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Ep. 28: Hypnosis for Stress Management
156 Plays3 years ago
Being stressed out has become a way of life for many. Often people attribute the stress to life circumstances and/or the way they are wired. Efforts to reduce stress levels can seem temporary and fleeting. The truth is, it doesn’t have to be this way.
On this week’s podcast, you will learn:
- How you may be creating unnecessary stress in your life that you may not even be aware of.
- What you can start doing right now to feel calmer and more confident.
- Tips for managing your thoughts and feelings to prevent unnecessary stress.
Rita Leiphart is a hypnotist with the Master Hypnotist Society and owner of District hypnosis in Washington DC.
You can learn more about Rita Leiphart at https://www.districthypnosis.com
To find out more about how hypnosis training can help you get your goals, go to https://www.hypnosistrainingcanada.com
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Transcript
Understanding Conspiracy Theories and Self-Improvement
00:00:00
Speaker
and where we don't have information, we'll make it up. Our brains are the ultimate conspiracy theory machines. They do a great job of making up a bunch of BS. Now that is probably the most important part of the work that I have learned from Scott is to clear myself of erroneous thinking.
00:00:21
Speaker
You want to transform yourself and improve your life. You long to help people. You wish to become healthier, happier, and more successful.
Exploring Hypnosis Benefits with Rita Lapart
00:00:31
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This show is your opportunity to learn how to use hypnosis to make your life better. Each week, hypnotist Robbie Spear Miller interviews people who have already changed their lives in amazing ways with hypnosis.
00:00:44
Speaker
These models can help you discover your path to making the most of your life. If you want to learn how hypnosis can help you reach your goals, this show is for you.
00:00:58
Speaker
Hello, everybody. I'm Robbie Speer-Miller, the host of the Hypnosis Show podcast. And today we're welcoming one of my longtime colleagues and wonderful hypnotist, Rita Lapart. She is the owner of District Hypnosis in Washington, D.C. And she's here today to tell us about how we can manage stress better in our lives. So welcome, Rita.
00:01:22
Speaker
Thank you, it's an honor to be here. So Rita, why don't you start by telling us about what your interest has been in stress management and what personal experiences you've had to help yourself make that better in your life. Absolutely. Confession here, I used to be an extremely stressed individual.
00:01:44
Speaker
extremely stressed. My mindset was totally different than it is now and when I tell people that they're usually pretty shocked because I come across quite chill most of the time. But yeah, I have learned a few skills that have completely changed my life. Hypnosis probably being one of the key.
00:02:04
Speaker
My interest in hypnosis went way back to the 70s when I first started using hypnosis and that I took an interest in it, reading about it and learning about it more.
00:02:18
Speaker
kind of a journey, searching for ways to make life better, my life better, my perspectives better, using the mind in a more resourceful way, and probably going on a few tangents of trying to figure out how the universe works, which I will let you know when I get there. So I spent a bit of time doing metaphysical work. And in that work, I took a love to sound therapy.
00:02:45
Speaker
Sound meant a great deal to me. I was a music major in college, so you can well imagine how I gravitated to that. So I started working with tuning forks in certain frequencies.
00:02:58
Speaker
seeing how these affected the body and mind. We are already using it quite a bit and always have used it quite a bit in healing arts. Ever since the first person hit their thumb with a hammer and yelled out, ow, that was healing ourselves through sound.
The Science of Sound and Healing
00:03:20
Speaker
And among the things that I discovered jumping over to where we are now is that the frequency of 128
00:03:29
Speaker
is a very, very relaxing frequency. It ignites a bit of nitric oxide to release in our bodies. Now, nitric oxide, just as we have a stress response, we also have a relaxation response.
00:03:48
Speaker
Basically, it goes through our body. It's a natural gas that our bodies make that calm us down. It moves right into the cells, puffing up like a lung and then collapsing. It actually relaxes you.
00:04:04
Speaker
I became more fascinated with sound, and as I did, I would be working on people doing Reiki and other types of energy healing. But I started using my voice more and more. Voice is probably the most healing instrument of all because it comes right from our own resonance. And so, as I did, I started using hypnosis.
00:04:27
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And as I did, I realized that I probably wanted to learn a lot more about it and become certified in it. And the rest is history. I decided this was the way I wanted to go.
00:04:38
Speaker
So, and that's how you and I met, as we both have the same amazing mentors, Scott McFall, where that's really where things started taking off for me, where I was able to reconstruct a lot of the way that I saw things, a lot of the ways that I brought new awarenesses that give me resource and capability to change my perspectives.
00:05:05
Speaker
to change how I took attitudes on and switched to others that were better for me. So there's where the work of hypnosis really does the most work, most change for us is how it works with us in our mind. And so everyone here listening probably already knows is that hypnosis is how we reach
The Subconscious and Stress Responses
00:05:28
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the subconscious mind. We have automatic reactions, reactions to things.
00:05:34
Speaker
And these reactions are sometimes useful. That's how the subconscious mind takes over a lot of things that you've learned. Driving a car, even walking, everything you do, 95% of it is really in your subconscious mind and it's automatic. Very little of this is working consciously, but every now and then, we learn something that we probably don't need to keep repeating. Now, this brings us to stress. When we become stressed,
00:06:05
Speaker
It is a state that is actually quite primitive. It's the fight or flight. And the fight or flight was what we needed to protect ourselves when we were primitive. We were primitive for millions of years, and we've only been civilized for something close to 10,000 years. So in our primitive state, we were prey. Everything was life or death, everything.
00:06:31
Speaker
And so we needed to have a way to protect ourselves. And so it was kind of like putting nitrous oxide, now that's quite different from nitric oxide, into a dragster. You give this extra push to the system where in the stress state or these fight or flight state, what happens is that when we have a danger, we need to either run or
00:07:01
Speaker
or fight. The first initial for many is to freeze, like a rabbit will suddenly freeze and try to become invisible. But if that doesn't work, then we go to the next and we go to the next. And different people will have one or the other being their immediate response. So in that state,
00:07:24
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When things were life or death What happened is that everything that had anything to do with danger would suddenly become narrowed into our focus That would be all we can see The heart rate would come up more bringing more blood to the muscles in case of a fight to the death more oxygen coming to the brain The energy in our system would move out of the visceral section and into the extremities because that's where we needed to have the work our digestive system would to shut down
00:07:52
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And we would be ready now to take care of ourselves. But where we are right now, everything's not life or death. But our neurology has not caught up to our current situation. The boss calls you into the office. Oh my gosh.
00:08:13
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He's probably upset about that report that I wrote. I knew I shouldn't put that last sentence in. Oh my gosh, he's going to fire me. He's going to fire me. I know it now. I know that he was going to fire me last month and three months before, but no, no, he's really going to do it this time. He's really going to do it. Meanwhile, I'm in there building myself up because if I get fired, I won't have any money. I'll be homeless and then I'll die. Well, he wants to know if you can work on Saturday.
00:08:40
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And this is the way we react. We start to get all upset because we start making up these stories in our head to try to explain a small piece of information. This is the way our mind works. It wants to have a linear understanding. It thinks through the storyline. And where we don't have information, we'll make it up. Our brains are the ultimate conspiracy theory machines. They do a great job of making up a bunch of BS.
00:09:10
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Now that is probably the most important part of the work that I have learned from Scott is to clear myself of erroneous thinking. Yeah, well I would agree with that and Rita what I find really interesting about this whole theme is that the power of hypnosis and
00:09:30
Speaker
Just going into hypnosis does relax us, but the real power comes from us changing our patterns, as you were explaining, our old routines, so that we actually have a new framework within which to operate. So I remember when I first met Scott, which is like 15 years ago now,
00:09:48
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One of the things he said to me is, Robbie, you're a really stressed out person. And at the time I said to him, are you kidding me? You should have known me five years ago. This is nothing because I had improved, right? It had gotten better. And he said to me.
00:10:03
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So and and so I hadn't really like to me because it was better than it used to be. I didn't realize how stressed that I really was because our bodies adopt and whatever we're used to seems like it's
Chronic Stress and Self-Worth Issues
00:10:16
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normal. Right. That's like our baseline.
00:10:19
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And so there was this huge discovery of, hey, things don't have to be as big a deal as I was making them, or I didn't have to have as much tension as I did. And it really came from getting a lot of feedback from a mentor to see things differently.
00:10:37
Speaker
So one of the things that we talk about a lot is sometimes if you're in the bottle, you can't read the label. So when we have clients come to meet with us and at their first meeting when we do a free screening is the time where we're giving them this feedback, everything that they can actually see about themselves, we're helping them realize how they might be sabotaging themselves or where things might be getting in the way. So I'm sure you had a similar experience.
00:11:07
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Absolutely. Absolutely. It's eye opening, heart opening, and mind opening. It all kind of works together.
00:11:15
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It's interesting that you would bring up that chronic stress that we get, that we don't even know we're in. It's kind of like the frog in the boiled pot if you've ever heard of that analogy of a frog sitting in a pot that's lukewarm water. He's fine, but if you boil it up, he also doesn't jump out because he doesn't feel the difference. What happens is that chronic stress is probably the most dangerous of all kinds, the most dangerous.
00:11:45
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when as it builds, we're often unaware of that level. If I have two glasses here, one is half filled of water and one's full of water. If I try to pour it into the one that's half full, it'll overflow. If it is empty, then it goes in and holds just fine. So this chronic stress creates a real hair triggered kind of reactions. So you can tell somebody's under chronic stress if they are
00:12:13
Speaker
getting more hair triggered than they were in the past means that their stress capacity is not as high. So let's look at some examples. I think it would be helpful for our listeners to hear maybe some stories about how you've helped clients or how I've helped clients get out of this and have a new perspective so that we can help the listeners learn how to do that as well. Absolutely.
00:12:43
Speaker
One of my favorites that I learned from Scott is among the things that we actually need to do is to get out of the idea of trying to prove ourselves all the time. Get out of the idea that I have to be right or even wrong, that I can just be open and curious.
00:13:08
Speaker
With almost every client, that's one of the first things that I will do with them, is bring them into this awareness of their core being without all the accoutrements of who we think we're supposed to be. So we're proving that we're worthy or good enough or that people won't abandon us.
00:13:30
Speaker
Yes, that we're part or that we're part of the group or that we are different from everybody else in a special kind of way. Probably most pushing of all is that we are a good person. Finishing the sentence, in order to be a good person, I must blank. One of the things that many people have an issue with is how am I going to be seen by others?
00:13:55
Speaker
So what kind of rules do we have to be a good mom or a good spouse or a good worker or a good friend? And so people will sacrifice themselves and push really hard in those areas because it feels like survival.
00:14:14
Speaker
Yes, yes, it's an important part of survival to be accepted. It's part of how we actually do survive is to be part of a tribe, part of a group. And to be shunned from the group is dangerous. And so that again is a primitive instinct of ours. A lot of our reactions really do go back many, many, many generations that we've just been wired to be this way.
00:14:42
Speaker
And how I like to look at this is that we're actually with hypnosis and interrupting these patterns. We're taking it the other direction because what you're referring now is epigenetics, where they've shown that if your ancestors went through extreme stress, your genes actually change. And so even though you didn't experience the stress, you inherit the stress response that they developed.
00:15:04
Speaker
And so the cool thing is that here we're undoing it. Like my sister said, you know, of course I'm a really stressed out person. I'm Jewish and my ancestors were persecuted for generations. So, right? And, you know, I had to say to her, well, I'm Jewish too. And I've learned how to do it better. So, you know, it's really kind of taking it the other direction that we can change ourselves and our genes and our children's
00:15:34
Speaker
outcomes because we're learning how to interrupt these patterns and to me that is the coolest thing about what we do. So to bring it all together when you talk about the response our body has to sound for example.
00:15:49
Speaker
right, and that frequency you were mentioning, or there are other stimulus in our world that definitely impact how we feel, that those passive experiences can have an impact, but it's harder to keep them. Like I, one of my first
00:16:05
Speaker
trainers and hypnosis and NLP. He did a lot of energy healing and he had this business called PetHealer.com and people would send him a picture in the name of their pet and he would heal them remotely. And one of the things he noticed was that pets were a lot easier to heal than humans because when you healed a human, you could move the energy to a better place, but they would just put it back because they would go and redo the same pattern again.
00:16:33
Speaker
Whereas pets, they're just living in the moment and doing their thing. And to me, that's really what I think is so amazing about what we do is that we're giving people the opportunity to learn how to do that differently, to how to change that. So these patterns that you're mentioning and the stories you're telling, what happens is that often people have some kind of experience that they have a coping response to.
00:17:03
Speaker
An example I can think of is I had a weight loss client here years ago. And what happened with her was that her son had died of cancer when he was really little, like three or four years old. This was decades before I met her. And when that happened, she didn't take care of herself. And she felt to be a good person. I must feel sad and more in my son.
00:17:28
Speaker
And so she kept doing that for years and years and it turned into decades and she gained a lot of weight and had neglected her body and her life really in all kinds of ways. And that feedback of realizing, hey, you don't need to stay stuck there. What would your son want for you?
00:17:50
Speaker
And if you keep doing this, what's it going to do to you? And her realizing that she was using that grieving, I mean, nobody would challenge somebody who's grieving their little boy. That's probably like the most awful, stressful thing anybody goes through. And so nobody in her family or friends would challenge her on that.
00:18:11
Speaker
So I had to give her that feedback to say, hey, that was a long time ago. Do you see how you've been using that event as a blank check for all kinds of bad behavior? And just that one piece of feedback made a huge change for her. It paved the way for her to make the weight loss possible. And she went on to lose over 100 pounds.
00:18:36
Speaker
um which is yeah and keep it off so so that i think that's a really good example of how sometimes we start doing something and sometimes it's during a really intense experience in her case it was an adult experience
00:18:51
Speaker
Often it's when we're little kids and we're trying to, and I bet you when she was a little kid, she also was trying to prove she was a good person. And her son's death just made that even more intense and extreme. But as children, we cope with life and how our parents are, how the world is around us. And the way we choose to cope, we tend to do over and over and over again.
00:19:14
Speaker
And without realizing, hey, maybe this isn't working for me, or maybe the circumstances that I needed this coping stance in are over. And so we need often to have some outside feedback and help learning a new way to do things. Absolutely. And this brings up an interesting point about weight gain and stress.
00:19:39
Speaker
As you probably have noticed, when people are under stress, they tend to gain weight right in the stomach area, right in the visceral section. And because when you're under this chronic stress, stress that lasts long and long, acute stress, which is like you see the bus coming for you and you better run, is perfectly healthy. We need to be able to do that, but then it goes away. But the chronic stress that creeps up and just stays with you and stays with you has some effects because
00:20:10
Speaker
It's a signal to your body that you are at war. And so certain things happen. You start gaining weight right in the section because that's where all your vital organs are. You can't sleep for very long because you have to keep getting up and run. We are still reacting very primitively because of the way our body is sending chemistry. And the weight gain is very, very common
00:20:41
Speaker
And many people who are very overweight are also very stressed. Uh, I'm sure you've noticed that almost every one of your weight loss clients, you also have to work with stress. For sure. Yeah. And they're just trying to, because they feel under assault with stress and often much of it is internally created, they're really trying to kick in themselves. And so it feels better to sue themselves with overeating and sitting on the couch.
00:21:06
Speaker
and getting that immediate gratification because they're feeling that they're in emergency mode, even though it's not really true.
The Power of Forgiveness and Perception
00:21:15
Speaker
Absolutely. And among the things that is the stories that we are milling in our head and how we're telling them to ourselves makes all the difference in how we will be able to come out of these things. For example, in grief, many people will be thinking about the end.
00:21:34
Speaker
how horrible it is. It's almost like they want to go back and figure out a way to redo it. And they keep going on about the end. But that only elongates the grief. It makes it last longer and longer. The healthiest way to process grief is to remember the person in the good times. Remember who they are in the good times and the good times that you had with them. I like to think of it this way.
00:22:01
Speaker
You don't have to adopt this opinion as your own. But I consider emotions to be a language that can penetrate dimension. And so you are a multidimensional being. You have a physical dimension, a mental dimension, a spiritual dimension, past, present, future, past, lives, future, lives, as many dimensions as you can imagine. There's dimensions of you. And so you can communicate within yourself through these dimensions, through emotion.
00:22:28
Speaker
Now emotion is in your subconscious mind. You're unaware of it until it translates out into your body, into these things we call feelings. And that lets us know we're having an emotion. And so when we start making friends with these emotions, because they are, there's no bad emotions, not stress or any, they're just feelings. Our rightful state is happiness. And when we're in a state of happiness, we're whole. Anything unlike happiness tells us that we need to check something out.
00:22:57
Speaker
An example of how it penetrates dimension. Look at the dimension of time. Look how people can get upset about something that happened 10 years, 20 years back in childhood and find themselves all revved up about it again. This is called a resentment. And so this is a signal that you have to release a resentment. Now look at the word resentment itself. Re means to do again. Sentiment. So it comes from the Latin term resentia. Re.
00:23:26
Speaker
sent sentia sentia to do again to live rather that means to live again to live again because what I'm focusing on the past I Am telling my subconscious mind. Give me more of that because that's the language of the subconscious mind vision and emotion Tells the subconscious mind right there focus on this. This is what I want experience And so a resentment is very very harsh
00:23:56
Speaker
because we get caught in those patterns because of our resentment. Right. We tell ourselves the story and we believe the story and then the emotions follow and then that feeds the story. And so it's like we're creating a reality that doesn't exist. So if vision and emotion communicate to the subconscious mind, then taking that emotional away from our story and throwing it off. So we neutralize that. Now that breaks the pattern.
00:24:27
Speaker
The pattern of getting out of resentment is the forgiveness process. Forgiveness means forgiving up your judgments. These are judgments that have us getting into these resented feelings. This is anger that we're holding on to. And as Scott has pointed out to us often, anger is an emotion. It's a secondary emotion that we use to cover up that we don't want to feel.
00:24:58
Speaker
It means that we think something's unfair, either to ourselves or to someone else. So I can jump into anger and I get to be right a dagnabbit. Come on, admit it. Don't we love our self-righteousness? We feel good when we're angry. We love it. Sure feels a lot better than being hurt or jealous. Get anyone to admit they're jealous. Nobody admits to that. They don't.
00:25:20
Speaker
They'll say, I'm not jealous, it's just not fair. You go right into anger. And so when we're holding onto a resentment, we're holding onto a judgment. And those judgments are what keep us stuck. That's what brings us the same again and again, going around in circles, repeating the same pattern. It's like we want to relive it so we can do it again, so we can do it right, but we don't, we do it the same way because we don't really shift our perspective until we do.
00:25:51
Speaker
And that has to be a deliberate step out of that pattern. First, we have to be aware of our pattern, and then we have to be willing to step out into the unknown, taking a risk and doing it a different way.
00:26:04
Speaker
Yeah. So, Rita, you know what, I would love to switch gears here because I think that one thing you said at the beginning that I think is really important to point out to people is that when we get into fight-or-flight response in one's stress, our ability to see perspective shrinks because we're focusing on survival, right? So we're going to fixate on it very narrowly on life.
00:26:30
Speaker
Now, if we look at how we live our lives and the choices we make, this can have a huge impact because
00:26:38
Speaker
There's this story, this really old story about the blind men and the elephant where these blind men come across an elephant and one of them feels the trunk of the elephant and they think it's a snake and another one of them feels the leg of the elephant and they think it's a tree trunk and another one feels the tail and they think it's a rope and none of them are right but none of them can actually feel the whole elephant.
00:27:03
Speaker
And often when we're in stress and our focus is narrowed, we are in an even worse position. Nobody ever sees the whole elephant. That's the way it is. But we're in an even worse position to take in reality as it is. So one example is recently I spoke to somebody who's trying to build their business and they've been struggling with building it up and getting clients. And their solution was to hire specialists
00:27:30
Speaker
in certain areas to help them. And I had to say to her, you know, this is really about you not feeling confident in you. You feel like because the business isn't doing well, that you're not doing well or you're not okay, which is put her in this stress mode. And so she's trying to grab on to solutions, but each of these people she's hiring,
00:27:53
Speaker
They don't see perspective. Maybe she's hiring a social media person, so they're going to do what they're an expert in, but they're not looking at her whole business and saying, here's the most high leverage thing you can do to build this, right? Or maybe she's hiring somebody who does content writing for her, and it's the same thing, or somebody who negotiates advertising.
00:28:16
Speaker
or does her branding. And when you're a small business, kind of silly to do branding, you got to focus on client results. But each of these people- They're broke with all of that and hiring too many people at once. Well, there's that too, but each of these people, they're seeing a piece of the elephant and they're an expert in that piece. And so they make you a wonderful job at what they promised her, but it doesn't mean it's good for the overall business.
00:28:42
Speaker
And so this ability, and it's whether you have your own business or you're just running your personal life or getting something done, to be able to stand back and have perspective and calm down enough that you can do that makes a huge difference in terms of the direction you go and the choices you make. And it really enriches your world that way. And so from a results point of view, getting the stress levels down
00:29:12
Speaker
is a big deal. Yes, it is. Now, the thing about getting the stress levels down, how do we do it? So there are some quick ways that you can get your stress levels down when you find yourself revving up and you're starting to get wired on something. And one of my favorites is this.
00:29:38
Speaker
When you find yourself in that state of overwhelm or like everything's going to hell in hand basket and you're just feeling like everything is just wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong in my life and you're stressed out. First thing that you want to do is take a deep, long breath all the way in. Bring it in through your nose and then blow it slowly out through your mouth. And then turn everything off inside of your head for a minute.
00:30:07
Speaker
until you can hear a pin drop in your own head. Then, look around. Without saying anything or commenting on the inside of your head, just look and see what you see. Notice what you hear. Notice if there's a temperature against your skin or the clothes, how they feel against your skin. What do you feel?
00:30:37
Speaker
Is there a scent in the room? A taste in your mouth? Go through all of your senses and then ask yourself this one simple question. Is anything bad happening right now? 99.999% of the time, nothing bad is happening. That's what's known as getting present, getting real with ourselves. Because when we are present, we are in control. In stress,
00:31:05
Speaker
we feel that we're not in control. That's the problem. We think that we have no control, because usually we're trying to take on things that we can't control. As Scott often says, many people are doing the serenity prayer backwards. The things we can control, we say, well, that's just the way I am. And the things that we can't control, well, that person over there, things that are not within our control, but we need to come back to where we are in control. You mentioned pets being healed faster than humans.
00:31:34
Speaker
There's a lot we can learn from dogs. Have you ever noticed how a dog operates? Every bite of food is just a delicious gourmet meal. Every game of catch is the Super Bowl. Every walk is the greatest walk ever. There isn't a single moment that isn't fantastic because they're constantly present. And they live these joyful lives most of the time because they're constantly present.
00:32:03
Speaker
And when we're present, life is good. It's only when I get up here that it starts to go south. Up here, there's a reason why they called the original sin to be knowledge. It's not knowledge that is the sin, it's the corruption of it. It's when we start filling in
00:32:32
Speaker
getting our own story about it. That's what made it difficult. That's where it all went south. Though we start living here, and this thing can be a horror show, but when we were living in reality, things are pretty darn good.
Effective Stress Management Techniques
00:32:48
Speaker
So that's one of my favorites to do. Yeah, I love that. And that helps us get into a place where we can plan for our future. Because as humans, we do have outcomes in our lives. So we don't want to live in the moment all the time. Well, you want to be present while planning. You can do both at the same time. You know you're planning. It's where you can be in a gallery. But you don't even want that in setting your outcomes.
00:33:17
Speaker
The what ifs, what ifs, what ifs. All that you don't need. Intingencies that don't exist. We don't need that. So even when we're planning, we can be present. And then we can envision it, but we know what we're doing. We're aware of what we're doing. And so it's all of that clutter is where we go south.
00:33:43
Speaker
So one of the things to realize is that being able to calm ourselves down and the technique you just taught us is a great one for that. There are many ways to do that. That combined with getting outside feedback and changing our patterns is a powerful thing. So if we can settle ourselves down and see perspective and really be willing to take in the feedback from outside of us,
00:34:10
Speaker
because everything we need to learn is out here in the real world. So when a dog is catching a stick or a ball, they're in reality and they're just chasing that ball or that stick. But if they were in their head, it would be kind of hard to do that. So as we are able to settle down and do that, then having the outside feedback and interrupting patterns to complement that is a really powerful thing. And I think that that's really where
00:34:39
Speaker
you know, when sometimes we have clients who come in and they say, oh, I downloaded a hypnosis audio from the internet. And usually they're coming to see us because they, they didn't benefit from it enough to change their situation. So it might've helped them relax. It gave them hope that hypnosis can help them. The real power is in getting that outside feedback and learning how to do it different. And sometimes even if we see what we're doing,
00:35:04
Speaker
If we don't have a new option or a new way to frame things, then it's hard to change it. And we get even more frustrated with ourselves because we know we're doing it and we keep doing it anyway. And so I think that that's an important thing to point out for people because
00:35:22
Speaker
even you know I've been mentored for over 15 years and I know you've been doing this for a long time too and you're also you have a mentor and having somebody in your life who can give you that perspective is a really valuable thing and you're never done there's never a time in your life where that wouldn't be helpful or useful for you
00:35:45
Speaker
So I think that that's an important piece of this for people to know. And especially if you are stressed, you need it even more. Sometimes when people are stressed, it's like a runaway train and they think, no, this is an emergency. I have to fix this. And until I fix it, I can't do anything.
00:36:03
Speaker
When really they need to stand back and settle down and I remember I used to work in computers and when I had my first job I was kind of insecure because I wasn't really fully trained to do the job I kind of snuck in at a time when it was during the internet boom like when the internet first started and people were building tons of websites and
00:36:23
Speaker
And so I managed to sneak in and get this job and I was working on this project and I had a deadline and there was a bug in the code and I couldn't fix it. And I was so frustrated because it felt like a lot was on the line. And this guy sitting beside me who had been hired maybe two weeks after me and was probably five years younger than me in his very cool ways that to me
00:36:45
Speaker
Robbie, maybe you should go get some lunch. And at the time I was passed, right? I was like, who is he and how dare he? And I, you know, but he was right. And the funny thing is that I was at that company for seven years. And by the time I left, this guy was the head of the company.
00:37:02
Speaker
And he just knew how to have perspective and build relationships and interact with what was happening in a really useful way. But at the time, I did not like him. I was not happy. And so sometimes even if people are giving us valuable feedback, if we're defensive about it, or we believe our own story, or we don't think we can change the way we are, we're going to stay stuck there. Oh, yeah.
00:37:30
Speaker
Yeah, it's often the people that tick us off the most that end up being our greatest teachers. They start throwing places at ourselves where we need to do some work. Yeah, no kidding, right? So sometimes if we're working really hard and we're stressed and we see people who are looser and more relaxed throughout things, sometimes we can be resentful of them and say, well, you know, they're not doing anything. And it's really hard to model something that you are resentful of.
00:37:56
Speaker
So I think that that's an important piece. And, you know, along these lines, I often we have lots of women who come to the clinic for help, especially for things like weight loss and stress management. And so, you know, often it comes up that if they have a family and a spouse, that the women usually tend to do more around the house and they're more detail oriented. And in some ways, that's just the way that we're made as women.
00:38:22
Speaker
And so, you know, it often comes up that if that their husband's a lot more laid back than they are. And I know my husband is and I've learned a lot from watching him and taking his feedback when he notices that I'm getting wound up.
00:38:38
Speaker
But some people, it really pisses them off because they say, well, hey, if I was like him, then how are the dishes going to get done? How are we going to eat, right? The kids are never going to get to school. And so they'll dig their heels in instead of saying, hmm, maybe there's something useful to learn from that. And so I think opening ourselves up to maybe the people who function very differently from us can be a very useful thing that way. Absolutely.
00:39:08
Speaker
Actually, if you look at people who are very, very successful, most of them, you often see pictures of them having vacations with their families. They've built these multi-billion dollar companies and yet they have plenty of time to play. It's not in the fact that they are ignoring themselves in order to succeed.
00:39:34
Speaker
they're actually taking care of themselves. Right, so it starts with the mood and their success was built from having perspective and then getting into detail when they need to, but always standing back for the perspective. Yep. It also gives you the opportunity to release a lot of them. For example, I think you've done a session, I think it was with Vicki on Ho'oponopono.
Embracing Forgiveness through Ho'oponopono
00:40:04
Speaker
And that's a great way to let go of some of these things that are becoming a block for ourselves. That forgiveness process is huge stuff. Huge stuff.
00:40:17
Speaker
Great, Rita. Well, thank you so much. I think that we covered a lot of really interesting themes here to help people learn how to manage stress better. And it was a lot of fun. Lots of great stories and examples. If you want to learn more about Rita, go ahead and share your contact info so people know where to find you. Certainly. You can contact me at info at districthypnosis.com. Or you can call my business at 202.
00:40:51
Speaker
And if people want to learn more about how hypnosis can help you, you can also go to hypnosistrainingcanada.com. We have lots of free goodies there, things that you can learn. And if you're ready for the live experience, then we can set up a time for a free consultation to see if getting either training or one-on-one coaching or mentoring is a good fit for you. Yes.
00:41:15
Speaker
Yes. Great. Well, thanks so much, Rita. It was great to do this. And really interesting to hear your perspectives. We've known each other for a long time. And I feel like through this conversation, I know even more about you and how you look at things. So it was really interesting. Well, thank you very much. I appreciate the opportunity.
00:41:36
Speaker
Have you ever wondered if you can be hypnotized? Tune in next week and explore with us what helps you get the most out of seeing a professional hypnotist to get your goals. And to find out more about how hypnosis training can help you, go to hypnosistrainingcanada.com for more info and to schedule your free consultation. Remember to click the button to subscribe, share the podcast with a friend, and please leave us a review so you can help others benefit from the podcast too. Until next week.
00:42:07
Speaker
You've been listening to The Hypnosis Show with Robbie Spear Miller. Tune in next time to learn more about how you can change your life with hypnosis. And if you are interested in learning more about training opportunities, go to hypnosistrainingcanada.com and schedule a free consultation.