Transcript
Speaker: to look them in the eye a major day it made my life I didn't tell you're a really good mom like what I'm checking out groceries
Speaker: Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Unprofessional Opinion. I am Heather. And I'm Caitlin. Thanks for having us. Okay, let's see if she remembers from last time.
Speaker: Um, y 'all I'm so pumped to have Kate. If y 'all been listening to season two, we kicked it off with her and she's back. She's back. And I'm so excited. Back virtually. She's in Pensacola, Florida, which is where I am mentally on the beach. I got the tan going on. Oh my God. You do look tanner. Did you go to the beach recently? Yes. I'm just outside more. It's amazing. Yeah. I love it. Well, it's getting pretty hot in Texas. So we're not outside as much, but
Speaker: I'm happy to have you on specifically because this is the last episode of the mini series, 30 things I learned before 30. I love it. Yeah. I'm glad to hear that. It's so interesting that everyone's coming with something different and it's like, I'm asking like, Oh, what are your three ahead of time? But everyone's literally like, it's different each time. Really? They've all been different. They've all been different. And some people I've shared like, okay, this is the list so far, but still everyone's like,
Speaker: We've all lived 30 years, but we have different takeaways from it, which is super cool. You've turned 30 already. Yes. You are wiser, older. 30 and thriving. What's it like on the other side? I do recommend for anyone turning 30, watch 13 going on 30. I saw that y 'all did that too. That's so cute. Not before. It was so fun.
Speaker: It's just so funny at some point along the way, you know, you've always related more to the kid in those movies. Yeah. And then you watch it and you're like, huh, don't relate at all to the kid anymore. Like, I am the adult. It's just hilarious. And I remember she used to look so, like, grown. And now I'm like, she looks good. She's young. Like, I need my skin to look. It's just hilarious watching it again. When was that movie made? It had to be like back in the 90s, no?
Speaker: Yes, okay. I wonder if things are still like relevant, you know, describe 30 back then. It is she's like in her career crushing it. I there's like a references to marriage and dating people and it is very accurate and I love it. You should go watch it today. I want to see not see it in so long. So I it's really good. I'm good. It was I was like,
Speaker: Yeah, I love it. I always, I have a niece, my niece Taylor. I think you've, I don't know if you've met her before, but I've definitely talked about her, but I always call her 13 going on 30 because she's turning 13 this year and she's like my 30 year old friend. She's just like so, so mature. But yeah, I need to watch the movie. Well, that's it. I'm so excited that you had your birthday and you had a great time and you had some girlfriends that flew down to see you too, which looked so much fun. Oh, sweet. That was sweet. Yeah.
Speaker: with your family, did the beach days, all the things too. I spent the morning of my birthday on the beach. Yeah, that's ideal. And then got to spend my first birthday in like years with my family. So my grandma came over like that. So it was sweet. That's true. The older that you get, you just really don't spend vacations or like really many holidays.
Speaker: birthdays with your family. Do you remember when my mom and dad would always come to Dallas and we would do like a big dinner birthday trip for your. Well, it was our like summer vacation, but they planned it over my birthday in June, which like
Speaker: great time to like have a vacation, but I was always spending it with them. And I was like, I got, I went like hanging out with my friends on my birthday. So we ended up like stopping that. But anyway, so funny, but normally you don't spend too many holidays with your family if you live away. Yeah. If you live away, especially. Yeah. That was really sweet. I definitely fully had in my head, like I'm going to spend my 30th birthday in New York with a few close girlfriends. Like that was the vision in my head.
Speaker: And so that was not at all the plan, but it was so sweet. It was so sweet. Austin, like made a big banner on the sat on the wall that had like 30 things we love about Caitlin. I saw that. Yeah.
Speaker: Me and so emotional like that. And so it was sweet. It was an easy little tee up for my family to write things, which was fun. Write some nice things about me. Things good. I'm sure your family can think of lots of good things, but. Yeah, they are sweet. Yeah, that's awesome. OK, you ready to kick it off? Yeah, you go. OK, cool. OK, so I'll start.
Speaker: Oh my gosh, I just can't believe this is the last series. So are you sharing? I forgot the same three. No, so I'll share like a different three. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah. So like we're going to end up being, this last episode, we'll have 30 in total. And honestly, I want to like share it back to everyone at the end of this, just so like put on Instagram or something, just so everyone can see it. Oh, because it's honestly really cool, like whatever we came up with. Yeah, so I'll do that.
Speaker: Um, okay. So my first one of the last episodes was, um, so life is not always going to like hand things to you. Um, and it sounds just like, well, duh, you know, but I, like, I was thinking, so like a couple of weeks ago, and I may have told you to, one of the goals for myself before I turned 32, uh, was to buy another house. And then I say 32 because I bought this house at 27 and I was like, okay,
Speaker: five years, I can save up to get something else. And I always told myself that, but I never looked into it. This money in the house is just going to come to me and then I buy it. If you want this, and this is a goal for yourself, you need to actually take the steps forward to accomplish it.
Speaker: And so I like took my own advice and was like, okay, I haven't done anything. And it's like two more years. I mean, it's not like the world's ending if I don't accomplish this. But I was like, I have this goal. Like, let me like at least inquire and get the information. So I got a call with
Speaker: my mortgage company and learned everything and realized I'm not ready to buy the house. It's a lot of money for a second property. So you know all about the loans. I went through all of that with her and was like, holy cow, like percentage down is so different. Oh my gosh. So anyway, but I learned about it and I needed to like, now I know, okay, well I need to save up or I need to do this or that to be able to
Speaker: to get that. So that was at least like a super relevant example that goes back to this. It's like, you need to help yourself get to where you want to go. Your goals and your aspirations will not, I mean, maybe you just get lucky and you've got a business idea, you pitch it and it gets sold, whatever. But you need to actively be pursuing this, like what you've done with Bloom. Bloom won't be successful. You just posting every now and then, you need to be active about that too. So I mean, the property thing,
Speaker: came to mind. If you want a promotion at your job, yeah, you can grind, but you need to be an advocate for yourself to be connecting with your boss, your boss's boss, and tell them what you're doing. Share that. Be an advocate for yourself because no one else is doing that or can do that as much as you can. It really could just paint all these different pictures or whatever it looks like in your life.
Speaker: But moral of the story is you need to be your own advocate and you need to pursue what's important to you. Yeah, I love that. It's like a life by design, not to fall, you know, like your life's going to continue and things are going to fall as they may. But if you're designing your life and curating it and like taking intentional steps, then you're going to be much happier with the results.
Speaker: I mean that was a huge part of our move to Florida. That was a huge part of like really dialing into the bloom box and like not having a steady paycheck from a corporate job in the last few months because I was like we we sat down and we're like what's our vision for our family and for our marriage and
Speaker: Okay, it looks like this and we want to be able to travel and we want to be able to do this. So a good job dictates a lot of that. And if we're never, like you said, taking steps toward the podcast, taking steps towards Bloom or the business or the idea, then we're never going to get there. Like we just have a friend we both know who just hopped on a plane and went to Europe and is living there. And she couldn't just do that. She had to start
Speaker: creating business and lines, streams of income that were remote from her corporate job to be able to quit, to be able to sustain herself, to be able to move. So it's, none of it's by happenstance. That's like, that's so good. I love that you said that. Yeah. Yeah. I could not do what she's doing. So that's great. She's making it happen. So the fact is that she did it.
Speaker: Let me know if you don't do it. Hi. Yes. I feel like both in that era right now. I love that. You just got to try it out. You do. Okay. Give me your first. Let's hear it. Okay. My first is to have a story to tell. This was for most of my twenties, I was very single.
Speaker: I heard it from somewhere I can't remember where but I just heard a lady say I wanted to have a story to tell my husband one day and I was like heck freaking yes like I would have a story to tell I want to have traveled I want to have made amazing friendships made amazing memories gone to California on a girls trip like had all these experiences and things accomplished to tell my husband one day
Speaker: And it's so fun to now be married and be with kids. And even when my kids grow up, I get to tell them one day and even new friends that I make, I get to share all these experiences with them or share wisdom that I learned or experience that I had. And that was a huge mental shift because I think
Speaker: at some point along the way growing up, I was like, Oh, my life's going to begin when I meet my Prince Charming. And so many people talk about it like that. You're just like trying to get married. And it's like, Oh my goodness. No, you could spend years single before you get married or meet your person. Like that's not a waste. That's
Speaker: That is quality life. And so I just, something switched in my twenties where I was like, no, I'm already living in it. Like I've already started. He may or may not come along the way. I wasn't even sure I was going to get married one day because it had to be the right fit in someone who's going to make my life better, not just add to my life for no reason. And so that was a huge shift for me is have a story to tell. So that's great. I remember when you first told me that I just thought it was,
Speaker: a really cool perspective because it's less about like, I don't know, it's just very like forward thinking too. You know, like you are living your life out. You want like a story to tell. It's not like reactive and you're just like letting life hit you. Like you are wanting to build the life that you're proud of and you're happy about.
Speaker: So when like this is didn't happen this exact like if I'm like, oh, I've been axe throwing before or something random. I was like, no, you haven't. And I'm like, baby, I left a whole story to tell.
Speaker: I lived a whole life before you. Actually, I have. I was with this other guy in Nebraska. It's so funny when those moments come up where he's like, hey, you haven't done that, or you haven't been to Savannah, Georgia. I'm like, oh, yes, I have. Three times. You didn't know me then. I love it. It's so fun. I love hearing his stories, too. That's awesome. I know. I feel like some of the stories that I have to tell, it's more like
Speaker: like ones I'm not proud of that I'm like, you know, when I have children, be like, you know, don't do what mom did. Don't, don't do this. Don't play this story out for yourself. Just learn from me and don't do the same thing. Yeah, I hope to. Yeah. But the good things. Yeah. But it can also be reflective of don't do that. But yes, that's awesome. Uh, okay. So my second was, uh, to be considerate and nice to everyone.
Speaker: and like death, right? And so, but I like, I, so I looked at this at like two ways. So one, uh, and I shared this with you too, but like be nice to everyone because you do not know what people are walking through. Like for example, I called a friend last week and I just like, it didn't sound the same. She just was like, there was like something off, but she wasn't like giving me anything. I just felt weird leaving the conversation. I was like, I feel like there's something underneath it that she's just like not
Speaker: sharing with me. And so I ended up sending her cookies. I was like, hey, you sounded really down. And I know she'd been going through a time. And she ended up calling me and we chatted. And she was going through a really, really hard time. So I had no idea. And I just happened to have called her and been able to kind of suss it out. But you really do not know what people have going on. So sometimes you in your head can build up stories and
Speaker: build up like, Oh, this person like did this because of this. And it's like, okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, like take a step back, like, just be nice to everybody. Like come at it with a blank slate, because you really don't know what people are struggling through with. Yeah, mental health, whether it's
Speaker: you know, my husband doesn't live in my city and he's traveling back and forth between Dallas and Pensacola all the time. Whatever it is, like everyone's got their own struggle. So like just being gracious, right? And then also like be considerate and nice to people, anybody, because you never know like when it will come back around. So like I've realized that the world is very small in my twenties. That's why I'm taking away thirties. Like everybody seems to know everyone or you can at least find like,
Speaker: two degrees, three degrees of a lot of people that you meet. And it's kind of crazy. It really is. Even like Taylor Mason, who I had on the episode of 30 Before 30 a couple of weeks ago, where literally we used to work together in Fayetteville at an apartment complex. And
Speaker: I don't know what I did for her. Like I did it just to get bar money and like to go out on the weekends. And so like she was just a random person. I mean, I never sell her again. And then I see her at the doors of shoreline or church in Dallas. And I was like, I didn't even know you lived here. And so then like years later now I like attended her connect group and now we like do a lot of life together and like
Speaker: We are in the same circle. Yeah, we knew each other in Fayetteville. And then here we are, and then she's on an episode. So you just literally never know. And then another example, my coworker at my new job knew one of the guys that I went to Fayetteville with that I was his formal date one year.
Speaker: and like the connection the first day. It's just really, really weird. Like everyone comes back around, but don't do it just because of that. Do it because you're a nice person and you're a good person and just be nice to everybody. But there are, there are so many connections. So
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Speaker: Okay, that's so true because I have a high school friend who she just recently followed my business Instagram and it hit me because I remembered, actually I was in college quite a few years ago. I was raising money to go on a mission trip. I had to like raise money and then every summer I would serve with
Speaker: Girls at this Christian camp. It was like a cheerleading FCA camp and I had to raise money a certain amount every before the summer and She donated like a huge amount out of nowhere I hadn't heard from her since high school and she just said, you know, Caitlin like
Speaker: just all these kind of words about the way I guess I treated her in high school and how she just would support anything I ever did. And I was like, what? This is so sweet. What the heck did I do to this girl in high school? Like, and then it's also, you know, you don't really, you feel like you're talking about someone else when you talk about the high school version of yourself. I'm like, thank God. Like whoever I was, I guess I was doing - Good thing it was nice.
Speaker: But it's crazy how it can impact someone so much that their impact of you from high school impacts them randomly, financially blessing you or supporting something you do because of how you treated them. That's so cool.
Speaker: 10 years ago, like what? And people remember, it's like always that phrase. People remember how they feel. They don't remember like what was said or what was done. They just remember how they feel. How you made them feel. Yeah. That is so true. Oh, I love that one. That's so good, Heather. That's a good example too.
Speaker: Next one? Yeah, next one. Okay. My second one is now, so I was single for a lot of my 20s and then boom got married, boom had two children, then turned 30. So whoa, really pressed the gas pedal in the last part of the 10 years. And what came from that is a huge lesson that I
Speaker: Have learned since being a mom and it's don't protect them prepare them and so Wow if you're a mom or you're gonna be a mom one day the mom like fear or
Speaker: desire to control everything about them. What school are they going to go to? Oh my gosh, who are their friends going to be? Are they breathing right now in the other room? They're sleep training. I was never a fearful person, never an anxious person when I became a mom.
Speaker: the fear and anxiety like can be so crippling and it's literally a choice. You have to know going into it like I am not going to let that get the best of me and we're believers and so we believe in God and I know that God like has my babies and is looking after them and once the best for them loves them more than I could even love them and so that brings me a lot of peace but the
Speaker: the actual choice to not be anxious or not be fearful or want to control every little thing of like, oh, they're being babysat for the first time. Are they remembering everything? Are they watching so they make sure they don't choke? I mean, all the things you can spiral. Yeah.
Speaker: just really stuck with me. I cannot protect them from everything. They're going to learn about all the horrors of the world, no matter how much I control their TV intake while they're two. They're going to see something that I can't
Speaker: I'm not going to be able to control what someone shows them in middle school. I have two boys, but what I can do is prepare them for when they're at the party. Prepare them for when they're shown something on a screen. Prepare them for when someone offers them a drink before they're 21. What are they going to do?
Speaker: in that moment because I can't stop the moment from happening. So it's like a huge release of control and almost shift of focus. Like I'm not trying to protect them from ever seeing something bad or experiencing something bad. I want to prepare them for when they do come into that moment. What do they do? Like are they equipped? Are they prepared?
Speaker: which is super intense of a thing to learn, but that has changed my life and I think my kid's life. I think that's a really good parenting tactic though. I'm not a parent, but it's just realistic. You cannot shelter your children regardless of, because at Little Rock, where I'm from, it was all private schools. You can shelter your kids in a way, for better or worse, but now in
Speaker: I mean, back then we didn't have cell phones. Like we got them like obviously later, but kids have access to so much now and they're going to eventually see things, hear things, do things. And I agree. It's just like preparing them, their minds and like what's right and wrong to do. And of course at the level they understand, like not talking about crazy things with my toddler, you know, but, um, and then we won't share everything even in middle school, but like as they can take it,
Speaker: Yeah, we're gonna share and that's also different per child, you know, some might need it earlier than others. So that's just been a huge shift for me that that's brought me so much peace so much confidence in like way less fear. So yeah, your third one. Okay, my third was give yourself time to reflect and this could be like weekly, daily, monthly, yearly, whatever it is. I know
Speaker: back when I was like years ago. I don't know if you ever did this, but I used to have the five minute journal. It was like a really aesthetic, hard back. Okay. So cute. And I loved it, but it's, it was a daily journal and it was a lot of like, it was, I mean, it was like a gratitude journal, but it was like, it helped you reflect, it helped you slow down. Um, and I mean, I really, really enjoyed it. I eventually got out of the habit of, of it, which most like, nothing like can last forever at least.
Speaker: Yeah. But I liked it. And so, but it helped me reflect. And I try to do this more and more, but ultimately, I think the benefit of it is like grounding. And it goes with the gratefulness and being thankful for what you have and all of that. But I just think about, yeah, like I think about the value being, you know, like, if a full year passes, like a full year goes so fast, like it's May,
Speaker: And it's about to be June and that's 2024. It literally feels like it was like January yesterday. Like that is every year and they always say like every year gets faster the older that you get, the older that you like grow up. And I am like starting to feel that. And so if we don't like slow down and start to like, just whether that's journaling this five minute journal, like, I don't know, just like some type of reflecting going through your calendar every year and just seeing the things that you did, the trips that you went on.
Speaker: whatever it is or even like honestly going through and like looking at old pictures from like back in January and just slowing things down. It like it's hard. It's really easy to be uprooted and to just kind of go with the ways of each year. At least I feel like, cause that's definitely done that for me for a couple of years for the past couple of years. And if I don't like just sit back and be like, wow, okay, this is a crazy week. This, this, and this happened. I'm so happy that's over. Like, let me just like sit outside, get a breath of fresh air. Let's just think about things. Like just reflect.
Speaker: just sit in that for a little bit, I think will just ground you and will make you feel like, again, your feet are on the ground and that things aren't moving so, so fast. They are still, but it will feel less fast. At least that's one of the things that I learned and some ways that I was able to do that. Obviously not successfully, but work in progress. No, I love that. I love the Five Minute Journal. And it's so funny because
Speaker: I feel something switched at some point in my life. I don't know when it was, but things stopped going fast. You say that since January has flown by, I feel like it has been three months, if not longer, in a good way. I know it's been a crazy season for me, so I could be like, oh my gosh, it feels long. I think that's definitely part of it.
Speaker: Because people talk about it a lot with kids, like, oh, it just flies by. Hold on to them while you can. And every time my baby turns another month, I'm like, no, it feels like it's been three months. No, it feels like two years. It actually feels like 10 years of being a mom to Lincoln in the best way. I feel like I've known him my whole life.
Speaker: It just stopped flying by because at some point, I feel like I'm way more just engulfed in the day or engulfed in the moment. For sure, there's moments where I'm like, okay, TikTok, I want this to be over, but I'm never like that about a full day.
Speaker: It's kind of a blessing and a curse. I try not to look forward so much to all the things in the future like counting down to the trip. We leave for Memphis tomorrow and I'm thinking about it today. Yes, I've been cleaning the house and preparing.
Speaker: I wasn't counting down for it. I love the gratitude journals because I feel like it trains you to do that. What can I be grateful for today? Who am I working with right now that I'm never going to get to see again or I can learn from or grow from? It's just finding new ways to be engulfed with wherever you're at right now.
Speaker: which is not natural all the time to do, but it makes such a difference. I agree. I mean, I admire that you can just be in the moment. And I do feel like I'm very similar to you in that way, but for me, I have to
Speaker: like actively think about that. Otherwise I will just like forward think and yeah, which is so normal. Yeah. I don't know when I'm trying to, I don't know when it's switched. Like I truly don't, but I,
Speaker: Maybe, but there was something that switched between, cause I'm still very goal driven. I think about the future. I get excited. I stay up all night working on things that I'm passionate about, but like something pivoted. I don't know what happened to where I like.
Speaker: Do not, this sounds bad. I don't know if I'm saying it right, but don't look forward to things. I'm like, I want to be in today. I'm excited about that, but I'm not counting down the hours to that. I want to be here today. I don't know. Something switched. It sounds like you're in a happy spot, though. It's a good thing. It really is. It's great. I love when time moves slower. It literally moves slower, and I don't know. I don't know when it happened.
Speaker: I need to like read my journals or something. But the thing is that it did happen. So that's all. And I love that you learn. I think it's so valuable for everyone because we live a very fast paced society and to slow down is hard. And I think the five minute journal, you should link it in the podcast. That is a great place to start and go ahead and link.
Speaker: Is it 40 days to a joy -filled life too? Because that devotional, I'm going to read literally at the start of every year. I read it this year. It's a little quick devo once a day. And it basically is like showing you, revealing to you the joy in your right now. And it changed my life. It was so good. It was so good. That's awesome. Okay. Send me that link too. I'll include both.
Speaker: Okay, now you're, wait, that was your final one? This one, it's funny because it kind of tacks on to, I think you're number two, but learn something from everyone. So I learned this in my 20s, hands down. And another way to put it is become incredibly interested
Speaker: in people. I know every single person that sat by me at a job and deep, deep, deep things about them. I can tell you one thing I admired about all of them. One thing I learned from every single one of them. You can feel it when someone's
Speaker: not interested in being around you. And I never want anyone to feel like that. I want anyone that I'm spending time with to feel as if I deeply value being with them. And I think you have to mean that to come off that way.
Speaker: And the truth is, is that there's something to learn from everyone, older than you, younger than you. If they're in the same life season, married, single, if they're in an opposite life season, like you never graduate from learning from other people. And I even, to go further, think that there's like a little glimpse of God, like that I haven't seen yet in every person that I meet.
Speaker: general just learning being so curious about people and learning from literally every single person even if it's the cashier at a grocery store like
Speaker: Like, how is she? She just made me feel so, I don't know, the Publix bagger. Publix is a grocery store here. This bad guy was bagging my groceries and I had my children there and I'm about to leave. And he literally looks at me in the eye. Heather, it stopped me in my track. He said, I can tell you're a really good mom.
Speaker: No, I just got chills. What? Like, what? From that bagger like
Speaker: Say a freaking compliment to a straight dude. Look them in the eye. A major day. It made my life. It was so sweet. I can tell you're a really good mom. Like what? I'm checking out groceries. So sweet. And I just. You are a good mom. He was right. So sweet.
Speaker: But I hope I never lose that. And I don't do it all the time. But the moments I do it and just look at people in that way with that intentionality, it makes a difference. It impacts my day. It impacts my relationship with them. It makes me be more kind to your point. And it's memorable for sure. Yeah. And I mean, I am a huge proponent that everyone comes into your life for a reason or a season.
Speaker: Maybe it's something else too. It's really true that they're going to come into your life like an ex -boyfriend, for example. What's the good thing that you're able to pull out of that? What's something you learned about yourself or a friend that you're no longer friends with? I'm saying all bad things, but what's a good thing that came from that?
Speaker: whatever or it could be just like a friend that you had at church that you just met. Like what's the good thing that came from that? There's always something that you can learn from someone. Like there always is. So you just have to like actively thinking about that too. And it could be just the bag or at Publix that
Speaker: is what really is what really starts out for you. What a gym. Well, yeah, this was so much fun. And I love that you're 30. This is the rap. This is a rap. How does it feel you did it? I'm so sad that it's over because it's been really fun to see what everyone's come up with. But
Speaker: There will be other series, I'm sure, but this was so much fun. I need a list of everyone's, because I feel like that's a great list. Yes, I'll send it along. I know. It's obviously everyone's unprofessional opinions, but I think they're pretty solid, really. Oh, I'm sure they are. Yeah, that's awesome. Well, thank you for being on for the last episode as well. We started the season with you. We're wrapping up this mini series with you. I mean, it's just a Caitlin sandwich. I'm just a bookend.
Speaker: or the bread to a sandwich. Yes, you are what keeps this podcast together. As long as I'm sourdough bread with butter, then I'll be the same one. You can do whatever bread you want. I love you. Thanks for being on. Well, thanks so much for listening, guys, and we will see you next time. Bye. Bye.
