Transcript
Speaker: One, two, boobies.
Speaker: One, two, boobies.
Speaker: One, two, boobies.
Speaker: One, boobies.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Hi everyone, I'm your host, Molly Ryder.
Speaker: Welcome to the podcast, More Milk Please, baby feeding stories from Moms Plus, like me and you.
Speaker: This podcast is designed to be a safe space for women plus to come together and share baby feeding stories.
Speaker: Whether you are expecting or thinking about having kids, a mom, non-binary, an aunt, grandma, or a caregiver, you are welcome.
Speaker: because we hear it all.
Speaker: From breastfeeding and pumping to tube feeding, bottles, formula, frozen milk, and weaning, our worldwide community is here, connecting over some of our most nerve-wracking and intimate moments.
Speaker: I am so glad you're here, dear listener.
Speaker: Oh my goodness, my mom's plus.
Speaker: I hope that you find connection and belonging as you listen.
Speaker: And if this podcast or me or our guests or the stories mean something to you, it would mean the world to me if you'd be willing to take 30 seconds to rate and review the podcast.
Speaker: It helps new Moms Plus find us so these stories can support even more baby feeding adults in
Speaker: out there in the wild world of parenting.
Speaker: To do this, just go to the More Milk Please show page on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or wherever you listen to podcasts, and just hit the plus sign in the top right-hand corner.
Speaker: Of course, the more stars you're willing to give, the better.
Speaker: And I so appreciate hearing your thoughts.
Speaker: So if you could please leave a comment, that'd be amazing.
Speaker: I check and read them all and feel immense joy over each one.
Speaker: So thank you.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: So much love and hugs.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: I'm so excited because I am interviewing a dear friend of mine and fellow mama, Andrea Perdue.
Speaker: She was a huge support for me during my pregnancy and really during that first year with my daughter, when breastfeeding was such a challenge.
Speaker: In fact, Andrea came down from Seattle to join me in my first ever cross-country flight with my daughter, Luna.
Speaker: Luna was only three months old, but it was so much fun and it was way easier because she was there.
Speaker: So Andrea, I still like, that's still one of my favorite memories.
Speaker: Thank you so much for coming and thank you for being here on More Milk, please.
Speaker: I'm so excited to have you today.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: Thank you for having me.
Speaker: And I have to tell you, it is equally one of my favorite trips.
Speaker: And I think about Luna and you all the time and how we had such a good time on that on that trip out.
Speaker: So, yes.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: So let's dig in.
Speaker: And can you introduce yourself and a little bit about your family?
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: So as Molly mentioned, my name is Andrea Perdue.
Speaker: My family is a little bit more of a blended version than it was when I had my son 15 years ago.
Speaker: So there are five of us now and we're in the Pacific Northwest area.
Speaker: So it rains a lot here, but we range from the ages of 22 to 12.
Speaker: So we have an older family of kids at this point.
Speaker: So for some of you mamas out there that are just moving into this, I thought it'd be kind of cool to hear what I figured out as we were thinking about what I was doing when my son was little, but
Speaker: Also, how much help and support having a spouse, my spouse has been and what a different change in my life has happened since then.
Speaker: So we're really loving it.
Speaker: And I wouldn't I wouldn't have it any other way.
Speaker: This has been the best experience.
Speaker: Yes, yes.
Speaker: And it's just so helpful to to like get that perspective of time.
Speaker: I was talking to talking to another mom who her daughter, I think was 12.
Speaker: And she was saying, you know, my daughter is fine now.
Speaker: Whatever happened when we were breastfeeding her formula feeding her back then, like great now doesn't matter.
Speaker: We don't.
Speaker: But I have to be honest, Molly, it was very hard in the beginning because people don't say that to you.
Speaker: There's really a piece out there of every mom that wants to do whatever it takes.
Speaker: And if that means that you're not sleeping at night, which is almost, in my opinion, more important than maybe having to pump or to feed because you can't do both at the same time kind of a deal.
Speaker: So I totally agree with her.
Speaker: And I will advocate and say this is the same thing.
Speaker: Nothing changed.
Speaker: She's fine.
Speaker: He's healthy.
Speaker: He's the doctor told us the other day, Chase is on the trajectory to be like 5'11 to 6'2 and everything's great.
Speaker: So we can attest that that is a true statement.
Speaker: Excellent.
Speaker: Excellent.
Speaker: I like I like the additional data we're collecting.
Speaker: I didn't know you guys could interject that.
Speaker: That was super cool.
Speaker: So, yeah.
Speaker: Awesome.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: So before you had your son, Chase, I'd love to know a little bit about like what your breastfeeding or baby feeding knowledge was.
Speaker: Did you do any research?
Speaker: Did you rely on just hearing from other moms?
Speaker: What was what was that like?
Speaker: So my I'll start with saying that I have siblings that are 10 years older than me.
Speaker: So my sister's breastfed and they did it for the first year of my nephew's life.
Speaker: So I was very involved with them just because I was about the right age to be that auntie.
Speaker: So I had a lot of experience just from a like integration perspective and family.
Speaker: After that, you know, babysitting, stuff like that.
Speaker: Like you knew about formula.
Speaker: When I got pregnant with Chase, I decided that I was going to breastfeed because obviously my sisters did it.
Speaker: So why wouldn't I?
Speaker: And I did go to the classes that they offered in the area to like pre-prep moms.
Speaker: And then we did, you know, it was 15 years ago.
Speaker: So there wasn't as much coming at you as there is now.
Speaker: But we did have like the pamphlets.
Speaker: And when I go in and see my OBGYN, I would, we would talk about just like what we were doing to prepare for it.
Speaker: I will offer though, I was going to be a single mom.
Speaker: I was a single mom, but like I knew at the time I was going to be a single mom.
Speaker: So a little bit of the whirlwind of what, just trying to get to work
Speaker: trying to get to the doctor's appointments, trying to keep myself healthy so I can keep my baby healthy.
Speaker: That felt like there was a lot coming at me.
Speaker: So Molly, you've mentioned, you know, as you when you had Luna and all the information, it was kind of, I felt that way a little bit more when I was pregnant than I did after I had Chase.
Speaker: So my remembering of like what people told me about breastfeeding or bumping or bottle feeding or formula was more like, yeah, yeah, okay, those are options.
Speaker: And that was
Speaker: kind of where I landed.
Speaker: I'm like, great, we'll figure it out when we get there.
Speaker: So yeah, yeah, everything you're trying to like set everything up and all the things and then preparing for birth.
Speaker: It's like, really?
Speaker: Oh, my God.
Speaker: I'm like, wait a minute.
Speaker: Well, and watching my sisters, I kind of always knew I'd be okay to breastfeed.
Speaker: Like it was, it was very, it wasn't easy, like in the in that sense.
Speaker: But we also didn't we didn't fight like to have milk produce or any of those pieces like so many women do.
Speaker: So that was just kind of where my brain sat in the back of my head.
Speaker: But I
Speaker: And I got lucky enough that that did happen.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And with your sisters, are you close?
Speaker: Like, did they share stories or were you just there when their babies were born?
Speaker: Like, how did that come about?
Speaker: All of it.
Speaker: My sisters have always been very close.
Speaker: They're amazing women.
Speaker: And I, to this day, aspire to be as good of moms as I believe that they are.
Speaker: I think that they have done a very good job.
Speaker: All of their kids are so well-rounded and kind and wholehearted and just the integrity that you feel come out of these beings.
Speaker: I'm like, whatever these women did to create these people, it was the right sauce.
Speaker: We were very close.
Speaker: And I stayed with them during the summers.
Speaker: My sister lived next door when one of hers was very little.
Speaker: So I
Speaker: I don't think I actually attended any of their births, but I was definitely around a lot in the infancies.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: For all of them.
Speaker: That's awesome.
Speaker: I love that.
Speaker: Yay for auntie time with the littles.
Speaker: And we're still very close.
Speaker: I'm going to age myself here, but they're in their 20s now.
Speaker: And we're all still very close.
Speaker: I talked to three out of the five of them almost on a weekly to by daily basis.
Speaker: That's how close we are.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: It was a really neat situation.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: I want to jump in now to your birth.
Speaker: How did it go?
Speaker: Did you, did it go as planned?
Speaker: Did it not go as planned?
Speaker: Tell us about the moment.
Speaker: All the dirty details.
Speaker: I was due October 29th through the 31st.
Speaker: I'm not sure if we have any viewers that are really astrological people, but apparently my body likes the full moon and October 13th and 14th was the full moon that year.
Speaker: and my water broke and it was like one o'clock in the morning.
Speaker: Mind you, again, I'm a single mom all by myself.
Speaker: At that point, I'd already nested.
Speaker: I had my bag ready.
Speaker: Like we knew that- Oh, good for you.
Speaker: Like I had a four week like trajectory.
Speaker: I was spending a lot of time alone, Molly.
Speaker: I had a lot of time to like sleep.
Speaker: I think I've joked with you in the past.
Speaker: Like, I don't know what it would have looked like to be married because that requires a lot of energy with another human, right?
Speaker: So I would literally just sleep on the weekends and clean.
Speaker: So luckily, in that sense, I was ready.
Speaker: My water broke.
Speaker: I got up and I was like, I need to go to the, and I mean, we all know when your water breaks, it's not really going to the bathroom, but you're so confused because you're asleep and you're not sure what's happening.
Speaker: So I called my son's father who came immediately to take me to the hospital.
Speaker: We have a good relationship as friends to this day.
Speaker: And I get to the hospital and it's,
Speaker: 1.30 in the morning.
Speaker: I call my mom.
Speaker: She shows up in a half panicked stare.
Speaker: She's a little similar to your mom when it comes to her kids, Molly.
Speaker: So very much like my kids are my life.
Speaker: And I was then in the hospital for about seven hours and he just sat there.
Speaker: And he was like, oh, I'm good.
Speaker: And he was not moving at all.
Speaker: So they put a Pitocin drip in about 7 a.m.
Speaker: And between 7 and probably 5 p.m., it was some of the worst pain I had ever felt in my life.
Speaker: And I will offer, I'm not a pain person, but when something gets to the point where you want to throw up, I feel like it's a little bit intense.
Speaker: So about 5 p.m., they finally gave me my epidural.
Speaker: I am a huge advocate for natural.
Speaker: I am a huge baby for pain.
Speaker: So I did an epidural.
Speaker: I've also heard that Pitocin contractions are like very painful and in a very different way than that.
Speaker: So that is what I've been told to.
Speaker: I have to be honest.
Speaker: I don't know that I had contractions that weren't that.
Speaker: So I don't know what the difference was, but I do giggle because I did walk in thinking, I'll probably be okay.
Speaker: It'd be uncomfortable for like 20 minutes.
Speaker: No, five to seven hours of those Pitocin contractions.
Speaker: I was like, and I'm good.
Speaker: So
Speaker: Similar to as motherhood is, you have to make a decision and call it good and be okay with the decision you make.
Speaker: So I had an epidural and then I went to bed from 7 p.m.
Speaker: to 5 p.m.
Speaker: and I took a nap.
Speaker: I literally kicked everybody out of the room and went to sleep.
Speaker: Who does that?
Speaker: Like, is that a thing that you've heard in other stories?
Speaker: Because my mother just shook her head at me and was like, of course she went and took a nap.
Speaker: Oh, see, I apologize.
Speaker: I probably woke up about 1130 because Chase was born at 1203.
Speaker: But it was really, I have to go to the bathroom.
Speaker: They're like, no, you don't.
Speaker: You need to bear down.
Speaker: I pushed seven times and I had a baby.
Speaker: And he was screaming and he was happy.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: I don't know that I've ever shared this story with you because everybody's story is so different.
Speaker: I try really hard not to like glaze it over because I don't know what your story is going to look like.
Speaker: And I would hate for you to walk into the hospital, somebody, and you think that you're going to push seven times and have a baby.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: He was screaming and he was, you know, all the icky colors and he was beautiful and they laid him on my chest and he just stopped and he heard my voice and he like, I just, to this day it makes me cry.
Speaker: And like, he just,
Speaker: He was just fine.
Speaker: And they cleaned them all up and he was just perfect.
Speaker: So they got them all cleaned up, given back to me.
Speaker: And within the hour they had me breastfeeding, he attached, no problem.
Speaker: Like I didn't think I was going to go home and have any issues.
Speaker: Attached, he ate every time he wanted to eat with that colostrum.
Speaker: He was attaching to my nipple.
Speaker: We didn't have any like, the lactationers came in a couple of times that I could like lean a little bit different, but he was like a rock star in the hospital.
Speaker: I don't know if it was because he was so new.
Speaker: He was just trying to get whatever sustenance he needed.
Speaker: Or we all were just in a really safe environment, but it was great.
Speaker: Like it was like, it was no big deal because I was a single mom and I had never done this before.
Speaker: I was like, are you going to ask me to go home since I had my son at 12 o'clock in the morning?
Speaker: And they're like, no, you can, you're going to stay a whole nother day.
Speaker: So I stayed one more all day so that they could just be with me and we could get prepped.
Speaker: And then we headed home that next day.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's so amazing.
Speaker: Congratulations on the seven pushes.
Speaker: It was seven pushes.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I hear a lot that like, just even because with the epidural, you can't feel so well that it's hard to like, even know what you're doing.
Speaker: But I, I felt pressure.
Speaker: I don't know if other moms have told you that, but I did feel the pressure and the need to like, to bear down, which is like to go to the bathroom, right?
Speaker: I don't know if that's because my epidural was starting to maybe wear off a little bit or but I did feel pressure the whole time.
Speaker: And I could feel from the top of my abdomen down when I needed to push.
Speaker: And I thought that was slick because I'm like, my nature is this amazing thing, right?
Speaker: I was able to just do what it needed to do.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, that's so cool.
Speaker: And I love that he latched right away.
Speaker: Oh, he was, he was into it.
Speaker: He was like, here, that's fine.
Speaker: I did twice about it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Did your milk let down right away?
Speaker: Or was that a challenge at all in the hospital?
Speaker: I think no, I think about midday that day, it let down.
Speaker: And I mean, again, everybody wants to hear the story that I had in the hospital.
Speaker: Yeah, my milk went down, he latched like he was supposed to, I think I needed two stitches.
Speaker: All the things, right, that like you would hope for as you're thinking about birth.
Speaker: I had a great care team that were just amazing.
Speaker: So while we were in the hospital, everything ran like a storybook story.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: Well, we'll, we'll hold on to that moment.
Speaker: I do hold on to that moment.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: So let's zoom into those, you know, like those first few days at home and that first night, how did that, how did that unfold?
Speaker: So that first night was actually okay.
Speaker: He continued to latch.
Speaker: We got home, let's say six o'clock ish.
Speaker: My son's dad stayed with me so that I had somebody there for safety.
Speaker: He was in a bassinet that was right next to me.
Speaker: And when he was hungry, he'd get up, he'd latch.
Speaker: It was the day after that all of a sudden he was not latching anymore.
Speaker: So we spent about 12 hours trying to feed and he was just screaming, right?
Speaker: Cause he was so hungry and so frustrated and I'm just crying.
Speaker: And my son's dad had left to go to work.
Speaker: It was, it was just one of those like perfect storm situations.
Speaker: So yeah,
Speaker: randomly my mom and dad called and said they were in town and I just started crying again and they're like we'll be there in five minutes and they were which was a little I'm like were you on your way anyway were you just calling to say just call and tell me you're coming over um and I will offer I would have never been able to get through this entire experience without those two so like they they could have came whenever they wanted I walked in I'm and I handed them a baby and they're like um
Speaker: Because you're not in your right mind, right?
Speaker: You're exhausted.
Speaker: Everything's new.
Speaker: We've been sleeping an hour at a time.
Speaker: And they're like, we think you need to pump.
Speaker: And then we'll give him a bottle because he can take a bottle.
Speaker: I know you don't want him to, but like we can work through this.
Speaker: And you need to go lay down for a little bit.
Speaker: And so I did.
Speaker: I pumped, I don't know, two to four ounces of milk.
Speaker: I also had a great milk supply the whole time I was breastfeeding and pumping.
Speaker: We'll get to that point.
Speaker: And I went and passed out for two hours and I don't remember anything.
Speaker: I get up, I'm like, oh, I feel like a new person.
Speaker: And I go out and the baby is fast asleep on Papa, like he typically tended to be for the first year of his life.
Speaker: So it was another moment of, you know what, this is as parenthood, you have to make a decision.
Speaker: And that's what I did.
Speaker: So we continue to struggle.
Speaker: with latching after that.
Speaker: And I didn't think about a lactation nurse, to be honest, because I feel like they're a new thing.
Speaker: I would offer.
Speaker: Were they a thing 15 years ago?
Speaker: Yeah, somebody from the hospital called me three or four days after we got home.
Speaker: And we're like, how's breastfeeding going?
Speaker: I'm like, well, let's just be clear.
Speaker: I have just started to pump and they're like, well, that's okay, too.
Speaker: And I'm like, is it?
Speaker: And they're like,
Speaker: However you get that milk into that baby is the way that it needs to happen.
Speaker: You don't have to worry about it pumping.
Speaker: You don't have to worry about it being from your breast.
Speaker: If he couldn't, if you couldn't make milk and you needed to give, you know, give him formula, whatever, that is that whatever you make work works.
Speaker: And the way the person had said that to me, just really like opened my brain and said, okay.
Speaker: And that's what we decided to do.
Speaker: We, I was able to allow his dad to feed him.
Speaker: Then I was able to let my parents come in and help.
Speaker: And I was able to get the rest I was going to need.
Speaker: So we decided to, I would just keep pumping.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: Good for you.
Speaker: Exclusively pumping is so challenging.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Well, when you're on maternity leave, not as much when you go back to work.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So I don't know if you remember and it's totally fine if you don't, but moving to exclusively pumping, did you have like station with certain things set up or did you like to like, I don't know, watch a certain show or listen to something?
Speaker: What was your kind of pumping regimen?
Speaker: Like, yeah.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: We lived in a little two-bedroom apartment because it was just the two of us.
Speaker: And so we had this, what I call the bachelor chair.
Speaker: I loved that chair.
Speaker: I know men usually are the ones that are classified with those, but I had one big leather chair.
Speaker: It was amazing.
Speaker: So I had my whole station set up on a table right next to it.
Speaker: And every couple hours I'd go pump and I would typically pump while he was eating so that we could like with the noises and stuff that he'd make to ask my body to like kind of follow along with that.
Speaker: And that's where we'd sit and it was in the middle of the living room.
Speaker: And I never even thought twice about it because nobody was there when we were doing it since we were, it was just the two of us, but that's where we, that's where we kept it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, that's so awesome.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And so that's impressive.
Speaker: Do you have him like next to you feeding?
Speaker: Or did you have him on you?
Speaker: Because there were a few times where I was pumping and Luna would wake up and I'd be trying to like soothe this crying baby and pumping and those were the moments that the milk spilled.
Speaker: Everywhere, right?
Speaker: But I'll be fair.
Speaker: Like I produced so much milk, those things were like, Oh, it's all over the place.
Speaker: But also, okay, let's just start again.
Speaker: Yeah, so we did have that happen a couple times.
Speaker: But it was more often where he would just snuggle up into the nook of one and I would do one side and then do the nook of the other and we would just do it like that.
Speaker: Nice, nice.
Speaker: Do you remember what type of pump you used?
Speaker: Do you remember what the type of pumps are now?
Speaker: Because I think they're still in rotation.
Speaker: It was one you rented, right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, it's like Medela, Spectra, Medela.
Speaker: Yeah, nice.
Speaker: And did you ever try a hand pump or hand expressing?
Speaker: I had to a couple times when I went back to work because I would just get so full that if I didn't, like, I forgot my pump at work one night.
Speaker: And that's really how I learned how to hand express after a while.
Speaker: Because you have to, I wasn't driving two hours back to Seattle to go get it.
Speaker: So yeah.
Speaker: I would hop in the shower in the evening and expel that way.
Speaker: Let the water help with the letdown and pieces like that, but then worked it with my hands.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I didn't have to do that when I had my pump.
Speaker: My milk came down very easily, but in those situations, that was a couple of times.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: And how was the bottle feeding experience?
Speaker: Did Chase take certain bottles or was it fine?
Speaker: Did you hold it a certain way?
Speaker: We used the airflow bottle, which I don't actually see them anymore in the store.
Speaker: So I'm sure that they've upgraded and enhanced since then.
Speaker: So the first few months he used the slow flow.
Speaker: And then as he increased in age, it was almost like he couldn't use the fast flow that they could do when they're like one.
Speaker: So we had to find a different medium.
Speaker: But I mean, really, he adapted to the bottle really easily.
Speaker: And as long as he could get the food out of it, he was fine.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: I feel like that's another thing that they don't talk about that bottle nipples are actually all different.
Speaker: And people give you random ones, like they buy you for your baby showers and stuff.
Speaker: And so I had, I had like three different kinds running from the cheapest of the cheap to the nicest of the nice.
Speaker: Like they just came in the gamut and I tried all of them and we ran about mid range.
Speaker: I'm forgetting what the version is of it.
Speaker: Like, but it was like an airflow one.
Speaker: And,
Speaker: We did the little plastic inserts so we could squeeze as much air out of them as possible.
Speaker: And all of those, that's what we use.
Speaker: I remember now those plastic inserts.
Speaker: I don't see them anymore.
Speaker: Anymore, right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I don't think we probably could have found glass bottles because that's what I tend to use now just for everything.
Speaker: But that wasn't like, at least as I remember, very heavily saturated on the market like they are today.
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Glasses making a comeback, which is nice.
Speaker: It really is.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Also, if you're a breastfeeding mom thinking about breastfeeding or are an underproducer like me, get your hands on my free 10 best breastfeeding and pumping tips because you deserve an easier pain-free experience.
Speaker: Seriously, I want you to feel victorious in your breastfeeding and pumping.
Speaker: So go to mollywriter.com forward slash top 10 milk tips to get your copy today.
Speaker: In terms of feeding, like how often did Chase's dad come over?
Speaker: So he was working night shift.
Speaker: So he would actually come over during the day for two to four hours every day and see him.
Speaker: He has been attached to that kid at the hip since I birthed him.
Speaker: I mean, I think they like each other as much as I like Chase.
Speaker: Like they are such good.
Speaker: I mean, they're not friends.
Speaker: They're parent and son, but he's been very attached.
Speaker: So he would come over every day if possible for the first few months.
Speaker: And then when I went back to work, he was actually one of the people that would watch him because I didn't really want to put him in a full-time daycare yet.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then it sounded like your folks were really eager to be grandparents too.
Speaker: So how did... So my dad actually retired randomly.
Speaker: He had knee surgery, so couldn't go back to doing the line of work that he was doing.
Speaker: So my dad was around as much as Chase's dad was around.
Speaker: So he's got two very good bonds with his grandpa and his dad.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's so awesome.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So when my mom was at work, my dad would sneak over.
Speaker: Come hang out with Chase.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: One of my favorite stories at the hospital, my dad was holding him and he'd had him Molly for like four hours.
Speaker: Like the only time he would give him up was when I needed to feed him.
Speaker: And I'd had a friend come in who had been so supportive during the whole pregnancy and
Speaker: And she had to go to work.
Speaker: And so I'm like, Dad, you need to let whoever this person was hold the baby.
Speaker: And he has slight hearing issues.
Speaker: And he would just ignore us.
Speaker: For like an hour, he ignored us until I finally was like, Dad, you have to get the baby up.
Speaker: And he kind of pouted at me and handed the baby over for like 15 minutes and then took him back.
Speaker: And they're still like that to this day.
Speaker: So I can't do that.
Speaker: Yeah, it was so cute.
Speaker: I love that.
Speaker: I love that.
Speaker: I want to circle back to, you know, starting pumping.
Speaker: So of course, you ended up pumping very shortly after bringing Chase home, and maybe sooner than you expected to.
Speaker: So did you have it like all set up and prepped?
Speaker: Or did you have to like figure it out in the moment?
Speaker: What was that like?
Speaker: Yeah, I was not ready.
Speaker: I was like, great, this kid latched.
Speaker: Let's go.
Speaker: Like, I don't, in a couple days, I'll figure this pumping thing out.
Speaker: I knew I was going to go back to work, right?
Speaker: So I really wanted to have a supply.
Speaker: So I was going to like, they say the more you pump, the more you make.
Speaker: So, or the more they eat, the more you make, you know, your body keeps up the supply and demand.
Speaker: And so as I'm sitting there trying to not having a breakdown as my child screams after 12 hours, I, yes, I had to figure out how to put it all together.
Speaker: And I'm almost positive it took me five minutes where, you know, every other time it takes you like 30 seconds.
Speaker: But I got it all put together.
Speaker: I will also say, you don't want me putting anything together.
Speaker: I'm that person.
Speaker: So it also, this is when I have a little extra nervousness when I have to put things together.
Speaker: But I thought Medela at the time did a great job.
Speaker: Like there were only three things that you kind of had to figure out.
Speaker: Toes in the tube.
Speaker: And then you had to like hook the bottle together.
Speaker: PS, don't like not tighten it up well enough because then it'll fall off.
Speaker: And then you'll have this like whole like milk, breast milk everywhere thing.
Speaker: The weirdest sensation though I have to offer is when you put it to your breast.
Speaker: and then it latches on.
Speaker: First, we're not used to people touching our breasts.
Speaker: So our child is starting to use them as a food source, but really it's theirs, right?
Speaker: And then you've got this thing where it was like latches on and you kind of feel like you understand what dairy cows go through because it's just like, it's not hurtful, but it was a little bit like, and there it is.
Speaker: But then it was fine.
Speaker: Like as soon as I figured out how to make sure my breast was in there the right way and it funneled in and caught it, we were able to get the job done.
Speaker: And like I said, my milk was let down really easily.
Speaker: So I didn't have to struggle with like, I know some moms have to sit there and like let it like just torture their
Speaker: their breasts and their nipples and I was not I wasn't I wasn't in um in that situation nice nice yeah yeah the putting it together is always like okay sometimes I did before I'd had him I did clean everything so I had at least touched everything once right but um I don't think yeah I don't remember how putting it together until that morning nice
Speaker: Well, let's talk about when you did go back to work.
Speaker: How did you handle that?
Speaker: So I went to work back to work again 15 years ago.
Speaker: What we do for maternity and paternity leave was not in the same space.
Speaker: I think that our country generally in the states that we live in have done a good job.
Speaker: Organizations that you work for about understanding that there's a need to be home longer than when I had changed.
Speaker: I only was able to take six weeks off because of the way my short term leave and my PTO work together with full time staff.
Speaker: payment because I was the only income coming into my house.
Speaker: So we, like I mentioned, his father would watch him when he was not his schedules.
Speaker: And then I would take him to my brother's house otherwise.
Speaker: And then we would do those shifts for a few months.
Speaker: I was also commuting four hours a day.
Speaker: So I live in an area in the Northwest that has ferries.
Speaker: So anybody that knows the Washington area, they know about the ferries.
Speaker: And I commuted on one of those for seven years.
Speaker: And this during that time was one of the times that I was breastfeeding.
Speaker: So what I had decided to do is that I was going to, I would pump, I would get up beforehand and I'd pump and then I'd get him up and get him ready.
Speaker: I would take the pump to work with me and I would, it would be like every two hours I was trying to keep my schedule.
Speaker: So I pumped in the back of the van because I drove a van pool when we were on the ferry.
Speaker: And it was kind of hilarious because the windows were tinted, but I was pulling a blanket over the third row back seats.
Speaker: And then I'm trying to like adjust and trying to be comfortable and pump with the things out and not have people see you through it.
Speaker: You know, like the fly on the wall, like if YouTube existed as much as it does now, like that would have been the most entertaining thing to watch some of these arms and legs.
Speaker: I was just trying to get my work clothes dirty.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So just all of the things.
Speaker: It was very awkward to do that in the back of the van.
Speaker: So I decided.
Speaker: that I just go up to their bathroom, gonna do it on the ferry in their bathroom.
Speaker: It was so loud because they don't have a lot of padding.
Speaker: So I felt like everybody on the ferry could hear me doing that.
Speaker: So I think that lasted three or four weeks.
Speaker: And then I just like kiboshed the whole ferry idea.
Speaker: And I would do it before I would leave.
Speaker: And then I would do it on my first break at work.
Speaker: And then I would do it at lunch.
Speaker: I would do it one more time in the middle of the day.
Speaker: And then I would do it when I got home at night.
Speaker: So then I was still living my time more in like the three to four hour range instead of the two hour range.
Speaker: But again, my milk supply was still, I was pumping eight ounces out of each breast at a time at that point.
Speaker: It was amazing.
Speaker: Amazing.
Speaker: I always thought it was a little ridiculous because I was like, I don't need this much in this moment.
Speaker: Like, who can I give this to?
Speaker: And there wasn't a lot of areas where I could find where they would take it for NICU babies yet.
Speaker: Like, that's definitely something that, it's not newer, but it also was pretty new when Chase was born.
Speaker: So I had months and months of supplies in the freezer to the point where
Speaker: I'd have to start pumping to put it in the freezer to take the stuff out of the freezer because it was, you know, it has a three month rotation or whatever.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I think that lasted to, let's see, he was about four or five months old when I decided that I was going to just pump twice a day in the morning, one time at lunch and I'm sorry, three times a day.
Speaker: So then I would spread it out.
Speaker: It was very hard to maintain doing it during the workday.
Speaker: I was gone.
Speaker: I was traveling four hours a day.
Speaker: It was always stress to get to the ferry because it always leaves the exact time.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And then you have your work day in between.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And again, we had just started having nursing rooms in our building.
Speaker: Like there was a new thing in the last, in the two years.
Speaker: Oh, good.
Speaker: I was just going to ask you if you had to do that in the bathroom at work.
Speaker: No, they did have these awesome nursing rooms and I use them and they have just gotten even better to be honest since then, but they did.
Speaker: And it was, it looked like a little meditation room and it had a nice little chair and it was, it was actually pretty fantastic.
Speaker: Had a little sink in there, right.
Speaker: So I could clean everything up.
Speaker: All the moms that are having kiddos now, I think that's an expected.
Speaker: That was new when I was having Chase.
Speaker: And I don't know if your friend with a 12-year-old was saying the same thing, but that was new.
Speaker: So he was about six months old and I had forgotten my pump twice at that point.
Speaker: And I had gotten a infected gland.
Speaker: So I don't know if I would have called it metastasized because I was able to loosen it up on my own in the shower.
Speaker: And I made the decision that I needed to stop pumping during the workday because it was just becoming too much.
Speaker: And he was starting to eat solid foods.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So, and I, again, had this ridiculous supply of milk that I was able to start like balancing it.
Speaker: So I went to two times a day, right.
Speaker: Didn't forget my pump the second, like after I did it the second one time I left it at work.
Speaker: One time I left it at home.
Speaker: And I was like, this is like, there's just too much going on now for me to be successful.
Speaker: So I would do it morning and night.
Speaker: The pump was in the same spot all the time.
Speaker: And yeah, and that made it easy.
Speaker: So I was able to do it for another month or two.
Speaker: And then my milk supply, because I was doing it so little, I finally started to see a reduction.
Speaker: And I was like, well, am I going to keep doing this?
Speaker: Or can I, should I stop?
Speaker: And
Speaker: I think he was seven months old.
Speaker: We had enough milk to get him through till a year old.
Speaker: So I made the decision and I actually didn't feel very bad about it.
Speaker: I felt like I had really done a good job of giving him at least the first six months.
Speaker: And we had gone to the pediatrician.
Speaker: He was at the weight he was supposed to be.
Speaker: She was like, I can't believe you're doing these things.
Speaker: It's kind of amazing.
Speaker: Like, like handling with this thing.
Speaker: I kind of backed off and tapered it off and maybe went a little too quickly because I had another moment where I had to get in the shower and like do a hand expressing because I had like,
Speaker: gone a little too gumptiony you know and of um trying to dial it down and we used the stuff out of the freezer till he was about a year old and supplemented obviously with food and he was fine and he's fine to this day so yeah yeah he's amazing yeah that's awesome that's awesome yeah i mean like i i had to pump exclusively for like the first i don't know eight weeks or whatever and that was absolutely miserable
Speaker: So the fact that you did it for seven months, so impressive.
Speaker: So impressive.
Speaker: And I don't know what it would have looked like if we had been able to get him to latch, but what I do think was a blessing in disguise there is I didn't have to teach him how to use a bottle when I wasn't going to be there.
Speaker: And that was probably one of the best, like anybody could feed him.
Speaker: He was willing to take food from anybody.
Speaker: And that was, that was something I hadn't realized that morning where we were having that stressful bout of him not latching.
Speaker: but it was something I did have an awareness around once everybody else that started to become part of his mainstay life at that point were able to support him.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Especially having to go back to work at six weeks.
Speaker: Like he was little.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's awesome.
Speaker: And it's so fun for everybody to get to feed the baby.
Speaker: Like they, they, they did not have a problem with that at all.
Speaker: They even, you know, it's funny.
Speaker: A lot of men took care of him and none of them even blinked about touching breast milk, like not even like,
Speaker: you hear the stigmas, you, you know, hear the things and not a single one of them thought twice about it.
Speaker: They were like, get put in the bottle and off we go.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: And I come from a very manly man type household.
Speaker: So I really expect somebody to like give me gripes about it.
Speaker: It's not a word that's ever spoken.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So curious about pumping in public.
Speaker: I know you mentioned like you tried a little bit on the ferry and then moved it just to the office.
Speaker: So did it feel best for,
Speaker: where you could set yourself up easily and not have to worry about doing it in the car or on the ferry or whatever.
Speaker: So I'm going to say this with a, it was 15 years ago because what I am watching now is a very different scenario.
Speaker: So I hated doing it on the ferry because I felt like everybody could see me and it was not at a time where breastfeeding was empowered of a, like, this is a natural thing.
Speaker: Having your periods, natural thing, breastfeeding is a natural thing.
Speaker: Getting acne is a natural thing, right?
Speaker: Like our culture was not there yet.
Speaker: We were on our way, which is obviously why we had the breastfeeding rooms.
Speaker: That's to say, I felt more secure doing it at my office with the breastfeeding room than I did doing it on the ferry.
Speaker: I have friends that have had babies, you as well as some others.
Speaker: They're just like on the calls now.
Speaker: Hey, I just got a pump.
Speaker: And I'm like, great, you do that.
Speaker: And the dads are amazing.
Speaker: And the coworkers are amazing.
Speaker: That was not the same story.
Speaker: Like it was still very much a like,
Speaker: we know that you breastfeed, but we don't want to watch you breastfeed.
Speaker: That's kind of where my, like I was just on that line.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Well, and since they did just have those new rooms, like, like you mentioned, it's so nice to be able to watch everything right there and just be able to relax.
Speaker: And like, because I know you didn't struggle with milk supply, but just being able to like be in a more calm state is so important for that kind of experience that.
Speaker: Agreed.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Agreed.
Speaker: I don't know, to be fair, Molly, that's a great point.
Speaker: If they hadn't had them, I probably would have stopped sooner because I wouldn't have had it in private of an area because I was very self-conscious about it.
Speaker: And it makes me a little sad being the me now that I am and not, you know, 15 years changes a person and you grow and you become more wise.
Speaker: So watching our culture turn in the area it has where it's like the obvious thing to do, not the nice thing to do has made me so happy.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Well, and to your point, like the machines themselves have improved.
Speaker: And so like, they're not, I mean, they're loud, but they're not as loud.
Speaker: Like I could, I could just imagine 15 years ago, how loud those things were.
Speaker: I don't know how to describe it.
Speaker: And then you add it to an echoey room.
Speaker: And then I never noticed it in my living room, but we had a lot of furniture and carpet.
Speaker: But I got on that ferry and I was like, why?
Speaker: Like, there's no hiding this.
Speaker: Like if somebody's doing something weird in the bathroom is what I was like interpreting in my brain.
Speaker: They're like, the pumps have gone crazy.
Speaker: And I'm on a ferry.
Speaker: So like, if it's not the bathroom, what's happening?
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Awesome.
Speaker: Well, I know it was a long time ago, but were there any like tips or resources or products that you wanted to share with moms to be thinking about?
Speaker: does it have to be breastfeeding related?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: So a lot of things, isn't it funny to say 15 years ago, how many things have changed, but things that I still buy to this day are a boppy or like one of those, um, wedge pillows for mommies to hold their baby.
Speaker: Um, that's what I'm forgetting to tell you.
Speaker: That's one of the ways I kept him fed while I was pumping is that boppy, that circle, what do you guys call them now?
Speaker: Cause I've seen different ones, right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: but the horseshoe pillows, right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: The horseshoe pillows.
Speaker: Hands down.
Speaker: So one of the main things I buy when I buy somebody a gift or, or their version of that, because there's obviously enhanced nipple cream, huge.
Speaker: And I didn't even have a baby that was sucking on my nipples.
Speaker: So can, I can't even imagine what everybody else was chapped little nipples for doing.
Speaker: So if I was having that with the pump, please use nipple cream.
Speaker: And I think I used,
Speaker: a petroleum based one at the time, because that's what I, that's what I was given.
Speaker: But like badger bomb and stuff like that now has these really cool homeopathic type products that I would just like thousand percent.
Speaker: And then I don't know that I have a recommendation for bottles, but I would say try different ones.
Speaker: And people did say that to me, but it was in one of those moments, like you mentioned earlier, everybody's giving you so much information, but I did try different bottles and that's how we figured that out.
Speaker: And it's not like, not every bottle is going to work for every baby.
Speaker: So those are some of the like saving graces I have to have to say.
Speaker: And I,
Speaker: a swing was something he loved and a vibrating chair.
Speaker: He slept in the vibrating chair next to my bed for ever because he needed to sit up at one point in his life.
Speaker: He's sweet.
Speaker: whatever but it then saved our days those were the things that we had in our home nice nice yes the vibrating chair is so helpful so helpful yes love it um all right let's do some fun rapid fire questions okay ready so if you remember back when chase was six months or whenever you did it what were some of the first foods that you tried with him
Speaker: I did sweet potatoes, green beans, carrots that I find disgusting.
Speaker: So I giggle because I hate cooked carrots, but he loves them.
Speaker: So the pediatricians at the time were vegetables first, fruits second.
Speaker: Oh, interesting.
Speaker: I know sweet potatoes aren't actually a vegetable, but like that was one of the ones that came.
Speaker: But those were the foods we introduced first.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Did he have a favorite?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: He loves sweet potatoes.
Speaker: Hates them today, whatever.
Speaker: But I tried avocado.
Speaker: He won't eat.
Speaker: Never has he ever liked that.
Speaker: I have to say, though, peas and carrots were some of his favorites.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: Who doesn't like sweet potato?
Speaker: I mean, I understand, like, those middle years, you don't.
Speaker: But, like, they're so sweet.
Speaker: I keep hoping he comes back to it.
Speaker: But, you know, when you're a teenager, you don't like anything but whatever.
Speaker: You can, like, get away with them.
Speaker: Mom doesn't say it's a salad.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Are you a morning person or a night person?
Speaker: I know the answer.
Speaker: I am a weirdo morning person.
Speaker: And I'll say that because I work East Coast hours and I'm literally up between 4.30 and 5 every morning.
Speaker: And it helps me.
Speaker: I travel a lot.
Speaker: So like it helps me transition to the different time zones.
Speaker: I've also done that to my son.
Speaker: He is now getting up at 5 a.m.
Speaker: because he's in high school now.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: And he's much better than he is at 10 PM.
Speaker: Like, so, you know, things hit genetically that, that was one of them.
Speaker: Nice coffee or tea or something else.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Just all of them.
Speaker: So, um, for any of my neurodivergent mommies out there, um, green tea has amino acids in it.
Speaker: And so green tea and their caffeine is about half of the, um, intake is a cup of coffee.
Speaker: so for some reason, my brain loves green tea in the sense that it's like, it's that it wakes it up, it adds that clarity.
Speaker: And I, I just see the little, you know, fatty acids, like wrapping around my neurons and like just getting it done.
Speaker: So for caffeine, I use green tea.
Speaker: And then for taste, because I've, I just love the taste of coffee.
Speaker: Molly knows this.
Speaker: I'll drink decaf coffee through the day.
Speaker: And then any sort of, I, I love tea.
Speaker: I don't typically drink black tea as much if that matters, but I do love tea.
Speaker: So I had to clean out my tea cupboards the other day.
Speaker: It was,
Speaker: I had to pull it back a little.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's been like, starts to get on me when it takes over the second shelf.
Speaker: It's like, you've got a whole, I have a whole coffee bar now.
Speaker: And, and then the cupboard, it's bad.
Speaker: So I pulled some of it out, cleaned it up for stuff that had been there for a long time.
Speaker: And I know I won't drink.
Speaker: So now I just have to stop buying more.
Speaker: That's like, I have to tell myself that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: So when Chase was little, what was your go-to recharge activity?
Speaker: You know, it's funny.
Speaker: I don't think this would be our recharge activity now, but we would watch Disney movies.
Speaker: So, and if anybody has watched Shrek as an adult versus a kid and you watch some of these things, you know, like, but I didn't, didn't know those things at the time.
Speaker: So Chase is a complete introvert, which is great because I'm a complete extrovert.
Speaker: So he was always okay with the quiet.
Speaker: So as long as he wanted, he's always wanted to be near me, but if I needed to recharge,
Speaker: I could literally just like take the two of us out.
Speaker: We'd watch one of the Disney movies.
Speaker: We both loved the singing, the similarity.
Speaker: Yeah, the musicals.
Speaker: That was on my own.
Speaker: Molly, you know this about me.
Speaker: I do love meditation.
Speaker: And if I can get to it, I do do it pretty often.
Speaker: But sleep for the two of us together when we were together so much when he was that little, we would watch movies and happy movies.
Speaker: I put it better than that.
Speaker: And then if I could get a chance to do meditation on my own, I would.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: Love it.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Did you or Chase have a favorite bedtime story when he was little?
Speaker: Chase is all about the cars and has been since I pushed him out of my body.
Speaker: So there we, oh my goodness, I'm forgetting the name of it.
Speaker: The cow that jumps over the moon.
Speaker: That was one of the ones I would read him when he was really little.
Speaker: We kind of decorated his nursery like that.
Speaker: But we
Speaker: He was pretty okay with any story that I remember, but when he was old enough to really understand what a car was, that's kind of what our theme of life has been since then.
Speaker: He loves sharks.
Speaker: So like the cars are very nonfiction learning child.
Speaker: I'm not, I like fairies and wizards and all the things, but he wants to learn nonfiction.
Speaker: So as long as it's something he's interested in, he's happy.
Speaker: That's so cool.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: What is one thing that either Chase's dad or your parents did when, when he was little to like really help you out, take the burden off you?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Everything supportive.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: So I was stuck in Seattle and his daycare was on this where I live because my support system was there.
Speaker: So if he got sick and my daycare person was amazing, it was an in-home daycare.
Speaker: I know that there's so many other options these days, but I had an amazing in-home daycare experience for anybody that like was a single mom that wasn't making the thousands and thousands of dollars, you know, like in the on our way up kind of a range, if that makes sense.
Speaker: Like I was new in my career and I knew I was going to get there, but I wasn't obviously there yet.
Speaker: I could call my dad at a drop and be like, can you go grab Chase?
Speaker: And he would go get him.
Speaker: And I mean, until I started working at home when he went to kindergarten, they would do that.
Speaker: Take him, feed him, care for him, like all of the things.
Speaker: I mean, they were probably as much part of his like day to day as I was.
Speaker: That's amazing.
Speaker: They were amazing.
Speaker: They're still amazing.
Speaker: I mean, my parents moved away from me and you know that.
Speaker: I mean, my drama and my mindy butt.
Speaker: But like when they're, even when they're here and they come to visit,
Speaker: they stuff everything to help me with my family.
Speaker: I mean, they are just like, have just been rocks.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And that's so helpful because it's so hard to get like when your child is sick and like, it would take me hours.
Speaker: I would have had to, you know, if I didn't have them, Molly, I would have had to quit my job and I would not be wearing that today.
Speaker: There's no way.
Speaker: And he had IBS.
Speaker: We didn't know about at the time.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So his stomach was just in, you know, we all know that good gut health is a thing now.
Speaker: Nobody was taking probiotics 15 years ago.
Speaker: Not like they are now.
Speaker: Nobody told you an antibiotic was like, I mean, the things that I have learned have just been leaps and bounds away from.
Speaker: So he, he got pneumonia when he was two.
Speaker: We didn't know he had pneumonia.
Speaker: My dad went and picked him up, took him to the hospital.
Speaker: My mom, one time he had an asthma attack.
Speaker: Like there were things over the years, I will say that was not all in a very specific period, but over the years it has just been like, they have helped me keep my sanity safe.
Speaker: my career, my, my support system.
Speaker: So that's awesome.
Speaker: That's awesome.
Speaker: Yay.
Speaker: We love your parents.
Speaker: We love your parents too.
Speaker: So yeah, they're all fun.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Awesome.
Speaker: Well, I think that's it.
Speaker: Unless there's anything else you want to share.
Speaker: No, this has been so much fun though.
Speaker: I'm so glad you had me.
Speaker: Yay.
Speaker: I'm so glad you came on.
Speaker: And if people want to reach out to you, is your LinkedIn profile the best way to reach you?
Speaker: LinkedIn.
Speaker: Actually, LinkedIn is safest.
Speaker: My Snapchat and I are not getting along.
Speaker: And I'm on Facebook as well.
Speaker: And I'm connected to you through your personal friends.
Speaker: But LinkedIn is an easy place to find me with my name.
Speaker: Cool.
Speaker: Awesome.
Speaker: Well, thank you so much for being on the pod.
Speaker: It's been a pleasure.
Speaker: Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker: Thank you so much for listening.
Speaker: If you've enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, leave a comment on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or wherever you listen to podcasts and share with a fellow Mama Plus.
Speaker: And if you're interested in coming on to share your own baby feeding story, head to mollyrider.com and click on share your story.
Speaker: Thanks.
Speaker: See you next week.
Speaker: Bye.
