dinklage speaking out about it's offensive that they're casting real people to play the dwarves?
00:41:48
Speaker
How? Essentially... Dinklage is saying that the movie reinforces some stereotypes. um This is his quote. They were so proud that being the movie.
00:42:01
Speaker
And all love and respect to the actress and the people who thought they were doing the right thing. But I'm just like, what the fuck are you doing? um And he basically Peter Dinklage ain't fucking it.
00:42:15
Speaker
He ain't fucking it. I'll be honest. this This article, I don't really get his point. I don't either, because wouldn't you want representation? He called it fucking backwards, is what he called the movie.
00:42:30
Speaker
for Yeah, he said the door the Snow White and Seven Dwarfs remake fucking backwards for his portrayal of the dwarfism.
00:42:39
Speaker
But he's acting like he hasn't been casted because he's a little person. He said literally no offense to anyone, but I was a little taken back when they were proud to cast a Latina actress as Snow White.
00:42:51
Speaker
You're telling the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. You're progressive in one way and you're still making that fucking backwards story about Seven Dwarves living in a cave together. What the fuck you doing, man? I don't know. they're Yeah, they're telling a story.
00:43:04
Speaker
It's fantasy. The movie didn't need to be made. I 100% hear you on that. It didn't. We didn't need this movie. No one asked for it. No one wanted it. No. But hating on it because of what it is, you know.
00:43:16
Speaker
mean, we're going to hate on because of what it is. um i do think I do think if they casted actual ah little people... I might have been a little, I don't get, why is it less offensive to make CGI people that, that somebody else is voicing versus, uh, casting actual little people. And you know what mean? Right.
00:43:37
Speaker
I don't really get it. I don't, I mean, literally. So are the, are the, the, um, what are their names? Not trolls. Who are those Johns and Lord of the Rings? Hobbits.
00:43:49
Speaker
No, the other ones that help him. With the fucking long-ass beards and shit. Oh. not They're not elves. They're fucking... No. People are yelling at their phones right now with the answer.
00:44:00
Speaker
Are they dwarves? They might be dwarves. Yeah. I mean... Right? They sound Scottish. I just Googled group of the Rings with beards. Dwarves.
00:44:11
Speaker
They literally are dwarves. So dwarves is not offensive in Lord the Rings? Dwarves is like an established like fantasy character, like elves, orcs, stuff like that.
00:44:21
Speaker
Sure. It's a race in fantasy. It's creed. yeah Yeah. And literally in Game of Thrones, like they make short jokes. like That is your biggest role.
00:44:33
Speaker
And you're basically being hypocritical because you were casted because you were a little person. I get you don't want to typecast, but like this is a role for... They're not going cast a 5'8 person to play a dwarf.
00:44:49
Speaker
like If we turned it into like Snow White and fucking the average guy, like it's not going to work. Snow White and the average guy. the movie doesn't work, period. The movie doesn't work at all. but Here's another thing, too, that that I think takes away by not having real people. The musical sets, like the pieces...
00:45:07
Speaker
When she's singing with the dwarves, you can so clearly tell she's in a room by herself. And there's no one there like dancing. Yeah, no one's there. no one's home. It's just so odd.
00:45:18
Speaker
It's so bizarre to me. It looks so weird. I personally am with the belief they should have casted little people. People who who like fit the role. No pun intended.
00:45:29
Speaker
Warwick Davis as Doc? Come on, dude. bro man is old. Right. yeah i don't pay He looks a little too old, but to be running, and hopping and skipping like that, you think you can do it for the bag?
00:45:43
Speaker
guess. Yeah, I guess. I guess the price is right. Yeah, you're yeah. Fair enough. um We'll get into the negative. Do you want to go? i could go I'll put one more positive out there.
00:45:56
Speaker
All right. I appreciate that. ah In the original movie. the love interest, right? Has zero fucking story.
00:46:08
Speaker
He shows up like meets her at the beginning. And then he magically shows up at the end to give her a kiss. And he's just called the Prince, right? In this movie, this guy actually has a backstory. You grow to, they try and make you like them.
00:46:22
Speaker
Um, they give him a meaning, not just, uh, yeah. I still, I mean, it's not, it's better than the original, but I still think it's a little shallow.
00:46:37
Speaker
There's not much. He's like, oh, I'm going to steal these potatoes. Viva la revolution. And then I'm going to kiss you again. Yeah, he is. Right? Yeah, you're right. Even wears like fucking green.
00:46:48
Speaker
Like, what are we doing, Disney? I don't know. i don't think it's a direct ripoff, but I don't really, even like when they're teasing them, like, oh, you guys are like in love or whatever. Like, are they like, I just met you.
00:47:00
Speaker
Are you really? I get it. He looks like he's in at least 25. But he's a piece. um That doesn't make it right, but he is a piece. um i do I feel like i I did kind of zoom over it a little bit, but Rachel Zegler, I think that some of her musical sets were compelling.
00:47:16
Speaker
the The one where like it's like the second musical set where she's like singing about a wish or whatever, that one I actually thought was pretty good. actually I actually liked that one lot. The first opening one, I was like, i need to leave it here right now. was fucking terrible. Terrible.
00:47:30
Speaker
all yeah Here's the problem with all Disney movies. Ever since Frozen came out, every fucking musical number that's like new sounds exactly like it's straight out of Frozen.
00:47:41
Speaker
I haven't seen Frozen, but i kind of agree with that. Also, everything is just trying to make it a big fucking platinum record, you know? um The other thing, too, is that Disney does not do, and this happened with with Wicked, not to this extent, but had no idea of' a musical.
00:47:59
Speaker
It's not marketed at all as a musical, even a little bit. there is no There was no... i mean, I know the Hi-Ho song is like famous or whatever, but like yeah I had no... were these Are these like songs... Is this original music, or is this stuff that they...
00:48:13
Speaker
Yeah, so Hi Ho and the Whistle While You Work, that's in the original. Like, the original has some music, but it's not like this. I will say some of it did, some of the orchestral stuff, because i did play it in high school, it sounded like Lion King.
00:48:27
Speaker
That's what saying. Like, they're ripping off their own shit. Which I guess they can do that. ah yeah um I guess. Yeah, I guess. So, it was odd to me that it wasn't advertised as a musical. They don't really show...
00:48:42
Speaker
that. But now I'm starting to think because Disney's just making everything a musical. Like that's just kind of what they're doing. And we love musicals. maybe yeah We're on the record loving musicals.
00:48:54
Speaker
Every Disney movie has some kind of song in it, I feel. Right? Sure. But it's not necessarily always the character singing it. Right? Like Circle of Life from Lion King.
00:49:06
Speaker
Banger. Banger. But doesn't feel forced. Yeah, I mean, we're talking about Disney in the 90s versus Disney and in 2025. Yeah, it's just like how the mighty have fallen. Like, what the fuck?
00:49:22
Speaker
That Elio trailer came on. What are we doing? god What are we doing? Come on, Pixar. Like, I don't even blame Pixar because they're just doing the animation. That's what I'm wondering, too, because Mark Webb, I feel like, has some talent. What level of studio interference was there for this movie?
00:49:37
Speaker
Probably all of it. Crazy, right? Like, he's probably just there as, like, a name. To say like like a role player, like this you're the director, quote unquote, but this is what we want you to do.
00:49:49
Speaker
I don't know. were We're not involved in Hollywood. you can Somebody else can tell us.
Movie Theater Etiquette
00:49:53
Speaker
The negatives are going to start coming out now. A lot of the... My biggest negative is overall the movie feels... Besides the plot points and make no sense, we can get into those. Those are kind of nitpicks, I'll be honest.
00:50:06
Speaker
But the movie... um is very cringe. A lot of it is so... Oh, hold on. Stop. This is the biggest negative, is my theater experience. i told you yesterday... Listen, if this lady is listening, fuck you, okay?
00:50:23
Speaker
You are a piece of shit. It's what we call... At this podcast, a piece of shit. You are a piece of shit. Okay? I'm sick of in here. um So yesterday did a little double Decker Pecker Wrecker, a double feature at Alamo.
00:50:38
Speaker
But I went to go see Snow White primarily. I'm by myself. I'm respectful. I understand that groups come into Alamo. I get it. So I sit in the corner almost always. And these, you haven't been to an animal yet, which we'll go, but the theaters are smaller. It's like sitting in the corner.
00:50:55
Speaker
Isn't that big of a difference versus sitting in the middle. It's not like a big IMAX theater and or an AMC or whatever. yeah So I sit in the corner and I sit in the corner because if a big group comes in, i don't want to have like be that one guy with a seat right in the middle and break up somebody's group.
00:51:10
Speaker
You know i mean? So I sit down, this lady comes in with her daughter. Um, and, What looks like the vibe was brother, not really boyfriend.
00:51:21
Speaker
um And i didn't I wasn't tracking it, but I guess the boyfriend got up and like left. He was sitting with them then left. um So at Alamo, before if you get there before the show, the server comes around and will take your order.
00:51:35
Speaker
And then you... And that's it And then you order. So the movie hasn't started yet. And I had already ordered. She got there after I got there. But it still had time. move with like They were still playing their random whatever the fuck they show.
00:51:47
Speaker
Once the movie starts, you can click a button and write on a card what you want and like put it in the little holder, and they'll come by and take it. I should give her credit. This was her first time at an Alamo because I overheard.
00:52:00
Speaker
But the way she acted was fucking wild. don't give a fuck.
00:52:04
Speaker
The lights are still on. The server is still coming around. This guy comes over to – he starts walking across the theater and towards my seat to give me my food that I already ordered.
00:52:15
Speaker
She has a card in her hand, and she's waving it like this. Then the server is getting closer to me, and she's, like, sticking it in his face. Like, look at my ticket. I have – I'm trying to order.
00:52:26
Speaker
How fucking rude is that? That's wild. That's rude as You do that at restaurant? Bro, the server was like, um if you're trying to order food, you can put it in the holder and someone be over to help you in a minute.
00:52:37
Speaker
He had two hands of food between mine whoever else he was serving, right? Mm-hmm. this so So finally somebody comes over and she wants to get popcorn, water, and Sour Patch Kids. I remembered.
00:52:49
Speaker
ah um Now look, I am not trying to disparage anybody, okay, that besides this lady, about where you are financially. It's not what this is about. This is about your fucking behavior, okay?
00:53:04
Speaker
The server goes, okay, so you want X, y and Z. And she's like, well, I want to get a small of this. He's like, we only have one size. And she looks at her daughter and her and her daughter are just talking back and forth about what they want to do about they you buy the popcorn or not.
00:53:15
Speaker
Just fucking buy the popcorn, dude. It's fucking popcorn. Shut the fuck up. and Sorry. it She's like, well, it's one size, so we're not going to get it. She wanted a small. She was like, actually, she was throwing an actual tantrum because there wasn't different sizes of popcorn.
00:53:29
Speaker
So then he's like, do you want the server? We're just trying to be curious. Like, do you want still or sparkling water? And she's like, I want just normal water. Which normal water is like regular water, but like he's like, do you want to start sparkling?
00:53:44
Speaker
Right. So
00:53:47
Speaker
later, first of all, also on her phone, full brightness. When the movie starts. full um Hey, I'm on my phone in theaters. I'll say it, but I'm not full brightness. I had a guy.
00:53:58
Speaker
Full brightness. Venmoing in front of me. Mid movie. Get this. Get this. This is, it gets worse. Get this. um guy Guy brings the food over in the drinks, right? He hands her a liquid death, which shout out to Elmo for having liquid death.
00:54:12
Speaker
That's fire, yeah. I don't know if I'm okay with the fact that the can was already open. I don't know if they should be doing that for you, but he, they do give to you probably. So they don't hear the crack in the theater.
00:54:23
Speaker
Right. So put it down. I swear to God, this lady takes it and she tilts it to read it, but she didn't even tilt it like a little bit. Like she went like full 90 degree turn and just starts spilling the water all over her lap.
00:54:39
Speaker
And she just starts like, like, oh Oh, I just thought, cause she's fucking spilling water all over herself. Fucking idiot. Yeah. now Now, do you remember this? Remember the brother that I told you about?
00:54:51
Speaker
Guess where he's sitting? He's sitting in the row in front of us, diagonally with the father. And you know what happens? And you know what happens when the food arrives? She starts yelling to them while the movie's playing.
00:55:04
Speaker
Hey, the food's here. Hey, shut the fuck up. What? Are you fucking mad? bro we are in the theater. They're singing on the screen.
00:55:15
Speaker
and the kid And this kid keeps getting up, turning the coming around the row into our row in front of me to grab a handfuls of popcorn and goes back to sit down. During the movie!
00:55:27
Speaker
Was there open seats next to them? No, it the theater was packed. Okay. The fucking audacity! and she's like, you ordered this, come eat it!
00:55:39
Speaker
What?! We're in a movie! Shut up! I, bro, I was in shock. i was an I was like, I fucking wish you spilled the entire thing of water in your lap, you fucking idiot.
00:55:51
Speaker
Who acts like that? Is this your first time seeing a movie ever in your life? That's what I don't understand. why are you bringing like Why are you coming to a theater if you know you're going to talk? Also, here's the thing, right? I did say was packed. The back four rows were packed. The front three were completely open. Y'all could have sat together in one row.
00:56:09
Speaker
Why are you sitting separate? Why you ordering separate? Why are you yelling to each other? In the movie! Is it like a... um choose your, choose your seat ahead of time type shit. Or is it like, a yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys, when I, and when I bought my ticket, there wasn't many people they had bought a ticket yet.
00:56:28
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. I bought my ticket like a couple, like, uh, two hours before. So I felt perfectly comfortable sitting in the middle. Cause fuck, fuck kids. Right. I wanted no kids near me.
00:56:42
Speaker
That was my thought process. Right. But we're not fucking kids. We're just saying fuck kids. Right. Right. Okay. Learn how to act in a fucking theater, please. It's getting lawless out there. every I feel like every episode where we have a new release, we have a story about the movie theater.
00:57:00
Speaker
Or someone doesn't know how to act. And I get it. It's your first time at Alamo. But there's no reason you should be yelling across the theater to somebody else who you're not sitting with. The front three rows were open! Yeah.
00:57:13
Speaker
My row, right, was me and a dad and her daughter. We were the only three people. oh up, up top.
00:57:23
Speaker
Yeah. That was behaving like a person should in a movie theater. Okay. Sure. Behind me. And in front of me, Was the wild west Alright dad was Venmoing People in front of me Full brightness right Full brightness pissing me the fuck off People were throwing popcorn to my diagonal right Venmo dad got up Went to the bathroom So there was no parent for these kids They started giggling And fucking like Jumping up and down and shit Okay Yeah Watch your kids
00:58:00
Speaker
Watch your kids. The people in the front row. Also, watch your six. I'm fucking coming for you. I'm coming for you, dude. um but I was ready to smack his bald head. So fucking bald.
00:58:12
Speaker
I was going to fucking do it to him, dude. Just let me be mad in peace. let Yeah, let me like be able to hear my own thoughts. Let me hear the movie, first of all.
00:58:24
Speaker
Dude, I don't know what the fuck people are doing, but y'all need to get it together, okay? Or get some fucking attendance in the movie theater to watching. Well, that was the thing. I feel like people were only fucking around because the Regal that I go to now has the people that walk around.
00:58:40
Speaker
Yeah. Like people that come in every couple times. That Regal is like very nostalgic for me. It is. It's like our childhood was there. The only thing that's fucked up, like the screen, I could see the screen crystal clear. The only thing that sucks is no reclining seats.
00:58:54
Speaker
Okay, so that was the question. Are the screens there cooked, or did Black Bag just look weird? Black Bag looked weird. Okay, I thought, because we've been having issues with Regal.
00:59:05
Speaker
That's why wanted ask. And I don't go there often, so I don't know. Screen was good. Alright, we'll go back to the negatives of this movie. Gal Gadot I mean, fucking career disaster.
00:59:19
Speaker
What the what is Gal Gadot doing? Listen, Gal Gadot, I want you. I want you one. But also, i sorry. Sorry. I didn't even make you spit your drink out. Your dehydrated piss over there.
00:59:32
Speaker
um It's lipped in iced tea. It looks like piss. i don't I don't make the rules. um Hey, keep doing the modeling thing. You're gorgeous. You're a beautiful woman. Keep doing it.
00:59:43
Speaker
It's great. Stop doing movies. Just stop. Just lets let's... I think it should have stopped after Wonder Woman 2. That movie... That movie... That's a fucking... Terrible movie.
00:59:58
Speaker
ah Yeah, I agree with you. Horrible performance. Horrible. And... I read online, someone said that ah she was literally the smirk emoji the entire movie. She was.
01:00:10
Speaker
I mean, that's literally what her performance was. Her musical set piece, I was like, are you saying words? i just heard I just heard sound. It was like Seven Dust. yeah right so got sort thing right I saw this article, right?
01:00:25
Speaker
um So they're currently another knock against Disney, right? They're currently working on a Live action Tangled. Why?
01:00:36
Speaker
i like Tangled. I know you haven't seen it, but Tangled's actually pretty decent. But the live action we don't need. We don't need that, alright? I don't give a fuck about live action Rapunzel. However, there's two people that they are considering to play Rapunzel.
01:00:50
Speaker
Don't do this to me. What? Gal Gadot? No. Oh, thought you were going with that. Number one is Florence Pugh. How you doing? Number two is Sabrina Carpenter.
01:01:05
Speaker
No, you don't know who that is. No, I know who she is. We should not do that.
01:01:11
Speaker
She's not an actress. Right. She's hot as fuck. right. So that's what people are saying. Why are we putting people in the movies that aren't actors? Ariana Grande started it.
01:01:23
Speaker
Did she? I don't know. but for Maybe for women. I don't know. but like they put like however You could look at like The Rock, John Cena. Those guys weren't acting. I guess they're acting on... Are they acting?
01:01:35
Speaker
like it In a way, it's acting, right? Yeah. all right okay anyway sorry But they're not in musicals. Not yet. Not yet. John Cena gotta be in one. I'm just saying.
01:01:46
Speaker
That'd be hilarious. However... But also it'd have to be John Cena singing because if he wasn't, we'd all know. Right. Shout out Blockers. It's a great movie. Yeah, great movie. People want like actors that are not ah musical artists in these movies.
01:02:04
Speaker
And I get that, right?
01:02:07
Speaker
Like, if they if they cast Sabrina Carpenter as Rapunzel, she's going to look great. But that means it's definitely 100% going to be a musical. And I don't like that. She's got a good voice. But my only thing is, right, maybe you should probably hear them sing before you cast them.
01:02:24
Speaker
Because Gal Gadot, one, I don't think her accent helps. Nothing against her accent, right? Not hot. But her singing voice was atrocious. I don't even think the tone or the pitch was bad. I was just like, what are you so like what are you actually... i don't know what I don't know what you're saying. It's that thing of like...
01:02:44
Speaker
I don't work in the music industry but per se, not even for at all. I don't. But like certain certain musicals and like pieces, when you're listening to it, the voice is not like very clearly the voice and the instruments are the instruments. It kind of just sounds like a jumbled mess.
01:03:02
Speaker
That's what Seven Dust sounds like. All due respect to Seven Dust. But like it is the same kind of problem of like it just all sounds the same. So they're like they're not mixing properly. So what you're saying is you're for Sabrina Carpenter to play? I see the pro because she's a singer, so she'll actually sing good. i get I get why you'd want to cast her as that. But she's not an actress.
01:03:22
Speaker
She's not. don't even think I had a problem with Ariana Grande's acting in Wicked. I think it was fine. Yeah, she played her part. She was annoying, but that's her role. now was her That was the role. Right. Florence Pugh is a great actress.
01:03:34
Speaker
Who does serious shit. Right. Can she sing? don't know. Yeah, she could milk me. All right, that was rude. Both of them can fucking milk me. like That's how it is. You call me the milkman.
01:03:45
Speaker
All right. um The other thing that I didn't like how was handled, and um I mean, one more than the other, um because it kept getting mentioned, but her mother, why even have a mother in the movie?
01:04:01
Speaker
Her parents have no fucking reason to be in this movie at all. Literally, she died. And the way she died was just like her reflection in a in a well vanished.
01:04:12
Speaker
Like she got snapped. And then like there is no sense of like grieving her mother's passing any of it. It's just not there. And then like the I think the mom literally had one line.
01:04:24
Speaker
Yeah. The dad disappears, which we find out that the queen killed her him to the kingdom. And the way they unravel all that was fucking terrible. Fucking stupid. there There was no reason for it.
01:04:35
Speaker
No reason. So with the dad, because I did want to i did want to bring this up. Let's start from the... Beginning in how it twists and turns and doesn't do it right.
01:04:47
Speaker
So they say that he... First of all, I'm not saying I wouldn't get cucked, but this man got cucked by Gal Gadot. I also would probably get cucked by Gal Gadot. Also, if my wife died and Gal Gadot walked in, hey, how you doing?
01:05:05
Speaker
So she kind just takes over because she's a baddie. And then the story is like he goes off to fight her. Or fight who? Who did he go to fight?
01:05:17
Speaker
They didn't say who he fought, but he was like kind of like protecting the kingdom. He went with the army. But he didn't really make a stand for like his... Because like she was she wasn't running it right or fair, as we should say.
01:05:28
Speaker
um So then he dies. We don't really know why he died or what he was fighting for. um And then there's that whole scene where... the what we call it? The queen? The witch?
01:05:40
Speaker
she hires She hires a huntsman, which is Idris Elba Light. Sorry. That was kind of that was kind of disrespectful, but let's be honest. um To kill Snow White.
01:05:53
Speaker
And then she's out there picking apples. And he's like, you don't know the truth about your father, but you have to run now. And she's like, well, wait, what's that thing about my dad? And she's like, he's like, run now. Get out of here. Go.
01:06:05
Speaker
And he's like, hey, can we get a little more? Can we find out a little bit more? Then... be fair why fair, that happens in the OG, but... Nothing about the father.
01:06:17
Speaker
But the OG is 1939. So like, or whatever year you said, it's the, but we know we we've they're gotten better at telling stories. i hope, but in in the OG, there's nothing about her parents at all.
01:06:27
Speaker
so it no they' protest and oh So it made them dumb and useless in this movie. And all and the only person she talks about is her father the entire time. Kind of like Harry Potter with his dad.
01:06:39
Speaker
Yeah. I got to find my dad. Every my dad's out there. I got to find him. So then,
01:06:46
Speaker
There's this weird scene after she eats the apple, right? So she eats the apple and she dies, quote
Snow White Story Analysis
01:06:56
Speaker
unquote.
01:06:56
Speaker
ah They don't explain. I guess everybody knows that the kiss is like breaks that whatever. What's the difference between that and Sleeping Beauty? I don't really get why that we did this in two different movies. They do mention it.
01:07:08
Speaker
The queen says like, oh, the only, don't know why she turned into Snape, but. how Yeah, I don't know either. The only way to bring her back is true love's kiss or whatever. And it like shows Dickwad in the dungeon trying to get out.
01:07:23
Speaker
Maybe, maybe ah the lady next was talking yelling to her son. ti Probably. ah They did mention it, but I don't get it either. But the wildest part is that she's in this, like, she's like unconscious or whatever. The dwarves just sitting there and and she wakes up and it's like, my father was a drinker.
01:07:45
Speaker
Literally gets and is like, my father. you were just in a coma. like What? what Who told you anything while you were out cold? What were those dwarves whispering your ear?
01:07:58
Speaker
Right. Were they like, all of a sudden it's just come clear. Like, Oh, he got murdered. What, like, what are we doing? It was dude. when that happened, cause I knew I was going to pull that. I was fucking laughing so hard.
01:08:12
Speaker
That was amazing. Cause she's got, she's like, my father, who gives a fuck about your dad? And, um, I also hate the queen's death.
01:08:26
Speaker
is fucking atrocious. Talk about the most anticlimactic ending ever. The most generic way to kill somebody. She literally got Thanos snapped. Yeah.
01:08:36
Speaker
Like she started disintegrating. She got sucked into New York. Yeah, like Voldemort in the first Harry Potter movie. I don't know why they didn't keep the original ending. Share with us the original ending. Cause i don't remember.
01:08:50
Speaker
Um, so snow whites, like fucking comatose. Right. Yeah. And the, in the original, she's still like the old witch. Okay.
01:09:01
Speaker
So the, the dwarves are like, fuck this bitch. Right. So they go after her and chase her up this cliff. Right. Right. Okay. So like they go up this cliff and she's like down here and they push a giant ass boulder on top of her and fucking crush her to death.
01:09:18
Speaker
I'd enjoy that. One of the most, it's like iconic. Probably not the CGI budget.
01:09:24
Speaker
not Probably not, right? Yeah. They probably used it all on the dwarves. I agree with you. The the end was so fucking stupid. She got like evaporated into the magic mirror.
01:09:36
Speaker
Right. would Shout out to that magic mirror for sucking her off. um yeah yeah what i was going to yeah What I was going to say is it reminded me of ah almost like Violent Night, like ah like Snow White with Santa Claus. She's like, Timmy, you are a baker.
01:09:51
Speaker
George. You are a blacksmith. And they're like, yeah. yeah And then she's like, all right, I'm sick of this. I'm just going to run back inside and talk to the mirror again. Which all those scenes were kind of fucking stupid.
01:10:04
Speaker
The mirror looked good. I'll the mirror some credit. the mirror looked fire. I hope they use that mirror for Shrek. Five. That's true. Yeah, they should. That'd be cool. He looked good. yeah ah What else do I have here? I have some nitpicks, and I guess it might be the story, and I know...
01:10:22
Speaker
It just doesn't help its case, right? So Snow White, ah when she when she's banished from the castle and she finds the dwarves home, she goes in this house, lays in bed, and goes to sleep.
01:10:37
Speaker
The dwarves come home and she's shocked that somebody came home? You're in someone... You walked into somebody's house and you're shocked that somebody came home?
01:10:52
Speaker
Yeah, in the in the original, she likes... You know how their like names are written on their bed? Right. like She audibly like goes through them all, and she's like, oh, um you know like who I wonder who lives here. So like she knows someone lives there, but then she's like, fuck going to take it.
01:11:10
Speaker
It's bad plot, but it's more than we got in this. Yeah. She knows that someone's living there, but she's still like, fuck it, I'm tired.
01:11:21
Speaker
Right. Yeah, I'm not really a fan of that. And then when they when they wake her up, they're like, oh, one the people that come out here are bandits and criminals.
01:11:34
Speaker
And immediately she isn't like, movies fucking do this. Where it's like, just say the obvious thing to clear your innocence. And be like, i'm not a I'm not a criminal. I'm Snow White. The queen is trying to kill me.
01:11:46
Speaker
She's like, oh, I gotta go. Who would say that? I don't know. who would say that Be like, oh, I'm the princess. You know who I am? Yeah. You ever heard of me before? Maybe? It's just like, I don't get why movies do that.
01:11:58
Speaker
Like, just say the obvious thing that everybody would say in that moment. So then they're on your side immediately. Right. um
01:12:08
Speaker
It's kind of really all I have about this movie. It it just... We didn't mention it's a two-hour runtime. Why? no reason. It doesn't need to be long of a movie. The story, you didn't really add any value to this. You're not making a part two.
01:12:23
Speaker
Like, why are we doing this? Imagine part two, Return of the Queen. Yeah, not great. um I really, as far as a rating, I really wanted to give this a half star, but I just can't.
01:12:39
Speaker
Um, because and I've caught it. Unfortunately, it's like watchable. I'll never watch this again. No, either. But I was just bored. I was, it's just, it just comes off as like, so cringe that, um, that opening like singing piece they did was, was one of the cringiest things ever watched. And then Rachel Zegler is like good in certain moments. And other moments like, why is it so cringe? Um,
01:13:05
Speaker
Like when they fall in love, i I already hate don't like like romance movies. Really. I'm not like into that kind of thing. Their whole romance was just so like Harry Potter level cringe. Right.
01:13:16
Speaker
So cringe. Even more. Oh, you're helping me out. I love you now. Yeah. What? And like they're all like teasing. it that she's um I can't give it a half star. i don't think it's that bad.
01:13:28
Speaker
Half star is a new level, but this movie does actively make me angry. um So I'm probably going to give it a one.
01:13:38
Speaker
I'm giving it a star and a half. The half is just because every time the dwarves were on screen, i kind of was entertained.
01:13:52
Speaker
Sure. The dwarves were cool. Even though they were CGI, we could just use real people. Right. I'm trying to think this is worse than my star and a half. I don't think i might not be.
01:14:08
Speaker
Like, is this worse than Joker? Folia do. I guess it isn't. um I mean, Joker, or fo this is like a silly, stupid movie where like Joker, folia do is like trying to like be serious, make serious social commentary.
01:14:24
Speaker
Do I lower my Joker Fully Ado rating then? I'd probably watch Joker Fully Ado over this. I also would, I think. That was the movie that stuck out to me as like ah as like a landmark of where i should be ranking this. Is it musical? well Joker Fully Ado is barely a musical, but yeah.
01:14:42
Speaker
No, I'm probably going to give it one star. This is currently the worst movie of the year for me, I think. This is worse. i will say this is worse than the Mufasa movie. And that movie was AIDS.
01:14:57
Speaker
Literally. Little AIDS. Movie literally gave me AIDS. Yeah, this would this will be the worst movie of the year so far for me. It can't get much worse, right?
01:15:10
Speaker
Screamboat can't be worse than this. Minecraft cannot be worse than this. I don't think I... i
01:15:17
Speaker
Minecraft looks like the the animation style and the trailers and stuff looks good. That's why I'm like kind of convinced it could be decent. That's what I'm worried about. The the graphics look enjoyable.
01:15:27
Speaker
Like what are the odds we come out with a three or two and a half? it It might be. And just because it's going to be cringe. Don't get me wrong. It will be cringe. Yeah.
01:15:40
Speaker
But it might be fun. Cringe. We'll have to find out. Also, I still do not abide by a movie's fun, so it's good. Sorry. gave Joker fully a do a one and a half as well.
01:15:53
Speaker
Yeah, i think it's going to want for me. I might have to get bumped up to a two because I'd rewatch it. Might bump Joker fully a do to it two? Yeah, because I would rewatch it over this.
01:16:06
Speaker
Yeah, I'm sticking with a one and a half i and giving this a one. I wanted to give it a half. I just can't. It's not teeth. Yeah. It's not Baskin Case 3. It's not unbearably bad. It's bad, but it's not.
01:16:20
Speaker
I mean, I did want to leave the theater several times, and I was laughing at it, not when it was trying to be funny. So there's that. um Oh, Mark, ah this is probably better than Arcadian, though.
01:16:33
Speaker
Interesting. I haven't seen that.
Introducing Novocaine
01:16:36
Speaker
We'll transition over to Novocaine, an actual good movie.
01:16:43
Speaker
I will be honest here. i This movie was the AMC mystery movie ah like at the beginning of the month. So I haven't seen this in like close to three weeks.
01:16:56
Speaker
I'm not fresh on it. And this is a way better AMC unseen than the Penguin lessons that you and I walked into. That's fucking terrible. we hit We hit the credits and walked out.
01:17:07
Speaker
I mean, I knew from the trailer what it was going to be. So AMC does the $5 mystery movie. You can, you know, it's a, you pay five bucks and you don't know what you're going see, but they give you the runtime, which Masomenos.
01:17:20
Speaker
And the trailers were like all these indie movies, which nothing wrong with indie movies. Shout out to them. But I knew it was not going to be fucking no, uh, amateur. Yeah. Yeah. Rough. I mean, I'm just going to say, it was it?
01:17:33
Speaker
Yeah. Not great. I don't give a fuck about penguins, dude. No, I mean, I do, but like, how is it? All right. Oh, I care about the penguins like the animals. Sure. Sure. Just that movie. Just I could not give it a fuck about.
01:17:45
Speaker
ah Novocaine is directed by Dan Burke and Robert Olsen. Dan Burke has not much going on. Who that boy, who him is. And Robert Olsen is the same. I'm not going to actually have actually done the exact same movies together.
01:18:03
Speaker
Oh, okay. That bunch for the two of them. But now they got a Novocain under their belt. that's good. I'll read your cast. ah Jack Wade plays Nathan Cain. Jack Wade of Companion. He's low-key.
01:18:16
Speaker
Would you give it to him? He's got like the nerd, like the nerd. Andrew Garfield vibe. Yeah. I'll give it to him. all All right.
01:18:27
Speaker
He's been in all sorts of shit. Oppenheimer, Spider-Man. What is this? a Across or into the Spider-Verse? Across the Spider-Verse. Hunger Games. Multiple Scream appearances. Companion.
01:18:38
Speaker
Logan Lucky. He was in Rampage, which is a Yikes Kebab Jerry. Oh, the rock movie? Yeah. yeah yeah uh we have amber mid thunder who plays sherry his love interest she is a piece she's fucking hot dude i almost i almost clicked plug it in plug it in um she was in she's the main bitch from prey prey hell or high water
01:19:12
Speaker
Dream Scenario, Novocaine, Opus, which is out now. I haven't seen it yet. She's in 14 cameras. You seen that? It looks fucking horrible. Oh, this is 14. I know. I've seen 13 cameras, not 14.
01:19:26
Speaker
13 cameras is decent. um that's She plays Sherry. Ray Nicholson ah of Smile 2 fame.
01:19:37
Speaker
This is Jack Nicholson's son. going to say, is that Jack's son? It's Jack's son. I do think he could play Joker. I said what I said. He's from Smile 2. Most famously, Licorice Pizza, Novocaine. He's into Benchwarmers.
01:19:49
Speaker
Interesting.
01:19:52
Speaker
He's also a piece. He can fucking get it.
01:19:56
Speaker
We have Jacob Badalone, Ned. From the MCU. He's in several Marvel movies. I'm not going to read them all. He's in Tara, which I heard was terrible.
01:20:07
Speaker
He's in Novocaine. Ooh, he's in that fucking Netflix movie, Lift. That's like a half-star movie, I'm pretty sure. He's in Bloodfest, that fucking Rooster Teeth movie. Excuse me? It's irrelevant.
01:20:19
Speaker
Okay. but Rooster Teeth is interesting. um We have Betty Gabriel plays Mincy. I believe she's a cop. That's going be a skip for me. That bitch that got shot.
01:20:32
Speaker
kill um Who else we got here we want shout out? Anybody big? I guess Matt Walsh because he plays the other cop.
01:20:43
Speaker
Shout Matt Walsh. Plays Coltrane. Elf, Hangover, Ted, Step Brothers.
01:20:50
Speaker
I Love You Man. Good movie.
01:20:54
Speaker
Um, yeah, Novocaine, I was optimistic for from the early trailers. I was like, this is probably gonna be a fun movie. And I think it delivered 100%.
01:21:05
Speaker
ah hundred percent Yeah.
Novocaine Review
01:21:08
Speaker
So a lot of movies nowadays, do you feel the same, are just kind of trying to ride the wave of like John Wick movies? Right. Like the fast, fast paced action, you know?
01:21:20
Speaker
Yeah. um The ones that come to mind are like nobody, which I haven't seen, but you said it's good. Nobody's good. um What else?
01:21:32
Speaker
Oh, that fucking movie. Love hurts. Probably was trying to do that. That came out this year. I didn't see that. Her was bad. People said the monkey man was supposed to be like that, but it wasn't really.
01:21:43
Speaker
I disagree with that. A hundred percent. No way. Yeah. No way. Jose. Shout out Jose. Who's got that general vibe. Right. um i have I have mainly positives this movie, I would say.
01:21:57
Speaker
Nice change of pace. This was really enjoyable. Didn't have an annoying theater experience, so that's good. i do think... was like being like five other people. I got to give it i gotta give it the IP credit. This is actually something original.
01:22:11
Speaker
A guy that has a disease where he doesn't feel pain is interesting. um I really enjoyed... i mean, the humor was was good for the most part. um The theater liked it. I don't know if I liked it, but a lot of the theater enjoyed it.
01:22:24
Speaker
I didn't laugh that loud, but ah in my head I was like, oh, that's funny. I get it. um i What I liked most is it felt like his character obviously didn't fit the bill of like somebody who'd be going around beating people up.
01:22:37
Speaker
ah But he has like this tactical or like kind of book smart knowledge and he's able to use things around him to... like Very intelligent guy. Like the EpiPen for adrenaline.
01:22:49
Speaker
He's yeah, I'm allergic, but get adrenaline out of it, which you see get used twice. That's badass. The whole tattoo scene where he tattoos the address on his hand because he has nowhere and he has no pen, which is kind of silly, but fun. And shout out killing a fucking Nazi.
01:23:04
Speaker
Fuck him. A literal Nazi. Yeah. Um...
01:23:11
Speaker
The, I think some of the shock value this movie hits, there's the, I wrote breaking thumb. When that thumb gets like fucking snapped off, right?
01:23:24
Speaker
He like snaps it to get out of the ah handcuffs. Right. Like Gerald's game, but not as bad. right I thought he was going to de-glove himself. and And then the defibrillator at the end was great too.
01:23:36
Speaker
I thought that all worked very, very well. Oh, the he the one guy like snapped his arm so his bone was sticking out. And then he used the stuck out bone as like a knife to like slit that guy's throat.
01:23:49
Speaker
Ugh. gross. The gore in this is good. I'm pretty sure it's CGI, but... It is. it's It's well done. It was fun. Fun gore. um That's what i wrote. Gore looks pretty good. I like the...
01:24:06
Speaker
The twist, I guess, I think some people will say it's obvious, but that Sherry was in on the bank heist job. I actually liked that. I did too. It didn't seem um just for plot.
01:24:23
Speaker
Also, Nick, put this in the beginning. We're going to spoil the fuck out of both these movies. Yeah, we didn't say that. Yeah.
01:24:31
Speaker
Yeah.
01:24:37
Speaker
I think yeah the third the third act, I feel like really like ups the ante with the gore and the violence, and they really commit to it. um The only real negatives I have for this movie are Sherry like towards the end when she has like a change of heart and decides she wants to like stay and be with...
01:24:59
Speaker
I guess we're going to call him. It just seemed kind of like a limp dick. Like, oh, I guess I'll do it. Like, oh, the wind's blowing this way now. So I'll do this. Yeah. It basically was like, oh, because the guy that, you know, essentially is the mastermind pretty much.
01:25:15
Speaker
Yeah. Ray Nicholson. ends up being it's it's her brother right um she pretty much just kind of changes her view because she's like oh fuck my brother now like he's turning into a dickhead so i'm gonna help out nathan also the reveal of like i was coming to get you because i thought we were in love that reveal and like ray nicholson like just laughing in his face was fucking great Yeah. um He was aus kind of comedic relief, but he was good at it.
01:25:48
Speaker
You thought Rachel Wilson was comedic relief? I thought it was little i thought i thought Jack Quaid just kind of always plays that kind of character in a lot of the stuff. He was kind of like the cocky prick, but like shooting out like one-liners every once in a while.
01:26:04
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I mean, him and... and Jacob Balatone Roscoe is his character name. I think both... I think Jacob Balatone Ned is always put in movies for comedic relief and they're not that funny.
01:26:22
Speaker
But the kills were... I mean, the kills were creative. they They did a lot of different things. Granted, a lot of them were in the trailer. That scene with the fryer and the gun in the front... Like... and the like We saw all that. I wish you kind of kept it to yourself. Granted, they did have the shock fight at the end with the defibrillator and the thumb and that arm that you mentioned.
01:26:42
Speaker
Like, they don't show you that. um Other than that, the only shout out to something you won't know and half the people listening probably won't know, but my current favorite pop artist, Chapel Rhone, had a song in this. Very unexpected.
01:27:00
Speaker
Shout out her.
01:27:02
Speaker
Shout out to you. The only thing I didn't like was the end ah where they kind of like apprehend Simon is his name in the movie, Ray Nicholson.
01:27:15
Speaker
And then like, they're like, all right, we got him. And they just get and walk away. And he just gets him starts shooting people. And it's like, oh, I thought the movie was over, but now we're going to go on an ambulance chase. Yeah, we're doing false finishes.
01:27:27
Speaker
False finishes. Nobody's kicking out of fucking tombstones out here. That's fucking bullshit. Okay. I don't know. I really enjoyed my time with it. It was original action. was fun.
01:27:39
Speaker
um And it wasn't anything that Snow White is. wasn't bad. No, i um i'm I'm going to give this a four. I think I'm at four. I thoroughly enjoyed this.
01:27:52
Speaker
I think I'm at four when I walked out. And now I'm probably three and a half. It might be a fourth. watch it again. I haven't seen it since March 5th or whatever. It's been a minute since I've watched it.
01:28:05
Speaker
But I did have a good time. I like the the marketing. Even the poster is pretty fucking sick. I'm a little worried that they're going to turn it into like a franchise.
01:28:18
Speaker
i mean they're making nobody to. They'll probably make more of these. Yeah, they're not going be as good. Yeah, I know, because nobody can be John Wick. You don't have Keanu. So, sorry. No, that's I mean, that's I mean, there there are some the all time like choreographed fight scenes is like if it's not John Wick or a foreign film, you're probably just not going to beat it.
01:28:42
Speaker
that's the thing. Like John wick is very, um, martial arts esque in fight scenes. They've coined it. fucking love martial arts movies. They're so fun to me. I mean, I, I can't speak on, I'm, I'm missing a lot of blank spots, but for me, the raid is the only movie that tops John wick as far as a martial art movie.
01:29:08
Speaker
The fight scenes and in the raid are fucking insane. If you haven't seen that movie, go fucking watch it. The raid is top tier. The guys that are in the raid, they they cast it for John Wick 3. Go watch a Drunken Master 2 with Jackie Chan. There's a 20-minute fight scene where he fucking goes into hot coals like for realsies.
01:29:31
Speaker
Like for realsies.
01:29:35
Speaker
um Yeah, three and a half.
Year in Film Reflection
01:29:40
Speaker
Very good movie. So I'm going to say it's it's cracked the top five, which isn't very hard because this year's been fucking schlop. Big fucking literally little fucking schlop this year. I don't know what the fuck people are doing.
01:29:51
Speaker
I still got I don't think this is better than presence.
01:29:56
Speaker
Hmm. I get president ah I get presence a four.
01:30:01
Speaker
They're different movies. Very good. They are. Yeah, I don't think I don't think it's beaten that. It might be better than Peter Pan's Neverland Nightmare. Possible.
01:30:11
Speaker
I'm to at three and a half I got to rewatch all that. Shout Umbrella for releasing that physical media. I called that, by the way, like on that podcast. We talked about it. Well, it just makes sense because I did the Winnie the Pooh Johns. Right. Yeah.
Social Media & Giveaway
01:30:24
Speaker
yeah Do you want to do a little?
01:30:28
Speaker
Where's the button? Plug it in. Plug it in. So follow us on Instagram, TwoGuysOneScreenPod. Send any comments, concerns, movie requests to TwoGuysOneScreenPod at gmail.com.
01:30:40
Speaker
Follow us on TikTok. YouTube popping off. Shout YouTube. Letterboxd. It says we have more subscribers, and I don't know who they are, and I can't see a list. So I'm sorry to all of you who are subscribing, and we can't shout you out. If you're subscribed on YouTube, shout you out.
01:30:57
Speaker
Yeah, you're shouted out. ah send us a voicemail 5088 fist us you can fist me 5088 dip tip and be sure to go to the instagram send us an email and send us a voicemail to be entered into our harry potter schtick snitch funko pop giveaway We're giving it away. People were giving it away for free. We'll pay shipping. What the fuck? You're literally going to pay $0 for this. I was was wondering though, what are we going to put as a return address? Because I'm not giving out my address.
01:31:37
Speaker
That's very concerning. but We could talk about that off pod. We'll have to figure that out. Um, ow. Yeah. Thank you all for listening.
01:31:48
Speaker
Um,
01:31:50
Speaker
Let us know. The fuck is up next week is Goblet of Fire episode 44. forty four um Don't really listen to what I I don't know why I'll probably just cut it, but I keep announcing the next week and then we don't do it. So I'm just going to start cutting those out um Goblet of Fire and the week after that, assuming all goes well, we are covering Minecraft um and Screamboat with our man David Howard Thornton.
01:32:19
Speaker
Screamboat has a very limited release, so... We're just going to keep hitting you with Double Decker Packer records every week. um Yeah, we'll see you guys next week for Goblet of Fire.
01:32:34
Speaker
Toodles. Fuck you, Mark. But not Mark from Bandit. We love you. Shout out you.