Transcript
Speaker: Hey, Christine.
Speaker: Hi, Gia.
Speaker: So I want to know what comes to your mind when I say the phrase, the good fatty.
Speaker: Everyone I know is the good fatty, including me.
Speaker: I used to be the good fatty following a diet, trying to not be fat at all costs, exercising, overexercising, not showing off certain parts of your body, just trying to stick to the rules that society has given us that say you can't be fat.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: Oh, that's the tea.
Speaker: That's the tea the rule society has given us for this made up term.
Speaker: Right?
Speaker: It's stupid.
Speaker: And we're going to talk about that today.
Speaker: Because welcome to Two Fat Girls, One Microphone.
Speaker: I'm Gia and I'm a fat girl.
Speaker: And I'm Christine and I'm reluctantly fat.
Speaker: You don't have to be reluctantly fat.
Speaker: If you just want to be Christine, that's fine too.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I do want to be Christine.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: Wild, right?
Speaker: It is wild.
Speaker: Just because I say it loud and proud doesn't mean you have to, Christine.
Speaker: I don't want you to feel pressured to say the F word.
Speaker: You don't have to say it at all if you don't want to.
Speaker: It's funny because when I first accosted you and said I want to do a podcast with you, I
Speaker: That's, I think, when I was starting to try to be good with the word.
Speaker: And that was like six months before we actually put anything out.
Speaker: I think it was about, it was a while.
Speaker: And then when we put stuff out,
Speaker: It's like at first I was like, yeah, I'm doing it.
Speaker: And then since then, my own internalized fat phobia has been rearing its ugly head in waves.
Speaker: But it's pretty fun right now.
Speaker: There you go.
Speaker: Well, that's the thing, too, is like we put so much pressure on ourselves.
Speaker: I feel like fat people, it's like you either put pressure on yourself to be the fat person that's losing the weight or you put pressure on yourself to be the super confident fat person who doesn't give a fuck.
Speaker: We really can't exist in an in-between at all like every single other person on the fucking planet does.
Speaker: And that's really interesting to me how like we can't just like exist in this neutral space at all.
Speaker: You have to be working on something.
Speaker: Whether that's losing weight or not giving a fuck, whatever it is.
Speaker: And yeah, that's just something that just popped in my head.
Speaker: And I find that really dumb.
Speaker: Because I even, I find it really hard to.
Speaker: As much as I feel like I'm at a good place with my body and my confidence level, I find it very hard to sit still.
Speaker: Because I'm like, you know, especially in the content creation world, it's like, if I'm not doing something every day, every day, every day, well, then I might as well give up now, buddy.
Speaker: Well, I mean, that's the reason why I didn't even get into it enough, the performance stuff.
Speaker: But what you said was really good about we can't be neutral.
Speaker: But yet it's funny because I'm reading a book called Body Neutral because I've been trying to be body neutral.
Speaker: for a long time.
Speaker: And, um, now we're really getting to the, to the, uh, the deep dark corners of my heart, of my black heart.
Speaker: Um, but I just, that's the thing I think is that because I follow so many fat activists and body positive people that are fat women, mostly fat women.
Speaker: And, um,
Speaker: It's not like I have this internal thing where I don't want to be associated with it to an extent.
Speaker: And, and it's not like,
Speaker: that is my internalized fat phobia right there.
Speaker: Like, that's not like, I don't feel that way, like as a person, but my internalized fat phobia is saying, don't get too close to the fatties because you might be a fatty, but you're not a super fat and you're not a, this kind of fat person.
Speaker: And it's like, so it's a very like fine line that
Speaker: in my head is, you know, in all of, I think a lot of people that are trying to accept themselves in the body that they're at and they are plus or they're larger bodied.
Speaker: If, if you've lived a lot of your life, not that size, like I talk about a lot because I really started realizing it.
Speaker: I feel like when we really started talking on here that, yeah, um,
Speaker: I wasn't ever living life unless I was in a smaller body.
Speaker: So now living life in a larger body for, you know, these last couple of years, it's like really hard.
Speaker: It's like really mentally hard for me, emotionally and mentally.
Speaker: But I guess that's why I'm it's like, I don't know, that thing about.
Speaker: like I was the good fatty.
Speaker: I was, I was literally on a diet forever.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I was always dieting, always trying not to be fat is I like to say it like that.
Speaker: I was trying not to be, I was literally trying not to be fat because I come from being a chubby family and a chubby little girl.
Speaker: And so, you know, my, my grandpa used to call me apple cheeks cause I had the chubbiest they're back now, but they were, you know, my face was a little chunky and, um,
Speaker: I guess, I don't know, man.
Speaker: It's crazy.
Speaker: It's crazy.
Speaker: Because I used to adhere to it for so long, and therefore, in the theater, anytime I was in a show, I wasn't never, I don't think I've ever done a show above a size 11, 12, because that was high school.
Speaker: I've never done a show above,
Speaker: in this body.
Speaker: Like I've never been cast because I haven't been doing anything.
Speaker: You know what I mean though?
Speaker: It's so, it's like, I think that's kind of my, um,
Speaker: what's the word I'm looking for?
Speaker: My little thing in my head.
Speaker: It's like, that's part of the problem is like reconciling as always.
Speaker: I feel like I'm two people at once and it's really weird.
Speaker: And I don't know how, I mean, this is why I have to go to the therapy, but I just, it's like, how do I become one?
Speaker: How do I join the two together?
Speaker: You know?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Those are my thoughts.
Speaker: What do you, what do you think?
Speaker: No, I actually, I just like that you and I are both kind of the good fatty, but on the opposite ends of the spectrum, right?
Speaker: So you've lived, you've been the good fatty, you've done the diets, you've done everything, and like, I've done the fuck it, I like who I am, fuck you, kind of, that kind of side of it.
Speaker: Well, you've done the badass bitch.
Speaker: Yeah, but can I say something that might be controversial?
Speaker: Please, because I'm saying a lot of things that are controversial.
Speaker: I don't believe body neutrality is a attainable goal.
Speaker: I don't in our in our world.
Speaker: And I think the only people who claim to be body neutral are fucking thin people.
Speaker: I've never, you know what?
Speaker: Like, I don't think, I think it's a very dangerous thing to preach out to people when you are not getting angry enough at the fucking world for creating the society that we live in that has even created a market for fucking body neutrality.
Speaker: It's, it's like, I just feel like
Speaker: I mean, not that people haven't profited off of body positivity as well.
Speaker: Like, obviously, again, that industry, multimillion dollar industry.
Speaker: But I've always found, I don't know, when people, because to me, I've only ever heard body neutrality as a way to combat body positivity.
Speaker: Where, you know, you've seen these influencers who are like, I'm not body positive, I'm body neutral.
Speaker: And I just want to be like, shut the fuck up.
Speaker: Like, if you were really body neutral, you wouldn't feel the need to even fucking say that.
Speaker: I'm sorry.
Speaker: I know that might sound mean.
Speaker: Yes, no, you're right.
Speaker: But I really don't think, I have never met someone who's body neutral who's actually a fat person.
Speaker: And I mean, you have actual fat roles.
Speaker: I don't mean your stomach pooches out when you sit down.
Speaker: I mean, you're actually over a size 12.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I'm, for me, I think it's a little bit of a crock of shit because not, and I, but I don't, I think it's a crock of shit right now, but I don't think it's unattainable.
Speaker: I just think we're nowhere close to getting there until we allow ourselves to really,
Speaker: Feel the frustration of the current world and body climate that we're in.
Speaker: Does that make sense?
Speaker: Do I sound like an asshole?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: You don't sound like an asshole.
Speaker: I think it's just you're you're witnessing people that are not informed.
Speaker: Yeah, well, and that's part of the problem is the people that are not.
Speaker: Because at the end of the day, at the end of the day, all anyone wants to do is feel good.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: At the end of the day, we just want to feel good and we want to feel safe.
Speaker: You know, I would almost prefer body safe.
Speaker: Than body neutral.
Speaker: Because you're never going to not have opinions one way or another.
Speaker: Like you're just not.
Speaker: It's going to be a sliding scale.
Speaker: Unless, you know, maybe a hundred years from now when...
Speaker: humans are all half robot sure but it's just i just think it's unrealistic and therefore it's unfair to just be like oh yeah just you're just a skin sack that's it don't feel any way as opposed to let's learn how to process these feelings when they come about about our bodies and
Speaker: That's to me the more useful skill to start working on.
Speaker: And that's what body neutrality actually is.
Speaker: So what body.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm going to tell you what it actually is.
Speaker: So listen, as we all know, okay.
Speaker: We, the body positivity was co-opted by thin white women on the internet.
Speaker: So there's the first problem.
Speaker: So yeah,
Speaker: then they probably started here then they got then they got pushback right and then they started hearing about body neutrality now they're doing the same thing with that yeah body yeah body neutrality right is is just like intuitive eating and body positivity in the way that we're calling out the systems of oppression like that's the that's one of the points right like first we have to uh notice that
Speaker: society's fucked up.
Speaker: We need to know society's fucked up.
Speaker: That's what we all have to first understand.
Speaker: And then body neutrality is supposed to, what it's supposed to do is make someone that maybe is in recovery for an eating disorder or disordered eating
Speaker: someone that is just getting older and gaining weight.
Speaker: And if you're having an issue with it, instead of like the most basic thing is like, okay, instead of saying, I hate my body, I'm just going to say, I have a body.
Speaker: There it is.
Speaker: It's a body.
Speaker: But yes, if you're not a person that has ever lived in a fat body in the real world, it sucks.
Speaker: But then on the other half of that, the next part of this is the hard work, the next part of body neutrality, which is why I got this book because, um,
Speaker: It's by Jessie Nealand and she's a body image coach.
Speaker: So she's also a thin woman that used to be a personal trainer, but she goes through all that at the beginning of the book.
Speaker: She's like, here's my, here's what I did.
Speaker: I didn't know about any better.
Speaker: Now I've learned all this, blah, blah, blah, society, oppression.
Speaker: We need to factor in all forms of oppression.
Speaker: Then she gets into how do we heal our body image and,
Speaker: And to heal your body image, we have to find what's underlying your body image issues.
Speaker: Because a lot of us use our body as a scapegoat for things or as a stand in for our problems.
Speaker: Like
Speaker: that fucking sucks.
Speaker: This thing happened and that fucking sucks.
Speaker: And now I'm fucking fat.
Speaker: And I mean, it's like a whole, a blaming the body.
Speaker: So there's others.
Speaker: There's always other stuff going on.
Speaker: Now, listen, I'm telling you that, but also what I'm just getting into the part where I have to like now start digging deep and I love digging deep.
Speaker: It's just very, you know, it's scary.
Speaker: But also I will say that in doing that and in reading this book,
Speaker: It actually makes me think I don't want to be fat anymore.
Speaker: It actually makes me think I wish I didn't have to.
Speaker: I wish I didn't have to do all this.
Speaker: I wish I didn't have to fucking go through all this bullshit because I'm fat and I have to be okay to be okay with being fat and a fat body.
Speaker: I have to fucking figure out.
Speaker: Read a book and do all these fucking activities.
Speaker: That's I'm sorry.
Speaker: Activities, not activities, not activities.
Speaker: It's like,
Speaker: They're like, they're deep, deep questions that you would go to therapy.
Speaker: You could bring them to therapy.
Speaker: But yes, go.
Speaker: No, I'm unconvinced thus far.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, that's because I'm explaining it.
Speaker: Because I also think while you're doing all of this, no.
Speaker: Well, and I think it's an industry.
Speaker: I think you're trying to sell a book.
Speaker: I think...
Speaker: You're trying to sell coaching.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, as opposed to just, you know what the book should just say, it should be one page and it should say, live your life.
Speaker: That's it.
Speaker: See, like, and I know like some people are different types of thinkers, but I, you know, you and I have been doing this for a hot minute now.
Speaker: And if I may,
Speaker: I think some people find safety in that academic, right?
Speaker: Because that's, at the end of the day, you want to feel in control and you want to feel safe.
Speaker: So whatever you can do, I think maybe reading all these books, doing all these things makes you feel like you have more control.
Speaker: Whereas when I say, hey, Christine, let's go to a rooftop bar and take some hot pictures.
Speaker: You give me all the pushback in the world.
Speaker: So what if I put a book on your fucking door that says body neutral on it?
Speaker: And in the book, it just says, go to the bar with Gia.
Speaker: Have your tits out.
Speaker: But.
Speaker: Guess what?
Speaker: That is what it says to me because that, that is what it says to me because that is my underlying body image thing is that I have been so scared to live.
Speaker: that I have not lived for the last 20 years.
Speaker: I don't even know how many years, 15 years.
Speaker: I don't even know.
Speaker: But that's what I'm saying.
Speaker: It's like, that is what it's, it's basically for me.
Speaker: That's, this is about me.
Speaker: That's about me.
Speaker: It's not about anybody else, but like my body image is,
Speaker: thing that I am learning already from this book is that.
Speaker: So, yeah, it's all the stuff that I didn't do and I say I want to do and then I don't do it.
Speaker: That's my whole thing.
Speaker: And therefore, I put pressure on the body and then I would go on diets.
Speaker: And now instead of going on the diets, I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum, but I'm still doing the same thing.
Speaker: I'm still doing the same thing.
Speaker: So therefore, then I'm like, huh, maybe I wouldn't be fat if I just had done all the things I was supposed to be doing instead of focusing too much on my body.
Speaker: So I do see.
Speaker: I don't know, I do see positive.
Speaker: At what point are you living in the present?
Speaker: I mean, I'm living in the present when I'm reading a book.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Because I'm there.
Speaker: As long as you're in the present when you're reading and not like thinking like, oh, I should have done that.
Speaker: Oh, I should have done that.
Speaker: No, see, I don't.
Speaker: But that's the thing.
Speaker: I don't think like that anymore.
Speaker: But what I'm saying is coming to this realization that.
Speaker: it's coming to the realization that I have truly wasted so many years entrenched in diet culture, thinking that I couldn't do anything until I lost weight.
Speaker: And that's the problem.
Speaker: And that's the problem.
Speaker: But obviously there's other personal things that I have that are part of the problem.
Speaker: But, um, but that's what I'm saying.
Speaker: It's like,
Speaker: Either way, diet culture has fucked me, right?
Speaker: Either way, diet culture is not going to be helpful.
Speaker: But at the same time, getting getting big and gaining weight sucks, too.
Speaker: And it's it is hard.
Speaker: That's why nobody wants to do it.
Speaker: That's why nobody wants to do it.
Speaker: That's why nobody wants to.
Speaker: That's why I didn't want to be in the big body.
Speaker: That's why I wanted to be on diets.
Speaker: That's why I wanted to pretend I wasn't fat my whole life.
Speaker: And in the end, I have gotten larger because I didn't want to do it.
Speaker: in it.
Speaker: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker: Like, it's that it's the fuck.
Speaker: What's the fucking term?
Speaker: It's like an unintended consequence.
Speaker: It's like, oh, I was trying to do the opposite, but I have literally screwed myself in the process because and that's the thing.
Speaker: Literally, that's the thing I was.
Speaker: I said something the other day on the podcast, and I thought after I said, I'm like, maybe I shouldn't have said that thing because I'm supposed to be two fat girls, one Mike over here.
Speaker: I'm supposed to be the I'm supposed to be
Speaker: Some sort of way.
Speaker: And it's like, I'm just I'm just not there.
Speaker: And therefore, I felt like it came across as like I said, if you know, don't diet, because if you diet, you're just going to end up being fat because that's what happened to me.
Speaker: And therefore, I'm still not 100 percent on this being plus size thing.
Speaker: I'm still not I'm still not 100 percent bought in, even though I have to be.
Speaker: Do you know what I'm saying?
Speaker: Like, it's.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Well, I think the point of our podcast is not that you and I have escaped our internalized fat phobia.
Speaker: I don't.
Speaker: Again, I as much as I want to chip away at that ice block in my lifetime, I'm.
Speaker: I don't know that I will be around to see that world, right?
Speaker: Like, I don't know.
Speaker: I think we have a very, very long way to go.
Speaker: So I think...
Speaker: You just showing up as you are is enough.
Speaker: And I think it also adds to viewing fat people as a three-dimensional individual.
Speaker: Well, what are we?
Speaker: I'm having a blonde moment.
Speaker: Are we four?
Speaker: We're four dimensions.
Speaker: Well, you know, and I had this thought the other day is that, like, fat people aren't viewed as, like, an autonomous, marginalized group.
Speaker: Um...
Speaker: And I feel like and again, like the world puts us in those two boxes.
Speaker: You're either fat and working on it or you're fat and confident and a bad bitch.
Speaker: And for your I like myself where you're fat and you're fucking disgusting, as some people think.
Speaker: Well, yeah.
Speaker: Well, yeah.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: That's the default.
Speaker: I get it.
Speaker: But I think, I don't know, in my mind, the point of what we're doing is showing that we do have all these different thoughts and feelings.
Speaker: And there are a lot of gray areas.
Speaker: And there are some things we're at a really good place with.
Speaker: And there's some things we're really not.
Speaker: I don't like when people touch my stomach.
Speaker: I am a bad bitch.
Speaker: Don't touch my stomach.
Speaker: I'll throw up on you.
Speaker: I'll probably punch you, actually.
Speaker: But, you know, it's it's I I kind of feel like a phony sometimes because I'm like, as far as I've come, there are still small little things that we they really get to me.
Speaker: And it's funny.
Speaker: This is a really, this is a side note, but Christine knows this.
Speaker: I've been watching a lot of Vanderpump Rules, you guys, so much.
Speaker: And fucking, what's his fuck?
Speaker: James Kennedy on that show.
Speaker: And my friend who made me watch it, she's like, just keep watching.
Speaker: Just keep watching.
Speaker: He gets funny.
Speaker: He gets funny.
Speaker: And because that piece of human garbage was,
Speaker: has made so many awful comments to women specifically about their bodies.
Speaker: I don't think I'm ever gonna, I don't think I'm ever gonna think he's funny.
Speaker: I really, I don't think, and I texted my friend that.
Speaker: I said, oh, this is why I hate this guy so much.
Speaker: Like, it's, I understand it's a reality show, but like, no, I'm never gonna find him funny.
Speaker: I actually think he's disgusting.
Speaker: And I was like, my friend who's in a straight sized body like that didn't even of course that never entered her brain.
Speaker: Of course, James Kennedy started getting funny because he's like a drunk, stupid fuck.
Speaker: You know, it's like as far as I've come, I'm like, I'm having this visceral reaction.
Speaker: to this 25 year old British fucker telling this girl, oh, you shouldn't wear those shorts.
Speaker: You really shouldn't lose some fucking weight.
Speaker: And just how callous it is and awful.
Speaker: And yeah, yeah.
Speaker: So as far as I like to think I've come, the second I hear that, oh, I turn into a rage dragon.
Speaker: Oh, I'll beat a bitch down.
Speaker: You mean if you hear it at all?
Speaker: If I hear it at all.
Speaker: At all.
Speaker: If I hear it at all.
Speaker: Even like at work, like I'll hear people say things from time to time.
Speaker: And I'm like, I literally takes everything within me.
Speaker: And sometimes I fail that.
Speaker: I fail it pretty hard.
Speaker: And like recently I had to just like, I cut off a coworker while they were talking.
Speaker: I was like, I can't talk about this.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: I was like, this is not something I want to speak about because they were talking about the weight loss surgery that they got.
Speaker: And they're talking about it just and it's like they in with this with this specific conversation, I was like,
Speaker: they were talking about how it literally set me on fire, how they needed to come to the gym with me.
Speaker: Cause you know, they're skinny now, but they're still not strong.
Speaker: Like no fucking shit, bro.
Speaker: No fucking shit.
Speaker: Because guess what?
Speaker: If you want to be strong, that's a whole other thing.
Speaker: A whole other thing you have to do that you can't pay money for.
Speaker: Sorry.
Speaker: Sorry.
Speaker: I feel like this episode is just turning into like fat rage, not the good fatty.
Speaker: Let's go into fat.
Speaker: Well, like, okay.
Speaker: Like seriously, I,
Speaker: that's what i'm like what if you think that you're gonna get an operation or take ozempic or take whatever a magic pill and you think you're not gonna have any fucking side effects and you think you're gonna what magically go to the gym and be able to work out and be crazy like or be able to lift heavy shit it's like it was literally like a matter of like lifting boxes and i was like i got it i can do it like it was you know
Speaker: And, and this person, they kept trying, they kept trying.
Speaker: And I was like, just stop.
Speaker: And then they made that comment.
Speaker: And I said, you know what?
Speaker: I can't talk about this with you.
Speaker: And I just kept lifting the boxes.
Speaker: I just kept lifting the boxes.
Speaker: Cause I was gonna, I was gonna snap.
Speaker: And at the end of the day, the,
Speaker: The work, the mental work I've done, like I have to fight myself from becoming a little bit of an intellectual bully.
Speaker: And I feel like you and I, like you and I, we've read all like, well, you've read more than me, but you know, I feel like when you grow up fat or when you're a fat person, you build up all your other faculties.
Speaker: You are going to become the smartest.
Speaker: You're going to become the funniest.
Speaker: You're going to become all these things that,
Speaker: So that way, you know, the fat thing is just like, oh, we're not going to talk about it.
Speaker: Or it's like this excuse, right?
Speaker: Of like, yeah, I'm fat, but I've read all these books.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm fat, but, you know, we're still excusing ourselves.
Speaker: So that's a struggle I have.
Speaker: Because I've read a lot, because I do work out, because I've researched a lot on just health and nutrition, and because I cook, that was the other thing this person said to me.
Speaker: They were like, I need to come over and eat my ear house.
Speaker: No, not if you're going to talk like that.
Speaker: You don't.
Speaker: Bitch, you can't even eat if you had fucking weight loss surgery.
Speaker: Your stomach's not very big.
Speaker: Sorry.
Speaker: No, no.
Speaker: Sorry, person I don't know.
Speaker: Fat rage.
Speaker: Fat rage.
Speaker: I lost my train of thought.
Speaker: About cooking and nutrition.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know things.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And so I fight my I fight kind of how we talked about with Michaela on the intuitive eating episode.
Speaker: It's like, how do you start that conversation with people when you hear these things that are super triggering?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because like you're like, that's that like you want to you want to stop the train wreck from happening when you hear the way people speak about their bodies or when you hear someone talking about their new diet fad.
Speaker: Well, that's when you have to leave the conversation or you have to just say, I don't want to talk about that.
Speaker: If you're the only one in the conversation with the person.
Speaker: Christine, I'm a Leo.
Speaker: That's so hard.
Speaker: I know it's hard.
Speaker: Listen, it is.
Speaker: Listen, I know it's so hard.
Speaker: But you know what?
Speaker: Honestly, when I started...
Speaker: I used to be so scared to go back to work after the pandemic because of my change and because I was now not wanting to talk about diets.
Speaker: And before that, bitch, all I talked about was what I was looking like, how I was feeling about my body.
Speaker: Like literally all I used to talk about.
Speaker: And to then be in the environment again, I was really scared because I'm like –
Speaker: don't say anything, don't say anything, don't say anything if people say something.
Speaker: And I feel like I've gotten really good at it for me because I'm not a Leo, but I'm a Sagittarius and I'm also crazy.
Speaker: So now what happens is if I hear something, I get, and if I'm close to the person, I'll be like, question it.
Speaker: And then I'll be like, sorry.
Speaker: Like today I work.
Speaker: But I mean,
Speaker: Ugh.
Speaker: It's so hard.
Speaker: This is what we're saying.
Speaker: Like, all the mental energy it takes.
Speaker: This is what I'm sick of.
Speaker: All the mental energy I have to expend.
Speaker: Yeah, I think that's right.
Speaker: On protecting myself from people making me feel like a worthless person.
Speaker: It's like, that's what the hard, like, that's part of the problem for me.
Speaker: Also, the other major part of the problem is, um,
Speaker: I don't know how people want to get dressed when they're fat.
Speaker: Like I don't care.
Speaker: And I want to start, I want to start caring and I'm still finding it very difficult to understand how I'm supposed to understand and enjoy what I'm seeing.
Speaker: And that's why I went to body neutrality because it is just a thing.
Speaker: It's not a fact.
Speaker: It's just like,
Speaker: It's like, oh, that's my body.
Speaker: There it is.
Speaker: But like it's I don't know how I don't I want to be a person that likes what I'm looking at.
Speaker: So it's very difficult.
Speaker: For me to work through this, this is like the biggest this is probably where a lot of my shit is coming from right now, because.
Speaker: I don't know how I'm supposed to dress and be comfortable and happy about it in this body.
Speaker: I really don't.
Speaker: I really don't.
Speaker: If it's not black leggings and V-neck black t-shirt, bitch, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, okay?
Speaker: That's the only thing I like to wear.
Speaker: And I wish it was my hundred... I wish I would paint this on me, this uniform.
Speaker: I would...
Speaker: I would fucking paint it on me, fucking tattoo it on me.
Speaker: This is all I want to wear.
Speaker: But it's because I don't know how to accept what I look like.
Speaker: I still in my head when I picture myself, I still think about my body like
Speaker: As a size, at least as like a size 10, like from 2018.
Speaker: That's what I think about.
Speaker: That's what I was then.
Speaker: And that's what I think about.
Speaker: And now I'm like, bitch, you don't look like that anymore.
Speaker: It's very difficult because going out into the world.
Speaker: But why can't you still wear the things that you like?
Speaker: Things are very, because they don't, because I don't look the way I want to look in them.
Speaker: And that's what the problem is for me.
Speaker: But then at the same time, I understand that diets have not served me well.
Speaker: If they had served me well, I would not be like this right now.
Speaker: So that's how I know that diets do not work because I was, you know, very good at doing that and overexercising.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So they don't work.
Speaker: And so I see the see it's like I see the proof and I see truth and I that's what I like.
Speaker: But at the same time, it's like.
Speaker: It's hard, man, it's very and I and I feel like I can't dress.
Speaker: Because I have a weird ass body like I think I've talked about before I have to me, I have a weirdly oddly shaped body.
Speaker: And the first thing to do is to in order to dress yourself when you're in a different kinds of body kind of body, you have to get you have to you have to you don't have to like it.
Speaker: You just have to be like, that is what my body looks like.
Speaker: And how would I dress that body?
Speaker: And you know what?
Speaker: I can't do that.
Speaker: I can't do that part of it.
Speaker: But what if you just started small?
Speaker: Like, what if you just were like, I like this shirt?
Speaker: That's what I've been doing.
Speaker: What if it has nothing to do with, you know, I think you can be a work in progress.
Speaker: Like you don't have to be there all the way with your body to start just doing little things that make you feel good.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And maybe, maybe, you know, the whole idea of two things can exist at once.
Speaker: Like you can not be a hundred percent there.
Speaker: But I do think to a degree, you know, part of, I guess, breaking out of, like, the good fattiness, I think part of it is just, like, doing a little, just picking a little bit every day.
Speaker: I mean, and I am doing as much as I can, but that's what I'm saying.
Speaker: Like, today even, I was wearing this, one of my puff sleeve shirts.
Speaker: It's a plaid.
Speaker: And it's, like, a wrap top.
Speaker: And it's hot as fuck today, by the way.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: And I was not exited my home.
Speaker: I wouldn't either.
Speaker: And anyway, I I was like, I didn't know what to wear.
Speaker: So I'm like, I'm just gonna wear this.
Speaker: So then I wear that.
Speaker: And then anytime I go into the bathroom is always a thing for me at work because I have to see myself in a mirror.
Speaker: And my real self in a real mirror because apparently the mirror in my bedroom, which is right there, it somehow makes me look not the same size or my eyes do.
Speaker: So basically like I was fine.
Speaker: I was like dealing with it because that's what I do.
Speaker: Now I'm very good at like being okay with like I'm okay with it or I wouldn't be here.
Speaker: But then I got on the train home and I felt like people were like staring at me and I'm like, it's probably because I look so fucking huge in this shirt.
Speaker: And I'm like, I didn't even think about that immediately.
Speaker: But then I thought that's probably why.
Speaker: That's my crazy head.
Speaker: Or because you're hot, bro.
Speaker: Or because you're hot.
Speaker: And that's what I mean.
Speaker: Like, maybe it's a matter of like, when you start having those thoughts, you catch yourself.
Speaker: Well, that's what I've been doing because I used to be very bad with self-talk.
Speaker: I used to talk shit to myself all the time.
Speaker: I was terrible.
Speaker: And that is one of the things I really worked on very hard during the pandemic.
Speaker: And I would say I'm a 180 from that, which is amazing.
Speaker: But it's the little things that trickle in.
Speaker: Before we even recorded, before we get on here today, I looked at myself in the mirror and I was like...
Speaker: I was like, okay, if I got to live home, I would like, if I was just here by myself all the time, life would be great.
Speaker: Like it would be so great.
Speaker: It's, it's other people.
Speaker: And that's my whole issue.
Speaker: Cause I always have been, cause I was brought up this way.
Speaker: And like most people, very concerned with what other people are thinking about me.
Speaker: And that's the other part of the problem for me.
Speaker: It's like, I just have a lot going on.
Speaker: I have a, cause you know why I wouldn't, I don't know.
Speaker: I don't know, man.
Speaker: I wouldn't have been like this, I don't think, if I didn't consistently try to be the good fatty.
Speaker: I wouldn't have been like this.
Speaker: But it was so many years, so many years of it.
Speaker: But I do want to give you credit because this is the most I've ever heard you talk about this with emotion behind it.
Speaker: And I do think it's something to be pissed off about, Christine.
Speaker: It's something you need to allow yourself to be actively...
Speaker: Like be actively angry about it.
Speaker: Feel your feelings like and and and then but like feel them and be like, all right, and we're going to keep checking forward.
Speaker: And like you, you're still here.
Speaker: You are on this earth.
Speaker: You are here.
Speaker: You are going to keep being hot.
Speaker: And doing the thing one more time.
Speaker: You're going to keep being hot.
Speaker: Hotness is a mindset.
Speaker: Nothing else.
Speaker: Nothing else.
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: I would shove my face in your tits any day.
Speaker: And if you need me to at any point, you just let me know.
Speaker: Let me know.
Speaker: I will be your melon felon.
Speaker: That's hilarious.
Speaker: That'll be our merch.
Speaker: I'll be your melon felon.
Speaker: No, I mean, but I do like I want to acknowledge that like you're sharing this and like I acknowledge that it's not something.
Speaker: I can relate to because I've always been fat.
Speaker: I've always been more or less the same size.
Speaker: So I think I accepted it a long time ago.
Speaker: And now I almost feel th is is about to sound insane.
Speaker: Sometimes I forget.
Speaker: Like sometimes I'm so like busy feeling myself and like my own personality and my like my humor and like my ability to work a room or whatever that I forget.
Speaker: I forget that I'm fat.
Speaker: Like I think other people do, too, Christine.
Speaker: Genuinely.
Speaker: Like I think.
Speaker: It's like, I'm just, I'm just Gia.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like, and that's it.
Speaker: And, and I know that sounds insane, but genuinely sometimes it's like, I, I forget.
Speaker: And then.
Speaker: And then I like find myself like going on dates with men who are much smaller than me or, or something, or it's, it's when I'm like, for me, it's like, I don't know why, like, I'm sure this is worth unpacking in therapy, but it's whenever I'm in like sexual scenarios, essentially.
Speaker: that I suddenly become aware of it.
Speaker: And it's like a split decision of you're either going to let this sink you or you're not.
Speaker: And I'm, I'm pretty good at just, I push that thought to the back of my brain.
Speaker: Um, because something, you know, my mom always, it's like my mom always says feelings are not facts.
Speaker: Like you acknowledge your feelings, you let yourself feel them, but know that they're not always true.
Speaker: Um, and so, yeah, it's hard because I feel like I can't,
Speaker: I can't relate to a lot of what you're saying.
Speaker: It's crazy.
Speaker: It's nuts.
Speaker: I can't.
Speaker: But I do think it's... But I think I had a very unique set of circumstances.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: With my body and my acceptance of it.
Speaker: And that doesn't mean like I don't look in the mirror and want to change something.
Speaker: But it's almost from...
Speaker: an analytical perspective.
Speaker: Like the other day I was like, I'm a lower belly is feeling a little poochy.
Speaker: Let me do some lower abs stuff.
Speaker: And that, and that was it.
Speaker: Like it wasn't, it, I didn't like spiral down, but, but you know, I just did some shit.
Speaker: I did my 10 minute booty shaking, Tiffany Roth ab workout on YouTube.
Speaker: And then I did some like leg raises and shit.
Speaker: And I was like, all right, no, I feel good.
Speaker: I'm good.
Speaker: It's, and I can't,
Speaker: Where I feel my like guilt come in and that I feel like I'm not being good fatties, I can't pinpoint any of it for you.
Speaker: I can't write a fucking book.
Speaker: I can't.
Speaker: Like all I can do is like hype you up and tell my experience.
Speaker: But like if I were to fucking write a book, I don't know.
Speaker: I wouldn't be able to do it.
Speaker: I wouldn't be able to tell you like, oh, well, I followed this step, this step, and this step to feel better about myself.
Speaker: And I feel like I'm doing a disservice to my fellow fat people in the world by not being able to do that.
Speaker: No, but that's the thing with all these books.
Speaker: They don't tell you what to do.
Speaker: You have to figure it out for yourself.
Speaker: It's like a lot of this, especially body image work and intuitive eating, I wanted someone to tell me what to do.
Speaker: And we all do because we're all used to, well, the people that are on diets are used to being like, this is too much.
Speaker: Just tell me what to eat.
Speaker: Just tell me when to move.
Speaker: Tell me what to eat.
Speaker: That's why people like diets too.
Speaker: So basically when you get into this, this is, this is like being an uncharted fucking waters because you have to look within yourself.
Speaker: You can't do intuitive eating without looking within yourself.
Speaker: Cause that's part of the whole thing.
Speaker: Like you have to get in tune with yourself.
Speaker: You have to feel again.
Speaker: You have to understand what your body's feeling and how your fullness is just like with the body image work.
Speaker: That this is why the body image is the longest and hardest work if you're working on it.
Speaker: It's the longest and hardest work healing from this stuff.
Speaker: You have to get.
Speaker: You have to get so.
Speaker: Deep with it.
Speaker: It is there you have.
Speaker: I mean, if you're not in therapy and you're working on a body image, I think try it or work with a coach because.
Speaker: I mean, I personally believe you're on any type of fitness journey whatsoever, whether it's lose weight to gain strength,
Speaker: to gain flexibility.
Speaker: I personally believe you should also be in therapy.
Speaker: I think you cannot work on yourself physically without working on yourself mentally at the same time.
Speaker: Eventually one's going to catch up to the other.
Speaker: That's why you find so many people.
Speaker: I mean, I think that's, that's where it comes from.
Speaker: You find so many people, you know, I, you know, I, you find so many people who will just toss themselves in the gym.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And they'll be super consistent about going to the gym every day.
Speaker: And it's like, well, every other aspect of my life is falling apart and I don't know how to communicate like a functioning adult, but I'm going to the gym every day.
Speaker: And then they have a sense of superiority about it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Well, and it's, but then they get fucking surprised of why don't I feel better?
Speaker: I lost all this weight.
Speaker: Why do I still feel like shit?
Speaker: And it's because you're not doing the, you're not doing the full body work.
Speaker: Your brain is a part of your fucking body.
Speaker: If you are going to,
Speaker: To be altering your body, that's going to alter your fucking brain chemistry too.
Speaker: It's going to alter a lot.
Speaker: So why are you not processing these feelings that are coming up as your body's changing in a professional setting?
Speaker: And it's just so funny to me because we are this society that, you know, now it's all gung-ho mental health.
Speaker: But you need to be skinny first.
Speaker: Like that's top tier.
Speaker: Top tier be skinny.
Speaker: Then heart's mental health matters.
Speaker: Right?
Speaker: And that's like that's the giant fucking hypocrisy of our world is that if you're working on your body, well, your brain's a part of your body too.
Speaker: So why aren't you working on that too?
Speaker: And I really –
Speaker: Yeah, it's, and maybe that's, maybe that's where, like, that's what's always worked for me because I've been in therapy since I was fucking, like, 16 years old.
Speaker: Since the divorce, you know, thanks, mom and dad.
Speaker: But it's like, I started, because I think with therapy comes this awareness of your feelings and this awareness of processing your feelings so that even if you're in and out of therapy, you're
Speaker: Once you go for a little bit of time, like that's muscle memory.
Speaker: Like you're literally training your brain to process your feelings.
Speaker: So I just think, anyhow, I just think it's a big crock of shit.
Speaker: If you're going to go on a grand fitness journey, you need to also be working on your mental health at the same time or something's going to catch up to you eventually.
Speaker: And that's what the diet industry doesn't tell you.
Speaker: In the wellness industry now because, you know, they're rebranding.
Speaker: That too, that too.
Speaker: Just so everyone knows the rebranding wellness is now Diagl.
Speaker: And that's the funniest part with the wellness people because they're all like natural this, no chemicals this.
Speaker: But then you're right.
Speaker: Are you in fucking therapy working on your fucking crazy shit going on in your head thinking you can't eat fucking oil?
Speaker: Sorry, that was a stab at them.
Speaker: It's great.
Speaker: It drives me nuts.
Speaker: And again, I will say it once again.
Speaker: We are on a floating rock.
Speaker: In the middle of a galaxy.
Speaker: That's in the middle of who knows how many galaxies.
Speaker: Be happy.
Speaker: Live your life.
Speaker: It sounds simple when you say it, Gia.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: I know it does.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: And I'm sorry.
Speaker: Like, I don't mean to minimize that.
Speaker: Anything you're saying, but sometimes like that's what I have to tell myself to like jerk myself out of something about anything.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Like I got all hung up on a man all fucking summer.
Speaker: And then I was like, yeah, you're on a floating rock.
Speaker: You're on a floating rock.
Speaker: Everything's made up and the points don't matter.
Speaker: I think I love that.
Speaker: You've see, I like that.
Speaker: You found something that really works for you.
Speaker: Mm hmm.
Speaker: And like I would say an affirmation kind of like an affirmation maybe because it's helping you stay in a certain mindset, though.
Speaker: It's helping you stay.
Speaker: I feel like my affirmations are pretty aggressive.
Speaker: I don't know if they are really helpful.
Speaker: That's you.
Speaker: That's you.
Speaker: I'm aggressive, Christine.
Speaker: Well, you're just you got you got your your spunk, you know, aggressively sexy.
Speaker: I'm so sorry.
Speaker: You can fire me if you like.
Speaker: You can fire me.
Speaker: She thinks she's hosting.
Speaker: I'm not karaoke.
Speaker: She thinks she's hosting trivia again today.
Speaker: Oh, I am.
Speaker: Listen, no, that's why I said it.
Speaker: It's funny you say that because last night was one of those moments I had.
Speaker: when I was hosting trivia, cause there wasn't a lot of people.
Speaker: Um, and so when there's not a lot of people like already signed up, you kind of have to go whore yourself out.
Speaker: You got to go whore yourself out to tables.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And I became that I'm not self-aware of my own body at all.
Speaker: I'm just going to be a bad-ass funny bitch and you're going to play trivia.
Speaker: And, and, and, and then like I found myself and again, it's,
Speaker: this is my daddy issues talking.
Speaker: And I know that it was only when I went up to this table of three dudes and they were all wasted and kind of dickish.
Speaker: And it was in that moment that I had a slight, like, Oh, like you're, you're the fat chick in this crop top coming up to their table.
Speaker: Like they don't want this.
Speaker: And I did snap myself out of it, but it did happen.
Speaker: It did happen.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So it's, you know, and then again, there we go.
Speaker: It's just, it's,
Speaker: Misogyny and, well, it's just not even misogyny, but the patriarchy.
Speaker: That's, for me, like, that's the head of the snake.
Speaker: It's the head of the snake of everything.
Speaker: And it's just, it's hard.
Speaker: It's really hard.
Speaker: And I do think...
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I do think, again, I jokingly said the fat rage thing, but I do think at what point are fat people allowed to start getting a little pissed off?
Speaker: At what point are we allowed to start showing some of this anger?
Speaker: I'm there.
Speaker: I'm ready.
Speaker: I'll rally the war cry.
Speaker: But it's just interesting to me how we're kind of the last...
Speaker: the last ones in the line every time.
Speaker: And we keep, we keep pushing fat people out of the way to make way for whatever other thing is going to be the focus in the media today.
Speaker: And it's just like, at what point, at what point do we get to start getting a little pissed off?
Speaker: At what point do I get to start getting pissed off that all these productions of Hairspray keep casting skinny bitches and that these skinny bitches are accepting the role?
Speaker: At what point can I get pissed?
Speaker: I'd like to know.
Speaker: That's just because I saw that today.
Speaker: You definitely, right now you can get pissed.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I know, but I want the world to be pissed.
Speaker: Like I want, I want, I want those girls, mothers to say, honey, like you're not fat.
Speaker: Like, but I know that I know that's not going to happen.
Speaker: If they're at least a size 10, they think they are.
Speaker: Well, yeah.
Speaker: And that's the thing too.
Speaker: It's like, then I, then I backtrack, I'm pissed off and then I backtrack and then I'm like, well, Gia, you're minimizing their experience because,
Speaker: you come from a very unique place in terms of your relationship with your body.
Speaker: And then I feel guilty that I'm being kind of an asshole.
Speaker: And then the cycle goes round and round and round.
Speaker: Well, this is the, see, this is what I'm saying.
Speaker: Like,
Speaker: It's not cute, though, to cast small people as Tracy Turnblad.
Speaker: It's not cute to me to do that.
Speaker: Even as the Tracy Turnblad standby or understudy, wink, wink, nudge, nudge, to the Hairspray National Tour.
Speaker: And that's all.
Speaker: Continue.
Speaker: But, like, this is that.
Speaker: Well, that's the theater.
Speaker: That's part of the theater's fatphobia.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: That's a whole.
Speaker: But people aren't going to not take a role, right?
Speaker: Like, they're not.
Speaker: Well, yeah.
Speaker: They don't care.
Speaker: they got called back for it and then they got it and they're gonna take the fucking role.
Speaker: Money's money.
Speaker: We'll pad you.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I mean, but that is also showing that one of the only fucking roles we've got that's not being made a joke of all the time because it turns out positive in the end is not being cast as a person in that body.
Speaker: Well, yeah, because then it's like then you're really being passed up.
Speaker: You're really being...
Speaker: But again, it's also like I feel like fat people, like you can be sad about it, but you're not allowed to get angry.
Speaker: You can just be kind of bummed out.
Speaker: Just like women can't get angry either.
Speaker: Well, yeah.
Speaker: But it's just interesting.
Speaker: It's interesting, you know, because I follow a lot of like fat influencers and stuff too.
Speaker: And I would say very few of them.
Speaker: actually get a little pissed off.
Speaker: I follow Samira.
Speaker: She's on TikTok and she's a New Orleans queen.
Speaker: And she actually gets a little pissed off.
Speaker: She gets a little pissed off and calls out these fashion brands for their hypocrisy, right?
Speaker: And she's like, hmm, like,
Speaker: but why, you know?
Speaker: And she's like super, she went to fucking Harvard.
Speaker: Like she's super eloquent, but she lets that rage through.
Speaker: She lets a little bit of that anger through.
Speaker: And I just, I don't know.
Speaker: I want more of it.
Speaker: I want more of it, Christine.
Speaker: I want it.
Speaker: It's like, see, it's funny.
Speaker: Cause I'm not even, I can't even get to that point.
Speaker: Cause I'm still mad that I'm not thin.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like that's the truth.
Speaker: Like I'm trying to be, stay positive about it.
Speaker: And then I don't want to, I think that that's just such a deep wound, right?
Speaker: Is like fat people being made fun of growing, like growing up, who's the butt of all the jokes?
Speaker: Fat people on TV and movies and stuff.
Speaker: It's also like growing up.
Speaker: Something I think of is like fat is what people call you when they want to hurt you.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: When they want it to fucking sting.
Speaker: And they know, they know that just that one word.
Speaker: Because again, like I will remember it forever.
Speaker: Like I fought with my brother growing up all the time.
Speaker: That's what I remember.
Speaker: That's what I remember is him going, well, you're fat.
Speaker: Well, see, that's not fun because it was in your family.
Speaker: Well, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But, but it's because the intention was to hurt the intention.
Speaker: And, and again, going back to fucking Vanderpump rules, he says it not because it's true, but he wants to hurt them.
Speaker: And it's just so, and, and how many thin women have been called fat with the intention to hurt them?
Speaker: Not because it's true.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: And then they think they need to hurt.
Speaker: And when did this word become something hurtful?
Speaker: It's, ah, yeah.
Speaker: That's what I'm saying because that's why people don't want to be it because they've been taught it's bad to be that for some reason.
Speaker: And so I actually, I'm very proud that I think I am at the point where I laugh at it and I'm not like, I don't know, as triggered as I used to be because that was something when I was little when I got called it for the first time by a boy, I was like,
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's what has led to this.
Speaker: Because that was like, no, not fun.
Speaker: I think of that all the time.
Speaker: The boys who made fun of me in elementary school who are in my fucking DMS now.
Speaker: I'm like, interesting.
Speaker: Remember when you called me that?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You don't get to see my titties, buddy.
Speaker: Sorry.
Speaker: Go home to your wife.
Speaker: You do not get to motorboat the titties.
Speaker: The only one motorboating will be me to Christine's titties when she wants it.
Speaker: Or that gay man that you let do it on the health agenda.
Speaker: Good times.
Speaker: It's been a minute.
Speaker: I gotta get back out there.
Speaker: The girlies just need to feel appreciated.
Speaker: I feel like you definitely.
Speaker: You're kind of last night of trivia.
Speaker: That would have gotten people to sign up for trivia.
Speaker: Hey, sign up for trivia.
Speaker: I'm going to have my kids up.
Speaker: Making my mother so proud.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: Oh man.
Speaker: Oh man.
Speaker: No, it's just, there's so much to unpack.
Speaker: It's just so much.
Speaker: And that's why I feel like I go through every emotion when we just talk about
Speaker: just generically existing in a big body.
Speaker: Cause I can't stay calm.
Speaker: I can't stay rational.
Speaker: I can't quote fucking books.
Speaker: Like I'm just frustrated.
Speaker: I'm really frustrated and I'm frustrated that you feel the way you feel.
Speaker: I want to like lift you up and, and hug you and also take you to your rooftop bar and take cute photos.
Speaker: I'm going to keep saying it until you do it with me.
Speaker: But yeah, so a lot of, a lot of feelings of frustration just bubble up in me.
Speaker: Just, yeah.
Speaker: But see, like, I feel like that is what a lot of obviously people are feeling.
Speaker: And we feel and you feel like you can't say any of this stuff out loud.
Speaker: Because you not only are you fat, you're a woman.
Speaker: And like I said, people don't like that mixture of people of anger.
Speaker: They don't like that anger coming at them.
Speaker: Because you know why?
Speaker: They know that we're right.
Speaker: They know we have a reason to be angry.
Speaker: They know we have a reason to be angry.
Speaker: Because we're the butt of the joke.
Speaker: We get oppressed.
Speaker: All that bullshit.
Speaker: I saw this TikTok.
Speaker: I saw this TikTok that was like, just because I'm fat doesn't mean I'm the bigger person.
Speaker: Don't get it twisted.
Speaker: Don't get it twisted.
Speaker: Oh my God, I'm done.
Speaker: I'll drag you.
Speaker: I'll drag you to the pits of the earth, honey.
Speaker: See?
Speaker: Fucking TikTok.
Speaker: You know.
Speaker: Ugh.
Speaker: Well, everyone feel your feelings.
Speaker: Feel your feelings today and every day.
Speaker: Let it out on ha.
Speaker: As our former professor would say.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Should I do the big X?
Speaker: Listen, if you feel like it, do some tremors.
Speaker: Fucking tremoring.
Speaker: No, I mean, I just think, yeah, I think allowing ourselves to, like, feel all of this is just, like, I
Speaker: I have to believe is helping allow other fat people to be fully human, be fully everything.
Speaker: And that's the point of why I wanted to do the podcast, especially with you.
Speaker: But, like, it's just funny doing it and then dealing with our, well, our feelings.
Speaker: But, like, for me, it's, like, fully being out as a little fat nugget.
Speaker: And it's weird, man.
Speaker: It's just weird.
Speaker: It's just weird.
Speaker: Girl, you ain't a nugget.
Speaker: You a chicken strip.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: You're a chicken patty.
Speaker: I literally do love chicken fingers and I say I am a chicken finger by now.
Speaker: I think you are.
Speaker: That's okay.
Speaker: No, I fucking love chicken.
Speaker: I will never apologize for chicken, for loving chicken fingers.
Speaker: No, I should do.
Speaker: Feel your feelings today, everyone.
Speaker: Feel your feelings.
Speaker: Feel your joy.
Speaker: Feel your rage.
Speaker: Just feel it all.
Speaker: There's a lot.
Speaker: And there's no such thing as a good or bad fatty.
Speaker: There's just a person.
Speaker: There's just a person.
Speaker: There's just a person who has a body.
Speaker: That's it.
Speaker: Oh my God, am I body neutral?
Speaker: Yes, that is a body neutral statement.
Speaker: Shit.
Speaker: I can't.
Speaker: It is a body neutral statement that I can get behind.
Speaker: You're on a floating rock.
Speaker: Be happy and be in your body.
Speaker: Beautiful.
Speaker: That's it.
Speaker: Unless the aliens take us all.
Speaker: The aliens can take us all.
Speaker: And maybe they like thickies.
Speaker: Wouldn't that be the plot twist of the century?
Speaker: The aliens just want all the fat people.
Speaker: That's it.
Speaker: And then what?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: They take us to a new planet, Christine.
Speaker: Let me dream.
Speaker: Good.
Speaker: And then we survive.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: The earth is dying.
Speaker: Sounds good to me.
Speaker: Ka-chow.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: We'll see y'all later.
Speaker: See ya.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Bye.
