Transcript
Speaker: There's no right way to do it.
Speaker: Oh, we're going to get into it. What up moms? My name is Candice and I am here with my bestie Whitney and this is the mom group chat podcast. hi Hello.
Speaker: You just reminded me, I'm seeing your little tarot card book and a girl popped up on my Instagram today. and she planned i think it said 42 dinner parties in 365 days did you see this at all no they are fabulous i have got to find her name i started a dinner party pinterest board i i know it it is so cute um spite Wait, is it like, is it tarot? Like what made me the tarot thing? Well, she a tarot card party. Sorry. Okay. And it and she said that she got canceled for a week because she pronounced it wrong. I wonder if she said tarot or something.
Speaker: And so she was like, this party was so beautiful, even though I was like canceled for it. Oh my gosh. Send her to me. I've been sent it to me, Paolo. I, um, crumbs of NYC and they are so fabulous. Like she did this. Um, Oh wait, hold on. Sorry. You have jogged my memory because I saw her one That is a cake. And she made the jewels out of jello.
Speaker: Wow. Nuts. That's crazy. I'm inspired. did one that was all about the U.S. Open. She did like a tennis one. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. I mean. And it was so cute. She's cute. I'm like, okay, you stepped up the game, girl.
Speaker: I just saved something to my new dinner party Pinterest board that I made. And it was a muumus and margaritas party where everyone wears muumus. But it's like fabulous muumus. Not like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. ah Like a caftan. You know what i mean? yeah Yes. Yes.
Speaker: Caftan muumus. Fur, feathers. And it was so cute and fabulous. And every year I say I'm going to do a dinner party for my birthday and I never do. And this year i know we're only in August. But according to you, it's Christmas. So I got to get on it. Or it's Halloween, as you would say. No, it's Christmas now.
Speaker: We've moved forward. I got to start thinking about it. So I've been saving dinner party ideas to figure out what I want to do. But honestly, tarot, you guys know I've been into tarot cards. And actually, wasn't going share this on the pod, but we're here now and here I am. I joined a tarot 101 class. It actually starts today. Here, look. Here's my journal.
Speaker: That is so funny. ca in It came in the mail. That is so spooky. I know. It's very – well, it's um run by Spellcrafter, which is a local – it's local to St. Pete. they're like a They're kind of like a witch store, honestly. It's like – Candace's.
Speaker: She's a witch. But the other day when you were like, you're going to turn into a church person. ah Here we go. Like, this is how it begins. Whitney on Saturday night on eight, eight, I literally was doing a lion's gate moon ritual, like a witch in my office. I was like, I promise you, but I didn't want to say that to you. Cause I would, I felt like you would be like, okay, now I'm freaked out. Because like now you're a witch.
Speaker: Yeah. I like the witch thing better. My kids go to Catholic school and I'm also doing Lionsgate ritual in my office manifesting for Lionsgate Portal. So like I cannot be boxed. Okay. You cannot put me in a box.
Speaker: um But yes, I joined a Tarot 101 class that I'm so excited about. It's like a hobby for me, you know? So I am really excited to learn more and to like get better at my practice. And yes, so maybe my birthday party will be a tarot thing and I do a tarot card reading for everyone there.
Speaker: It's beautiful. um I feel like if you're a witch, you would be a mermaid witch. Like I just see you as a mermaid. Yeah, I definitely am not an evil witch. like a...
Speaker: I'm like a fairy witch is how I like to think. Oh, okay. You're going fairy. i I see you as ocean. Oh, okay. I like that. I like that. Sirenus.
Speaker: Oh, okay. You are. That is so cute. Dude, my eyes have been, you, I feel like you passed me a cold through the microphone because you told me you weren't feeling well and you had a tickle and you weren't, you were feeling kind of crappy last night. And last night I was going to bed and I was like, wait a minute. I've got a sore throat and I've got drippy down my throat. And today my eyes are so watery. and My nose is watery. And I'm just like, Oh no. Yeah. it's I felt like mine was like a quick cold summer cold, but I feel better today.
Speaker: Think good. But it was, it was taking me down bad. I got medicine and I'm feeling better. Okay, good. I might have to, i might have to,
Speaker: Start taking me something if if I don't feel better, because like I'm like, it's the first day school. I'm just getting used to this new schedule. I'm trying to have a good productive day today. OK, I was thinking like I haven't been sick in so long. And then I was like, no.
Speaker: I was sick after the 4th of July. Just like it wasn't bad, and which I feel like all my things are. Like I'm getting like daycare crumbs. And so I'm getting like a slight drainage once a month.
Speaker: It used to be worse, like where I would be like, I feel bad. Mm-hmm. We're coming out. where They've been in school for so long. i know that back to school, though, is going to affect daycare because people have older siblings and they're going to be spreading. So in about a month or two weeks to a month, we're all going to be taken out.
Speaker: I'm pretty sure. For sure. ah i'm I'll be so interested to see how evie does because oh obviously alice's like first back to school like starting school at two was tough and like lots of sicknesses but evie's like already been around alice and yeah so i'll be interested to see like how she does and how remember when you did daycare for like a second And like we literally made it six days total and ended with a hospital stay of pneumonia. Yeah, that's not funny. I'm sorry. But that was like wild. LOL.
Speaker: Yeah, it was crazy. It was crazy. ah But yeah. No, today, i mean, Whitney already knows this because we voice note every morning, but I had my first day of double drop off today and it was so nice. And, uh, it was just like 10 out of 10 experience to drop both my kids off and to be back at home by like eight 45. Well, a little bit later, cause I did I did treat myself to Starbucks this morning, but um to be back home and like already starting my day without the unknowns of my mother. Love you, mom.
Speaker: But sometimes. just concrete. It's the one good thing about daycare and school is it's consistent. So that's good. Totally. Totally.
Speaker: I'm so glad though. we're in a new rhythm. Yeah. We're in a new a new era. I'm really excited about today's episode. We're doing something different. We're doing something fun.
Speaker: Which I love. ah love a little fun sesh. So I saw another creator do this, not for a podcast format, but for something else. And it was to let ChatGBT interview you.
Speaker: Which is our brother because we're mom group chat and ChatGPT is our brother. Yes. And so today we are letting ChatGPT interview us. I have prompted it to run a full interview with us and ask us any questions.
Speaker: To be honest, like, I talked to Chachi Batia an arguably concerning amount. um And I would say that my chat in particular, like knows way too much about this podcast and our lives because I'm constantly talking to it. It does help me with our show notes. I do write them and it just edits and makes it a little more.
Speaker: you know, yeah like concrete. um So today today's interview is run by ChatGPT. We're going to see how many of these we get through. It gave us a lot of questions. I have not read through all of these. I skimmed and I was like, okay, wait, this is actually kind of good. um It's a mix of things. It's a mix of like our motherhood. It's a mix of like our friendship and like ah the show. so i get nervous when can you see it before me. I'm like, oh God. You're really going in blind. i know. I like that. no
Speaker: It's fun. um So shall we just dive in? Yeah. Okay. Okay. It starts with a warmup, it says. And it says, give me your current motherhood status in three words.
Speaker: No explaining until you both answer. Okay. Okay. Okay, I'm going so basic. Okay. And it's it's a phrase rather than like three separate words. I'm going with brand new era because we're starting school.
Speaker: it Oh, it says I'm not allowed to explain until you answer. Sorry. Go ahead. Well, yeah you have to do your three. I did. Brand new era. Three words. Mine are stupid, but guy I'm going to say loved, proud, and happy.
Speaker: Aw, that's sweet. see see See, that's what I was saying. I was saying that mine's a phrase. The three words make a phrase rather than three separate words. I was like sort of listening because I was trying to think of mine myself. So I'm sorry. to get I get it. I get it. I get it. Just because we're starting this new era of them both in school and it feels like a new beginning.
Speaker: um And I'm excited about it. That's great. um I just said loved because I feel like my kids are really good about like giving hugs and Margo's super cuddly still so I love that.
Speaker: Proud because they're trying lots of new things going into the fall and then you happy because they genuinely make me laugh like they're so funny so they make me happy.
Speaker: Love. Okay. Next. What is something you swore you would never do as a mom that is now a completely normal occurrence in your house?
Speaker: Everything. um I was going to say, I could think of 17 things for this answer. Literally everything. I said I would never put Margo in big bows. LOL. I said that we would eat really good foods and they'd learn like a healthy habit of eating. We don't do that. Um, we watch TV all the time. um we, I will say we don't do like iPad, which is like yeah one thing we pulled away. So that's a win, I guess, for me, even though here, how here's a larger screen for you to watch. No, we're the same way though. We don't do iPad at all unless we're on a plane. It feels better to have the other device. I don't know what it is. There's less of a control. Like I feel like they feel control over the iPad, which is like feeds a false sense of control thing. I don't know. That's my own thinking. But but I mean, truly everything
Speaker: Yeah. I would say my biggest answer is probably sugar and sugar intake. I thought, oh, we're not going to have lots of candy or sweets or like sugary snacks.
Speaker: Bitch, it's Candyland in here. Like, we live in Candyland. I know. And I should have known. That is like so my dad. My dad's the sweet tooth. So we had all that stuff. Like, we had oatmeal cream pies. We had, like, all the little, like, snacky things growing up. Chris is a freak about sugar. Like, my God. i vinnie and i have had so many conversations recently it's like we've got to change the culture around sugar around here it's not me like i'm not even super into sweets it's just vinnie and yeah and honestly the grandmas have something to do with that which we need to have a conversation about but yeah okay these next i know over that i know
Speaker: Okay. These are a big list of rapid fire. Like which one of you is more likely. Okay. Okay. So I've never done that. I know. And there's like 10 of them. So we're going to rapid fire. Okay.
Speaker: Over pack for a two hour outing. Candace. Me. For sure. Okay. forget Forget something absolutely essential. Okay.
Speaker: I think both of us, based on what we talked about in the last episode, need. I mean, truly. brain. think both. Yeah. yeah Volunteer for something and immediately regret it.
Speaker: That's me. I mean, holy moly. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going regret it. I don't like making like tons of plans. i'm I am go with the flow, ho Yeah. um Have 47 unread texts.
Speaker: I feel like that's probably it. I stay. am constantly in Online on my phone. I there are many times i ignore what's going on on my phone. So that's probably me. ah Spend $150 because you just ran into Target.
Speaker: Me. That's you for sure. Cry at a preschool event. me yeah candace yeah yeah not if it's it's it's a christmas program that's gonna be me that's gonna be me yeah or both or the maybe the first day of drop off other than that no Yeah.
Speaker: Lose her patience first. Me. I don't know. You think? I feel like could either. Depends on the situation.
Speaker: i i can get there quick Yeah. i I mean, I feel the same way. Okay, cool. off So I keep wiping my eyes. It looks like I'm crying if you're watching. if But I'm sorry. I'm not crying. It's just have leaky eye syndrome today.
Speaker: um Apologize to her kids first. Both. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I feel like we're apologizing all the time. i just feel like we're both. I'm sorry. So good about.
Speaker: I don't know, holistically looking at what happened and then knowing. I think that's also like a good um millennial parenting style is like recognizing that you need to talk to them after an explosion happens.
Speaker: I agree.
Speaker: Say, we need to get together and then never make a plan. Candace. Yeah. That's me. For sure. I've been trying to drag her ass up here for months. I know, but that's ah that's a money thing for me. Okay. Sadly. Fine. Fine.
Speaker: um Sorry, if I had the funds for a $400 flight, I would. i just don't. I will make plans and I will begrudgingly go and be so happy I went.
Speaker: You'll cancel. You'll be like, I can go. Yeah. i yeah I'm more likely to cancel for sure. Which is like Kylie Jenner's stick. So you're Kylie Jenner, basically. and Yeah. um Okay. Actually survive best on a reality show.
Speaker: You. Oh my God. That is Candace. She's our star. She is going to lay it all out there. I would, if I was on a reality show that got kicked off, I would get kicked off immediately.
Speaker: Can you imagine if I was on a dating show? No, you could never. because could hate. Never. You hate making out with people. And that you would be expected to immediately. And I'd be like I don't know this guy. He's touching other women. like I'd be pissed off.
Speaker: Oh, my God. I can't even think about it. oh my God. That is funny. Okay. Next question. We're out of the that set of rapid fire.
Speaker: ah it says, what is your most irrational current mom annoyance? Not a serious problem. Something stupid that sends you over the edge. Oh, my God. I thought of this last night. Okay. Okay.
Speaker: It is the fact that my son is almost five and he doesn't know how to ride a bike. And although it it came over me like a wave of rage that Chris hasn't been practicing with him.
Speaker: I don't know why. i thought I thought to myself, why isn't Chris like, OK, at granted, we live on a hill. so it's So it's a little effort is required here. Like we would have to go to a flat park to practice or like a parking lot.
Speaker: All of a sudden, this rage came over me that biking was such a big deal for Chris, but every eight night he's tired or like he just doesn't have the initiative to do that. And all of a sudden, I just started ramping myself up, getting mad about this. And I was like, he doesn't even know.
Speaker: that I feel this way. That is so funny. right I mean, Alice doesn't even like know how to ride a tricycle. We never get on bikes ever. That's what I'm saying. And I'm like, I mean, he, he should know how to ride. I mean, when you you should be like five and learning. I feel like really, I feel like it's like eight.
Speaker: No, no, I learned at five. And i remember being one of the last of my friends. yeah Well, now I feel behind. I got stressed about it. I'm telling you. An irrational anger came over me. That's a boy job. That's a dad job.
Speaker: That is 100% a dad job. 100%. The fact that he hasn't thought of it sooner. Pissed. I think we could do a whole funny episode on dad jobs.
Speaker: That's a job for dads. Victoria calls it a blue job. That's a blue. And I'm a pink. That's so funny. um What is my current mom annoyance? I mean, I feel like it's all the basic ones. I guess like right now, Evie is in her why phase. Why?
Speaker: Why? Or what's that? What's that? And, oh, it's so draining. It's like, I love that she's such a curious cat, but like, my God, if you ask me why one more time. And like a lot of the times it's something that I have no explanation. Like really that's just the way it is. Sorry. Like, I don't know what to tell you.
Speaker: um Graydon gets to the point because they do that in the car. Ask a lot of questions. It's like my one like time I get to like really talk and gab with them and Graydon will finally go. Margo stop talking and I'm like Graydon you are the same way my guy you like y'all are little chatterboxes oh my god that is funny Evie is chat me it's funny Alice is chatty too but like Oh, my God. Evie chatty, chatty McGee these days. She doesn't shut up. Literally. Graydon went last night and Chris looked at me like, I'm about to go to a psych ward. Like, he won't turn it off. He just, like, fills the space like my mother. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God.
Speaker: who Okay. It says, round two let's discuss your friendship. It says, what is something Whitney is a genuinely better mom at than you Candice? And Whitney, same question for you about Candice. So what do we think the other is better at as a mom?
Speaker: I know my answer for this. i talked about it. I think that you are so good at like being silly and like having a lighter response to like play and silly. Like you're just better at being silly. and like, I just think you're you're a more fun mom than I am probably. Like just because you're like sillier.
Speaker: But thank you. But I think you're also fun. Like, oh my gosh, that's why I love you so much. And we have so much fun together. But... I guess if I had to pick something, i like, okay, the fact that you let Evie like play in your makeup, and I feel like you're just a a great girly mom, like I will never have that in me to like,
Speaker: I don't know, allow them. I don't, to to even touch my makeup, that would freak me out. Like, I don't have a lot. Like, you can't, you can't be touching my low supply of makeup. And I just feel like you do a good job of, like, let them.
Speaker: You know, I do. Yeah. I think it's funny. Like I, I know we've talked about this before. Like I'm type A in some things, but like, I think ultimately like I am a pretty type B person. Like, and especially when it comes to like mess and stuff, I feel like I'm kind of like, it's fine. You're good at that.
Speaker: like Like I just let him You you are going to like allow them to have like that whimsical, joyful childhood because of it. Cause you let them.
Speaker: Thanks. That's so good. That's so nice. Okay. What do you think the other person worries about as a mom that she actually doesn't need to worry about? Oh my God. That's hard.
Speaker: I mean, we talked about it, but your comparison to others, you're so good at everything you do. And it's hard to not get wrapped up in social media when you yourself are trying to have like a space and presence to do that yourself. But it's so funny. Ever since we had that episode, I'm like, it really is bringing down the vibe. I don't know why. yeah Yeah. Ever since you mentioned it, I'm like,
Speaker: oh my God, I'm exhausted the push from everybody. oh my God. Everyone's is like three things I'm doing. This is what I'm doing. It's just constant. it's Which yeah everyone's trying to make their coin. Everyone's trying. I mean, yeah it's not, I mean, it's not even just influencers. I'm like, oh my gosh, like what happened to like old social media? and i have a part i just I'm a part of it.
Speaker: I know. It's, it's hard. It's like inescapable, you know? Mm-hmm. um I mean, one thing that comes to mind that we've talk we talk about so often is that you are like so hard on yourself and hard on your I'm never going say this. Girl, you are hot. And like you do not need to worry about it. You are...
Speaker: Slay the house down, boots, body. Body is tea. You do not need to stress about that as much as you do. And you're so hard on yourself. And I wish i wish that you could see how hot you are and like how hot I think you are. So self-deprecating. I like won't take pictures with my kids a lot of times because of it.
Speaker: Because it will piss me off, ruin my mood. Ruin my mood. So crazy. Hate that about me. Yeah. wish you didn't worry about that too I'm comparing to everyone else. Yeah. you know Totally. i get it. i get it. When you first became friends, what did you misunderstand about each other?
Speaker: oh and this is easy for me. Yeah, I know what you're going to say about me. thought you were like best friends with one of our roommates and I thought y'all were basically a package deal. And I was like, Oh, I'll never be like as close to them as they are. Like I'll be their side buddy. And then I found out like Candace was her own human and she actually was having like strife with her. And so I weaseled my way in and like scooped in and became Candace's best friend.
Speaker: i was like, Hmm. Thank God. You locked it down. Yeah. But it wasn't spring. That's not what I thought you were going to say, actually. No, I thought it was, I mean, it wasn't until spring. oh you thought i was going to say you were so nice. We've talked about that.
Speaker: Well, no, no, no. I mean, I am nice. That's hopefully not a misunderstanding. But I thought you were going to say that I was like super outgoing and love being around people all the time, but I actually need some alone time. That's what I thought you were going to say. but it's not when first you. Oh, true, true, true, I get what you're saying. I learned that.
Speaker: later. i think that I might say that I thought you were quiet at first. Like I thought and like, girl, you are not quiet. it's so spot on though with everyone I meet.
Speaker: Yeah. Like I remember meeting you and being like, oh, this quiet little blonde girl's friends with Desi. And then I got to know you and I was like, oh, wait, she not quiet.
Speaker: That is the consistent can consistent thing I hear from everyone. Yeah. Yeah. keeping to myself. What's a way your friendship has changed since starting this podcast?
Speaker: I mean, probably get to talk to you even more. What I was going to say, i was going to say, actually, like we talk more than ever. So actually, if anything, this podcast has just strengthened our friendship and like our communication. yeah,
Speaker: so Yeah. Like it's changed for the better. Honestly. It's been so nice to like ride the wave with someone I'd say yeah like so lucky that it's you. um Just like going from.
Speaker: having the same vibes of like having at in college into like dating and she was in New York and it was so fun like having her there and then like I popped up to Rhode Island and she moved like we've been like we've moved around and then started families and and don't know and had kids so it's just been like nice to ride the wave with somebody.
Speaker: Yeah. That I'm so close with. Yeah. I don't feel like we've missed a beat ever. No. so And like, yeah, starting this podcast, like we – it's – our friendship has only gotten stronger and better, honestly. And then I feel like, honestly, like losing Shannon in the middle of all of this, like only brought us closer too. Like I have such a deep appreciation for you as a friend. Like I just – Yeah. And that's like losing Shannon gave me that perspective with all of my very good friends. I'm like, oh my gosh, like every relationship I have with all of my friends is so special. And so.
Speaker: Agreed. All good things. Okay. We're in round three, apparently, according to Chachi. team Round three. It says the motherhood questions I actually want your answers to. Okay. What part of motherhood right now feels easier than it did a year ago? And what feels harder than a year ago?
Speaker: Um, my kids are so much more independent and i e have said that also. It's also like a summary thing for them. Like they're very good kids in the summer. There's no sickness to add into like the fold really. Yeah. um They're happy. We swim, we get popsicles at night. Like everyone's in a good mood. Um, and like I said, they're so independent. I was literally talking to my Botox girl about this. Like,
Speaker: It is so nice when you're at a friend's house and the kids can all go inside and play and you're like, okay, they aren't going to throw themselves off the stairs. They're yeah not going to cut their body open. They're not going to get in the scissors drawer and play with it. Like, it's just like nice that they are growing up and I love it.
Speaker: Love, love, love the independence. yeah thing that's hard margo is entering three i just talked about her like rolling into tantrums a little bit like finding her voice which it's really not that bad i now as a second time mom no it's a phase um yeah but i'd say like that grayden's getting a little attitude he's almost five he's learning bad words at school like It is what it is.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, my answers are so similar. It's that like, like I think to be even more specific, something that feels a lot easier than a year ago, it's leaving the house and like just being out and about with them. We could go without strollers. We could go with, it doesn't matter. I could go with just my purse and a diaper in my purse. Like i just feel like leaving and like being out in the world with them is so much easier than it was a year ago.
Speaker: um Like diaper bag who? don't know her. um And then what feels harder is just the tood all around. Oh, and I will say the girls are like fighting more than ever. Like it's sisters. Like they love hard and they fight hard. And I don't have a sister. So I am navigating that.
Speaker: And i want them to – Mind fight. Horrible. Yeah. Also, something that I would love, like, I don't know. If you have sisters, please DM me. We need a sibling dynamic person on here. We Desperately. We do. We really do. Honestly, writing that down because we need that.
Speaker: That is my biggest strife is that yeah they egg each other on. They're so minor, so competitive with each other. And I want to foster sisterly relationship where they like rising tides, raise all ships, you know, like I want them to cheer each other on and like, but I feel like right now they are so fucking competitive of who's better, who's getting better. And I'm like, how do i break this cycle of like competitiveness? How do I do that? Yeah.
Speaker: It's just been hard. I'm just kind of letting that roll. I separate them. And I'm like, you go this way. You go that way. oh my gosh. Because I cannot handle the constant fighting.
Speaker: Yeah. Okay. New, if you are sibling dynamic, I don't know what the credentials for that are. would that even be? But, like, let's talk. Yeah.
Speaker: Okay. Moving on. Ooh, I like this question. Who were you trying to be as a mom when you first had kids and do you think you're still trying to be her?
Speaker: I know my answer to this. Okay. I feel like I was trying to be the like do it all volunteer. Like I want to be super do it all with them. Like and even like when Alice started school, like I was like reaching out to the homeroom mom and like wanting to like, how can I help? And I, the, they had the school she goes to had said they were like looking for parents to like volunteer for social media to like take pictures at events and like post on socials. And I was like, Oh, I can do that. bu buth
Speaker: And, and like signing up for things that I definitely didn't have time for. um, I just have come to realize like I don't really want to do that anymore. Like I just it's not I don't have my capacity is so low for that. And I'm just like I think I want so badly to be a type A mom. That's that's it. That's actually it. If when I first had kids, I wanted to be a type A mom. I wanted to do everything perfectly. I wanted to.
Speaker: And like that actually isn't me. Like I'm not a type A person. I am really actually type B and or type C because there's certain things. I don't know. ah But I'm not trying to be her anymore. I'm okay with them not looking perfect all the time. I'm okay with not volunteering. I'm okay with doing the minimum sometimes.
Speaker: Yeah. I don't care.
Speaker: I love that. And you are all those things. um For me, i don't think I had expectations. I never really thought about what it would be like other than like just trying to mimic the only person that... I grew up with, which was like my mom. Like I was just trying to be and create, or I always kind of thought ah forward.
Speaker: Like I imagined them kind of older and just like celebrating the big holidays, making a big deal out of birthdays. Like I'm very much a traditionalist, traditional mom. Um, I'd say where I like to celebrate all the big things and all the big holidays.
Speaker: But other than that, I am I was like the tired newborn mom. i didn't want to do anything. I envy the people that get out and a about and still having hang out with your friends like kudos to you. I was a lump on a log.
Speaker: yeah Very tired mommy. And now I feel like I have my energy back. And i don't know. I just I would consider myself like very traditional in that way. Like I want them to be into sports.
Speaker: I don't know. What's something you're doing differently with your youngest than you did with your first? I feel like I'm doing less with her than I did with him. Yes. Same. 100%. I mean, hot out literally potty training is the perfect example for that. Like literally I'm just not doing it because I don't have the time. um i just like, I feel like with Alice, I did so much research and so much prep and like proactive. I was so proactive. Whereas like with Evie, I just handle things as it like comes to a head and I'm like, okay, I guess I got to do this. Like I got to tackle it. I just feel like I had so much space as a new mom for like really enjoying doing all the firsts.
Speaker: Like everything was a big deal. Everything was like so important. And now like with Margo, I'm kind of like you. I'm like, it just kind of naturally happens. And she's ended up being the more laid back kid. Maybe just because I'm not pushing all this on and all these expectations on her like I did with my first. And I don't know. I feel like I do less. I like, um, Graydon was already into like some sports and stuff at that point. And we haven't signed up Margo for one damn thing. She did swim lessons for like two months.
Speaker: We haven't signed her up for dance. We haven't signed her up for anything like, and I feel yeah so guilty that I'm just like, I feel the same way. We haven't done anything with Evie either. And like other than swim,
Speaker: and swim is more of a necessity here in Florida. Like we just have to, yeah. Like we have to learn how to swim. Like, you know, um, but yeah, I have, I'm the same way. It's again, it's proactive versus reactive. That's the big difference for me. I was so proactive with Alice and with Evie. I'm just, I'm handling the punches as they come. And something also I've learned, like, I'm just not like a super like I am sentimental, but I'm not so like, oh, she's my last. Like, I'm I'm just not. So it's not like i tried to cherish anything more. i was just trying to get through to the other side. And I've just like learned that about myself. Some of my friends are super sentimental and I like love those parts of them. And I'm just so forward thinking. Yeah.
Speaker: I would say I'm similar. I'm not a super sentimental person either. That's why we buy. I know.
Speaker: Okay. Round four things you've said on this podcast, dot, dot, dot. um So it's like referencing things we've said or talked about or just asking questions about the podcast.
Speaker: Okay. That's wild. Is there any opinion that you've shared on mom group chat that you would like to formally retract?
Speaker: I don't know. Sometimes I always think like when things were hard with Graydon, is he going to hear that one day and like not understand until he's a dad?
Speaker: And I don't want it like, I worry so bad. I don't ever want to like hurt his feelings. I'm like so third child in that way where I don't want to hurt like anyone's feelings. And I'm also... peacekeeper.
Speaker: Yeah. So like that's maybe my only thing is like when I was in the moment feeling so like overwhelmed and I was saying it out loud I'm just like I don't want him to like think he wasn't loved because I was frustrated. No he definitely will know he's loved for sure but I i feel the exact same way. i I think my answer to this is the like disappointment I shared when I found out I was having another girl um So normal though. Yeah. like like i don't I think that those feelings are so valid. If you have ever had gender disappointment, I think that they are valid. But now i am so obsessed with being a girl mom and like I cannot envision anything else. And i love it so much. like Of course the universe gave me two girls. like Of course. i
Speaker: like No one is more fit to be a girl mom than me. You deserved it. Yeah. So like, i just, I look back at that disappointment and I'm like, i like, I give myself the Ick. I'm like, ew of course you're a girl mom. Like, duh.
Speaker: just so normal. I think that is such a normal reaction. and i think a lot of people go through it, even if they don't say it out loud. So yeah, you were just spreading the word.
Speaker: Yeah. It always ends up. Okay. Like everyone always feels the same way. Yeah. True. True. True. Um, Okay. What's a hill you've died on on this podcast that you still stand firmly behind?
Speaker: I mean, feel like I'm... hate newborns.
Speaker: Damn. Go for the jugular right there. so funny. This is a mom podcast and can't do it. I was not made for that. Yeah. Whitney and newborn stage like are not... They do not mesh. like And I said this recently, not because I don't adore, love my children.
Speaker: It's me mentally. I'm unwell. Yeah. Yeah. It's like how you feel during the newborn stage. Like now when people tell me they're pregnant, I shiver. And then I'm like, no, this is a good thing. It's a good thing. Yeah.
Speaker: It's not me. yeah Yeah. shiver thinking of me. Yeah. Um, gosh, what is a hill I've died on on this podcast? I mean, the thing that comes to mind is like, take the girls trip. Like, that's the thing I preach on here. And actually, hey gene I know.
Speaker: But I, I will say someone um at or my sister in law at the bachelorette party, we were like, floating in the ocean, just, you know, chatting with all the girls. And someone asked if I was sad to be away from my kids. And I was like, honestly, no. And Olivia was like, you know, one of the things I admire about you, Candice, is that like you are a person that like preaches, like leaving your kids and like getting away and having that time for yourself. And you like actually do that. Like you're not just preaching it. And like you, like you're someone who,
Speaker: like lives that and whatever. and she was like, it's really admirable. And I, I, she was like watching you leave the girls and live your life. Like makes me want to do the same as, as a mom. And I do want that to like,
Speaker: It doesn't mean I love my kids any less, you know? No, you love them so much. It's yeahs the where you if you pour everything you are into your kids, you will have nothing left when they're living their own lives. 100%.
Speaker: I've seen it happen to a lot of people. And as hard as it is to like get your foot out the door, like you're really just like doing it for yourself. You have to remember you're an individual. one hundred Yes, you created the best thing that's ever happened to you. But I just think they will come back at holidays, but they are going to grow up, get married And if you are smothering them, they're going to run away.
Speaker: You can't smother. You got to be cool, baby. You got to be cool. So true. So, so, so true. um Okay. What is something you've talked about on this podcast that you still cannot believe you made public?
Speaker: Hmm. Wait, hold on. I'm just thinking of something that the listeners don't know that about you that has come to mind. What?
Speaker: We can cut this, but this would be so funny. What? Do they know that you once got your nipples pierced? Probably not, Candice.
Speaker: That is hands down the most like that is the closest thing to me thinking that Whitney was having a psychotic break. Like she called me the next morning. It was like, you're never going to believe what I did last night thinking she just like ate too many cheese gordita crunches or something. But no, she got her fucking nipples pierced. I cannot express to you. How out of character that is for Whitney. williams We can keep it in. I don't care. um It was that is something the listeners don't know that you needed to know. And I'm so happy that that just came into my brain just now.
Speaker: Well, now I have to really like shove one down your throat. I feel like I've let it all hang out. I know. ah Damn it. ah um Yeah, well, that was one nipple.
Speaker: Oh, sorry. One nipple. It was less than 24 hours and I did have... It was a Thanksgiving treat, a Friendsgiving treat, me and a group of girls.
Speaker: Okay, wait. Now I'm having so many questions about this because that was before you ever had kids, obviously. Was like there any issues breastfeeding because you had had a nipple pierced? No, I had it for like literally less than 24 hours because I FaceTimed Candice the next day and she brought me back down to earth. like She was like, Whitney,
Speaker: It doesn't sound like you. And I go, you're right. And I ripped it out. Ripped it out. Oh, my God. It's so funny. i felt badass, like, for doing it. Like, I think Kendall Jenner had one. and You did it for the plot, I think.
Speaker: It was just like it was a it was a movement like with everyone was like thinking about getting one. And I was like, well, I'm going I guess. Like the I was making new friends and I was like, I'm not going to be the bitch. So I went, took it out.
Speaker: That's so funny. the um You're evil. I love it. I think it's important that they know that you've got like- I had a bad side. You had a little like you had a rebellious moment. I love it. And I chopped my hair off. I was having like a rendezvous. don't know. was very interesting. So funny. I did the crisis there for a second.
Speaker: but yeah Okay, wait. I like this question. if I- and this is like chat GBT saying this. If I pulled every episode transcript and made a compilation called Candace and Whitney being completely delusional, what recurring topic would have the most clips? Yeah.
Speaker: I don't know about the delusional part. I was just thinking of like what recurring topic would have the most click like clips. And I think it would be, gosh, I think it would be like, i don't know if this is good or not, but like, I think it would be body talk about us complaining about, yeah about our bodies and like talking about how we feel in our bodies.
Speaker: And I was going say, yes I feel like we talk about drinking a lot. you're so right. Which I don't know is like a good thing other than like we are like we're outside of being moms like we are very social like fun people so I feel like it comes up a lot.
Speaker: I always wonder if people think we're secret alcoholics. If you do please know that we're not. We're just social fun girls who love a margarita and a martini and a wine and a
Speaker: and ah and ah And a Cosmo and ah everything. No, i like everyone in my life could test could testify that I actually don't drink that much.
Speaker: Yeah, for sure. I agree. i do. but But you're so right that people probably think. Yeah. If you listen to this, please comment below if you think that we are alcoholics. Or if we talk about it too much. Yeah, we talk about it too much.
Speaker: Okay, I like this one to end. It said, finish this sentence. motherhood got better when I stopped blank. Oh, I know. I think. okay I think for me, and I didn't learn this until they got a little older, but but it was like when I stopped following the rules of like sleep, eat. Like I'm a very calendar schedule person. And when I finally like they got to an age where I felt like I could let it go, i became...
Speaker: a more calm mom more fun i wasn't so strict I felt myself like building up moments like if I was out with friends like I was i would be the first one to leave no matter what and like they joke about that with me now because I was like so tied to a schedule like it felt so good to like let that go Yeah.
Speaker: Mine is similar, not so specific, but like mine is just like when I let go of, or when I stopped like trying to be type a and like trying to make everything perfect.
Speaker: Life is so much lighter when you don't give a fuck. Like, ah sorry, but it's true. Like, and one of the things I tell my husband all the time, because my husband is way more type A than I am I always tell him like in the grand or I always say one of two things. I say this is small potatoes, which means like this isn't a big deal. Like and then I also say like in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter, which is, you know, big picture doesn't matter. Right. So when I stopped like trying to make everything like mean something or like be perfect is when life got so like motherhood got so much better.
Speaker: I agree. Yeah. It's so easy to do that. Also, I'm just now like thinking my family didn't know I had a nipple ring. So, hey. oh I can cut it out for real if you want me to. kind of funny. Just don't clip it. I beg of you. Okay. Well, Hannah, if you're listening to this do not clip the nipple ring.
Speaker: Even though I like shoot out of the screen.
Speaker: ah like ran a lap around the house. Oh, my God. is That is so funny Oh, well. So funny. Well, this was fun. I feel like it had some good questions. was great. didn't even get to them all. So if we ever need some other topics. But honestly, doing this has – and even motherly advice the other day. like It gave me ideas for new for some new things we should talk about. I love it.
Speaker: Sibling. If you know someone who's a sibling expert. That's what I want to talk about. i need a counselor help. I need a referee. Yeah, for real.
Speaker: For real. All right. Love you guys. Love you. Thank you so much for being a part of our mom group chat. New episodes drop every Tuesday. And don't forget, the group chat is blowing up on our Instagram page. So make sure you're following along over there. All right. Got to go. My toddler just put something in her mouth.
