Transcript
Speaker: It's Fructuous Friday Finance.
Speaker: Every Friday, one of our experts answers your personal finance questions. Hey, America, are you ready to plant Fructuous Money Seeds?
Speaker: Let's start digging.
Speaker: I'm Melanie Sabadin, your Triple F expert for today. Thank you to POS Podcast Productions for sponsoring this program. Please remember to use the FFF VoIP number to record your messages.
Speaker: We've received some spotty cell phone messages that are hard to understand. So use the VoIP number, people. Okay, let's listen to our message today from Colt Beckett.
Speaker: Hello FFF. My name is Colt. I recently found out my girlfriend has $30,000 of credit card debt from before we met. I mistakenly opened one of her bank statements and saw the outstanding balance.
Speaker: I thought marriage was in the cards for us, but her debt has given me second thoughts. How should I confront her about this?
Speaker: Howdy Colt! The debt your girlfriend has accumulated is worrisome. The last thing you want to add to a new marriage is financial stress and resentment. My suspicion is she used credit cards to keep up with American beauty standards.
Speaker: I typically recommend a three-step process to help strong men like you confront beauty debt. Step 1. Jokingly squeeze your girlfriend's breasts and say, Honk honk!
Speaker: Do her breasts feel extra firm? Now, tap your finger to the tip of her nose and playfully say, boop! Does her nose tip feel pointy and sharp? If you answered yes to both questions, then you can be certain she used credit cards to pay for breast augmentation and rhinoplasty procedures.
Speaker: That's $9,000 for her breasts and for her nose. Step two, offer your girlfriend a full body massage. Apply all natural coconut oil to her body and start massaging once she relaxes and closes her eyes.
Speaker: Pull out a handheld black light and look for tiny scars on her stomach and butt. If you see small incision scars, you know she had liposuction. That's $6,000 for her butt and $7,000 for her stomach. three,
Speaker: but and seven thousand dollars for her stomach step three Now that you know the sources of her credit card debt, you can confront her directly.
Speaker: Call her a fake ass bitch. I know it feels wrong, but you actually want her to feel deep shame. Say it again. Fake ass bitch. Fake ass bitch.
Speaker: Fake ass bitch. Eventually, she'll break into tears and tell you all about the beauty procedures she paid for with her credit card. Have a little compassion for your girlfriend at this stage.
Speaker: Remember, there are unreasonable beauty standards for women in America. It costs big money to have a Barbie doll body. Now, ask yourself, Colt, do you want a hot wife or an uggo?
Speaker: If you like them hot, Colt, a little credit card debt shouldn't chase you away. Thank you for your question. I wish you and your girlfriend the very best.
Speaker: The Fructuous Friday Finance Show has come to an end. Until next time, thank you, America!
