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Christine Handy---Finding hope, self-love, and healing Part 1
26 Plays5 months ago
Christine Handy talks about how to find hope and self-love amidst adversity. She is a breast cancer, and breast implant illness thriver who found healing by serving others and sharing in the love that others have for her. Now she is spreading awareness and hope as a motivational speaker and author. Her book, "Walk Beside Me", shares the most intimate feelings of a breast cancer patient and the triumph of overcoming all obstacles. When you walk with others, God will be there. https://christinehandy.com/
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Transcript
Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:00:01
Speaker
Welcome to Breast and Plant Illness Hope for Healing. This is Cecily Henderson, your host. Thank you for joining us today. I have a very special guest I would like to introduce you to. She is a remarkable woman spreading hope, faith, and a strong message of self-love. She's also a very accomplished author, movie producer, Harvard graduate, motivational speaker and humanitarian.
Christine's Background and Health Challenges
00:00:29
Speaker
Her story is one of perseverance and how she overcame several severe medical complications, aggressive breast cancer and breast implant illness. As a former Victoria's Secret model, she recently appeared during Miami Swim Week as a fierce and confident flat model
00:00:50
Speaker
Ladies, she is a genuine inspiration helping women realize that their beauty does come from within. Welcome, Christine. Thank you so much for being here today. Thank you for having me. Thank you. it It is such a joy to have you on the podcast. As I was reading your biography and your book, just getting to know you a little bit better, I felt your compassion and the light that just surrounded you. And I'm like, oh, this is wonderful. I need to share have you share your story with others because it you know I want them to have hope. So I would love for you to introduce yourself and just share a little bit about your journey.
00:01:31
Speaker
Well, my journey is long and arduous. i was I started modeling when I was a very young child. And for now 40 some odd years, I'm still in the industry. But I had a couple decades of pause because I had first a colon resection, then a very terrible situation with my arm, then breast cancer, and then ultimately breast implant illness. So you add those up and it's many, many, many years of my life in constant pain and and physical agony and a lot of emotional duress.
Life After Illness: Writing and Speaking
00:02:05
Speaker
But what I've done since then is I wrote a book about my journey. I've um become a public speaker about it. i I still model. That's probably my main job.
00:02:18
Speaker
um I'm also a social media influencer in a positive way. I'm on the board of three nonprofits and every day I wake up, I get to serve and I get get to give people hope. And it's so important in every capacity that I do to do that because I remember when I was diagnosed and I felt very little hope and that was a very difficult moment for me. So that's a very short version of what I've gone through in the last 50 some odd years. Oh my goodness. Yeah. i i can I didn't realize, I knew who you were. I knew that you had gone through breast cancer, but you went through so much more. Well, going back to my earlier years of modeling, I was very fixated on the external facade, which so many of us do, right? We're we're taught in society that
00:03:07
Speaker
Well, we should, what one in one, we should trust society, right? They're the ones that dictate what we should look like, what fashion is at that season of our life and and what is popular.
Materialism to Faith: A Personal Reflection
00:03:20
Speaker
So I tried to fit in with society for most of my life until I couldn't because when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I realized that all that time spent trying to fit into a box that I never should have been in. it meant nothing because all the bags that I was carrying, all the materialism that I coveted and all the external beauty was about to be washed away. And the only tenant that I really could stand on was something that was eternal and that was hope. And I quickly realized because everything I coveted was being taken away, that there had to be something that I was missing.
00:03:59
Speaker
something that I was not coveting that was really the answer and that was faith. And I wasn't coveting that and I wasn't spending time doing that or participating as much as I should have and ultimately that was all I had. So I went back to really being a firm believer in faith and hope and that's why I'm still here. I love that. That that is so important because I think sometimes we miss that aspect and we physical you know we focus on that physical part but we don't focus on that emotional and spiritual aspect as well. Well, and I think for me, because i model ah I started modeling at such a young age, I miss those years of learning self-care and self-love. I miss those nurturing years that so often happens between you know being a teenager and young adulthood.
00:04:47
Speaker
It's just kind of a natural process. But again, I was so fixated in the industry that I was working in. And not to blame the industry. It was my decision to be in the industry. It was my decision to be successful in that industry and focus on that. And whatever we focus on, we become. So if I was focusing focusing on being 120 pounds and blonde hair and certainly you know a certain figure and you know all the other things that come with it, then my focus is going to be on external. If my focus is was on spirituality, I would have had a different life. And so what we focus on, we become. And i I attribute that to a lot of my survival now, because I'm focused on the right things. I'm focused on serving people without any sort of transaction. I think so often our world teaches us that if we do something for somebody, they should do something for us. prescribed to that anymore. I did prescribe that for a long time because that was taught to me in the modeling space. um A photographer would say to me,
00:05:47
Speaker
If you do this job for me, I'll get you in with this other client." And I thought, well, this is how the world works. I can do that. And then again, when you're diagnosed with an illness or breast implant illness or breast cancer or both or other illnesses, you realize that the transaction is not important. It's who shows up for you and how you show up for other people, but it's not transactional. Thank you, k Christine. I love hearing that because, you know, there's so there's so much in the breast and plant illness community right now. And, you know, these women, they just need that focus and to know that they're loved. They just need that connection. And I'm having a really hard time trying to figure out how to unify. And I love hearing that you are doing that you're trying to unify us as women.
00:06:39
Speaker
And um thinking about
The Power of Storytelling in Healing
00:06:42
Speaker
us loving ourselves and having that self esteem and then giving to others, right? That is just, that is so important. It's such a ah wonderful aspect to focus on. And I know that you'd gone through a lot of pain, you know, during cancer and having you know other people having to take care of you. What was your lowest moment um during that time? um Well, one thing I will say about unifying and unifying is beautiful we we unify by storytelling.
00:07:12
Speaker
That is the whole purpose of what I'm doing. That is the whole purpose of this podcast. That is the whole purpose of being a social media influencer. That is the whole purpose of writing my book. That is the whole purpose of the movie. Because if we can share in a very vulnerable way, our deepest and darkest moments, which I'll share in a moment what mine was, then we are offering to the world unity so that they don't feel so alone in their journey. But I would say my darkest moment was my cancer diagnosis. i had just been i I had just spent a year in and out of the doctor's office dealing with an arm situation that ultimately led to the fusion of my right arm, which was in 2011. It's now 2024, and I'm still in chronic pain from that.
00:07:56
Speaker
i was in the so oh it's it's a tragic story oh very sorry and i was in the I was in a hotel in New York City and for the whole year prior to my cancer diagnosis, I was using liquid soap and pouring it over my shoulder because I had a cast on from my fingertips to my shoulder. And so it was almost impossible to to take a bath bar and wash my body to get it clean. And so I would just use liquid soap. Well, I was in this hotel in New York and there was no liquid soap. So I took, I fumbled with this bar of soap and I tried to wash my breasts and I found a lump in the, in the shower in New York city, when I was up in New York city for my six week post arm fusion appointment. And I thought, well, this is some kind of hell I have cause now I'm 41.
00:08:44
Speaker
You're so old, I have two young kids and I got to figure out how to go the rest of my life. I didn't even know I was going to be in chronic pain at that point, but the rest of my life with a fused right arm, I have no idea how I'm going to lift my kids you know ah bags anymore of their sporting events. How am I going to do yoga? How am I going to cook and how am I going to drive? I had no idea. And then five days later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. And at that point, I also didn't trust the medical community because this doctor had really Really, ah disappointing is not the right word. It really let me down. He was a bully. He had this God complex, this ego. And I was taught as a young girl, as a young woman to trust the medical world. I mean, that's, you know, my grandfather was a doctor. He started a children's hospital. We had a lot of doctors in our family and they were revered. That's what society tells us, right? We put them on a pedestal. Well, these are people. Exactly. They make human error, just like all of us.
00:09:42
Speaker
And so I had just gone off of that year with this really difficult human being in the medical world and I just didn't trust doctors at that point. So here I was being diagnosed with breast cancer and I had to get an oncologist and I had to get a plastic surgeon and I had to get a gynecological oncologist and I had nurses and and on and on and on and I was like, I don't really want to talk to any of you. I don't really like you right now. I don't like myself. I don't like anybody in the world because you let me down. you you know You taught me to covet things that didn't matter and now I'm really confused. And I felt very little hope. I felt this emotional emotional paralysis. And when you're in emotional paralysis, you can't move forward. There's no way out.
00:10:30
Speaker
And so I just smothered myself in this self-pity, in this victim mode, right? That's emotional paralysis. You're a victim. I was like, how is this happening to me? Why did this happen to me? Why did I let this doctor bully me? Why did I... du it ah And it's also self-blame. I wasn't to blame for what the doctor did to me. That wasn't my fault. And so I was in this paralysis, emotional paralysis, I was in this victim mode. And the only thing that dug me out were my friends. They would come to me and say, we will never forsake you. God will never forsake you. And I thought to myself, why?
00:11:08
Speaker
Why will they never forsake me? This is the third season they had to carry me so far. This isn't until the breast implant illness was later. I was like, why would they give up their resources and their time and their family to take care of mine? I can't even do anything for that. And I suddenly realized that all this transaction was is was just in my head. It didn't have to be that way. These women wanted nothing from me other than to love me. They were the hands and the feet of the Lord.
Finding Joy through Service
00:11:38
Speaker
And so I started to get out of this paralysis, this emotional paralysis, because they showed up in my life. There were like this crusade of women who were shoring me forward until I could shore for myself. I couldn't care for myself right then, especially emotionally.
00:11:54
Speaker
And they were my guides to get me out of this. And then once I was out of it, they said, you have a responsibility now. Now it's your job to do what we did. And I have taken that very seriously. I have spent the last 12 years of my life serving every single woman I possibly could because I remember the depth of my pain. And man, I wanted to quit. I wanted my life to be over. I was like, I have had it with life. We are not friends anymore. We don't get along anymore. I am so confused. And once I get out of that, dug instead of digging a hole, I dug myself out of it, I realized that I could be a vine. And when you become a vine, your life changes because serving is joy.
00:12:36
Speaker
I had great happiness in my life prior to all of my illness, but joy comes from serving. And when you have the ability to serve other people by using your story or using your terrible circumstances to make sure that other people don't feel alone, that's serving and that's pure joy. Thank you. I needed i needed to hear that today. Thank you. Because you know the the service that I try to do in my life, you know and it always uplifts me. And just manifesting that and hearing that from you just brings me joy. So thank you. I i appreciate that. I needed that. you know It's a privilege. I know people who who will say to me, do you have any survivor's guilt? Absolutely not.
00:13:24
Speaker
And I'm not dismissing how they feel. Everybody feels how they feel, and that's their that's inside of them. I don't feel guilty for being on this earth. i feel i God has a purpose for me, and until my purpose is done, I am here to do a job. There's no guilt in that. The only the the worst emotions and the ones we don't need are shame and despair. We don't need them. So we got to get rid of them. If they come into their life, remember those are not from God. They are not meant to be here. We have to get rid of those. Replace those. and Instead of despair, find hope. Instead of shame, find, be a vine. Be a be serve serve. Serve the world. There's nothing shameful about being you.
00:14:12
Speaker
I love that. and And it's so true. And I think we miss that, right? we don't We don't think about that. We think about all the other things. We don't think about serving. And it does. It brings so much joy. Thank you. Well, there's a difference between serving and self-serving, right? I mean, for years. Right. But I know the difference because I did it. I self-served for a long time. But that was when I felt very, ah that was when I had a very low self-esteem. When I had a very low self-esteem as a young woman, and probably in the biggest modeling jobs I ever had, I had the worst self-esteem. And i that was when I was going through a very self-serving stage of my life. Like, OK, I want to covet this. I want to buy this. I want to consume this. right Because I felt bad about myself. I was trying to fill myself up with things. But there's no you-all behind the hearse. We can't take them.
00:15:01
Speaker
So instead of filling myself up with material things, I start filling myself up with people in relationships and giving back. It's different. I love that. That's that's so inspiring.
The Inspiration and Impact of Her Book
00:15:17
Speaker
and i know i just So if if you don't mind, I'd love to talk a little bit about your book. i when i So I purchased it and I thought, okay, this is like a 318 page book.
00:15:34
Speaker
And I'm like, okay, can I get through this? And my husband, you know, I was reading it took me one day, I didn't put it down, I could not stop reading it. I the main character Willow, I connected with her and all of the the things that she was going through, you know, her darkest thoughts, because when I had cancer, and I had breast implant illness and I was paralyzed. I just remember thinking these very deep, dark, hopeless thoughts. And you know am I going to live? Am I going to continue to be here? And then am I going to be able to take care of my family? And all of those emotions were going on as I was reading your book. And I i was going along with the story. I'm like, oh my gosh, this this relates to me. This is what something I went through. and
00:16:23
Speaker
And it was so healing. By the time I got to the end of the book, I had so much gratitude in my heart for the people that had helped me. And then, of course, for God getting me through what I went through because it was, you know, and what the character and what you went through. And he does. He gets you through it. And it was just, it was a very healing experience. So please, I want you to tell us a little bit about your book and and share you know why you decided what inspired you to write it. Yeah. Well, I wrote it because when I was going through breast cancer, I sought out, this will come up with a movie too, we sought out media, sought out books about what I was about to embark on. I was so fearful.
00:17:09
Speaker
But if I could read about it and I could read a story that somebody lived, I could read or watch a movie about a cancer breast cancer patient that walked off the set and they were alive and they were goingnna they were happy. Those are the things that I wanted to watch. Because I was young, I didn't have any contemporaries that had breast cancer. The only person I knew that had breast cancer was my mother's best friend and she died. And so I was seeking out stories of hope, right? That's unifying. That's like making us feel less alone. And so people gifted me beautiful books, faith-based books, faith-based books, self-esteem books, self-help books, beautiful books. But none of them were a fictional depiction of a story that I was about to go through.
From Book to Film: Expanding Hope
00:17:51
Speaker
So I watched my friends show up month after month. I went through 15 months of chemotherapy and I was like,
00:17:57
Speaker
watching at the same time, that was probably the height of the housewives of every city now. And I was thinking to myself, why is everywhere I'm looking in society tearing women down? And why is the community around me shoring me forward? What's the difference? Well, we the world isn't showing that, right? That's not what we're showing to the world. So what if I wrote a book about that? What if I showed women championing for for each other and saving a life? Would that matter? And would that allow somebody who's come after me to have a guide of a story of hope and survival? And so I started to take meticulous notes during my journey. And and really, my my goal was to write a book about a hopeful story.
00:18:45
Speaker
And so then after it was published, i you know people were saying the same thing. They read it in a day and they were very touched by it because they had similar experiences, which propelled me to do more. i want Then I became a public speaker. Then I went on social media to be part of the social media club that's actually bears witness to hope and bears witness to ah promoting a ah positive message. And then ultimately, i my book was bought to become a film and and that has taken over the last six and a half, more maybe more now years of my life because I thought, wow, okay, if I can share this message in a book and I can share this message on a stage and I can share this message in social media and on podcasts and on interviews,
00:19:33
Speaker
what kind of What kind of storytelling, what kind of uniting can happen if it's in a film? And so that's what that's ultimately the greatest goal that I've had and it's coming to fruition. Just need a little bit of help right now with God to get it out there and off we go. Well, i I believe in what you're doing. this that We need this. you know And i I really think that God's going to make this work because this is exactly what we need, especially as women ah you know in the breast cancer and breast implant illness and and these difficult illnesses that women go through. We need to unite. And yeah so thank you for doing this. I mean, oh my goodness, all this work.
00:20:19
Speaker
reading everything that you've accomplished. I'm like, oh my goodness, this woman went back to Harvard. She's a movie producer. She's, you know, a philanthropist. She's got like two or three different, you know, nonprofit organizations. I'm like, wow, you are doing so much. Plus that with the modeling and, you know, having to having this having your arm hurt all the time and you're still there helping others. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Encouragement really helps.