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Ep. 29: How To Get Your Goals With Hypnosis
149 Plays3 years ago
Can you be hypnotized? What does it take to have success with hypnosis?
If you are wondering if hypnosis is a good fit for you, in this podcast you will learn:
- The attitudes, values and beliefs that help you get the most out of going to a professional hypnotist.
- Some challenges that may come up during a hypnosis program, and why growing through these challenges can improve your quality of life and success by leaps and bounds.
- How to get out of internal debate and make a single minded decision to take action toward your goal.
Chris Halbohm is the founder of Bergen-Keystone Hypnosis. Over the past 20 years, he has seen thousands of hypnosis clients, and he has owned hypnosis clinics and state-licensed hypnosis schools around the US. He has made multiple appearances on local and national TV. He also offers his skills in fun, family-friendly stage hypnosis shows.
You can connect with Chris at https://www.KeystoneHypnosisCenter.com.
To find out more about how hypnosis training can help you get your goals, go to https://www.hypnosistrainingcanada.com
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Transcript
Embracing Mistakes and Acceptance
00:00:00
Speaker
A lot of what you're saying has to do with acceptance, self-acceptance. Accepting oneself as a human being, as a person that, let's face it, we all make mistakes. We all have to learn. Knowing that we're loved, knowing that we're accepted is a big deal. That really helps a person to not feel like they're at stake in the new things that they're trying to do, because we're going to make mistakes as we try new stuff. If we can eliminate the shame cycle part of it, oh, that's not necessary. I can do this with discovery or adventure instead.
00:00:30
Speaker
And oh, by the way, I'm still loved. You want to transform yourself and improve your life. You long to help people. You wish to become healthier, happier, and more successful.
Exploring Hypnosis with Robbi Spier-Miller
00:00:44
Speaker
This show is your opportunity to learn how to use hypnosis to make your life better. Each week, hypnotist Robbie Spear Miller interviews people who have already changed their lives in amazing ways with hypnosis.
00:00:57
Speaker
These models can help you discover your path to making the most of your life. If you want to learn how hypnosis can help you reach your goals, this show is for you. Hello, everybody. I'm Robbi Spier-Miller, the host of the Hypnosis Show podcast. And today, we're going to explore a really interesting topic, which is how you can make the most of your experience with seeing a hypnotist so you can get the most success from doing that.
00:01:26
Speaker
And I have with me Chris Halbaum, who's one of my colleagues who I've known for many years. He's a master hypnotist and the founder of Bergen Keystone Hypnosis and has also had many hypnosis schools around the US and made many appearances on local and national TV. He's been doing this for over 20 years. He also does family-friendly stage hypnosis shows.
00:01:49
Speaker
And so he's here to share his insight and wisdom about how to help you get the most of your experience when you do choose to go and see a hypnotist.
Chris Halbaum on Learning from Mentors
00:01:59
Speaker
So welcome, Kress.
00:02:01
Speaker
Hi, Robbie, very happy to be with you and I'm excited to be here and thank you for everything that you're doing for the industry too and for our team. Yeah, it's my pleasure. So what would be great is for you to start by sharing with us what are some of the things that you learned early on in your career about how you can engage with hypnosis for more success, like where there's some challenges you had, where there's some things you needed to grow through or realize to allow that to happen.
00:02:29
Speaker
Oh, yes. Oh, wow. Yes. There was so much. And early on, you know, working with Scott McFall, I had a lot of successes early on, of course, but, um, I wasn't really as mature at the time. I wasn't really as open and willing to take the feedback. I took it, but you know, I, and I did the actions, but it took me a while. It really took me a while to get into
00:02:57
Speaker
the respect frame and you know I still practice it. So what do you mean by like let's let's people don't really know what you mean by respect frame so let's explore that a little so that they know what what this really means and how it applies for them. Sure respect in terms of following the mentor and listening and being very open and kind of
00:03:24
Speaker
really taking in, absorbing it like a sponge, the direction that's coming at you, so that you can just model what is being presented in front of you, not question it, not judge it, not feel like you have to be ahead of it, which was one of the things that I had a feeling that I had to... There was a joke that Scott made for a while that, gosh, Chris, you thought you had to be born with a manual for life at birth.
00:03:53
Speaker
So it was definitely, it took me some years actually to not feel like I had to get ahead of it and start to feel a little bit more vulnerable with Scott and with anything that was helping me, anyone who was helping me to actually open up and start to learn in a real way. And all learning happens against our will, but it took me a while to
00:04:24
Speaker
to accept it and just kind of like I said, I'm still practicing at that. So you used to think to fit in or be good enough or smart enough that you needed to be a HUD. Yes. And to have the, like as Scott puts it, have the right answer for the question ahead of time. And that particular pressure was on me. And, and I, like I said, I still practice with it, but it's,
00:04:53
Speaker
It's definitely gotten to a point where
Practical Learning in Hypnosis
00:04:55
Speaker
it's easier to just accept that the trainer has his headlights a little further, or her headlights are further down the road than we do. And they've been there before us. And it's actually kind of a safety net because we have a tendency to, well, we need, we absolutely need that guidance. We absolutely need to know what they know, see here and feel ahead of time.
00:05:21
Speaker
So taking that in is a big deal. Yeah. Yeah. So a lot of us, because we've learned in a more traditional school type of way, we're expecting to learn in that way. And when you're learning with hypnosis, it's applied learning. So you're having an experience and you get the insight from having the experience.
00:05:42
Speaker
A lot of people want to wait till they understand everything before they're willing to actually do it, which wrecks the whole thing. But that sounds like the pattern you were in before you started. I was doing that too, I'll admit. So the whole approach we're taking here is that you learn from actions and you're not expected to know everything ahead of time or feel like you need to be born knowing everything.
00:06:07
Speaker
when we run into problems in our lives or challenges or we need feedback, that needs to become a really smooth, comfortable thing, like just another thing in everyday life. Yeah, like second nature. Like it's just the way it is and it's okay to have someone ahead of you.
00:06:24
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. And some of this also has to do with control, because a lot of people want the decision to be theirs, or they want to think it through, or make it their choice, or have that final say. And of course, people are only going to do what they agree to do. But often people will sabotage themselves that way, especially these days, because we're not really raised to simply follow our parents' instructions. It feels foreign.
00:06:54
Speaker
And then we know we have Google out there, which gives us way too much information and choice. And so this social structure that really genuinely helps people learn in real life has been eroding over time. And so I think that it's pretty common that it takes people
00:07:19
Speaker
They need to, on purpose, be willing to agree to do it, even if it doesn't come naturally for them. Yeah, absolutely. And it helps a lot that we can, as hypnotists and trainers, build trust. It helps a lot when we can show them the yes set, of course, as the hypnotist is accurate over time.
00:07:44
Speaker
with their feedback as we actually give the client feedback or the student feedback over time that the hypnotist turns out to be accurate over time is a real big help to building that trust and helping that client or student to be more open and more agreeable.
00:08:04
Speaker
Yeah, you know, many people who come to see us are coming because they're stuck. Maybe they want to lose weight or stop smoking or maybe their business is really struggling and they're looking for business coaching help.
00:08:15
Speaker
And so they're often really needing help and things are not going well when they first come to see us.
Trusting and Following Hypnotists
00:08:22
Speaker
And I think it's really interesting how if we wanted to do something like learn how to zipline, for example, I've been ziplining and at the beginning they teach you how to do it, right? You have to know how to hook on to the zip.
00:08:36
Speaker
and to take off and land and what to watch out for. And when we're learning something like that, it seems natural to watch somebody else and listen to what they say because it's a physical thing. And there's something about when we're doing something in our mind that we have a different relationship to God. But I think that if we use that analogy to learn hypnosis and people are willing to engage with it, that way that that's really helpful.
00:09:02
Speaker
Right. Right. And Scott was talking about that recently on a conference called maybe a couple of weeks ago where the safety of the situation or the risk involved in the situation may be part of that leverage too. And so we have to perceive how important it is for us, even if it is just mental, the thoughts rather than something like zip lining or physical action, like you said,
00:09:27
Speaker
we can actually still perceive the payoff or risk benefits, the listening.
00:09:34
Speaker
Right, so the clarity that we haven't been able to do it ourselves up till now, so we're asking for help and that as long as we trust the hypnotist, which is important, and we see evidence that the hypnotist has helped other people that were willing to go with that and agree that we do have something to learn and that it's going to improve things for sure because
00:09:59
Speaker
already we've shown ourselves we don't know how to do it. So I think that a lot of people don't really stand back and see that clarity when they're signing up for a program or they're coming for help. They're stuck in their usual pattern of needing to think it through or needing it to make it their decision or waiting to, or some people are truly rebellious against following somebody else's instructions.
00:10:26
Speaker
but they're following a pattern that they've been doing in general for a very long time.
00:10:32
Speaker
Yeah, so if you want to lose weight or stop smoking or manage stress or maybe have your business make more money or be more successful, when you see that somebody else has had a lot of success either doing it themselves or helping others do it, it's good to kind of be humble about that and realize, hey, maybe I should just do what they
Humility and Recognizing Expertise
00:10:54
Speaker
say. And I think it's really fascinating how hesitant many people are to actually be willing to do that. Right.
00:11:03
Speaker
And it's really magical when you see clients. Well, in my experience, you know, maybe you've seen it too, but the, the response of clients when they do come in and when they do read those stories of other folks who are succeeding and they do respond to that. I actually find that to be magical because it's not a skill I grew up learning. Like it's not a skill I was familiar with. So being open and being humble, like you said,
00:11:32
Speaker
is absolutely, I think, part of that. But the first clinic I ran was down in Asheville, North Carolina. And they were all, well, Southern Baptist folks. And it really was fascinating how well they responded to, it was fascinating to me how well they responded to watching other people succeed. It was just part of the culture. It was just part of the
00:12:01
Speaker
the way they were raised. And I think we're missing that in a lot of ways these days. And there's a place for it, right? You might not do this everywhere in your life. But when you're coming for a specific outcome and you know you're stuck, it'd be a good idea to simply follow the instructions of somebody who knows what to do.
00:12:20
Speaker
Yeah, it's definitely not a good idea to walk around these days with your heart on your sleeve all the time with everyone. Or if you're buying a used car, right? You wouldn't just go and do what the used car salesman tells you. So there are categories where you wouldn't want to do this. But I think that being willing to go in that direction is definitely something that is an important ingredient to people's success.
00:12:46
Speaker
Yeah. So when people come for a free screening, which we do with all of our clients and all of our hypnosis students before we accept them as clients or students, one of the things we're looking for is that they're willing to follow instructions and go with what we're giving them to learn. And so that knowing it ahead of time is good because you want to level with yourself and decide if you're willing to do that. Yeah.
00:13:16
Speaker
And it can be useful to recognize that that suggestion in hypnosis is even, it's a suggestion. That's what it is. It's not, it's not a definite, you know, you gotta do, but, um, unless there's danger ahead, which oftentimes there are, but we have to remember it's useful for clients to remember that a hypnosis suggestion is something that they can agree to, that it's an idea.
00:13:44
Speaker
It's a good idea and it's a useful idea that, that happens to be in line with reality. Not everybody knows how to quit smoking easily. Not everybody knows that it's possible to lose weight and have fun at it and have a blast at it. But, um, you know, if they have the idea that yes, these folks have done it ahead of me and, uh, the hypnotist has seen so many folks and some folks, some clients even say, well, you know,
00:14:13
Speaker
The hypnotist has done this so many times. I just trust them. I just trust that I need
Overcoming Habits through Adaptation
00:14:18
Speaker
the help. Like you said, Robbie. That's a useful approach for sure. You know, even if they just accept it long enough to try it, long enough to try it and notice that it works out. That's a real thing. Yeah. And they need to be willing to do it enough times that they see the results they get from it.
00:14:37
Speaker
Right, you're talking about rehearsal. Yeah, rehearsal, but also surrendering into it, because we'll fight it at the beginning. We want to do what we've always done. And so when we're doing something new, our subconscious and our nervous system might fight it just because people are creatures of habit. And so knowing that ahead of time helps, because then you know, OK, I need to repeat this at least three to seven times before knowing anything and to just be willing to agree to do that.
00:15:08
Speaker
Right. And you really said something very important is the idea of surrendering into the actions we need to take and surrendering even our position. And you're right. The autonomic nervous system doesn't want to let go of what we've done all the time already. Yeah, it does. It does take some practice. It takes some willingness.
00:15:29
Speaker
So sometimes we get clients who come in and they're an internal debate. For example, I once had a client who was coming for weight loss and she didn't want to go do her physical activity. And so one day when she was here, I made her go for a walk with me and we went and we took a walk around the block and that showed her, hey, it's possible. So she had somebody else, she was willing to follow instructions.
00:15:52
Speaker
And then when she went home, she went and she started to walk. And she admitted to me at her next session that what she had been worried about was she was thinking,
00:16:03
Speaker
What are all those people gonna think of this? And I'm using her words, this obese woman walking outside. And so she was worried she had this fear of scrutiny. And by doing it, it showed her that nobody even paid attention to her. And so it made it much easier for her to take action. So sometimes by doing things, we realize our fears aren't justified or we realize it's easier than we thought.
00:16:27
Speaker
Sometimes we need to be willing to rehearse it enough. Sometimes people don't like eating vegetables and they know maybe to lose weight or even just to be healthier. I've had people come for help simply to learn how to like vegetables because they know they're good for them, but they've never liked them in their whole life. That they need to be curious and experimental and try them enough times and enough different ones that they can discover what they like.
00:16:53
Speaker
And so being willing to have fun with that profile is important because otherwise, if they say, no, I hate vegetables, they taste terrible. They're so bitter or whatever, I hate the texture. Well, if they're imagining it that way, of course they're not going to like them. So it's being willing to agree to perceive something differently in our senses and to imagine it's possible and enjoyable or an adventure to discover something new.
00:17:21
Speaker
So part of the agreement is in auctions and some of it is in being willing to have the attitudes and beliefs that really support making that enjoyable. Right. And the idea of associating pleasure with the actions and pain with the inaction might help to end that debate as well. Can you give us an example of how somebody might do that?
00:17:50
Speaker
Sure. Actually, the thing that comes to mind is the conference call that we just had with Scott and you, where we were talking about the drama and the emotions that Scott is teaching in those moments. It occurs that the emotions, the drama and the emotions and the blowing up of
00:18:14
Speaker
Maybe the fun of it or the ridiculousness of it or or blowing it up to the ridiculous beyond threshold. That's what we call. Yeah. Yes. Yes. That tends to, I think, maybe outweigh the old outdated way. And we start to in our autonomic nervous system, we start to not just intellectually, but in our in our body, in our senses, seeing, hearing and feeling. We actually notice that the that the emotion of taking action feels better.
00:18:44
Speaker
and that the risk is in the inaction.
00:18:50
Speaker
So I'm not sure if that answers your question. So Fritz Perls talks about how to end frustrating internal debate, right? Top dog under dog thinking, there's a part of me that wants to stop smoking and there's another part of me that really wants to keep smoking. And so how we end that, and we have lots of ways within hypnosis to do this, but the gist of it is that we want to associate only pleasure with the outcome of becoming a non-smoker
00:19:18
Speaker
and only pain with the smoking. But when people are stuck, often they're mixed associations. So they might say, well, I really enjoy smoking, but I don't like that. It makes me cough. And so they've got pleasure and pain in the same activity. Right. So if we can emphasize the pain of the problem and emphasize the pleasure of taking action, the enjoyment of what they're going to get, the benefits of what they're going to get by taking action or or by quitting the smoking,
00:19:47
Speaker
And if they actually associate with that more and make it more real in their mind, as though it's happening right now, because it is happening right now, they're making that change.
Integrity in Hypnosis Suggestions
00:19:56
Speaker
Yeah. So sometimes people are worried that with hypnosis, it's like mind control and somebody's going to get in there and make them do things they don't want to do. It's a really common fear that people have. And the truth is that when you come to see a skilled hypnotist, you're there because you want to achieve a specific outcome, like losing weight, stopping smoking,
00:20:17
Speaker
Maybe you're looking to get rid of a fear or build your business more successfully. And so as you have that clear outcome with the hypnotist, both of you are looking in that direction. And that's what makes it a lot easier to trust the process because all the suggestions being given are helping you get there.
00:20:37
Speaker
And so that's how we keep everything nice and clean. And the truth is that if somebody gets a suggestion that they don't agree with or goes against their morals or values or whatever, right, something they really don't want to do, they'll just reject it.
00:20:54
Speaker
And so you can feel confident with that. We also audio and video record our sessions so that there is a record of what happened and that keeps everybody in a good place. And so there are things in place that help protect you from that sort of thing. And I think it's a valid question that people have. We can show them, hey, it is possible because nobody's going to accept a suggestion
00:21:22
Speaker
or a new belief or idea until they believe that it's even possible for them to. There has to be a light at the end of the tunnel. There has to be a light in the clearing for them to feel like it's worth taking in that new suggestion because they don't want to get their hopes up. Right. You know, if they come in thinking, gosh, this is just another thing that's going to let me down, or this is just another thing I'm trying that's not going to work out.
00:21:48
Speaker
Well, we can even confront that thought and say, hey, is this what you're feeling? Because I kind of sense that maybe you're not really sure because you've tried so many things and I really understand that. But this way, this time, or and this way needs to be totally different.
00:22:05
Speaker
This time needs to be totally different. So they're seeing the success of other people that builds their belief, but we're also helping them deal with the feeling of risk that they don't want to be disappointed or heartbroken once again.
00:22:19
Speaker
by trying something and not following through or it not working. And so the read that we give them, often people have never had somebody get them the way that they're seen at the screening.
00:22:36
Speaker
We're helping them see where they were in their way and often they don't know that they were just stuck and they weren't sure how to get out or they thought they knew and it turns out it's something else. So when somebody outside of you is giving you that kind of feedback and seeing the bigger picture of what's happening and the things that need to change, that creates a lot of
Building Trust through Hypnosis Screenings
00:22:57
Speaker
trust. And that's one of the things that we do in the free screening to help people.
00:23:03
Speaker
And sometimes just that revelation, sometimes just being told, hey, or asked, hey, is such and such happening? And doing it with a mood of curiosity, where we're genuinely asking in a sincere and loving way, hey, is this what's in your way? And they go, wow, yeah, that's exactly it. And they will say things that help you to know
00:23:32
Speaker
As a hypnotist, the client will say things that help you to know that they are really getting something of value in that screening, such as they might say, I've never had this kind of conversation with somebody before. And if a client is feeling that way in reality, that's a really good sign for the client. So if a client is hearing this, go with that. That's a great feeling. It's a warm,
00:24:02
Speaker
Kind of a relief. Yeah, finally somebody gets it and they know what you need to do to change. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, and one thing that I find really helpful is to give clients a sense of humor that we're really all a bunch of kids having temper tantrums all the time. I had a client once who was really in her head and in a lot of debate and she was very resistant to being told what to do because she'd had some bad experiences in her real life
00:24:31
Speaker
with that. So she was really standing back and needing a lot of safety in her decisions. And she had a son who was maybe eight years old. And so she came in one day and she said, all right, I'm finally getting this being willing to simply agree thing because I just went from my walk and I did it and I felt good. And then I was getting my son to do something and I was trying to get him to see, hey, it would be so much easier if you just go agree and do it.
00:24:57
Speaker
And so it really helped her as a mom and helping her son and she knew she was simply trying to help him in a useful way that it was interesting for her to see from an outside point of view how much people can sabotage themselves that way or how much easier life really can be if you're willing to simply
00:25:17
Speaker
you know follow instructions for their categories where this is really useful and helpful and in our society it's really looked at as smart to debate things and in school we learn how to weigh the options or think things through or be rational.
00:25:33
Speaker
And there's definitely subjects where that does belong, right? If you're doing like pure science or something like that. And so there's a willingness to acknowledge that when we're living our lives, everything starts with emotion. It's not rational. And so we make all our decisions that way and to have a sense of humor about that and move with our natural tendency instead of fighting.
Emotional Decisions and Hypnosis
00:25:59
Speaker
So it was really fun to see this client discover it for herself and then see it outside of her. And it just made it even easier for her to keep going with that and believe that that was a good thing. Right. And that even that agreement space even exists that we don't have to debate everything that there is such a thing as letting it be, you know, letting it and and letting it be
00:26:28
Speaker
in line with reality, it's okay to have success while being realistic because they're not different. They're the same thing, having success. In the example that you just used, just going out for the walk, just accepting it and going out for the walk is real. That's a realistic thing to do. It's not a big deal, it's a little deal. It's something that we can
00:26:56
Speaker
just know that there's such a space as agreement. If you do want to get into that state of agreement, just kind of do it. And if we look at humanity as a big team of people that we're all trying to cooperate with, and whether it's the male person or the grocery clerk or whoever we're, wherever we happen to be or a colleague, wherever we happen to be,
00:27:26
Speaker
if we can pick and actually like you said at the beginning of this show pick the on purpose to practice what that agreement feels like then we can actually learn to sort by agreement and and find the agreement somewhere especially if we want rapport with that person and it's just a great idea to just continue to
00:27:53
Speaker
to practice it and find things that we agree with because they're all around us. It's just for some folks, it may be a new mood, it may be a new space. You know, and I think a really great mood for this that may help people relate to it is the mood of romance, because when you're you're falling in love or you're in romance, there is a tendency to want to agree. Right. So what if you could fall in love with your goal?
00:28:20
Speaker
and just be willing to agree to do what it takes to get your goals and just be in that mood. That would be really useful. Yeah, that's very motivating.
00:28:30
Speaker
Yeah. And then the other thing you just brought up was about risk. So a lot of times people are wanting to debate or disagree because they're worried that they might lose something or it's risky. And so we need to help people see that it is safe to take the actions. Like the woman who was worried about going out for a walk, she was self-conscious. She was worried that it was unsafe for her to take the actions, right?
00:28:56
Speaker
she had to discover that it was totally okay.
Learning through Action
00:28:59
Speaker
So sometimes we need to help people to clean that up. But to help people have the realization that it's actually safer to take the actions than it is to hold on to their problem. And that they don't need to have all the answers. They can simply take a reasonable risk of taking action. And with each action, they learn something and they can change it and tweak it along the way.
00:29:23
Speaker
or learn something new or get more information. But if they stay still, nothing's going to happen. And I think that that's an important point to make for people. Right. And it's really okay. It's okay if they have a bad day, but they just get on track once again. And that's okay too. Give yourself permission to
00:29:45
Speaker
to goof it up every once in a while and that's okay. I'm remembering a story of when I was a little kid I at camp once we went we were taken to this pool that had a really high diving board like one of those cement really high ones and so I had never gone off a high diving board before I was probably eight years old
00:30:05
Speaker
So I figured, okay, I'm going to go off the high diving board and I climb up the big flight of stairs and get to the top and the edge of the diving board. And I looked over and then I started debating and saying, I don't know if I really want to jump down. Meanwhile, there's a whole lineup of people waiting to use the high diving board. And so I sat there for a few minutes and people were like, come on, jump already.
00:30:26
Speaker
So then I decided no I'm not going to jump and I went and climbed back down the cement stairs and on the last few stairs I fell and I blocked out. I was in the the first aid room like I didn't even remember what happened and I like scraped my nose. I had this huge gouge on my nose that whole summer.
00:30:45
Speaker
And so I wasn't really looking at the like, if I jump, I'm just going to land in water and I'll be okay. And there was more risk in going backwards down those cement stairs, which turned into a problem for me. So I wasn't really looking at the scene in a way that was useful. I was getting caught up in my immediate feelings of being at the top of that high diving board. That's a very good point, Robbie. The idea that
00:31:13
Speaker
that we can pop out of the feeling that we think we happen to be in and go into that visual, which not everybody is comfortable with right away, but going to a visual and actually see visually what you need to do or want to do might actually put us in a different
00:31:34
Speaker
feeling and give us a different kinesthetic. Yeah, so perspective is really important because we have our immediate reactions, right, or the way we've been doing it for a long time. And which is one of the things that's important about getting outside feedback and going to see a hypnotist is that their job is to help you clean things up and actually have a healthy perspective and a useful one for you to get your goals.
00:32:00
Speaker
Right and that it's actually totally realistic it's it's more real than anything else what we do in our industry is more real is actually on hypnotizing a person from the outdated way that they used to do it.
00:32:14
Speaker
and giving them, well, showing them a new reality that actually happens to be reality. They're making it their reality, I think is the point, right? We're teaching people how to build something new. And if they're just referring to their past or what is right now, it's very hard to build something new. And if they stay stuck in the old patterns or beliefs or behaviors they used to have, they're going to keep getting the old stuff.
00:32:39
Speaker
So the whole point of coming for help is to break out of those and sometimes to do that, you needed to be willing to listen to outside feedback or take action in a way that maybe is a little uncomfortable at the beginning, like jumping off my diving board.
Self-Worth Beyond Mistakes
00:32:55
Speaker
Right.
00:32:56
Speaker
Right? And there's absolutely no shame in it. It's absolutely a discovery. It's okay to be in discovery instead of shame and just kind of go, Oh wow, I just didn't know such and such. And, and that's something we, as you know, we call the separating of the doer and the deed. So there's them, the doer, but that's different from the deed. The deed is the old pattern that we want to break down or tear down. And the new pattern that we want to install,
00:33:26
Speaker
is just a new deed, but they themselves are still loved and they themselves can be okay as a person and cared about and they're safe as a person, as the doer. How much does shame really help? How much is shame actually helping you to get your goal? It's just not a useful strategy.
00:33:50
Speaker
Yeah, so shame is there with children because they're born wild animals, and we're trying to install a conscience in children. But once they have that conscience, it doesn't serve a purpose. All that matters is that they learn from what happens. And so as adults, we want to be open to that learning. So if people have a shame cycle, then that's something we can help with, with hypnosis. But the direction we're going here is that
00:34:17
Speaker
We want people to feel safe in having experiences and learning from those experiences and that it doesn't mean anything about them as a person. It's simply something they did and the future they can do.
00:34:31
Speaker
whatever they choose to do next, so that there's some looseness and flexibility. But a lot of people, when they're in a shame cycle, they hold on to the old behavior even tighter because it creates a compulsion, right? With shame, people, you know, might do something and then they get, it's painful to feel shame. And if you feel bad, it's more likely that you're gonna shoot yourself in the foot again somehow.
00:34:59
Speaker
Right, so a lot of what you're saying has to do with acceptance, self-acceptance. And just accepting oneself as a human being, as a person that, let's face it, we all make mistakes, we all have to learn. And knowing that we're loved, knowing that we're accepted is a big deal. And that really helps a person to not feel like they're at stake.
00:35:26
Speaker
in the new things that they're trying to do, because we're going to make mistakes as we try new stuff. But if we can eliminate the shame, if we can eliminate the shame cycle part of it, and just go, oh, that's not necessary. I can do this with discovery or adventure instead. And oh, by the way, I'm still loved. No matter what mistakes I make along the way, even if they seem big, I am still loved.
00:35:55
Speaker
And a lot of people don't know that that's really something that a lot of people need to learn as part of their experience with hypnosis. And I think that the screening gives them just, just a wonderful opportunity to experience that. Yeah.
Resources and Guidance for Hypnosis
00:36:15
Speaker
Yeah. Great. All right. So Chris, tell people where they can find out more about you and how you can help them.
00:36:24
Speaker
Sure. The website is KeystoneHypnosisCenter.com. Three words. KeystoneHypnosisCenter.com. All right, great. And for people who want to learn more about how hypnosis training can help you, you can also go to HypnosisTrainingCanada.com. We've got lots of
00:36:40
Speaker
free resources there and things that you can learn from. And when you're ready to really make a change and get some feedback on that, we offer a free consultation to see if this is a good fit for you. So you can find out all about that on the website, hypnosistrainingcanada.com. You can also call 800-971-5774 to find out more and set up a time to meet.
00:37:06
Speaker
Hypnosis can be an excellent way to let go of difficult or traumatic experiences and be free to move forward with your life. On next week's podcast, you will learn how hypnosis can help you and what to consider when choosing to get help with trauma or moving on from difficult experiences.
00:37:23
Speaker
To find out more about how hypnosis training can help you, go to HypnosisTrainingCanada.com for more info and to schedule your free consultation. Remember to click the button to subscribe, share the podcast with a friend, and please leave us a review so you can help others benefit from the podcast too.
00:37:41
Speaker
Until next week. You've been listening to The Hypnosis Show with Robbie Spear Miller. Tune in next time to learn more about how you can change your life with hypnosis. And if you are interested in learning more about training opportunities, go to hypnosistrainingcanada.com and schedule a free consultation.