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Ep. 35: Hypnosis Training For Coaches
190 Plays3 years ago
If you are already having success - as a coach, hypnotist, therapist, manager of people, or simply as a human being - sometimes you feel like you shouldn’t need more feedback, even though deep down you know you can benefit. Other times people are embarrassed to ask for the help, or don’t know where to find it.
Discover how a very successful corporate coach improved her coaching client results, and transformed her own life, with hypnosis training.
On this episode, you will learn:
⁃ How to build a feeling of safety, curiosity and a sense of humour when receiving feedback.
⁃ Ways the hands-on learning and feedback of hypnosis training helps you truly “walk the talk” so you can be the coach your clients need you to be.
⁃ The advantage of incorporating hypnosis into coaching and training to take your clients’ success to another level.
Shona Welsh has 25 years experience in coaching in leadership. She is also a hypnotist helping people stop smoking, lose weight and manage stress. You can connect with Shona at https://www.genhypnosis.cam.
Find out more about how hypnosis training can help you be more successful as a coach, business executive, entrepreneur, hypnotist, friend, family member and human being at https://www.hypnosistrainingcanada.com
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Transcript
Transforming Feedback Perception
00:00:00
Speaker
Any sort of feedback that wasn't, oh, you're so amazing was failure. And so this whole process has really, really inspired me to change my mental model of that. And so now when things go wrong, I go, cool, some great feedback. And some days I don't mean it.
00:00:22
Speaker
Mostly, like probably about 80% of the time now, I do mean it, but the days that I don't mean it, I go, oh, interesting. You don't mean that yet about this situation. Also good information to have. So yeah, you're totally right. Like why would I stop doing stuff that I got rewarded for? Well, I realize I want to stop doing that stuff because it doesn't make me happy. And it doesn't help my relationships be, whether they're business or professional, as satisfying as they could be.
00:00:51
Speaker
You want to transform yourself and improve your life. You long to help people. You wish to become healthier, happier, and more successful.
Introduction to the Hypnosis Show and Its Impact
00:01:01
Speaker
This show is your opportunity to learn how to use hypnosis to make your life better. Each week, hypnotist Robbie Spear Miller interviews people who have already changed their lives in amazing ways with hypnosis.
00:01:14
Speaker
These models can help you discover your path to making the most of your life. If you want to learn how hypnosis can help you reach your goals, this show is for you.
00:01:27
Speaker
Hello, everybody. I'm Robbie Spear Miller, the host of the Hypnosis Show podcast. And today, we're going to be exploring the theme of people who are already having a lot of success and how you can experience hypnosis training to help you. And sometimes, whether we're a coach or a hypnotist or a therapist or a manager or people or simply a human being, if we've had a certain level of success or life experience,
00:01:57
Speaker
Sometimes we feel like we shouldn't need more feedback or maybe it's embarrassing to ask for it even if we know that we could use it. Maybe we don't even know where to get it from.
Overcoming Habitual Learning and Embracing Subconscious Beliefs
00:02:08
Speaker
Today we're going to be learning how a very successful corporate coach with 25 years of experience in coaching and leadership grew in amazing ways with hypnosis training and the feedback and the accountability that that involves. Welcome Shenoa.
00:02:26
Speaker
Well, thank you very much for having me, Robbie. Great to be here. It's great to have you here. So it would be great for you to start by sharing with people what made you decide to do hypnosis training? What were the things that were kind of pushing you in that direction? Yeah, yeah, great question. So like you said, I work with a lot of leaders in my coaching practice. And, you know, one of the things that
00:02:51
Speaker
was really starting to bother me was I would give them information and tools and they would be excited about them and they would try them out in the workplace and they would work and then they'd go back to doing everything they used to do before. So I started thinking, oh my gosh, it's about way more than just giving information. There's something else kind of more deeply rooted here that's going on. And long story short, just reflecting on and learning about
00:03:21
Speaker
how much our beliefs about who we are and how we show up are subconscious and influence what we do. And that just led me to hypnosis. And yeah, here I am. All right, great. So I know when you started with hypnosis training, there were some really big growth areas for you. And so you've had all this success in your career. And sometimes when we have that kind of success, we can play magic tricks where we can kind of hide the areas we need to grow.
00:03:50
Speaker
and so we can compensate for it or or distract from it and and nobody will ask any questions because we're kind of we're we're the ones who are creating the world right and and our coaching clients or our students are responding to that when you chose to be in this environment you you were joining this world and so my role as your trainer was to take away like to reveal the magic tricks
00:04:16
Speaker
to take away the things that you were, the crutches you were relying on. So talk a little bit about what that experience was like for you and how important it was in terms of your growth as a coach and a person.
00:04:31
Speaker
Yeah, so another great question. I think all of us now can look back on moments like that and laugh about them. But yeah, my first real challenge was actually in the first course in the basic hypnosis training. And to make a long story short, basically, I have received kudos and rewards professionally and personally.
00:04:57
Speaker
for being that straight A student and following the rules and here's the process and just that linear academic learning that, yeah, you can be quite successful with to a point. So there I am in the basic hypnosis course and the instruction was, okay, jump in with your fellow students hypnosis clients and that
00:05:21
Speaker
you know, start performing hypnosis inductions. And I'm like, what? Wait, wait a minute. I don't know how to do this. And there was something about that because my whole, again, I got rewarded for learning the process. I felt like a four year old, you know, where, you know, I'm old enough to talk and explain things, but I don't have the tools to actually function.
Feedback and Growth: A Paradigm Shift
00:05:44
Speaker
And so I pretty much had a hissy fit.
00:05:47
Speaker
Um, maybe, I mean, certainly externally, but more in my head, like, what do you mean? I'm not going to be told what to do. And that was so out of my comfort zone in terms of how I learn and then apply information. So yeah, Robbie had to come on and basically talk me down. Uh, and then right after that, one of the other students was asking some of the questions I had and, and
00:06:12
Speaker
And Robbie answered that student, but not me. And I, and again, another little hissy fit. It's not fair. It's totally not fair. Like, exactly. I'm into four year old Shona, right? And I actually said, why does he get to ask questions? And I don't. And Robbie and her wisdom, right? It just really calmly said to me, because he does not need to learn this. You do.
00:06:38
Speaker
And this was a moment of truth for me because I knew in my bones the truth of that. And that's what kept me coming back is I've lived in this world of learning my whole career and went, wow, there's something transformative going on here. And so that was the first thing. Yeah, very first course.
00:07:04
Speaker
Yeah, isn't it interesting how when we when we have ways of coping and you probably started doing things this way when you were really little and you were really good at it. So you do a great job and you're like ahead of it because you don't want any criticism. So you do such a good job that it couldn't possibly happen. But it really kept you from engaging in real life learning. Yeah, totally. I mean, the thing from the NLP training, the neuro linguistic programming part of
00:07:31
Speaker
The training that really has stuck with me, it just resonated with me, is this concept of there is no failure, there's only feedback. And I realized that my entire life, for a lot of reasons, all of us come from different interesting families, was that any sort of feedback that wasn't, oh, you're so amazing,
00:07:54
Speaker
was failure. And so this whole process has really, really inspired me to change my mental model of that. And so now when things go wrong, I go, cool, some great feedback. And some days I don't mean it.
00:08:12
Speaker
Mostly like probably about 80% of the time now I do mean it, but the days that I don't mean it, I go, Oh, interesting. You don't mean that yet about the situation. Also good information to have. So yeah, you're totally right. Like why would I stop doing stuff that I got rewarded for? Well, I realize I want to stop doing that stuff because it doesn't make me happy and it doesn't help my relationships be whether they're business or professional as satisfying as they could be.
00:08:41
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. So talk about how that learning about being forced to just go and experience it and whatever happens happens. How did that discovery help you with your coaching clients?
Coaching with Curiosity and Connection
00:08:56
Speaker
Well, first of all, the big aha moment for me was, oh my gosh, like you are totally resting on processes and information as opposed to
00:09:07
Speaker
you know, just sort of completely trying to be with the person and understand the world from their perspective. And I mean, when you do coaching training, there is a certain amount of that, right? You put your ego aside, et cetera, but not really, like you don't learn the depth of it. And how could you? Because we're learning it through, put your ego aside, great, how do I do that? So what the hypnosis training, and it's always a work in progress, is understanding the importance of
00:09:36
Speaker
not just with a hypnosis client, but with my coaching clients is really, really connecting with them and creating that rapport and really understanding their world. And therefore it makes it easier for you to understand their pain and their patterns and why those patterns have been working for them. But what's going to also help them, you know, take that further. So
00:10:00
Speaker
I conduct all my coaching sessions completely differently now. Yeah, I use the coaching skills that I've learned, but I spend a lot more time being curious. We talk a lot about curiosity, being the cornerstone of being an effective hypnotist and NLP practitioner. And so I spend a lot more time being curious about their situation as opposed to jumping into solutions. Because how can we do that if we don't even really fully understand what's going on?
00:10:29
Speaker
So it's really shifted how I react to coaching clients. Here's another thing, too, Robbie, is being that academically prepared person, I always have a plan. I got a plan. I can talk about these three things in the coaching session. We're going to do this. And lately, in the last few months, what's happening is I'll still do like a little outline. But more often than not, the outline gets thrown away because I'm better just being with the client and accepting
00:10:58
Speaker
Being comfortable with whatever happens is what was meant to happen. It doesn't matter what the plan was. Because the client changed from the last time you saw him. So you made your outline from the last time. And if they've changed, then they need something different. And so the answers are actually in the client and you're learning how to trust that.
Realness and Vulnerability in Leadership
00:11:22
Speaker
Right, exactly.
00:11:24
Speaker
Yeah, and it's funny because you've taken things like improv classes, right? Because you teach public speaking, you've done all that kind of stuff, and yet the structure of needing to know the answers or to know what to expect was really strong. I bet a lot of the people you coach also struggle with that, that they're also trying to follow structure and achieve and get the kudos.
00:11:49
Speaker
And I bet they experienced a lot of stress because they're worried that, you know, they talk about things like imposter syndrome or somebody finding out. You find a lot of your clients experienced a lot of stress around that. Oh, absolutely. And, you know, I was thinking about a client that I've been working with most recently. And yeah, this individual is so worried.
00:12:13
Speaker
that they're going to discover that she doesn't know everything about everything. And I quote from television shows and things like that where knowing everything is actually counterintuitive, but people respond to you better as a leader when they know you don't know everything.
00:12:36
Speaker
And it is counterintuitive to people, but it does help with that imposter syndrome. You know, a weird thing happens in people's minds when they get the word president or executive director or whatever lofty title after their names. It's like this belief system kicks in that, Oh, I'm the president, therefore I must know everything. And, and a lot of our work is having them realize that's actually not true.
00:13:04
Speaker
Um, there's, there's one CEO that, that I've been on just really, really short story. He had to tell people that they lost a big contract and 300 people are going to be laid off. And, uh, we were talking about his speech, which was just a bunch of blah, blah leadership stuff. You know, we'll all get through this together. And he said, what do you think? And I said, I think you shouldn't do this speech. You should just go out there and tell them the truth that you're worried. You don't know how to recover the business and ask for people's help.
00:13:33
Speaker
And there was no way, no how he was going there. Long story short, he went there. I still didn't know like five minutes before if he was going to do it. I was there with him and he went out on the stage and he bared his soul. He said, this is what happened. I don't know what to do. I need your help. Long story short, three weeks later, they recovered the business and actually had to hire more people. And he said to me since then,
00:13:54
Speaker
that was probably the best leadership lesson I've ever had is that I don't have to have all the answers. Yeah. And you want a leader who's aware they don't have all the answers because if they think they do, there's a problem, right? Huge problem. We've all worked for leaders like that. Yeah. Yeah. But getting comfortable with that is a rare thing, but that's where the real leadership comes from, right? Like the charisma, the
00:14:20
Speaker
real confidence comes from facing challenges when things aren't going well. And so he was showing them how he could do that and that helped them do it too.
The Importance of Genuine Human Connection
00:14:31
Speaker
Yeah, it's that human connection, right? And it's the same thing with being a hypnotist, right? It's being
00:14:36
Speaker
being okay with trying different things and being vulnerable with that until you've lit on the thing that actually works for your client and there's nothing wrong with that, it's okay. Yeah, so in your life, up until the time you met me, mostly you had kind of this window dressing where you had this way to structure your world so that you could believe everything was under control and you were okay, right? Yeah, oh yeah.
00:15:05
Speaker
Nothing's under control, right, in any of our lives, at least most of it. It's just an illusion. Yeah. And so the cool thing is that now that illusion has been taken away and you actually have more choice and you have more control than you ever had.
00:15:22
Speaker
Right? So sometimes we grab onto things and we believe it's going to give us more control. But the letting go and the trusting as it unfolds actually gives you even more choice and flexibility. Yeah, it is counterintuitive, right? Because many of us have gone through the education system and, you know, our careers and getting rewarded for giving the right answer or
00:15:49
Speaker
the right process. And so it creates this anxiety that if I don't know the answer, which many leaders don't, especially in this volatile world, you know, that if I don't know the answer, that somehow I'm a failure versus, Oh, I don't know the answer to this. Well, where can we find out more information about this? And that just sort of like curious way, you know,
00:16:14
Speaker
Most things have some way that we can get through them. And it's just a question of being creative about it. Right. And so being willing to tell the truth and it starts with yourself because sometimes we numb out to our own truth. Yeah. I mean, here's another story from our training, right? So about a month ago, there was a situation where again, we're doing our online clinical training and you said to me in my interaction with someone,
00:16:44
Speaker
Oh, right, well, Shona's, you know, Shona's irritated. And I just, I just, for that moment went, really? I'm irritated? Like, and this is how I've changed in the last few months. I think six months ago, I would have went, I'm not irritated. But that night I went, Oh, well, that's interesting. What might I be irritated about? And it didn't take very long for me to figure out I was irritated. And I knew what I was irritated about. And it wasn't a big thing.
00:17:11
Speaker
But yeah, I had this moment. Well, first of all, it's so amazing that you work with a hypnotist like you and they read you and you're like, uh-oh. But to realize that there's so much of ourselves that previously we've been hiding behind and therefore it's been inaccessible to us and to have that moment of truth and go, wow.
00:17:35
Speaker
So after that, Robbie, I was like, Oh, no, what else am I irritated about that I don't even know I'm irritated about. So one of the things we learn, right, is just paying attention to what's happening in our senses. And that's often, well, it is much more truthful than any words we've learned to say.
00:17:52
Speaker
Mm-hmm. And becoming aware of it also helps with people in communication and relationships because if you don't realize you're irritated, but other people see that, they're going to have a reaction to you, right? And if you're not even aware, you're going to keep going like a runaway train on whatever track you were on and wonder, why is everybody reacting this way? And so it gives you a lot more awareness and choice.
00:18:18
Speaker
so that even if you are feeling that way, you can shift that or grow through it or be real about it with people. Oh yeah, like you mentioned personal relationships. You know, recently I was talking with a family member and they said something, not out of character for them, but I had this immediate sort of irritated reaction. And because of my hypnosis training, I was kind of able to in that moment,
00:18:46
Speaker
just sort of step aside and watch what was happening to me and kind of finding it funny and going, oh, look what you're doing in a response to him. And this all happened, of course, in a few seconds. And it completely changed the way I did respond to him and in a way that I haven't before. And it was so
00:19:07
Speaker
It's so gratifying in that moment to realize, oh wow, I've really learned different ways to be more productive and understanding where my emotions are and then dealing with them.
Embracing Failure as Feedback for Growth
00:19:21
Speaker
Yeah, and you're discovering that relationships are so much stronger and more resilient when you're real than when you used to believe you had to follow the rules or do things a certain way and you were very good at being polished and polite. But sometimes when people are too good at that, other people feel like they don't really know you, right? So as a leader, real charisma comes from showing emotion.
00:19:45
Speaker
And people knowing you and being confident within that. And so your ability to do that was limited because of all these rules and this need to prove that you were presenting a certain way. And shown as we talk about this, I can relate because I've grown through a lot of these same patterns, right? So here we are showing all your stories. I really love this and a lot of other people.
00:20:08
Speaker
can relate as well. So it's really awesome that you're willing to share this with people because it, you know, then people could say, Oh, wow, I'm not the only one. Oh, and yeah, you're so right. There definitely would have been a time where there's no way I would have said anything about these reactions because I, I would have felt ashamed of them, or that somehow I was missing something. Or if I just learned it the right way, then
00:20:38
Speaker
I'd be able to do it and it is so much more freeing to go, Oh yeah, I was a total about this and that's okay. Cause I don't know how to do it yet, but I will. Yeah. It's very freeing. Yeah. To say, Oh wow, thank God that didn't go well. Now I see what I need to learn. Cause sometimes if it does go well, we don't learn anything.
00:21:00
Speaker
Oh, yeah. I mean, there's that old saying you learn more from failure than success. Yeah. Well, I've been failing a lot in hypnosis except for I haven't because it's just feedback. And actually I had a situation last week where someone dear to me called me up in the middle of being super, super stressed out about something and really sort of just overreacting.
00:21:29
Speaker
And I didn't even think about it. I just went into some of the techniques that we've learned in hypnosis and NLP and because this person is near and dear to me and I not a client and I wasn't feeling like I must be, you know, proper. I just did it and walked away from that. First of all, this person was just amazed about how the mind frame switched very quickly, but I walked away from it going.
00:21:54
Speaker
Okay, let that be a lesson to you that when you absolutely put away your ego and don't worry about the right thing You you can meet your client where they need like for example, I tried two or three different techniques with this person until one worked and I didn't stress when the others didn't work. I just went. Okay. Well, that's not working Let's try this thing and it was amazing
00:22:21
Speaker
So the proof is in actually doing it, isn't it? It sure is. Yeah. So is there anything else that you think other coaches or people who've already experienced success in some way, executives and leaders and the type of people you work with, what else do you think would be useful for them to know about what the benefits of hypnosis and NLP training for their success?
Adapting Leadership to a Changing World
00:22:46
Speaker
Well, I think a few things come to mind. Always keep in mind that when you're a leader, that the higher up you go in that chain, the further away you get from the realities of the challenges your frontline people are having. And it's easy to make decisions that have unintended consequences. And so teaching you to be curious about discovering what's really going on before you jump is a really great skill.
00:23:14
Speaker
I think the other thing I run into with a lot of leaders is, um, if you're my vintage, which is in your fifties, you've been doing leadership for a long time and the world is very different. And so a lot of my work recently is about reframing what we believe about leadership and a reframing things that we used to do that worked that no longer work that no, whoops, that no longer work. And so how do you choose something different and it's okay.
00:23:42
Speaker
you know, learning is a lifelong thing. So understanding that what you believe to be true about leadership in the past may not be true tomorrow. So just being flexible and being curious are two important things. And being real is a big part of that. Yeah. Yeah. We talk a lot about authenticity, but there's a lot of talk about authenticity.
00:24:07
Speaker
there isn't a lot of, in my experience, not a lot of actual authenticity, so. Mm-hmm, yeah. Share a little bit about how your personal life and your personal relationships have improved, like how you feel about you, your stress levels, your own confidence, your relationships with family and friends, so talk more about that. Well, gosh, I could probably talk for an hour, but just to kind of summarize it, I'm calmer,
00:24:37
Speaker
about everything, things can go awry and I'll go, okay, well, there's a way we can figure this out together. At the end of the day, you know, really super busy work day, whether it's personal or professional, I'm not nearly as exhausted as I used to be. And it's because I'm not being so nearly hard on myself. And like I said, when something
00:25:00
Speaker
challenging happens, I'll go, okay, well, that's good feedback. What am I going to do differently? I'm spending way less time beating myself up about things. So that's brought a kind of calmness and peace to all my relationships. I gave the example of a family member where I was in the middle of what could have become
00:25:21
Speaker
an escalating conflict and I just backed out of it because I was able to see where I was going with it and it wasn't going to get me to building the relationship. From a stress point of view, I've been sleeping better because I'm not worried all the time about being perfect or getting it right. It just is what it is and trusting that
00:25:46
Speaker
I've got a great skill set to draw on and the client will be my guide on best things to draw on. And then finally, one other thing too is, and this wasn't a plan, but I've struggled with weight pretty much all my life because food has been my stress management.
Personal Success with Self-Hypnosis
00:26:04
Speaker
That's why mainly, and there's other complicating reasons, but that's it. And so just over the last three months,
00:26:12
Speaker
of doing self-hypnosis around weight loss, it's no longer my go-to stress management thing. And so I'm down 10 pounds without even thinking about it, just making good choices. So it's had spillover effects into pretty much every area of my life, not just my professional life. Yeah. And I bet lots of people can relate to that.
00:26:37
Speaker
Oh, yeah. I'm the expert on every diet known to man, you know, and none of it. I mean, I could lose weight, but it never stayed off. And this feels pretty solid. Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. Good. Well, thanks. This is great. I think a lot of people will benefit from hearing about your experience. So I really appreciate you sharing. It was great to be here. Thanks. Yeah, it's great to have you. Go ahead and share with people how they can reach you if they're interested in coaching or hypnosis.
00:27:07
Speaker
Right, so I'm the director of Genesis Hypnosis in Barrie and the website is genhypnosis.com and we do the free screenings like all of our hypnosis colleagues and so if you want to avail yourself of a free screening just give us a call at 249-535-5586.
Future Topics and Resources for Hypnosis
00:27:35
Speaker
If people who are listening are interested in getting hypnosis training, you can go to our site hypnosistrainingcanada.com. We've got lots of free learning resources there for you. And if you feel like you're ready to really engage with live training and have a growing experience similar to what Shona is describing and the way you need,
00:27:56
Speaker
Then you're welcome to set up a time for a free admissions consultation with me. We'll see if this type of training is a good fit for you and if we can accept you here as a student. So if you're ready for that, I look forward to meeting with you and you can either call 800-971-5774 to book that or go to hypnosistrainingcanada.com and you can book online.
00:28:19
Speaker
Most of us have come across people who have unfortunate intentions and sabotage others, whether they are in our circle of family and friends or people we come across in everyday life. On our next podcast, you will learn how to identify these types of people and behaviors and gracefully protect yourself from them. Remember to click the button to subscribe, show the podcast with a friend, and we would love for you to leave us a review so you can help others benefit from the podcast too. Until next time,
00:28:49
Speaker
You've been listening to The Hypnosis Show with Robbie Spear Miller. Tune in next time to learn more about how you can change your life with hypnosis. And if you are interested in learning more about training opportunities, go to hypnosistrainingcanada.com and schedule a free consultation.