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80 Best Horror Movies for Kids
18 Plays2 months ago
Are you ready for a hauntingly good time that's perfect for the whole family? Look no further than the Streamin' Demons podcast! In this episode, we create your ultimate guide to kid-friendly horror movies! Join hosts JM Brannyk (Box Human) and Jim Phoenix as they dive into the world of spooky cinema that won't give your little ones nightmares. Careful: The movies are for kids this podcast is NOT (potty mouths!!)
In their latest episode, Streamin' Demons takes a magical journey through three bewitching classics:
- Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Explore the darker side of Hogwarts as our hosts discuss the perfect balance of enchantment and eerie thrills.
- ParaNorman: Uncover the charms of this animated gem that blends humor with heartwarming lessons about acceptance.
- Bedknobs and Broomsticks: Travel back in time to discover why this Disney classic still casts a spell on audiences young and old.
Transcript
00:00:01
Speaker
Hey, everyone, it's me, Mick McKee. And today we're doing spooky stuff with the best horrors for care. Am I reading this right? Uh, no, man. Yet then who taught this kid to enunciate? Horror. Try it again. Take two. Hey, everybody. It's me, Mick McKee. And today we're doing the best horrors. No. Again. Horror. Horror. or I don't know how it means pain to me to say it. All right. Hey, man, we're all out of cash. Exactly. Here we go. Take three. Hey, everybody. No, you're not whores. crush Just noise music. Just play the music. Something about kids. Yeah, kids.
00:00:56
Speaker
Never have Nick Vadie do anything. That's what his podcast ain't around no more, kid. Sorry.
00:01:05
Speaker
Actually, I'm doing really well. good thanks
00:01:23
Speaker
um
00:01:26
Speaker
she
00:01:32
Speaker
Hey everyone, Jim Phoenix here. And today we're doing kids. No, wait, what? No. Am I reading the copy? Who the fuck wrote this? Allegedly. Allegedly wrote this copy. Today on the Stream of Demons. chirp chirp you do today and We're doing spooky kids' movies. We're doing spooky kids' movies. That's right. Box Human and I thought, well, you know, take some time off from the other stuff we've been doing, like the worst gay movies ever. And then Roger Corbin movies. yeah which last drive and you should Yeah. Last drive and stuff.
00:02:08
Speaker
Yeah. So now we're just on kids. That's what we do. Well, you know, I think everybody, had a few experiences when they were kids with spookiness and we're going with this. Watched. Where are we going with this? For you for movies. Okay. Thank you.
00:02:29
Speaker
I'm like, they got me worried. I'm like, dude, I got your pelvic in my head. Were you getting, were you getting out the kazoo? If Michael Jackson's the next fucking words, man. No, no. Um, there's always like a few movies that were like maybe scarier than they were supposed to be. Or maybe they were scary that just as a kid, you were like, Oh God, this gives me nightmares. Faces of debt. Well, it faces that thing. Give me nightmares to just raise questions about cows for me. Places of death, man. We'll have to do some of those, because boy oh boy. Things that were scary as a kid, but not so much now. Maybe that's our next one. Instead, things that people thought were real that are absolutely not real. No political commentary. If anyone's reading this the wrong way, we're not reading it that way. Allegedly. Allegedly not reading it anyway. I can't read. That'd be truthful. That's true.
00:03:27
Speaker
and illiterate um writer for our website. ah The computer does it for me. I don't know. I'll just tell what they do and fucking does it. So if you're new to streaming in demons, today's your day for kids. Yeah, sorry. Like and subscribe now and come back next week for our non kid show. Just like and subscribe and turn us off. That's fine. Did I already swear? I kind of did say something about Michael Jackson in that case. Yeah, I don't think this is like four children. This is for the children. Only two children, not four of them. the The child inside of you. Yeah. Again, late where's Michael? Phrasing?
00:04:11
Speaker
um da That's right, for me, but you want us. But if you are if you have kids, you just want to jam out to something that's going to be mostly horror, or maybe you have a friend who's not into spooky stuff, this is probably like the gateway drug into horror, like kids' spooky movies. yeah spookies Yeah, most of these are PG, PG 13 ish. Yeah. Actually the one that I watch, um, my mom recently watched and was very proud to watch. Yes. I was, I saw your pick. I was like, Oh, I did not think of that because I watch movies. This is, this is also true. Famous reviewer who doesn't watch movies. It's true. Unless I get paid to some, that's all I know. Pay me. I'll watch it all day long.
00:04:59
Speaker
If you don't want, I don't know what happened. No, I think we can go back and forth quickly on some of the movies we did not cover because we're boxes didn didn't cover one cover one and we're in double down. So kind of like that we didn't cover. Do you have like four? Cause I can probably knock out four. No, because we said we were going to watch them together and I was going to do it and you were going to do it. No, I mean, do do you just have like a top of your head, the titles of four of them? You don't have to go much into detail. I mean, sure. Put me on the spot. I will try. You can probably just go down ah all Tim Burton's catalog. You know, Tim Burton, it didn't really scare me as a kid. It's so weird. It doesn't have to. It just has to be horror.
00:05:45
Speaker
Like Nightmare, Nightmare on the Street, Nightmare Before Christmas. Oh, wow. Yeah. I mean, that's a great one. That's like a classic one. Coraline, Corpse Bride. Coraline. I mean, we're, we're just basically doing all claymation. Mad God. All of those kid movies. i Oh, Yes. Any movie, with a kid movie, a kid can watch it. Ooh, that's Mint Hedberg. so I was trying to look for this one on Disney and I couldn't find it maybe because I had the wrong title. so Was it The Cauldron? The Black Cauldron? No. Because I almost watched that. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow from 1949. Oh, I didn't watch that one. Yeah, I know. Oh my God. It's honest straight down is I believe my favorite kid horror. Really? Yeah. OK. 1949.
00:06:38
Speaker
But I couldn't watch it because I couldn't find it under the Dizzy Plus or Dizzy Plus Plus or what I couldn't remember what it was called, I guess that helps too. Yes. I'm like, Ichabob Crane. Like, no, that's not it. Like, oh, I don't know. Who's in it? David Bowie. No, Bing Crosby. Dang it. That's surprising. Billy Butcher. Oh, that's from the boys. Sorry. Wrong one. Billy Bluncher. So do you have anything for you? What what cartoons? yeah yeah What cartoons? Okay. What cartoons? Um, I think I watched a lot of Casper the friendly ghost as a kid. Ghostbusters, the real and the other yeah with the monkey. Oh yeah. Big fan of the monkey one. Yeah. That podcast got cut down to like 20 minutes with went on three hour rant on the monkey one.
00:07:27
Speaker
I know. Um, I was a huge fan of the extreme Ghostbusters of the real Ghostbusters. Scooby-Doo Scooby-Doo is a big one. Um, yes. Scooby-Doo's. but Treehouse of Horrors for a Simpsons. Treehouse of Horrors. Treehouse of Horrors. I think I want to go there one day. That's where I built my house. You know, and I really do. I love Halloween episodes. I like the spookiness of it. You get a lot of those with like kid things, even like Bob's burgers. There's a lot of Halloween episodes. Oh, we need a Buffy? Would Buffy be a kid? I did one season of Buffy thing and I still don't know if it's good for kids or not.
00:08:13
Speaker
I did start watching it when I was in high school. So that's technically a child. Yeah. That's teenage. Yeah. Yeah. Sabrina then would be Sabrina. Like the, not the Netflix one. That's a little bit. No, no, no, no. That's yeah the original say cat that was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The cutesy pie one. be which oh john situations Yeah. Monsters. The Munsters. Yes. Adam's family. Adam's family. Not Wednesday. movie the The movies too. The movies were fantastic. I loved the movies. I was obsessed with them. um That one scene in Willy Wonka that freaked me the hell out. Willy Wonka could be a horror movie. It does have the the the dark tunnel in the Oompa Loompa. Yeah. He goes crazy in that dark tunnel. Yeah. Eugene Wilder. Wilder, yeah. R.I.P.
00:09:04
Speaker
um That was great. Um, the witches scared the fuck out of me as a kid. Oh, you're talking about, way wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, we can talk about witches. we can talk another way you know they Well, no, I'm talking about another role, all adult, but, um, Oh, that that's the one from before. I couldn't remember the name of that one that with the witches. Um, honestly too, I will admit I was kind of obsessed with Ernest scared. Stupid. I, Don't remember that. It had Eartha Kitt in it. Oh, wow. The magic power was milk. That's what trolls or whatever they were. Eartha Kitt had a milk scene and I missed it. How did my puberty miss that? They milk me. Eartha Kitt in a milk scene? No way. Yeah. Wow. No, she was great. I just wanted to be her so bad in that movie. She was great. I loved Ernest at the time.
00:10:02
Speaker
You know, look jim barney um yeah, Jim Varnier, also R.A.P. He was, he was fun. What else do we have? There was, there's a lot of them. Hocus pocus. Hocus is focusing. Halloween tree. um There's, I mean, there is a lot of good, spooky stuff for kids out there that tease just a little bit. These podcasts bite size horror for kids by kids, sort of. Yeah. you know were and And kids do like that kind of stuff. I remember there was this one book that my mom used to read, and I'm sure people of my generation would be like, oh my God, yeah, that book. And it wasn't the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. That was also a good book series. But this one had this one. It was too dark. It was too dark. How could you read it? Oh, I read it. It's scary. But it was in the dark. But it was an autonomy. Did you have, like, kindle? No, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark.
00:11:01
Speaker
to tell, like you're telling a story. Other people, maybe ghosts. You don't know. Do tell. Oh, do tell. Do tell. We tell. Three tells. Are we doing poker now? Um, and then the other book was the one with, it had this girl named Jenny and she had this ribbon around her neck. And I think that's called Forrest Gump. Forrest Gump is not a sc movie no this only because he does so much and like, Oh my God, I didn't do any of that stuff. Horace Gump is scary because there's a, there's dicks in it. And I remember my teacher forgot that and she was showing it and she was like, Oh my God. And she ran up and had to cover the dicks scene. She covered him with her hands. I believe that's now not the best way to cover them. So in this story, basically she's got a ribbon. Was she moving her hand around a lot? Well, on let's go back to your teacher. So when your teachers, like, um going guy
00:11:59
Speaker
She would put her hands on the TV but so we wouldn't see. When she's putting her hands on the TV so you wouldn't see, I always tell the projector that the TV is even better. Did it look like the Bill Maher joke of Trump dancing? I was turning two guys off at the same time. Oh, that goes... Welcome to shows. kids' shows. Let's move on, shall we? So there's a lot of kid movies out there and if you're like, man, I'd like to watch that movie, not the one where the teacher is drinking out for a scum, but I guess Joanna Angel probably did that one with small hands, honey eyes. And at the end, Jennay takes the ribbon off, your head falls off. It's a very spooky scene. Spooky, spooky. So today, there's a, as I said, we had the hardest part for this one is narrowing it down or finding the one you wanted to wear or watch. Jesus.
00:12:53
Speaker
you know, they're very fashionable these days. um Yeah, it was really hard to kind of narrow it down. And honestly, when my mom brought it up this movie again, I was like, you know, that solidified my choice, because I was kind of contemplating it. And then I'm like, you know, that she's right. It's a great kids film. That's also scary. It's really scary. And we mean like kids, cause like that even wrecking over a pitcher. So I think that's a little more between. No, that's yeah. My parents shut it off yeah after a certain scene. frankly like And then it, and then it ends yeah after 20 minutes, go to bed. The car broke down the end. What happened? Oh, they probably all die or something. I don't know. Basically he makes Rocky and then it's like, okay, time for bed.
00:13:40
Speaker
No, you got that far. I don't know if I would get down to the elevator scene. To me as a as ah child, I was like, wow, that's great. It's about a guy who creates life. The end is Frankenstein. So for our choices today, we all had to pick one plus we're going to double team bed knobs and broomsticks. We are Angela Lansbury. And I'm curious about yours. What was yours? Mine was paranormal. Who cares? That's what the yours is. Oh, all the voices come today. All the voices are good. That's great. No, really. What was yours? Mine was paranormal. Who cares? Mine was paranormal. I'm drinking and as I do this. It's like the ventricles of Mac to this point. What was yours again? Paranormal. Who cares? Are you drinking liquid IV?
00:14:38
Speaker
No, you know, the funny thing about that. I saw a flavor actually would want, I'm like, damn it, after I trash a shit out of them, ah they dropped us. They actually had that bomb pop now. So I bought in prime instead, or I think it's called prime or something, competitor. Not that it would be as bad, go drink it, rehydrate it. It's a multiplier. If Jenny had a multiplier, she wouldn't have had that fall off. No, she wouldn't have. So you're doing paranormal Norman paranormal. Yes. Cause his name is Norman. Not Franken dog wiener. I'm not going to watch Franken wiener. Okay. So there are two different movies in in the movie my mind. They're the same movie. That's a massive. So paranormal is not Frank. Absolutely. I guess the title, probably give it away. to di That's more, um,
00:15:32
Speaker
Body horror. We just talked about him. What's like an objection? That's the dancer doing. Is that a racist dance now? No. Coraline people, this is more of, I think, their film. yeah like aside shit we should end that one too it was The production company was like a like box trolls. like Oh yeah, okay. yeah It's more light.
00:16:01
Speaker
Oh, box jokes. It's funny. It's funny, but it's not specifically light. Actually, it's pretty fucking dark. Is it dark? Is it black and white ish or gray? skin No, no, it's, it is color. Um, it's about a boy who can talk to dead people. Yeah. Yo, yo, yo. That's that's unless you're talking about a particular group from South Africa. You can't say that word. Sorry. I can't say it cause it's in color. but dude yeah Oh my God. Anyway, he talks to ghosts and nobody believes him and everybody calls him a freak. And they live in this kind of Salem-esque town with this witch and they've profited from the witch and supposedly she has a curse. Haha. Well, it turns out to be true. And he is the only one who can stop it. And he finds out that
00:16:52
Speaker
Not everything is as it seems. Right. And not everything is as fair as it seems. And it basically deals with... Oh, no, no, no. It deals with baby Yoda. Holy shit. Leave with that, Fox. Trigger warning. Trigger warning about a little girl who was killed for being a witch. How did that trigger warning? Frickin' dark. Wait, how did that trigger warning? Because child death is pretty frickin' dark. It's a cartoon, right? It's um live ah it's ah not live action. It's live action. Oh my God. It's documentary GMO. It's not, it's um a stop motion. Stop motion. Okay. Well, okay. So it's the Tim Burton, right? It's and no, it's not Tim Burton. I'm telling you that. Really? Am I just making this shit up? Who did that one?
00:17:40
Speaker
That was like I said, with like, who dropp who read it, who wrote it. Um, so the person who wrote it was Chris Butler. Oh, Chris Butler, Chris Butler and Sam fall. Oh yeah. Makes sense. So do for them. Yep. And it has, you know, Casey Affleck in it. It has John Goodman in it. Um, It's got a lot of good talents and it's, like I said, it's funny. There's parts that you're going to laugh, um, that kids will laugh at that adults will laugh at, but it's also this really dark story and about basically, um, doing better in the future, like having these dark skeletons in the closet, you know, and yeah basically doing better for ourselves and for our futures.
00:18:30
Speaker
Dude, why is Skelter in the closet? He's wearing leather. I'm pretty sure the secret's out. I know, but we love him for it. We just love him for it. All right, him and Prince Adam wearing that battle harness. I think that might be a secret. Well, what was his, what was beast man? He's a furry beast man. And many faces, one face of public, one face of bedroom. I guess that's spooky too. Cause skeleton man at arms. Planet arms. So i was been a pretty have a good job. Uh, but so what we're saying is back to this movie, back to, po is it norman
00:19:16
Speaker
Is it done? I'm trying to remember, is it done realistically? Is it the world realistic to seriousness? Is it kind of zany? as a How would you pay? it
00:19:29
Speaker
Today's Phrasing Show for little kids. They always little phrases to your parents, kids. I would say that um it's it's a very typical tale of like being an outcast and having this ability and your dad being an absolute shit about it and your mom just kind of like, will you be okay? And people not believing in you, and but at the end believing in yourself. I want to see, I'm pretty sure I saw it the way you were explaining it makes me go, Oh, it sounds familiar, but i I don't have the visual memory of it right now. So I might have to go see it again.
00:20:04
Speaker
you You might have to go see it. I own it. um but Like I said, my mom recently watched it. She really liked it. cool It's just a really good story. It has great music. and it's Like I said, it's funny. like there are and The acting, just the timing is so great and the expressions from the characters is just so funny that you will laugh, but also you will get kind of scared because it has a high stakes, very high stakes. And it's all about acceptance. And I think we kind of need that right now. Oh cool. and Weirdly my movies like that too. I appreciate this box. I you're invigorating me. I'm going to watch a movie tonight. I'm going to watch paranormal paranormal paranormal watch something.
00:20:52
Speaker
You'll watch something. I'm going to watch, I don't know. You're going to watch a paranormal show and say it was paranormal. Like this isn't claymation at all. What the hell is box smoking? You're probably just going to watch Frankenweenie and be like, what is this? I don't know. Anyway, out of the Cthulhu, I'm going to give it a five. Wow. it Yeah. I've watched it many times. I'll watch it many times. It's very cute. I got a five. Good Lord. Five out of five. It's fun. Okay. Now I'm sweating because you know, I wasn't gonna do go go bust busters, but we did a whole podcast and just go spuster. So I don't want to do that one. Jones could be super horror. Like that guy ripping that heart out. I know, but I don't think it's for kids. It scared me. I don't think I don't know. This might be it.
00:21:47
Speaker
I watched it as a kid. I watched, well, you know, we're different that way. I'm going to go with, and this I believe is the first one that can be truly done as a horror adjacent, but it's rated PG still from 2004. I did watch this recently just for this kind thing, man. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Which one is that? Sirius Black. Yeah, but no, which one is that in the movie? Serious black parts.
00:22:24
Speaker
Is it like the fourth booby? Oh, I see what you're saying. I think it's towards the middle. I don't want to name them all, man. I'm lazy. It's the first one that Gary Oldman's in. That's all I know. Some of it is fine. I'll name them all. So you've got like the dude with the hat, Philosopher of Stone. You got probably the Chamber of Secrets and people are like, that's not the order. I don't care really. A gob, gob of the fire. Is that, is that before or after this one? I yeah i don't know. I i've watched one half of two movies of the Harry Potter piece.
00:23:02
Speaker
All right. It made me look stuff up. Fine. It does go ahem, ahem, ahem, ahem, ahem. Source, source of philosopher's stone, whichever continent you have to be on. Then the Chamber of Secrets, then prisoner of asthma, Swiss number three, then goblet, and then order, then half blood, then definitely hallows one and two. Geez. So many. Yes. Okay. So like the third, like the third one. Okay. And this is the first one, although the other ones had kind of spooky elements. This one usually got it for, whoa, this is this is three years going out and this is pretty, pretty scary. Okay. Especially for PG audience. Okay. Because it deals with spoiler alert from a movie that's 20 years old.
00:23:54
Speaker
It deals with werewolves, people getting lacerated, and death eaters, dementors, and all sorts of things that could just give you nightmares forever and ever and ever. Gotcha. And so this is the big one where kids, I think, were probably not my generation because we didn't have this stuff. We had Lion Witch and a Wardrobe for my generation. The books. C.S. Lewis. The books, yeah, not the series. Yeah. We also had the, uh, the other token thing. What was that? The Lord of the Rings, the cartoon. Yeah, that was bad. But that was like, it was good when I was a kid, but I didn't have enough drugs to watch that. I'm trying to be sober now. A kid and I still don't partake in that. So I was trying to figure out what would be the thing for the generation of millennials. Yeah. That was Harry Potter, I guess.
00:24:49
Speaker
Yeah, I think so. It really resonated. And I think that was the movie when, kind of like to quote, the shit got real. you know like from what I've heard, like that's where it kind of turned to, oh, the stakes are really high. Yeah. People die, die. This is when people are starting to really die. This is where bad things could absolutely happen at any time. And Harry is now old enough to understand that horrible things are all around in any world, especially the wizarding world. And we see the abused child thing in the beginning of the movie. We see the,
00:25:29
Speaker
well we see what Oxford calls the Dementors. The Dementors actually work their way into the vernacular. That's what Oxford calls, if you're caught cheating, they send you they send the Dementors after to you. And then they suck out all of the happiness. They don't even get caught because they get suspected of cheating. So that's become that. And of course, there's been a bit of a shot at Oxford as well. So this is the first real big scary one, 2004, PG. If you don't know Harry Potter by now, I don't know. I think you could probably watch this oh and as as a standalone. It kind of works as a movie with into itself, but it's far stronger if you wash or read the other books as well. Like if this is your first, if you're gonna watch one Harry Potter film, sure. Why not? But I think the franchise is worth investing into it.
00:26:24
Speaker
straight that not the entire franchise, fabulous beasts and stuff. No. yeah Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, now I know just from pop culture and stuff and some like dipping my toes in, like I know the music is great. I know that the acting is great. Um, what would you say? Cause I'm sure there's going to be CGI in this. There's going to be like CGI effects. So what, how do you feel about like the effects? Like how are they done? I have to say the effects are awesome. I have to say that because I know people on the team, but the effects are awesome. The effects are awesome. Now the acting mostly good, but they own, there's some other little kids. I believe allegedly, I believe ah Daniel Radcliffe is not quite struggling with alcohol yet.
00:27:24
Speaker
There's some movies talking about not as from his own words, but okay I don't know. The alleged part is like, you don't know if this was one of them. Where? Whereabouts? Because there's there's some times where in the later movies, he is quite tipsy on camera. um Like, you know, he's just shit-faced. Oh, man. What's in the part? Yeah, I don't remember any of this. I'm like, oh, fuck. There's a reason why, then. It still pulls off because he's supposed to act that way on camera, but you know, it kind of worked for the scene, but you know, it's not quite there. This is also the first time where Hermione starts becoming more of a character okay versus just a foil that knows everything. Yeah. Yeah. She starts screwing into her own.
00:28:10
Speaker
And of course, for those of you who have not known this before. Oh, yes, I forgot until you just started. What? You're your your buddy. Your buddy's in this film. Oh, well, the guitar. I don't like Tom Felton. Is that my friend? Yeah, Tom Felton. I like him. Tom Felton's got a new single out. Go check it out on Apple Music. Well, I was going to talk about, I don't know, I was going to talk about Gary Oldman, come on. Oh yeah, Gary Oldman. Richard Griffin's, Pam Ferris, Fiona Shaw, Harry Miller. We get into people like... Is David Tennant in it yet? No, that's the next one. Okay. Gary Oldman's in this one.
00:29:00
Speaker
And we have, well, okay. We've got someone that's kind of, I'm not going to say weird, but there's two people you, throw ah besides Alan Rickman and Megan Smith and Robbie Coltrane. So we have Robbie Coltrane. You probably didn't know that one. And Warwick Davis is in it. Oh, we're little motherfuckers. That's right. yeah Dawn French is in it and as well. It's from French and Saunders, if you don't know that. And Julie Christie's in it as well. God, there's there's a lot of people who are just in it. They might have a line or two, but there is in it. and ah Emma Watson. No, wait. Of course, Emma Watson's in it. Jeez, man. And Emma Watson said, do you know that, Emma? Wow. Really? Yes. In this one. Just in this one, though, right? Just in this one. I want to say Emma Thompson. It came out Emma Watson. Sorry. Emma Thompson's in it.
00:29:52
Speaker
And Emma Thompson is doing a great job. She should have gotten the Oscar if we're doing the monster. If we're doing that logic, because they make Emma Thompson look ugly. And that's basically how the other person won from the monsters. They looked ugly. Right? It wasn't the acting skills, obviously. And Emma Thompson is a beautiful woman. Emma Thompson is amazing. I miss her stuff in Shakespeare too. So out of five Gufus, what did you give yours five? I can't guess a five 4.5 out of five Gufus. Okay. But mine's a franchise, yo. Do the entire franchise now. Now, as we tiptoe around everything else about it, whatever you do, don't Google it. Just watch it. Just just go out and watch it, like support the kids.
00:30:49
Speaker
Yeah. Those kids. Yeah. They're great. They're great wow great stuff. 4.5. That's not bad. Emma Watson had gotten to Beauty and the Beast, which would be another... Yeah, she did. Another movie. Now, yeah our combined movie is what? and Well, a Disney movie that you're talking about Disney, it's bed knobs and broomsticks. It is not only a Disney movie. It is the weirdest fricking Disney movie you ever was going to watch. So, li mcdonald Angela and David Talley. Angela Lansbury is 50 years old because I had to look it up because I'm like, she she looks really good, but also a little bit older. And I had to look it up and she was like 50 and in this is the Mel Brooks thing.
00:31:46
Speaker
where you've always seen Algernon Lansbury as Murder, She Wrote. Right, exactly. You've always seen Mel Brooks as the older character, so you're like, how old they have me now? I was like, yeah. Yeah. I think that's accurate. She was good. She was good. No, she was great. I mean, it was great to hear her speak because she is she was a British actress. She came to the States in 1940 because of the bombings. And that's what this kind of movie is about is about Nazis. I okay he did not expect.
00:32:25
Speaker
You did not see that coming. I know. and It's got Bruce force within it. But our part force up in it. Now the Nazi thing is weird because when they attack a they're all speaking fucking English, which I guess they could be German too. Well, for British fucking accent. ah yeah And being like, so no one's wearing like Nazi, Nazi uniform is just more like the kind of like we're blending in. What was it like? Um, with Colonel Clink and Hogan's heroes. Yeah, it was more like Hogan's heroes than it was. vahika our Although, although I hear there was a crossover between Schindler's list and Bedknapp's broomsticks.
00:33:11
Speaker
It's really dark, you guys. That was the last spell. It was the last spell. It's really dark. Yeah, this... Okay, so this was the absolute first time I had ever seen this maybe. Really? Oh my god. You're welcome. The horrible thing about this is it was actually cheaper to buy it than to rent it, so I now own this movie. You damn right you do. And I could not make heads or tails of it. I was cursing you because I'm like, okay. I liked, okay. So it's about this witch, Angela Lansbury. And she's forced to take these kids because there's bombings in London and there's this old person army there.
00:34:02
Speaker
Yes, there actually is an old person's army in England at that time. yeah You know what? And you are not going to see them until the end of the movie. um But you will see balls and arrows. You see bows and arrows and animations and one really weird acid trip. When we got to the acid trip, I was like, absolutely what the fuck is going on? Where did we go? Why are we here? I thought you were going to say that. I thought you were going to say aile lasry was chickpe acid and not two kids.
00:34:36
Speaker
No, she was actually three kids, three kids. I'm like, I'm not a kid no more. Terrible children. They are all terrible children. oh Maybe the girl is okay. They're are horrible. there that She, took she meets this con man. Um, and basically they have to get a McGuffin. And so they go to this, um, portobello road fair, or whatever, And these kids are awful. They're like drawing on stuff. But Box, you have to hold up. How did they get to this place? Tell the listeners how they got there. Did they take a car? No. Maybe walk. They did. She's a terrible witch, but she managed to pull off um sending them through time and space on a bed. Yes.
00:35:29
Speaker
the but The movie starts kind of with Angela Lansbury trying to get three little kids to come in bed with her. That's basically the start of the movie. Phrasing. Phrasing. That is phrasing, but it gets kind of like. crazy And then you're like, now play this knob and turn it this way. I'm like, are you shitting me? who wrote which is Which again is just, and the kids are just awful. like And she sings a song to one of them, where she's like, stopping such a shit, believe in something you little twat, get on the butt. I'm too old to be an imagination.
00:36:05
Speaker
Even though, and this is after she's turned him into a rabbit, you guys. Like, I don't understand. i more yeah Okay. I want to say the animal cruelty in this movie was horrific. I don't think they're real animals though. No, the honey is a real animal. The cat is a real cat sometimes. It's a puppet sometimes. But they step on its tail. they When it's meowing really loud, he like tries to strangle it, kind of. um She pulls the rabbit up by its ears. Out of the hat. No, not out of the hat. How much did you pull a rabbit out? and She's also wearing sunglasses through this too, by the way.
00:36:49
Speaker
sunglasses. Oh no, it's just really dark in the scene. I thought it was sunglasses. No, she doesn't wear sunglasses. She wears glasses. She has these like nor nerdy little glasses. She's a nerdy witch. She's like this nerdy little witch. She hates children, which I identified. I mean, like, I don't hate children, but if some the government told me you have to take these three kids in, I'd be kind of pissed, you know? but And they try to blackmail her because they find out she's a witch. They find out that she was taking them to bed. um No, this is me play theno or that this was before playing with any knobs. um They blackmail her, but then she turns one of them into a rabbit.
00:37:30
Speaker
And then the cat almost eats it. Um, how would you think about that box? How would you think about bed knobs and broom six? How would you think like, you know, it hasn't been w four, a witch taking a flying bed. I mean, she did this. Right. But how would you think as a writer, as a writer, I would be like, this is weird. This is really weird, especially as we didn't even get to the Island of the jungle book. humba dumba. I don't remember what the word was, but it was dumb. And first they go in underwater and they dance underwater. And here's what I thought too that was really rude, is they're looking at all these fish doing like these human type traits like dancing and singing.
00:38:18
Speaker
And all of these people on the bed, including the shyster, the con man, they're all pointing and laughing at these fish. And I'm like, you assholes. Like, that was your problem. ah That was, it wasn't the absolutely and racist middle part about the jungle coming out of nowhere. No, we, we get racist even before that. We got to play some baccas. Yes, we do. We got to, we got to play it. No, it was even before that. Cause they had a dancing number that went on for forever and it had dance dance. I'm quoting guys dances from people all over the world.
00:38:59
Speaker
Um, and their native guard, there was, there was, I believe, Indian guards that came out and they had a fake, I think they were all brown face and they had like this fake Indian dance guys. And then guys with boxes leaving out, which the weirdest thing is that parts the cartoon and they put the cartoon and the people had brown face. It was weird. they could just go made them indian like i know this is This is live action. This is live action. But then we get to, The animated part, which completely blew my mind, because if you had just taken it out completely, you could have taken it out completely. It would have been no rhyme. It's no rhyme, no reason. You go there to get McGuffin, and the lion is like, hey, we have to play football, which is American soccer. And you have to be the referee. Why?
00:39:57
Speaker
who's watching this fuck is it happening. And it is basically animal, like this whole movie is animal brutality. Cause the animals, one of them has an alligator and like pushes it so hard that his jaws come out. Like it is brutal. You know, I used to have an elevator and then they took it away after I saw this movie. I started abusing my elevator. Yeah. Yeah. Cause, and that's how you play soccer is by punching each other. I think that is how it works out. Absolutely. Absolutely. I have a question. I hated that part. What have you ever seen the jungle book?
00:40:39
Speaker
Yes. Okay. In my mind, I can't differentiate between part of this movie and the Jungle Book. that you using like Yeah, they're absolutely reusing. Absolutely. They're like, we paid for this shit. We're going to wait for the son of a bitch. You know what? No, it's not the Jungle Book. It is, um, it's not the Jungle Book. It's, it's the, uh, the Fox one, Robinhood. It's the same like lion design from Robinhood. But the other people are, I don't know which came first, but the lions are from Robinhood.
00:41:15
Speaker
Yeah. And then everything else is like jungle book. I think the bear and the snake or the snake also from, okay. I don't think they're, I can't remember if there was a snake, but the bear is definitely the straight out animation. Then they did this really weird color gradient shit. What was that? Like we're flying through a color gradients. We're like, I think they're going back in time, but it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all wibbly wobbly color gradient. Yeah. It's like, why am I doing man? It's very acid. Yeah. it's It's just a whole lot. They try to put it... Okay, so then we finally get back from the stupid um and a jungle book rigmarole. The kid says, oh, actually, i they get they try to get the MacGuffin. They have the MacGuffin. When they get back, it's like, oh, I guess we can't take the MacGuffin because it disappears. And then the the little kid's like, oh, I have the words. It's in this one book.
00:42:14
Speaker
you could have completely cut out the whole higher thing thing. The whole thing scrap it. It's garbage. It does not add to anything. And there's con man is almost killed several times during this soccer ball match. And there's buzzards on the sidelines, like waiting to eat him. And all the people are, it's so like dry British because they're just like, Oh, I hope he's alive. Well, he's moving. like
00:42:47
Speaker
You know, what are you even talking about? That's part two of the movie. We're not even in part three. Should I tell you, should I make you kind of depressed at this point? Why? What did this come first? Well, first of all, Angela Lansbury gets a golden globe nominee for best actress. She should, but the shit she had to get through. Yeah, it was supposed to be to have been, who did the Julie Andrews? No, she got pulled out. And she was like, I don't want to. And then like, I'll do it. And then by that time they're like, no, we got Angela Lansbury. Yeah, I think there's been a completely different vibe if this was Julie Andrews. It would have, it would have. And honestly, I don't think it would have been a better vibe.
00:43:35
Speaker
I think Angela Lansbury was good in the role. It was just such crap writing. It was so one of us put it in a blender. It won the Oscar for somebody. No, no, it did. For what? 1972 Oscar. For what? Best picture? Best effects. Best picture. No. Okay. Nominated for best picture. Thank God. Okay. I could kind of see because again, this is when they were combining live action with cartoon, but Mary Poppins did it so much better. So much better. Well, plus it had a story. Although, although Mary Poppins, not a good adaptation from the book. No. Cause she had a mean little son of a gun in the book.
00:44:23
Speaker
Yeah, Julie Andrews actually was much nicer in that. I agree. And then you had Dick Van Dyke doing whatever. Dick Van Dyke is always Dick Van Dyke. Okay. So the third part of this movie is they get back. They don't have the MacGuffin, but then they have the words they need anyway. And so she, it's this big, long thing of like, Oh, I want to basically make inanimate objects animate. Like that was the big thing. Oh, we didn't even talk about like the book guy and like somebody pulling a knife on them. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. well't No. and There's a couple of movies in this one movie. And then Nazis. When we got to Nazis, I just threw my notepad because I'm like, what the fuck are we doing?
00:45:16
Speaker
It's a, it's a kid's movie about Nazis. It's a kid's movie about Nazis. And so she, they're in this museum and she's like, Oh, I don't know what we're going to do. And they're like, we'll just do that. Spell on all of these suits of armor and stuff. And so they do. It's in Hogwarts. Definitely hollows. And brings it all back. The effects, I will agree, are pretty good for that time and that era. However, there was not enough suits of armor to like span what it shows in the movie. Like it's like a hill after hill of like knights and stuff in armor. And it's like, no, this is a small museum in a small place. You have like 10 if you're lucky. Oh, and I thought it was like magic. I did them up from everywhere across England.
00:46:09
Speaker
Maybe, maybe, but that would have taken a long time to get there. That's your fucking logic hitch. Then there's enough suits of armor in there. It wasn't like the broomsticks. One of many, Jim. I love the movie. um The sexual overtones of three little kids that throughout the entire fucking movie. Well, okay. And then there's that weird part where The lady who gave her the kids comes back and they're like, oh, we're going to take him since you hate kids. And she's like, no, I well, I kind of like them now. No, I want kids. And they immediately are like, well, you're going to be our new mom and dad, right? And it's like, what? What? And then the guy gets creeped out because he's like, I don't want to be a dad, even though I'm like 50. So he leaves. But then he comes back and that she falls in love with
00:47:04
Speaker
the whichitch oh think i just said the witch. network won the kids No, not one of the kids. late No, he falls in love with her and I guess they keep the kids and she quits being a witch. And like, that's the end the end. She stops having her dreams. She stops her, her ear. Good man. Just a man. A con man. A con man. What do you think Van Dyke was a con man? Yes, he was. But not as bad. Not as bad though. Like he wasn't as bad. love later mind like oh what How much does this movie make, you know? Well, it made a lot of money. 20 million. Yeah. What was the budget? I don't even want to know what the budget was. I can't see it right now. Let me see. Yeah, look at the budget.
00:47:55
Speaker
But I don't know if that's 20 million adjusted or 20 million at the time. Yeah. Okay. According to Wikipedia, so you can only take this as much as you can. The budget was like 6.3 million and the box office was 17.9. So it made money. It made some money. um And I was wrong, the release date was 1971. Yeah, December 13th. And then I guess they went back and cut a whole bunch of stuff out of it. And then in the 90s, they went and put it back in because they cut out like 20 minutes. And honestly, you could have cut out that whole part with the Jungle Book.
00:48:36
Speaker
Cause it made no sense. Oh, but it does. And this, this might be part of the reason why you're having a bit ah of an issue with the movies disjointedness a bit. And I think a lot of people do not just you it's based on two books. so Okay. Yeah, that is probably like from the forties and fifties. Yeah, that's probably why. Yeah. Just smashing books together does not work. It just doesn't work. But when these books were done, I'm going to ask you a question. When would World War II end? 1945. This book came out in 43, the other one came out in 47. The original books were from Mary Norton, The Magic Bedknob and How to Become a Witch in 10 Easy Lessons or How to Become a Mission. I kind of get that because you're still reeling from World War II. There's still that atmosphere.
00:49:37
Speaker
But this is a 1971, so. So whether they're paying it back. They're the kids who grew up on the book going, I can make a movie now. Yeah, I mean, that's kind of the thing. Like we always go retro. Right. You know, the kids are now going to the 90s. It's an glorious bastards of the 70s with kids and Disney and dancing. They are living out their Nazi killing dreams or their Nazi. Yeah. Like the kids and the witch. about anyone getting killed, overtake all these Nazis? See, like, yeah, they do. And honestly, I'm for that. I'm for witches against Nazis. I've borrowed this. It's just I think I wanted a ah more concrete story. Now, my question to you is because you suggested this film. Where the fuck it was I supposed to be scared at just because she's a witch?
00:50:35
Speaker
Is she with you? see Are you kidding me? It's got a spooky, spooky scare. Again, horror is going to be subjective, man. Was it the the like the soldiers? Like them like rising up? Like the guys were medieval suits? If you're a little kid watching this. Yeah. Because I actually was a little kid watching this. I was worried i was watching this a little bit after when it came out. And I have memories of the fantastical. I have memories of a cliffhanging fight with the Nazis and there's there's something that's in trouble and the guy can get eaten by a lion and he's got to play soccer. And this old woman is trying to get these kids to bed. I don't want to like walking around with someone doing that stuff. It is akin to Legend of Sleepy Hollow for me.
00:51:33
Speaker
where It's got the animation. It doesn't have to be ultra spooky. that the The imagination is there with you. This is not to get your imagination going. And then you kind of carry a bit of it. But it's, it's, it's a nice little war time. Rah, rah, old people, maybe I'm scared of old people too. I don't know. Right. I guess. I suppose like it is in the witch camp and we just talked about witches. um It's rated G. It's not like it's going to like blood guts. I know. This is the kids podcast. I know. I know. I know. I don't know. I just, there were other like little monsters scared the crap out of me. Like movies for kids could still be scary. When did the monsters come out? In the eighties. When I was a kid.
00:52:24
Speaker
Um, eighty nine yeah. And there is still spooky stuff in movies after this movie came out. but won't I know. I'm just, I'm just saying, like, I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying. and Was it spooky to me? Not really. I guess I, if I were a kid, I guess I would be spooked out by the, the like, you know, medieval soldiers and stuff, because I wouldn't have realized that it was a spell to make them just animate. I would have probably thought it was ghosts inside there, which is creepy. Oh, it reminds me of Halloween. Not everything Halloween's got to be scary. Like Halloween, the movie or Halloween, the activity? No, the movie. Okay. Because you both have a kind of babysitter, the the surrogate mother figure.
00:53:17
Speaker
And then you have like a con man because he's selling William Shatter mass door to door. So the this, the terror is actually becoming a family and leaving your career to to raise said family. Yeah. I get that. halle All right. What would you give it? What would you give the movie? Oh man, a 2.5. It was boring in parts and confusing in others. And the songs were not even good. so Okay. You're saying the song. I'm gonna get a solid four. Okay. Four. Okay. You can give it Bam. I wasn't enchanted. Bam. That's not the one we can see in enchanted.
00:54:00
Speaker
all right Not bad, not bad. What do you want to plug? Uh, since we're talking about children. Oh, I want to plug allegedly. I went to plug um want don't talk baby. yeah Nice. do Um, this is actually, um, something based in Detroit. Um, it's called Detroit creativity project and you can find it Detroit creativity project.org and it is improv.
00:54:31
Speaker
for Detroit students. and um One of the co-founders is an actor that I really like who does a lot of improv. and It's to build confidence and social skills and you know, uh, artistry. So again, that's Detroit creativity project dot.org. I can get behind that. I dig that. Thanks. I think there should be more positive after or per school projects. Absolutely. And especially improv does give people confidence and the ability to go out there and be a little bit vulnerable and have fun.
00:55:13
Speaker
So do guns and drugs. No, no, it doesn't bad. Where's my kazoo? I don't know. I don't know. All right, Jim, what about you? Hey, what am I going to plug? Well, you know what? Because this movie was from 71, I'm going to plug a Gen X book. Surviving Gen X. iss Now the deluxe deviations. Shit, is that it? Yeah, I think so. deluxe deviation additions out on hardback. Ooh. If you don't have Norma doll's book already, go get your next instead surviving Joe next by Joe chef check. Check it out. That's all I got all this to say. Good show. Yeah.
00:55:59
Speaker
Good show, kids. Under an hour. Nicely up. Next up, we've got some other things coming out. Maybe we'll have some minis. We're not sure where we might have some live stuff. Jen comes coming up. Jen Khan is coming up with a bunch of interviews sprouting up from there. I thought you said Jim Khan. I'm like, you're having a conversation. I should have my own confession. Damn it. Jim Hoing Jim Scott a lot. Like working out. No, no, not work out people. named yeah as Who cares? Yeah, that's that's my sponsor. Who cares? There youall you All right, kids, next up, we've got other stuff, but until then, see you later. Bye. Bye.
00:56:42
Speaker
I pressed it. I did press it. Good for me. I press the button. Good job. a
00:56:53
Speaker
dear da
00:57:03
Speaker
Probably as Bigfoot, let me call it. Kind of sad. Yeah, they haven't seen him. He's probably on vacation. Or a forest fires. I don't know. Oh God. He is in the middle of the woods. That's true. I mean, he's set free, but he's probably tagged him. I wish. Yeah.
00:57:24
Speaker
I hear a cat. I love looking at it. Yeah, motherfucker.