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Ep. 124 - Grace is a powerful tool we need to use more often - Brian Green
90 Plays1 year ago
Happy Woo Wednesdays! Brian Green is in the Get a HECK Yes house. I met him when he spoke at WMBA.
Brian is an award-winning event planner with over twenty years of experience in the international events industry. He is the Chief Event Architect and Creative Visionary of By BrianGreen LLC based in Atlanta creating amazing social and corporate events across the globe. He is a former Diplomat for the country of Barbados.
Hot topic
Grace is a powerful tool we need to use more often
Connect with Brian
https://www.instagram.com/bybriangreen
Connect with Carissa
https://www.instagram.com/carissawoo
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Transcript
Carissa's Book Launch and New Role
00:00:00
Speaker
Happy Will Wednesdays! I am so grateful that you are taking the time to listen today. So a lot of cool things are happening here at Get A Heck Yes. I had a wonderful book launch party for my book, Woo Them A Heck Yes. It was at Mesh Phase in Redondo Beach, a co-working place. It was lit. All my vendor friends and my family.
00:00:22
Speaker
Normal friends came out. It was a lot, a lot of fun. Also, I was inducted as a VP of Marketing Communications for WIPA as well.
00:00:32
Speaker
It was a jazz Parisian party at the Charleston and Fullerton. Crazy, amazing party with so many surprises. Also, a half dozen of my students are launching their new brand and website next week. Stay tuned.
Free Video Guide Offer
00:00:47
Speaker
Go to myig.com at Carissa Wu. DM me the word demo and get a free video on how to get 10 to 15 quality leads a month. Spoiler alert, it starts with your unique brand.
Introduction to Brian Green
00:00:58
Speaker
So today I have Brian Green with by Brian Green. He's an award winning wedding planner, former diplomat from Barbados. Check out his podcast called the green room. And today we talk about a lot of things we talk about self care, giving yourself grace and we go so so deep. So I hope this episode helps someone enjoy
00:01:25
Speaker
Welcome
Carissa's Journey in Photography
00:01:26
Speaker
to Get a Heck Yes with Carissa Wu. I'm your host, Carissa, and I've been a Los Angeles wedding photographer for over a decade. I've traveled the world, built my team, and seen it all. I now coach wedding photographers hit 10K a month and build a thriving business. In this podcast, we are going to deep dive into how top wedding creatives get that heck yes from their dream clients. We are not holding back on the struggles of the business and how to push through the noise. Some healthy hustle, mindset shifts, up-leveling your money story,
00:01:54
Speaker
time-packed because I'm a mom of two, a little bit of woo-woo, and most importantly, self-love and confidence are just a few of the many things we will talk about. I want to give you a genuine thank you for following along my journey. I hope to inspire you every Woo Wednesday so that you say heck yes to listening to this podcast. See you guys soon!
00:02:17
Speaker
Hey, everyone. Welcome back to Get Heck Yes. Happy Woo Wednesdays. I have a friend now. His name is
Success in Wedding Business
00:02:24
Speaker
Brian Green. Today we met at WNBA. I used to call it NBA, but NBA in Las Vegas. And he is an award-winning event planner for over 20 years of experience. He's a speaker. He has a podcast. He was actually a speaker at the convention.
00:02:41
Speaker
And I met you. You're talking about color theory. And I just had to have you on. So now you're here. Welcome. Happy New Year. Thanks. Just everyone paying attention. 20 years, I started when I was like 2 and 1.5, you know, like so. Ah! You look great. Black don't crack in any reason, right? Black don't crack in any reason. It does not crack. Yes. At Wedding MVA, it was fun this year.
00:03:06
Speaker
Typically when I speak, I don't do trends or like how to make your wedding pretty. I'm more in the space of how to get your business right and how to get your mind right and how to lead and become a better leader through things like empathy and emotional intelligence. But Shannon, who is the curator of wedding MBA column, she's like,
00:03:33
Speaker
I need you to do this. And it was perfect because, funny enough, it's one of those topics that I did in university. I really loved it. Like, it was a course. My total theory in event planning was a course. And I was like, I will do this. And I had the best time doing that topic. Wow. Yeah. So was that your first time speaking there? No, I think it's my fifth. Oh, OK. All right. Yeah, fourth or fifth time.
00:04:01
Speaker
four or five. I don't remember now. Yeah, but it's been quite a lot. So yeah, it's always fun to come back. Shannon already messaged me. She's like,
00:04:12
Speaker
your ratings were off the chart. We need you to come back. I want you to do something, again, that's kind of cool. I'm like, oh, whatever you want me to do, I'll do. But yeah, Wedding MBAs were always really great. You get to see everybody. It's like 5,000 people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a big event. I met you with Terica. She was amazing, too. So I've just been kind of researching you today, like your Instagram, your website. You've been on The Steve Harvey Show. You're just
00:04:37
Speaker
your speaker,
Brian's Diplomatic Background
00:04:38
Speaker
everything. Tell me about like you growing up and like how you got started and just a little bit about you. Your origin story. I love a good origin story. I'm a Marvel fanatic. So my origin story takes us back to the beautiful island of Barbados. All gorgeous, talented people. Me, Rihanna, you know, all comes out of the island.
00:05:06
Speaker
And that's where I grew up, where I spent my formative years. I came to the States to do a little bit of university. I came back to Barbados and started actually in the hotel industry. That was my degree, hospitality and tourism management.
00:05:21
Speaker
And from there kind of grew through the ranks. My goal back in the day was I was going to become a general manager before I became a 30. I ended up being an assistant general manager at 29. And then the government of Barbados came calling and said, we need you to come work in our consulate in Miami. And I became a diplomat for Barbados doing tourism marketing for the island.
00:05:50
Speaker
And part of my responsibility was planning all of our events and doing all of our displays and conventions and trade shows. And that was my whole gig. And I said to my boss, well, if I'm going to do it, I need you to pay for my designation. So I did my CMP. I did my CMM. And then my boss was like, you know, you're so good. You should do this for yourself. Yeah. I thought, are you firing me?
00:06:22
Speaker
No, no, but we just let you do, you know, beige on beige on beige, and you have all these great creative ideas. And at that point, I, my father always says, know what you don't know.
00:06:37
Speaker
I know that I don't know accounts and back-of-house stuff, so I talked my best friend out of his corporate job as an accountant. Wow. And we started the business in 2007. Wow. And then I bought him out 20...
00:07:01
Speaker
15 and changed the name from what it was then to buy Brian Greene now, because most people thought it was my name anyway, because he was just always behind the scenes. And here we are in 20, oh my God, 2024. Yes, I graduated college 2007 and I started my wedding photography business in 2009 during the recession. Same thing, we started in 2008. The plan then was primarily corporate.
00:07:31
Speaker
leaning into the diplomatic core, which I was familiar with, and we would do light social.
00:07:39
Speaker
And then of course all of the corporate went away in one day. Like literally everything I had on the books disappeared one day and I went to bed for like three days. And my dad called me and he's a marketing consultant to countries in the Caribbean helping them to do things differently.
00:08:05
Speaker
And he said to me, you know, business is not under your duvet. Get up and make a plan. Wow. He was like, well, what isn't affected by economic?
00:08:17
Speaker
downturns. I was like, rich people. He was like, and what do rich people do? He's like, I was like, I don't know. They get married and they die. He was like, you want to do funerals? No. Well, then you're going to start doing weddings. And that's when I literally started doing weddings. You know, people don't see all the behind this. They think, oh, all of this was amazing. But I will tell you, I sold my car.
00:08:44
Speaker
My loveliness Anne Marano, brand new at the time, and bought like a trash car and put all of that money into the business. I was like, I paid my rent
Transition to Luxury Weddings
00:08:55
Speaker
for eight months. I didn't have to worry about it. You know, an ad in the knot, wedding wire. And I was like, well, let's see what happens. And literally the same night I put an ad, we got three inquiries and we booked all three.
00:09:13
Speaker
Wow. You sold your car. I don't have my eggs. You know, buddy, the mystery is like, no joke. It's expensive to be in business sometimes. If you're serious about it, you know, okay, what am I going to sacrifice in order to make this thing really work? And I was like, I will give up my lovely brand new still smells new car. Yes. With less than like 12,000 miles on it and pour this into this business.
00:09:42
Speaker
Take me back to like that time, like what was your big vision? Because I know, you know, if I could explain your work, I'm on your website, it's pretty extravagant. But what was your big vision then? And how did you like see it too for fruition? Yeah, so my vision was crazy. My vision was what my business turned into. Um, I knew I
00:10:04
Speaker
I did research first coming into the market. So it was, were we going to stay in Atlanta? Were we going to move the business to DC? Kind of all those combinations. And I knew that in Atlanta, when I looked at the market, especially in the social side, everyone was kind of fighting in the middle. And there were like three people at the luxury end.
00:10:25
Speaker
And I was the only one in the market I was looking that had a CMP and a CMP designation that had a hospitality degree. So that was our intent. We literally sat down and said, this is who we're gonna focus on, we're gonna go after. And it was kind of a, it was a deliberate kind of growth. I didn't wanna rush it. So we did the,
00:10:51
Speaker
$20,000 wedding and got $2,000 in salary for it. Oh my god. I knew that the bride would have a bouquet of peonies.
00:11:01
Speaker
And we would, we would post that and that would save somebody else luxury. And then the next bride had, and we posted that. And then we had the next bride and she had this elaborate estate table and everything else was just candles and water. We posted the hell out of that table. And each time we did it, the next client with the next budget came and said, Oh my God, I saw what you did. Let's work together. And by the time I think we hit the,
00:11:33
Speaker
fifth client we had hit our our first hundred thousand dollar client. Wow! It was kind of in my head and that was kind of the goal. Everyone was fighting in the middle and it didn't make sense to me. I read this really great book called Blue Ocean Strategy that talks about creating your own space in the market where everyone's swimming in the red ocean.
00:11:55
Speaker
And then you're swimming in the blue ocean. What makes you different? So for me, I was qualified. I'm black, I'm gay, and I'm an immigrant. I was the unusual unicorn in Atlanta and luxury for all of those things. And I'm still the only one that
00:12:18
Speaker
So I was like, this is who I am. And I would go to events. When I think about it now, I was nuts. I literally would walk into all these industry events and introduce myself to other industry people and be like, I am the best, what I'm planning in Atlanta. I'm Brian, nice to meet you, chat, chat, chat, blah, blah, blah, blah. To the point where I would start sharing about events and other planners would introduce me as that.
00:12:43
Speaker
Oh, this is good. This is working. This is working. And then literally just luck, dumb luck. In some ways I was at an industry event and I was
00:12:56
Speaker
being my crazy self. And I was talking to who turned out to be an executive producer for a television show at the time that shot here in Atlanta called Get Married. It was on We TV. You should come do an episode as an expert giving advice. And I'm like, sure, why not? And I did one. And then they just kept inviting me back to the next two years. So I was like, really well.
00:13:23
Speaker
Oh, it's so it's so good to be different and unique and a unicorn and I would do the same thing. I would like sneak into like cool venues like Greystone Mansion. I'm like get the shot in the front like in the waterfall like, come on, go, go, go before we get kicked out because people think I'm like, you know, very expensive to shoot here because it costs like $1,500 for a permit. You're right. I mean, you got to figure out a way either you're going to sit at home
00:13:48
Speaker
and fight with everybody else, shooting the same six things. Or you're gonna find a way to get to the market that you're trying to get to. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm like, yeah, I think that's why we connected. I'm like, hell yes. Hustle sees hustle, honey. Yes, I love it. What does your business look like now? I know there's like different entities of it now, like your big time speaker and planner, but yeah, what does it look like today? What does it look like today?
00:14:18
Speaker
Today, it's physically a mess, but normal. So I have a corporate portion. So we started doing corporate again, which is great. So there's the corporate. We have our social. Obviously, I have our speaking side. And then also, we do mentoring privately for some event industry and business pros as well. Oh, I love it.
00:14:47
Speaker
Nice little mix. Yes. What is your favorite thing to speak about when you speak at these large events? I think my favorite thing, honestly, is always the same thing. It's about empathy as a leader and giving grace as a leader, I think. Especially in our industry, we're extremely hard on ourselves and on others. So I never do
00:15:13
Speaker
resolutions because I live to ruin a resolution. It will not last me two weeks. What I do every year is I pick a word
00:15:26
Speaker
that will kind of guide how I will be and behave during the whole year. Oh, wow. And for me, that word is sonder. And it means to understand that every other human has the same complex, difficult, challenging life that you have and to see them for who they are and where they are. So for me, that's really about understanding that when a vendor is late on something,
00:15:56
Speaker
that it's not necessarily incompetence that maybe I need to ask, is everything okay? What's happening? I need to connect with them on a level that is beyond, you're 24 hours late on the thing that you were supposed to get to me because it got sick. Maybe their mom was ill. My husband has COVID right now. There are a million things I should be doing, but he's my priority.
00:16:20
Speaker
So it's really taking the time, especially as business leaders and entrepreneurs, we have to learn to live in a space where we can give other people grace. And we can also give ourselves grace because how often have you beaten yourself up because you didn't finish editing when you thought you were going to finish editing? And then it's two o'clock in the morning and you're still sitting in front of the computer and your eyes are about to fall out of your face. Yeah.
00:16:49
Speaker
but it's not healthy for our business. If we're not well rested, if we're not nurtured, if we're not taking care of ourselves and giving ourselves grace in the moment to say, you know what? Today is a Netflix day. I am not, my brain's not there. I can't edit. I can't write a timeline. We have to get to that space where we understand that there is power as a leader in being able to do those things.
00:17:19
Speaker
Okay, so tell me the word one more time and explain the definition one more time.
Leadership with Empathy
00:17:25
Speaker
Pardon this short interruption, but guess what? I have a new program. It's for all wedding professionals. It's called the triple threat. We redo your brand messaging the homepage of your website. Part two is we do all your marketing we
00:17:42
Speaker
create a beautiful brochure so you could start getting on Prefer venue vendor list and we do all your sales so we actually make you a sales presentation leading your client to the heck yes so you get paid. I have a free 20 minute demo training. It's only 20 minutes. Go to my Instagram at Carissa Woo.
00:18:05
Speaker
and DM me the word DEMO. I will send it right over. It's how to get 10 to 15 quality leads in your inbox per month. Enjoy, guys. Krista Wu is a LA-based wedding photographer who's actually turning business coach. She helped me grow and change, and I'm so proud to call you coach.
00:18:28
Speaker
Tell us how you're feeling. Like, I want to just know a little bit more about your thoughts. It's beautiful and you're awesome. It's beautiful. I'm speechless. I just like the fact that it feels like myself. I feel myself when I see this. Oh, man. Well, you got me pumped and excited for this. Carissa, thank you.
00:18:48
Speaker
Sonder S-O-N-D-E-R and it means that you acknowledge that everybody else has as a complex and challenging and full life as you and that they're doing and dealing with the things that you are dealing with in your life and that it helps you in in all spaces to be able to give grace and also to meet people where they are.
00:19:12
Speaker
Yeah, I love it. I feel like if I was working with you as a photographer, you're the planner. And you know, you came at me with empathy, like, you know, trying to understand like, what's in my head, what I'm going through, if the timeline is not going to plan or something's happening with a bride, like, and coming in with compassion, then I would feel a lot more connected with you. And it would help out the whole like wedding as a whole, like, overall.
00:19:38
Speaker
What is my so so I have a lot of photographer actually a photographer is a great example I'll have photographers that will call me and say okay, so Like what do you what do you want out of the wedding? I don't want you to be the artist that you are Yeah, but what does that look like? I you own your art They picked you and I suggested you because your art rocks Don't change your art for me
00:20:05
Speaker
Like the only thing I might say is I know the details of this wedding. Here's the details. Think about, and let's talk about what publication you think this might fit and want with your style, but I'm not.
00:20:23
Speaker
telling you what to shoot, how to shoot, angles to shoot. That's not my gig. That is your art. If we are ready, we'll come to you and say, hey, everything good. How can I help? Is there a challenge? Are they driving you crazy? Do you need a water? Because at the end of the day, if you're stressed out, that's going to ripple through.
00:20:45
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I had I had brides like in the past, right? And bridesmaids, of course, like tried to boss me around the whole time. And, you know, I didn't have the confidence at first. But now after many years, I would just say like, hey, it's kind of like tapping into my creative juices. So can I just like let let it flow? And then we'll do your shots like later if we have time. I usually just I usually laugh and I usually laugh and say, wait, I thought you were bridesmaid. Did I hire you?
00:21:13
Speaker
Oh, that's cute. That's really cute. And then they're like, go. My team, we've got this. We work alone. We don't need help. But yeah, if you're not confident, you can get thrown off your game. And then if you have a planner or you're working with people who are uncaring, unsympathetic,
00:21:40
Speaker
then it becomes this worse thing. And it doesn't get better. What actually happens is it gets worse. So who are you benefiting? Because ultimately, at the end of the day, we all came to do the thing for this client. Whatever it is we do, you do cakes, great. Why am I yelling at you because the cake's facing the wrong way when I could just say, hey, can we twist it around? It's that hard.
00:22:05
Speaker
I'm always the, everyone laughs because my timeline is like 33 pages long with diagrams. It's because detail is king. But also once I've handed it over to you, you know what you need to do. I don't have to micromanage. And I hate people micromanaging me.
00:22:26
Speaker
Yeah, I love that. I just think back like I think after COVID I lost my confidence a little bit just like having two kids postpartum and I was I kind of wasn't strong in my intuition. So I would have like some of my second tutors Oh, maybe go to this or like, Hey, what should we do? And then I would look at the pictures and I'm like, I had better intuition of just
00:22:48
Speaker
like what I thought the shot, the best shot would be at the certain time of that split second. So I was like, trust your gut, trust your intuition. If you lose that intuition, like you lose your art. So powerful. You know, COVID did that to a lot of us, right? I mean, we all sat at home thinking, well, if we are not doing X, who are we? And that's
00:23:13
Speaker
It's sobering. Some people rushed and were making candles and some people were soaps and all of these things trying to find a way to ground themselves. For me, it was, I'm going to do the thing that I love doing most and that is I took all of my processes and made them digital.
00:23:41
Speaker
And just for people who are new in the business, I was like, here, $29, you can use my templates. Off you go. And that was great. I was able to pay my bills. My husband didn't put me out of the house, which was a blessing. But it was good. But if you're not able to find your confidence in this, especially in art, it moves so fast. And especially for a photographer, because
00:24:09
Speaker
Part A of your gig is they of. But your big chunk is then making sure that the way you saw it in your head and what you got in your camera is exactly what they got but better. So if you guys have
00:24:25
Speaker
I have so much respect for photographers. Thank you. Okay. I want to get like kind of deep with you. Um, so I know like you could talk about a million things as a wedding planner, especially with their experience, but like grace, empathy, like why, why is it so like special to you? Did something, um, like happen or did you like to have a transformation? Just kind of get deep with me a little.
00:24:52
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. No, I'm happy to do that. And I know you had Terica on recently as well, so I will be calling her name a lot. In 2020, I had, just before lockdown, one of the worst client experiences of my life, like anything that could go wrong went wrong. I mean, anything that could go wrong went wrong. And things that were outside of my control, that were other vendors,
00:25:23
Speaker
But I dealt with a very sad, angry client who spent weeks, nearly five weeks, every day on Instagram stories, just dragging me through the mud. Wow. To the point where I had to get an attorney and we had to deal with, and I reached a point of depression where I could not see a way forward.
00:25:52
Speaker
Wow. And sat in my bathroom, contemplating where I should sit to end it all. That would be the least stressful for my husband. Wow. And Tarika literally called me when I was sitting in the bathroom and I was like, I'm not answering the phone.
00:26:15
Speaker
And then she called right back again and I asked for an accident and she literally went, bitch, when I call you, answer this phone. Oh my God. And I laughed and we ended up talking for about two, two and a half hours straight. And I said to her what I was thinking and she said, I don't know what it was, something just told me to call you. But what came out of that was,
00:26:42
Speaker
The same vendors who had the issues that were laid in turnaround, that didn't deliver items, everybody disappeared. Nobody checked on me. Nobody stood up and said, hey, you know, that wasn't Brian, that's on us. And even other vendors who I was close with,
00:27:09
Speaker
that saw what was happening, no one reached out to say, are you okay? And it kind of took me down this path and this journey of why don't we give each other empathy and grace? And what does that look like? And how am I contributing to it? And how can I change the conversation? So first things first, obviously, thanks to a great therapist. I am in a good healthy space now. I love my therapist.
00:27:39
Speaker
I think she is paid to drag me on purpose. She's amazing. And it was actually her that said to me, you know, you should turn this part of your life into one of your speaking topics because
00:27:58
Speaker
It's important that people understand that empathy in business is one of the most essential tools. Yeah, financing is great. And a good marketing plan is essential. And all these things are awesome. But if you don't have empathy for other people, especially in a leadership role as an entrepreneur, as someone who's guiding a process in an event space, you have nothing.
00:28:27
Speaker
wow so it became a topic and it became a passion and you know i've been very privileged to be able to talk about it on all of the stages and i'm very grateful for that but more than that for me it's about when i'm in that room and i can see other people connecting to maybe i was not necessarily as kind as i could have been maybe i did check out and i didn't
00:28:54
Speaker
Like we all have a friend that we love
Supporting Industry Peers
00:28:58
Speaker
and we know, and you know when they're acting differently. And we have two options, right? We can call and say, hey,
00:29:06
Speaker
What's going on? Do you need help? What can I do to support you? Or two, we can say, I don't know what's going on over there, but I'm too busy with my own problems, and they'll figure it out when they figure it out. And more often than not, we do the latter. We don't do the latter. And then it becomes this thing, and then you're distant, and this person was so close to you, now you don't remember why you're not speaking.
00:29:28
Speaker
all because that one micro moment, you didn't step into empathy and grace and say, hey, what's going on? Now, if that person says to you nothing and I don't want to talk about it, that's fine, because it's their story to manage. But we've got to get to a space where we are giving empathy and grace to each other. Brian, thank you for sharing that. That's great. My pleasure.
00:29:58
Speaker
I went through some crazy like emotional stuff and like during COVID so my whole life blew up and one of my vendor friends would check up on me and my husband every day like how are you guys doing and just that text like was really meant a lot so I always keep that with me because when you're in like the darkest of times like who's going to show up with you
00:30:20
Speaker
For you. Literally, I tease Tarika because she's not a caller, she's a texter. If Tarika calls me, I know something has gone really wrong and we should like saddle up horses and get going.
00:30:38
Speaker
But during that period, she called me every day, every day for like six months. Yes, to shoot the breeze and laugh and talk every day. And it's really important to show up for people. It really is important. We did a wedding the other day and my photographer had a worse migraine of her life.
00:31:06
Speaker
and she was still trying to shoot through it. And every time she took a break, because I get migraines, I was sitting there and I was doing all the techniques. And she was like, no one's ever done this for me before. My friends are like, I don't even know how you're here.
00:31:30
Speaker
That is amazing to me. And for the holiday, she sent me a lovely gift. She was like, that was the, I felt seen, like somebody cared. And that meant a lot to me. I was like, yeah, it's important.
00:31:44
Speaker
That's like the best part of like, just being in the industry for a long time. And like, we do create these bonds with people. Maybe like speak to the hearts of like a young professional and they just, you know, got to get the shot, got to get the timeline, got to do this, got to do the perfect for the client. Like, how can someone maybe open their heart a little bit like a newbie and practice like compassion or empathy? Yeah, that's such a good question. So I think first of all,
00:32:15
Speaker
When you start in this business, everyone always wants to, a new photographer wants to work with a me, a Michelle Ganey or whoever. I'm not necessarily gonna put you on my roster, cause I don't know you, you're not tested. When we started my group,
00:32:36
Speaker
We all connected to people who are at the same level. So that's the first thing I'm going to say. If you connect with people that are at the same level as you, you can grow together. Because if you just started and you want to work with Preston Bailey, and you don't have all your lights right, and you don't have all your stuff together, he doesn't have time, and neither does his client. When Issa Rae started in Hollywood, she talked about the fact that she networked across
00:33:06
Speaker
not up. So it was finding artists and talent and other creatives who were like her, who were hungry and wanted to do something and wanted to push the envelope and push the boundaries. And she was in trying to work with Viola Davis. She was working with the people at her same level. So that's the point. Start at your same level. People will have empathy for you because they're going through the exact same struggle you are. So step one, step two,
00:33:36
Speaker
Nurturing and being genuine. This business for people on the outside can feel very smoke and mirrors, very glamorous, but we know that it's grit and dirt. Yes. So don't lose sight of the fact that what we do is actually work. It should feel easy to the people experiencing the event. Yeah. But never get caught up in the fact that it is easy and that there is a struggle every day.
00:34:07
Speaker
So as you build your peer groups and you build your vendor families, work with people that you really want to connect with. I don't have a single person on my vendor list that I don't like as a human being. Yeah. Because I don't care how talented you are. If you are a jerk, I do not want to work with you. Yeah. I'm not going to, you know, recommend you to a client or to another vendor. So for me, it's,
00:34:37
Speaker
Everyone that I work with, I care about and I show them that I care. I will show up wedding day with champagne for the, you know, for the couple getting married, but I'll show up with cookies for my setup team for, you know, decor. What does it kill me to get 12 damn cookies? Like nothing, right? But people are like, Oh my God.
00:35:01
Speaker
You thought about us. Yeah, I did. Cause I know you've been here since seven o'clock this morning. Wow. You're going to be here till five o'clock when we're ready for ceremony. So why not actively engaging in care? And then the other thing that I think is that oftentimes people have a habit of who they are outside of the business is not who they are inside their business.
00:35:31
Speaker
So when you disconnect on authenticity, if you, Carissa, come to my house for dinner, I'm the same person you met at wedding MBA, because, well, for one, it drives me crazy when people have multiple personalities. I don't understand what's happening. But if you are truly authentic and you truly care, it will show. Yes. And you're gonna build a community that's going to support you in a way that you really need.
00:36:00
Speaker
And then the last thing I would say to anybody is keep auditing the people around you. Everyone in your circle is not in your corner. Wow. I love it. And I love Easter Ray by the way. This is obsessed. I mean, I followed her on YouTube, like the awkward
00:36:23
Speaker
So did I. And then she got her own show and I was thinking about her too, just like the people she surrounded herself to. I was listening to call her daddy yesterday and like Adam Levine was on it and he was just like, he was like,
00:36:40
Speaker
weirdo friends, he says from, from his acting class and just like, Hey, I don't like do you want to like, can we like, pick some jokes or whatever? Just like, whatever. And then it turned into like workaholics. And I was like, Oh, that's so cool. You know, it's like, you don't always have to like, climb the range, you know, like, grow together, like, if you're on the same level. So I never heard that before.
00:37:04
Speaker
All right, so this is really, really, really good. I want just you to close with wedding professionals that are listening right now and
00:37:16
Speaker
maybe they're feeling like you were before that time, like down in the dumps.
Advice for Industry Professionals
00:37:20
Speaker
And maybe there's no light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe they're looking to go back to corporate and they're thinking, is this the end of me? You know, maybe they've been in the industry for 15 years and it's like, they're not getting the inquiries no more. And they're just, they can't even feed their family and they have to tell their wives that maybe they can't afford classes anymore. Like speak to those people right now. How would they get out of the funk today?
00:37:46
Speaker
I'm excited to share with you all about our first Get A Heck Yes sponsor, Seventeen Hats. I've been using this CRM company for over a decade and I've been referring them to all my frienders for all this time. I always know when I'm going to get paid and most importantly, I get paid. So here is a question. What is holding you back? What's keeping you from finding success as a small business person?
00:38:11
Speaker
It's not passion. The fact that you're listening to my podcast shows that you're eager to learn and get better. Know what holds you back is all the chaos of business, paperwork, mailed invoices, and no system to handle at all. That's where Seventeen Hats comes in. Seventeen Hats is a better way to manage your small business. It's an all-in-one platform that streamlines everything from lead capture to client communication to clicking your done automated invoices.
00:38:41
Speaker
17 Hats paves a way for success you deserve by giving you back hours in your day. Find what success looks like for you with 17 Hats. Get started for free at 17hats.com and use my code HECKYES and it's going to give you guys 50% off your first annual membership. How amazing is that? Back to the show. So I love my business and I hate it every day.
00:39:13
Speaker
I've always said that the idea of me having my own business was that it would help me create the life I wanted. I didn't want to become entrapped by my business. I wanted my business to be the underpinning of support.
00:39:32
Speaker
So we're moving into 2024. We're all reading the stats. There's less this, there's less weddings, there's less blah, blah. The big glut of 2022 is gone. Here's what I'll say, a couple of things. So when it was, what was it? 2.6 million weddings in 2022? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of those 2.6 million weddings,
00:39:59
Speaker
You still only need the same 15 that you do or whatever, right? Whether it's 2.6 million or 2 million, a chunk of that is backyards and courthouse. Yeah, totally. You're not calling Carissa Wu to come shoot their wedding. Yeah, yeah. You can ignore that number and then start looking at what's in your market and what's available. But I would also say if you in your heart know that you have
00:40:30
Speaker
given it all, done it all, and you're ready for a change, do not be afraid to also change. The beautiful thing about creating a business or an entity or an environment is that you can do it again. You already have the blueprint.
00:40:47
Speaker
Yeah. That 2024 was a shit year because it's Olympics and it's an election and all the things and people are worried about all the things. And you think, well, you know what, maybe this year I'm going to go take a little halftime corporate gig job and pay some bills. If that gives you comfort, do that. Yeah. And don't let people, I know we have to say in our industry, oh, now she's only part to it.
00:41:16
Speaker
Okay. Well, do you have her bills? Do you have her mortgage? Do you pay her car note? What a ballet like mind your business. Like mind the business that pays you. I've never understood that weird or the people who like to flex and like so many weddings. Do you have this year? What difference does it make? I didn't do things in a year because where I'm at five weddings pays me well.
00:41:44
Speaker
So I don't need to do 20. But that doesn't mean that the person that needs to do 20 weddings should be knocked for that. Are you kidding? Yeah. For me, it is always about knowing who you are and what you want in your business. When I started my brand, I knew that I wanted to be, my father said to me, think of department stores.
00:42:10
Speaker
What department store are you? I wanted to be Bergdorf Goodman. I want to be rich, old money, honey, carpet, yay, thick, from the door. But Walmart and Dollar General outsell Bergdorf Goodman a billion to one every day.
00:42:36
Speaker
Yeah. Well, there's no shame in being the Walmart version or the Dollar General version or the Macy's or the Blumey's or whatever. Knowing what you are and what your business is and holding on to the fact that you know it will come, but not being afraid to say, okay, it's June and I've not booked anything yet. Maybe I should go get a part-time job.
00:43:03
Speaker
There's no shame in that. But don't think that because you had to do that, your dream died. It didn't work out. It's having an opportunity for you to take that moment to say, here's how I'm gonna plan to move forward again. But yeah, don't end up in your car because you're holding onto a dream. That's really, really good advice. I love that. It's almost like,
00:43:30
Speaker
Who are you? And then everything will trickle in, but it's okay if you...
00:43:36
Speaker
go to all the hiccups. Whose road is this? Who has this road? The roads are this. Yeah, I really love that. That's actually really wise words from Brian Green. Tell everyone where to find you, how to work with you, everything. So I am on All Socials, at, by Brian Green. You can find me everywhere. Slide into my DMs. I'm always happy to chat.
00:44:02
Speaker
um whatever the time the question the topic feel free to message me um this year uh if you're on the circuit i will be
00:44:14
Speaker
at Signature CEO. I will be at NACE Experience. I will be at Cateresource and the Special Events. I will be at Wedding MBA again and a whole lot more as the year kind of progresses. You'll see me around. A couple WIPA and NACE chapters as well. So come and say, hey, come and say what's up. Come give me a hug. I like a hug. I like a good hug. Yes. Thank you, Brian. This is a really deep conversation. I really enjoyed it.
00:44:44
Speaker
No, I love that. I know weddings, we aren't changing the world with a wedding, right? We're not curing cancer. But what we are doing is we're creating incredible, indelible memories for these people who trust us with their experience.
00:45:03
Speaker
that last them a lifetime, even if the wedding doesn't, if the marriage doesn't. It's a great experience. So anything that we can do as an industry to help each other grow and charge what we deserve, I am here for it. Love that.
00:45:27
Speaker
Thanks for joining me this week on Get a Heck Yes with Carissa Wu. Make sure to follow, subscribe, leave a review, or tell a friend about the show. Take a screenshot and post to IG. Tag me. Also, don't forget to download my free guide on how to become a lead generating machine. See you next time, wedding pros!