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Predetermined Rebooted: Control Your Narrative, Beast Man, Bareilles!
60 Plays3 years ago
Surprise, Predetermined is back! Garrett, Chris and Fax are here to chat Control Your Narrative, Beast Man, Sara Bareilles, Ric Flair's demise, Summerslam and more!
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Transcript
Meet the Hosts
00:00:35
Speaker
Hey friends, welcome to a special episode of, I guess, predetermined a pro wrestling hangout. I am one third of the hosts here. I'm Garrett Callender, and I will throw it over to the other hosts. Hey, hey, it's a, I am a curtain jerk.
00:00:51
Speaker
Facts. I think people have probably heard me on here before. We used to host a podcast called The Best There Ever Was. Now we're doing this. Before we talk about what this is, other than pre-determined, I guess, this week, I'll kick it to my former and now future co-host, Chris Meliaccio. Hey, I'm Chris, the other curtain jerk.
00:01:14
Speaker
trying to talk at a reasonable volume into the USB microphone I found in a drawer when we decided to do this, because I forgot to get a better microphone for us. Shout out to our old producer, Kent, who provided sweet, sweet gear. We're so glad to be here. To be fair, Chris, I mean, you only had many, many weeks to prepare for this. I could have thought about this, yes.
00:01:40
Speaker
That being said, this was very much thrown together. Like we have to do this now. Yes, this was very much. So why don't Karen, I feel like you were one of the biggest catalysts for what?
The Return to Podcasting
00:01:50
Speaker
So why don't before we even talk about what the hell this is, why don't we talk about why did we have to do this now? Because I think we're all in agreement. We had to do it now. But can we just quickly go through the litany of things that we just really needed to talk about?
00:02:06
Speaker
There were really two major things for me. The four of us, Derek is not here currently. You will hear Derek again at some point. Well, you'll just know when he's here. You'll hear Derek and be like, oh, there's Derek. And that might be part of what this is moving forward. It's just whoever's there. That's what it is.
00:02:26
Speaker
But the four of us went to Forbidden Door together, and honestly, that weekend was, or that day specifically, probably the hardest I've laughed in a long time. And it just, it felt so right. But there are two things specifically we've been talking about lately that just
Critique of 'Control Your Narrative'
00:02:45
Speaker
the curtain jerks and predetermined had to come back for it. One, control your narrative. How dare those motherfuckers start that after we all stop podcasting? I'm pretty sure if they had started that in 2018, we would be trillionaires right now. If you don't know control your narrative, it is a wrestling league made up by a bunch of problematic strong boys who like to monologue.
00:03:13
Speaker
So much monologuing, so incredibly much monologuing. And maybe the second thing, though, that we witnessed, that it was just like, no, we're back. Predetermined, curtain jerks are back. We witnessed warrior. Right.
Celebrating Beastman
00:03:30
Speaker
Your warrior. This is not the day of forbidden door, but not at the United Center. And the start. So the star of the show for us for the day, Okada, great.
00:03:42
Speaker
You know, Jon Moxley, excellent, but really and truly the most important man we saw that day was when he's part man, but he's so much more, he's the beast man. He is literally and figuratively worth many men in any measure. He's got props.
00:04:08
Speaker
He's got a mask. He's got just a size of a man that you could have only seen at a very specific era of WWF. He's kind of got the Berserker loincloth, but much larger.
00:04:22
Speaker
It brought up, I know one of my comments was, you know, the ways to professional wrestling superstardom. You have a couple of paths, right? You can be a genetic freak, either like, you know, super attractive, super athlete. You can work really, really hard, right? Obviously, there's a lot of people that are one end to. And then route three is just be absolutely enormous. Yes. And barely able to move.
00:04:49
Speaker
and be serious that hard work pays off and then seeing the Beastman like run laps will not figuratively run laps around Brian Gage in the AEW. Yeah, but like, if you if you if you guys can go back to like that, the promos that Brian Danielson was cutting on Eddie Kingston, I can only imagine the promos Daniels could cut on Beastman.
00:05:16
Speaker
And if you're wondering, will I get to see Beastman in my city? This sounds like a thing that might be a one-off.
00:05:23
Speaker
No, my friends, Beastman is making cities. Well, and by the way, and it's just a good business because it wasn't just the four of us snickering and watching this. We got GA seats. There were bleachers. We were sitting in the bleachers. And everyone around us, everyone was talking about Beastman. And it wasn't like he was jerking the curtain against another local Chicago guy. He went against the name brand guy. Who are you doing? Mike Bennett. Mike Bennett. Who was trying real hard.
00:05:53
Speaker
No good gave two shits about Mike Bennett in that match. The entire building was talking about Beastman. Mike Bennett's like, let me tell you about my personal journey. And we're like, no, no, no, sir. Beastman, Beastman, Beastman. I've never seen a wrestler get over so quickly with a crowd of people who have definitely never seen Beastman prior to that. Yeah. Put it this way.
00:06:20
Speaker
Some one of you sent me a picture that told me that sometime in September, the Beastman is wrestling Joey Janela somewhere in New Jersey. I don't know what promotion this is in. I don't know what city in New Jersey this is in. I think it's GCW. I know I don't. I don't think so. It's J. It's J. C. W. Oh, it's J. C. OK, so which is okay.
00:06:44
Speaker
I didn't even know- This is GCW developmental right now. And I just knew, I just knew I'm gonna be there. I was like, you, I will figure out a way there. New Jersey, anywhere in New Jersey is close enough for me to see the Beastman again. Yeah, and just, we'll come back to Beastman, but I just want to say so again, just for the audience at home. Reason number one, control your narrative. Reason number two, Beastman.
00:07:08
Speaker
Those are the two reasons. Now, also, Vince McMahon got fired. Tony Khan bought Ring of Honor, ran a pay-per-view, and everyone hates him. Oh yeah, and Ric Flair's gonna die in a few days. And the boss is gonna be in the room for his death. Yeah. Yeah, I get to watch a 75-year-old man with a pacemaker headline
00:07:36
Speaker
An arena after selling out a fairground room, they
Sponsorship Humor
00:07:42
Speaker
moved it to a 9,000 seat arena. I mean, they're not going to sell out the arena, right, Garrett? That's not on track, is what you're hearing?
00:07:56
Speaker
Well, I mean, from what I'm hearing is just what Conrad is posting on Twitter, and every time they post about it, it's like, tickets are running, they're running out, man, you gotta get those tickets, but every time I check, there's more tickets, so. Somehow I feel like, this is making me feel like a lot of the things Conrad Thompson says maybe aren't true. Like, do I need blue chew, and will I save if I refinance my house with him?
00:08:26
Speaker
somehow I don't trust him anymore. Well, before trying to refinance your house, definitely try the blue chew. Okay. That is, I mean, honestly, we had discussed this too.
00:08:40
Speaker
I don't know if this is the place to talk about it, but we want to try different wrestling products. We want to try control your narrative spices and tell you, are these spices worth me buying? Essentially, blue chew is a wrestling product. I think we should be all chewing that blue. I mean, look, if blue chew wants to sponsor this podcast,
00:09:06
Speaker
I will talk about Bluetooth every week for a long time. It's up to you. It's up to you, Bluetooth. I mean, I think it's a no brainer. We can talk about Vince every week. Bluetooth can can sponsor our Vince segment where we we we play Vince.
00:09:29
Speaker
Vince with a boner in various situations. That's what got us into this mess. That's why Triple H is in charge right now, is because Vince had a boner in various situations. I guess we should leave with this, right guys? The guy who's been running the largest wrestling promotion in the world for all of our entire lives, literally, I think he bought it like
00:09:54
Speaker
three days after fax was born or something. Well, I thought he bought it in like this late 70s. It's the early 80s. But it's like right. I mean, certainly all the entire relevant time of our lives. This man, this bizarre, roided up, cocaine man has been running
00:10:16
Speaker
the defining wrestling promotion. And now, because he fucked some women and paid them off, and then that should have been a company expense, and thus they're gonna have to restate some financials, it's over. Of all the things that have finally taken down Vince McMahon, not covering up the murders,
Vince McMahon's Controversial Departure
00:10:41
Speaker
Um, not the sort of being a terrible person, the racism, um, all of the various things that he's covered up. Blood looking Brock Lesnar versus Roman Reigns for the eighth time. Right. Terrible creative for literally a decade plus. Deifying the ultimate warrior after all of his shit. Um,
00:11:05
Speaker
destroying the prime of many of the most talented wrestlers in the history of humankind. Not pushing CM Punk and Bryan Danielson nearly hard enough. Yeah. I mean, the real.
00:11:18
Speaker
truly offensive things. Finally, something has done it. And I gotta say, look, I'm not gonna, let's be clear, I'm not gonna watch WWE again anytime soon with any regularity. I'm going to a wrestling show this Saturday, they're gonna show SummerSlam after, I might stay for a half hour.
00:11:43
Speaker
I feel like a certain level of hopefulness that maybe the product's going to be better a little bit, like not a lot. It literally couldn't be worse, right? So I mean, like literally think about what a little bit better would be, would be everything stays the same, but Triple H runs with XT again.
00:12:04
Speaker
I was happy with that. I was totally on board with that. So if that's all we get, and I do think that that's kind of the floor of what we're probably going to get, that's a huge improvement. Yeah, I think the floor is we get rid of the Kevin Dunn production, the constant cuts. The announcers don't sound quite as much like robots whose like power sources are flickering. If you could do those two things, I feel like you could get through
00:12:32
Speaker
much more of a show more easily. When I flip off, you know, Girls 5 EVA on Peacock and, you know, watch a little bit of wrestling. You mean give it the double bird and switch over like you don't like it's writing either? Yeah. Hey, we got high standards in this house. Sometimes those songs ain't great. Don't think you can coast Bareilles just because you wrote Waitress.
00:13:04
Speaker
more Sara Bareilles jokes on this podcast. That's what we're coming back with. Beastman, control your narrative. Bareilles.
00:13:13
Speaker
That's right. By the way, let's go back to Beastman. I feel like we've been off Beastman way too long. So I just did some quick Googling of some Beastman stuff. So Beastman, by the way, it is JCW on September the 10th, but it is against Joey Janela. So again, I can't state that enough. He's wrestling Joey Janela. He's the top guy in GCW. JCW shows stream on YouTube. So all of you out there, you can enjoy this.
00:13:41
Speaker
Yeah, it specifically says it will be streaming live on the GCW YouTube, right? So it's JCW, they're developmental for GCW for all intents and purposes. And by the way, you'll probably see some other GCW guys on that card. I'd be surprised if you didn't.
00:13:56
Speaker
So, um, his official Twitter account is, is managed by a translator because you see he's a Stone Age Savage beast man. So he would be speaking in beast language. Of course. Um, two other interesting things though. Apparently his early, he started going to Indies and trying to get a job at the age of 16. And the first person that actually started digging him seriously and like started helping getting him into the business. Take a guess guys.
00:14:27
Speaker
This would have been, let's see if I can get a year on this. I don't know, you guys saw him, he was 16. Let's call it 10-ish, 10 to 15 years ago. Okay, I got it, I think. It's definitely a guy you both know. Okay, no, I got it then, I know it. He was discovered by Scott Steiner at Shoney's. That's incorrect.
00:14:55
Speaker
So I have an elaborate theory here. So this wrestler saw a 16-year-old beast man and thought to himself, the experiences I've had with other large 16-year-olds tell me that I need to atone for something in my life because I probably do less cocaine
00:15:21
Speaker
than I did in the 90s and so I'm going to try to get this person on a show but not murder them. I'm of course talking about New Jack and I'm
00:15:36
Speaker
I'm assuming that he has wrestled Beastman successfully without murdering him, and that's what got Beastman his start. He did gig Beastman, but only just a very light gig, a very un-new Jack gig, and that's why Beastman is still with us and is a superstar today.
00:15:56
Speaker
Is that right? So, so I will say this. I do not have the full elaboration of the story. I just Google search literally while you guys were talking a few minutes ago. So I don't know the story, but I will say this. You are fucking close.
00:16:11
Speaker
I am gonna say this. So why do we do this? I'm gonna give you an additional hint. So you already have Garrett, you were not close at all. Chris, you were not that that far off. I'm gonna add something that this is somebody again, you guys both absolutely know this person, this wrestler.
00:16:33
Speaker
And I will say to the best of my knowledge, he has never appeared on a mainstream wrestling TV show.
00:16:45
Speaker
And again, I'm talking about a real TV show. I'm not talking about like deep, you know, we gotta, but I'm counting, you know, and again, you don't, you guys know, I don't know TNA and impact. So I, maybe he was an impact, but he definitely wasn't on anything in the Vince McMahon's tape library, or I'm sorry, Triple H's tape library. Got to get used to saying that.
00:17:15
Speaker
Fuck. Chris, do you have a guess? I am. Yeah, it's. And not Tony Khan's library either, I'm assuming. I think he may have been in Ring of Honor. I think he might have made, but I will say that he is definitely not known for something in either tape library.
00:17:40
Speaker
I am confident he has never appeared on anything in the WWE tape library. He may be something in the con warmer Warner tape library, but that's not what he's known best for. Is it low key? We're homicide. No, I would say colder from older from New Jack. Those are colder and not ECW clearly, right? Because otherwise that would be
00:18:10
Speaker
Uh, so again, I, I don't remember. It wouldn't like guy. If he was an ECW guy, he was like a, a very, like maybe he's not. No, as an ECW guy. No, I couldn't promise he never worked ECW.
00:18:27
Speaker
Sure, sure. But he's definitely not. And I guess that's a further hint. He is of the vintage. He, in theory, could have appeared at ECW. He could have appeared in Ring of Honor. I'm actually almost positive we have seen him work a Ring of Honor show. But again, he's not a guy you would ever think of as a Ring of Honor guy. You know what? I take that back. We've definitely seen him work.
Beastman's Background and Growth
00:18:50
Speaker
And Garrett, I'm pretty sure you will have seen him work in person. Probably not at...
00:18:56
Speaker
Probably not a Ring of Honor, probably more than, definitely a GCW for sure. Matt Tremont? Warmer. Warmer. Think somebody may be a little more vintage. Even more vintage than Tremont. Are we talking like Necrobutchers? Bingo! That is the correct answer.
00:19:29
Speaker
So yeah, basically, Necrobutcher is the one that we owe our thanks to for Beastman. And I will also say this, there's a picture on the site. I found out of a, in the incarnation of Beastman, so he's no longer 16, he's an adult, there's a picture of him at his own merch table.
00:19:52
Speaker
And I don't again I don't know how old it is but it looks like from when that picture was taken where he was already the beast man to when we saw him at warrior wrestling a month ago it looks like. I'm gonna call that a two thousand twenty beast man. Twenty twenty two beast man is the size of two twenty twenty beast man.
00:20:15
Speaker
He has gotten rapid, like again, that picture could have been 10 years old, I guess, like, I don't know, but he's gotten substantially larger of what we were already a very large man. The pandemic's been hard on a lot of us facts, okay? Honestly, we won't have any of these answers until the translator helps him write his memoir, and we find out how Beast Boy became a Beast Man. Maybe we need somebody to write this. Somebody get Kim Chi on the horn, somebody get Kim Chi on the horn, and help provide these services.
00:20:45
Speaker
But again, you say that Chris, the pandemic is hard on people, but I mean, his career is blasting off now. So I think that extra mass was strategic. I think it was a business decision. And from where I sit, a damn good one. I'll be honest. I mean, you can get on Fight TV and buy this episode of Warrior Wrestling and check it out for yourself. My recollection of it, I remember losing my fucking mind, but I also remember Beastman,
00:21:12
Speaker
didn't move from the center of the ring for at least the first five minutes. He was mostly stationary. His movement was labored when it occurred. He did like that rolling cannonball on the outside. That was amazing. That's kind of the only thing I remember about him. That's the only move I remember for sure.
00:21:37
Speaker
You got actually faxes updating the Wikipedia page for I know. Yeah, you caught me red handed. I was reading more about Beastman. He has been well trained in death matches. So he's a deathmatch guy, a self-proclaimed. Oh, holy shit. Oh, my God. Are you telling me we could get at some point later this year, we could get Beastman versus Nick Gage?
00:22:03
Speaker
I mean, I think the more uncertainty is on the Nick Gage side. I don't know if we want to do, and do we want to talk about this? Yes, we do. Nick Gage, you can tell he's putting in the work right now. Have you been keeping up with his Instagram? A little bit here and there. I definitely don't follow it religiously, but I definitely have been following any time something on the Instagram leaks into any of the wrestling discourse happening online.
00:22:31
Speaker
He is, I wanna, I don't remember who he's working out with. I wanna say it's like, it's some of the younger GCW guys. So it might be like Nick Wayne and like Blake Christian, those guys, but he is putting in the work every day. He's got the workout videos. Wish I could spot Nick Gage. I'm a gang member, I'm affiliated. He'd be fine with that. So is he sort of playing, so Nick Wayne,
00:22:58
Speaker
is playing like, is to Nick Gage, like Jay Lethal is to Ric Flair. Oh my God. These training videos. If that is the trajectory of Nick Wayne's career, I'm honestly, I was mistaken. Do either of you guys, how do you feel about Nick Wayne? I assume Nick Wayne's a nice boy.
00:23:17
Speaker
I meant more in the sort of training thing. I like Nick Wayne. I think he's going places. He's at that stage right now where he's so much potential that sometimes I think he gets a little overrated because everyone can see like, well, if he's this good at 16, think about how good he'll be at 21. The ex has to go get there, but I like him. I enjoy watching him wrestle.
00:23:40
Speaker
And EC3 right now is just watching him going, when that boy becomes a problematic man, he is going to run this company. Yeah, how is Jay Lethal not controlling his narrative? Well, so the thing about Jay Lethal is, and you might not have noticed this,
00:23:59
Speaker
The demographics they're going for in Choose Your Narrative, he doesn't, so he did a job interview there and they just felt he wasn't a cultural fit, right? He didn't really feel what the culture of the company they were trying to generate. I don't know how to put this fax, but Garrett and I did watch a full 80-minute Control Your Narrative video on Friday night. And boy, do I regret that.
00:24:28
Speaker
There was one non-white wrestler on there, so they do have a friend. They have one friend. They have the one friend. Yes. Okay, so they're good, right? They're good. Facts, do you have any questions about Control Your Narrative? Because we got answers for you.
00:24:46
Speaker
Yeah, I don't. I don't know what you've answered. So so before we before we had the questions, I do have a lot of them. I do want to say that, Chris, it's it's sad for me to hear that you regret watching the show, but you probably don't regret it as much as MLW regrets signing and then releasing Beastman, which happened last year. They released him. They had him and they released him. The only person that they've ever let get out of a contract.
00:25:14
Speaker
I don't know how you let, that would be like the normal guy that broke up with Pam Anderson before she met Tommy Lee. This is impact letting Okada slip right through their fingers. Yeah, this is my friend from high school dating Lady Gaga and not knocking that down. Yeah, I mean, Okada you kind of knew was going back to Japan at least.
00:25:41
Speaker
And Lady Gaga was definitely sort of on a trajectory, you know what I mean? But Beastman could be wrestling Alexander Hammerstone for the title right now. And quite frankly, it'd be more exciting than anything else happening on that show.
00:25:54
Speaker
Got it. Only person I know that watches that show. And you bring it up often as if the rest of us are watching it. And I respect that about you. I mean, I haven't watched the show in a while. I did go to the show in June in New York just because it was literally 10 minutes from my house. And it was not a punishing length, which was enjoyable. But yeah, I mean, MLW, it's fine. You know, it's a thing. You can put it on the background. It's there.
00:26:23
Speaker
I think by the way, Choose Your Narrative is going to be interesting because I presume their biggest show of the year is going to come right on. You know, you have Wrestle Kingdom now on January 4th and 5th and then obviously January 6th would be the big, the big day for Choose Your Narrative.
The Show's Philosophical Tone
00:26:39
Speaker
So how did you guys control your capital? It's going to be the the pay per view. So how did your guys opinions on right to life change during your watching of it or the Second Amendment? Which one changed more? You know, what my opinion really changed on, I think, actually, it was the First Amendment.
00:27:08
Speaker
Because we think to ourselves, everyone should get to say stuff. But then I watched EC3 deliver a 15 minute monologue to open the show in a voice that was suggestive of a high school student performing Hamlet. And sweet Lord,
00:27:29
Speaker
None of this is exaggeration. I have to say it was so long. Let me let me ask them the first most direct question. Right. If you had to take a like, I don't know, 10 or 15 second or less clip, whether it's a spot, whether it's a part of a promo, an intro that you said that this would be the single best part of a segment to watch to get the vibe of the entire show. What would it be?
00:28:01
Speaker
Maybe Pero and that other wrestler sharing a warm beer after the, I don't know, goddamn. You can't cut any bit of dialogue down to 10 seconds, that's the problem. It is the talkiest fucking wrestling you've ever seen in your life, but not even in the ring. It is straight a promotion of EC3 monologuing, that is it.
00:28:28
Speaker
It's like if you knew that guy in college who was really affected by taking philosophy his freshman year and started using very, very big words and talking about like, you don't understand, man, it's the freedom of the person that leads to the journey of the soul
00:28:53
Speaker
And you're like, I don't know what you said. Like if you could pick one of the many EC3 sentences that sound like freshman philosophy gibberish and then cut it, just put it up against the weird black and white footage of them wrestling on what appeared to be paper snow. I don't really understand. Um, that would, I think do it. So.
00:29:19
Speaker
And I think I already know the answer to this, but, you know, let's just let me be the voice of the audience here. Is this being positioned that trading this, whatever it is, is clearly their choice and they would be doing this even if they were not fired from major wrestling promotions? Yes.
00:29:46
Speaker
Do they address that? Was that address that at all? Did they ever say anything that more or less reading between the lines was like, oh, yeah, I quit to start this. They didn't fire me. No, but they do talk a lot about not being controlled by, you know, old white men and, you know, cons, you know, they're talking about being, you know, basically alluding to like, you know, Vince McMahon didn't let me be me and model enough.
00:30:15
Speaker
That's right, because they were like, listen, when when we commit sexual atrocities on people, we don't hush it up. That's not controlling your narrative events, pussy. There there's a scene in it where EC3 and Zack Ryder share a meal at a diner together in front of what, a T-Mobile store?
00:30:39
Speaker
It's a T-Mobile store, yes. It's the only thing you can see framed in the shot outside the window. It's a T-Mobile store. Zack Ryder's on this? Their very first show. One and only appearance of Zack Ryder. He's clearly working on the character that would eventually wrestle Nick Gage and become something we all love. And EC3 is working on whatever is happening in his life.
00:31:01
Speaker
EC3 is already planning out this 20-date tour that he's going to do across the country with his other problematic strong boys. You could just see regret in Zack Ryder's face where he's like, I don't know where I'm going after WWE, but I'm pretty sure it's not here. So real question, real question after watching this.
00:31:24
Speaker
Not as a commercial enterprise, but as an artistic endeavor. What do you think EC3's top goal, like what do you think his version of outrageous success that he dreams about at night for this is?
Artistic Ambitions of EC3
00:31:39
Speaker
Again, as art, not commercially.
00:31:42
Speaker
I think he thinks this is going to play at Sundance at some point. I think he thinks he's written the most brilliant script and shot wrestling in such an interesting way where you're not allowed to flip or do any moves that excite people. I think this is an indie film. Are there cuts? Are there multiple camera angles? A lot of cutting. A lot of cuts. A lot of extreme close-ups.
00:32:08
Speaker
Have you ever wished that Corey Graves wasn't talking, but maybe a guy doing slam poetry over the wrestling? No. You can say no, because you know what? Maybe you're woke, maybe you aren't woke enough. I don't know what any of this means. There is one promo in the show that is definitely slam poetry.
00:32:35
Speaker
probably written by EC3, because I think he has a little too much control of everybody's narrative. Okay, so outside of EC3, who are the other ones, people that seem to be the most enthusiastically throwing themselves into this? Or is it really just EC3 than everybody else? Well, there was that former NWA champion. What was that guy's name? Oh, I've forgotten his name already.
00:33:01
Speaker
He looks like a guy who'd be the NWA champion five years ago. Jason Morgan or something. I can look this up. It's gonna bother me now. Truly doesn't matter. True. Jason Morgan or some other name that you would give if you needed a congressman who is secretly a white supremacist for a soap opera.
00:33:27
Speaker
I wish to got, I know like the next poster for their show needs to be that the what, Missouri Senator that's like given the power fist to the Capitol rioters and then just the entire roster of control your narrative running away in the Capitol. So next question then. I've got the name here. It's Jake Logan. Wow. He both won and lost the NWA national championship
00:33:57
Speaker
in 2016 to a man named Greg Anthony, who, let's be clear, does not have a Wikipedia page. And he is proud that he was the youngest NWA national champion, not the NWA heavyweight champion, the NWA national title, which is held currently by
00:34:20
Speaker
Shit. I don't know. Whoever Billy Corgan, whoever showed up to the most Billy Corgan concerts on his list. I'm only aware that that's even a title.
00:34:33
Speaker
because I'm aware of only one versus ever held it with cult cabana who literally shoved my face into his belt at uh in vegas for double I mean I was being a dick to him and I deserved it so just to be cool I'm not throwing shade on cult cabana it was a bit and it was a good bit we I don't think we ever posted on the internet but
00:34:53
Speaker
I do need to clear something up. It wasn't who attended the most Billy Corrigan shows. It was the one guy who had a Japanese import of that Zwan record. That was. That's that's how you get a push in the end of the way right now. All right, so I think I'm going to finish out my questions on on a two parter. And and I'd like for you to each answer this independently, if you could, or you know, do whatever feels right. Sure. So based on what you've seen,
00:35:22
Speaker
How well, perhaps on a five-star scale, would you rate their ability to control their narrative? That's part A of the question. And the part B of the question is, how would you describe that narrative? What is the narrative? Okay.
00:35:43
Speaker
I think five out of five stars for controlling the narrative. They don't make it easy to find this narrative. If you hide the narrative, it's controlled. Hide the narrative. As far as how easy is it to understand? They would never let Brian Daniel get to the WrestleMania 30 main event. That narrative was so fucking controlled. Oh yeah. By the libs.
00:36:11
Speaker
As far as how easy is the narrative, was that the second question? The second question was, what is the narrative? I think the narrative is, if you say nothing for long enough,
00:36:26
Speaker
people will think you're saying something. He really has truly nothing to say for such an extended period of time that you take nothing away from it. But by the end of it, you're like, maybe he had a point. Chris, same questions. So I'm actually gonna say one star for actually controlling the narrative because
00:36:53
Speaker
it's really easy to flip some of their narratives in ways that I do not think is intended by them. In fact, I am pretty sure that with, frankly, not even a lot of drinks, one or two drinks tops, we are gonna yell some stuff when we actually see control of your narrative in the fall that will get us kicked out because they are concerned about how we are changing their narrative.
00:37:22
Speaker
Um, here, here's what I think the narrative is though, that they're intending is what if Joe Rogan had a wrestling show? You know, what could, could we have a wrestling show where we just, you know, think about like what the truth might be, you know, like let's not take a perspective, man. Let's be open because maybe.
00:37:52
Speaker
Maybe the Nazis are right. Who knows? And we're never going to know if we don't listen to everyone's voice. We should be hearing at whatever length they require, particularly EC3, who Sweet Lord requires the most lengthy possible narrative.
00:38:17
Speaker
So I know I said that was the last question, but I lied. Okay. So there's just so much time for hours. I watched the sec. There is a second one that was on fight and I will watch this was to be clear. It's very hard to find control your narrative footage. There's two shows or whatever on fight. And we watched the first one. It was 80 minutes long. And let me tell you, felt like four hours.
00:38:44
Speaker
Yeah. So tell you what, this is what you can go ahead and do that. I will tell me how much it costs on fight and I will I will donate double that amount to any charity.
00:38:56
Speaker
as opposed to watching that show. Any charity of his choice, or any charity of Control Your Narrative's choice, please. No, no, of Chris's choice, or you two can decide. If you, whoever watches it, can decide of you guys. And I'll throw Derek in there, too, if he ends up watching it. Definitely not what EC3 would have me donate to. But, okay, so...
00:39:22
Speaker
I didn't think this would be as big a question, but now that you're describing it, I'm getting oddly more clear and more confused at the same time, which maybe was the goal. So pro wrestling is, you know, a fusion of athleticism and art. Right. But it's still based on the general kind of human stories of conflict. Right. Necessary unnecessary. They're all about conflict. Right. That's why you need a match.
00:39:51
Speaker
So what's the conflict here? Why is there wrestling? Oh, well the conflict 100% is everybody has internal struggles. This is, there's no question about that. Like any like verbal dispute between two men, no, that is not happening. This is all EC3 versus his own brain. And most of the things he's saying should probably be in a journal that no one sees.
00:40:19
Speaker
but there is wrestling, right? EC3 does eventually wrestle someone. So that's where I'm not seeing that connective issue. You're wrestling to express your internal journey. And why is the other person wrestling? Money. No, also to express their own internal journey. Each match is a collision of two men's internal journeys onto a path
00:40:49
Speaker
of, I think, enlightenment or something or emotional fulfillment.
The 'Rant Room' Experience
00:40:56
Speaker
I just imagine the way you're describing this, right, is I feel like we're painting and I am, too, and I am of them is, you know, a certain kind of right wing anti. Punisher with a blue line down the middle on the back of the pickup truck.
00:41:12
Speaker
for sure. Blue lives matter into a parking spot. That's totally. But then the way you're describing it, I also feel like this is going to be the first promotion that's going to air something on fight that's going to culminate in a man actually ass fucking another man right on screen because that would be the culmination and like in a romantic way. Don't get me wrong. There's nothing
00:41:40
Speaker
rapey about what I'm saying. It sounds like just legitimately two bros that respect each other and they just fuck. There are a couple of points where guys look deeply into each other's eyes. And again, I wouldn't be clear. That's great. And I think maybe wrestling needs more of that. But yeah, there's definitely a certain energy that they don't, I don't think
00:42:06
Speaker
I don't think they want to do a Canadian destroyer. What else are you supposed to do? So wait, what what what venue were they doing in the fall? In Jersey, they're doing the Starland Ballroom. Starland Ballroom. OK, that's not a huge venue in New York. They're doing somewhere in Brooklyn. I didn't recognize the venue. I have to look at it again. I remember we were talking about that. I also did not recognize the venue, but presumably somewhere fairly small. Did you get a gauge on like how many people were in attendance?
00:42:36
Speaker
Oh, no, there were not people at the show facts. OK, I didn't think so. Based on what you were saying, I thought that beforehand. This was shot in what appeared to be a garage. OK. With very dark, like if you didn't. Yeah, pitch black. It's like a pitch black garage. So.
00:42:57
Speaker
What do you think these live shows with audiences are going to be? That is what that is the question, facts. That is the question to do a show with audiences already. They have to lose them. Right. They did WrestleMania Weekend, I thought, which if the audience doesn't know, we have to tell them about what is the rant room.
00:43:16
Speaker
Cause surely nobody knows about this. I don't know about this. You don't know, you know, you know about the rant room. This is where you pay 300 bucks so you can go yell at Austin Aries face for three minutes without him touching you. Like that's, but at the end of the three minutes, he does put his crotch on your face. Is that real? That last part? No, I don't think, man. I don't know. I mean, obviously narrative controlled. This is an entire promotion in the Tyson zone, right? That anything could happen at any moment.
00:43:45
Speaker
Look, their website literally promotes not just wrestling merch and TV shows, but also something called Control Your Nutrition, which are spices for barbecuing food, which we will be testing on here. We will be testing that. Look, I want to be clear. I want to be clear to all the listeners. This is not a one-time thing where we're going to talk about Control Your Narrative.
00:44:12
Speaker
probably at least a couple minutes every week and there's gonna be a couple longer ones here. We're gonna go to some shows. I think we're gonna control our nutrition. We've been talking for 45 minutes and the audience is already tuned out like, wait, so there's gonna be more control? Yes, we're gonna do this until we have all of control your narrative's viewers, which is
00:44:38
Speaker
Who knows? Like, probably as many as listening to this right now. Well, I'll tell you what. This is actually the Control Your Narrative official podcast, sponsored by Blue Chew. I love it. I love it. Control your narrative, control your boners, Blue Chew. And you know what? We should have a slogan that, like, when I watch Choose Your Narrative after a chew, I get as engorged as Beastman.
00:45:08
Speaker
Yeah, like we can work them all in here. You got it. It is. Choose your narrative. Blue Choo. Yeah. All right. So maybe this has been a plea to what the three people that haven't given up on this podcast was. We'll post something on social media, either the New Jersey or the New York show. We'll figure it out.
00:45:33
Speaker
And we're going to go to that. We're going to get a big enough group. And if you are listening, you can be part of this group and we should ready some chance because you're right. They're going to kick us out. So we really got to get our money's worth quick. But I think an obvious one is just like a you should kiss, you should kiss, you know, get something like that. I'd love to do some traditional wrestling chants, but mostly about them kissing each other.
00:45:59
Speaker
I don't know if that'll work, but if you do a butt her emails chant, they'll probably love it. Yeah. Share your feelings. Share your feelings.
00:46:17
Speaker
Oh, well, so why don't we we pivot a little bit for a minute? I know we're going to probably go back to choosing a new man. Fuck you. You control your narrative. I'll control mine. So let me let me do what's going to be the transition question. How much did this this fight show cost for choose your narrative? We control our narrative by not answering that question.
00:46:40
Speaker
Do we know what MSRP is? I know you guys pawed it very legitimately. I'll just look it up. I'll look it up, what choose your narrative. Where I was going to say is, I bet it was less than the Ring of Honor show a few years ago.
00:46:58
Speaker
which, so let me just give this, and presumably if you're listening to the podcast, you know about this, but like it was what, 40 bucks, 50 bucks, $40 for a couple of rampage matches. And I remember, and I told this to you guys already, but for the user, the listeners benefit, I wasn't going to order it when I found out that was the price point. I was totally going to order at 20 wasn't going to order on 40 on principle. Then my, my,
00:47:24
Speaker
My plans kind of just shifted and I was gonna be home anyway and and my wife Was kind of just was told me doing my own thing. So my gosh screw it Maybe I will watch Ring of Honor I put on the YouTube pre-show and I turned it off midway through even though that was free. I Turned it off midway through and said no, I'm not I'm not I'm not
00:47:50
Speaker
I'm not doing this. I'm going to watch. I'm going to watch some random movie I've never heard of instead. Now, to be fair, people are saying that FTR Briscoes may have been worth the 40.
Ring of Honor Pay-Per-View Discussion
00:48:00
Speaker
I don't know. I have not seen it yet. But hearing that most of the matches made it worth the 40. But I'm with you. But here's my thing is. And I read some of the reviews and stuff like that. And honestly, if you just copy and pasted
00:48:18
Speaker
the matches from dynamite and rampage this week and put those into a ledger right next to the the pay-per-view ones like
00:48:29
Speaker
The wrestling's not any better. Like wrestling is very high quality right now, right? Like we don't pay 50 bucks for an AEW pay-per-view because of just good wrestling. That's just not good enough. And then it gets to be, well, what's the point of this was Jay Lethal against Samoa Joe substantially better than Jay Lethal against, you know, Christopher Daniels on Rampage the night before.
00:49:01
Speaker
Probably not. Again, I think the argument here is really, it's Briscoe's FDR, right? I don't think anything else. But my argument is, why did Tony Khan sign the Briscoe's to it? To me, it feels like not only are a lot of people not going to pay for that match, or anything with one match, but it's like, why aren't we getting that on Dynamite? I'm actually mad as an AEW fan that you're saying, is this just now,
00:49:31
Speaker
They're going to do a quarterly show with one match I want to see. It's just Tony Khan bought Ring of Honor just to run Briscoe's dream matches because someone told him he couldn't sign the Briscoe's because of Jay's old tweet. And so he's just the every quarter he's going to run a one Briscoe's dream match. And that's the only point of Ring of Honor. That's my understanding so far.
00:49:57
Speaker
So who, for the next one, who is EC3 teaming with to against the briskos? Oh, Braun Strowman. Oh yeah. That's, that was a no brainer. Yes. Or Nicholas, one of the two. No, here's, here's, here's the dream match. Here's the dream match. We want to see, uh, Jay Lethal's very, very large, um, Satinum Singh, very large friend, um, and beast man gets the briskos.
00:50:28
Speaker
In a wing eating contest. That dude is just going to swallow those bones. Yeah. So are the Briscoes. I mean, you've seen their mouths. That's yeah. They might not have the girth, but they've got the passion. And again, these things are timed. You don't have unlimited time to eat the wings. You've got like whatever eight minutes, 10 minutes, whatever it is.
00:50:54
Speaker
For real though, what would a dream match be between the Briscoes that could get you to pay $40? Last thing, I think without reviews of how good the match was, I'm not sure anything would get me to pay $40 if it's just that. I legit might pay the $40 for FTR Briscoes. I've heard really excellent things and I'd like to see that match. I love me some FTR. I mean, that's a controversial opinion here.
00:51:23
Speaker
But who would it take, who would it take for them to announce Wrestling The Briscoes that another show that you would pay $40 in advance, not knowing that you're going to get, you know, a four plus star, maybe five star match? I'm really not sure. Actually, here's what here's what might work is the pitch. It's it's it's FTR Young Bucks. 90 minute time limit.
00:51:51
Speaker
In other words, they can go as well. Like we've cleared out everything else. We're going to give the Dalton castle six man tag match six minutes because we're basically just going to be, because that's what my understanding is that they basically, the Frisco's and FTR got almost an hour. Um, if they're willing to do that, I, and that's the guarantees as an hour long FTR match on each ring of honor pay-per-view that might be worth 40 bucks. I don't know. You'd have to come out and say it. You have to be like, look, we're going to give them an hour.
00:52:19
Speaker
I see, again, I go the opposite direction is that what you're doing there, and again, the shows around WrestleMania into the big AEW show right after that is a great example where FTR wrestled this great match with the Briscoes then, and then weren't on the next AEW pay-per-view.
00:52:40
Speaker
so what you're gonna do is okay i'm just gonna buy the ring of all pay-per-view for and i'm not gonna buy the aw one anymore i don't know i'm just personally and i see this a lot online i think aw is losing a lot of steam i think people myself included it's just it's not that it's not good it's just i don't know it's just kind of
00:52:59
Speaker
not exciting. I don't think it's an emotional connection. I think it's, you know, when we talk about what we really love, because again, for those who may not know this, this three person triumvirates with quad with Derek's history, right? We all met at all in weekend, all very emotionally ready for what that show was. And all frankly, all I think
00:53:21
Speaker
I mean, it's fair to speak for you guys, right? Emotionally moved that weekend, right? I mean, that was one of the, my favorite experiences as a wrestling fan. It might be number one and it might, nothing might ever top it. Um, and I think what, what AWS lost recently is that sense of, um, emotional sort of completion in some of these, what they're building towards, they're building towards things that are.
00:53:44
Speaker
enjoyable and fun and not arguing that I'm enjoying the show. But when was the last time there was an emotional peak on AEW that really felt moving? I think it's tag men. I would say it was Dax's fight like an eight year old girl promo promoting a non AEW show. That's what I'm saying is they need more of this. I'm agreeing with you. So why the fuck do you do another show and move some of your, like it just doesn't make sense to me.
00:54:14
Speaker
Also, I do want to say for the record while we're recording, I agree with everything you said about All Out. It was the most emotional peak. I wouldn't say the since then too, I would say it was my emotional peak watching wrestling until we saw Beastman. And then that stirred up something new in me.
00:54:38
Speaker
Well, cause here's the thing though. Here's what, here's what's been lost in AWW over the last six months and why it's exciting that, you know, Vince is no longer running WWE and, and has, we have the ability to have a bit more here. I still don't buy by the way. Are you guys at least a little with me? Like I don't buy that he has no role. I do not that he has no role, but I do think the reports of really triple A it's kind of taken over on creative done losing power to the extent that's true.
00:55:08
Speaker
which again, we're so early, but if that's true, I do think, I'm sure Vince will have his voice, but it's kinda like your dad yelling at you to do stuff, and you could listen, but you could also not, you know? Yeah. Except for in Triple H's case, your father-in-law still literally owns the company. Sure. So while he may not be able to come back, he can totally fire you.
00:55:36
Speaker
I think he knows the bodies that he has buried under the crawl space. He knows federal investigation is happening. That guy's on a plane headed to Epstein's Island right now to just hide out. No one can find me. My son, son-in-law. Just him and Brock. He definitely bought Epstein's Island. Um, cause here's, here's what I want for WrestleMania next year. You know, WWE,
00:56:05
Speaker
grabbed from AEW, one of those premier storyteller types. I think we all have enjoyed some of the stories Cody has told. And we know that AEW has not been aggressive in signing the hottest free agent in wrestling, who is, of course, Beastman. And I mean, don't you think Triple H might let Cody wrestle Beastman at WrestleMania next year?
Future WrestleMania Speculation
00:56:33
Speaker
And frankly,
00:56:34
Speaker
wouldn't you give WWE money for that for the first time in a long time? Just saying. Here's the one downside is obviously Cody will give some color for that match. Of course. But it's so we'll be in but it's wing sauce.
00:56:57
Speaker
I just think Beastman's got to squash him. I feel like that match is disappointing. I feel like you do like Roosh Dalton Castle. You do Lesnar Cena at SummerSlam. Yeah, seriously. Yeah, it's a fair point. Cody's definitely going to want to go over. Okay. If we're going to fantasy book Beastman,
00:57:20
Speaker
And I would like to recycle a storyline. Daniel Bryan going into WrestleMania 30. Remember, he had to fight Triple H at the beginning of the night to get to that triple threat. I need Beastman twice in a six hour show. And you know what? He will need that five hours to recover from opening the show. He will. And so components.
00:57:47
Speaker
So will I. I mean, if I take blue chew before that, I'm going to need. You're going to have to call your doctor, man, because it's not going away. So, Garrett, who are the opponents in your dream? If you're if you're fantasy booking, who is he starting with and who's he ending with? And it has to be can WWE sign other people or we. Yeah, we're talking a year away. Yeah. Yeah. They've got all the money and again, they freed. They just freed up 15 million dollars a year.
00:58:17
Speaker
in three cashflow. Which covers Beastman's catering. And an opponent. Anybody, goddamn. This is... Well, here's... I think actually you don't stray from your original source here much. The first match is against Triple H. And you just see whose heart can actually last. It's a...
00:58:45
Speaker
loser dies of a heart attack match. Okay. It's an engine. No, no, wait, wait. You have some kind of cardiac monitor of monitoring their angina during it. And whoever, like a doctor, an actual doctor is throwing the towel. And then if, if, if beast man wins, he then graduates to the main event where of course he'd be going against EC3 and Brown Strowman.
00:59:15
Speaker
who are trying to control his narrative. They've become such a runaway success with choosing your narrative that the billion-dollar WWE company acquires them to run it. Triple H is actually just talent, actually. He's not actually running the company. EC3 is. And they're running a storyline where they're even more than the authority. They're creative. And they are literally choosing his narrative
00:59:45
Speaker
and he has to dig the fourth wall. Let me control Beastman's narrative here for just a second. So we get to the final match. We got EC3 and Braun Strowman, you say? Yeah. It's a triple threat. Okay. So what if, we might have to steal from another match here. We're gonna have to do a Cody spot.
01:00:06
Speaker
Beastman, very early in the match, has a heart attack. The referee has to throw up the X so that the crowd, you know, we're smart people, we know what that X means. Beastman leaves on a stretcher carried by 15 people.
01:00:22
Speaker
and he goes to the back. Now we get two workhorses, two guys who can carry a match for another 20 minutes. We get Braun Strowman in EC3. This is what we've been asking for. But towards the end of that match, he comes out, taped up a little bit to show that he is coming back from a fucking heart attack.
01:00:44
Speaker
to fight these two guys, gets the title, gets our WrestleMania moment. We're all crying when he got to that promo at the end. He hugs that little cancer boy in the front and we lose our shit. You know, I love it, but I think we're still thinking too small. I think WrestleMania itself is too small for Beastman. I think what happens, this is not my fantasy, my fantasy booking over my previous fantasy booking,
01:01:14
Speaker
is George RR Martin comes out with the actual end to Game of Thrones that he wanted. And they refilm the last season based on the actual Martin text, right? It's like the Snyder cut. And they just completely drop all of the storylines and it just becomes all about Beastman.
01:01:39
Speaker
And just a lot, like a lot of full frontal nudity of Beastman. Just eating very saucy, juicy meat, just dripping all over him. And that's the show. That's the new season of Game of Thrones. It breaks all television records. I mean,
01:02:06
Speaker
Eventually him and Hodor get the tag titles. So we're talking, I did want to, one point here before, because I, this is a preview, I did want to preview this, this weekend is SummerSlam. Speaking of heart attacks in the ring. Because Garrett, we mentioned you're going to this, looks like, looks like quite frankly, a good show right before
Concerns for Ric Flair's Health
01:02:30
Speaker
Again, this is a man with plantar fasciitis, a pacemaker, a history of drinking who was basically dead several years ago. Yeah. I mean, Garrett, do you feel emotionally conflicted about going to the show?
01:02:44
Speaker
And wait, just to be clear, I wanna clarify, when you say this is a good show that Garrett's going to, we are not talking about SummerSlam. That's gonna be a horrible show, and Garrett, I hope you're not going to it. Oh, Garrett is going to SummerSlam. He went a little bit against his, no, Jeff is gonna be really sad if he hears me say I'm going against my will. I agreed to go, I had very low expectations, Barr was so low, she went way under the moon.
01:03:12
Speaker
It's okay. It's fine. Listen, I'd be a hypocrite. I literally was in Dallas mania weekend just to see GCW and then was with friends and impulse bought mania night one tickets for stone cold the day of so I get it. Let's go back to your thoughts on watching one of your childhood heroes die right in front of you. I think it's an honor.
01:03:37
Speaker
that he chose me to die in front of. He could have died in front of so many people. He could have picked so many cities to die in. Well, how in history are the people in the Carolinas, by the way, that this is happening in Nashville? You know, it is, is there a true reason it's in Nashville other than it's SummerSlam weekend and StarCast? That's gotta be it. I mean, it's a look, it's not that, I mean, if you're living Greensboro, I mean, you can get to Nashville in what, six hours? I don't know.
01:04:04
Speaker
There's also probably tax reasons, right? Tennessee, the income tax restrictions are pretty loose, right? Carolinas are closer to a normal state. Elderly abuse laws are pretty lax here as well. Yeah, exactly. The Tennessee State Athletic Commission has been clearing near-dead wrestlers for a century now.
01:04:25
Speaker
It's well, actually, if you think about it, the only doctor we know of in a high position in Tennessee is Dr. Isaac Yankum, DDS, who is legitimately a political power figure in the state of Tennessee. He checked Flair's teeth and they are fine.
01:04:45
Speaker
We checked like, but not in a way that a dentist would more like you would a horse. Oh, you know, just like opened it, looked in like he's fit to like the way you would a really old horse that can't run anymore that you were just looking and go, yep, still alive.
01:05:02
Speaker
You got one more race before we gun you down behind the shed? Yeah. I mean, the glue wouldn't be any good at this point. So you might as well just let him run. That's actually what Conrad's selling. He's selling little bits of the Ric Flair glue after they melt him down after this match.
01:05:22
Speaker
That's right. This match, like honest to God, this whole thing has been so carny. The card is legitimately good. What's the match? For those who might not have heard, what is the match? It is Ric Flair and his son-in-law, Andrade Alidolo, versus Jay Lethal, and for some fucking reason, Jeff Jarrett. Yep.
01:05:49
Speaker
Who likes one of my favorites as a kid. Yeah, but you do have to wonder, right? So again, this is actually the entire card is fairly stacked. They're in a big arena. They're selling this for a lot of money on pay-per-view. It's going to get a lot of buys. This is really generating revenue. So they're spending money on this.
01:06:07
Speaker
And obviously, you want to get somebody old school, right? Jay Lethal has that obvious connection to Flair. Andrade, as you mentioned, is his legitimate in real life son-in-law. That makes sense. Jared, like, Jared as the classic guy. Not Sting. Not Tully. Not Arn.
01:06:31
Speaker
Well, it's a matter too of how many dudes said no before they got to Jeff Jarrett, who lives in town. They don't have to pay for a flight for him. Like, you know, he for some reason is a guest referee at SummerSlam for a tag match. He has nothing to do with. I'm just saying as a fan, the fact that Ric Flair, I'm not saying Conrad, I'm not saying the money. I'm saying that Ric Flair couldn't get somebody better to do this match.
01:07:02
Speaker
it's a little sad who wants to touch this match though like i can't believe that his other son-in-law is making money off this mat where he's like honestly god chris said one of the funniest legitimate son-in-laws are actually making money off this event which kind of seems like they could be accessories to murder
01:07:25
Speaker
And honestly, all of us that bought a ticket, like, if he doesn't die, I will probably forget about this night. But if he does die at the end and we truly get like a Mickey Rourke the wrestler moment,
01:07:39
Speaker
I'll be talking about this the rest of my life and I'll probably buy, you know, a t-shirt on the way out the building if they want. Well, and just because you brought up Mickey Rourke, because here's the spoiler alert. If he doesn't die, this isn't his last match, right? Like if this, if this does, you know, half a million in revenue on pay-per-view or something, and then it does another half a million on the gate, and then some of the cuts and concessions and merch, right? If this is a money maker,
01:08:06
Speaker
And he doesn't die. He's going to keep doing this outside of every mania, Royal Rumble and SummerSlam until he does die. Do you know how much the front row to this show cost? I do. Do I even want to know? I'm going to guess 2,500. You were close. It was two grand.
01:08:29
Speaker
That's so grand for every fucking seat in that front row. And it was sold out because it was a star cast package where you got like the flares last mass match package. We got like a platinum wristband and a front row ticket to this show. If you spent the two grand, do you get to go to the funeral with incontinence private limo? Because Conrad would sell that. Right. It's got sponsors all over the side of it like it's a NASCAR on the way.
01:08:59
Speaker
It's a limo, it's a black limo with a save with Conrad and blue chew logo on the side. Rick Flair's casket has a DuPont logo on it. Oh my god, I just realized. Flair does die. Conrad comes out afterwards. Turns goes full heel. He planned it.
01:09:22
Speaker
I killed him and there's legitimately dead, then goes into pulls out the beast man mask. Conrad was beast man the entire time. He makes himself the biggest star in wrestling history in one night. Main event and main events media against Cody.
01:09:46
Speaker
I mean, if it is also, I mean, we're, we're just, we're not even mentioning that Brock Lesnar, no show at Smackdown. So he did show up. Oh, he did show up. He, he f fived Austin, not Austin Aries, Austin theory. Ah, yeah. Apparently they've got him to come back. Triple H was like, Hey man, remember those millions of dollars. You just have to show up like three more times. And he was like, fair.
01:10:12
Speaker
Right. This will be my fourth, there are going to have been eight of these matches. This will be my fourth time seeing it. And at least one or two of them, at least two of them, right, happened in Saudi Arabia. So of the ones that happened in this country, you're basically a complete Iscariot. You're basically following this around. You are, instead of a dead head, you're a Brock head, which is very flat.
01:10:44
Speaker
That's immediately after, if this is the last one, I'm getting that sword tattoo pointed right at my blue chew-filled penis, just to commemorate the good times we had at all these matches. Yeah.
01:10:59
Speaker
You should, I mean, I did see there, there are websites that sell like temporary, but like large, like tattoos. I do think it would be pretty great Garrett, if you could get a temporary version of the sword tattoo to wear shirtless to summer. It'll be hot. So, you know, it's, uh, it's natural in the summer. I mean, you're going to be sweating. You're going to want to be shirtless.
01:11:23
Speaker
This show's gonna be so weird, man. They only sold half the stadium. They literally cut the stadium in half. Half of the stadium was not even sold. Like, they didn't even put it on sale. Like, it's blacked out. They still sold like 30,000 tickets or something, right? I mean, it's a lot of tickets. It's good for them, you know?
01:11:38
Speaker
That, yeah, I guess. And also, we didn't even talk about the rest of this Flair card. The rest of the card legitimately, like, it looks interesting. Yeah, minus the Flair match. If this were just an indie show that showed up to my town, I'd pay 20 bucks to go see that. No doubt about it. I definitely would buy it on fight. I wouldn't even, it wouldn't even be a, it'd be no brainer. But honestly, I legitimately don't think I'm gonna order it on fight.
01:12:08
Speaker
Or I'll order the replay after I know whether Flair survives or not. It might not be on fight after that. Here's the question, Vax. I don't want to see it if he does die, Garrett. If that wasn't clear, you don't want to see him. I was asking if he survives, you're watching the show, Vax.
01:12:26
Speaker
I think if, again, assuming the other matches are good, and assuming that that is either, it's not gonna be a good match, right? We can all agree that there's zero chance of it being good, but if it's like so bad it's good, and they kind of keep it like Adam West Batman, but wrestling or something, I don't quite know what I'd be, then yeah, I think I would order it. Pow, biff, sexual assault.
01:12:57
Speaker
Yeah. Well, if it is his last message, that would be him and Vince both going down for the count within a few weeks of each other as two of the two of the most infamous dick swingers in wrestling history. Probably the two most infamous. I can't get past the fact that you don't want to watch someone pass away in real time. Like, I think you and I
01:13:20
Speaker
grew up differently. Like, I remember an afternoon running in six phases of death. You're, you're, you're, you're twisting my words here. If this was a Masawa situation and he was still wrestling good work and dying in the ring, that is a glorious way to go out to be celebrated. I would love to be there. This would be a sad despondent old man being murdered.
01:13:49
Speaker
That is a little less fun for me. But it's legal. It's legal for you to watch it. You know, like I can't afford to go do one of those hostile rooms. This is the only way I can afford to be part of a murder. Yeah. I'm I'm really undecided. I really think there's. Man, it is tempting because it's going to be it's going to be a pretty weird match, and I do think the
01:14:17
Speaker
will he or won't he of again to be clear dying is intriguing like I mean that's once you know is it really going to be as exciting yeah do you want to watch lost after you know the ending you know you got a I mean I I see I see your point although I now realize what the clear endgame of this is
01:14:43
Speaker
The Beastman thing was a joke. Conrad is resetting the board here. Flair dies. Jeff Jarrett's the Patsy. He's gonna go to prison for a long time for this murder. All of a sudden, who's the biggest old school name in Southern wrestling? It's Conrad, right? Jim Cornette?
01:15:08
Speaker
It's Conrad. It's a one way, with one fell swoop, he's getting rid of Flair and Jeff Jarrett. He becomes the Tony Khan and Triple H can't run Georgia without Conrad.
01:15:31
Speaker
I don't know if I like that ending, but you know, if that's the ending, I gotta accept it. We can go back to change your narrative for one last final. So, hey, why don't you tell us about the narrative? What do you think we're going to talk about next time and when do you think that's going to be?
01:15:51
Speaker
Hey everybody, it seems as I was getting ready to answer that question that our audio feed cut out and stopped recording. But hey, you know what? We will be back next week. This is going to become a regular thing again. You're going to hear all of us. And next week we will most certainly be talking about everything I attend SummerSlam weekend. You know, is there going to be more Control Your Narrative Talk in Beastman? Probably. But mostly we'll be talking about I'm going to a bunch of things I'm doing.
01:16:17
Speaker
Let's see, SummerSlam, Flair's Last Match, Starcast, New Japan, GCW. So I have a full weekend of stuff. I will let you know how everything goes here. And also, I did find out last minute that Beastman will be performing at a gym five minutes from my house.
01:16:37
Speaker
I mean, I have to go to that, right? I think it's in a parking lot. Gangrel will be there. Brian Cage will be there. Beastman. That is a pay-per-view I would pay any dollar amount to see, but I don't have to pay crazy money. I just go five minutes from housing scene in a parking lot. But we'll talk to you next week. We'll put these out on Thursdays. It's awesome having you guys back. We're looking forward to talking to you.
01:17:02
Speaker
And yeah, have a good weekend, guys. Enjoy SummerSlam. On behalf of me, Fax, and Chris, have a good weekend.