Transcript
Speaker: Hello and welcome to Kalarindan, the hireling chronicles.
Speaker: Kalarindan is an actual play Dungeons and Dragons podcast in which we will actually play Dungeons and Dragons as a podcast. My name is David Case LeClaire and I will be the narrator and game master for these sessions.
Speaker: Clarendon is a world of magic and adventure, a world of misty moorlands, windswept wolds, and drizzling downs. It is a world perpetually beset by the forces of chaos, but every time the darkness returns, epic heroes rise to save the realm.
Speaker: But our story is not about the Epic Heroes, at least not directly. Our story is about three novice adventurers that have recently agreed to carry the Epic Heroes baggage. And joining me as the hardy hirelings, we have Beth Gleason as... Lilia Thomas.
Speaker: And my favorite flower are pansies because they go beautifully in salad. And Dave Sergis as... Fredegar, the Firbolg farmer who is big and sometimes also tall, but not all the time.
Speaker: And turnips do have flowers, but it is typically a bad sign to see them. It means your turnips have bolted and gone to seed, which is not great. So I would say Fred's favorite flowers are probably just sort of in general the patch of flowers that his mother had grown near their old house.
Speaker: And when he misses his mother, he goes and has a little chat with them. Very nice. And Drew Gleason as... Darwinius Gorf Nozzlesnot. Snot favorite flower people call muckwort is swamp flower, yellow, but only can find a little time.
Speaker: Snot can find all the time. and Very pretty, very delicious. If any of those flowers show up, I guess we'll know that you like them.
Speaker: Got this. Beautiful, yeah!
Speaker: In our last episode, our adventurers were hunted by Fomorian warriors through the foothills as they searched for the magical dust that could cure their fey sickness.
Speaker: In a dramatic standoff at Fratilda's cabin, Talonvor proved his quality and defeated the entire enemy force. With the sickness cured, the hirelings have returned to Mud Puddle to find an axe stuck in a table at the Adventurers Guild.
Speaker: Could this mean the arrival of another epic hero? Yeah, that's pretty much
Speaker: The morning dawns in Mud Puddle. A gray and overcast day. After returning from the mountains the prior day, or at least the foothills, having cured the strange fey sickness that afflicted both Lily and Talonvor, things are looking up. As the three of you arrive in the Mud Puddle Adventurer's Guild tavern for your breakfast, you hear some shouting from the kitchen.
Speaker: Shouting is not breakfast. An unfamiliar voice saying, don't you call that a breakfast? They call them greens, you know, not browns. Don't you call that a sausage?
Speaker: I see bigger sausages. And the voice is cut off. then there's a loud thump noise as the kitchen door flies open and a dwarf comes striding into the room.
Speaker: She is just shy of five feet tall and has, you know, somewhat ample girth. She's wearing a heavy woolen skirt and a rugged blouse with a floral pattern on it. She has wild reddish hair. It's pulled back in an unruly cascade.
Speaker: And she has a small patch of reddish hair on her chin in a tight braid. She sighs heavily. She looks around the room. She says, I don't know how you are still alive eating that slop.
Speaker: Oh, uh, Topaz Flimflakes at your service. Who be you then? Snot has flattened himself against the wall next to the door. He's not inherently frightened of dwarves, but this one's coming on so strong that he wants to not be noticed.
Speaker: Okay, I'll make a stealth check. Eight.
Speaker: All right. Doesn't seem to be directing her anger at you, but she definitely is clocked that you are there and is keeping an eye on you. I'll, um, look at my companions, put my eyebrow up at Snot, and step forward and say, Oh, hello, I'm Lily.
Speaker: We're the hirelings? Ah, so you are. Lily, is it? And, uh, what's your name, Master Furbolg? Uh, I'm, uh, Fredegar. It's, uh, it's a pleasure to meet you, uh, um, Fred's sort of struggling to pick an honorific to use here.
Speaker: It's Topaz. It's not hard. Uh, uh, uh, Master Topaz? Uh, uh, uh, Master Topaz? It's alright, and who's your greasy little goblin over there? Oh, that that's Mr. Snot.
Speaker: Snot's sort of looking left and right. He's actually quite a bit cleaner than he looks. Aye, sounds about right. Is Snot greasy goblin? Snot sort of points at himself.
Speaker: Talking about other goblin or snot? Well, I guess I'm talking about snot. Oh. Usually, goblins are on the other end of my axe.
Speaker: Snot starts very slowly sidestepping towards the door. ah She goes over to the middle of the room and and her axe is still buried in a table there. was going to say that, yeah.
Speaker: She grabs it by the handle and with a big yank, pulls it out. Snot is out the door. She's like, oh, all right, he's gone. Ah, so that's your axe then.
Speaker: Aye, that's right. Couldn't remember where I left it. Fred is unamused by this answer, but doesn't say anything. Master Furburlg and, uh, and you there, Alas. Well, why don't you get your stuff?
Speaker: Let's get going. Where are we going? Well, we got a quest. We gotta go. But what about Snot? but We'll get him all the way. Okay. It'll just be a minute. Just a minute.
Speaker: Well, have to get my... Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. Get your gear, whatever you need. Might be out, uh, might not be returning until tomorrow, uh, need anything for, uh, camping out. From just to the outside the front door, you hear, Snot ran away.
Speaker: think Fred will go to retrieve Snot. Snot is underneath stairs as he's frequently hidden. In the front porch? Yeah. Okay. So Muddy's got her head poking under the the porch trying to figure out what you're doing under there.
Speaker: Snot's trying to shoo Muddy away. Muddy, no. Snot hiding. Get away. When it's obvious that Fred is coming out, Snot's going to poke his head around.
Speaker: Turnip guy, you not tell Dwarf where Snot is. All right, but we would like you to come along if you're up for it. Quest? Yep, and you know what that means. Five gold.
Speaker: There it is. Okay, you keep Dwarf away from Snot. All right. If she gives you any trouble, you just let me know. Okay. Snott's pulling himself from under the stairs, and he walks to Fred.
Speaker: Fredgar is best turnip guy. He pats the side of your knee ah and there waits to follow you inside so that he can keep you between and and any dwarven axes.
Speaker: Right. Yeah, fred all Fred is happy to run interference. i'm I'm sure she's just, you know, being a legendary hero at all. She's got to gotta to put up a tough front. I'm sure she's quite nice to people who aren't tables.
Speaker: you We'll see. Sock points at the table on your back. Point taken. Lily will come downstairs in a few minutes with her stuff. Okay, Sharnadon has shown up in the tavern's main room and is chatting with Topaz.
Speaker: Oh, oh, Topaz? Ah, you have arrived? Topaz is like, Oi, we won. See you're here already. Where's Talonvor? Oh, ah, he's sleeping.
Speaker: He is very sick and he's recovering. Ah, perfect. Well, I'll be taking the Hyalurians down for the day. Oh, is that, uh, is that okay?
Speaker: Of course it's okay. What are you talking about? Don't tell Tal. All right, we're going.
Speaker: Fred's looking a little bit less sure about this whole thing, but still doesn't say anything. It's not just shuffling around to always be behind Fred relative to Topaz. He's not really hiding.
Speaker: He's just out of view, that makes any sense. Yeah, I think we've seen this from Snot before. and we We all understand how the game works. Topaz has picked up a small rucksack. She's sling over her back and she's got her axe slung over her other shoulder.
Speaker: She's like, all right, well, let's go for the days of wasting. All right. you have any luggage we should be taking care of or? Oh, I'm good. But if you need any ah bedrolls or anything like that, then you might want to get them now.
Speaker: Yeah, Fritz's backpack is mostly full of food, but that's okay. That will also come in handy, I'm sure. I have a question. Snot know that dwarves can be boys or girls?
Speaker: I mean, I feel like that's a question that only you can answer. Okay. All right, then I'm just putting it out there. This is not something Snot has ever considered. They're just dwarves.
Speaker: Yeah. All right. So you gather your things. Are you going to bring Swifthoof or are you just going to go with what you're carrying? I think Fred would bring Swifthoof around from okay from the donkey valet. Yeah, somebody get Swifthoof out of the ah horse garage.
Speaker: All right, so he brings Swifthoof around and and gets some stuff piled on her. Tovaz is kind of given a little bit of an uncertain eye towards the donkey. She's like, what's up? Is that for lunch? Fred is taken aback again. ah this This is Miss Swifthoof, and she is... Fred's trying to remember what Talonvor called her.
Speaker: sounded better than just donkey. She's the the queen of the something or other, this this one here. All right. ah She looks like she might be more used than the Goblin anyway.
Speaker: I wouldn't sell Mr. Snot short. Snot is up by Swift Hoof's head and is whispering some stuff to Swift Hoof to make sure she's careful about the dwarf.
Speaker: He certainly saved our bacon a few times. He's very helpful. If we think back to the montage, Snot absolutely did not save any bacon.
Speaker: Metaphorically, the bacon of our friendship. Snot could hardly have failed worse on the saving bacon.
Speaker: Topaz shakes her head. She's like, well, all right. i We're still all learning about each other, so we'll see how it goes. And she starts tromping off to the south of town.
Speaker: We'll follow. All right. She's clearly a dwarf of action. Fred will follow and lead the donkey. Swift, if dwarf tried to eat you, you kick. Kick, dwarf.
Speaker: Snot is going to take his usual position. Well, one of his two usual positions. He is leading Swifthoof rather than scouting. Okay. And he's keeping well towards the back away from Topaz.
Speaker: Yeah, she's given no indication where you are going. But you know that there is almost nothing south of Mud Puddle. It's an area known as the Bracken Moors, and it's just large set of rolling hills, just wilderness and vegetation.
Speaker: It's not really suitable for farming or anything like that. Can I establish, did we get breakfast before the dwarf interrupted it or not? Uh, you did not.
Speaker: um Okay. Rumbly bellies. Indeed. right. As you walk south... Leaving mud puddle behind in the comfort of the familiar town and fields, you head until the wilderness of the Bracken Moors. It's an area of rolling hills and treacherous gullies covered in a deep, rugged foliage that grasps at your feet as you walk.
Speaker: There are no trails through the moors, and it is slow going over the rough and inhospitable land.
Speaker: Although there is a wild kind of beauty to the fields. As the green and yellow grass is splashed with stretches of faded periwinkle and mulberry hues.
Speaker: I wrote this in advance.
Speaker: Turnip guy. Hey. Snot is using his stage whisper to try and get Fred's attention. Yes, Mr. Snot. Where we go? No path this way.
Speaker: Fred looks up at the sun, uh, south, I would say. Hmm. Snot points into the tangled moors that we're heading into and says, no, no path.
Speaker: Nothing here. Uh, that does seem to be the case, but, uh, that's, that's what makes it an adventure, eh? It's not just stares at you. They're just trying to make the best of it.
Speaker: Ask Dwarf. Hmm. Fred tries to pick up the pace a little bit to catch up with Topaz. The grass is ah up to maybe her her knees or so. She's just forging paths straight through it, although it's a little slower than just walking on a road, but it's not fully difficult terrain.
Speaker: Is Snot keeping up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Snot's fine. Snot, he's got Muddy's feed bag on, but he is occasionally reaching into it around Muddy's chomping teeth and taking some oats out for himself.
Speaker: I think you mean Swift Hoof. I do. Not Muddy. Yeah, Muddy's got a feedback. okay let me try it again. For a moment there, I thought you had Muddy's feedback on on yourself. Wow. kind like Are you both wearing it? That's a little weird. Snot has given Swift Hoof her feedback, okay but he is occasionally reaching into it.
Speaker: carefully avoiding her teeth and sneaking some oats out for himself to keep his his belly from growling too loud. Nothing like uncooked oats. I've definitely got the picture. Now there's probably some carrots in there too, little bits of apple.
Speaker: Not anymore. If you're lucky, you get a sugar cube. Snot is not desperate enough to steal a sugar cube from a deserving donkey. So Topaz looks around as Fred pulls up next to her. She's like, oh, tell me about yourself, Master Furbolg.
Speaker: Oh, uh, not sure there's that much to say, really. I'm from the farms over on the damp side of the river. Mostly turnips, couple of sheep. I'll try to keep things simple. She's little nonplussed by this.
Speaker: Right, but you're an adventurer though, right? Well, I'm a member of the Mud Puddle Adventuring Guild, but I would say more of a hireling at this point.
Speaker: Well, it looks like I could carry a few things, so I think you'll be quite useful to us. Oh, that's very kind of you to say, Master Topaz. Now look, good tell me about your friends. They got any, uh... Well, I can see Lily looks pretty competent. She's got that long sword.
Speaker: Bet she could ah slash a few goblins, if you know what i mean. Oh, she she can and she has, to be sure. Yes, and she's quite a miraculous young young lady.
Speaker: oh Saved my life more than once. And what about Master Goblin over there? Uh, well, Mr. Snot is, uh... The edgy one. He's, uh... He's a bit nervous, I suppose, but... Oh, I would be too if I was next to me and I was a goblin.
Speaker: there Fair, fair. Um, but no, he's, uh... Do you know my axe is named Gob Chopper? Oh. Do you know why? Everlasting Gob Chopper. I do not know.
Speaker: Well, perhaps we'll find out one day. But, uh, no, Mr. Snot uh... I did. I must admit, I did mistake him for a rather filthy child at first, but... It turns out he's a filthy man.
Speaker: is very talented fellow, excellent guide in the swamps, and he knows quite a few tricks. All right. Now, Talonvor, he's not been messing around with you, doing anything crazy, right?
Speaker: I don't know what you mean. Making you get any of that ridiculous stuff he puts in his mouth every day. Ah, the mouth paste. Aye, that's the stuff. What's that about? hers though I'm afraid i I can't tell you that, but there's been a bit of mouth paste.
Speaker: bit of a mouth paste situation, but under control. Aye. It's all a bit fancy for my tastes. does It does seem that.
Speaker: I'll not give you two carrots later. I'll not take this one. Ha ha!
Speaker: Topaz calls back. Hey, you know, keepin' up alright back there? We got ways to go. Where are we going? Oh, uh, right. I guess I didn't fill you in.
Speaker: I would just need to pick up me armor. I left it on the way. Is there a town down here? Ah, no. I shouldn't think so. You just left it in the middle of the road?
Speaker: Well, there's no road either. So you just left it in the middle of the field? Uh, no, wasn't a field. You're getting closer, to though.
Speaker: Two syllables. Sounds like... Not thinking you're getting closer to anything. Well, it's a bit of a walk. I'd say about about four or five leagues to go.
Speaker: i hope I get there before night. Why exactly did you leave your armor in the middle of a something? Uh, well, it was a bit of a Situation.
Speaker: See, i was ah I was walking up here from the frost fields, and I came across these moors, as you say, about five leagues south of the here. but I saw a grove of trees in a little dell.
Speaker: I thought, I'll check it out. And then as I got closer, there was this kind of forest spirit-y kind of maiden peeking out at me. So I thought it'd be rude not to say hello. You know. there short version?
Speaker: You're the short version, goblin. Oof. not scal Shot's fired. So anyway, I'll speed it up a bit. So i was getting on fine with this ah dryad kind of lady.
Speaker: And then there's this terrible tree. Green eyes and horrid, sappy maw glaring at me. And this bloke says, you're defiling a sacred space. And I, uh, there's a whole troop of spiky trees gathered around him. So I grabbed my axe and my skirt and I scarpered out of there.
Speaker: wasn't until I was a good league away that I realized I'd left me armor. So we're just going pop back there and pick it up. So that raises his hand towards the back. Why do you take armor off?
Speaker: ah Well, it's pretty heavy and awkward. So. So. Tree stole of armor. Well, they left it there. It's probably just lying there in the grove and we'll just sneak in and grab it.
Speaker: And well, I have to camp out because it's a Take us a while to walk down there, but then ah we head back home. Ah, Bob's your uncle. No. No, it's not uncle. He looks sort of downcast.
Speaker: Ethan by snap tooth.
Speaker: But we get to revenge. He sure did. Oh, that sounds like a good story. I mean, we got quite a bit of time to walk in down there. So if you got any stories or any songs or anything you like, just pipe on right up.
Speaker: It's not cyber as go up at the mention of songs.
Speaker: Ah, you know one about Three-Gam-Boo? Well, I don't know it, but if you just start, I'm sure we'll join in. Turnip guy, you know? Hmm. I don't recognize the name, but maybe you start humming it?
Speaker: Okay. Uh... Rigabamboo. What is that?
Speaker: Uh, something made like Princess Pat.
Speaker: Uh... Usually, Snot hums this part. It hurts.
Speaker: It's not usually when to struggle with songs. It does sound like usually he's making them up as he goes, but he kind of just s sinks back lost in thought at this, trying to remember how this particular one goes. He's just not feeling the singing as we struggle through this course.
Speaker: Snock trails off and Tobaz turns back to this, well, do you know want the one about Limbo Buggins? No? Yeah. not Not your favorite? but He's not my favorite either, honestly.
Speaker: Bit of a wandering hand syndrome. Do you know what i mean? like Oh, dear. um That's a lucky thing. You still had both of them when we got back. Goblins have different name for that guy.
Speaker: Goblins call stupid fat hobbit.
Speaker: Well, I'm with you on that one. He was the widest of the stout fellows, as they say. say They do say that. Okay, you sing about Blimbo. I'll sing now.
Speaker: All right, so she she goes right in. Rise the sails and swab them gates. That's what Blimbo Buggins hates. Sail across the misty seas with dwarves at number 17. The widest of the stout fellows was he, Blimbo. Blimbo Buggins. And she goes on like this for a while.
Speaker: Oh, Slot knows this one, so he's gonna he's got you doing join in after a bit. Okay. On the chorus, anyway. And the rap breakdown. Bimble, Bimble Buggins, stupid fat hobbit.
Speaker: All right. In this way, the time passes, and it is ah continues to be a struggle throughout um all of the morning. We stop for a break for whatever food people have with them for lunch.
Speaker: No, we don't. We didn't bring any food. Nobody fucking told us we were... No, no, no, no. Fred has a sack full of food. Yeah, Fred has like a framed backpack with nothing but food it. Oh. And I think Lily has... I have rations, yes. Like 30 pounds of rations or something stupid like that.
Speaker: I think Snot's bag is sadly deflated after recent events. Yeah, quicklings. Get in there and... Yeah. So he's very excited to see that other people have brought food. After a much too short break, Topaz gets everybody back up and back on the trail.
Speaker: Nothing changes out here. The same hills, the same kind of course that you're stumbling through. As the afternoon wears on, Topaz sort of hushes you all and says, all right, we're getting close. It should be just up ahead. Are there trees around?
Speaker: um Not from where you can see. There is a large hill ahead of you. so she sort of motions you up and has you duck down and she goes up to the top of the hill. Ah, turn up guy.
Speaker: Dwarf very stupid. There's no tree here. Well, I don't see a tree that is to agree with you on that one. Maybe over the hill?
Speaker: But maybe they're magic trees.
Speaker: What is magic tree? You're about to find out For those of you who make your way up to the top of the hill, as you get to the top of the hill and peer over the side, you see that there is kind of a dell ahead of you ah where and several hills rise around it, so it's kind of a lower area.
Speaker: There is a small stand of trees down there. Dude, we're getting a dell.
Speaker: The grove is not very big, maybe about 50 feet across, and it's all down in this valley. Around the edges of it, there are particularly large trees that have a petrified grayish texture.
Speaker: Their branches intertwine above the clearing in a pattern that almost looks intentional. Forms of lattice from which lichen and vines hang down into the grove. Lichen, eh? The grove itself has a very mossy floor.
Speaker: You see a lot of trees of many different sizes dotted around. Topaz is staring intently down there. Then she reaches into her backpack and pulls out a pair of spectacles.
Speaker: Has Snot ever seen a grove like this before? No. Okay. yeah I don't think any of you have seen a grove like this before. It's very unusual, almost like it was planned, but there are no other trees around. It's just a small grove of trees in this little valley.
Speaker: That's just kind of standing. Let's do it for us. Master Topaz. Aye. Are those the magic trees where the armor is? Aye, it's down there, but I'm taking a look down there.
Speaker: I see some... I see a few trees moving around. I think Locust's getting late. Why don't we set up a camp back on the other side of this hill? Or, well, back a little bit.
Speaker: And then maybe we'll go down there in the morning. ah Trees are, you know, nocturnal. So it's probably be safer in the morning. Now when you said that she was taking out spectacles, is this some sort of like long-sighted device or does she just need glasses?
Speaker: No, it just looks like she needs glasses and they're they're like quite a powerful effect when you put them on her eyes look large, staring through a fishbowl. Can we see stuff moving around the way she's describing? Make a perception check if you're checking out the growth.
Speaker: Checking out the growth. I cut me 12. 13. 1! thirteen one Okay. Hang on, hang on. No, I have a heroic inspiration. If we're going to go to sleep, then I'll get it back. That's right.
Speaker: Imagining Sut sort of reaching up to put his hands on her shoulder and turning her 90 degrees to actually look towards the girl. How about 14? Is 14 any better?
Speaker: Yes. So you all got 12, 13, 14, I think, roughly in that range. So you can't see very clearly. You're a good 100 feet away up the hill. But you can definitely see some shapes moving down in the trees. and It looks like some of the trees are moving.
Speaker: There's a huge tree in the center of the grove. That's not moving, but around it you see smaller trees that are almost humanoid. They have weird spiky bits all over them. They're striding around.
Speaker: You can't see them very clearly or get a sense of how many there are. Well, something's moving. a Slop does not think we should stay here. Well, we'll go back a hill. Just go back a hill or two.
Speaker: It's almost night anyway, so we're going to have to camp somewhere. And you're sure they're nocturnal, Fred? bride Right, right, right. No, trees are always nocturnal. Everybody knows that.
Speaker: Does Fred know that? Make a nature check. Eight. Um, yeah, sure.
Speaker: I mean, to be fair, Fred hasn't seen trees walk around all that much. So the time of day that they do that, who knows? Come on, nature people. Zod is not familiar with the common word for nocturnal, so I'm not going to try and figure out if he understands.
Speaker: Is this one of those situations where he just nods very, very slowly and looks at everybody else? In other situations, yes, but he's been remarkably quiet and skeptical looking with this dwarf.
Speaker: So he does, has nothing to offer about whatever this is trees are supposed to be. He is surprised to see trees out here in what's been otherwise a sort of return of the native style landscape.
Speaker: Yeah. So Topaz goes back down the hill and gestures for you guys to follow. come on, come on. I want to get set up and get wasted. I rolled a 14 nature. Does that get me anywhere?
Speaker: You're highly skeptical of her knowledge about trees.
Speaker: But you don't really know about these magic trees, so maybe she knows something. This is the great schism that splits the party. Disagreement over the habits of trees.
Speaker: So Topaz leads everybody back up ah one of the hills, maybe one or two hills back. She's looking around, clears a spot. She's like, all right, well, I could set up a little fire, maybe.
Speaker: And you got your bedrolls? Cook some little stew, maybe? Um, Snot think we make fire. Trees get mad. Come over here. No, no, no. They run away from fire. They hate fire.
Speaker: Snot's just doing his sort of hopping from one foot to the other thing when he... If you have to go to the bathroom, go down to the bottom of the hill. Okay. Oh, whoa. Hold on. and She hands you like a little trowel. Well, Snot does love tools, so he'll take that happily.
Speaker: And she reaches into her other pocket and pulls out a little bundle of leaves. Pants out to you. Okay, Snot's just holding a trowel and a bunch of leaves. And then he slowly turns and walks away from the camp.
Speaker: Okay. Oh, Fred is very happy to make camp. Tobaz is like, all right, right, we'll make the fire very small. Snot gets a distance from the camp.
Speaker: Can he give the leaves a good sniff and see if they're mint or some kind of special leaves? Yeah, you can sniff them. They look like eucalyptus or something. You're not too familiar with it, but they have a little bit of an odor. You're not sure okay why she gave them to you.
Speaker: Oh, okay. these are going in the pack with the trowel then. You feel like a koala would be super into them.
Speaker: Yeah, so Snot's gonna stay away from the camp long enough that he doesn't have to do any work to make the fire.
Speaker: Maybe, i don't know, if Fred wants to help her or not get the fire going. Yeah. You get a little bit of whatever Fred's got, and then she's got a few herbs, throw them in the pot, get on a little bit of a simmer.
Speaker: And yeah, so after 20 minutes or so, you've got a bit of a stew that's surprisingly hearty, and after a long day of trudging, it's relatively filling. Probably very turnip forwards, but that's okay.
Speaker: She's like, oh, this is a bit tangy. Not going to like it. She reaches into her pack and pulls out a large silver flask. She's like, and I'll tell you, your Goliath is no good at making breakfast, but he did give me a bit of this, hilsch whiskey.
Speaker: a So, uh, get your cups out. We're getting drunk. Um, wouldn't it be more intelligent to keep watch and not be drunk?
Speaker: Maybe not be familiar with dwarves. We don't get drunk. I get drunk. I'll not drink. All right, well, don't worry. I can take care of watch. I'll take the first watch anyway. Fred, do you want to take a second watch?
Speaker: Sure. All right. ah Third watch? Any volunteers? I'll take the third watch. All right. I guess we'll just let Mr. Goblin sleep. Yeah, Snot's not come back to the camp yet.
Speaker: I don't know if you want to check on him. He seems a bit skittish. Sometimes you need to give them a little bit of a little bit of their own head. They can calm down. Well, I'm sure Mr. Snot is...
Speaker: Fred kind of looks around somewhere around here. She's drinking liberally of the whiskey and offering it to, ah since Lily didn't want any, she's offering it to Fred and then just sort of pouring a little in his cup whether he wants it or not.
Speaker: Fred can't help but be polite about this, but he's going to probably slow down his drinking pretty quickly after the first yeah cup or so. It is strong and fiery.
Speaker: You can imagine that this is something that Fu drinks. Oh, that, uh, yeah, that's got a bit of Oh, aye, aye, it's got a kick. All right. Aye. I'm starting to like that, Goliath. Now, now, now look, you two, um, I, I hate to be a bit awkward, but I've not really worked with a goblin before, and think it's throwing me off, and I feel like I'm kind of messing up my relationships here.
Speaker: You got any advice? Fred looks thoughtful. Well, I don't know. Mr. Snot's a fella. Just gotta spend some time with him, I think.
Speaker: He can be quite helpful. And I've grown to trust him very much. Just be kind with him. And maybe a little softer. Softer?
Speaker: He's very sensitive. He's a very sensitive soul. Yes, perhaps let's talk about chopping him up. Might go over well. Well, didn't mean chopping him up.
Speaker: I meant, you know, just chopping up like people he knows. Oh, there you go. If they're evil, you know, if they're bad. Now, you raise an excellent point. Not all goblins are evil.
Speaker: Mr. Snot is a fine example of that.
Speaker: I felt like you were going to say more.
Speaker: mean, we've we've certainly had our trouble with goblins. Boy, Fu was telling me about your ah your table there. You cracked up two of them pretty good. I did, yes. This fine piece of furniture is also courtesy of our Mr. Fu.
Speaker: Very talented man. think Fred's probably set up actually using the table as a table as he prepares the food. Well, it's convenient, too. Can't do that with my ox.
Speaker: I'm going to look for snot. All right. Is it just completely black and dark? it's I would say it's dim light. It is night now. There's some cloud cover, but the moon is still about a half moon.
Speaker: So there's scattered bits of moonlight, and since it's so open, you would say dim light. Then I can see at least.
Speaker: I didn't want to interrupt his business, but it has been ah spell since he left. It's been a while, and I'm a little worried. I'll go get him.
Speaker: Do I know what direction our friend is gone? ah you think you saw what direction he walked off in. Snot, are you actively hiding, or is Lily able to find you when she comes stumbling down the hill?
Speaker: Well, what I think... but He went away from the group a ways, and then he basically got far enough away that he could listen to the land and listen to the animals around and ah not be distracted by the very loud dwarf.
Speaker: Yeah. And he's trying to get a sense of what things live around here. And given the opportunity, I think he might even use Speak with Animals to try and ask them about the grove. I'm assuming this isn't frog country.
Speaker: Or muskrat. Seems like a drier area. Yeah, exactly. well Why don't you make an animal handling check? Okay. 20. 20.
Speaker: twenty Okay. That's modified or natural? Modified 20, not natural. Dirty like a goblin. Say what now?
Speaker: A swampy 20. Yeah, so you you could reach out. There's some little birds flapping around and and you see some wild hair. Oh, yes.
Speaker: You're able to communicate with them a little bit and find out that, yeah, out here there are not a lot of animals. There are Birds, hares, lot of little mice and rodents that live under the grass.
Speaker: There's some foxes. But about the grove, they specifically say they don't go there. It's dangerous. That's what Snod wanted to know about. He apparently gets 10 minutes to talk to them, and he wants to know anything they know about the grove.
Speaker: Yeah, there are concepts that they can't fully elaborate on, but to them, the grove is like not quite right, not quite part of... It's different somehow from everything else that they know.
Speaker: Trees are moving, for one thing. Yeah, well, they don't really don't really know trees anywhere else, so... Oh. They're little surprised by that, but it's it's ah an ancient place, and the rabbits have always avoided it.
Speaker: Although they do say that there is a very, there's one creature there that they know of that sometimes leaves the grove and tends for the animals if they're sick or wounded. Oh. And they they think that she is very nice and they consider her like almost like a deity.
Speaker: And she lives in the grove, but they will never go to the grove. It's almost like a sacred place. So they're not just frightened of it. They're also like a little in awe of this grove. That sounds a little bit like the mention something about like a dryad or something.
Speaker: Yeah, you get that very strong impression. Okay.
Speaker: For Find Familiar, are are you, like, basically permanently creating a bond with a creature, or do you just, like, summon a familiar for a while and then let it go?
Speaker: you cast a spell while you have a familiar, you instead cause it to adopt a new form. So it's kind of like a spirit. Oh, okay. That you've... forged a bond with it. So when you cast Find Familiar, you have that bond as long as you want it, ah but you can cast a spell again to cause it to change form.
Speaker: Interesting, and you can dismiss it as an action and then recall it. Yeah. Nearby. Okay. So the spirit that Stott's associated with, he's not really had it around much, but under the circumstances it seems like that might be a very good idea.
Speaker: So he is also going to cast Find Familiar and ask for the spirit to come to him in the form of, uh, let's say a catbird. Okay.
Speaker: Is this the spirit formerly known as Frog? Yes, same spirit that is sometimes a frog. You know what? Actually, Snot is going to ask it to come forth in the form of skunk.
Speaker: Oh, okay. Because he knows that skunks are, well I don't know if people have a word for this, but goblins would consider them nocturnal. And he is going to ask the the familiar to keep a watch over the camp, which he will head back towards.
Speaker: So that nothing sneaks up on us during the night. Okay.
Speaker: Yeah, so you've summoned, you have a name? Frog. Okay. Spirit name is Frog. You summon the skunk frog, and this won't be confusing, and you assign it to its task, so it will stay around the camp. It'll just sort of be snuffling around.
Speaker: Okay. Looking for things to chew on. It gives a very reassuring scent of guardianship, too. You know when Frog's keeping watch over because it's pungent. Yeah, if there's danger, you will know quickly.
Speaker: Well, yet even when there isn't, there' you just, you know when frogs nearby. Right. So Snot is going to head back towards the camp and probably since he can see someone in the dark, he's going to intercept Lillia on her way out of camp.
Speaker: Yeah, just stumbling around. Lady. Ineptly. Lady. Snot! Oh, we were worried about you. Are you coming back? Yes, not coming back. You need, uh, trowel?
Speaker: No, thank you. Okay. Snot will not look. Snot just goes past her towards the camp. Okay. Hey, are you okay? I mean, right.
Speaker: Bye. No, Snot is good. Snot, talk to animals. Find out about Grove. Nice lady who live in Grove. Can we talk to the nice lady and just get the armor and leave?
Speaker: not just shrugs his shoulders. We find out tomorrow. Okay. Well, you don't have to take watch tonight, so why don't you just hunker down and go to sleep?
Speaker: Yes, Frog is watching. Frog? Snot goes back into the camp, finds a place where he can curl up. As you get back, Topaz is acting a little sheepish.
Speaker: as She sees you. she She's still up to. Brings you over a big bowl of soup. She says, I, uh, Snort, we, uh, save the best bit soup for you. Uh, if you want any.
Speaker: Snort sniffs it. Does it plausibly seem like the best bit? It smells very turnip-y. For Snort? Yeah, for you. Okay. Okay. Snot looks very suspicious, but he takes the soup close so that he can get warmth from it in addition to slurping it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: He scrapped his long hands around the, I assume, bowl? Yeah. cuzan Little bowl. Yeah, to just really, really absorb that heat. And ease he starts slurping with increasing noise and vigor.
Speaker: ah Topaz has backed off as as you take it. And she goes over to Fred, she's like, right How doing? Not bad. It's good start.
Speaker: He does like food. Much better. All right. Well, let's ah get some sleep. It's going to be an interesting day tomorrow. Probably smells kind of skunky around the camp.
Speaker: Yeah, she does keep wrinkling her nose and looking around like, of all the places we could have made camp. oh but You get used to it. Does anybody want to do anything else this this evening?
Speaker: I think Snot's reassured enough to go to sleep.
Speaker: Yeah, Fred's had a long day, so... And you guys got to keep watch. Yeah. But he I guess he has Fred a second watch. I'll try to take a little bit of a nap. Yeah. All right.
Speaker: It's actually nice out here. Without all the you know the lights from Mud Puddle, you can see all the stars. The big city lights. Yeah, big city lights of Puddle. Blinking neon signs of Mud Puddle.
Speaker: ah But you see the huge stars, and and Lily, as you're falling asleep, you see the the constellation of the raccoon whirling overhead. ya Casting its familiar light down upon you.
Speaker: Washing its food in some moving water.
Speaker: You ever see a raccoon with like cotton candy? That's awesome. That is the best. All right. And as you sink into slumber with dreams of raccoons with sticky paws, let's bring this episode to a close.
Speaker: Thank you for listening to Clarendon, The Heilling Chronicles, and please join us for our next, hopefully more exciting, episode.
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