Transcript
Speaker: So that's how I want to start this off.
Speaker: What is your Starbucks order?
Speaker: Currently, most recently.
Speaker: So anyone who knows me knows I'm not a coffee person.
Speaker: So I'll go to any coffee shop and I will look for the juice, like the juice or a fruity thing.
Speaker: I'm sure they have – I don't know if it's the same recipe because it's like this drink that in the States was really popular on TikTok, like by the TikTok girlies for a moment, and it's the pink drink at Starbucks.
Speaker: Here I know it's basically –
Speaker: strawberry something and coconut milk and I love it that sounds great that sounds really good it's refreshing it's light it's just delightful I love it and sometimes I put little like strawberry bits in it so it's that and then I'll get here my favorite thing at the Starbucks in the Philippines is that they have a spam cheese sandwich it's like spam and cheese with this softer than like bagel bread I love spam spam is like a core food group for me
Speaker: I've never had it.
Speaker: I get that.
Speaker: But like for no reason.
Speaker: I just like it's never – I didn't even know it was really that much of a thing until I think I honestly saw like a movie based in Hawaii and they were – oh, you know what I think was my introduction to it was 50 First Dates with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore where she has short-term memory.
Speaker: Yeah, I love that movie.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Probably because they're in Hawaii, right?
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: I love spam.
Speaker: Spam is, I mean, Filipinos love spam and we love spam because the Americans brought it to us when they were...
Speaker: What do you call it?
Speaker: Like occupying us?
Speaker: Gosh, my history is so bad.
Speaker: But anyway, that's why like – I remember in like history class because the city that my dad's from that we live in that's outside the capital, there's an American base here or like previously it was an American base.
Speaker: And I remember my history teacher telling me how like –
Speaker: sometimes on Sundays, like the Americans would just have like buckets of canned goods, specifically like spam, and they would give it out to the locals.
Speaker: And so listen, don't quote me on that, guys.
Speaker: I don't know if that's the historically accurate version of why spam is so big in the Philippines, but that's what I remember my history teacher telling me.
Speaker: And I just, I love spam.
Speaker: I love spam.
Speaker: And then when I moved to LA, I realized it's like
Speaker: quite an Asian thing.
Speaker: Like I would tell people that and some people would be like spam is disgusting.
Speaker: I'm like, but is it the same thing as hot dogs?
Speaker: Tell me now.
Speaker: Dropping some hard truths.
Speaker: Is it?
Speaker: See, it like never – the thought of what's in it never really bothered me.
Speaker: I know that it's, you know, it's just like you said, like hot dog is like you kind of know what's in there, but you also kind of just accept that you don't know what's in there.
Speaker: And the things that I've seen made with it look really good.
Speaker: And even there's like some of the like sushis.
Speaker: I don't know if it's exactly sushi, but it's like it has spams.
Speaker: They're like musubis.
Speaker: Oh, is that what it is?
Speaker: They're so good.
Speaker: Yeah, that looks good.
Speaker: That looks good to me.
Speaker: But I know I've just – I've never had it.
Speaker: And honestly, I totally would.
Speaker: Like if I was in a country that actually ate it, used it in meals, I would totally – I would absolutely eat it.
Speaker: But like getting it in the States, something about it feels odd, which like I get that technically Hawaii is part of the 50 – or part of the US.
Speaker: But I'm like –
Speaker: Is it though?
Speaker: I think it's its own.
Speaker: I would say it's its own place.
Speaker: And I would totally have it there too.
Speaker: You know, I get you because I know what you're saying and it just feels like, well, I get it all the time because I just love spam.
Speaker: I always joke with people.
Speaker: I'm like, this is one of the things I can cook.
Speaker: It's not cooking.
Speaker: It's just frying it.
Speaker: But I get it.
Speaker: Like if you're in a grocery store and you have so many options to make like a real meal and you're out here like getting spam.
Speaker: Like, let me just say this.
Speaker: Me grocery shopping in Arizona for spam is a cry for help, okay?
Speaker: Yeah, it just doesn't make sense.
Speaker: It just doesn't make sense.
Speaker: It's a different vibe.
Speaker: It's a different vibe.
Speaker: What's your Starbucks order?
Speaker: I don't have one.
Speaker: I don't have one.
Speaker: I honestly don't like Starbucks.
Speaker: I used to.
Speaker: Like, I'm not above it.
Speaker: I used to work there.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: You used to work there.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like I loved it.
Speaker: I totally loved it.
Speaker: I don't know if it is because my taste buds have changed or if something with their quality has changed, but it's like for so often, so many times at multiple different locations and multiple different times, I would order a drink, which is usually like, what do they have?
Speaker: Their brown sugar.
Speaker: Like I would get, I think, a almond milk, brown sugar, decaf latte or something.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: And I also would try just a regular Pikes Place, a decaf Pikes Place with just cream and two pumps vanilla or something like that.
Speaker: It didn't matter what drink I got from them.
Speaker: If it was coffee-based, I did not like it.
Speaker: It just felt like really watered down.
Speaker: It didn't feel like it had any flavor.
Speaker: It didn't taste like it had any flavor to me.
Speaker: And yeah, just slowly but surely, Starbucks actually started to gross me out.
Speaker: And I think also because we would –
Speaker: we would get Starbucks on road trips and it would be, you know, kind of like desolate Starbucks.
Speaker: And then we'd get something like an egg sandwich.
Speaker: And I'd just be like, I don't know, man.
Speaker: Like it just, it like, it just, it just did not hit the same.
Speaker: And again, I don't know if it's just something has changed with their quality or if my taste buds have changed.
Speaker: But when I was 24, I would say probably gosh, from high school to age, um,
Speaker: 32 loved Starbucks.
Speaker: Like I loved, loved Starbucks.
Speaker: I was a pumpkin spice latte girl.
Speaker: But my drink order that I used to get was hot.
Speaker: It was a hot latte.
Speaker: I think
Speaker: I think I did soy at the time and then I switched to almond milk.
Speaker: But if I were to be like really luxurious with it, I would get a grande soy white mocha with two pumps white mocha, not the full four because the white mocha is super sweet.
Speaker: And then two pumps cinnamon dolce.
Speaker: And it was like a Cinnabon.
Speaker: It was like a warm Cinnabon latte.
Speaker: That sounds delightful.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I think I'm going to go back when I'm editing this and write it down and get that.
Speaker: It's really good.
Speaker: I don't think I've tried it iced, which is like nowadays I used to be a hot coffee girly, which is kind of interesting to me.
Speaker: Very much an iced coffee girly these days, these years.
Speaker: But the way that I even learned about it was this guy came into the Starbucks and he was like,
Speaker: I were ordering his drink and I said, oh my gosh, that sounds really good because he ordered that.
Speaker: And he goes, thanks.
Speaker: I call up my boyfriend because it's the only man that sticks around in my life.
Speaker: And I was like, nice.
Speaker: Reliable.
Speaker: Reliable.
Speaker: Never disappoints.
Speaker: What we're really looking for.
Speaker: I'll tell you though, any coffee lover I've spoken to like across the board, they like say Starbucks is shit.
Speaker: like the quality of their coffee is bad.
Speaker: Like anybody who actually cares knows it's not great.
Speaker: And I'm not even like – I think that's saying so much because I'm not even a coffee person.
Speaker: Like I don't even really like love coffee, but I just don't – I won't get Starbucks.
Speaker: And I'm also I think part of the minority that loves making my coffee at home.
Speaker: I love being able to make it exactly the way that I want it.
Speaker: And I know there's a lot of people that are like –
Speaker: At home coffee is sad coffee, but I love it.
Speaker: I only feel passionate about that because like, again, I'm not a coffee girl.
Speaker: So like I never made it part of my routine.
Speaker: But for my sister, it's like her thing.
Speaker: She's like, this is the thing I wake up for every day for my little like coffee or matcha that I'm going to make myself.
Speaker: And it looks pretty good.
Speaker: Matcha.
Speaker: Oh, I got you.
Speaker: I know we've talked about this, but I feel like you would be a matcha person.
Speaker: I am.
Speaker: I got this decaf matcha, which I was so excited about because it was, I mean, it was kind of pricey.
Speaker: Like it was for a tin, a little tin thing.
Speaker: I think it was $50.
Speaker: And yeah, I was kind of pricey, but I thought about it and it was like, okay, if it's $50, I'm able to make,
Speaker: like 20 cups of coffee.
Speaker: That's around.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: The math.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Or 20 cups of matcha.
Speaker: It's like around $2 a drink or whatever.
Speaker: So yeah,
Speaker: I did do the girl math on that.
Speaker: So yesterday we were going to record and both of us were like, today's not the day.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And this is, so it's the day after.
Speaker: And I hope, I know for me, I'm like, I'm kind of going out like it's Thursday evening for me, which is typically my Friday.
Speaker: I have a couple more things for work.
Speaker: So I'll probably hop on.
Speaker: tomorrow to do just like a few things here and there.
Speaker: But I'm just like, today was a day.
Speaker: Today was full.
Speaker: Today was, it was full for things like personally, it was full for things professionally.
Speaker: Not only was the day just incredibly full, but then ER and I even went and saw a financial advisor for life insurance.
Speaker: So we just like had that whole conversation.
Speaker: So it has been such a full day and I'm elated to be, that this is the last thing on my day.
Speaker: I'm so excited.
Speaker: And also, I'm like, oh, this is the last one for a while for you and I. I didn't even think about that.
Speaker: It's going to be a little while.
Speaker: I didn't even draw a spot.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: It was like, ooh, chaos.
Speaker: And I also, this morning, recorded the one with Brie.
Speaker: I did the body and breath program.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I went and saw her for a Reiki session, and then normally we debrief there, but I was like, hold that thought.
Speaker: I'm going to run home so we can start the podcast and we can talk about it there.
Speaker: So yeah, we did the episode today.
Speaker: How did it go?
Speaker: How did you feel?
Speaker: It was, I felt like, I honestly forgot that I was recording the podcast.
Speaker: I felt like I was just talking to Brie.
Speaker: And then it started to click with me where I was like, you are the host of this podcast.
Speaker: You need to be like, you need to be hosting it because it's just so easy to talk to her.
Speaker: But I was like, and I do like just having conversations like you and I do too.
Speaker: But I also was thinking like, okay, try and think about
Speaker: if you're listening in right now, what question might you have for Brie?
Speaker: Ask those questions.
Speaker: And so, yeah, that was, it was just fun.
Speaker: And it was really, and it was also really fun to receive my, like the download of the session on the podcast.
Speaker: Cause I was also like, Oh God, I don't know what's going to come up.
Speaker: I don't know what you're going to share.
Speaker: And she even said, she was like, you sure?
Speaker: And I was like,
Speaker: The fact that you said, are you sure, makes me a little concerned.
Speaker: But I was like, yes, I can edit it if need be.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: You have full control.
Speaker: But that would be – you're like, that's not exactly the comforting thing I wanted to hear going into like you sharing it.
Speaker: But like, thank you.
Speaker: And then she goes, she goes, well, it will be authentic.
Speaker: I was like, wait, what happened?
Speaker: What does that mean?
Speaker: What did you see?
Speaker: What happened?
Speaker: But it actually, it was really, really good.
Speaker: Like I'm excited for people to hear the session download in real time and,
Speaker: Yeah, it was fun.
Speaker: It was really fun.
Speaker: And I'm excited to talk to Peter more too, especially because I spoke more with him about like, hey, I don't want to just jump on the podcast and be like, religion's awesome and spirituality, everyone should be spiritual or spirituality is easy or like also just be Christian because like he's of the Christian background.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I was telling him some qualms that I have with religion.
Speaker: And I was like, are you okay to like have this honest conversation where I do bring up these like questions, comments, concerns?
Speaker: And he just handled it so, so beautifully.
Speaker: And then I actually told him, we ended up having an hour-long conversation.
Speaker: And I said, Peter, we cannot talk anymore.
Speaker: This all needs to be on the podcast.
Speaker: We have to stop talking.
Speaker: Like it was – yeah, it was so good.
Speaker: So –
Speaker: Even just that conversation was great and I'm really excited to have him on the podcast too.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: Well, I mean, FOMO again, but I'm so excited.
Speaker: I am so, so excited and you are a wonderful host.
Speaker: I have no doubt in my mind that you fucking killed it.
Speaker: Killed it.
Speaker: Thanks, babe.
Speaker: I thought about it today and I was like, I'm nervous to record with somebody else because I'm just
Speaker: I feel like we're such cheerleaders for one another.
Speaker: So then I feel, I'm like, wow, I'm really good at what I do.
Speaker: Cause you're on the other end.
Speaker: Like you're so good at what you do.
Speaker: And like, you're such a good host, you know, all these things where I'm like, oh my gosh.
Speaker: So I was like, well, I do okay.
Speaker: If somebody isn't like cheering me on listening and they're like the toxic positivity of these two.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: We're living out our Delulu.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Embody.
Speaker: Embody it.
Speaker: Who else is going to enable that?
Speaker: Listen, you will also tell me.
Speaker: You'll keep it real too.
Speaker: I wrote down – so I was telling Cass that like I don't – no topic was like coming to me and I was thinking on it.
Speaker: I was ruminating on it.
Speaker: I was thinking about it when I was on my walks.
Speaker: I was – when I was reading my book, I was paying attention to things in there and actually I probably should get my book because there were a couple of things that I read where I was like, oh, that would be really good to talk to you about.
Speaker: But –
Speaker: The other thing is normally Cass and I share what the topic is going to be and we share a little notes app to jot down ideas or questions or whatever.
Speaker: Cass has no idea what she's getting into right now.
Speaker: But I told her that I wanted it to be a fun episode because like sending you off on your summer vacay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Well, this is – it's like define fun, right?
Speaker: That's pretty much what I should have started with.
Speaker: We did have a fun anxiety episode so maybe I should –
Speaker: taper down my expectations for fun.
Speaker: I think the bar is pretty low.
Speaker: It's pretty low, which, you know, then that means I can only go up from here.
Speaker: What's funny about that is one of the questions that I'm going to get to if we have time, but it's just going to be so funny, especially after now we just talked about the anxiety one.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: But starting it off, how do you fill your cup?
Speaker: How do I fill my cup?
Speaker: Firstly, sleep.
Speaker: Sleep is sacred to me.
Speaker: It's so important to me.
Speaker: Okay, two parts.
Speaker: First part, spending time alone.
Speaker: We talk about this a lot on the podcast, but truly spending time alone, like in quietness, in my bed, in my comfies, not worrying about my to-do list, just not even on my phone, but like with my dogs at ease, that fills my cup.
Speaker: And then secondly, it's spending time with friends.
Speaker: Like not even like – we don't have to be doing anything.
Speaker: But just like spending time with friends that feel like home because not that not all of my friends feel like home, but there are just some people in your life.
Speaker: My sisters and I were talking about this yesterday where it's like you leave –
Speaker: conversations or hangouts with them and you just feel at ease, better, lighter.
Speaker: And it's not necessarily because you had like a super heavy download or a heavy share or like a big debrief.
Speaker: There's just like some people in your life and I'm like, yeah, that's how I fill my cup.
Speaker: Like Danny's definitely one of those people.
Speaker: I'm like, your energy.
Speaker: But again, not to be toxic positivity.
Speaker: They're like, you guys are just so obsessed with each other.
Speaker: I'm like, yeah, that's why we made a podcast.
Speaker: That's why I made a podcast.
Speaker: I don't wanna say it's rare because that sounds so sad.
Speaker: It's not rare.
Speaker: I just think people, you'll find your people like that, that like instantly you're like, oh, energy aligned, energy soothing.
Speaker: And I was trying to explain to my sister yesterday, I'm like, that's not a judgment call.
Speaker: Like, I don't think you should approach all relationships expecting that from people because different people bring different things into your life.
Speaker: But for me, those relationships are the ones that fill my cup the most.
Speaker: I don't even have to show up to you and we don't have to talk about what are our goals for this year?
Speaker: How are we moving our goals forward?
Speaker: Like those are great conversations, but sometimes just being with a friend and talking about our road trip snacks or a Starbucks order.
Speaker: And it's not quote unquote productive, but I leave having filled my cup.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I really relate to your shares.
Speaker: And I think it's important to think about.
Speaker: I was on my walk and how this all came about was I was like, okay, figure out a topic.
Speaker: Figure out a topic.
Speaker: Like you have to just come up with something.
Speaker: Come up with something.
Speaker: And I was like, I can't.
Speaker: I'm tapped.
Speaker: And then what came to my mind was I need to fill my cup.
Speaker: And then I thought, oh, I would really like to talk about that.
Speaker: Like how the importance of filling –
Speaker: how important it is to me to fill my cup and how somebody was mentioned this about how filling other people's cups can help fill theirs.
Speaker: And I thought that was such a good point because even in the analogy itself, it's, it's usually said, if, if you're the host serving everybody water, be sure to serve yourself water first.
Speaker: Cause like you need to be
Speaker: If you're going to act from a place of service, you have to first serve yourself.
Speaker: And I remember that being like, oh, that's a really good point.
Speaker: That helps me feel less selfish.
Speaker: And I've said this before on the podcast, but I'm going to say it again.
Speaker: There's a difference between being self-centered and being selfish.
Speaker: And being selfish can still be from a place of service.
Speaker: But also like helping someone else
Speaker: helps fill my cup.
Speaker: But I would say, yeah, there's pretty much anything that helps connect me to nature or being a human really fills my cup.
Speaker: So for instance, yesterday I did a takeover for Coastal Collective on our Instagram and I knew that I was going to do that and I planned my day for that and everything.
Speaker: I was expecting it.
Speaker: I was so drained yesterday from how much technology I was in front of.
Speaker: Because, you know, doing a story takeover means that you're on your phone.
Speaker: And I think just being at a computer can be really draining.
Speaker: But especially being from a phone, I find that to be extremely draining.
Speaker: And so, yeah, at the end of yesterday, I...
Speaker: was telling ER we were on our way to go meet my parents for dinner.
Speaker: And I said, I'm not tired.
Speaker: I'm drained.
Speaker: And I, that to me, that just like feels worse because it's like, I have like the want to hang out or the want to go do things, but I'm absolutely drained.
Speaker: And so what I decided to do is like, okay, how can I fill my cup?
Speaker: And so having a conversation with ER about anything that wasn't work-related, something that was more dedicated to dreams or goals or just like soul work, like what's on my heart today, and connecting more to my body, so getting out of my head and into my body, whether that's just sitting for a few minutes and thinking like, okay, how does my body feel?
Speaker: Not what am I thinking about, but like how does my body feel?
Speaker: Or moving my body, going for a walk, doing a workout, that really helps fill my cup as well.
Speaker: Being in Sunshine.
Speaker: And when we got to the restaurant, they were closed.
Speaker: And I mean, they were like, we just got there early before they opened.
Speaker: And so...
Speaker: ER said, do you want to go take a walk around?
Speaker: And I was already just going back to my phone because I had just like been on my phone all day and it was just like in this mindless rut.
Speaker: And I was kind of like, huh?
Speaker: Like very much a zombie.
Speaker: It was like lights on no one's home.
Speaker: And something just kind of like struck me and I thought, wait, I
Speaker: we should, let's just go for a little walk around and check out this, this area.
Speaker: And when we did, we found another restaurant that we want to try.
Speaker: We found this really cute shop that we ended up buying some gifts for my family.
Speaker: That's going to be visiting.
Speaker: We tried some olive oils with some bread and like we, we had a really nice 15, 20 minutes before the, the restaurant open.
Speaker: And then I got to be with my family and I could feel myself like, Oh, I'm coming back to being a human.
Speaker: I think the autopilot-ness of it all can be really sneaky.
Speaker: Like exactly what I shared about how I was on my phone all day long.
Speaker: I had already verbally said, I don't, I'm, I feel drained from the technology.
Speaker: And then I just went like, whoop, right back into looking at my phone.
Speaker: It's like, oh my gosh.
Speaker: But yeah, I think it's just important to know what
Speaker: I'll speak for myself.
Speaker: I think it's important to know what fills my cup because I am such a better person.
Speaker: I'm a more patient.
Speaker: I'm a more kind.
Speaker: I'm a more...
Speaker: understanding joyful person when I'm able to fill my cup and usually filling my cup doesn't take long and it doesn't take a lot of effort and it doesn't take usually doesn't take like money monetary things it's just like things that are already around me so you heard how I how I know like what indicators that my cup is running low but what are what are they for you
Speaker: When I'm tired and I feel – Overwhelmed is not the word I'm looking for.
Speaker: When I feel like everything is happening all at once because I know everything's not happening all at once.
Speaker: I know the way I process things is always like step by step.
Speaker: What can be done now?
Speaker: What can be done later?
Speaker: Nothing – 90% of the time, I now know I'm not an urgent person.
Speaker: My sense of urgency is not – I know where to apply that sense of urgency because
Speaker: But I've noticed that when I'm frazzled and when someone sends like something like client work, maybe like something fell through the cracks or something, the deadline is moving up.
Speaker: And when I feel like it's like all encompassing and it's all overwhelming, that's when I know I haven't made time to fill my cup.
Speaker: Because then I'm like worrying about all these other things and I feel like my plate is like it's too heavy.
Speaker: And I'm like, no, when you take a step back, take a deep breath and you like fill your cup in one of those different ways.
Speaker: Sometimes I just need to rest.
Speaker: I need to talk to a friend.
Speaker: And then I come back to whatever I'm dealing with in my life.
Speaker: I'm like, oh, it's all okay.
Speaker: It's okay.
Speaker: It's okay to feel that way.
Speaker: The overwhelm is totally welcome and it's like normal.
Speaker: And then it's okay to step back and be like, wait a second.
Speaker: You have space to breathe.
Speaker: None of this, none of this is going to drown you.
Speaker: It never is.
Speaker: You just feel that way.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It is kind of wild to me how as soon as I start making a list of things that are in my head where I'm like, oh, I have to do this.
Speaker: I have to do that.
Speaker: I have to do that.
Speaker: How I'm able to just gain the perspective of it.
Speaker: And that's what it sounded like for you is that filling your cup or when things feel out of perspective, that's like an indicator that I can really relate to that.
Speaker: I feel that share.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: This is the one, this is what I was going to ask that feels really funny because I'm like, this is a fun episode.
Speaker: And how do you stop a shame spiral?
Speaker: Oh, as she laughs.
Speaker: This is fun.
Speaker: I think you and I should revisit what fun means to you.
Speaker: That is such a good question because I have not, I feel it's very recent that
Speaker: reflecting on what role shame plays a part in my thinking and my mind has only been recent.
Speaker: It's only entered my process very recently, thinking about shame.
Speaker: Well, first I have to start with thinking what things or what thoughts do I bring about feelings of shame for me?
Speaker: I guess for me, it always just comes down to reminding myself that I know myself the best.
Speaker: Because for me personally, I think shame usually comes from maybe not living up to people's expectations or being worried about people judging me a certain way or doing something or living my life in a way that other people are not aligned with or not doing enough or guilt like
Speaker: Those are things that bring about feelings of shame for me or I think trigger like little spirals of shame.
Speaker: But then I remind myself, I mean, it's been a long journey, but it's just that I know myself the best.
Speaker: You know, like I've said previously, it's not my job to explain myself to people.
Speaker: It's not my like and I don't mean in a way like, oh, if we're having conflict, I'm not going to explain my actions to a person that I love and care about.
Speaker: But I mean, it's not my job to explain who I am to people.
Speaker: You know, so that's kind of what helps me stop a shame spiral where I and then I step back to and for me, I don't think that spiral is a productive thought.
Speaker: Like it's not a productive moment for me.
Speaker: And that's my biggest thing where I'm like, are these feelings going to move you forward in the way we've talked about how anxiety can sometimes be a signal to you to do something differently or change something that you're doing right now?
Speaker: Because why are you feeling that way?
Speaker: For me, shame.
Speaker: It almost feels a little bit self-indulgent.
Speaker: And so I think that's why I get out of it because I'm like, okay, but are you feeling shame because you just kind of want to mope about yourself or not take accountability or like worrying about what people think or how these actions are going to affect those people?
Speaker: And then I step out of it.
Speaker: I'm like, first of all, none of those thoughts are productive because you're not going to change who you are.
Speaker: Like I'm not going to change my actions based on how they're going to be perceived or received or how it's going to affect the way people think about me.
Speaker: And so that's how I snap out of it.
Speaker: I know that's not – I think that's hard when it's emotional.
Speaker: Like I don't want people to feel like, okay, but sometimes like you just feel a lot of shame and it's rooted in this way and it's like easy for you to just say snap out of it.
Speaker: But that's how I do it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: No, that's so – I really – thank you for sharing, Cass, baby.
Speaker: I was asking because I experienced two recently –
Speaker: One, we were hiking and we were just, you know, kind of in the middle of nowhere.
Speaker: And I was like, oh man, I really have to pee.
Speaker: And you know, for us women, we have to just fully de-pants ourselves and just squat on the ground like a barbarian.
Speaker: And I looked around and ER was scouting ahead for me, just, you know,
Speaker: And so I was just sitting there peeing.
Speaker: And then I hear laughter.
Speaker: And I was like, what is happening?
Speaker: And I turn around and there's three women and also an entire trail of people.
Speaker: Like I had, there was no one on that part of the trail.
Speaker: So we didn't see that that was a trail.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: It was, it was, it was one that crosses a wash and we were in the wash.
Speaker: So we didn't see like,
Speaker: Yeah, there was just a full-blown trail.
Speaker: So there's these grown women that are just laughing, and then I hear one of them say, oh my gosh, we've got to take a picture, take a picture.
Speaker: And so I'm, like, pulling up my pants really quick, and I was so embarrassed, just, like, unbelievably embarrassed.
Speaker: And I did one of these, like, hey, like, I know that you saw me, and, like...
Speaker: I can't believe that their initial reaction was to take a photo, though.
Speaker: And I think, like, they honestly, because you could hear their conversation.
Speaker: I don't know if you've ever experienced this before in nature, but when someone's really far away, but because of the acoustics of, like, the canyon or whatever, you can hear them really well.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So you could hear their conversation.
Speaker: They honestly seem like a hoot.
Speaker: Like they seemed like really fun women to be around.
Speaker: And I think they were just like joking, like, Oh my gosh, you should have taken a picture.
Speaker: I think one of them was like visiting and they had taken them on this hike.
Speaker: And then this woman got more than she bargained for, obviously.
Speaker: But then, then there were like other people, you know, and I don't know if those people saw me and I just, I was so embarrassed and I could just feel it in my body, like feel the heat in my, my face.
Speaker: And I
Speaker: I was like, oh, okay.
Speaker: And I wasn't even saying anything really.
Speaker: ER had no idea.
Speaker: I was just kind of like, well, I think those people saw me peeing.
Speaker: And so they saw my butt and there's that.
Speaker: And...
Speaker: He was also surprised.
Speaker: He was like, I was guarding your front.
Speaker: I had no idea that that was back there.
Speaker: I was like, I know.
Speaker: I don't think you like set me up for that.
Speaker: But what I noticed is like an hour in, I was still thinking about it.
Speaker: And I was, I was just like, I'm so ashamed that people saw my butt.
Speaker: I'm so ashamed that people saw me peeing like in nature.
Speaker: I was at such a vulnerable point.
Speaker: And I started to think more about it.
Speaker: Like,
Speaker: at what point will I stop feeling embarrassed by this?
Speaker: At what point will I stop feeling shame about this?
Speaker: And I thought, okay, I think it's pretty much up to me.
Speaker: Like I get to decide when I want to change this trajectory or when I want to change this continuation of, of shame.
Speaker: And so I thought more about, um,
Speaker: Okay, well, what was that?
Speaker: What really bothered me about that?
Speaker: And what it was is that I felt other than.
Speaker: I didn't feel a part of these other people on this trail.
Speaker: I felt like the person that was peeing that everybody could see and was like laughing at.
Speaker: And community is really big for me.
Speaker: Feeling a part of something is really big for me.
Speaker: And I really enjoy being out in nature and seeing other people.
Speaker: Like, I love going on my walks and seeing people and just having a conversation with them.
Speaker: That brings me so much joy.
Speaker: So I was thinking like, oh, I feel other than.
Speaker: And the other thing is I...
Speaker: just even everybody kept going you know like nobody was like stopping he confronted you and they're like why did you do that yeah like everybody just kept walking and even you know 20 minutes into it or whatever totally different people are walking by and I'm just feeling like everyone knows that I'm the girl in the canyon that was peeing and everybody saw her butt and I was like no one knows about this like you yeah
Speaker: This does not need to have a continuation.
Speaker: And so I was able to really let it go at that point.
Speaker: But otherwise, it was just kind of just spiraling.
Speaker: It was just like going on in the background until I was like, okay, you, I'm going to shine a light on you.
Speaker: And see what's really going on here.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That helped me contextualize shame so much more.
Speaker: And thank you for sharing.
Speaker: And also when you made that show, I'm like, oh, okay.
Speaker: Like now I feel like it's really stirring more recollections of experiences with shame with me.
Speaker: But yeah, another way I snap myself out of it is like then you get to that point at the bottom of the spiral, right, where you were passing other people.
Speaker: And then I have to remind myself, I'm like, okay, well, what's the worst that can happen?
Speaker: Is someone going to confront me right now and tell me off for peeing in the canyon?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: So you should not be feeling – you don't need to feel this bad for what happened and what you did because you didn't hurt anybody.
Speaker: You didn't do –
Speaker: anything.
Speaker: But when I think about shame, now it brings me back to when we first moved to the Philippines and we started school here.
Speaker: And we didn't go to an international school.
Speaker: We went to a private school, but it was not an international school.
Speaker: And my sisters and I, we did not grow up speaking Filipino.
Speaker: My dad did not teach us Filipino.
Speaker: We don't know the dialect from the place that he's from.
Speaker: So we were just like plopped into this high school where they did speak English.
Speaker: Like it was a school that taught in English, but all my classmates spoke Filipino.
Speaker: And I remember my first day I had to learn that this joke that Filipinos like to do is you'll be speaking to them and they'll be like, oh my God, nosebleed, nosebleed, nosebleed.
Speaker: I heard it the entire day.
Speaker: And I'm like, what is this nosebleed thing that people keep on saying when I speak to them?
Speaker: And the joke is that when someone's speaking too much English to them, like their nose is going to start bleeding because they get stressed by the English and they don't want to like speak English.
Speaker: And that set the tone for really everything for me because I'm like, okay, so it's not my fault, A, that I cannot speak Filipino.
Speaker: Also not my fault that this is my accent because I spent 12 years in America where I was born.
Speaker: So yeah, for like four years in high school, it was so shameful.
Speaker: I remember
Speaker: in our Filipino, we had Filipino as one of the like courses, whatever.
Speaker: So Filipino was part of it, right?
Speaker: And for Filipino, I, we would sit like at exams and finals and I would just wait.
Speaker: I would wait for like 30 minutes, could not comprehend anything in this test and really just wait out of like a few minutes until I could just like pass my paper and tell my teacher, I'm like, there's nothing I can answer here.
Speaker: So like,
Speaker: Give me whatever grade I'm going to give, but I don't want to do it.
Speaker: Like, there's really nothing I can do.
Speaker: And I really did have some lovely profs where they were like, Tess, like, let me help you.
Speaker: Like, let's see what you can answer here.
Speaker: Like, let me do whatever.
Speaker: But yeah, that was a huge source of shame for me.
Speaker: And I know my sisters felt it as well.
Speaker: And then it's just like a thing with Filipinos.
Speaker: They, like, make everything a joke, which I just –
Speaker: I hate so much.
Speaker: Like, I think I have a different type of sense of humor where for me, I never want the joke to be somebody.
Speaker: Like, I don't think people – Like, if you're funny, but it's at the cost of somebody or at the expense of somebody else, I just – Then you're not that funny, to be honest.
Speaker: Like, great.
Speaker: Very good point.
Speaker: You don't need to put people down to be funny.
Speaker: That's 100 – Yeah, I absolutely agree with that.
Speaker: That's, like, the core of Filipino humor.
Speaker: So –
Speaker: So that was a huge thing, yeah.
Speaker: And then I went to college and I moved to the city.
Speaker: And it was so ironic because you moved to Manila and I went to college with a lot of people from different backgrounds, but a lot of people from private schools in Manila and who were raised really privileged.
Speaker: And what was ironic was not everybody spoke Filipino either.
Speaker: And it was also something where like you would meet people and you kind of feel like they're proud that they don't know Filipino.
Speaker: And I felt – yeah, it's a thing where it's so strange.
Speaker: But you would meet people and they're like, oh, yeah, like my parents never spoke Filipino to me because blah, blah, because they just think they're above people because they don't know the language.
Speaker: And so I think that helped unblock that shame for me in a way.
Speaker: But then it also gave me more perspective where I'm like, you know, this thing that now the older I got and the more I became in touch with my Filipino side, I mean –
Speaker: I was really sad I didn't know that language.
Speaker: Like for me, it's not something to brag about that I can show up and I only speak English.
Speaker: Like I don't think that makes me quote unquote better or higher than anybody, you know what I mean?
Speaker: But that was the impression I would get from some people.
Speaker: And I thought, no, like I think it would be such a beautiful blessing to know that language and it helps me connect with other people.
Speaker: And so I think he was able to heal that trauma and that shame that I had fallen into in high school.
Speaker: That's a whole full circle experience.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's so cool.
Speaker: That's what that brought about for me.
Speaker: I'm like, oh, shame.
Speaker: Shame is real.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: And I feel like I don't really feel it that often.
Speaker: Like the fact that I was able to pinpoint two situations recently, that's kind of –
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I think, I don't know if there's like a correlation between when I, like, like a, an equation of like, this will lead me to feel shame.
Speaker: But the other, the other example that I have also does make me, it allowed me to feel,
Speaker: other than or not living up to someone's expectations.
Speaker: So what it was is I was walking Willow.
Speaker: And so she is doing pretty good on her walks, but every improvement isn't just a linear line that goes straight up.
Speaker: It's like it goes up and down and up and down.
Speaker: But if there's at least a common trajectory of it going up,
Speaker: then that's progress for me.
Speaker: So I think about that with her walks where sometimes we take her on a walk.
Speaker: I'm like, you're an angel.
Speaker: Like you did so good.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then there's other times where I'm like, oh my gosh, she'll like stop and go and stop and go and run and lay down and sit or like pull or jump, try to jump up on other people or just like, you know, she can have her walks where it's like that was a really good walk and other walks where it's like that was a little more rough.
Speaker: And I was having one of those that was a little more rough kind of walks with her.
Speaker: And a few neighbors saw me where I had to like pull her or say like, Willow, no, you know, and like scold her.
Speaker: And I think there were a couple of times where you could just tell that I was feeling exhausted by it.
Speaker: And I was just like, Willow, like I was just, yeah, I felt very...
Speaker: I guess just kind of naked.
Speaker: Like there was no filter.
Speaker: There was no sort of like protection.
Speaker: It was just like, I'm so frustrated with her that you are seeing a very vulnerable real side of me.
Speaker: And yeah, I, as I was going on the walk, I was just still feeling like irritated with Willow.
Speaker: And I was just like, God, like, this is so embarrassing.
Speaker: Like you're embarrassing me.
Speaker: And I was like, you're actually not like, you're just being a puppy and you're just learning.
Speaker: And I'm attaching the embarrassment to this.
Speaker: Like I can, I can change this.
Speaker: And I've read before in a book that as soon, like shame does not like to be named.
Speaker: It doesn't like to be called out because that really helps dissipate it.
Speaker: It likes to fester in ambiguity in
Speaker: secrets, like hiding things from people or not really like hiding things from people, but not shining a light on it.
Speaker: Like it wants to isolate.
Speaker: I've heard that before, like shame wants to isolate.
Speaker: And the moment you start, or I'll speak for myself, the moment that I start looking at it and identifying it and being like, this is the shame that I'm feeling and this is why I'm feeling it.
Speaker: it really starts to dissipate.
Speaker: And then also if I start sharing it with ER, like if ER was on that walk with me and I said something like, I'm just feeling really like embarrassed by how I've been conducting myself on this walk.
Speaker: And he would absolutely be like, babe, she's being a little shit.
Speaker: Like I'm frustrated too.
Speaker: And I, I think that's a really nice reminder for me that shame can't live with me outing it basically.
Speaker: Like, I think that unlocks also, like, how to process shame for me because another thing, I feel shame when I feel overexposed or super vulnerable.
Speaker: So, like, something so random that I think now...
Speaker: I blush super easily, but I didn't know that for a long time.
Speaker: I also generally have like a reddish face, so I think that's why I did not understand that.
Speaker: But I remember I was at this job, one of my first jobs in LA, and this coworker of mine, like she was older than me, so she had like kids and everything, and she's like, oh my gosh, look at you blushing.
Speaker: Like I just love when you do that.
Speaker: And I was like, when I do that, like I do it so often,
Speaker: And then I'm like, oh my God, I get bashful so easily.
Speaker: And so for me, that makes me feel uncomfortable for so many reasons.
Speaker: First of all, it's just like, it feels so revealing to me.
Speaker: I'm like, then do people think that I'm embarrassed by something they said or do they think I'm withholding something?
Speaker: And so now when people tell me like, oh my God, you're blushing, I hate it.
Speaker: I hate it so much.
Speaker: It makes my like skin crawl.
Speaker: And then I'll sit back and I'm like, but why do you feel shame about something you literally cannot control?
Speaker: Like I cannot control.
Speaker: And then like you said, when I further dig down, I'm like, it's because you just feel like you're exposing something that maybe you don't want to expose.
Speaker: Like I feel like there's another way of people understanding me where I can't control it by my words.
Speaker: I can't control it by my appearance.
Speaker: I can't control it by my action.
Speaker: It's just like there.
Speaker: Then when I think about that, it was like, you literally cannot control that.
Speaker: You cannot control that.
Speaker: You cannot control in general.
Speaker: You can't control how people understand you anyway.
Speaker: So why would I feel shame about something so physical?
Speaker: Well, honestly, I was thinking like, okay, rude to like my own body.
Speaker: Like rude.
Speaker: You don't need to be like out here.
Speaker: Why are you revealing me?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like, come on.
Speaker: It's kind of like if we were hanging out in a friend group and, you know, I shared something and then somebody who knows me really well was like, she's so embarrassed right now.
Speaker: Like, she's so embarrassed.
Speaker: Like, bro.
Speaker: I hate that.
Speaker: That's what, like, yeah.
Speaker: We don't need to have that.
Speaker: So for my own body to be like... And here's the other thing too.
Speaker: Blushing I think is associated with either embarrassment or feeling intimidated or shy or bashful or something.
Speaker: And I could see...
Speaker: feeling frustration because I also think that at the end of the day, what blushing just is, is, is blood.
Speaker: It's just blood.
Speaker: And that could be for so many reasons.
Speaker: Like I've literally, I don't, I don't blush, but I've literally been sitting outside with ER and I'll think about something.
Speaker: Actually, no, this is the, this is a way better example.
Speaker: And let me know if you've experienced this before.
Speaker: I'll be in bed and not hot, not sweating, nothing, but I will think of something that embarrassed me and I will get warm real fast.
Speaker: Like I, like I have to get the covers off me.
Speaker: I'll think of something that really stresses me out.
Speaker: Like, you know, whatever it might be.
Speaker: And I'm so hot under the covers.
Speaker: I have to take, like, I have to remove them.
Speaker: And so it's like there can be so many reasons for that flush, that rush.
Speaker: And the people just being like, oh, you're embarrassed or, you know, whatever.
Speaker: It's like, um, no.
Speaker: But like you might see me blushing.
Speaker: But then that makes me feel embarrassed.
Speaker: Like I'm not even embarrassed by whatever I was blushing about.
Speaker: I'm embarrassed by someone saying I'm embarrassed.
Speaker: Don't try and tell me how I'm feeling.
Speaker: No, no, but I've experienced that.
Speaker: I think that's also what people feel when you're like, you're lying in bed and like, do you ever just get hit with like a memory of something cringy you did like 10 years ago?
Speaker: And you're like, of course, that's when I had to like kick off the covers.
Speaker: I'm like, why, why did I behave in that way?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And you know what?
Speaker: I actually, I've heard people talk about this before and I feel like I don't get that that often.
Speaker: I don't get that feeling that often or not even like that often.
Speaker: I don't really, that doesn't really resonate with me as much as the whole like stress like comes up and I get really warm, but I have, I think like there are, there are specific moments that I can think of that were really embarrassing for me that I can think about and just be like,
Speaker: Oh, I can't think about this, right?
Speaker: Like, I have to let this go.
Speaker: I can't think about this.
Speaker: Same.
Speaker: I have to get out of this right now because what are you going to do?
Speaker: Go back 10 years and not be that way?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I'm like, this is my brain, okay?
Speaker: I can help make it think something else.
Speaker: Like, I don't need to keep kicking him.
Speaker: I don't need to keep playing, like, the real of this one.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: She just wants to participate.
Speaker: There you go.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like it's my brain.
Speaker: I don't need to have like the highlight reel of like, so this one was embarrassing.
Speaker: This one was even more embarrassing.
Speaker: But the other thing that I think about too, is like, I am not alone.
Speaker: I am not alone.
Speaker: I know there are other people out there that are like, Oh,
Speaker: my gosh, yes.
Speaker: I've thought of these embarrassing moments.
Speaker: And also when I was talking about how I was peeing in the wilderness and people saw me, I was thinking I could see you at the grocery store later today.
Speaker: We would not know who each other was.
Speaker: You don't know my face.
Speaker: You don't know my name, but I am tying it so specifically to me.
Speaker: And it's like, it could have been anyone out there.
Speaker: Like, I mean,
Speaker: I'm just an anomaly.
Speaker: Like, you don't know who I am.
Speaker: You don't know.
Speaker: Do you also believe, does this resonate with you?
Speaker: The thing that people say where they're like, nobody's thinking about you as much as you're thinking about yourself.
Speaker: Yeah, I do.
Speaker: That's also a good thing to check me out of it where I'm like, yeah, you're right.
Speaker: Like when have I ever fixated on another person in that way?
Speaker: Like I, if I had seen you, I don't think I would be sitting there five hours later being like, how could that girl do that?
Speaker: How could that woman do that?
Speaker: How could – right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, no.
Speaker: And also the other thing is like, I'm not interested in people who would do that versus people who would be like, I felt for her.
Speaker: Like I've been there, you know, like who felt a kindred like ship versus somebody who was like, oh, I would never.
Speaker: And it's like, wouldn't you?
Speaker: I'm going to grab my book because there's something relevant to what you just said.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: The gift of influence.
Speaker: Here we go.
Speaker: Making a habit of asking people questions about themselves sounds simple, but our brains aren't wired that way.
Speaker: In a study conducted at Harvard University's Social Cognitive and Effective Neuroscience Lab, researchers used FMRI machines to scan participants as they discussed their own opinions and personality traits, followed by the observations of others.
Speaker: Sure enough, the reward areas of the brain, which are typically associated with pleasurable activities, lit up when the participants talked about themselves.
Speaker: A 2017 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology confirmed that most people spend the majority of their conversation sharing their own views rather than focusing on the other person.
Speaker: So I think that literally backs up what you were saying, like we're focused on ourselves.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Nobody's dissecting us as harshly and as like we are putting ourselves under a microscope.
Speaker: But I think unless you're a celebrity, obviously, I feel for celebrities as well because they are the only exception to this rule is like those are the only people being inspected that closely.
Speaker: But us personally, like, no, no one's thinking that deeply.
Speaker: And you're right.
Speaker: Even if they are, those are not people you're interested in.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like that was something that, uh, Bri was talking about today in her work, which she's a energy worker.
Speaker: She specified not healer that she, she identifies more as like an energy worker.
Speaker: And because she feels that healing comes from like us doing the work, which I thought was really beautiful.
Speaker: Anyway, that's a little plug.
Speaker: There's a little plug.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: There's a little plug for the upcoming episode.
Speaker: But yeah, how with her work, it really has to come from a place of non-judgment.
Speaker: And she shared a story with she and I, and it was such a perfect example.
Speaker: She didn't even mean for it to be such a good example of her being non-judgmental.
Speaker: It was.
Speaker: And I just was like, I'm so floored by your capacity, your, your capacity for compassion.
Speaker: It was really like, she definitely could have left me out to dry in the story that she shares on the podcast.
Speaker: And she just didn't.
Speaker: And yeah, that, that nonjudgmental, she's just a little saint.
Speaker: I love her so much.
Speaker: Okay, I have the – this is the one I think we could end on.
Speaker: What brings you joy and lights you up?
Speaker: And how can you bring that into your daily life?
Speaker: And you might already be doing that or at least for today.
Speaker: What a beautiful question to end on.
Speaker: Let me think about that for a few moments.
Speaker: Similar to community, connection, like seeing the people around me live their best life and not be stressed.
Speaker: My dogs –
Speaker: I think that is.
Speaker: I think it's just people.
Speaker: Like, I love people.
Speaker: I love people as much as I love being alone.
Speaker: And it's that.
Speaker: And so I think, how can I make sure to incorporate that in my daily life?
Speaker: For me, it's just making sure I have, even like with my sisters, like –
Speaker: My sister and I, the one that lives in the same house as me, we have very different sleep schedules.
Speaker: And so sometimes it's really hard to like see each other.
Speaker: And so just like sitting down and having a chat and asking each other about our process, like our projects at the moment and what we're up to and just having a fun chat is really important to me.
Speaker: Yeah, it's really when you think about it, it's nothing expensive.
Speaker: It's nothing hard to achieve.
Speaker: It's just easy to find other distractions in your life or make distractions for yourself, things that you think are bigger priorities.
Speaker: But when you really get down to it, for me personally, what brings me joy is just the people in my life, being connected to them.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I think that's really beautiful.
Speaker: I love the simplicity of it all.
Speaker: There's a lot of things, pretty much like what you said really resonates with me.
Speaker: Things that light me up is genuine connections and taking time to see people as people versus, oh, this is the person that's helping me check out at Whole Foods.
Speaker: Oh, this is the person that's driving next to me.
Speaker: Oh, this is the person that's standing in line in front of me, you know, whatever it might be.
Speaker: It's like this person is a person taking that moment to
Speaker: just have view them from that lens really helps me.
Speaker: And then light me up because it just makes me softer.
Speaker: Like it makes me feel more connected.
Speaker: Even if I'm not talking to that person, I'm like, you are a person with a story and that, that does light me up by people's stories.
Speaker: And yeah, that people's stories really light me up too.
Speaker: Yeah, definitely Willow, my little stinger.
Speaker: And yeah,
Speaker: family, friends, sunshine, nature, a nap.
Speaker: There's a, there's a lot of things that, that do light me up.
Speaker: And I think I could get even more clear about that because things like a nap, I like, does that light me up?
Speaker: It definitely helps, helps me feel good, but I don't know if it would necessarily like constitute of lighting me up.
Speaker: So maybe I should, maybe I should, um,
Speaker: be a little bit more clear about that.
Speaker: But I also did say what brings you joy, I think.
Speaker: Naps definitely do bring me joy.
Speaker: Like I cannot operate from a place of tired.
Speaker: That is, no.
Speaker: But knowing these things is helpful for me because it's not like I fit all of these things into my every day.
Speaker: It's like, I will think, what do I need today?
Speaker: What's something that I want today?
Speaker: How can I take care of myself today?
Speaker: What would bring me some joy today?
Speaker: And how can I prioritize that?
Speaker: Because otherwise I can just get into this work mode or I can just get into the everyday minutiae and the little things in each and every day are what contribute to my overall joy, gratitude, and happiness.
Speaker: I think it's important to take that moment to reflect like what does bring me joy?
Speaker: What does light me up?
Speaker: And have that
Speaker: bank basically to pull from on different days.
Speaker: Like sunshine really lights me up, but what if it's a cloudy overcast week, then how else am I going to, how else am I going to find joy and what else can I pull from that lights me up?
Speaker: So yeah.
Speaker: I think having that bank is also so important because sometimes we can get into this trap of thinking that happiness is like an end goal or it's like one big achievement or I'm going to be happy if I do this and that and do this.
Speaker: And it's like all these long-term bigger picture things.
Speaker: But I think the key – not the key, but the key for me personally to enjoying life.
Speaker: It's those little things.
Speaker: Like that's how you make it sustainable and that's how I feel you don't get overwhelmed by problems that come your way because you know that happiness isn't just a fixed point that I'm like running towards.
Speaker: Happiness is like something I try to incorporate every day and enjoy the little things and approach things in life with curiosity is a huge thing for me.
Speaker: So I'm glad you shared your bank.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Well, Cass baby, this is the last one for the summer, babe.
Speaker: Well, the last one for May, I should say.
Speaker: The summer, that's really being dramatic.
Speaker: Thank you so much for listening.
Speaker: If you enjoyed this episode of Where's Our Intern, please leave us a review on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker: You can join the conversation by following us on Instagram and TikTok at where'sourinternpod.
Speaker: And last but not least, if you really, really enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend.
Speaker: It would absolutely make our day.
Speaker: Till next time.
